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If there’s a better way to tell this story, and Renjun is certain there is, he doesn’t know what it might be.
It’s not that he’s starting in the middle on purpose, but rather that he was already in the middle before he knew anything had even begun. So if we were to go back and try to pinpoint the start… well that’s the problem isn’t it: you can’t say when something started if you never knew yourself. So, he’s stuck here, in the middle and just catching up.
The middle, halfway to the end is here: in his stuffy flat, in his too hot bed, willing the wind to blow so he can cool down enough to finally sleep. He’s never been a particularly good sleeper, even his auntie and grandmother, who basically raised him, would say so when he went home and was found with a cup of tea in the wee hours of the morning because he couldn’t sleep.
“You never were a good sleeper for us, even as a baby. Things had to be just right.”
It was true: the lights had to be out but it couldn’t be pitch dark, he couldn’t be too cold or too hot, but he had to have a blanket, for the weight of it on his legs, to be comfortable.
Tonight it was too hot for a blanket and too hot for a cup of tea, and Renjun cursed his landlord again. For not updating this ancient building when he bought it in the 90s, already old the day he got the keys; for only using his brother-in-law for cheap labor despite the fact his experience being a handyman amounted to owning a tool belt he got second hand that had probably belonged to an actual handyman at some point; and finally, and most importantly in his opinion, for not returning his twelve phone calls, each with its own detailed message, about how the Kerrington Family down the hall were abusing the unit and it would go out in a few days if he didn’t finally replace it.
Now it was too late: the unit was dead and it was going to take ‘two more days… yes exactly Mr. Huang, now please stop asking’.
That was the long and the short of it though, why Renjun hadn’t been able to sleep, and what brought them to this moment in the middle of everything. He wasn’t asleep so when someone knocked, of course he heard it.
Very briefly, for just a moment, he's gripped with fear; the kind that immobilizes you. The person, or entity, whatever it may be, had knocked once, smartly, and it had terrified him but then there was another knock: tap tap.
Now he was able to move, fear quickly moving on to anger; who the fuck comes knocking at 1 am at someone else’s door? Under normal conditions he would have been asleep, but the knocking would have undoubtedly woken him. Without a second thought he got out of bed and stalked into his own living room, headed for the door, indignant speech forming in his mind when, knock knock knock.
A third knock, except now that he's standing here, he realizes the knock had come from behind him, at the balcony door. The balcony door that is five stories up with no fire escape or other reasonable explanation for how someone might have ended up there by mistake. The whole scene is like something out of a horror movie, but Renjun fucking hates horror movies, so nice fucking try!
He turns on his heel, marches to the sliding glass door, ignoring the slight shiver he gets seeing the shadowy silhouette of someone standing there and flips on the outdoor light. It illuminates the whole balcony in a wash of warm yellow and reveals the mysterious, potentially threatening, figure to be none other than his next door neighbor, Jaemin.
For a second, his mouth falls open and he forgets to be angry. He certainly hadn't seen that coming, though it makes more sense than a flying serial killer, which was going to be guess number one, followed closely by world's most polite burglar.
Renjun’s flat is C5A. Jaemin’s is C5B, and he’s only been living there for roughly six months, 19 days, and 6 hours…. Or something like that. When the viper tongued curmudgeonly woman who lived next door had finally been moved by her inexplicably kind children into a facility that better suited her needs (“You mean like a sanatorium?” “Uh, no a nursing a home.”) Renjun had inquired about renting that flat instead, hoping for better Feng Shui so his family would stop telling him to move, only for their landlord to reveal he’d already signed the new lease out to someone new; despite the fact that current renters were supposed to get first dibs.
(Which may not have been a technical rule but he thought should be common courtesy. When he’d said as much to his landlord, he’d replied that curtsying was for women.)
But there it is again, in the middle before you’ve even realized, breezing past the beginning, which this time at least was extremely obvious: Jaemin standing on his balcony in the dead of night.
“Jaemin?” His neighbor smiles genially and waves at him through the glass and there’s really nothing else to be done so he undoes the latch on the door and slides it open standing to one side so Jaemin can come in. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
It feels like a fair question, especially considering that even if everything isn’t okay, there would be virtually no reason for him to have shown up here, on Renjun’s balcony, for help. But Jaemin doesn’t rush in like something is wrong, in fact he sidles in, like he has all the time in the world. He enters and looks around appraisingly, despite the fact that there’s not much light so it’s difficult to see very well.
His apartment is pretty minimal, he likes a clean and calming space. Low-lying mid century style couch, with big wide cushions in a grayish blue, simple wooden coffee table, with a few table books on art, and entertainment center which houses his TV, decorative touches here and there, homemade ceramics from college, a tapestry from his favorite market and artworks by friends the most notable. As Jaemin looks around Renjun becomes hyper aware of everything, hoping it looks nice and clean; hoping it smells good. He takes a deep breath to check but he only gets the scent of the candle he’d been burning earlier, cedar and sage.
Suddenly a car honks in the distance, louder through the open door, and he comes back to his senses. Why would he be worried about impressing Jaemin right now— or at all for that matter?
“Jaemin? What’s going on, are you alright?” He asks again.
“Yeah, everything’s great!”
Renjun blinks at him, dumbly.
“Okay…”
“Why do you ask?” He says, moving further into the room, glancing back at Renjun to eye him quizzically.
Where to begin?
“Well, you just kind of showed up, in the middle of the night, unannounced and…” half naked, is what he almost says, noticing finally that Jaemin, similarly to him, is dressed in just underwear and a top. Plaid boxers and a t shirt that says Mickey Mouse Funhouse on it.
“And what?” Jaemin has made a circle all the way around the living room and back to Renjun now, standing in front of him closer than what Renjun would consider normal. Certainly closer than they’ve ever been before. “I just thought I might come over and…”
He trails off, shrugging before he continues, stepping even closer to Renjun.
“Get to know you better.”
