Work Text:
❅
Taehyun has been alive for a hundred years.
At least. He’s not really sure. Time is not as cruel to him as it is to humans but it has never been his friend.
He doesn’t have a lot of memories to base on. No story to who he is, no people he’s related to, no tracks of where he’s been.
In theory, he should feel restless about this. But what about him has made any sense to begin with?
He doesn’t get why he has to fly around towns and do nature’s work. When his season passes, he lives on peacefully, wandering through the thaw. The flowers give him a break, the sun at its worst is unbearable, but the browning of the leaves gets him back to his feet. He simply exists and waits for his course to come again. It takes a while, but it always comes back around. As far as he can tell, there is no one else like him. If others exist, he has yet to meet them.
He doesn’t understand his time of the year. It's dangerous weather but it’s celebrated with festivities. When he nips at fingers and freezes the rivers, he doesn’t expect the joy from the village children. His work can kill, and yet they play and roll around on the field he has covered. Their laughter rings in the chilly air. He hears them up close. They don’t see him, no one ever has.
He doesn’t know how he got here and for how long he will stay.
All he has ever known is ice. The cold winds that lift him to the sky, the snow flurrying at the palm of his hands, the winter he finds under his control.
For a hundred years— he supposes— he has been the man of frost.
❅
Taehyun has been alive for two hundred years.
Maybe. He’s certain loads of winters have passed, just not the exact number.
There’s a lot that has changed with the world. More towns stood, more people about. He’s already seen so much and yet there’s always something new to discover. Wherever the wind takes him, he follows and learns a thing or two.
He learned about Christmas and the holidays that humans celebrate when winter arrives. Families come together and their houses have never felt more like home. He leaves patterns of ice at their windows as he visits each of them.
Taehyun has no recollection of having a family but he recognizes love. It’s warm. He sees it all too clearly in the cold, ironically enough.
He doesn’t long for it, he wouldn’t know what he’s missing. But he feels sympathy for those who spend the chilly nights alone, without a roof over their heads, or hot drinks to fill their stomachs.
He tries to make winter kinder to those who do not have the luxury to find the festivity in them.
Over the years, he has come to terms with both the beauty and ferocity of ice. It’s nothing special to him anymore. It’s only the will of nature for the balance of the earth, he reminds himself.
Still, it fills him with pride when people admire his work. When the children have snowball fights or make snowmen and angels, he makes sure the ice is soft. He makes it safe for when they ride their sleds and skate on the frozen lakes. And at nights when all the lights are dim but shining, he lets glistening crystals fall.
It’s not in his intentions, but when the humans smile, with their noses and cheeks red from the cold, he feels accomplished. Perhaps that is the closest thing to love he knows.
So, when the wind takes him to a small city and he spots a child looking out his frosted window with a forlorn look on his face, Taehyun feels compelled to approach and do something.
He lands on the ledge of the small building, not afraid to fall but still careful in his steps. He doesn’t have to be quiet, this boy can’t see nor hear him. And yet he finds himself slowly sneaking to peek at his window.
The boy is young, maybe just five years of age. But he’s frail, almost as if he’s smaller than he should be. Taehyun wonders if he’s well fed and taken care of. Looking at the sign at the top of the building, he learns he’s at an orphanage. No wonder the boy looks like that then. These kinds of places haven’t been the most homey from what he’s seen.
He follows the boy’s gaze. Outside and down below is another boy his age (or as small as he is). He’s playing with a woman, rolling up a snowball to present to her. She cups the little boy’s hands in her own, helping him mold the snow more. They both can’t stop smiling and Taehyun watches in fascination. He sends a snowflake to land on the little boy’s nose. Just as he hoped, the woman giggles and gently blows it off his face, making the child squirm in delight. Taehyun finds the scene cute.
He brings his attention back to the boy at the window and sees his frown get even deeper. Guilt is quick to reach Taehyun. He doesn’t know if he caused it but he’s already scrambling to figure out a way to brighten his mood.
He hears a door open and whips his head back down. A man is at the front door, thanking some other person he can’t see. He has a bunch of bags with him and walks to the woman and child.
Oh.
The man hands the woman one of the bags and picks up the little boy in his arms, spinning him around. He hears the squeal of glee from the boy. He wraps his thin arms around the man’s neck in an embrace. It’s a sweet image of a new family.
Taehyun looks back at the boy he came here for. He’s holding both his palms out on the window now, still watching the three as they walk to the car parked at the front. His brows are furrowed, his eyes have not left them since Taehyun got here. He looks like he’s silently pleading, there’s a touch of hope on his features that only makes him more pitiful. Taehyun knows the glass is cold. The small crack at the side letting in the chilly draft is making it worse. But the boy seems determined to stay put and watch the family below.
But when the car finally starts driving off, the boy’s shoulders sag and he lets out a small puff of cold breath with a sigh.
Taehyun has never seen a kid look so heartbroken. The boy rests his chin on his arms on the windowsill. He pays no mind to the cold hitting his face from the broken glass at the corner. With the light from outside finally dawning on his face, Taehyun can see him more clearly. His skin is pale, as if he has never experienced summer, eyes a bit glassy, as if he’s about to cry.
Taehyun has witnessed young children accidentally hurt themselves playing. They burst into tears, with loud wails that immediately call for assistance. But as this boy’s tears form and slowly roll down his cheeks, he hears nothing but his sniffles. The door in the room suddenly creaks open and the boy quickly rubs his shirt on his eyes.
An old woman calls the boy over, bending down to his level. She wipes his face and rubs his back. Taehyun can’t hear what the lady is saying, he hopes it’s words of comfort. But in no time, she’s standing back upright and leaving the boy alone again.
While Taehyun’s no expert with humans, he hardly believes that was enough to console a child. Doesn’t matter if he stopped crying, the boy is still clearly devastated. He’s slumped in front of the door, his head hanging low.
Taehyun hopes the kid loves winter.
He lets a soft gust enter through the crack from the window, a small flurry of snow with it. Just enough to try and get the kid’s attention.
The boy shudders at the sudden chill and follows the trail of ice, spotting the frost quickly building on the glass panes. Taehyun gets motivated with the surprised face on him.
He continues making the fractals and patterns, putting on a show for the young boy. The kid’s eyes widen in amusement and curiosity. His arms are back at the windowsill, debating whether to touch the glass or not. Despite the puffiness of his eyes, the corners of his lips raise. He’s got a few missing teeth and the sight makes Taehyun chuckle.
Feeling a bit committed to making the boy feel better, Taehyun gets creative with the ice. He forms a small smiley face, drawing it with his finger. The boy follows along, smiling as well. A good sign.
Kids usually enjoy pretty things and so, he draws a flower. The boy’s got his palms on the glass again. He giggles, showing off more of his lack of front teeth. Taehyun laughs along with him.
Taehyun spots an old stuffed bear on one of the many beds in the room and tries to mimic it with his frost. The look of astonishment in the little boy’s face marks Taehyun’s triumph. The child claps and traces it in time with him.
