Chapter Text
Steve observed Bucky with a dopey smile on his face. His body resting comfortably, leaning against the hallway as Bucky let out a laugh full of pent-up adrenaline, giddily spinning around in the empty apartment.
Steve’s whole body felt lax and buzzed with warmth at the sight, it was a filling feeling, something he wouldn’t mind drinking in on a daily basis-something that he would decidedly not read further into.
Bucky stumbled over to the giant window that overlooked the city, gasping quietly in awe while taking in the sight, giving Steve time to tear his gaze and run it through the apartment.
The whole apartment was pretty much open, apart from the bathroom, studio, and the laundry. The kitchen, dining room, living room, and bedroom were all connected in the main room. Which was expected from an apartment in the city.
The wooden floor that had been tinted a homey, rich, Jacobean colour had a 3-inch step that separated the kitchen floor from the rest of the living area. The kitchen had an island with 3 white barstools tucked neatly into it and a decent sized workspace on the kitchen counters.
The cupboards and drawers were paper white and the backsplash of the stove a neat, dark grey, brick patterned with white filling which complimented the off-white marbled counter tops.
The living room was carefully decorated in a spacious yet lived-in manner. An 85-inch television was attached to the wall, which- in Steve's opinion - was a bit of a dramatic purchase. Underneath it was the dark oak tv stand-which was now purely for decorations sake since the tv wasn’t even on it-that Steve had once shown Bucky a while back.
In front of that was a simple glass coffee table, decorated with books Bucky probably had just bought, again, for decorations sake. Underneath that a simple carpet, plaid with ranging blue hues.
A blue-grey love chair with a large mass of pillows caught Steve’s attention and a matching double couch that had a cream fluffy throw thrown over it. Had Bucky been taking a secret course in interior design or did an actual interior designer breeze through? Steve chuckled at the thought when he realized the answer. Pinterest
The giant windows that bordered across the main room would save on electricity throughout the day and during the night they could leave the curtains open so they could rest with the beautiful city lights streaming through their window from down below.
It was a very good deal for how much they were paying per week and most of that was definitely thanks to Bucky and his cousin’s charm.
Steve’s eyes then settled on the bedroom side of the area. Also, with a 3-inch step off the ground separating it from the living room. It was decorated comfortably with a double desk area where he guessed Bucky and him would be working from more often than not. His vision locked in confusion at the king bed. The single king bed. Were they sharing? Or was Bucky waiting for Steve to get his own bed.
… Huh.
Bucky snapped his fingers in front of Steve’s face- when did he get there? - alerting him out of his thoughts.
“Why does it seem like I'm more excited about this then you are? I’ve already seen this place online and this was meant to be a surprise for you!” Bucky grumbled. He was feigning disappointment and his grin confirmed everything.
“I am excited! I'm just...more content right now. I mean you’re happy and... that’s enough for me.”
His body pulsed abruptly with spiky sweat that left his skin feeling cold, what did he just say?
Bucky froze momentarily and his face shifted into an unidentifiable expression. His eyes looked so distant yet so intensely present that it made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Steve didn’t get enough time to decipher the meaning of his expression before the life returned back into Bucky's body.
“...Sap”, Bucky teased as he smiled bittersweetly at the ground, digging his hands into his pockets and swaying his weight forwards and backwards on the balls of his feet.
Steve could’ve sworn Bucky’s ears were a darker shade of red then they usually were, but it was too hard to tell when the sun blossomed through the hollow of his cartilage, lighting up the ear itself.
“Also--”
Steve began, redirecting the conversation.
“--I don’t think you can still use the word, ‘surprise’, when you told me a month ago that you were moving.” Steve stated with a grin as he pushed himself off the wall.
“Hey! What do you mean ‘you were moving’? Excuse me if I don’t recall this correctly, but I'm pretty sure there are more than 4 whole suitcases outside with your name plastered on them.” Bucky smirked.
“I’m telling you! The majority of those suitcases are just my art supplies. They’ll be out of sight in no time.” Steve chuckled
“Hey, it’s fine. You could leave them in the living room for years on end for all I care.” Bucky said sympathetically as he rested his hand comfortingly on Steve’s shoulder.