Okay, well it’s fair enough that they don’t know each other very well, or at all for that matter. Jaemin had moved in in the dead of winter, and the frigid January conditions had Renjun in his deepest hibernation routine, so he hasn’t had much of a chance to know him. They’d properly met in the mail room, maybe two months ago, both of them picking up packages, and had made polite conversation while they waited for the tiresome teenager that worked there (another staggering nepotism hire by their landlord) to get their respective deliveries and that was the complete history of them knowing one another, unless you counted him randomly spotting Jaemin on occasion since, which you shouldn’t because he hadn’t been looking for him or anything it was just random. That was apartment living in the city
But, Renjun wasn’t stupid— he wasn’t born yesterday. So he knows exactly what Jaemin is implying, with his tone and his hazy bedroom eyes, he just can’t believe he’s actually implying it. He practically broke in, and now he’s standing here during the second longest interaction that they’ve had, clocking in at a whopping five minutes, and propositioning Renjun.
With sex !!
So yes, he did pick up what Jaemin was proverbially putting down, but the time it’s taking him to process just how ridiculous it is must make Jaemin think he hadn’t, because he uses his hand to tilt Renjun’s face toward his own.
“Don’t you want to get to know me better Renjun?” He leans in, moving Renjun’s head to the side and leaning down to whisper in his ear. “I’ve seen the way you look at me.”
He blushes, both at the touch and at having been caught gawking like a loser at Jaemin so much that he noticed.
“Don’t worry baby, I was looking at you too. How do you think I noticed?”
Jaemin steps completely into his space so they’re pressed together from chest to toe, his feet on either side of Jaemin’s. He smells incredible, clean but musky from the heat, just a hint of vanilla, and something else he can’t quite place. Renjun inhales deeply against his will, drinking it in.
It’s a fact that Renjun has not been getting to know anyone better, for quite some time. He’d been on a sort of anti-cuffing season tirade for a while which was good for him, probably, and allowed him to just focus on himself for a while but ultimately just meant he had been celibate for longer than he had been since he was 17 going on 18 and lost his virginity at prom to the French exchange student.
The heat is dizzying, only exacerbated by Jaemin’s smell and the lack of sleep; any number of things could be attributed to what comes next — but in the end it doesn’t matter, does it? Because who, under these circumstances, wouldn’t make the exact same questionable, slutty decision?
He looks up in Jaemin’s eyes, and Jaemin’s cocky smile shows he knew exactly what Renjun would say in the end. It occurs to him briefly that maybe this is a dream.
There’s nothing wrong with a little dream , he thinks.
“Yeah.” He nods, certain now that he's said it. “Okay.”
“Perfect.” Jaemin practically purrs the word and he wastes no time leaning in to kiss Renjun.
His lips are soft; soft and full, masterful. He coaxes Renjun’s mouth open with ease, licking into his mouth before nipping the tip of his tongue, and Renjun moans, knees going weak.
Jaemin chuckles at his reaction, pulling back for a second to look at him before he dives back in, kissing him harder now, his arms winding around Renjun’s waist and a leg sliding between Renjun’s to press against his rapidly hardening dick.
The pressure is delicious and he stands on tip toe to take advantage, putting his arms around Jaemin’s neck for support and shifting his hips as their kiss devolves and Jaemin pulls away and moves to Renjun’s neck, the softest part right under his ear. Licking and biting and kissing, like he wants badly to leave a mark.
“Fuck!” He says, the sensation making his stomach dip like he went over a hill too fast, a delicious spark of surprise.
Jaemin pulls back once more at his exclamation; the only light is the porch light, flooding in from behind them, and in it Jaemin’s eyes look almost black when his smile returns and he bites his own lip, looking like an actual demon sent to this plane to torture Renjun.
“Will you let me fuck you?” He asks, husky and breathless.
Renjun moans again in lieu of answering and Jaemin dives back in to kiss him, using his hold to drag Renjun backwards toward the bedroom, lifted enough that only the tips of his toes skim the ground. For a second he wonders how Jaemin knows where the bedroom is before remembering they're neighbors; Jaemin’s apartment is probably laid out exactly the same.
Halfway down the hall they get lost in their kissing, swaying in place to focus better, and Renjun uses the opportunity to push Jaemin solidly against the wall before jumping up and wrapping his strong little legs around Jaemin's hips. It’s been so long since the last time he was with anyone properly, the last hook up he’d had before his bout with abstinence had been lackluster in the most generous of terms. Some timid guy he’d found on an app, met at a bar, and brought back to his place who had tried to get it up for thirty minutes before admitting he needed a little blue pill that he’d left at home leaving Renjun shortly after with only his Hitachi wand and an immeasurable feeling of regret.
Jaemin is the exact opposite.
Renjun can already feel how hard he is, and he doesn’t hesitate, immediately putting his big, solid hands under Renjun’s thighs and on his ass, kneading him through the thin fabric. They stay there like that for a moment before Jaemin walks them the rest of the way into Renjun’s room, sitting him down and stripping him out of his clothes, first the tank top and then the underwear.
He strips his own shirt as Renjun falls back on the bed, using his elbows to drag himself toward the headboard, watching with hungry eyes the way Jaemin’s taut stomach flexes and he uses thick biceps and his same big hands to push down his boxers and reveal his dick. Renjun's mouth waters as he watches the solid 7 or so inches spring up, hard as a rock, no little blue pill required.
He’s so busy staring he doesn’t hear Jaemin asking where the lube is, forcing him to crawl onto the bed and cup Renjun’s cheek to pull his focus.
“Baby? Where’s the lube?”
Still somewhat dazed, he comes back to reality enough to point at the bedside table, then watch Jaemin’s muscles contract as he leans over to get it. When he leans back, he positions himself between Renjun’s spread legs, kneeling, broad and powerful in the low light. Another overwhelming wave of disbelief at his current situation passes over Renjun then, but the thought is banished when Jaemin slips a freshly lubed up finger between his cheeks, circling his hole to coat it before gently pressing it inside. The sting is good, tantalizing, and he can only moan high and loud in answer to it, before Jaemin is leaning down to kiss him quiet, sloppy and hot, as he slides it home.
Jaemin doesn't stop kissing him as he works him open, talking low when he pulls away for breath.
“You look so good like this. If a few fingers does this to you, I can’t imagine how you’ll be on my cock.”
Another moan, still high and breathy, leaves him against his will.
“Why don’t you get inside and find out?” He retorts, mustering all his remaining clarity to try get the words out in any way that doesn’t sound incredibly desperate.