When Taehyun finishes the bear’s snout, he finds the boy staring right at him.
He stops moving altogether, unsure of how to go about being spotted and seen for the very first time. No one has ever and he hasn’t planned for what to do or say.
That is, until he realizes his finger is right at his eye level.
The boy was merely following his drawing of the bear. He wasn’t looking at Taehyun.
He sighs in relief. He doesn’t even think about whether he was disappointed at the fact or not. He never really wished to be seen in the first place. Why would he want to now?
He smiles to himself and lifts his finger off the glass. The boy is seemingly still looking at him, the wonder still in his face. The bear must have really been the correct thing to form. He giggles at the drawing again.
Taehyun feels satisfied. He can’t do much for the boy, but he supposes that the bright smile means he’s done enough.
He takes off by sending a flurry of ice into the air. Perhaps a gentle storm of snowflakes is a good finale.
The kid almost shouts and immediately runs out of the room in excitement.
Taehyun sees the other kids file out of the building too. A good snow day for everyone.
He finally spots the boy in a coat way too big for him. He immediately rolls on the snow, then jumps to catch snowflakes on his gloves and his tongue. Taehyun thinks he resembles a puppy.
The sight is adorable. Taehyun wishes the best for all of the children, especially that one little boy. Hopefully, he gets his turn and gets adopted into a home filled with love.
If the wind ever takes him back here, he’ll at least know how to bring out that warm smile again.
❅
Taehyun has been alive for five hundred years.
Probably not. He really isn’t sure anymore. Time seems to move slowly, but life and the rest of the world do so quickly.
He hasn’t stopped cooling the weather and he hasn’t stopped learning about people and the societies they’ve created.
He can’t help but find them amusing. Their minds are beyond the simplicities of what nature intended. Or what he expected from them at least.
Apparently, they have given him a name. Several, in fact. And depending on where you are. There are different origins and iterations. With nothing else to his existence but a sole purpose, he enjoys the stories they’ve created about him. He doesn’t appreciate being called an old man, however.
If he were to alter the humans’ made up fantasies, perhaps the wind is the old man. He treats it like an old companion anyway, the closest thing he has to a friend all these years.
When he gets whisked away, it’s like another adventure for them both. He lets the wind lead the way. It’s wiser than he is.
Sometimes he wonders how much the wind knows about him. It’s probably more than what Taehyun can say. More than the stories the humans have made, more than there ever was to begin with. It’s been here forever. It knows the earth better than anyone or anything. It’s been to places no one has. Surely Taehyun can’t compare.
He’s merely an instrument of nature— the wind is its spirit.
Today, his old friend takes him to Seoul.
Usually in his downtime, the wind knows to take him to somewhere new. Do all that learning, that experiencing, and wandering. Miraculously, he hasn’t run out of places to visit yet.
But he’s been to Korea every now and then, Seoul even more so. Still, he isn’t one to question where the wind brings him. If it wishes for him to hang around the area again, so be it.
Besides, the ever confusing passage of time has probably brought upon enough changes to the city. And he can only remember so much. There must be something here the wind wants him to discover.
Taehyun enjoys the moments right before the start of winter. When the weather is just chilly enough to feel familiar, but without him putting in the work just yet. The leaves rustling is a sound he likes hearing. The colors of this season are not too hard to look at either. It’s refreshing given how much white he’d see when it’s his run.
If there was someone responsible for autumn, he would give them his thanks.
While Seoul is a very busy city, he feels it’s more alive during the nights. That’s when he strolls the streets, using his legs instead of being carried in the air. For a little while, he can pretend he is human. A citizen of this city with a day job and all. He’ll walk with all the others getting off work riding their trains or driving off in their cars. No one bats an eye at him. He’s free to roam and have fun.
One guy catches his attention. A handsome fellow across the street dressed for the cold from head to toe. It’s a bit excessive to Taehyun but then again, the temperature has been decreasing and will only get lower over time. He can’t blame the man for trying to stay warm.
That wasn’t what caught his eye, however. The guy was quite obviously trying to hide the fact that he’s tearing up. Taehyun has been around several people long enough to know that crying in public as an adult isn’t ideal. The man must know this too. He’s keeping his hood up and looking down at his feet.
The traffic light changes and the large group of people make their way across the street. Taehyun’s gaze remains on that one man with watery eyes.
The guy heads to a park and Taehyun finds the wind leading him there as well.
Taehyun doesn’t remember ever being in this specific park. But it’s a nice area with a lot of space and tall greenery. (That isn’t really all that green now, but he can picture it.) There aren’t that many people anymore but it’s far from quiet. He can still hear the cars on the street, the faint chatter from a group of teenagers somewhere, and a pop song playing from a food stall nearby.
He spots the man from earlier sitting at a bench, all alone and farther from the more crowded area of the park.
The lamp post beside him is just enough light to illuminate the man’s features properly. Taehyun can see him really letting out his tears now. He has his eyes closed, one hand to his forehead and his other arm wrapped around him. He still has the hood up but is no longer attempting to conceal his face. He’s got earphones on too.
Concern always gets the best of Taehyun but it’s impossible for him to engage with humans. Not in a way that other humans could. He can’t offer a hanky, not even a hand. If he were to speak, he wouldn’t be heard. If he were to be a comforting presence, he would have to be… well, present.
Unfortunately, all that he is is a man of ice. And all he can hope for, is that people find solace in the cold.
The man is dressed for the weather. Taehyun might as well.
He checks with the wind, feeling the air at the tips of his fingers as he raises his hand.
He closes his eyes. He needs to concentrate and make this work. He peeks at the man briefly. The guy is still visibly crying but now has his head tilted up to the sky. Perfect.
It’s too early. He still has a few weeks. But he’s here and wants to do this now. He can’t bend the laws of nature to his will but he is in charge of the next season. Speeding up the transition wouldn't be too bad, right?
He closes his eyes once more. Pleading to the sky and the wind. He sends a silent apology to whoever rules autumn for cutting their time short. He takes a deep breath. And when he feels his cold breath at the exhale, the sharp gust to his palm, and the nipping at his fingertips, he smirks.
After all, winter is at his command. Winter is his. He is winter itself.
With a snap of his fingers, it starts to snow.
Taehyun moves a bit closer to the man on the bench. He lets one snowflake fall directly onto his face.
The man’s eyes shoot open. For a moment, Taehyun worries he just made the guy’s day worse. But when the human starts looking up and around at the sky, slowly rising from his seat with his palms up, he knows he’s done the right thing having winter a little early.
A wide smile of disbelief forms on the man’s face. Taehyun hears him chuckle from a distance. He strides even closer, wanting to hear the soft laughter more clearly.
The man takes out his earphones and pockets them with his phone. He raises his palms even higher, catching some snowflakes and inspecting them when he does. Taehyun finds the awe and joy hard to ignore. It’s a heartwarming sight.
As if the unexpected winter night snowfall wasn’t scenic enough, the park comes to life and glows all of a sudden. Christmas lights hung up on the branches and around the bushes all turn on at once. It seems both of them didn’t even notice they were there in the first place.
