Chapter Text
The swirling darkness of resentful energy mixed with the spiritual energies stored in Subian and Lan Zhan's jade token. Focusing all his attention on the twisting streams, Wei Ying forced the three together, though they fought and bucked against each other. The yin iron of the Tiger seal reformed into a blade and snaked around the sword; yet, supported by the jade token, Subian’s righteous spirit fought back, forcing its form around the iron. He thrust the two metals bound in jade into the earth, searching for the pure energy of nature. The resentful energy was winning; Wei Ying dug deeper, sifting through the darkness soaking the soil in the Burial Mound. He dug and reached into the earth with his own energy until he touched the pure, natural vitality trapped beneath the bitter layers of the ground’s blood-soaked history. As he strained to maintain control, he tried to draw forth a small stream from nature’s life force.
He didn’t need much, just enough to counter the seal and either purify it or destroy it. If he did this right, the array surrounding him would protect him long enough to achieve his goal. Afterwards, it didn’t matter. Afterwards, he could let go and rest. He was a failure, a troublemaker who tried to save a small piece of the world and failed. Wei Ying failed to keep his parents; he failed to support Jiang Cheng, to protect his sister, or save their parents and the rest of Lotus Pier. He failed to save the Wen remnants and A-Yuan and failed to be a worthy companion to Lan Zhan.
As these thoughts pulled at his attention, Wei Ying’s tenuous control on the natural energy slipped. The small stream burst forth, a desperate spring longing to cleanse a once pure land. The multiple energies merged into a tornado of supernatural power, and there in the calm of the centre, Wei Ying sank into its influence.
His body seemed to disappear, as did all other awareness. For a long while, he drifted, sinking into the ether of energy until he could no longer tell where it began and he ended. A secondary thought drifted through his brain, reminding him in a muted voice that he should be in pain. Yet he felt nothing; he wasn’t even certain he was breathing anymore.
The resentful energy of the ghost path, the natural energy of the physical world, and sliver of spiritual energy from the righteous path combined into one and merged with him. For the first time since before he lost his parents, Wei Ying felt safe, at ease.
This was all he ever wanted in life – not power or riches, just the simplicity of being safe. It was strange that the closest he ever got to this was those few months in the Burial Mound before everything fell apart. Their lives had fallen into a rhythm, untroubled by anything other than the day to day job of staying alive.
Wei Ying’s thoughts drifted to images of an ideal world. He let himself dream of a healed Burial grounds with sparkling waterfalls and fertile soil. If only he could build a stone wall around their sanctuary – maybe two stone walls a couple of feet apart with the bones and the bodies of the dead laid to rest in between them and covered with stone across the top. If possible, he would carve the names of the dead in the stone to honour them, and bind the resentful energy to the barrier, making it an impenetrable fortification protecting the entire Burial Mound.
The thought made him smile. Then they would have miles and miles of flowing streams, cultivated land, wild meadows and forests briming with life and medicinal plants, and orchards of apples, plums, and loquats.
Oh, how he could feed the others until even A-Yuan was full.
Of course, there had to be a lotus pond or two… and a cold pond hidden away for Lan Zhan to enjoy. They would have to have a home big enough for the two of them and A-Yuan… and any other children that might come their way. It would have to be far enough away from the others for Lan Zhan to feel comfortable, yet close enough to still be a part of the community. And it needed a proper bath – maybe tiled and sunken into the ground and fed by a natural spring of heated water.
He sighed, almost admonishing himself for such strange ideas. Poor Lan Zhan’s ears would burn off if he knew Wei Ying was imagining such things. Then again, no one was here to judge his dream. He could make up whatever he wanted. He could build them a beautiful home fit for Hanguang-Jun with an expanse of yard behind it where the children could play and they could grow their own little garden. They also had to have an area of their own to train in private. Maybe they could even have their own lotus pond for the kids to play in.
Just beyond that, Wei Ying could have his own workshop where he could tinker in safety and make as big a mess as he wanted. There would be a gate beside it that opened to a path leading to Lan Zhan’s cold spring and a meditation area just for him.
Wei Ying would fill it with gentians to remind the Lan of his mother.
And bunnies; they had to have a field of bunnies.
Of course, each of the Wens would have a sturdy house to live in. Wen Qing would also have a medical building where she could treat the locals from Yiling and maybe even teach if she wanted to. Wen Ning would have an archery range too, so he could teach A-Yuan and all the other orphans they would bring in.