It's Jaemin's turn to groan, but he doesn't waste time, reaching between them to line his cock up. The logical voice inside that prompts him to remind Jaemin to wear a rubber is whole heartedly ignored, both in favor of one of his more rarely indulged kinks and because he isn’t even sure he has any and he doesn’t want to risk not getting fucked like this, even if it means a little more risk. That’s one of the 80 million things making this the sexiest thing that’s ever happened to him: how dangerous he feels letting a man he barely knows into his bed, in him.
Jaemin braces his hand on Renjun’s hips as he slides in, watching Renjun’s face as his mouth falls open in a high moan. He has a sort of faraway look of pleasure in his eyes when he speaks.
“Knew you’d be tight like this, Jesus.”
The comment makes Renjun clench down, involuntary, and he can feel a flush spreading from his ears and down his chest. “Shit. Shit , Jaemin!”
“You’re loud though, didn’t know you’d be so loud.” He thrusts a few times, slow and shallow, and it makes a slick sound Renjun can hear perfectly, like it’s right next to his ear. “Thought maybe you’d get quiet when you finally got something inside you. But—“
He trails off and thrusts hard once, making Renjun moan again, loud and wanton.
“I guess you’re proving me wrong, huh?”
Jaemin’s hips snap hard against his ass, hands like a vice on Renjun’s waist, thumbs overlapping in the middle in a way that's dizzying to consider. His cock feels perfect inside Renjun and he relaxes into the pressure of it, making the slide that much easier. Jaemin looms above him, head thrown back only to loll forward again and stare at where he's disappearing inside Renjun over and over.
Renjun closes his eyes, worried if he watches too long or too closely, he’ll fall apart even more quickly than he already is, and he turns his head into the soft fabric of the bed, mouth falling open at a particularly hard thrust.
Jaemin does it again, then again, setting a brutal pace that has Renjun starting to drool. Probably not sexy, so he reaches up to wipe at it, but Jaemin catches his hand, then takes the other one, falling forward to pin his arms above his head, but his thrusts don't stop, getting harder and deeper now. His body blankets Renjun’s, and the smell is back, that intoxicating smell, nearly suffocating him as Jaemin’s sweat damp skin slides against his.
“Jaemin, I— I’m gonna come.”
He can barely get the words out, the heat and the force of Jaemin’s thrusts taking his breath, or maybe it’s that Jaemin is right in his face and they're just exchanging air; out of Jaemin’s lungs into Renjun’s, out of Renjun and into Jaemin.
His eyes are rolling back in his head, and the heat is wound tight in his belly, his dick hard and aching, leaking over his stomach. Jaemin keeps one hand on Renjun’s wrists and uses the other to wrap around his dick, jerking slowly and playing with the head.
“Then come baby.” He says, and kisses Renjun again, all spit and teeth. One good swipe over his head, in time with Jaemin’s cock head against his prostate, his teeth sinking into Renjun’s bottom lip, and he comes all over himself.
Renjun is shaking, moaning, as the thrusts start to slow, his wrists are released so he can wrap arms around Jaemin as he kisses him. Always kissing him. God it feels good.
He pulls back, slipping out of Renjun’s hole, and in the dim light of the room, he can see Jaemin’s damp bangs, flush cheeks, and his eyes, still hungry, move over his naked body, covered in come.
He moves from Renjun’s mouth to his neck again, and the sensitivity he feels with Jaemin’s tongue and teeth on his jugular, the dips of his collarbone, makes his hole clench, his dick twitch, and his legs clamp around Jaemin’s hips.
Jaemin ignores all that though, like a man possessed he works his way down to Renjun’s nipples, lapping over them, and the feeling is so intense he barely notices when Jaemin slips his fingers back inside. Fingering him slowly as he moves from nipple to nipple, adding another finger when he moves to Renjun’s stomach, licking up the remnants of his come that hasn’t smeared off between them. When he starts lapping over the head of his cock, and adds a third finger, Renjun eyes start to well up.
It’s too much for his oversensitive body but he doesn't have the heart to stop him, the pain and the pleasure too similar to tell a difference with his mind so foggy, and he welcomes both. The vague realization that this might be some of the best sex he’s ever had hits him, but he pushes it aside to just feel.
He’s chubbing up again, growing hard under Jaemin’s tongue and that must have been what he was waiting for because he stops then, and Renjun’s eyes fly open. There’s a plea on the tip of his tongue when Jaemin slips his fingers out and flips Renjun onto his front, knocking the words back.
Before he can get his bearings Jaemin is tugging him up onto his knees, hips flush against Renjun’s ass, and his cock resting on the small of Renjun’s back. He can feel the precome leaking from the tip and mixing with his own sweat in the divots on either side of the base of his spine.
“Gonna fuck you again.” He says, then he does it. Leaning back and line himself up before thrusting inside with one swift motion, and Renjun’s mouth falls open in a moan.
Jaemin’s pace is almost violent as he rams his cock inside, nailing Renjun’s prostate over and over; the tears that had welled up come again, spilling out as Jaemin’s nails dig into the soft skin of his waist.
“My turn now baby, but I still want you to come again. Just one more time. You can, right?”
He whines and Jaemin slows for a moment, leaning down to snake his arms under Renjun, pulling him up so they’re back to front before picking up the pace again, bouncing Renjun in his lap like a doll, kissing his neck, licking and biting to mark up the side opposite the one he had earlier— and forget ‘might be ’ this is beyond a shadow of the doubt the best fucking sex Renjun has ever had.
He bites particularly hard, low where Renjun’s neck and shoulder meet, and he comes again, instantly, gasping through it.
“That’s it, love the way you clench up like that. Feels so fucking good.” He punctuates each word, So. Fucking. Good. with a thrust, and then finally buries himself inside and comes with a guttural groan, sounding less than human, but completely satisfied. He holds onto Renjun who is shaking in his hold, dick spurting out a little more come at the sensation of being filled; of one orgasm after the other. Jaemin lets Renjun grip him as tight as he needs, and he can feel Jaemin’s smile as he kisses behind his ear.
They only separate when Renjun starts grinding his ass onto Jaemin's soft dick, subconsciously, come leaking out his hole around it, and Jaemin chuckles, whispering in Renjun’s ear ‘ Be careful baby, or I’ll have you again.’ Renjun scrambles off his cock then, the idea too tempting, and in desperate need of some form of rest before tomorrow.