Even more elated noises erupt from the man. He looks everywhere, maybe a tad bit overwhelmed at the beauty of it all. With a deep intake of breath and a gorgeous smile, he closes his eyes and tilts his head back again. He simply pauses and feels the snow gently caress his face.
Taehyun joins the man in taking it all in. It’s been a while since he’s viewed his work to be anything more than mere ice. It’s wonderful right where the man is standing. The bulb of the lamp post pales in comparison to all the twinkling from the trees. The lights completely surround the bench area, the snow glistens as it falls. It feels like they’re right in the middle of the stars.
Perhaps this is what the wind wanted him to experience. He’s forgotten how beautiful the first snow is, how meaningful it could be to some people.
With a wave of his hands, he lets more crystals form and take shape in the sky, watching them fall and catch the light. He can’t help but chuckle at his creation too. The night is practically sparkling.
“Oh, I remember you.”
Taehyun whips his head around, not expecting to hear a deep voice from the man out of nowhere. Even more curiously, the human appears to be talking to him.
Which is impossible, because he’s not supposed to be able to see him.
So, why is the man still looking towards his direction as if he actually can? He’s staring right into Taehyun’s eyes.
Taehyun doesn’t speak, doesn’t dare believe this man can actually see him.
“Yeah, it’s you again,” he points out.
Taehyun blinks rapidly and steps away from the human. This can’t be.
“I can’t believe this.”
“Neither can I,” Taehyun replies before he could stop himself.
The man gets a little shocked upon hearing Taehyun speak. It’s as if only at that point did he really confirm he was real.
That pushes a bit of courage into Taehyun’s system. He slows down his movements and words, ever so delicate when he asks, “Can you actually see me?”
The man nods. “Am I not supposed to?”
“Maybe. Because most, if not all, can’t,” Taehyun huffs.
“Well, I can.”
“You couldn’t just a second ago.”
“But I saw you last time too.”
That makes Taehyun’s breath hitch. “What?”
The man smiles mischievously. “Don’t you remember?”
He’s going to have to be more specific. Memories have never been Taehyun’s strong suit.
“20 years ago. You made it snow in my old room at the orphanage. And then you frosted up the window with teddy bears and stuff. It made me really happy, but it’s all just coming back to me now. I can’t believe I almost forgot about it,” there’s a glimmer of admiration and bashfulness in his eyes, “About you.”
He tries. He searches for flashes and images, anything that resembles the man in front of him. Anything within the last 20 years that could remind him of what he’s been told.
“Do you remember now?”
Taehyun wants to hit himself with a blast of snow.
Time has never been something he pays attention to, the days blur together and his memories of them fade too constantly. Being immortal to him just means he can’t die, not that he lives eternally. He doesn’t remember most of his life. He hardly counts that as living.
He’s been to hundreds of orphanages. He’s tried to make thousands of kids happy every winter. Countless windows frosted for the enjoyment of whoever. He doesn’t recall anyone seeing him before this guy tonight either. He could have sworn that’s something he would remember.
With a defeated sigh, he tells him just that and apologizes earnestly.
The man can’t mask the disappointment in his face but tries to smile anyway. His lips quiver, and it’s definitely not because of the cold.
Taehyun wants to throw himself down an avalanche. He doesn’t understand why but he can’t stand the sight of the human being hurt and sad.
“That’s okay—”
Before the man finishes his sentence, Taehyun has already formed a snow bear on his hands. It’s pretty much just a snowball with two smaller ones on top of it. It was a quick creation, he didn’t have time to flesh out the details. He offers it to him. “I’m really sorry. Please don’t feel sad anymore. I will remember you from this day on.”
Taehyun has never apologized. He hasn’t even talked to anyone until today. He has never had the chance to apply whatever it is he has learned and observed from people all over the world. He hopes it suffices.
“Promise?” The human asks.
Promises are a volatile pact mankind has invented. And yet, “I promise.”
Perhaps he is lucky, or perhaps the man is kinder than the average person. Because the ice and fickle pledge seem to be enough to bring back a more genuine smile on the human’s face.
“I’m Choi Beomgyu, by the way,” he says as he takes hold of the bear, not quite taking it away from Taehyun’s hands.
That is when Taehyun realizes that not only can he be seen, but he can also be touched.
And touch is apparently warm.
Choi Beomgyu’s hands are warm.
“And you are?”
“My name is Taehyun.”
Choi Beomgyu looks back at him with a curious tilt of his head. He giggles and Taehyun feels a stutter in his chest. “It’s not Jack Frost?”
Ah. Jack Frost was one of the many names the humans have given him. It’s one of the better ones. He’ll hand it to them. At least Jack Frost got his hair right.
“Just Taehyun, I’m afraid.”
Choi Beomgyu smiles at him again with a shake of his head. (Did he have a dimple when they first met?) “Well, just Taehyun, I think you’re pretty great.” He finally takes the snow bear and Taehyun almost didn’t want to let go. He sits back down at the bench, inviting the other over. “Do you have a last name?”
Now isn’t that a mystery? “None that I know of.”
But the question got him thinking more about who the human could be. He would have more to share than he does.
“When did you become Choi Beomgyu?”
Something about the way the human looks at him tells him he appreciates the question. He looks up fondly at the snow falling. “A little over a year after you visited, I was adopted just in time for my 9th birthday.”
That makes Taehyun happy. He doesn’t remember what Beomgyu’s orphanage was like, but he wouldn’t have thought of it highly. He’s glad it didn’t take too long for him to get a family of his own.
“Are they nice? Your parents— the Chois, I mean. Do they love you?”
He’s caught off guard by Taehyun’s straightforwardness but his smile doesn’t falter. “Yes. And I love them so much. I’m so thankful they chose me.”
It’s music to Taehyun’s ears. Choi Beomgyu seems like a human deserving of all the warmth and love the world can offer.
“They took a while… but if I knew it would be them in the end, I could have waited forever.”
And that hit Taehyun harder than he might have thought it had. Because realistically, humans don’t have forever. Jack Frosts, however…
The gravity of his words seem to catch up to Choi Beomgyu, noticing the pensive expression on his face.
The human stands and takes a few steps away, snow bear still in tow. He sways with the snowflakes, basking in the chilly weather, his other hand tucked in the pocket of his coat.
After a while, he speaks. “I love it, what you do. It’s really beautiful, you know?”
Taehyun can only stare at the man and shrug, “I suppose.”
“How long have you been Old Man Winter?”
Taehyun dramatically scoffs and sends a small snowball flying to his shoulder. Somehow, the human knows he had it coming but doesn’t dodge the attack. He laughs as if the ice tickled him.
“Seriously, how long?” He echoes, still a bit giggly.
He breathes deeply. He doesn’t particularly have a definite answer. To stall, he lets a flurry of snow swirl around Choi Beomgyu. He gives the snow bear an actual body and lets it float around him. However, watching the human beam at the small blizzard dance is distracting him from collecting his thoughts.
