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Tonight was not supposed to be special; in fact, Dennis was practically desperate to ensure that it wouldn’t be, so he could willingly ignore the weight of his final evening home. He would be leaving for Penn in the morning, and it would be the official start of his adult life.
Still, he was having Mac and Charlie over like it was any other summer night, but no matter how hard he tried to convince himself, he knew it couldn’t be. Tomorrow, he would head off to college, and he wouldn’t be back until Thanksgiving Break, three months away. Dennis knew he wasn’t quite an adult yet, because three months seemed longer than forever, especially without Mac and Charlie.
He shook away his concern; they’d been best friends for four years; there was no way that would end after only three months apart. They would be utterly lost without him. He resolutely nodded, despite the fact that he was sitting in the living room by himself, unconsciously wringing his hands. He’d spent the entire summer shoving down all the thoughts and anxieties surrounding his impending academic future, sincerely prioritizing soaking in every dwindling second before his life changed. Even now, he still firmly clung to his need for distraction.
With sublime timing, an eager knock sounded at the front door. Dennis huffed with relief as a small smile pulled at the corner of his mouth. “I’ll get it.” He called out to no one. Their hired help had gone home for the evening, and neither of his parents were in town. The only other person in the house was Dee, and he doubted she’d even heard it. She was upstairs, listening to her booming stereo while attempting to perform a miracle of procrastinated packing.
Dennis hurried over, quickly opening the door. His easy grin only faltered for the slightest of seconds when he realized Mac was by himself. “Where’s Charlie?”
Mac sighed. “He’s passed out at my place.”
“Really?” Dennis tried to school his offense that their other friend wouldn’t be joining them on their last night together. “Why?”
“Apparently, his mom invited his Uncle Jack to stay the week, so he made a deal to help her around the house and to have dinner with them earlier, so that he could stay at my place while he’s in town.”
Dennis barely stifled a shiver. That man seriously gave him the creeps. “Well, that’s good.” He stepped aside to let Mac in.
He nodded. “Yeah; he came over totally exhausted, but I warned him that I would leave him behind if he passed out. I still did try to wake him up, though.” His voice was insistent and earnest. As if he was capable of deception.
Dennis shrugged, deciding to not be bothered. Mac was there; that was more than enough, and almost all that mattered. “That’s okay; it sounds like he needs the sleep.”
Mac nodded, his damp hair flopping with the movement. “I think so, too.” He ran his hand through it, the scent of his spiced shampoo briefly distracting Dennis. “He’s usually such a light-sleeper, but he didn’t even stir when I tried to shake him awake. I’m sorry, dude.”
Dennis waved him off as he shut the front door, and led the way to his basement. “Hey, it couldn’t be helped. At least, you still came.” He wanted to be embarrassed by the eager tone of his voice, but Mac didn’t seem to notice.
“Of course, I came. Den, there’s no way I’d let you leave without me getting to say goodbye.”
Dennis forced down a large lump in his throat as he cleared it. “Well, save that for tomorrow.” A disappointing thought occurred to him. “Unless you don’t plan on staying, since Charlie’s at your place?”
Mac fervently shook his head. “Charlie knew we had plans to help you tomorrow; besides, I have all the time in the world to hang out with him.”
Dennis huffed, only envying Charlie for a millisecond before the thought felt intrinsically impossible within his proud nature. With a teasing smirk, he opened the basement door. “Well, you better not have too much fun without me.”
“I won’t.” Mac immediately answered with stark sincerity, his syrupy brown eyes looking more solemn than Dennis had ever seen, as he shut the door behind him.
He forcefully cleared his throat again as they made their way down the stairs. “Naturally.” He replied as nonchalantly as he could manage, his usual arrogance feeling false all of a sudden.
Dennis couldn’t deny the tension that permeated between them, making the rather large basement feel muggy and much too small. It was no secret why the stiltedness was there, though the reason remained unspoken, simmering silently between the two of them.
It had started a few months before, the night of graduation. Charlie had left early, his mother making him a celebratory graduation dinner. Dennis would’ve teased him, but he knew how big a deal it was, for their academically-challenged friend to graduate, nothing short of a miracle, though Dennis would be willing to wager his entire inheritance, that the faculty at St. Joe’s all decided to fudge Charlie’s test scores to keep him from repeating another year.
Still, something strange had happened that night, once Mac and Dennis had started drunkenly surfing through the channels on his crappy T.V. in the basement. Dennis hadn’t been looking for Cinemax: After Dark (or more aptly nicknamed, Skin-emax), but he’d stumbled on it just the same.
A husky male moan sounded before Dennis had even realized it was porn, but he immediately had found himself frozen. They’d looked at dirty magazines in the past, but they’d never watched porn together. Before Dennis could think to stop himself, he set down the remote, and palmed himself over his jeans, relishing the sight of Mac’s jaw dropping in his periphery. Still, it hadn’t taken him too long to get with the program.
The rules remained unspoken, just like the ritual itself; no outright looking, no touching, and absolutely, no talking about it. It had happened a handful of times since, only when it was just the two of them. Dennis justified that they weren’t really leaving Charlie out; he never seemed interested in sex. Sometimes, Dennis wondered if the guy ever even jerked off. It was infinitely better that way; Dennis knew their other friend would immediately start asking questions that corrupted his new bonding ritual with Mac. Still, they were never sober enough to acknowledge it in the moment.
Dennis awkwardly cleared his throat, not a single drop in his system as he watched Mac sit down on the couch. “I need a beer. Want one?” He hastened to the fridge that he’d once had stocked with booze stolen from his parents. He’d packed up most of it the day before, all but a case of beer, sadly realizing that nobody would be drinking down there for the next three months.
“Yeah, thanks.”
Dennis nodded, handing Mac a beer, before ultimately deciding to set the case down on the table in front on the couch. It would save a great deal of time, to have the beer within arm’s reach. Despite the summer heat, the basement always held a distinct chill, so he was sure they'd stay crisp enough to comfortably slam down.
Dennis sat down with a foot in between them as he opened his can and quickly guzzled about half of it down. Mac copied his move, belching loudly less than two seconds later. “Classy.” Dennis scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Lord Ivy League; did I offend your highness?” There was no offense in his expression, just a playful grin that stretched from cheek-to-cheek; yet, it didn’t escape Dennis’ notice how the humor didn’t quite reach Mac’s deep brown eyes, like an endless labyrinth Dennis longed to get lost in.
Those enigmatic eyes briefly flitted in the direction of the T.V. before decisively returning to Dennis’ face. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”
His stomach clenched, but he forced out a scoff. “Please, Mac; what reason could I have to be nervous?”
Mac’s gaze pensively focused on Dennis’ eyes, as if searching for some fraction of false confidence, quickly turning his stomach from a solid to a sloshing liquid. “None.” Mac nodded, his voice entirely sincere. “You’ll be king of that place in a day. People can’t help but love you, Den. You already know that.” He averted his gaze as he downed the rest of his beer.
Dennis wasn’t so sure. He was well-liked, but nobody loved him; they couldn’t, not when there wasn’t a single soul in the world that truly knew him, present company excluded. Dennis smirked, deciding to catch up to Mac.
He was out of breath when he finished his beer, causing his question to come out in a huff as they both reached for their second can at the same time. “Are you going to miss me?”
Mac snagged the can with a snort. “Don’t ask stupid questions, College Boy.”
Dennis’ face must’ve faltered because Mac quickly handed him the beer with a soft smirk.
“It doesn’t count if you don’t say it, Mac.” He prodded before opening and taking a long swig from his beer while Mac grabbed a new one.
He cracked it open, looking away from Dennis. “I shouldn’t have to, when it’s obvious; either way, it doesn’t matter.” Mac immediately turned his attention to his drink.
“It does to me.”
Mac huffed out an exhale, his voice indescribably soft. “You know I will, Den.” He gulped nothing but air, briefly meeting his eyes. “So much so, that I can’t let myself think about it for too long.”
Dennis nodded as he gulped back some beer. “I know what you mean.” He sighed. “I can’t, either.”
Mac cleared his throat before decisively shaking his head. “Which is why we can’t get caught up in it. This is our last night, dude.”
“You’re right.” Dennis nodded to his beer before smirking at Mac. “Race you to the bottom.”
“You’re on.” He answered with a youthful grin as he positioned his can. “Go!”
Before Dennis knew it, they were slamming down their fourth beers. He would’ve expected to get more depressed the drunker he became, but it was practically impossible with Mac giving him that giddy grin. Still, his chest hurt so much, it was difficult to breathe, though he tried to convince himself that it was from laughing too hard.
“Aw, man.” Mac groaned, throwing his head back. “I wish I was smart like you, dude. Then, we could be going to Penn together.”