They collapse on Renjun’s completely decimated bed after that, both too exhausted to have a real conversation, but they manage the basics: Did you have fun? Abso-fucking-lutely. Are you going to stay? Yes. Where are your washcloths? Under the counter.
It’s almost three in the morning by the time they’re both settled, laying without any blankets but with Renjun’s sheet folded back up to cover the mess underneath. He falls asleep to one last wide smile from Jaemin, blinking until his vision fades to black.
Reality settles in first thing in the morning, carried on the back of a gentle breeze through the open window, and accompanied by the shrill alarm on his nightstand. He doesn’t even need to look around to know that Jaemin isn’t there, not because he thinks it truly was a dream (he’s too sore for that to be true), but because it’s early Monday morning and he probably has work, just like Renjun. It had been a vague thought he’d processed just as he drifted off last night and snapped into place as soon as he opened his eyes.
The weather cooling off means that a warm shower feels heavenly, and he takes his time washing away the filth from last night, drying off thoroughly before dressing in a loose t-shirt and linen pants. In the bathroom mirror he assesses the damage, but luckily none of the marks are as bad as expected, though still obvious enough that if he wanted to cover them he’d have to use make-up, serious shit he hasn’t bought since college, when he never actually needed it but had a lot of fun using anyways. Thankfully, he’s his own boss and he doesn’t have to worry so much, plus it’s a back of house day, which means the actual shop is closed and no one but his employees will see him.
Before he dries his hair he texts Donghyuck.
I’m running a little late, can you get the coffee this morning
What am I?? Made of money??
You don’t pay me enough
For the last time, the bank made a mistake! You know that
Besides, keep your receipt and I’ll reimburse you
🙄
Yes your majesty
He ends up making it but only by a minute or so, and he sees Donghyuck and Yangyang both waiting for him outside the shop when he rounds the corner from the station.
Flowered Up! is on the corner of a residential street before you get to the shops on the next road. The terrace houses on either side are like pastel rainbow, shades of pink and yellow, orange and green; and while the shop's facade is simple white wash, the flowers in the windows and in the long rectangular beds out front are bright to match the rest of the street.
His employees (And yes, fine— friends!) look bored waiting for him; Yangyang is sitting on the edge of the step leading into the shop, scrolling aimlessly through his phone and picking at a loose thread in the knee of his Adidas pants, that perfectly match the jacket he’s wearing, both a sort of reddish purple shade, and his sneakers are bright blue. Donghyuck is leaning on the wall beside him, and he’s dressed more appropriately for the weather at least, in jean shorts with too many rips and a grey t-shirt, but the idea of a work dress code does skitter through his thoughts as he approaches, serving as, if nothing else, a way to ignore the nervous energy building in him the closer he gets. That sort of juvenile thing, the jitters you feel walking around freshly fucked, knowing you’ve had sex and like everyone else does too; simultaneously dreading being perceived and having to stop yourself from telling every person you pass.
He thinks that it’s probably ridiculous and a little arrogant, to think anyone is even paying attention enough to tell… that is until Donghyuck spots him and his mouth drops open in an exaggerated look of shock, shaking his head a little so his sunglasses slip down and he can peer out over them to gawk at Renjun.
“Oh. My. God.”
Renjun rolls his eyes, teetering off the edge of shyness and into the deep well of his annoyance with Donghyuck which, despite how close they are, is cavernous in scope.
“Huang Renjun!”
Yangyang looks up sharply, eyes darting between Donghyuck and Renjun. “What? Why are you saying his name like that?”
Donghyuck glances down at Yangyang like, ‘ Hello?’
“Just look at him!”
Renjun is right on top of them now, canvas bag on his shoulder and keys dangling in his hands. Yangyang looks up to study him, but either the angle or his poor observational skills fail him.
“I don’t get it.”
“Yangie honey, please.” He huffs and turns back to Renjun. “Our little boss baby got laid last night!”
Renjun shoves past them to the door, trying to hide the smile on his face, and Yangyang stands up to follow them both inside.
“How can you tell?”
“He’s fucking glowing.”
“Wouldn’t it be fuck glowing?”
“Oh, shut up!” He hands Renjun his iced coffee and throws his shit on the ground by the front desk. “The point is, Mr. Men-are-evil, celibacy is transforming my life, marriage is a prison blah blah, got fucked last night!”
The glee in Donghyuck’s voice would insinuate that he was the one who got fucked last night, not the other way round. Though, Renjun supposes, he very well could have. Donghyuck must be expecting him to say something because there’s a beat of silence where they're all just looking at each other.
“Well are you going to deny it?” He asks, when he doesn't speak, and Renjun shrugs.
“Depends. Will that make you work harder today?”
“Absolutely not.”
Yeah, probably should have seen that one coming. He sighs, dramatically.
“Fine. Yes I got fucked last night. It was incredible and there are so many juicy details, I wouldn’t even know where to start." Yangyang makes a face halfway between interested and grossed out, while Donghyuck might as well be literally salivating. “But you’re only going to get them if you finish the back-order log.”
Donghyuck’s groan is loud and obnoxious, but nevertheless he goes to do as he’s told.
“This better be the best sexy story evvvver.” He throws over his shoulder.
Renjun takes a deep breath and thinks of all there is to tell and feels himself blush, but luckily Donghyuck is already pulling out the files for next month's orders and doesn’t see.
“Trust me, you don’t want to miss it.” He retorts, and goes to work himself.
They break around 12:30, and Yangyang volunteers to pick up the sandwiches down the street so he can avoid all the gory details. The gory details that have left one Lee Donghyuck speechless, staring at the ceiling from the window seat, hands in his hair.
“There is no way that fucking happened.”
“You saw the hickeys, you know I’m not lying.”
Donghyuck sits up then, like a cartoon vampire. “Yeah and you’re too lame to make all that up.”
He throws a wilted flower head at him.
“What? It’s true. You should be thankful, what kind of freak just comes up with that shit?”
Renjun shrugs. “I guess.”
“Are you guys chill though? I mean he just left!” He shakes his head. “If it were me, I would be going crazy.”