Choi Beomgyu giggles and almost squeals. He moves with the ice, chasing the snowflakes the snow bear leaves in its trail midair. There’s that glimmer in his eyes again.
He must really love winter.
Taehyun can’t say he’s seen anyone look so amazed at his work. No one has ever reacted so sweetly at the crisp air and the biting frost. Sure, people enjoyed snow. He’s heard people say they love it. But why did the weight of those words feel heavier when they left Choi Beomgyu’s lips?
How long has he been winter? How long has he been invisible to mankind? And why now, out of eternity, does he meet someone who sees him?
“I don’t know,” he finally responds. While it seems the other was busy playing with the snow, he remained attentive to Taehyun, patiently waiting for his answer. “Since forever, I suppose.”
“Then until when will you—”
He doesn’t finish his question, regret clear in the way he purses his lips. But Taehyun understands enough.
He shrugs with a snicker. “Until forever too, I suppose.”
It might not be the answer he wanted to hear, but he nods in understanding anyway. Taehyun can’t read the expression on his face. It resembles pity when the human pets the head of the snow bear that floats to his face.
Taehyun watches him dance with the snow. His features are soft under the lights and ice. His cheeks are rosy, not entirely from the cold as he witnessed.
“What about you? Why were you crying, Choi Beomgyu?”
Embarrassment clouds his face instantly, but at least he doesn’t try to hide again. “I forgot you saw that,” he stammers, his voice reduced to a whisper.
Taehyun feels bad for putting him on the spot. His shoulders hunched doesn’t seem like a good sign. He clearly doesn’t want to talk about it.
He makes his way towards the human. In between them is the snow bear now resting in his palm.
Taehyun wants to reach out and try to console him. But when Choi Beomgyu meets his gaze and avoids it all too quickly, he decides against it.
He doesn’t want to make any mistakes. He’s still new to all this human interaction. He’s hit with the fear that he might have been standing too close to the other. But no one makes an attempt to move away.
Save for the snow bear snuggling up to Choi Beomgyu’s hand.
Taehyun can spend years roaming cities and gaining knowledge from different people, but he will never fully experience and understand the complexities of being human. He has learned to live with a huge gap between him and mankind. There is nothing that he can relate to mortals with aside from the freezing weather.
As much as he wants to help out Choi Beomgyu, what good can he really offer?
But Taehyun would be stupid not to try. He still has a few tricks up his sleeve.
He swiftly puts his hands together, startling the human. When he separates his hands slowly, the snowfall follows suit in speed.
The crystals stop mid air, floating and frozen in time. Almost as if they’re weightless, defying gravity. They’re surrounded by snowflakes suspended in the wind, moving ever so delicately.
Choi Beomgyu gasps and the puff from his breath slowly disperses too. He laughs. He reaches for one of the bigger crystals, perfectly catching it on the tip of his finger. He finally looks at Taehyun. His eyes become glassy and if it wasn’t for the smile, Taehyun would have thought he hated what he just did.
“I’m sorry you had to experience something that caused you pain. I hope winter makes you happy, Choi Beomgyu.”
Taehyun has never been hugged before. Until tonight, that is.
Choi Beomgyu wraps his arms around his torso and buries his face in the crook of his neck.
He feels as if he too was under his own spell, frozen. But he finds the only logical and only thing his body is compelling him to do is to embrace the human in return. He wraps his arms around his shoulders, rubbing his back as he hears the sniffles start.
He already suspected it, but hugs are indeed warm too.
“Thank you, Taehyun” he hears the human softly say.
“You’re welcome, Choi Beomgyu.”
He hears the muffled giggle. “You can just call me Beomgyu, you know?”
“Okay, Beomgyu. If that’s what you wish.”
He hears another sob from him.
Taehyun doesn’t know anything about his past or how he came to be before he controlled ice. He set the curiosity aside. There are so many unexplainable conditions for his role in nature. He puts his faith in its hands anyway. He’s learned so much about the world over the years but only to the extent of an observer. He can deal with that too.
But somehow, not knowing just how to relieve Beomgyu of his agony is becoming his breaking point. Never in his entire existence has he wanted to completely know and understand something this much.
Taehyun lets him stay in his arms for as long as he needs.
He starts to slowly let the snowfall back to its natural rhythm. The faint ballad song he’s hearing from that nearby food stall reminds him they’re not completely alone in the park.
The music makes him sway them side to side, leading Beomgyu to gently turn them in circles too. The snowflakes might be falling normally now, but it doesn’t mean they can’t dance around.
Taehyun has never danced before.
It was one of those human things he never bothered to yearn for. But now, knowing Beomgyu’s touch, having Beomgyu all over him, and feeling all of his warmth in their embrace, he has ruined the bliss of ignorance of what he’s missing.
He’ll forever long for another dance. And he’ll forever wonder why the wind has led him here— in the arms of the most tangible love he’s ever known— only to whisk him away again.
“I dropped your snow bear,” Beomgyu tells him, face still pressed against his neck. His breath on his skin causes a shiver. A first for everything, really.
“That’s okay, I’ll make you another one.”
“Next year too?”
He hums in affirmation.
“You promise?”
He’ll beg the wind to take him back and time to do him favors if he has to.
Even with all the thousands of unanswered questions, loose threads, and nonsensical parts that make up his being.
“Of course, Beomgyu. For as long as you’ll have me.”
❅
Taehyun has been alive for a thousand years.
That’s not right, but whatever. It feels like that sometimes. When he exists in cycles that never end, everyday is roughly the same. The planet still revolves around the sun, the seasons continue to change.
But the world moves at a fast pace. He can’t keep track of it sometimes. Too many people, too many inventions, too much of it all.
And yet he can’t shake the feeling of loneliness that wraps around him when he wanders. That’s the most notable difference, he supposes.
It’s the wind.
Him and his old friend just aren’t like what they used to be before. Taehyun used to feel weightless and invincible up in the air, flying to wherever it brought him. Across oceans, over mountains. To places unknown or undiscovered. He let the currents take him anywhere it wanted and felt like he needed to be. It had guided him to literal and figurative new heights. He trusted its call and power over him.
Because there was no winter without the breeze, no Taehyun without the wind.
But so long ago, he finally stood his ground.
He wanted to decide for himself. He wanted to dictate where to go, where to travel, who to visit.
The first few times, he succeeded. While it wasn’t easy fighting his old friend, Taehyun proved his strength. He went to where and who he desired. But every time he tried to go against the currents, the harsher the wind became. And each time he got thrown to the ground or to the heavens, the more he wanted to test its limits.
He didn’t understand how nature could be so cruel. All he ever did was follow its spirit instead of his own. He did his work without fail and without complaints. Why couldn’t he have a bit of freedom? The bare minimum of a life he could be living. The world’s vast and boundless, he’s grateful to have explored it, but why was he stilll so confined?
He was desperate. He begged and pleaded. He would have done no harm, he would have done his duties still. He was dealing and bargaining. If he could have just that liberty, that privilege, he would slave away in the winter. If he could have a few months, just one day even, he would devote his eternity to the cold. If nature could be so kind just this once, he would never ask again.