Steve felt a smile creep up his face as he realized Bucky thought that they would be living together for years to come.
“Well, I wouldn’t want to trash your apartment.” He commented bashfully.
“It’s our apartment now Steve. You can do whatever you fucking want.” Bucky said with a cheeky grin as he slid his hand off Steve’s shoulder.
Steve’s heart caught itself and something fluttery pooled in his stomach. Our. He didn’t know why Bucky's little actions and seemingly meaningless words always felt so precious and sentimental to him, and really? He didn’t want to know. Somewhere deep inside he did know what all this meant, but there was a reason it was deep inside. A realization he wasn’t ready to uncover, he wasn’t ready to awake that sleeping dragon just yet. For now, this was enough.
“And the king bed?” Steve questioned playfully with a tilt to his head and the lift of an eyebrow. The corner of his mouth turning upwards.
“Don’t worry I put your bed in the studio. The studios pretty big, can’t say much about the bed. Don’t pout, I'll let you snuggle with me when it thunders.” Bucky tagged on all smug.
“I’m not pouting! And that was a long time ago!” Steve defended, feeling his ears rapidly getting hotter.
“Whatever you say, Stevie.” Bucky replied as he turned on his heel, disappearing into the hallway
“I was seven!” Called after him.
“-teen!” Bucky added, his voice echoing as it descended further down the hall.
“Steeve~!” Bucky called from across the apartment.
Steve wanted to roll his eyes. It had been a month and a half since Bucky and him had moved in together and although he wouldn’t say he was sick of it. Sometimes he felt like Bucky was purposely trying to annoy Steve out of pure boredom.
“What is it, Buck?” He groaned from the studio.
“I need help...” Bucky replied, just loud enough to hear. As if he was slowly beginning to be lost in thought.
“I’m on my way~” Steve sung.
He exited the studio and rounded the corner into the main room, there he saw Bucky wrapped up in a blanket with his hair all sleep mused, most likely from one of his infamous afternoon naps. He let a smile form on his face, letting the annoyance from before drain away from him.
As he got closer to Bucky, the clothes on his bed came into his line of sight. Was Bucky going somewhere?
“What’s up Buck?” Steve asked as he came to stop right beside Bucky.
“I’m going clubbing tonight...you wanna come with?” Bucky asked with a hint of underlying hopefulness in his voice, his gaze refusing to budge from the ground as he played with his hands.
Steve almost felt bad for the answer he was about to give, but he had work he needed to finish for a client. He never really was much of a clubber to begin with, but he almost always went with Bucky on his ventures to the clubs. That was until his art started to get more recognition a month back, and now his clients list is really starting to pack up. He just, doesn’t have as much time anymore.
"Sorry Buck, I’ve gotta finish this commission before tomorrow morning...”
“It’s all right”, Bucky sighed. He turned his face to lock his gaze with Steve's and gave him a reassuring smile, which didn’t quite meet the eyes.
“Now, help me pick an outfit?”
“Yeah, sure”, Steve agreed.
Bucky strode over to his wardrobe and began throwing clothes on the ground behind him, mumbling ' yeses' and ' noes' to himself. Steve chuckled as he began picking the clothes off the floor and folding them onto the bed. Bucky was a year older and a couple months older than Steve, but sometimes- most of the time –he didn’t act like it.
For the record, he did once ask Bucky if he ever felt the need to pull his socks up, but he only responded by tapping Steve on the cheek and saying, “I’m trying to enjoy my youth while I still have it, this gorgeous face isn’t going to last forever. Might as well trap someone with it and then let them suffer the consequences in our old age.”
“A-Ha!” Shouted Bucky in triumph.
“Found something?” Steve quizzed.
Bucky spun on his heel and pulled out his powerful worn black skinny jeans and white shirt duo from behind his back.
“Hey~?” Bucky cooed, waiting for an answer.
“I doubt it will be only the ladies noticing you tonight, Buck. How many pairs of eyes you wanna catch?" Steve teased.