Renjun shrugs. It’s not like they professed their undying love to each other or anything, he isn’t even 100% sure what Jaemin’s last name is because of the sloppily written label on his mailbox in the lobby. Yes, it was mind numbingly good, but he didn’t want to set any unrealistic expectations from an encounter that he couldn’t have even fathomed happening. So he powers past the thought.
“Yeah because Mark Lee would really do that to you— break into the house you bought together, fuck you, then leave.”
He rolls his eyes at Renjun but he’s got a smug smirk on his face all the while.
“Well yeah, I married the guy because he would literally never hurt me or any other person, animal, or even thing in the world on purpose.”
“Exactly, so you don’t have to worry.”
The door unlocks and the bell sounds from the other room.
“That will be Yangyang with the food.”
Donghyuck says, getting up from his spot to go help him while Renjun stays at his desk, reviewing a mood board spread for a client who is trying to order thirty topiary squirrels in all the colors of the rainbow.
The rest of the day passes easily with little more mention of Renjun’s late night rendezvous except for an obnoxious wink Donghyuck sends him when they’re locking up around five.
“Go get your man.” He says.
Renjun doesn’t know about that. He and Jaemin may have fucked but they were acquaintances before that, practically strangers. As he rides the train home he contemplates: could there be something more between them?
First off, the sex was amazing. Top tier, miraculous, quit your job and sell your flat to take up residence on his dick, good. It wasn’t just a pump and dump, get your rocks off thing, it was actually incredible sex and that was hard to come by these days. Especially if you had gone through a ringer of a break up, several awful hook ups and then sworn off men for half a year.
So that was one piece of the puzzle, check!
The chemistry between them wasn’t just sexual though it was intellectual, emotional chemistry as well. Though they had been few and far between, anytime he had run into Jaemin in the halls since they met had resulted in a generally pleasant moment of banter. Which felt even rarer than the good sex.
A man who could joke about something other than the weather, look you in the eye, and actually listen critically and respond? The bar is in hell, but Jaemin far exceeded it.
So he figured— if he even wanted it— it was the kind of initial chemistry that could be built upon and that meant he wouldn’t get bored with Jaemin. He'd probably feel seen and heard and have fun. So second thing: sorted!
Which left, well actually a good many things to consider, but the most important of those was if he wanted a relationship right now. If he would consider attempting to pursue something with Jaemin now that the uh… door had been opened, so to speak. As he exits the train, gathering his bags and the parcel of spare blooms that were on their last leg from the shop, he asks himself and is only a little surprised to find that the answer is yes.
The air in the underground is dry, with an acrid smell that floods his senses as he weaves his way through the crowd feeling more giddy than he strictly should, smiling to himself on the escalator and as he moves through the electronic turnstile.
The walk from the station isn’t terribly long and he always cuts through the park on the way, north along the marshy edge of the massive lake; the world’s biggest duck pond. From there he crosses the street, makes a left and is at his building not even five minutes later.
Now that all the rest is figured out the only thing left to do is to ask Jaemin what he thinks, or maybe just out for a drink? Best to start small.
Lucky for him the guesswork of when he’ll get the chance to talk to him is taken out of the process when he finds Jaemin in the lobby waiting on the lift, bottle of olive oil in his hands.
“Jaemin, hey!”
He smiles, and receives one in return. He’s always struck by how beautiful Jaemin’s smile is, like a fairytale prince. Even last night when he was smiling in a less friendly, more predatory way, all his teeth on display, Renjun found himself completely enthralled by it.
“Oh, Renjun. Hello!”
Renjun sidles up to stand by him, giving him the subtlest of once overs like maybe he too would carry some physical sign of the night they spent together, but he just looks immaculate. He’s wearing a white button down and jeans and a lightweight jacket in cognac suede. The color makes his eyes seem warmer than they had been last night, less predatory; or maybe that’s the change in venue.
“How are you?” He asks, smiling back, and he can’t help the way his voice goes softer, lower. Trying to pull Jaemin closer with his voice alone, and maybe a part of him feels illicit thinking about the night before, and it only feels right to use hushed tones.
“I’m good. Great even!”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, absolutely.” The elevator arrives and Jaemin motions for him to go ahead, following close behind. “What about you?”
“I’m great. I—“ He cuts himself off, nerves overwhelming him for a second. “I was actually wondering if—“
“Hey! Wait up!”
The doors had started to close but at the call outside Jaemin reaches a hand out to stop them, setting off the censor and pausing their movement so the person outside can dash in. It’s a woman, not as tall as Jaemin but taller than Renjun much to his chagrin. She’s wearing a cozy white sweater and a long skirt and she’s flushed from the running and the cold, a knit bag over her shoulder.
“I can’t believe you didn’t wait. You’re such a jerk!”
For a moment he is confused about who she’s speaking to, but he knows it can’t be him because he’s never seen her before. Which of course, only leaves Jaemin, who is laughing at her softly.
“You took ages! I was just going to go back and make sure my apartment was still intact.”
Renjun chances another glance at the beautiful woman in front of him. She has an angular face, full features, and if she had suddenly transformed into a magic fairy in front of his eyes he couldn’t say it would have shocked him. She seemed to be glowing, lit from within; and like any incredibly sad jealous person, he felt a twinge of dislike toward her.
He glances between them where their shoulders are pressed together, waiting for an introduction that he fears won’t come. But then the girl notices him staring and he puts on a polite smile, stepping back a bit as she nudges Jaemin looking at Renjun then back.
“Jaemin? Introductions?”
His eyes widen, and his head whips back toward Renjun who smiles sheepishly. “Oh shit, right, sorry!”
“Renjun, Karina. Karina, Renjun.” He motions between them like they wouldn’t know who was who. “Karina’s my girl friend, and Renjun is my neighbor!”
Karina’s eyes light up as Jaemin finishes. “Your neighbor! Of course! Wow.”
Renjun wishes he could return her enthusiasm but he’s too busy trying not to freak out. Karina is Jaemin’s girlfriend? Jaemin has a girlfriend… he fucked Renjun last night and he has a fucking girlfriend ?
FUCK!
His breath is coming short and quick but he manages to keep some semblance of cool, reaching out to take her proffered hand and shake it. Even her hand is pretty, smooth skin and glossy nails with pointy tips in a sparkly blue, and it only increases his shock and fury, inducing an urge to throw up all over both of them.
“It’s so good to meet you.” She says.
