Chapter Text
Rebecca couldn’t stop sobbing, she had always wondered why films showed people crying all neat and pretty, when reality was far uglier. She caught sight of herself in the bathroom mirror before sinking down the wall. She could hear her parents arguing in the kitchen, so far away but her senses picked up every scornful word thrown.
She had done it again, Lord she didn’t mean to but she couldn’t help it. Some days she felt like there was something clawing to get out under her skin, oozing out of her pours. Every time an incident happened, the argument was always the same, her mother arguing to spellbind her and her father being resistant to reasoning. He didn’t like the idea of putting them through what Diana had, and also did not like that the idea came from a promise made to his brother. He detested the idea of any decision made being part of something to do with Baldwin.
Rebecca knew she couldn’t keep up with what she was doing, but she never felt able to express herself. Her true nature always came out in peculiar ways. Pip was encouraged to express his magic, but that never came naturally to Rebecca. She could poof a cup of tea out of thin air but nothing like her brother. Her abilities were almost entirely vampiric and with all of that came the urges. Where he was unlocking bolted doors with a spell she was dribbling over the hide of a deer.
Unfortunately this meant a deep fear of Matthews had been realised. Even of a young age he could see himself in her and he hated that. He had not realised what he was doing made her feel self-conscious as though what she felt was wrong how she wanted to behave was wrong.
It was for that reason she kept a fair amount of her desire secret. When she was small until about the age of ten she had the habit of nipping people and that was the first time Matthew and Diana began to argue. She grew out of it and then they thought nothing of it for years. Then came the teenage years where she had to move to five different schools and Matthew paid out hefty brides to families so they did not voice their concerns. Rebecca had taken chomps out of her peers in hunger and anger.
Now though a man had ended up in hospital after a night out. She was 18 now clubbing was legal at that age in the England and she had taken to the nightlife like a moth to a flame. She had ingested blood mixed with wine many times, the odd few nips of a child at school but never a full feeding session from a high warmblood. All she wanted to do was be herself, but she just didn’t know how to do it safely. No one had tried to show her no matter how many times she begged. Baldwin had been the only one to offer but each time it was rebuffed by her father who still held a monopoly over his young daughter.
“How on Earth does she expect to attend university when she cannot even keep her mouth off of a bouncer!” Diana hissed back at her husband “think Matthew, can you imagine what this is like for her?” She all but screamed “there is a way I can ease her urges –“
“NO” he bellowed back. God he wanted to shut her up, give her something to chew on “Diana” he changed tactic lowering his tone and softening his voice “Mon Coeur, let us not fight anymore, please”
Diana squared her eyes at him “I made a promise to the congregation and to my brother”
Rebecca couldn’t listen to it anymore she wanted to shut it all out. She had become adept at sneaking out of her house and tonight is no different. She sent her brother a text letting him know she was going out and shimmied out of the window and down the drain pipe. If there was anyone that was going to help it would be Baldwin.
He was staying in London currently meaning that it would take over an hour by train. It was a Thursday so he should be at home by now having usually left work about seven. She had some anxiety going to see him the usual amount anyone did when they were faced with him. She had spent a great deal of time during the school holidays in his offices sat in board meetings watching as he barked seethed and shook fear into everyone. Even his beloved niece had to admit Baldwin Montclair had a ruthless edge to him.
Rebecca announced at the ripe old age of six that when she grew up she was going to be exactly like her Uncle. That was the first time in 1500 or so years that Matthew thought he was going to have a heart attack.
The automated voice called over the tannoy Paddington Station. No matter the time of the day it was always busy but Rebecca liked the hustle and bustle of London. She took a deep breathe stepping from the train to the platform the gap seeming far less intimidating then it did when she was small. She hurried from the platform first stopping to grab a bite from Upper Crust. Nothing from here compared to the pastries Marthe made but it sufficed for the twenty minute walk from the station to his home on Green Street, Mayfair. Baldwins Mayfair home was quite simple compared to some of the more lavish places in Mayfair but it did have the most stunning view of Hyde Park.
“Ah hem” someone cleared their throat behind her just as she started padding down the steps to start walking in her direction “aren’t you supposed to be grounded?”
She turned at the sound of his mocking voice eyes narrowed “Did Pip text you?”
Baldwin smiled stepping down to meet her on the steps and looped their arms together “No. I heard about the incident and I knew you would show up at the right time for me to have finished work”
“so you just lingered outside of the station like a whore?” she chewed off the next part of her pastry hasfahsing as it was steaming
“at least blow on it Cara God forbid you’ll peel off the roof of your mouth!” he guided her across the street pulling her in a bit tighter to his side as the cold air nipped around them. He knew she wasn’t as susceptible to the cold like humans but he couldn’t resist mollycoddling her “And I am no whore. I’ve never been charged for my good services!”
“Doesn’t mean you aren’t a whore” she jibed back “if you weren’t a” she lowered her voice significantly “vampire” it picked up again “then you would have died of syphilis or whatever it is you whores die of”. In retaliation he snatched the half-eaten pasty from her hand and threw it into a nearby bin. She gasped dramatically stopping in the middle of the pavement “you threw away my food!” she yelled in disbelief
“you called me a syphilis whore!” he yelled back trying to keep a straight face. In a moment they broke into laughter re-joining their linked arms and continued their walk. He didn’t have a friendship with anyone in his family he cared for them but it wasn’t the same not like the relationship with his father. Rebecca was different she was witty and intelligent and unafraid of him. She was his favourite person. He so wished he could have had her and Philippe in the same room, so he could feel a modicum of happiness.