“Only need one...” Bucky mumbled quietly to himself.
“As long as you bring a coat though. Heard it’s gonna get pretty cold out in the early hours, and knowing you? You’re definitely going to still be there around then.” Steve added.
“Okay Steven. Next time prepare me before you bring the Daddy voice out”, Bucky mocked, raising his hands into the air and shaking them with his eyebrows raised before dropping his expression into a playful grin.
Steve sighed, shoved Bucky into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
It was the early hours of the morning when Steve heard Bucky's keys turning in the front door. He almost let himself drift back to sleep, now fully at ease with the knowledge Bucky was safe and sound at home, until his senses picked up on the loud rain thundering against his window.
He rushed out of his bed, quickly adjusting his pyjama bottoms up from where they had fallen. Shoving on his fuzzy slippers he speed-walked down the hall and into the living room.
“Bucky, are you-”
He paused at the sight. Bucky was drenched from head to toe, his dark grey trench coat now black with beads of water collect at the hem, dripping all over the wood.
Steve hadn’t even seen what was occupying Buck’s hands until he heard it loud and clear.
“Meow?”
Steve's eyes shot to Bucky's at once.
“Bucky...” Steve warned.
“I can explain!” Bucky announced swiftly, rushing to grab the kitten from... underneath his shirt?
He pulled the scrawny little thing out from the ball of his shirt he had wrapped it in. Rustling with the fur- trying to make it look better? -before lifting it up to show Steve.
Steve, who was still at least 5 feet away from Bucky squinted his eyes at the thing. He didn’t really know what to make of it. It sounded like a cat, but the way it looked...
“What is that?” He asked, taking a hesitant step forward to get a better look.
“What do you mean ‘What is that?”!” Bucky replied, seemingly offended by the question.
“It’s so...skinny.” Steve grimaced in sympathy.
“Well before you start treating him like an alien, I hope you remember that, not too long ago might I add, you looked like this too.” Snarked Bucky.
“Fuck you, Bucky.”
“Love you too Steve.” Bucky Beamed.
Steve rolled his eyes and spun on his heel,
“I’ll go get you and ‘little me’ over there a towel, don’t move. I already mopped this week, and I don’t want to have to do more then I need too.” Steve called over his shoulder as he strode further down the hallway.
A minute or so later, Steve returned to the main room and was genuinely surprised to see Bucky sitting down in the exact same spot he was previously standing in. The cat curled up tightly against his abdomen, fast asleep with micro snores.
“Give him to me” Steve ordered.
As much as he didn’t want to separate the two, he had no idea how long Bucky had been out in that rain for, and he wanted him out of those clothes asap before he started sniffling.
Bucky gave Steve the cat and took the towel that was being handed to him.
“Where did you find him?” Steve asked, eyes solely focused on wrapping the poor thing in the towel, just slow enough not to wake it.
“In an alley.” Bucky mumbled; his face angled towards the floorboards. "Only heard him because I stopped to use my phone...I was trying to call you, but your phone must’ve been on silent, was probably for the best, I wasn’t really all there.”
“Why’d you try to call-”
“Anyways, he was in a box behind a couple bins. Thought you wouldn’t mind if I brought him back home.”
Bucky lifted his head only just enough to meet Steve's eyes. He passed a silent pleading message through them that Steve couldn’t help but agree too.
“Get out of your clothes, Bucky” Steve sighed.
Bucky's face lit up at the silent confirmation as he rushed to remove his boots. Steve's heart stumbled at the pure happiness that radiated off Bucky's face and had to quickly steel his involuntary lovey-dovey expression before Bucky stood up to look at Steve's face again.
“You really mean it?” He asked hopefully
“That I want you to take your clothes off, yes.” Steve responded. Wordlessly reassuring Bucky.
“Punk.” Bucky smiled.
Slapping Steve’s shoulder.
“Jerk”, Steve retorted.
After placing the now dry kitten onto his bed in the studio, Steve wandered back over to check up on Bucky. He paused halfway, stopping by the kitchen and eyeing the kettle.
“Tea, Coffee?” He called,
“I’m fine, Steve” Bucky moaned from the bathroom.