“Likewise.” He lies.
As their hands start to drop she tightens her grip briefly, leaning into Jaemin’s side and peering at the bruises on Renjun’s neck.
“Goodness me! You’ve got a proper animal on your hands I suppose then? Boyfriend?”
Jaemin smacks her arm but doesn’t say anything, and he supposes how can he unless he’s planning on a break up before they reach their floor.
Renjun just shakes his head, blushing bright red. “You know, no. Actually I thought maybe he could be, but I actually just found out I’m just a side piece, so.”
Karina’s eyes widen, filled with genuine sympathy and Renjun feels the misplaced hate dissipate, it’s not her fault.
“Men are pigs.” She swipes her thumb over the back of his hand, and the gesture genuinely warms him. “I’m so sorry that happened.”
He smiles at her, for real this time.
“It’s okay. We barely knew each other and I know there are bigger and better things on the horizon for me.”
He glances at Jaemin who looks just as sorry as Karina and Renjun fights the urge to roll his eyes.
“Damn right!” She says.
The doors slide open then and they file out, going to their separate doors.
“Have a good night Renjun!” Jaemin says once the door is unlocked, and Renjun pulls out his own key.
He wants to tell Jaemin to get fucked, but Karina is still right there so he just nods curtly.
“Thanks! You all too. And it was great to meet you, Karina.”
The first thing he does is kick off his shoes and pour himself a drink, vodka soda on ice, heavy on the vodka light on soda.
Normally he would put his things away, shower, maybe start dinner or put in a takeaway order, but now he just takes his drink over to his couch and sits heavily. He hasn’t turned any lights on yet and this time of day the sun is still shining but the high bright light of the afternoon has faded into something mellow and a bit dull.
When he finishes the first drink he gets a second and goes right back to the spot. He toys with the idea of calling Donghyuck, but they’ve got Mark’s daughter this week and he probably doesn’t have time for a panicked phone call right now and honestly he isn’t panicked, not really. Sure he’s mad and confused, but he is a free agent; He didn’t do anything wrong, Jaemin did.
It sounded simple but certainly didn’t feel like it.
Eventually he does get up, orders food from the little Vietnamese place down the road and eats it in a blanket cocoon on the couch, watching season two of the Italian food show Stanley Tucci hosts.
Stanley Tucci would have never treated me like this, He thinks. Though in retrospect he probably wouldn’t have minded so much, especially if he spoke Italian the whole time.
After he cleans up, storing the leftovers and sorting the trash and recycling and wiping the drips of broth off his coffee table, he texts Donghyuck around 8, telling him he has an update for his next shift, and then turns his phone off for the night.
He leaves it charging in the kitchen and then makes one last drink before heading to the bathroom. He showers, and when he gets out the mirror and his glass are fogged up, dripping with condensation; he puts on essence and moisturizer and eye cream before wrapping a towel around his waist and going to open all the windows again to cut the stuffiness.
The only lights he has on are his closet and the bedside table lamp closest to the door, his side of the bed. Not that there is anyone to share it with, or apparently ever will be if his luck continues.
He doesn’t bother with clothes tonight, finishes his drink then pads naked to the bathroom to rinse the glass and fill it with cool tap water before going back to sit on the edge of the bed, toweling his hair.
He had changed his sheets before he left this morning and he’s thankful now as he pushes the quilt off and slides under the sheet, and lays back on the pillow. The cool shower and his lack of clothing with the gentle breeze, work in tandem with his three drinks to lull him swiftly onto sleep, ignoring the missing ideal conditions. It only takes a few minutes for everything to fade to black and for him to finally be at peace.
Tap.
Tap, tap.
He wakes completely, all at once. In his dream he’d heard a sound, knuckles on glass, just as he had the night before. It was ridiculous of course, there was no way that Jaemin would be deluded enough to—
Tap, tap. Tap!
Renjun rolls onto his back and waits with bated breath. Sure he’s imagining things, or maybe he’s still sleeping?
Tap.
Tap.
Tap.
He sits up and throws off the sheet, grabs his robe from his closet and a pair of underwear from the dresser, putting them on before moving quickly to the living room, switching on a lamp and staring in shock as Jaemin comes into view, standing plain as day at the glass sliding door on Renjun’s balcony. His mouth falls open in shock before he comes to his senses and stalks the rest of the way across the room.
Jaemin stares at him through the clear partition that separates them and after a minute or so of that he smiles that same sort of predatory smile.
“Hey.” He says.
Hey. Hey?!
“Jaemin, what are you doing here?” He tries to remain neutral but the full intensity of his rage bleeds like venom into his words.
“I came to see you. Will you let me in?”
His face remains placid, hungry, like this afternoon had never happened and Renjun’s shock worsens, tenfold.
“Are you kidding me? The only way you’re coming inside is if you explain yourself.”
“Let me in and I will. Please?”
Renjun takes a deep breath, and he wants to be the kind of strong capable person who can simply take the high road blah blah, but the truth is he’s too curious for his own good and he’d rather let Jaemin in against his better judgment and know the truth than seem righteous.
He glances up at Jaemin again, making big puppy eyes at him before unlatching the door, cursing himself for being a little bitch, and pulling it open.
Jaemin stays in the doorway for a brief second, pleading look replaced with a more incredulous one, almost like he can’t believe that Renjun actually let him in, before pushing himself out of his casual lean and into the apartment.
Renjun slides the door shut behind him, turning back to ask for an explanation, only to find himself wrapped up in the vice grip of Jaemin’s arms.
“Jaemin! What are you doing?” He plants his hands on Jaemin’s chest trying to stop him from reaching Renjun’s lips where he was diving in for a kiss.
“I want you.” He whispers, moving instead to nuzzle Renjun’s neck.
“What about your girlfriend?”
Hello? Remember her? You introduced us like… three hours ago?
“What about her?” He pushes Jaemin off and curses the part of himself that misses whatever he’d been doing to the soft skin of his throat and stalks away, toward the couch to sit down.
“Well, she exists for one thing.”
Jaemin only hovers for a moment before he follows Renjun, sitting right beside him. He’s wearing another t-shirt boxer short combo, each with cats on them, and the skin off his leg presses warm and tacky into Renjun’s.
“So what? I want you, baby.”