There would have to be a hall for everyone to gather, a bath house and laundry, and a school too. They could teach anyone who wanted to learn, no matter their name or status.
It would be wonderful to have a small lake in the centre of their community where they could catch fish. A beautiful series of waterfalls would splash down the far mountainside to fill it with fresh, sparkling water while two streams flow through their village and border two sides of the main square before flowing away on their journey to the rivers of Yiling. Of course, it wouldn’t hurt to have a few mines of precious metals… maybe gold or jade… to pay for all of this.
And a hall for their ancestors. They had to have a place to honour his parents, Lan Zhan’s parents, and any other relatives the Wens wanted to remember.
He wouldn’t need a tablet for Shijie because she would still be alive… as would her husband. Did the Peacock have to be her husband? Couldn’t Jin Ling’s soul still become her child if someone other than a guy from a conniving, back-stabbing sect like the Jin became her husband? Sure, it turned out the Peacock had some redeemable qualities. Still, his Shijie didn’t deserve to live in such a mired cesspool of deceit.
Yes, Shijie would be alive and safe, living in a place where she was loved and protected. That would be a better future. Lan Zhan would want to be his cultivation partner, and they would come and visit. Maybe even Jiang Cheng would visit and stop glaring at him with hate. Lan Xichen would visit his brother, and NieHuaisang would come too, bringing enough wine for a long night of drinks and laughter.
Oh, how nice that would be, more like their days at Cloud Recesses before the war and death tore away their innocence and youth.
A tightness in his chest broke through his dream and sorrow shredded his reverie. Darkness pushed away the pleasant image of happiness, replacing it with cold reality. He was dead; he had to be. Yet, he wasn’t a ghost or anything, really. Any pain or breathing had to be a leftover habit from being alive.
He was dead, as was Shijie, the Peacock, Wen Ning, Wen Qing, and so many other whose blood was on his hands.
The energy surrounding Wei Ying changed, taking on a vicious intensity that tore at his soul. Other images forced themselves into his awareness. Jiang Cheng stood before Yanli’s coffin with a baby in his arms and robes of pure white. Though tears of sorrow flowed down his cheeks, his eyes burned with anger and hatred.
Any remains of the fragile brotherhood between Wei Ying and Jiang Cheng were crushed under the weight of wrong choices, betrayals, and misunderstandings. In truth, he had to admit their friendship was doomed from the start. Madame Yu poisoned their childhood while Jiang Fengmian stood to the side and let it happen. Between her hatred for Wei Ying and his mother and Jiang Fengmian’s guilt-driven attention for Wei Ying, the twin Prides of Yunmeng was a dream much like the paradise of his imagination.
“I’m sorry, Jiang Cheng,” he thought as he tried to will the picture of his former brother away. Instead, the image shifted through a myriad of scenes: Jiang Cheng ruling Lotus Pier with determination, creating loyalty amid the growing number of residents and disciples and filling the coffers, as he expanded their business endeavours. Before long, he and Lotus Pier developed into a serious contender in trade amid the clans and sects.
As a touch of pride for Jiang Cheng developed in Wei Ying, the scene shifted again. This time, the young leader of Lotus Pier stood before a young man dressed in black. The stranger huddled on the ground, his hair hanging in strings across his face, eyes wide with fear, and body shaking. He coughed, blood flowing from his mouth.
“Was it worth it?” Jiang Cheng snarled, Zidian sparking as it writhed like a snake before its prey. “Was it worth your life to follow into his darkness, his depravity? Do you think him a hero? He wasn’t. He was a thief that stole my family. Look what he’s brought us both to. He didn’t give a damn about anyone, not even those Wen dogs he saved. They were just a means to an ends to him, another way to increase his power. And what did he get in the end?” Jiang Cheng snorted. “Torn apart by his own creations. Ahh, don’t worry. I’ll save you before it’s too late. I’ll destroy his evil as I should have destroyed him as a child.”
Without another word, he brought Zidian down upon the poor man. Again and again he struck until he hit bone and tore it from his victim’s body. He struck without mercy or awareness of the man’s shrieks of pain. With a flick of his wrist he tore at the helpless form until it fell silent, until it was nothing more than a mess of ripped flesh and bone.