He was denied.
It came to a point where he believed being winter was a punishment. One that would last for who knows how long.
He was angry.
So, he continued on. He kept fighting and kept going his own way. Of course, the wind did not like being disobeyed and disrespected. It grew vicious with him. Taehyun didn’t care. He was determined to break free from its frigid clutches. If it pushed, he shoved. If it howled, he roared. If it wouldn’t let him fly, he’d run.
And so, he ran.
He ran until his legs gave out. He ran until he reached his destination. Every winter, when he was too preoccupied to resist, the wind took him farther and farther. The distance never deterred him. When the season ended, he ran again. He ran until he found what and who he was looking for. He always did. Reason as to why no matter how many times he had to and no matter how long he had been doing so, he was never tired of running.
He ran until the wind had had enough.
His old friend’s once gentle breeze that used to lift him off his feet had become a ferocious hurricane that flung him with no remorse.
The pain outweighed the shock.
Taehyun was helpless. No force could have fought against it.
It took him higher than it ever did. All of his senses were rendered useless. Taehyun couldn’t see, couldn’t keep his eyes open. He couldn’t hear through all the thunder and turbulence. The pressure was crushing him and ripping him to shreds.
He thought nature had finally decided his fate. Taehyun could have sworn it was going to be the end of him.
When he awoke, he couldn’t recognize where he was lying. The wind took him so far away, he wasn’t sure if it was even still on earth. It was colder than anywhere he’d been and whiter than any field he’d covered. It was silent, completely deserted and devoid of life.
Snow had never looked so terrifying to him until that day.
His body was petrified. It was torture to move. The freezing numbed him completely.
Taehyun didn’t give up, he was defeated.
Even when he could finally get up, when he finally got strong enough to brave the storms the wind sent, it was to no avail. There was nowhere he could run to.
And still, he made sure to do his job. The wind let him know every time winter was due. And he listened and did his best under his circumstances. From whatever arctic penitentiary he’s at, he still controlled the season of ice and festivities everywhere else.
Because the earth needed him to. Because life needed to go on despite his suffering. Because some sick lingering hope in him thought that nature would reward him or at least pity him.
And because honestly, how couldn’t he? He knew how loved snow is. How happy it made…
…
Him?
…
Who?
…
Someone.
How happy it made someone.
If time had been complicated to him then, time was impossible where he was imprisoned. He couldn’t tell night from day. There were countless winters. There was no way to tell how long he was there.
It felt like forever. Perhaps it was.
Because he doesn’t remember why there was resentment in his chest. Something was weighing him down. But he didn’t know why he harbored such heavy feelings.
All he knew was ice.
And when the wind greeted him and wanted to bring him to another place, he let it. Despite the unexplainable animosity, he didn’t have it in him to oppose.
Gradually, the wind took him closer and closer to civilization.
The wind became his companion again.
Taehyun had forgotten why it wasn’t before.
They work together perfectly, but there’s a rift he just can’t completely ignore.
And so, no matter how great the company was back then, it's a different story now.
Taehyun doesn’t get carried by the wind as often. If it isn’t the winter season, he finds himself needing to walk around to get by.
He doesn’t mind. When the wind takes him to places, it feels arbitrary. He would much rather see where he would lead himself to.
And flying isn’t fun with the looming presence of doubt. He wasn’t the most comfortable up in the sky anymore. The wind knows this and lets him be.
Besides, he never wandered too far anyway.
There’s too much going on with the world, but nothing that really interests him to chase or find. He simply walks and observes the humans he comes across until it’s time for winter to arrive.
He’ll live with the strange loneliness. It won’t kill him. Nothing really can.
So, when he almost topples over because a sudden gust hits his back, he’s more than suspicious.
Another blow to his chest as he turns around, as if it’s excitedly getting his attention.
Taehyun’s confused. The wind and he don’t beat around the bush like this anymore. If the wind wants him somewhere, it makes its presence known gently and then lifts him immediately. Not whatever it’s doing right now.
He feels the breeze at his sides, making the fabric of his garments flow. His silver hair is tousled. He feels the wind rushing around him.
He gets lifted off his feet, less gently than usual.
Taehyun doesn’t understand what’s going on. He was peacefully strolling, thinking it was safe to relax. Winter is in its final stretch anyway, the next season gearing up for its bloom. His job was practically done. He was going to sign off soon and admire the plants coming back to life. He could have done it in the neighborhood he was just in. The wind need not bring him anywhere else.
What else could he do for it now?
Nonetheless, he lets himself be drifted away. It’s not like he has other plans nor an actual choice.
He’s brought back down to a park in Seoul.
Taehyun doesn’t believe he’s been to this part of the country, at least recently. The day is pleasant. The sun’s heat isn’t beating him too badly, the air still chilly thanks to him. The asphalt on the path glistens with the snow melting. Patches of grass are showing up among the trees and the greens.
Taehyun likes seeing the signs of spring creeping up on his creation. Out of all the seasons, it seems the most like what life should feel like. Bright, vibrant, alive. The blossoming colors are beautiful in a way his ice can never be. The animals are awake, the foliage isn’t frosted, and the humans are warm enough.
Taehyun is partial to spring.
It’s a reminder to him that something comes after all the freezing. That winter has its limits— that it too has an end.
The park is a bit busy today. Perhaps the humans are all that excited to bid his season goodbye.
Taehyun still has no clue why the wind brought him here. He looks like a lost idiot among all the people. He’s lucky he can’t be seen.
As if aware of his puzzled thoughts, the wind pulls him forward. He tries his best to avoid bumping into anyone even though he can pass through them.
He gets led to a quite large area, some benches and other shrubs surrounding the space. He’s standing right in the middle of it. Just like that, the wind doesn’t bug him anymore. He supposes this park is just as good as any other place to explore. Still unknown to him as to why, but he has learned to be content without all the questions.
He carefully looks around the area to decide which way to go first, craning his neck because of all the people. Nothing stands out to him too much.
Until he spots him.
Someone all the way across, standing near one of the benches. Dressed too lightly for the weather. A bouquet in his hands.
The man is staring right at him, a wistful look on his face.
Taehyun furrows his brows. He checks behind him to see if he was in someone else’s way. When he spots no one there and turns his attention back to the strange man, he finds him giggling at him.
And while the realization of someone being able to see him rattles his core, the odd familiarity of the man roots him in place.
The way his face scrunched as he laughed. The twinkle in his eyes. That warm and gentle smile.
Why does he recognize him? He doesn’t know this man, and yet he feels the beating of his heart call out to him.
Perhaps the man heard him. He heads towards Taehyun, his gaze never faltering.
He pauses now and then to let some people through, but they never look his way. With each step he makes, snow thaws beneath him. Green patches of grass and flower sprouts get left in his trail.
Taehyun has an inkling of who the man might be. He’s not sure if that explains why he feels this way about him though.