She had hoped for the gentle banter to continue but one minute she found herself probing about his current investments and the next she was on his couch, legs crossed holding a wine glass being grilled about her recent mishap “Can we talk about something else?” she pleaded
He gave her a pointed look “No” he declared “I want to know what’s going on with you”
“Alright” she cleared her throat “I don’t want you to reply unless prompted and I don’t want you to judge me”
He looked legitimately offended “I could never and would never judge you cara” his voice was soft and reassuring “you should always know I am in your corner”
“I just feel sometimes I can’t” she steadied herself the feelings she had harboured for so long she had never put into words to anyone “my father doesn’t let me be me but he always argues with mommy about spellbinding me – in part because he doesn’t want me to go through what mommy did but also because he doesn’t want her to carry out a promise to you” she looked at him shyly, and his eyebrow was arched in a oh really type of way “my entire life things have happened and it’s because I know I’ve never had the opportunity to express myself as a vampire. Pip gets praised every time he does something magical and daddy just looks in horror every time I take a bite of an animal or choose wine for dinner. It’s not fair” her voice cracked at the end “it makes me think the things I think and feel are wrong and then I go out and do silly things because I don’t know how to control myself”
“Rebecca” he took her hand in his softly running the pad of his thumb over her knuckles “you are one of the most intelligent women in this family far too pretty to be seen outside for my liking too” she giggled at his over protectiveness “but there is something you are missing in this whole story”
“what” she crossed her brows in confusion
“I sympathise with your parents I do and I do not for one moment think either of them wanted you to feel any less then. Especially not less than your brother but you’re eighteen now. You don’t need their permission to do anything, or learn how to drink from an intoxicated male safely. Or fuck them while doing it”
She redden, face turning hot “UNCLE!” She quietly shouted “how did you know?”
“He’s awake. I went to visit him in the hospital” Baldwin shrugged “we shall not be hearing from him again” his smile was not reassuring
“I don’t want to know” she groaned leaning back on the couch “I just need to learn some control I just don’t have anyone around willing to show me”
Baldwin debated the idea, God he would end up in a world of shit. Philippe would resurrect himself if he knew what his son was planning “Rebecca if I tell you a secret you must promise to keep it. I love you, but will dispose of you if needed. I was duty bound by my father to keep this a secret and you know of all people how disobeying him is difficult for me”
Without a second thought she stuck out her pinkie finger and swore on it with her Uncle “I swear”
“Do you know why I only have one daughter?” she shook her head in response “Philippe as you know turned me during one of the battles of Caesars wars. Terrible decision on his part a fledgling surrounded by so much blood and death but I’m not ungrateful he did” he cleared his throat adjusting his tie “well two or three days after I broke free from the constraints that were holding me and I attacked most of the legion”
Rebecca’s mouth dropped opened in shock noises catching in her throat as she tried to form sentences “you -you” she squeaked “killed your own legionnaires?”
“No I turned them. Most are still alive today and the point of divulging this secret is so you understand we all make mistakes but we must learn how to control ourselves better. After my incident Philippe banned me for life from turning anymore sons, seen as I had acquired enough. That day that choice I made was not the first or last incident I had in 2000 years. This problem you had a hundred years from now you won’t care for it nor for how you feel about it. What is important is moving forward and learning from it”
She leapt forward pulling him into a hug “you always know the right thing to say to me”
He pushed her back a bit to continue talking “I had not finished yet” he began ominously “the other reason I told you this is because I am due to fly to Rome at the weekend for a month and I would like you to come with me”
“to meet your brood of sons?” she tried to picture what they may look like she couldn’t put faces to any of them but she imagined them to be boisterous
“Yes, I own some clubs out there. I shall have my favourite son take you to them show you some control. I would take up the mantle but I have other plans I don’t wish to change. Should you need me I will be there”
Her shoulder sagged “I can’t I’m due to start university next week”
He scoffed “The same university you were winging about the last time I saw you? You weren’t happy about going to school months ago why are you still going?” he asked confused “and so help me God if the answer is the placate your father”
“I just want him to be proud of me show him I’m as good as my brother”
Baldwin tried to keep his face neutral but he knew he look murderous “Fuck university hand in your notice or whatever it is you need to do and work for me. You’ve always wanted to”
“I….I don’t…..“ she could almost cry “I don’t know what to say”
“Just say yes Rebecca start living your life how you want to” he placed emphasis on that phrase, questioning if he should be taking a detour via Matthews house to choke him “I have one more admission and I do not want you getting overly excited about it. Nor having grand ideas of telling your mother or Phoebe or anyone”
She knew he was serious his voice took on a tone he had never used on her before “More secrets? You dark horse” she teased giving his shoulder a jab with her finger
“you haven’t the faintest my dear” he smirked “my favourite son is also my oldest friend and there is no one I would trust you more with in my place. His name is Mark”
She narrowed her eyes, heart starting to race “surname?” She knew deep down what he was about to say and she didn’t know how to respond
He let out a longing sigh “Anthony”
The scream she let out pierced his ear drums beyond repair.