Warmth suffocated his chest, but Dennis shallowly breathed his way through it. “You won’t be missing much; it’s literally another four years of school, and that’s only if this Veterinarian thing doesn’t work out.”
Mac lifted his head and turned to look at him. “But I thought that’s what you wanted?”
Dennis shrugged. “I don’t know; it’s like, the more people insistently push me down this path, the less sure I am that it actually is what I want.”
“Well, what do you want?”
It was a dangerous question, coming from Mac; still, Dennis settled on a safe answer. “To figure it out, I guess.”
“Cheers to that!” Mac offered with an understanding nod as he began to crack open his fifth beer.
Dennis quickly joined him, and they clinked the crinkling foil cans together.
“We're still going to be each other's best friends, right?” Mac asked, his voice a bit quiet as he stared at the blank screen of the turned-off television.
“Well, what about Charlie?” Dennis asked.
“Are you saying Charlie’s your best friend?” Mac inquired with drunken offense.
“Well, isn’t he yours?” He tossed back.
Annoyingly enough, Mac hesitated for a moment before shaking his head. “That’s different, Den. Charlie’s like my brother. We look out for each other; for a long time, we were all each other had, but we still fight like brothers. But, you and I,” He gestured before a flush of embarrassment livened up the rosiness in his cheeks. He quickly let his hand fall. “We’re like the best of buds, like blood brothers.”
Dennis snorted. “That’s an ironic description.”
“No,” Mac shook his head. “You don’t get it. Despite being completely different, we’re still so in sync, that it’s like we have the same blood coursing through our veins, but because we don’t, it’s proof that our friendship is even stronger because, we like, found each other.” He sipped his beer, and his eyes quickly widened as if he’d just heard his own words. “I mean – you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, sure.” He didn’t; Dennis knew that feeling, but he had no idea what it actually meant. “Yeah, sure.” He repeated, and Mac looked at him. “Of course, we’ll still be best friends.”
Mac’s whole face relaxed before a shy grin bloomed across his expression. “So, you won’t forget me?”
Dennis broke out into laughter that definitely made it harder to breathe. Mac shoved his arm. “Don’t make fun of me.”
Dennis took a moment to regulate his breathing, wiping at his eyes, as if the laughter had been the cause of his small tears. “Talk about a stupid question. That’s literally impossible, Mac. I could never forget you.” He released one more brief, humored huff. “Even if I tried.”
“You better not.” Mac said with a slight pout.
He looked so cute like that, and it filled Dennis with a hungry, almost excruciating, ache to watch Mac’s face become flustered with lustful effort as husky moans tore from those pouted lips. Still, Dennis was torn as he blankly looked at the remote on the table. Despite the heat filling his blood, he knew it wasn’t what he really wanted. Sure, it was fun and hot, and it made his heart nearly slam out of his chest to hear Mac’s moans in the background while Dennis touched himself. But he knew that if he started it up, all conversation between them, would immediately stop; he didn’t want that tonight. Dennis couldn’t stand it, if the warm humor and affectionate glances were over for the evening, and consequently, the next three months.
Dennis was forced to push down the petulant entitlement he never could seem to ignore; why did he have to compromise? Why wasn’t he allowed to have every secret side of Mac, when he was right there for the taking? Earnestly affectionate, just within Dennis’ reach.
Again, he still couldn’t comprehend what it meant; he wouldn’t allow himself to wonder why he felt a possessive monopoly over his best friend, but it was forever there, just the same. Suddenly, he realized just how long it had been silent between them. He worried Mac might be irritated by the quiet, but when Dennis looked over, he could see Mac watching him with distracted focus, biting on his lip like he was ruminating on something with all his might.
“What?” Dennis asked in a breathy sigh, quickly latching onto his beer, determined to awkwardly busy himself.
Mac’s eyes widened before he shook his head. “I was just thinking about how much fun you’re going to have without me.”
Absolutely none. Dennis scoffed, causing Mac to look back at him before he gulped the last of his beer. “Please.” He reached out for another. “I have no idea how I’m supposed to connect with Ivy Leaguers.”
Mac snorted as he finished his beer, right behind Dennis. He grabbed his sixth. “You realize you’re an Ivy Leaguer now too, right?”
“Hardly. Everyone there is going to be way more sophisticated than I am.” Dennis belligerently admitted the anxiety he had yet to acknowledge.
“Dude,” Mac nudged his arm. “What are you talking about? You’re like the most sophisticated person I’ve ever met.”
That said very little, even if it meant a great deal to Dennis. Regardless, he didn’t want to point it out, and tease Mac for his less-than-reputable social circle. “Mac it’s different; we’re talking about rich kids.”
Mac laughed out loud with a snarky smirk. “Den, you are a rich kid.”
Dennis hiccupped through a drunken laugh. “No, I’m talking about like, legacy rich kids with prestige and class.”
“Still not seeing the difference, dude.”
Dennis sighed, rolling his eyes. “Please. Look at my family. Frank is a crass scam artist, and Barbara’s just a cruel cocktail of substances. That kind of parentage won’t get me any play. I’ll be competing against people who vacation overseas every summer, people that are worldly and experienced, with European sensibilities.”
Mac’s brows furrowed. “I have absolutely no idea what that means.”
No surprise there; still, in Mac’s defense, they were both nearly six full beers in. “My point, is that I’m just some sheltered middle-class kid by comparison.”
“Well, you may not be worldly.” Mac unpleasantly scrunched up his face. “Or European, but you’re definitely experienced.”
Dennis’ eyes were fixed to Mac’s mouth as he bit his bottom lip. “Not by their standards. Vanilla sex with regrettable women is not something to be smug about.”
“Who cares about some silver-spoon stranger’s standards?” Mac asked in utter apathy.
“I do, Mac. We’re talking about my future peers, dude. What if I don’t fit in?”
Mac paused, setting his beer down to turn and face Dennis, hair falling into his face. He carelessly brushed it back as his warm eyes honed in on him. “Dennis, are you actually nervous?”
“Duh, dude.” He fervently shook his head, grateful that the alcohol was loosening his tongue enough to provide him the opportunity to release his anxiety. “This is going to be like the first day of high school, but like on crack.”
“I guess I get that.” He nodded. “But you dominated in high school, so I seriously doubt you need to worry.”
“I never said I was worried!” The slur in his voice instantly undermined the snap of his tongue. “Only nervous. I just feel like I’ve barely lived at all.”
“Den.” Mac shook his head with a soft, yet heartbreaking smile. “That’s the whole point; it’s college, dude.”
“You only say it like it’s easy, because you don’t have to do it.”
Mac nodded. “Yeah, I definitely couldn’t do it. But you’re different, Den; you’re incredible, charismatic, and honestly, way more smarter than I could ever be.”
Dennis rolled his eyes, biting into his smirk. “I guess I am.” He shrugged. “I mean, obviously.” He nonchalantly sipped on his beer.
“Exactly, dude. So, you’re not the most well-traveled nineteen-year-old in the world; I still think you’re pretty worldly. And though I can’t imagine why you’d want to be, you’re not some snooty European. I can’t really help you with either of those.” He shrugged. “How could you be any more experienced?”
Dennis shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe by being arrested?”
Mac tipped his beer in gesture. “But, then, you might not have gotten into Penn.”
“True.” Dennis nodded. “Well, I’ve only ever drank, and smoked weed; nothing crazy, pretty tame, actually.”
Mac pensively passed for a moment before nodding. “Well, it might take me some time, but I bet I can score you a bit of coke, or maybe E.”
“Seriously?” Dennis’ eyes widened, not even sure that’s what he was searching for. He nearly was thrown back to realize that he was, in fact, searching for something.
“Yeah, dude. I’ve got connections.” Mac sat up a bit taller as he sipped his beer. “What else?”
Dennis shrugged, suddenly feeling bold and brave as he poised his can to his lips. “More sexually adventurous, I guess.” He tipped back the last gulp of his beer, breathing in the sight of an oddly focused, yet flustered Mac.
Mac’s gulp was practically audible. “How so?”
Dennis licked his lip before loudly crushing the empty can in his hand. Mac flinched, and Dennis smugly tossed the can onto the table. “Experimental; you know, seemingly open-minded to new experiences. Some with women,” He suggestively shrugged. “And some, not.” He lifted his brow, intentionally withholding his gaze.
Mac was frozen in his periphery, awkwardly lifting his beer as if he was deeply pondering his next sip. “But, Den, you’re not gay. That’s a sin.”
Dennis stifled the urge to roll his eyes at Mac’s antiquated beliefs. Had he really never wondered what it would feel like if Dennis had reached over during one of their joint jerk off sessions to finish Mac off? Dennis certainly had, sometimes even sitting on his free hand to stop it from lingering into dangerous territory.