He takes Renjun’s hands in his own, tilting their bodies so despite their close proximity they’re facing each other just slightly. He reaches up to cup Renjun’s cheek and then leans forward and kisses Renjun fast enough he can’t rebuff, lips puckering back out of reflex a second too late. At least that’s what he tells himself.
“Jaemin, what are you doing?” He whispers.
He doesn’t answer and instead rubs rough hands over Renjun’s thighs, and the touch is tantalizing. At this distance he can smell that same intoxicating scent, and it takes him back to yesterday, the way Jaemin handled him, all the things they did.
He’s so caught up in the memory that he doesn’t feel it when Jaemin pulls his legs apart and hooks Renjun’s left over his right so he can get at the supple skin of his thighs.
What he does feel is Jaemin slipping his fingers under the bottom edge of his briefs, running his fingers over the delicate area where his hips and thighs meet, hot from the insulation of the fabric and his breath catches in his throat.
“Jaemin, stop.”
Jaemin looks up at him, smirking. “You want me to baby?”
“Yes!"
They’re misunderstanding each other because Jaemin grabs his other leg, slides an arm around his tiny waist and then pulls him so he’s straddling Jaemin’s lap. His erection is rock solid against Renjun’s own quickly hardening dick, and he grinds down to feel it before he realizes what he’s doing.
“Wait, Jaemin, no.” He shakes his head weakly, half hearted. “I meant yes stop, not yes I want you to fuck me.”
“Hmmm” Jaemin seems to be pondering what he said. “But you do right? Want me to fuck you?”
He grabs Renjun’s hips and pulls them down to meet his filthy thrust upwards, and the pressure on his cock has him whining.
“N-no. You have a girlfriend, Jaemin!” His hands hand been resting on Jaemin’s shoulders, not exactly fighting him off or anything, but he pulls himself out of his dirty sex crazed mind for a moment and plants them, pushing him as if to do exactly that, but Jaemin uses one big strong hand to grab both of Renjun’s wrists.
Not for the first time he curses the fact that he is built like a baby bird, but is also unable to deny the that size difference is enough to strike him dumb again as Jaemin takes his captured hands and places them around his neck, secured at the nape so he’s forced to lean closer into Jaemin.
Their chests are practically plastered together and he can feel Jaemin’s breath on his face, and even that smells sweet, like mint and candy.
“Hey, Renjunnie, baby. Who cares about her?” He licks over Renjun’s lips. “C’mon. Be honest.”
He licks over Renjun’s lips again but this time Renjun licks out too and their tongues meet, wet and hot just for a moment. It’s not really a kiss. Not like it could be, but it still feels good still, better almost.
All the while Jaemin hasn’t stopped grinding his hips, Renjun’s body following the rhythm from his place in his lap, and he wants to scream because at this moment Jaemin is right. He has gone from sensible decent human bean to complete slut in minutes, and he doesn’t care about Jaemin’s girlfriend, can’t even remember her name as Jaemin pulls his hair, moving his head to one side so he can kiss up Renjun’s neck.
“Come on baby, tell me. You want me to fuck you, right?” Renjun moans into the touch. “I know you do. I know you want me too.”
He works his way to Renjun’s jaw and then he’s licking over his lips again and Renjun is licking back, before he connects their lips in the first real kiss of the night, moaning and grinding hips as he feels the wet patch on the front of his briefs grow.
Every inch of his skin feels electric right now, and Jaemin is moaning too. “Tell me baby. Tell me to fuck you and I will. All you have to do is ask.”
He kisses him quiet then pulls off, staring into his eyes. They’re dark again, bottomless, and Renjun knows the longer he stares into them the less likely he will be to ever find his way out again, so he stops looking and stops fighting what he wants so badly.
“Fuck me. Fuck me Jaemin, please.”
Jaemin maneuvers them both up, and they take turns stripping their few clothing items off in between frantic kisses. Once he’s naked, Jaemin flips Renjun around so they’re back to front again and he can feel Jaemin’s cock poking around his lower back and his ass, but he wraps arms around him, kissing the top of his back as he grasps his cock.
“I’m gonna go get your lube okay baby?”
“Wait, not yet. Please.”
His legs are squirming and he gyrates his ass back, feeling crazy, because even though Jaemin is right there, all over him it doesn’t feel close enough. He tilts his head up to one side so Jaemin can kiss him wet and sloppy, the sensation is timed perfectly with Jaemin’s thumb pressing into his cock head, and he groans.
“I won’t even be gone a minute.” He walks them forward and then pushes Renjun until he’s bent over the arm of the couch, kneeling on the cushion. “Just wait right here, just like this okay?”
Renjun is grateful then, for the stuffiness and heat in his apartment as he waits, exposed, though he isn’t sure he’s feeling that or the heat they’re making.
True to his word Jaemin is back in roughly thirty seconds and he kneels behind Renjun to start fingering him, he’s still stretched a bit from yesterday so it doesn’t take much work to get him loose and wet enough for Jaemin to toss the lube bottle to one side.
“Is this okay?” He asks, and Renjun could sob.
“Yes, perfect. Just fuck me .”
He chuckles softly. “As you wish.”
He pushes Renjun down so he’s literally hanging over the arm of the sofa, ass perched in the air, and then slides in with a grunt. The angle is extreme, and he hits Renjun’s prostate immediately sending pleasure up his spine, just this side of tight so that it hurts a little too and he can feel the precome beading up.
“Oh my god.”
Jaemin’s hands are at the tops of his thighs, he’s too far bent for him to get a hold of his hips, and he uses the leverage to pull out and then pound back in. He sets a steady pace, thrusting hard and deep inside Renjun over and over.
“So glad you want this too. Does it feel good?”
“Yes, fuck!” It does feel good, just as good as yesterday. Better even.
“Good.” He says, drawing out the syllables a little, the way you might if you were tipsy. “Feels good to be inside you baby. Just right for me.”
His dick is pressed into the fabric of the couch, and as Jaemin continues fucking him the friction has his aching to come. The pressure builds and so does his voice, as he lets out little ‘ah, ah, ah’ noises in times with Jaemin’s thrusts, the louder he gets the more smug Jaemin becomes.