When the man stops directly in front of him, he boldly studies Taehyun all over. Looking at all angles of his face, taking in his entire attire, mapping out every feature. All with unadulterated wonder.
He doesn’t know Taehyun’s doing the same with him. At least he hopes he doesn’t notice. He’s trying to be far more subtle.
But the more he looks at the other, the more he gets frustrated that he can’t figure out his gut feeling about him.
The stranger is the first to break their silence. Looking down briefly at the bouquet he’s holding, he greets with a friendly “Hi.”
I remember you, Taehyun wants to say.
He won’t be able to elaborate, he can’t even explain it himself, but he does. Taehyun doesn’t know a lot of things for sure, but that feels right to say. That voice is not foreign to him, his ears perked upon hearing him speak. His heart hasn’t stopped thumping. He creates ice through his fingers but they’re getting cold now on their own.
His memories may betray him, but his body cannot lie. To be reacting this way to a complete stranger, he must have been important— he must be.
I know you. My body remembers you. You are someone to me.
Taehyun has a million words at the tip of his tongue.
“Hello,” he responds with instead.
The man hums. “Are you perhaps the one in charge of,” he gestures around the park that’s still somewhat covered in ice, “all this?”
Taehyun nods. He points out the other’s flowers and trail of green footsteps. “And you’ve come to overthrow me?”
The man laughs.
Taehyun thinks he saw a tree grow back its leaves at the sound of it.
Spring has always been so bright and lively— here's the guy himself to prove it.
“It would seem, huh?” Spring looks down at his bouquet again, fiddling with one of the leaves on the stem. He gulps. “But the flowers told me to go here. They didn't tell me why, just that I had to see for myself.”
That felt familiar too. Nature has its questionable moments today apparently.
“Here,” he hands the bouquet to Taehyun. “I guess these were meant for you. They practically sang when I laid my eyes on you.”
Taehyun has never received flowers. Never even had a gift to accept. Nothing was ever his to keep. Now here’s a strange but cute man offering what might just be gold. Who is he to deny him?
“They’re camellias,” Spring explains. “They grow really well in the cold. The winter flower, if you will.”
The petals are a pale pink. Taehyun carefully caresses them in between his cold finger tips, delicate and soft to the touch. He has held flowers before this. He has witnessed them bloom. But he never thought to seek flowers that grew during his season. He would have loved the splash of color, the hints of life, the beauty withstanding the ice. And oh, how truly magnificent they are. He will treat them like they’re his greatest treasures.
“They said thank you,” spring says.
“What? No, I should be the one thanking you. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. But the flowers, I mean,” he titters. “They’re thanking you. Your compliments are very sweet.”
Spring explains how plants are sort of psychic and how he was blessed to be able to understand them. It’s as if they talk and whisper to him without voices, guiding him through the seasons and out.
Taehyun shares to him how it’s the wind for him. They communicate perhaps not through whispers, but in movement. The direction of the currents, the strength of each blow, the temperature of the air. He’s no stranger to how well the wind can express itself.
“I guess they’re what make us spring and winter,” he concludes.
Taehyun agrees. He’s been doing this for so long, but he wouldn't be anything significant without the wind.
He wonders what kind of relationship the plants and the man of spring have. If the season ever felt like a flowery chore, if the blossoms ever made him second guess himself, if the gardens grew thorns over time.
“How long have you been around?”
They walk through the park together. Taehyun watches spring start on his course, easing the transition into the season of rebirth. He lets the grass peek through the puddles bit by bit. He places his hands on the trunks and branches, waking them from their slumber. He hovers his hands over areas where sprouts will grow in a few weeks.
“Not too long ago. I’m still getting the hang of it, actually. This is pretty embarrassing, please don’t laugh if they come out ugly,” he says as he wakes another tree, smiling to himself and the bark.
He watches how the exposed roots seem to tingle and slowly brush off the frost. Taehyun is in awe of what he’s seeing. How could he laugh at the man responsible for bringing back what his ice has killed?
“What do you mean? You’re wonderful,” he comments. He misses the way spring looks at him with eyes wide open. “It’s going to be beautiful. I just know it.”
When Taehyun finally meets his gaze, he can’t help but feel the breath knocked out of him. The wind had nothing to do with it.
There’s that odd feeling again. Spring’s eyes look familiar, as if he’s looked into them several times already. Like he got lost in them once and never truly found his way out. Here he is again, mesmerized.
But whose eyes is he being reminded of?
“Thank you for saying that,” spring says and looks away from him, bashful yet excited. “You know, I actually really, really love what you do.”
His eyes glimmered.
He loved the snow.
Taehyun blinks out of the sudden stupor.
“Don’t you think?”
He didn’t quite catch what the other said.
What was that he just saw? It was like a flash or a vision.
“Huh?”
“Winter. Christmas and all the celebrations make it all more grand. Kind of an unfair advantage there, mister. How will my poor season compete?” He teases.
He chuckles, still a bit in a daze from what his brain just… conjured up. “Is spring not to your liking then?”
The man feigns offense and laughs. “I just really enjoy winter. But spring makes sense to me. Maybe because the plants literally talk to me but I think that’s just a part of it.”
He walks to another tree. He places his palm on the trunk, and then his temple above that. He breathes in.
“This one’s about 50 years old,” he whispers. He turns back to Taehyun, a proud smile on his lips. “Playing in the snow makes me happy, sure. But so does feeling the earth through these guys. Like I’m connected to life itself. And I like that feeling.”
Taehyun can’t argue with that. Life is what he found himself admiring about spring too.
“I’d enjoy doing this for 50 years,” he playfully adds.
He liked flowers.
He was born in spring.
“... nipping noses?”
It happened again. Taehyun saw— no, felt. He felt it again.
“Hey, are you okay?”
Taehyun shakes his head. “Yeah, sorry. I’m fine.”
“Are you sure—”
“Were you born in spring?”
The man stops, his mouth agape. “I… don’t know… Maybe? Do we even have birthdays?”
Taehyun only asked because he randomly thought about it. There must have been a reason for it to come to mind now. But he shakes his head again. “Nevermind. Sorry, what were you saying again?”
Spring is dubious, but tries to not let it show. Taehyun appreciates the attempt at normalcy.
“I was asking about you. Since when have you been nipping noses?”
Taehyun wants to smile at how the question was phrased but stops himself. Because he knows that if he answers truthfully, he’d set the mood down. But he was never one to lie. And if the man of spring was to suffer the same endless fate as he, he might as well be warned of what’s to come.
“Way before you,” Taehyun admits. “Definitely before you even existed.”
“How many years?”
That’s the kicker. He breathes in deeply. “I lost count long ago. Maybe over the hundreds? A thousand might be possible.”
The man stares at him in shock. Taehyun can tell he’s processing what he’s been told. He just can’t tell if spring looks happy about it or not.
They stop by a small playground, a few kids on the swings with their parents. The gravel beneath their shoes are covered in sleet. He mindlessly kicks at them.
“Wow,” spring finally lets out. “Must have been forever ago then?”