He forced a falsely confident scoff. “Of course, I’m not gay, Mac. We both know that, but college is an experimental time, and I already feel a bit behind the curve with my future classmates. I mean, I’ve never even kissed a dude.” He shook his head with a sigh. “Besides, it actually helps with the chicks. If they happen to make the assumption that you’re gay, they’ll be more open and trusting, and honestly, that’s like the hardest step in seduction. After that, all it takes is one drunken night, and ‘wow, what a weird twist of fate’.”
Mac scoffed, shaking his head. “Absolutely diabolical.”
Dennis apathetically shrugged as Mac finally sipped back the rest of his beer. “I’m not beyond manipulation as a means to get what I want.” He wondered if Mac could see, that it was exactly what Dennis was doing right now.
“That’s not news to me.” Mac huffed with a smirk. He tilted his head. “That would really work?”
Dennis shrugged. “Even if a chick doesn’t assume I’m gay, she’d probably think I’m sensitive and open-minded for the brief mention of enlightened experimentation.”
“Well,” Mac’s gaze was fully averted. “What would you consider to be experienced enough?”
Dennis forced an unsure shrug. “I don’t know, a bit of fooling around.”
“But not sex?” Mac asked, glaring at the blank television again as he bit his lip.
“I doubt I need to go that far.” Even if he was tempted from watching Mac nibble on his full bottom lip all damn night long.
“Right.” Mac nodded, robotically reaching over to grab a seventh beer. He opened it, waiting a moment before taking a sip. He shrugged. “I mean, I could do it.”
“What?” Dennis actually hadn’t expected that. He hadn’t even needed to ask. Was Mac that willing, or was he just that good friend; undoubtedly, a thousand times better one than Dennis.
Mac shrugged, but he finally turned to look at Dennis. “I mean, why not someone you know, and trust, right? And look, since you’re not into dudes, it doesn’t matter who the guy is; so, like, the fact that you’re not attracted to me, shouldn’t really hold you back.”
Right. Dennis gulped, even if he wasn’t into dudes, he knew some part of him had to be, because he was painfully attracted to Mac.
His eyes devoured Mac’s undeniable allure, floppy dark hair that looked ridiculously soft, criminally long onyx eyelashes, and mesmerizingly full lips; not to mention those goddamn eyes.
Dennis forced another dry gulp, suddenly feeling stupidly nervous. He snagged Mac’s beer out of his hands, causing him to utter a surprised gasp of offense; almost enough to shatter the moment. Almost. “I mean, yeah; it makes sense when you put it like that.” He gulped at the beer, marveled to see that Mac was actually trying to convince him. Dennis must’ve been more of a master manipulator than he’d realized.
He fixed his heated focus on Mac’s eyes like liquid chocolate. “You would do that?”
Mac swallowed a loaded breath, leaning forward ever-so-slightly. “Of course, Den. If I can make you less stressed about tomorrow, or college in general, I’ll do anything. You’re like, my favorite person.”
His hammering heart caught fire. “Me too.”
“Wow,” Mac snorted. “Narcissistic much?”
Dennis shook his head with a playful laugh. “I mean, you are my favorite person.”
“Really?” Mac asked with a simultaneously shy and elated grin.
Dennis forced down a snort. Who else? “Well, obviously, we’re best friends.”
“Well, as best friends, I propose we fool around.” Dennis’ mouth went dry at Mac’s forwardness. “I mean, you’re not gay, and I’m definitely not gay; so that couldn’t be gay, right?”
“Right.” Dennis nodded, efficiently freeing his hands as he set down the beer on the table. “Definitely not gay, just a random, one-time homosexual experience.”
“Just an experiment.” Mac spoke with a slightly lifted inflection as if it were a question.
“Exactly.” Dennis succinctly nodded, his eyes already intently watching Mac lick his lips.
“So, what,” Mac looked down. “Do we just kiss or something?” His hands fidgeted.
Dennis nodded, nearly thrown off by the erratic tempo of his heart. “That seems like the best place to start.”
He expected a long, drawn-out moment of hesitation, but Mac decided to shock the shit out of him by quickly leaning forward, and pressing his plush lips against Dennis’.
Though they were pleasantly soft, Dennis could sense Mac’s inexperience at that first touch of contact. Usually, if a girl was a bad or uncertain kisser, Dennis would quickly give up, irritated to have wasted his precious time on such pointless pursuits, but with Mac, it felt different, endearing, almost. He didn’t mind mentoring his best friend, molding him to move as Dennis bade him.
Heat was already stirring and sliding south inside Dennis. He moved a bit insistently against Mac’s mouth, slowly persuading it to open.
It still wasn’t enough to be kissing Mac, he had to touch him. That was the point, of course. He reached his hand to cup his cheek, thumb tenderly stroking his cheekbone.
Mac stilled slightly, and Dennis pulled back, keeping his hand in place as he looked at him. When Mac opened his eyes, Dennis could immediately sense frustration bleeding into his dark brown gaze. “Don’t do that.” He softly commanded.
“Don’t do what?” Dennis asked, still watching him, ignoring the unbearable heat of his blood.
“Kiss me like you’re trying to get me to fall in love with you.” There was a breaking scoff in his voice.
Dennis felt his stomach clench, entirely unaware that that is what he’d been doing. Was that really how it felt to Mac? Was that what Dennis wanted? In truth, it didn’t sound like the worst thing in the world.
He forced the thought away. “I only know one way to kiss, Mac. Besides, you could probably stand to learn something from me.”
“Are you saying I’m a bad kisser?” Mac asked with full, though whispered offense.
“Not bad.” He shrugged, eyes hungrily watching Mac’s lips, wanting to taste them again, for as long as he could. “Just gentle.” Heartbreakingly gentle. Frustratingly gentle.
Mac dove in with more fervor this time. Dennis took advantage of his awakened competitive nature by slipping his tongue in, and the most incredible thing happened. Dennis could feel Mac’s moan practically vibrate his tongue, sending shockwaves that reverberated a burning pleasure throughout the entirety of his body.
Dennis easily pushed Mac into the corner of the couch, making a simple job of straddling him. Mac’s moans were barely smothered in his mouth, and each sound sent a spike of aching hunger through Dennis.
It was beyond terrifying, just how effortless and exciting it was to be kissing Mac. Why hadn’t they been doing it for the past four years?
Right. Because this was just an experiment.
Dennis was ready to immediately put an end to it, much too late, and far too soon, until Mac’s arms wrapped around him, holding him even closer. It felt right, as if their bodies were made to move together like this, if only for this one night, when there was an excuse to justify it.
Dennis savored kissing Mac while draped across his lap, allowing his fingers to finally run through his hair, still just barely damp at the ends.
The sound of his labored breathing was the only thing Dennis could hear over his hammering heart. Instinctually, he began grinding against Mac, dryly riding him as their mouths devoured each other. It didn’t take much of that before he could feel Mac start to harden underneath him.
Dennis only had a second for his body to soak in the delectable feeling of friction from Mac’s erection rubbing against his ass, before his friend pulled away ever-so-slightly, arms still wrapped around him.
Reluctantly, Dennis opened his eyes. Mac’s gaze was heartbreaking, so full of fear. He was afraid to acknowledge how it felt, yet, so was Dennis.
“Den,” His voice broke with pained pleading. “I’m not g-”
“I know.” Dennis hummed comfortingly, bringing his hand to cup Mac’s cheek again. “It’s okay. All your body knows, is that you have an ass grinding on your lap; that’s all. It’s natural.” He focused on Mac’s magnetic gaze as he allowed his thumb to softly stroke his bottom lip. Mac slightly shivered into the touch, closing his eyes with a huffed exhale. “It’s okay.” Dennis said again, his voice tender and encouraging before reclaiming Mac’s mouth once more.
Even though Dennis ached for more, some part of him just wanted to stay there, in Mac’s lap, kissing him with enough need to make up for the four years they’d missed of this. Still, Dennis’ need was insatiable, and he was greedy to know how it would feel to make Mac come undone with pleasure. He was starving at the thought of having Mac quiver underneath his touch until the end of time.
Unfortunately, Dennis couldn’t just kiss him forever, possibly never again, after tonight. He allowed himself another minute, or two, or five, to commit the sensation to memory, before reluctantly pulling away; besides, he had no idea how long Mac's dick was going to stay confused and undeniably hard. Honestly, Dennis was a bit surprised it could be roused so quickly, considering the circumstances, drunk with a man riding his lap for a couple of minutes.