“Suit yourself”, he mumbled.
He continued making his way to Bucky’s bed and in a couple strides he lay down face flat into the pillows, only twisting to sit up when he heard Bucky open the bathroom door.
“Making yourself comfortable”, he smirked.
“What? Am I not allowed too? Thought it was our home.” Steve smugly replied.
His gaze immediately caught on the hickeys that were planted across Bucky’s neck, trailing down to his collar bone.
“...Some monster attack you?” Steve chuckled.
“Huh? -”
Bucky looked down at himself
“-Oh, yeah”, Bucky tittered as he sat on the edge of the bed next to Steve to remove his damp socks. Once he finally got them off, he stood up to remove the rest of his clothes, wrapping the towel around his waist and hovering in front of the wardrobe to retrieve a new set of clothes.
Once Steve was sure Bucky at least had boxers on he lifted his gaze to settle on Bucky again and then his breathing caught. Bucky had bruises forming around his waist in the shape of hands. Big hands.
“That Lady's got some pretty big hands.” Steve laughed nervously.
Steve looked down at his own hands, completely missing Bucky visibly tensing up, then slowly relaxing. Spinning around with a cocky smile he decided to play the façade.
“Scared the bejesus out of me when she put them on me, let me tell you that.” He huffed.
Steve looked up to release a small smile to Buck, praying that his inner emotions weren’t worn all over his face.
Bucky found a pair of pyjama bottoms he considered clean and put them on. He turned around again to Steve was looking at him with an unreadable expression in all his bed-headed glory and he just couldn’t deal with that right now. Pull yourself together. He told himself.
Steve didn’t know what he expected to happen next but before he knew it Bucky had thrown himself at Steve and was lying bare chested on-top of him. Steve release a strained breath that was caught on impact. Trying to calm his racing heart, now- ever so thankful that he decided to wear a shirt bed, as it was the only thing separating his skin from Bucky’s.
“Stay with me tonight?” Bucky mumbled into the crook on Steve’s neck.
Steve moaned, feigning reluctance. But Bucky didn’t back down easily. He began to nuzzle into Steve’s neck, tickling him with his eyelashes and fluttery exhales.
“Okay~ OK!” Steve laughed, surrendering easily. He crosses his arms around Bucky's back and pushed them upwards towards the head of the bed and onto their sides. Steve released his grip on Bucky and relaxed onto his back, huffing out a laugh.
“You’re a character, you know that?”
“I’ve got you to remind me every day.” Bucky chortled.
Minutes past with the two just lying there in comfortable silence. Once Steve felt sure enough that the odds Bucky had dosed off were almost definite, he let his head drop to the pillow to look at Bucky. Not expecting to end up locking eyes with the man.
His breath caught in his throat, but he released it as soon as he realized he’d caught it. causing him to accidentally release an embarrassing short whimper that he prayed went unnoticed.
Steve helplessly watched as Bucky's steel-blue eyes kept searching his face, for an answer to a question he didn’t know. After another minute or so he took a wild guess on what that question may be.
“Yes” Steve whispered.
Bucky’s heart squeezed and his insides turned. Did he absent-mindedly say his thoughts aloud? Was Steve agreeing to what he thought he was agreeing too? Was this really happening?
“What?” Bucky barely choked out, his heart felt like it was stuck in his throat and its beat was deafeningly loud in his ears accompanied by a faint ringing noise.
“Yes, we are keeping the cat. -”
Oh, Bucky chuckled to himself in his mind, stupid.
“-Tomorrow morning I'll go to the vet and get it checked up and registered.”
“You mean in a couple of hours?” Bucky quirked his eyebrow.
“Change that to afternoon. You coming with?”
“Think I'll just stay in bed all day.” Bucky said thoughtfully, snuggling further into himself.
“Alright...You thought of a name yet?”
“What? Oh, yeah...”
“Care to share or are you going to keep it to yourself?” Steve probed, propping himself up on his elbow.
“I'll tell you only because I like you... Alpine.” Bucky announced, smiling proudly to himself.
