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Kaminari Denki never liked getting hurt
He made sure to pay attention to his steps when he walks in a particularly slippery floor. He would briefly stop a conversation to focus on his steps on the stairs.
So in conclusion, he doesn’t want to feel pain.
But in a month, things change. He doesn’t remember when it started. When he started to admire the bruises that spreads along his skin. When he started to like the feeling he gets from pressing those exact bruise. When he felt satisfaction from getting those bruises.
He found out that being in the hero course comes with a free pass for people overlooking the black and blue discoloration that litter all over his body. In fact, some of his peers would even praise him for the marking he has on his skin.
“Damn bro, that some nasty bruise you got there” Sero leaned on Denki, putting his weight on top of him as the self-proclaimed bakusquad spread around the common room couch.
“If you think that’s cool, look at mine! Purple looks kinda cute on my pink skin!” Mina points at the bruise on her forearm besides Sero.
“Dumbass! If you get hurt during training, you need to go to recovery girl to get healed” a scowl appeared instantly on Bakugo’s face. Kirishima gently nudge Bakugo’s side, both sitting across from the other. “What he said is true though broskies. Even if a scar makes you look manly, you need to pay attention to your body and stay healthy”
Mina waved Kirishima off as she talked about adding gems and sparkle on top of the injury to make a Milky Way.
So in short, no one bats an eye to an injury that a hero course student have on their body.
Kaminari has always been well-educated on mental health. He is also well-knowledge on social cues and settings. So when someone says, “ugh I want to die” he knew that they didn’t really mean it. That they didn’t have the underlying truth to it so he just laughs and went along with it. When someone skips either breakfast, lunch, or dinner, it doesn’t automatically becomes a signs of an eating disorder, but he still keeps his friends in check so they have the energy to get through the day.
With those habits, he applied it to himself. He made sure to join his classmates to their daily dinner together even if he didn’t have an appetite. He made sure to get a minimum of 6 hours of sleep since he read about the negative impact of little sleep on the teenage brain and body. He made sure to get out of his room to hang out with his friends to keep making new memories and gain experience since he knew time flies fast and to not regret on the things he didn’t do.
But he wasn’t perfect. He was bound to make a mistake. He knew reflecting his frustration and anger to his body was not ideal or healthy. But oh god his heart felt so heavy and his head was filled with static. His tongue felt like cotton and his eyes just stings. He needed a release. He needed an outlet that can help him release all the negative feelings.
Kaminari Denki needed control.
Sitting by his study table inside his room on a should’ve been boring Wednesday, he numbly grabbed a cutter from the second drawer on his right. His moves slow and calculated as he gently dropped his left hand on top of the book he was reviewing from. The cutter held by his right hand aimed for the wrist.
But a cut is still a cut. Questions was bound to be asked, not to mention the placement was on a commonly self-inflicted injury area.
A quiet thud was heard as Kaminari snapped out of his trance and dropped the cutter.
“What the fuck am I doing” He hissed as he grabbed a handful of his hair, lightly pulling it. He curled into himself as he stared at the shiny weapon. He needed it.
He snatched the cutter and starred at it. He needed this. He needed a little release.
He glanced back at the books that was scattered across his table. The words mocking him as it jumbled over one another. The sentences teased him as if it knew he couldn’t even remember or even understand the material.
He looks back at his hands, “just a little cut” he justified “I won’t even go in that deep. I’m in control”
He turned his wrist slightly so instead of his bare forearm, he is staring at the inner side of his wrist. He stares at the lines and crease along his skin.
“If I cut it along the lines it should okay. I’ll start small. I am in control” and so he did that.
Despite contrary beliefs, Kaminari have self control. He stopped with 4 tiny cut that didn’t even went deep enough to scar and only grazed it slightly so it bled. He liked the sting. He liked the red. But he knew this wasn’t healthy. That this was not good or even a remotely normal thing to do. So he stopped. For now.
Some weeks went by and the cuts healed already. No scar was left behind and only his memory that haunted him for what he had done. But then again,
“It was only a tiny cut. It literally healed with no scars. I am okay” Kaminari sat by the kitchen island staring blankly at his wrists.
“ What the fuck. Why am I justifying my own action to myself?” He furrowed his eyebrow, confusion swirled behind his gold colored eyes.
“Well my friend,” a hand landed on his shoulder making him jumped, “that happens when you did something you know you aren’t supposed to do, but did it anyway” Sero lazily leaned in to him again.
“What naughty habits did u development kami?” Sero leaned in to Kaminari’s face. Intrigued written all over it.