Mac did his best to speak through labored breathing, and Dennis wanted to wrap himself up in the husky sound. “Den, this isn’t going to change things, right? We’ll still be best friends after, won’t we?”
The idea of that changing seemed so inherently wrong, that Dennis couldn’t acknowledge his frightened certainty that things had changed, from the second he felt Mac's lips earnestly press against his. Dennis was terrified that he wasn’t drunk enough; something heavy solidified in his stomach with absolute certainty that he would wake up tomorrow, and still remember how intoxicating this felt.
“Of course, Mac.” He gently touched his face. “Blood brothers, remember?” They’d found each other, and that had to mean something.
Mac gave him the sweetest grin, finally wiping the agony from his warm, mahogany eyes. “You’re right.”
Dennis slyly snuck in a chaste kiss before smirking. “I always am.”
“What else?” Mac breathlessly asked, sounding almost eager.
Dennis bit down a smile. “You just lean back and relax.” He looked down as he placed his hand against Mac's chest. His heart was racing so fast, Dennis almost couldn’t make out each individual beat, as they started to blur into the next. Was he excited or afraid? Dennis didn’t want his friend to be fearful; he wanted, he needed Mac to feel good when he was touching him. “If there’s anything you don’t like, just tell me to stop, okay?” He looked up at Mac's excruciatingly lovable face, praying – for the first time in his life – that Mac wouldn’t take the out.
“O-okay.” He sighed. “I can do that.”
“Good.” Dennis gracefully climbed down from his lap, he briefly savored the way Mac's arms fell awkwardly, looking lonely and aimless without Dennis wrapped in them.
Dennis moved to the floor, but before his knees could touch ground, Mac grabbed a pillow from the couch and placed it down. Dennis gave him a shy, grateful smile, realizing he hadn’t even thought of how awful the cold, concrete floor would feel against his bare knees, his thin basketball shorts providing no layer of protection.
Dennis got into a mostly comfortable position before looking up at Mac. He was a magnificent mess, chest heaving with heavy breath, hair messed up in classic ‘just fucked’ style, lips swollen, barely a shade shy of scarlet, face fully flushed, and distracting dark brown eyes, pupils blown out beyond recognition, entirely enraptured as he watched Dennis.
He could feel his own erection at full force, wondering how he hadn’t even noticed it growing before. Dennis licked his lips as he possessively gripped the top of Mac ‘s thighs, grateful that the summer heat had also persuaded him to also wear some easily removable shorts. “You’re sure?” He offered Mac one last chance to escape, desperate for him to refuse.
“Are you?” Mac's labored voice came out with a slight snap, as if Dennis had proposed a game of chicken.
Dennis snorted, wanting to say he wouldn’t have proposed this if he wasn’t. He quickly bit his tongue, remembering that it was Mac who had proposed it, not Dennis, though this was undoubtedly, what he’d been fishing for. “I’m the one who needs the experience, remember?” He teased slightly as his thumbs hooked under the waistband of Mac’s shorts. Much to Dennis' pleasure, he quivered under the touch. He slipped them down easily, recognizing the way Mac wordlessly hitched up his hips in assistance.
Dennis allowed his hands to run up Mac's bare thighs, biting on his lip as his gaze focused on the little wet spot of precum that had darkened Mac's light gray boxer-briefs. Well, at least, Dennis knew he was good at what he was doing, even if it felt like he hadn’t done much of anything; an issue he was aching to immediately remedy. He ran his hands up Mac's thighs once more. The object of his attention leaned his head back, releasing a steady, almost sobering sigh. Dennis gripped at the final barrier of fabric, dragging it down the length of his legs.
Mac wasn’t quiet the second time he lifted his hips. “I mean, it’s not like it’s that big a difference.” His boxer-briefs fell around his ankles, and Dennis licked his lips in wonder. Mac was too busy looking up at the ceiling, his voice taking on that nervous, rambling tone that used to make Dennis uneasy, for him to even notice the hunger in his eyes. “It'll be just like when we jerk off together.” Mac clumsily broke their unspoken rule as Dennis tentatively gripped his dick. He moaned a little as he continued, eyes still fused to the ceiling. “Only this time, it'll be your hand stroking my-" A surprised whine tore out of his mouth as Dennis licked up the length of his dick. “Fuck, Den.” He cried, whipping his head back to him. “What are you-" He huffed as Dennis slowly took him into his mouth. “I didn’t think you were going to do this. Fuck, Den.” He moaned in repetition.
Dennis pulled off him with a forced smirk, ignoring how painfully hard he was getting. He wondered if he could cum just from the husky way Mac was moaning his name. “It'd hardly be a new experience. I already know how to stroke my own dick. I'm trying to learn something new here, Mac.” The smirk became genuine as he watched his friend squirm with almost angry anticipation. “What’s wrong, Mac? Don’t you like it?”
Mac huffed, not quite meeting his eyes. “Don’t make me answer that.”
Fair enough. He was about to dip back down when Mac gently combed his hand through Dennis’ hair, eyes tender and unforgettable. “It felt good.” He huffed again, with a small and surprising smile. “Really fucking good, Den.”
Dennis’ chest ached, and it took every ounce of strength to nonchalantly roll his eyes. “I haven’t even started yet.” He teased.
“Then, get to it, College Boy.” Mac managed to tease back.
Dennis wanted to return with a jibe but couldn’t deny that Mac’s impatient retort turned him on. “That desperate to have my mouth on your cock again?” He, of course, didn’t give Mac the opportunity to answer with anything but a moan as Dennis eagerly resumed sucking his dick.
It was a new and staggeringly intense sensation, tasting Mac’s throbbing flesh. He started slow, not quite ready to attempt the daunting task of taking Mac to the back of his throat, despite his desire to. He allowed his tongue to swirl around the head, surprised to find himself thirstily licking up the salty taste of Mac’s leaking dick.
Was Dennis supposed to be enjoying this? Surely, a little enjoyment was necessary to make it a pleasurable experience for Mac. Still, he knew he couldn’t honestly consider his own aching hard-on to be for Mac’s benefit.
Mac deeply moaned, his hand gripping Dennis’ curls. He almost immediately let go, and Dennis missed the encouragement. “Shit, sorry, Den. I didn’t mean to-”
He pulled off again, a bit impatient as he huffed. “Don’t apologize.” Dennis exhaled. “I didn’t mind it.” Mac’s eyes widened, and Dennis forced a shrug. “I like having my hair played with and pulled on.”
“Cool.” He awkwardly replied.
Dennis was almost afraid the moment might be shattered, so he took Mac in a bit deeper into his mouth. His fingers tugged into the roots of Dennis’ curls with more intention this time.
Dennis moaned in response, fervently bobbing as he began to hollow out his cheeks, sucking on Mac’s dick like that would be the key to his salvation.
“Fuck, Den.” He huskily hummed. “You’re so fucking good at this. Your mouth feels amazing.” He huffed, trying to find his breath. “I would’ve never guessed you’d never done this before.”
Dennis could get drunk off Mac’s validation, especially now that it was solely centered around his ability to suck his dick. Moaning, Dennis decided to take Mac even further. His best friend was devolving into a noisy mess. Thank God there were two floors between them, and the only other person in the house.
Mac’s whine morphed into something that almost sounded like a choked sob as Dennis bottomed out. Once Mac hit the back of Dennis’ throat, he opened his eyes with an internal smirk to realize that Mac had trimmed his pubes. Dennis thought of his wet, freshly-showered hair, remembered all of his furtive glances to the blank television earlier; had he done it for Dennis, realizing he'd be showing up by himself, thinking about how he might notice, once they pulled their dicks out, as they were now wont to do whenever left alone in the basement together late at night. Had he wanted Dennis to notice; despite their ‘no outright looking’ rule, Dennis had snuck a few discreet glances before. Did Mac know? Did he like the idea of Dennis watching him? The thought was like a thunderous lightning bolt sent straight to Dennis’ dick. He shot his gaze upward to find Mac’s eyes locked on him like he was the only thing in existence.
It fueled the fire in Dennis, making him stubbornly determined to give Mac the best orgasm of his entire life, even better than the ones he would have in the future; all to be shared with people that weren’t Dennis. No, he couldn’t marinate on that thought now. He needed no more weight on his mind, far too preoccupied with the one on his tongue.
He gripped into Mac’s thighs so tightly, that his blunt and perfectly manicured nailbeds were clawing into his flesh. Luckily, Mac seemed to like that quite a bit, causing his breath to pitch and drop, every sound more mind-blowing than the last.
Suddenly, the sounds became muffled. Dennis returned his gaze upward. Mac was biting down on his lip with such desperation, that Dennis didn’t doubt he was ridiculously close to tearing through skin, eyes still latched to Dennis with burning and intimate intensity.