A flash of white in his peripheral told him of Lan Wangi’s arrival. Bitterness and rage made his scowl darken as he turned and walked away. “It wasn’t him,” he said over his shoulder. “Just another pathetic imitation.”
The horror of the scene sent shivers through Wei Ying. Maybe his former brother was trying to save him… or something. His brain scrambled to come up with a reason other than hatred for Jiang Cheng’s actions. Unfortunately, when coupled with the rage and loathing on his martial brother’s face when he entered the burial grounds with the rest of the cultivation world behind him, he failed.
Wei Ying barely escaped the sect leader’s wrath as he stormed the demon subdue cave with Zidian flying. What the weapon didn’t destroy, the fire talismans his former brother threw around was sure to finish off.
The screams of the remaining Wens who tried to protect Wei Ying followed him as he hid A-Yuan and tried to destroy the seal. After all, that was the real reason why they had come. That was the real reason why so many had died. Imagined revenge may have been the excuse; however, greed for power was the goal.
If only Wei Ying hadn’t lost control of Wen Ning. If only his own pride hadn’t fed the anger the resentful energy stirred up in him. Would it have mattered? Would Wen Roahan have left Lotus Pier alone if Wei Ying had not pushed Wen Chao, or would they have all died in that cave? Probably not. After all, Cloud Recesses had done nothing to justify the attack on their clan. Then again, Wei Ying was trouble no matter how hard he tried not to be. He let Jiang Cheng down; he let them all down.
‘Ah, Lan Zhan,’ he thought as the picture of the man came clear in his vision. ‘How right you were to hate me.’
The image knelt before him, golden eyes filled with desperation and longing. “I love you.”
No, no! This wasn’t right. Lan Zhan didn’t, couldn’t love him. He was too pure, too righteous to care someone so flawed and soiled as Wei Ying. The Lan wanted to punish him, imprison him… didn’t he?
“Don’t leave me. Let me help. I’m here. Everything will be all right. I can’t imagine life without you.” Did Lan Zhan actually say these things?
He remembered the stream of spiritual energy the Lan poured into him, how warm and strong it felt. Too bad it was so useless to one without a core.
Still, was this a memory or a deeply hidden desire inside him? As he tried to sort out his muddled brain, the image of Lan Zhan stood and turned, his sword in his hand. Were the Lan elders really there? No. They couldn’t be. Hanguang-Jun wouldn’t raise his weapon against them. He was too righteous for such an unfilial act of defiance. And Wei Ying wasn’t anyone worth fighting for. This was all wrong.
Before he could sort it out, the picture shifted back to Cloud Recesses. Lan Zhan knelt in front of the elders, Lan Qiren before him.
“You dared to raise your weapon against your own elders to protect evil. Do not associate with evil. Do you not remember this teaching? Have we failed you so badly that you would allow the poison of that creature warp your loyalty?” The self-righteous teacher’s face scowled with disappointment and anger. He lifted a hand and barked something Wei Ying couldn’t comprehend.
Wei Ying screamed into the void as the discipline whip came down on Lan Zhan’s pristine back. This couldn’t happen. They wouldn’t strike their second Jade with such a debilitating weapon. The barbed leather came down again and again, cutting deep gashes into the flesh and muscle. Blood flowed freely, coating the white robes and pooling on the ground.
“No, no, no!” Wei Ying screeched into the void. He tried to command his body to do something to stop this, only the energy surrounding him held him.
The thoughts whirled back and forth in Wei Ying’s brain, leading him on a downward spiral into despair. His body was done, his mind a scrambled mess of guilt and anger, and his family and friends either hated him or were dead. Why stay? Why keep living? All he brought was pain and suffering.
“What is right? What is wrong? What is black? What is white?” Lan Zhan’s words barely make their way into his awareness.
“Lan Zhan, I’m sorry,” he whispered, his throat raw. “If I could go back, I would try to do better. I would let you help me. I would do whatever you wanted. If I could go back, I would do better. I would save you. I would save Shijie, and Lotus Pier. I would give the Wens a better home and save Wen Ning and Wen Qing. I would do better.”
The words fell into the void as darkness came over him. His mind retreated back into his dream, back into a beautiful home surrounded by the Wens with Lan Zhan by his side. He would do whatever he could to change their lives and bring them happiness. If he could go back, he would do better.