Oh, how Taehyun is well acquainted with forever. He doesn't realize how hard he’s crushing one of the stones.
Spring stays beside him, melting the ice away on the ground. He keeps an eye on winter, waiting for his answer patiently.
“Yes. You end up letting go of some memories as you go. It just happens without you even knowing. So, I really can’t tell you exactly when I started. Sorry.”
He nods in understanding and chuckles awkwardly. “That’s okay. Time does feel a bit tricky. I’ll just have to be very strategic with my memories. I don’t want to forget just anything.”
Taehyun huffs lightly. It’s easier said than done.
They continue their stroll and pass by a picnic area. There’s a group of four people seated at the table enjoying hot drinks.
“Are there others like us? Was there a spring person I replaced?”
Taehyun tilts his head at the mention of others. He hasn’t thought about the possibility of others. It didn’t even occur to him when he discovered the man of spring. He was too focused on why he seemed so familiar.
There could be others. If spring exists now, the rest might be out there too.
But it took so long for spring to arrive. Who knows if they’d have to wait that long for the next? What if they’re already out there and nature just wanted them in their separate ways?
But then why did it bring him and spring together now and so out of the blue?
He closes his eyes and inhales. Before he upsets himself again with unanswerable questions, he lets the worries go with a breath.
“I’ve never met anyone else. You are the first.”
Spring doesn’t react loudly.
There’s a dejected cast on his face. His eyes feel more sunken suddenly. He pinches his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. He starts pacing a distance away, his back turned to the other.
Taehyun doesn’t say anything. He didn’t particularly like that news either.
It can be overwhelming. The possibility of being alone forever isn’t the most fun. It also scared him from time to time when he remembered.
At least there’s two of them now.
It’s reassuring in a way, he plans to tell him.
But he doesn't get the chance to. Spring turns to face him again abruptly. His eyes are glassy, tears threatening to fall.
Worry washes over Taehyun in a flash. The sight breaks him. There’s a sharp pang in his chest and his arms are begging to reach for him. He needs to tell him it’ll be alright. That it might not be so bad. That if he focused on his spring duties, he won’t even think about it too much. That if it really frightened him, at least there were two of them. That he’s here with him.
He stays unmoving, letting the guilt of doing nothing eat him up.
“You’ve been alone for so long? You had no one?” Spring mutters.
You were my first.
He closes his eyes tightly.
You were my only.
The images in his head feel too real, too vivid. But that didn’t make any sense.
Why did he see him?
When Taehyun opens his eyes, he’s met with the expectant but heartbroken face of… spring.
“I don’t know,” he says under his breath. He looks straight into the other’s eyes, searching for something. For someone.
Spring wipes his tears away before they fall.
“I suppose,” Taehyun continues. He still can’t look away, even when the other has his head down.
They make their way back to where they met earlier in comfortable silence. They sit side by side on one of the benches, enjoying the last bits of daylight together.
Taehyun hasn’t felt the wind calling him yet. It’s giving him time. He can only assume the plants are letting the cold stick around with spring for a while too.
The park gets more quiet as the day comes to a close. It’s peaceful.
Perhaps nature is letting them enjoy their time together. Who knows what’s in store for them after this? It’s not like they need each other to fulfill their roles anyway. Spring has been thriving without his knowledge of the man existing. Winter has been around since forever. They can manage.
Maybe nature is just letting them experience what it feels like to not be alone.
It feels nice.
Silence with spring feels nice.
Taehyun could get used to it.
“Do you know what pink camellias symbolize?” Spring asks just as the sun sets.
He shakes his head no.
He takes a deep breath. “Generally, camellias mean love.”
Love. He knows about love, he thinks.
“Affection and admiration.”
Taehyun looks up at him, trying to understand what he’s trying to say. Spring refuses to look back at him, keeping his eyes on the bouquet on Taehyun’s lap.
“But pink camellias, they mean longing. It’s given to someone who is missed.”
Taehyun clutches the stems of the flowers harder.
He lifts his head and gets a distant look on his face. “I didn’t understand why it were the camellias asking me to come here. But nature always has its reasons, I was sure this wasn’t just a random choice. But I didn’t expect I’d meet you.”
Spring finally faces him and Taehyun holds his breath.
“I don't know if you’ve ever longed for others like you, or for just someone who could see you, but I did. It’s not the greatest feeling. I can’t imagine how much harder it must have been for you. All those years, you must have missed something or someone too.”
You. I longed for you. I missed you.
Taehyun’s eyes begin to sting.
Despite the loneliness he felt over the years, he never allowed himself to cry over it. He didn’t see a point to it. The tears wouldn’t fix the rift between him in the wind, wouldn’t fill whatever void he was feeling, wouldn’t give him the answers to every question he ever had.
But it was him. And he had taken the words out of the depths of emotions Taehyun had locked away. It’s him. And they’ve found their way back together again. It’s him. And they have the rest of time now.
I loved you.
It was a memory.
It was spring.
It was him all along.
Taehyun accidentally rips a petal from his grip. Spring softly giggles and fixes it for him in one elegant sway of his hand.
And you loved me.
“Thank you,” Taehyun tells him through a sob. For more things than one.
“I’m sorry you waited so long. I would have asked the trees to lead me to you faster if I knew,” he jokes. “I promise you'll never be that lonely ever again.”
Spring smiles and shifts to wrap his arms around winter’s neck, cradling his head, letting him cry it out.
And with a sharp intake of breath, Taehyun remembers.
They met here. They first talked here.
He made it snow for him here.
Their roles were reversed and he was the one comforting him. Taehyun promised he wouldn't forget him. He promised he’d visit.
Everything was coming back in flashes.
Taehyun visited him the following winter.
Taehyun found him in the succeeding seasons.
And then he kept coming back to him. Until he needed to fight. Until he needed to run. Until he was forcibly taken away.
The days were all mixed up over the years but the memories and emotions were there.
They first kissed on the first day of snow.
Taehyun confessed to him in the spring.
His feelings were returned in the summer.
They took it further in autumn.
This was proof he knew love. He experienced love. They were in love.
A force stronger than nature alone. Even mortality taking one of them couldn’t kill it off.
Life was cruel but it was only a matter of time.
Years and years and years of waiting and loneliness. Everything was worth it as long as it was for his lover.
It’s okay that he doesn’t remember Taehyun. He supposes now they’re even. What matters is they’re here and they’ll have the rest of eternity with each other. They’ll make up for the time they’ve lost.
They have forever. Both of them, together.
Taehyun can’t stop crying.
His spring lover holds him in a comforting embrace, not knowing just how much Taehyun needed it.
Taehyun has always loved being hugged by him. After all the traveling and all the wandering, running back to his arms warmed his heart the most. He was home.
This is what love and home feels like.
He commits it to another memory.
One of the many of him he has. One of the firsts winter will share with spring.
When the sky has darkened and most of the people have found their own ways home, winter has calmed and they prepare to part. Just for now, at least. It would take more than nature now to take Taehyun away from him.