It was too much for Dennis, and his own agonizing erection. He released one of Mac’s legs, to finally massage himself over his shorts. He could identify the exact second Mac caught onto his multitasking, because he hissed in pain, as if he’d actually punctured his bottom lip, before throwing his empty hand over his mouth to safely muzzle his own noise.
Dennis would’ve smirked if he was able, instead, he slipped his hand into his shorts. Unfortunately, he was still six beers in, and not fully capable of effortlessly coordinating both tasks. Still, Dennis didn’t mind if he had to take a backseat by clumsily playing with himself while prioritizing Mac’s pleasure. There was something so hot about keeping their fixed eye contact as Dennis stroked his own dick while sucking Mac’s. Mac dropped his hand from his mouth and moaned. “God Den.”
It was almost like a drug, owning and controlling the moment, knowing he could make it as sweet or as sour as he saw fit. In Dennis’ nineteen years of life, he’d never expected that the most powerful he’d ever feel would come from having a dick in his mouth, Mac’s dick, specifically. Dennis was the goddamn king of the world when Mac looked at him like that; no, he was a God, golden and gorgeous as Mac choked on his name in an awe-stricken cry of praise, utterly tainting the moniker in a way that made Dennis worthy of worship. He could feel himself leaking, pleasantly lubricating his own hand. Still, he felt bold and divinely invincible, so he ultimately decided it wasn’t enough for him.
Dennis leaned up, licking Mac as he slid down his own shorts. He took the hand that had just been on his own dick, and stroked Mac for a moment, before spitting into it, and returning to his own as he lowered his mouth around Mac again. He continued to stroke himself as he felt Mac begin to quiver.
Not yet. He eased up, loving the wide and enthralled eyes watching him. Even if Mac couldn’t see it, it was made abundantly clear that Dennis was enjoying himself.
A successful experiment indeed, especially if it meant learning that some part of Mac was turned on at the thought of Dennis genuinely getting off on this. Maybe there was a mutual attraction, after all.
Why did Dennis have to figure this out 12 hours before he was supposed to be leaving? He prayed – for the second time in his life – that Mac would think of nothing but this night, for the next three months. Dennis knew he certainly would.
He decided to do his best to make sure Mac would. He was louder, making sloppy sounds whenever he pulled off Mac, immediately sheathing him back in his mouth, down to the hilt. “Fuck, Den. I love how you do that.” He gripped his hair even tighter, thrusting ever-so-slightly. Dennis forgot about touching himself, solely focusing on Mac.
Dennis could see and feel the muscles in Mac’s thighs clenching, and knew it was a matter of seconds. “Shit, Den. Fuck, I’m gonna-” His breathing choked as Dennis practically stabbed Mac’s dick into the back of his throat.
Mac said nothing else, and within a couple of seconds, he was crying out while cumming straight down his throat. For his own safety, Dennis pulled off slightly before he’d gag. After a moment, he was finally able to refrain from choking as he swallowed what remained in his mouth.
There was a moment of almost silence as their heavy breaths echoed in the space of the basement. Mac was no longer looking at Dennis, but the ceiling.
Dennis stayed quiet, deciding that he was just resting his insanely sore jaw, and not because he was completely unsure what to say, for the first time in his life.
Once he caught his breath, Mac cleared his throat, still not looking at him. “So, since that was just for the experience, there’s no need for us to mention it after tonight, right?”
Dennis’ chest painfully clenched; still, ever the performer, he forced out a snort. At least, it finally convinced Mac to look at him again. “Why would we?”
“Exactly.” Mac sighed. “I mean, we’re not gay.”
“Right.” Dennis leaned back. “Definitely not.”
Mac took notice of Dennis’ still hard, if not slightly dejected dick. “Oh, dude, you didn’t – um,” He cut himself off, awkwardly rubbing his neck, like some shy, inexperienced eighteen-year-old, as if his dick wasn’t completely out in the space between them. “That doesn’t really seem fair.”
Dennis shrugged, noticing that Mac’s eyes were still on his erection, making it utterly impossible for it to not perk up a little bit. “No, you just seemed so close, dude.” He pushed out, feigning nonchalance. “I figured it was the least I could do to just focus on getting you off.” For some idiotic reason, he felt like he might be blushing.
“Well, then I should return the favor.” Mac said in his most reasonable tone, the one he used whenever he was desperate to get Dennis to agree with him during a gang argument.
“What?” He nearly choked on the word.
“How come you should be the only to gain experience from this experiment?” Mac argued, sincerely competitive in a way that made Dennis want to smirk. “What, because I’m not going to college, you don’t think I’m good enough to suck your dick?”
It twitched at that, and Dennis knew that he would be willing to beg, if that was suddenly a possibility. “But, Mac, you’re not gay or worldly.” Somehow, that had been the perfect thing to say.
Mac narrowed his gaze on him as he leaned forward. “But I’m not selfish, either.” He gripped Dennis’ shirt, and yanked him from unsteady knees onto the couch directly beside him. Dennis yelped slightly; certain his erection wouldn’t go away until Mac followed through on his promise.
In a moment, Mac was on the ground in front of him, sliding the pillow beneath his own knees. He looked at Dennis. “Tell me you don’t want me to.”
Dennis squirmed on the inside. He wanted him to so badly, that he’d stopped breathing. After a second, he pushed out a sigh. “I mean, I obviously am in a bit of pain, and a bit curious.”
Mac lifted his brow with a smirk. “Me too.” He didn’t hesitate at the prospect. He was quick to get his mouth on Dennis, and he wouldn’t stop him, even if he could save himself the knowledge of how Mac would feel.
Mac was hurried to get there but gentle in his touch, lips around the head, briefly hesitant before massaging his tongue into it. Dennis whined slightly, causing Mac to smirk. He pumped Dennis’ shaft with his hand as he slowly eased him further into his mouth. “Fuck.” Dennis practically growled, the sound hitching up when he felt Mac’s free hand start rubbing his balls. Shit. Dennis knew he wouldn’t last half as long as Mac did. Even if his inexperience was obvious, there was an eager thoroughness Dennis couldn’t help but genuinely appreciate.
Mac’s eyes were firmly shut, and Dennis marveled, maybe for the millionth time, at the fullness and length of his eyelashes. It didn’t seem fair. Mac put so little effort in his appearance, and if anything, it gave him an unfair advantage.
Mac took him in even further, and Dennis’ brain short-circuited as he moaned praise. “That’s right; just like that. You’re being so fucking good to me, Mac.”
His mouth moaned around his dick, and Dennis gently rubbed at Mac’s forearms, feeling the muscles tense with his continued movements. He huffed in between words. “Doing such a good job. Fuck, Mac.” Boy did he want to, but he knew he’d be utterly spent before too long.
Mac continued moaning, removing his hand to grip at Dennis’ waist until he was leaving claw marks.
“Mac, look at me.” He pleaded, almost nakedly insistent. He graciously obeyed, and Dennis was on the edge of melting under his burning brown gaze.
Dennis bit his lip as he forced himself to breathe, desperate to sound as steady and snarky as he could, needing to regain any control in his grasp. He pulled at Mac’s hair gently, mainly for dramatic effect. “I’m about to bust, baby boy. Think you can handle it?” He condescended a bit more. “A load is a big thing to swallow.” Straight Boy, Dennis wanted to mockingly add.
Mac pulled away for a split second, merely to locate and grab their shared seventh, half-empty beer, that Dennis had set on the table. It seemed like a waste to spit Dennis’ cum into a perfectly drinkable beer. Still, he’d gotten a lot more out of the eve of his move, than he could’ve ever imagined; he could stand to waste half a beer.
He cared even less as Mac’s mouth returned like a warm and velvety sleeve around his dick. Mac leaned into Dennis’ hand still in his hair. He tugged slightly, and Mac rewarded him with a moan as he fervently bobbed his head. Within a second, Dennis came with Mac’s mouth around the head of his dick, groaning in a desperately whispered whimper. “Mac, fuck.” In an instant, everything felt warm and soft.
Mac pulled off him, sitting up and grasping the can of beer. His Adam’s Apple bobbed as he swallowed his mouthful before sipping back some beer, like he was chasing a shot.
Dennis actually snorted a genuine laugh before steadying his breath. “Smart thinking. You may not be Ivy League bound, but I didn’t think of that.” Mac smirked, and Dennis reached for the beer. “Share in the wisdom.” Mac let him take it. Still, Dennis really hadn’t minded the taste as much as he’d expected to.
Mac wiped his mouth with a cocky grin. “That’s what we call street-smarts.”
“Sure.” Dennis snorted again.
“Move over.” Mac said, bracing his hand on the couch as he slipped his shorts back on before standing. “My knees are killing me.”