“Whaaaat? Naughty habit? Me? Sero I’m wounded” Kaminari gave Sero a pouty lip and eyes filled with mischief. It wasn’t hard for Kaminari to jump back to his extroverted personality since it was the most natural for him to jump back to.
“Yes you Kami. Hmm could it be…”
“Hmmm”
“A new flavored~”
“Hmmm”
“Vape!”
“Maybe~”
“No way bro! You gotta let me have a taste! Come on. Let’s go to your room right now. Sharing is caring” Kaminari laughed as Sero pushed and drag him up to his room.
Denki didn’t really see a big of a deal in vaping. He found out that the rest of the bakusquad did it too. Well, more like Mina (who loves sweet flavored one), Kirishima (who likes flavors like Gatorade or Red Bull but has been doing it less since Bakugo doesn’t really like it), and his bro Sero (who likes anything and everything, finding new flavors is his favorite thing) Bakugo doesn’t do vaping. He said it would be very bad for his health and he needed to maintain Blablabla. The point is they don’t force Bakugo to start and he doesn’t force them to stop (he did try at first but in his words “do whatever you extra do. I don’t care” but he does care since he still keeps them in check in his own ways)
“Nope” Bakugo stands in the middle of the elevator as Sero was pushing Kaminari inside.
“We have a math test tomorrow and you dumbasses are bound to fail if you don’t come to the study session” groans and protest wanted to be released but wasn’t let out as they both knew what Bakugo said was correct.
The bakusquad, as they call themselves, met together in Kirishima’s room to study. Bakugo is a good teacher that calls for attention and wait for them to fully understand the process. Although it took some time to get there as the first time they had a study session, it was just Bakugo screaming at them. That he finds it ridiculous how they didn’t understand a concept.
As the clock strike 12 Bakugo kicked everyone out of Kirishima’s room and demanded them to sleep.
“We finally finished that hardcore review huh” Sero sighed to Mina and Kaminari on their way to their room.
“Yeah! I was supposed to meet up with Jirou to get our nails repainted, but I’m really glad we had the review. I actually think I’m going to get more than 85% right on tomorrow’s test!”
“Nah, watch me get a higher score than you” Mina jumped on Sero as they friendly argue the whole way back and made a bet. Meanwhile Kaminari was struggling on keeping the smile on his face.
He didn’t understand shit. What the actual fuck was he going to do.
He snapped he eyes up and he was back inside his room, sitting in front of his study desk.
A smile cracked on his lips and a cackle followed along. The sound wasn’t his usual laugh he lets out around his friends. This one sounds unpleasant. Like running nails against a black board or the loud clacking of silverware against one another on silent night. It was filled with sorrow yet hallow. But he doesn’t stop laughing. He took a deep breath and let it all out.
And he grabbed the cutter and pulled his leg to him. He pressed the blade watching it sink in to his flesh. Feeling satisfied when it left traces of red. Though he kept the pattern random. One on the ankles and another on his knees. He added some to the back of his calfs and some on his thighs. But he kept note on the pressure, making sure not to push too hard where it would penetrate to leave scars. He wasn’t ready for that. For people to find out.
Red lines scattered around his lower half yet he wasn’t satisfied yet. He wanted to see it up close. He made a fist and repeatedly slashed his ring finger, not taking a break. When he stopped, it took a few second for the blood to flow and a soft smile tugged his lips.
“That felt right - but just. One. More” he made a controlled cut on the fist of his middle finger. Medium length with more strength. He was finished.
The next day the cut has yet to closed up. But Denki thought it was healing quite fast so he just let it be and not put anything on it. However, he would feel a slight sting from time to time on his injury on his leg since he always wore long pants. Strangely he felt in peace and even satisfied from the feeling. On the middle of the day, his wound on his fingers caught no-ones eyes except him. He kept glancing at it. Seeing it in an irritated red color and by lunch he decided to put a bandaid on top of it to let it rest. No one questioned why he had a bandaid on his fingers. No one even got a chance to get a glimpse of his legs. No one was even a little big suspicious and he felt wonderful.
He got away with it. Nobody cared.
“Hey dumbass. What’s up with the bandaid?” Jirou asked beside him from her seat in the class.
Denki’s heart skipped a bit yet he let out a laugh and a grin, “Oh, I accidentally cut myself while trying to cook and put on a whole show about it hurting. So a bandaid was slap in place.”
Jirou had a confused and slightly weirded out face, “whatever. You are so extra” and a chuckle was the only answer
Though Denki had not approach the kitchen in months. Nobody had seen any ‘show’. Nobody was there to ‘slap’ a bandaid in place.
But what he said seemed ‘Denki like’ so no further questions was asked.
Nobody questions the extrovert.