He says he feels the earth and the roots already asking for him elsewhere. That he must bid his farewell earlier than he wants.
That sentiment, though maybe trivial or even just said to be polite, has left Taehyun hopeful enough to not be too dispirited about him leaving.
“I guess I’ll see you around?”
Taehyun will make sure of it. “Yes. Sooner or later.”
Spring gives him his most radiant smile yet.
In love. He is so in love.
If his memories didn’t already convince him of the fact, the sight in front of him now does.
“I’ll look forward to this year’s enchanting blooms, knowing they’re in your hands.”
“You flatter me.”
No, I just love you.
Taehyun looks at the bouquet of camellias he’s been gifted. He carefully takes one out from the bunch, marveling at just how perfect and meaningful it is, and offers it to the object of his affection and all else it symbolizes.
He can’t express the expanse of all that he feels right now, but the flower can suffice.
He wonders if it could read and carry the weight of his emotions in its delicate petals. With the way they flutter while still in his hold, he supposes the flower has an idea.
Spring has a surprised but delighted look on his face at his gesture. When their fingers brush as he reaches for the flower, Taehyun thinks he almost hears the flower sing too.
For a moment, he fears the plant has tattled.
But spring only looks at him fondly. If the camellia is whispering to him, he doesn’t make it obvious.
Instead, he takes a few steps closer and hugs Taehyun one more time.
It was brief, done in an instant, but he felt time stop holding his lover close.
Time always did work differently for him.
And with their (nonpermanent) goodbyes, spring heads off.
Even with his eyes still a bit swollen and his cheeks still tear stained, his heart feels light. There is no grief as he watches the love of his everlasting life walk away from him. No worries.
And there will be no regret, he decides. He doesn’t even let him get far.
“Beomgyu, wait!”
The man turns around to look at him quickly. It might be wishful thinking, but behind his shock, Taehyun almost sees his eyes bear recognition.
Taehyun feels a gentle gust pushing him towards his lover. He smiles. Oh, he’ll have a word with his “old friend” later, alright. But for now, he doesn’t have to be told twice.
“How do you know my na—”
“I made you a promise a long time ago,” he reveals and cuts him off. “I’m terribly sorry for breaking it. I didn’t mean to.”
Beomgyu doesn’t say a word, eyes welling up.
“I’ll make you a new one now. So, I’ll hold you to yours, okay?”
His gaze doesn’t leave Taehyun, his lips stay apart. He steadies his breathing, as if he’s willing himself not to break. Into tears? Into laughter? Into hysterical violence? Taehyun can think of the many possibilities.
One of which takes the form of a flower in his lover’s grasp. Taehyun’s eyes dart to it for a split second. Is it perhaps spilling his heart to him right now?
For what felt like another mini forever to him, they just stare in contemplative silence. Until Beomgyu lets out a breathy giggle and wipes away whatever tears have fallen.
It washes away the bubbling doubt in Taehyun.
“What’s your name?”
Oh, so perhaps nature really can keep a secret. He sends his thanks.
They can go about their relationship as slowly as needed. Taehyun will willingly wait another forever if it means getting to love and be loved by Beomgyu again. Because time is on their side now. And by spring’s side does he plan to spend the rest of it.
“Taehyun,” he introduces.
“Wow,” he snorts, “Could have sworn it was going to be Jack Frost.”
He laughs with him. Beomgyu was always one to make jokes like that. He remembers how much he adored his humor. And just how adorable he is when he’s happy.
He would love nothing more than to make him happy. Even if it was at his expense.
“Just Taehyun, I’m afraid.”
“Well, just Taehyun, would you kindly explain to me why this camellia is telling me to kiss you right now?”
Oh?
Well, perhaps nature is a confidante but not a patient one.
But now that it was mentioned, the confused but teasing smile on Beomgyu’s lips does look so kissable. Can’t blame a guy for missing the heat after the freezing cold.
Or perhaps nature just really knows him better. The wind returns and pushes him forward like before, as if attesting to his thoughts.
The camellias must be crazy. Beomgyu even more so for voicing that information out so confidently.
But Taehyun’s not one to back down. Frost bites, after all.
“Would you prefer I tell you to kiss me right now?”
“Are you asking?”
“Begging, really.”
It’s true. He was starved of his kisses, his touches, his everything.
Beomgyu laughs and runs up to him. Taehyun catches spring in his arms and spring captures his lips.
They grab at each other, losing themselves to one another. At some point, they both drop their flowers. If the plants complained (they didn’t), Beomgyu ignored them.
Taehyun doesn’t want to pour all the longing he harbored into the kiss, but Beomgyu seems intent on making it difficult for him. Spring kisses the cold out of him, warming his entire being.
So, he returns the favor. He lets the want and need for his lover take over.
He brings Beomgyu closer, angles his face to kiss him deeper, holds him so tight until he feels his body shiver.
When they break apart, they’re breathless and entranced. Taehyun can’t believe spring is his to see and love like this. He smiles and kisses the tip of Beomgyu’s nose.
He giggles and scrunches his face. “Is that how you nip people's noses?”
Oh, Taehyun is so irrevocably in love. “Only yours. You loved it when I did that.”
“Hmm,” Beomgyu brushes back his silver hair, “You’re going to have to remind me then.”
“Gladly.” Taehyun does it again, and then to each of his cheeks, and finally a quick peck back on his lips. “Take all the time you want to remember, I can keep going.”
Beomgyu stops his next attempt at kissing his nose, “What if I take forever?”
“That doesn’t scare me anymore.”
“What if I never remember?”
Taehyun wants to kiss his sullen pout away. “That’s okay too. We’ll make more memories than we ever had to begin with. It will be like we never even parted.”
Beomgyu shakes his head fondly. “That doesn’t even make sense.”
Who cares? Taehyun doesn’t need things to make sense. Even if nothing in the world made sense, even if all the unanswered questions have piled up, even if he still doesn’t know how this all began or came to be. What matters is Beomgyu.
And loving Beomgyu made sense.
If nothing else is retained and everything else is unknown to him, at least that’s a fact he can be sure of. He won’t forget it this time.
They let go of each other’s embrace only to intertwine their hands as they walk out of the park. Nothing wrong with winter just tagging along spring's duties.
They almost forget the camellias they’ve dropped, accidentally stepping on one of the flowers as they make their way.
Although it seems in vain now considering Beomgyu’s leaving a trail of tiny baby camellias behind him. He was just excitedly doing and showing off his job. The flowers are littered everywhere with him walking back and forth, dragging Taehyun along because he refused to let go of winter’s hand. In spring’s eagerness, the both of them failed to avoid the blossoms at their feet.
Despite the apologetic look on Beomgyu’s face and the possible silent screams of the plants, Taehyun thinks it’s quite a scene.
The two of them walking over a field of what would be camellias, the winter flower of love. White for adoration, pink for longing, and red for passion and deep desire.
How fitting, how perfect.
Taehyun and Beomgyu.
Ice and flowers.
Winter and spring.
Together, may they brave the cold and walk on the flower path forever.
❅ ❀