Dennis swore he could almost see the slightest bulge before he got comfortable on the couch. He wondered if he’d had the chance to get completely flaccid again. He couldn’t have been down there very long, certainly not long enough, to get hard again, not while drunk with his mouth around Dennis’ dick.
Dennis must’ve been overthinking because Mac seemed surprisingly unfazed, albeit undeniably flushed from effort. Dennis scoffed, slightly irritated. “You were barely down there.”
“True.” Mac nodded, acting like the smug winner of their experience.
“Oh, please,” Dennis rolled his eyes, managing as much grace possible as he pulled his bottoms back on. “You were given a half-finished project; I had to start from scratch.”
“Okay, fair.” Mac said, still not dropping his smirk as he snagged the can from Dennis’ hand.
Dennis openly watched him gulp, his mind reeling at the contents of the last hour or so. How were they slipping into easy conversation, as if they hadn’t just bore witness to some cataclysmic event, or miracle; Dennis wasn’t sure which. Probably both.
“So,” Mac cleared his throat. “Do, you, um, feel a bit less stressed about tomorrow?”
Dennis looked forward, narrowing his gaze on the blank television, not quite ready to gloss over it all. “It’s kind of impossible to feel stressed after getting a blowjob to completion.” He turned and looked back at Mac. “Don’t you agree?”
Mac averted his eyes as he briefly sipped the beer. “Um, yeah. It’s not every day an experiment ends with an orgasm.” He awkwardly answered.
“Right.” Dennis nodded, suddenly feeling uncomfortable in his skin, as if it had tightened around him, suffocating his entire body. “Just one less thing to think about.” Yet, Dennis couldn’t imagine that he would ever be able to stop thinking about it.
Mac nodded, still looking straight ahead. “And it really wasn’t that big a deal. I mean,” He huffed slightly with an almost furrowed brow. “It’s not like we had sex.”
Dennis wanted to agree, but in truth, it was the first time in his life that he’d briefly experienced that moment of afterglow; if that didn’t count as sex, what did? Dennis forced himself to nod. “Yeah, well, even for the sake of an experiment, fucking your friends is never really a good idea.”
Mac finally looked back over to him. “Yeah, but we didn’t; so, we’ll be fine, right?” His warm, brown eyes and shaking voice were gently pleading.
Dennis wanted to deny him, he wanted to state the undeniable truth that they had fucked things up. How was Dennis ever supposed to forget how soft Mac’s lips felt, how he could tease Dennis with his tentative tongue, how Mac’s collapsing voice sounded moaning his name?
He suddenly felt trapped by the painful proximity. Why had he wanted this enough to foolishly hope some switch could be flipped inside Mac’s head, despite knowing it was utterly impossible? Mac didn’t want this, even if he’d put in a good show; he wanted nothing from Dennis, beyond simple friendship. He was Mac’s favorite person, and suddenly, that wasn’t enough.
Dennis swallowed back a thick breath. “Yeah, we’re totally fine. All good, here.” He lied through his teeth.
Maybe the next three months of space would do him some good; maybe he could reach a place where he distracted himself enough to push down these feelings. Maybe he could return home with his brain completely reset, so when he’d see Mac again, they could revert to their easy friendship; maybe, just maybe, Dennis could move forward, now that he knew for sure that the tension between them would never feel fulfilled. This would never happen again.
“So, um,” Mac awkwardly cleared his throat. “Did you maybe want to watch a movie or something?”
Dennis wanted to rip the beer can out of his hands to throw at Mac’s head. He glanced at the clock, grateful that they’d already slipped into the wee hours of the morning. He ached to get as far away from Mac as physically possible. “I don’t know, dude.” He said a bit pointed. “It’s pretty late. I should probably-” He made a move to get up, but Mac’s empty hand grabbed at his wrist.
“Wait. Can’t we just hang out a little bit longer?” He was giving Dennis those undeniable puppy-dog eyes. Completely unfair. “I mean, you’re leaving tomorrow.”
Dennis averted his gaze, looking back at the clock. “Well, today, technically.”
“All the more reason.” Mac gently argued. “Please?”
Dennis could clearly identify the fear in his lost eyes. He was afraid of him leaving so soon after what they’d just done; his expression was achingly anxious, as if he needed reassurance that they could bounce back quick enough to easily prove that they were, in fact, fine.
Dennis wanted to leave him in the lurch; he wanted to hurt Mac, but still, some selfish piece of him wasn’t ready to leave him for the next three months, something he’d been dreading for the past three.
He heaved a heavy sigh. “Fine, but I’m tired, so I’m laying down.” He settled in, his legs pushing at Mac.
To his surprise, Mac joined him. “Me, too.”
They laid side-by-side, the edge of Mac’s shoulder precariously hanging off the ledge. Looking up at the ceiling, Mac launched into all the things he wouldn’t miss about school, offering Dennis sympathy for the fact that he wasn’t out of the woods yet. Dennis rolled his eyes, and teased back that school wasn’t hard for him.
Before long, Dennis was laughing fondly at Mac’s idiocy, eyes closed, feeling his broken heart finally begin to settle, not knowing that once he woke up in the morning, it would solidify into something harder than stone.
Though he hadn’t meant to, it was effortless how quickly he fell asleep on the couch, Mac right beside him. Even though Dennis didn’t stir in the slightest, he could sense the exact moment Mac had turned, wrapping himself around his side.
Dennis finally awoke to the sound of Dee’s heavy clomping and graceless shouting from the kitchen, upstairs. He opened his eyes to see Mac’s face right beside him, arm easily draped over his chest. It filled him with excruciating regret; he wouldn’t have allowed last night to happen, if he would’ve known that he would be the only one affected by it.
Dennis brushed a few, fluffy strands of Mac’s hair out of his face, his voice a vicious whisper. “I’ll never forgive you, for this.” Even if he couldn’t bring it up for the rest of their lives, Dennis knew he could never forgive the one night he’d never be able to forget.
Mac whimpered slightly in his sleep. Not even a second later, the basement door was being loudly thrown open. Dennis quickly sat up, and deposited himself into the opposite corner of the couch, intentionally kicking Mac’s feet to the floor in the movement. He sat up as Dee was stomping her way down the stairs. “Dennis?”
“Yeah?” He answered, his eyes meeting with Mac’s for the briefest of seconds before glancing his sister’s way as she came into view.
She took notice of them sitting on opposite sides of the couch. Even if Dennis might’ve appeared awake and awkwardly alert, the genuine sleepiness of Mac’s voice as he rubbed his eyes, was enough to stave off any suspicion. Just two friends who passed out on a couch of late-night drinking, nothing unusual about that. “Dee? What time is it?”
“Half-passed ten.” She looked at the table littered with beer cans. “Jesus. How long did you guys stay up? There’s like 13 beers here.”
“We can count, Dee.” Dennis snorted.
“Impressive, even if you clearly can’t tell time. You said we were going to start packing up the car now, but you weren’t in your room.”
“I tried to head back up, but Mac made me stay and talk.” Dennis instantly threw him under the bus, smirking as he noticed his friend glaring at him out of his periphery. “He’s going to be absolutely lost without me.”
Mac scoffed, sitting up with irritation. “Fuck you, dude.”
Would you like to? Dennis almost shouted back in response. “That’s good, Mac.” Dennis patronizingly oozed. “Establish a way to cope now, so you don’t cry when I leave.” He glared at him a little harder, and Dennis just laughed.
“Uh-huh.” Dee said with a bored flip of her hair. “Well, since you both are cranky, I guess it’s a good thing we’ve got coffee and donuts upstairs. Hurry up; we’re already running behind.”
Dennis scoffed as he stood and stretched. “Please, I bet you finished packing only eight hours ago.” He accused.
“Six, actually.” She smirked. “But I still was up and ready on time. Let’s go.”
The doorbell chimed from upstairs, and Dee looked back, a bit annoyed. Mac jumped up from the couch. “Shit.” He ran a hand through his ridiculously messy hair. “That’s probably Charlie.”
For the briefest of seconds, Dennis could see a flash of emotions cross Mac’s eyes; worry, fear, and worst of all, shame. Dee couldn’t see it; no one studied Mac’s eyes with such dedication as Dennis did.
Well, fuck Mac.
“Cool.” Dennis nodded. “Missed him last night. He could’ve kept things from turning into a bummer.” He could see Mac’s expression out of the corner of his eyes, but he coldly ignored it as he turned for the stairs, easily pushing passed Dee. “I could really use that coffee. Let me down a cup, and then, I’ll be ready to start moving shit.” She scoffed, and he barely glanced back her way, acting as if he’d forgotten Mac was there. “Hey!” Dennis barked slightly, and they both jumped. Good; everyone remembered who was in control: Dennis. He was the unbreakable authority.