“Alpine’s not so bad-wait...Bucky which club did you go too?” Steve asked skeptically.
“...Jaeger Bricks-”
“OH.MY.GOD. Of course, you’d name the poor thing by the alley you picked it up from!” Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“Okay then, if you’re so smart why don’t you pick a name for it.” Bucky slurred defiantly.
"Not my cat, not my decision.” Steve responded calmly.
“Thank you, but then why did you ask for the name so abruptly?” Bucky squinted.
“Was gonna pick up a collar on the way back. Make a full day-or, well, afternoon out of it. As long as you would like me too that is...?”
“As long as you’re willing.” Bucky replied lazily, stifling a yawn.
Steve smiled to himself as he watched Bucky try and hide the fact he was slowly drifting off; little did he know Steve had known all his tell-tale signs in the first month after they’d met.
“Alright, time for bed big boy.” He verbalized, slapping Bucky on the shoulder and receiving a grunt in response.
Steve rolled himself off the bed and walked around to the other side to pull the sheets from underneath Bucky and pull them over him. It was a bit of a far reach since Bucky was stationed in the middle of the bed, but he managed.
Just as Steve was about to let go of the duvet Bucky pulled him in and wrapped his arms around Steve’s chest as he quickly covered the both of them. Swiftly he wrapped his leg around Steve’s thigh and dove his head into his clavicle.
Steve could've sworn his heart was about to jump out of his chest. It's not like him and Bucky hadn't cuddled together or shared a bed before. But things have changed within Steve, and thoughts and feelings that he used to conceal so well, were now failing to be suppressed and were rising to the surface too fast and too sudden for Steve to handle. Space would need to be something he needed otherwise things could get out of hand.
“Thought you were meant to be staying here with me tonight...” Bucky mumbled grumpily into Steve’s chest, his words reverbing and tickling Steve.
“I'm sorry, m’ not going anywhere Buck.” Steve chuckled into Bucky’s hair, wrapping his arms around Bucky and telling himself it was just the right thing to do for his friend who had been stuck under the unanticipated downpour for God knows how long.
“Stroke my hair” Bucky mumbled sleepily.
Steve didn’t reply and instead hesitantly raised his left hand to cradle Bucky’s head. Slowly, he started caressing Bucky’s scalp with the palm of his hand, then graduating to letting his fingers run through the slightly damp hair, smoothing out the forming tangles.
After a couple minutes he felt bolder and rested his chin atop of Bucky’s head. Bucky released a content sigh and back his head away from Steve’s chest to drive it into the side of his neck to snuggle in closer.
Oblivious to each other's thoughts; they both understood that they were yet again standing on the edge of a blurred line here. One they always found themselves dipping their toes comfortably on both sides of, but never wandered further on, in fear of what would happen if they went too far.
Terrified that if their actions that, at first, were done shamelessly in the darkness they had buried themselves inside of, suddenly came into light. Being revealed for what they truly are, they would lose each other.
Scared for the outcome of if they muttered those unspoken words and haunting whispers that they turned blind eyes and deaf ears towards unraveled themselves and were released out into the open. Vulnerable and unstable against the chaos.
Hesitant to cross that border that held their friendship within the boundaries of friendship, that was as thick as a hair strand. But truly... had they ever really established a boundary in their friendship? Had their walls ever been up around each other? Were walls ever planted to begin with?
For Bucky, it didn’t matter. The consequences of his selfishness could be dealt with when the time came to present itself. For Steve however, it sent his mind running a mile a minute. He couldn’t help but feel the dragon inside of him star to arise. Threatening to turn his peaceful life over in a second without warning.
Steve decides to block himself out of his mind and to just focus on the way he feels in the moment. The way his heart beats steady and full of contentment, the way his muscles have started to unwind and re-release the sleepiness that he had believed to be long gone just an hour ago. He focuses on Bucky’s steady, even breathing and the way his body heat radiates pleasantly against Steve’s. He finds his eyelids getting heavier and then his body succumbs to the pressure.
“Goodnight, Steve” Bucky whisper.
“Goodnight, Buck” Steve whispers back.