He kept his tone sharp. “I need to wake up. I slept like shit last night. It was like a nightmare.” Mac flinched again. Dennis waited to smirk until he was making his way back up the steps.
Charlie was cheerful once Dennis brought him to the kitchen where the others were waiting. Dee sat at a stool, picking at her donut. Mac stood at the kitchen island, quickly offering Dennis a cup of coffee.
“Thanks.” He muttered, taking it before deciding to stand beside Charlie. He took a sip; a splash of nonfat milk and one sweet ‘n low, the way he always took it, after a night of moderate drinking.
“Did you sleep well, Charlie?” Mac asked. “You were like a log when I left you.”
Charlie nodded. “Yeah, I only woke up for a bit around two. I thought about heading over, but figured it’d be too late.”
Dennis quietly snorted into a sip. That had to have been about the time Mac’s mouth was wrapped around his dick. Regardless of his regret, Dennis was grateful Charlie hadn’t showed up; then Dennis wouldn’t be able to forgive either of his friends.
He gave Charlie a small smile when he leaned over and grabbed a pink, sprinkle donut. It morphed into a humored grin as he watched his sloppy friend immediately make a mess of it.
“Well, I’m glad you decided to still come.” Mac offered.
“Yeah.” Dennis nodded, nudging him. “Thanks, Charlie.”
“No problem.” He nodded with a mouthful. “I wouldn’t miss it. Still, I got to ask. Is there any booze? The last thing I need is coffee. I got like fourteen hours of sleep last night. Dinner with Mom and Uncle Jack really drained me, I guess.” He shrugged.
Dennis shook his head from the uncomfortable direction of his thoughts. “Um, yeah. There should be some beer in the basement, but I left it out on the table, so I’m not sure if it’ll still be cold.”
Dee shook her head. “Are you kidding; it’s freezing down there. Trust me; they’ll still be cold.”
That caused Dennis to pause. She was right. It was always cold in the basement, and yet, despite pronouncing the contrary, he’d slept soundly, as if there had been a furnace right beside him. Mac. Of course, he always ran staggeringly hot, as if he could store heat in his bone marrow, the exact opposite of Dennis; warmth left his lean frame faster than it could settle.
“I’ll get it.” Mac quickly offered, his eyes barely grazing over Dennis’, before he hurried off.
Dennis blandly looked at his coffee while Dee and Charlie congenially chatted with each other, neither taking notice of his uncomfortable silence.
Mac was trying to get on his good side, despite having done nothing wrong. Dennis had only been searching for the singular experience, and he was the one that had wanted more; still, even if it wasn’t Mac’s fault, Dennis blamed him. He blamed him for giving him the most stupefying and satisfying sexual experience of Dennis’ life.
Thus far. He reminded himself. College was merely a few hours off. He’d have plenty of chances to wipe away the memory of his brief, though intimate indulgence with Mac. Just some one-time experiment.
He sighed before gulping some coffee down. Mac came back a moment later, already sipping on a beer, immediately heading towards the others.
Dennis looked at the donut selection and wrinkled his nose. He checked the fruit bowl on the counter, only to find two bruised apples and one ripe banana. He favored the latter.
It took all of two seconds for Dennis to peel it, and immediately feel burning brown eyes on him. He pretended he didn’t notice, taking slightly too large and slow a bite. After swallowing it down, he licked the edge of his lip, meeting Mac’s frozen stare, mouth not quite ajar, but ever-so-slightly parted. “What’s wrong, Mac?” Dennis said loud enough to get all eyes on his blood brother (more like blowjob brother). He swallowed a snort. “Sorry, if you wanted this.” He gestured with the phallic-shaped fruit. “But it was the last one.” He took another bite with a smirk.
Mac took a sip of his beer with a snort. “Please. Fruit or donut?” He snagged a chocolate bar, taking a smug bite, grimacing almost immediately, as if finally realizing what a bad combination beer and donuts made. He refrained from returning to his drink, favoring the breakfast pastry.
Within a minute, chocolate was coating Mac’s mouth. Dennis felt his blood spike with frustration when he began sloppily licking his lips.
Dennis couldn’t stop himself from tossing his peel, grabbing some napkins, wetting them at the sink, and letting himself at Mac’s messy face. “Jesus Christ, you’re a slob.” He wiped him clean.
“Dennis, what the hell?”
He could feel eyes on him, but luckily Charlie, who was beside him, was even messier, pink frosting smeared all over. He seamlessly turned his attention on their other friend, wiping him down too, for good measure.
“Dude!”
Dennis scoffed. “The both of you are so sloppy.” He looked over at his sister. “They’ll have ringworm again by the time I get back.”
“Shut up, dude.” Charlie huffed. “I can clean my own face.” He wiped at his mouth with the sleeve of his jacket. Dennis rolled his eyes. Hopeless. “Are you ready, yet?” He challenged Dennis.
Surprisingly enough, he appreciated Charlie’s impatience. Dennis was so ready to be on the fucking road already, putting space between him and Mac with his foot floored on the gas. “Yeah, Charlie.” He addressed everyone. “Guys, grab a beer, and let’s get to it.”
He refrained as Dee and Charlie raced up the stairs, thinking that the last thing he could handle was that taste in his mouth, longingly recalling the flavor that had come before it. Jesus, he needed to brush his teeth, and his tongue, gums, the walls of his mouth, even his throat.
Before he could get to the stairs, Mac gently yanked him back by the wrist. “Den, are you mad at me?”
Even if he could avoid looking in his eyes, the sincere worry was unavoidable in his earnest voice.
Dennis scoffed. “Why would I be mad at you, dude?”
Mac shrunk slightly, avoiding his stare as he fidgeted. “I don’t know, you just seem upset, and I was thinking that maybe, last night-”
“Was something we both agreed to not talk about.” Dennis said, his voice steadier than he’d ever sounded before.
“Yeah, no, totally.” He scratched the back of his neck. “It’s just, we said it wouldn’t change things, and I just want to make sure that we’re good?”
Dennis exhaled sharply out of his nose. “Honestly, Mac, if you knew you were going to make such an awkward and big deal about it, you shouldn’t have offered.” He reminded, before easily pulling his arm back, as Mac’s face fell. He ascended a few steps before looking back. “I’m just busting your balls a bit, for old time’s sake. No need to get totally butt-hurt about it.” He nudged his head upward. “Come on; we’ve got work to do.” He decisively headed up the stairs, certain Mac was no less than one step behind him, that unbearable body-heat wafting against his back.
It was easier to act normal when they were back with the rest of the gang. Unfortunately, there was quite a bit of work to be done, lugging more than a dozen boxes, a couple lamps and some small shelves down the stairs, and into Dennis’ car. Still, even if the work was exhausting, it didn’t take very long, split evenly between the four of them.
The last thing in Dennis’ room was his totally badass ten-inch-screen T.V.-VCR that he’d bought specifically for his dorm. Even if it wasn’t very wide, it was incredibly deep, practically a misshapen square from its protruding back. His grip slipped, and warm hands instantly reached out to steady it. It shouldn’t have surprised Dennis that Mac was right there; still, after how shitty he’d been acting, he would’ve expected Mac to let it drop, possibly crushing Dennis’ foot. That’s what he would’ve done, in his shoes.
“Shit, Den. It’d probably be better if we both take this down the stairs.”
Dennis shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “Sure; whatever.” He didn’t want to break his brand-new T.V. after all. They made their way down the stairs a bit slower than necessary. Neither one said anything when Mac’s fingers barely slipped over Dennis’ as he shifted while walking backwards down the steps. For the briefest second, Dennis wanted to shove the T.V. onto Mac until he stumbled under the weight down onto the ground, maybe even cracking his stupid, thick skull.
The thought was too bitter to be anything more than a passing impulse.
Once they got to the bottom, Mac tried to take on the weight. “Let me take it the rest of the way. I got it.” He sweetly smirked.
Fuck. Dennis was going to miss him so much, that he was already aching from the loss. “Thanks.” He offered, allowing the weight to slip from his hands.
Mac’s smile turned into a cheesy grin, lighting up his eyes. “No problem, Den.”
Beautiful asshole. Dennis just nodded, watching him go. After a minute, he decided to head back up to grab his toiletry bag from the bathroom, his last item to pack.
Once he was done closing up the car, he headed back in to find Dee and Charlie standing around the kitchen island.
“You guys don’t have to leave right this second, do you?”
Dennis looked at Dee; she seemed to soften under Charlie’s sincerity. “I’m sure we could hangout for half an hour or so; right, Dennis?”
He sighed with a nod. “Sure; hey, where is Mac?”
“Dunno.” Dee shrugged. “Come on, Charlie; let’s have cigarette and another beer on the back porch.”
“Okay,” He snagged two cans and followed her out.
Dennis exhaled, taking an easy guess where Mac was; he headed up the stairs to his room.
Mac looked so small in the large and practically barren room. “Hey.” Dennis softly said. Mac turned around, his naked eyes looking utterly lost. Dennis’ chest ached with an impulse to hug him. “You okay?”
“Yeah.” Mac nodded, forcing an expression of feigned nonchalance. “It’s just,” He looked back at the room. “So empty.”
“That’s kind of the point of moving.” Dennis gently teased.
“I know, I just…” He went quiet when he looked back at Dennis.
“I know.” Dennis stepped forward, softly patting Mac’s shoulder. “I’m going to miss you too.”
Mac’s eyes filled with warm relief, but he scoffed. “You’re not really acting like it.”
Dennis shrugged, not looking at him, acting much too preoccupied with his empty room as he answered. “Because it’s easier that way.”
“Maybe for you.”
Dennis nodded, not able to argue. He already knew he’d miss Mac much worse than he’d miss him. After last night, he’d become painfully aware of just how much he ached for the oblivious idiot before him. “It’s just three months.” He finally answered.
“And I’m sure you’ll be too busy with school, and making new friends to notice.” Mac’s tone was unabashedly bitter.
“I won’t forget you.” Dennis assured, turning his gaze downward. “I’ll already told you that last night.” Out of Dennis’ periphery, he could see Mac fidget at the vague mention of the night they could never openly acknowledge. Dennis awkwardly cleared his throat. “It’ll be over before you know it.” He nudged his head from the direction he’d come. “Come on, let’s go join the others on the back porch.”
Mac nodded. “Okay.”
They made their way down in complete silence. These next three months were likely to save Dennis. He wanted to be able to come home, and for it to not hurt when he looked at Mac, his best friend, knowing that was all he could ever be. More than anything, Dennis wanted to return and feel absolutely nothing, to smile at his own foolishness for feeling the way he did now, as if what he wanted right now – just to kiss Mac – was nothing more than a silly, passing impulse.
Charlie and Dee were surprisingly jovial when Mac and Dennis joined them outside. His sister was taking a long, final drag of her cigarette before stubbing it out in an ashtray.
Charlie looked back at them with a smirk. “Mac, please tell me you’re holding.”
He patted his pockets. “Uh, yeah. I’ve got a joint in here.” He pulled out an old pack of cigarettes (one of his mother’s, no doubt), sitting down beside Charlie on the stoop as he pulled out the sole joint.
“Damn, Mac.” Dennis said as he sat next to him. “You were holding out on me.”
His friend looked a bit guilty, briefly blushing. “I forgot.” He put the joint between his lips, quickly lighting it. He took a deep hit, holding it in as he shrugged, voice slightly pinched. “I’d say the beers got us fucked up enough.” He blew out the smoke and passed the joint to Charlie.
Dennis blankly nodded. “That they did.” Charlie took a hit, offering it to Dee.
Finally, it came back to Mac. He took another large hit, and almost passed it back to Charlie before Dennis elbowed him. “Dude.”
“What?” Mac shrugged, wearing an innocent expression that Dennis wasn’t sure was entirely sincere. “You’re driving.”
Dennis scoffed in offense. “And I haven’t had a drop to drink; I think I can handle one hit for the road.” He expectantly held out his hand. “Don’t be stingy, dude.”
“Ugh, fine.” Mac easily plugged the pout of Dennis’ mouth with the joint, his thumb brushing against his bottom lip. “Anything to stop the nagging.” He teased. Dennis hid his shiver by snagging the half-sized joint into his grip, burning his finger as he inhaled. “I doubt you can handle it.”
Out of sheer spite, Dennis held the smoke in his lungs for a moment too long. Unfortunately, he ran out of willpower, nearly hacking out a lung after he exhaled.
“Told ya.” Mac taunted as he snagged it back, and they all started to giggle in a synchronized stoned silliness at Dennis’ expense. He took a small hit. “Charlie?”
Dennis finally caught his breath as he nudged Mac. “Fuck off, dude.”
“Actually,” Mac grabbed the somehow still-smoking stub from Charlie, and took one long hit until it resembled the smallest roach Dennis had ever seen. “That’s your job.” He nudged Charlie. “Fucking off to Penn, like a bunch of fancy-pants.” He put it out in the ashtray.
Dee snorted. “You’re just mad Dennis can’t take you on account of the ‘No Pets in the Dorms’ rule.”
Mac flipped her off while Charlie and Dennis laughed along with her. “School you have to pay a shit-ton of money for, doesn’t sound like my idea of a good time.”
“School isn’t a good time, period.” Charlie chimed in. “Thank God, that’s over and done with.” He tipped back his beer.
Mac shook his head, eyes pensive. “Four years, went by way too fast.”
“So, three months should feel like nothing.” Dennis stood, distractedly wiping off the back of his shorts. “Right?”
“Sure.” Mac said turning his head in Dennis’ direction, though he didn’t meet his eyes. “Like nothing.” He muttered.
Charlie comfortingly patted Mac’s back. “Yeah, it’ll be over before we know it, and then, a month later, Winter Break.”
“That’s true.” Mac nodded, finally looking back at Dennis. “You’ll be back home in no time.”
Dennis couldn’t help but think that home had changed overnight. He nodded, deflecting by looking over at his sister. “You almost ready?”
“Let me finish this really quick.” She said before gracelessly chugging her beer.
Dennis shared a look with Mac, rolling his eyes. He smiled back, just barely biting on his bottom lip. Dennis tried to ignore his anguish, to find the silver-lining. At least, he knew that he was the exception.
Mac could spout his religion-fueled homophobia until his dying day, but Dennis would always be the one he broke that divine law for. It made it a little easier to think about forgiving him. Mac would never give in for anyone else, but he did for Dennis. He would always be the only man whose lips, Mac had kissed, and whose dick, he had sucked.
Dennis would be the sole outlier in Mac’s life; it filled him with pity for his friend, but was the only thing that stopped him from hating Mac. No man would ever know Mac as he had, even if only for one night. It would be enough; it had to be. At least he knew for certain, that Mac would never forget him; his Catholic guilt wouldn’t allow him to.
Dee finished her beer, and they all finally made their way back inside. Dennis packed up the few remaining beers and donuts for Charlie to take back to Mac's.
When they made their way to the front door, there was an excited and mutual murmur about plans for Thanksgiving Break. Dennis locked up as the others headed to the driveway.
It was odd; from the second he’d woken up, he wanted so badly to be leaving, putting in distance from the basement, Mac and memories of last night, yet his feet felt as if they’d been encased in concrete. Still, he managed to drag himself in the direction of his car.
Their farewells were mostly short and sweet. Dennis gave Charlie an easy hug, succinctly patting his back before pulling away. “See you soon.” He murmured with a soft smile.
Mac simply gave Dee a pat on her shoulder. “Bye.”
She snorted before mirroring the sentiment. Her and Charlie shared a small one-armed hug while Mac and Dennis briefly stared off.
Dennis lightly scoffed, before pulling Mac into a tight hug, despite himself. Still, he reasoned it was a safe enough gesture, the only one he’d be allowed until late fall. “See you in three months.” He quietly spoke directly into Mac’s ear before forcing himself to pull away.
Mac smirked at him with somber eyes. “It’ll be great. Just you, me and Charlie.”
Dennis nodded, ignoring the pit in his stomach. To Mac, all Dennis would ever be, was just one part of their friendly trio. Nothing more. Nothing special. “As it should be.” He forced himself to say with a false smile. Three months could never change that.
Dennis and Dee loaded up into the car, no room remaining to offer their friends a ride home. It was a good thing too; as Dennis felt emotion lodging in his throat, he doubted he would be able to stop himself from driving straight through, effectively kidnapping his friends, mainly Mac.
Their friends waved them off as he pulled away. Suddenly, his concrete-encased feet became so light, he could barely muster the pressure to push down on the gas.
Once they pulled out on the street, Dennis looked in his mirror to see Mac stepping out on the road, waving as he stared back at Dennis’ mirror. They watched each other until Dennis turned at the edge of the neighborhood, finally free of Mac.
He tried to take in a deep breath of relief, but found himself nearly choking on the exhale. He kept his eyes straight ahead, knowing that no matter how excruciating it was, he wouldn’t feel free until he let go of Mac, and their stupid, stolen night together. He had three months to do it; his future should’ve felt bright and promising, but all he felt, was cold and empty, as though he was made of stone.