“Oh! Oh fuck!” He’s practically yelling, but he can’t remember how to speak normally anymore. “Jaemin, I’m gonna come. Fuck, fuck—“
Then he’s being yanked back into Jaemin’s lap as Jaemin sits back on his heels, pulling Renjun tight against him. His cocked is buried deep, resting against Renjun’s prostate, a constant pressure, and Renjun can’t help the tears that fall.
Jaemin is shushing him, hands all over now that he can reach, tweaking his nipples before wrapping around him to hold him tight and stop him moving. He turns Renjun’s head to him and kisses him over his shoulder.
“Come on baby, it’s okay.” He whispers between kisses.
“I was so close. I was about to come.”
He keeps kissing Renjun, and the taste is salty from the tears. “You’ll come, I’m still gonna make you come baby, okay? But you were getting so loud.”
Renjun makes a frustrated noise, wiping furiously at his face.
“So?”
“So,” he laughs, kissing Renjun again. “I thought you were worried about my girlfriend? Huh?”
He starts grinding his hips up and Renjun gasps, stomach dipping at the reminder of what they’re doing. Jaemin is cheating on his girlfriend with him, fucking him senseless while she likely lays next door asleep.
“Are you still worried? Or do you want her to hear huh?” He licks into Renjun’s mouth and he can’t help but whine. “Want her to know you’re full of my cock, making me feel so good?”
Renjun bounces, once, twice; it’s probably awful but the words make him feel competitive, and he wants to be the one who makes Jaemin feel the best. He leans into Jaemin and kisses him long and deep.
“That’s it baby. Forget about her, it’s just me and you now okay?” He presses his forehead in Renjun’s and keeps it there even as Renjun nods in agreement.
“Just me and you.” He repeats, and works hips hips, too fucked out to ride Jaemin properly and he smiles when Jaemin maneuvers so they’re seated, he on the couch and Renjun on him, and he starts working his own a little harder to make up for it. “You’re so good like this, so good baby.”
Positioned on Jaemin’s lap like this his feet don’t reach the floor, despite how low the couch is, and instead they dangle just above, heels hitting Jaemin’s bare calves occasionally with the force of their movement. He presses his thighs together and puts his arms over Jaemin’s on his waist. He pauses their kissing to let his head fall back on Jaemin’s shoulder.
“Close again, I’m gonna come.”
Jaemin squeezes him tighter, licking up his throat and kissing the side of his face. “Go on then, show me.”
He comes, untouched, like Jaemin’s words were a command, shaking and moaning.
“Perfect baby, you’re so perfect. Can I keep going or do you need me to stop?”
At first all he can do is grunt in response, beyond the ability to speak, but Jaemin starts to slow down when he doesn’t say anything, so he pulls his head back up and takes a breath.
“Keep going. Please.”
Jaemin doesn’t wait for anything else, moving his arms from Renjun’s waist to hold his legs up against his chest, folding his basically in half, and making it easier for him to go faster, fuck him harder; using brute strength to move Renjun up and down on his cock at an unrelenting pace.
Renjun nearly screams, but he’s so tired it comes out choked, breathless but obviously desperate. He can see their shadowy figures on the black screen of his TV, and he thinks about what it must look like from that perspective. Jaemin’s thick cock swallowed up by his hole over and over, the lube that must be leaking out with each thrust and he thinks about Jaemin’s come doing that, leaking out and dripping from his hole into Jaemin’s lap, the way he’d felt it last night, and suddenly he needs it even more than he did five seconds ago.
“Please come. I want you to come inside Jaemin, please.”
Jaemin makes a sound not unlike a gasp and his hips stutter as he does just that moments later. The feeling is better than Renjun had remembered, warm and wet and so fucking filthy as Jaemin thrusts a few more times to the point of everything gushing out, just like he’d wanted. After a minute or so Jaemin releases his legs and lets him lay back against his chest.
They stay like that for a while before Renjun finally climbs off Jaemin’s soft cock, scurrying to the bathroom to tidy himself up. When he comes back Jaemin has passed out on the sofa. He’s laying sprawled out and he’s wiped himself off with a shirt if the way it’s crumpled and stained look on the ground is anything to go by.
He’s so tired, so he understands that Jaemin couldn’t wait before falling asleep, though he had hoped they might go lay down together; if anything he had expected Jaemin to be scrambling back to his apartment now that his secret about being in a relationship was out.
God, he thinks. Jaemin is in a relationship… What has he done? He wipes a hand over his face and tries to shake the thought off. He can panic tomorrow, but for now he needs to sleep, so he goes back to the couch to grab the throw blanket folded up on the back.
He unfolds it, laying it over Jaemin, meaning to let him rest before he goes on to his bed but when he moves to turn away, a hand wraps around his wrist, stopping him before loosening the grip and taking his.
“Stay.” Jaemin must be a light sleeper, like him, because his eyes are barely open but he’s clearly talking to Renjun.
He presses his thumb into Renjun’s birthmark. “Please stay.”
Renjun climbs onto the couch with Jaemin, who holds the blanket open for him as he settles in, and nestles back into Jaemin’s warm embrace, comfortable and calm. Safe.
How can something that feels so good, be wrong?
Once again he wakes up to find Jaemin has disappeared, and he honestly isn’t surprised. It’s surreal, how similar the morning passes: wake up, shower, get ready— at least today he’s woken on time, having finished at a semi decent hour the night before.
The thought of last night, errant as it was, burns him up, not with pleasure as it had the day before but shame. White hot and suffocating.
In an act of atonement that only he will recognize, Renjun goes to their favorite coffee shop and picks up the regular orders for himself and his team, then pops to the shop beside it, busy, noisy and warm in a way that makes it feel homey, the air scented with freshly ground spices and sizzling meat, and gets three breakfast burritos for himself, Yangyang, and Donghyuck.
The store opens earlier on regular days so Donghyuck is behind the counter finishing a bouquet when he gets there, and he is unable to rush over, crowd into Donghyuck’s space and word vomit everything the way he instinctively wants to. Just like he was never a good sleeper, he was never a good secret keeper either. Wringing hands, red ears, and eventually a desperate divulging of his sins that often did little else than clear his mind. It’s not like his offenses up until this point have ever been anything noteworthy, or even truly bad.
Confession will just have to wait until later, then.
He drops Donghyuck’s burrito and drink on the counter, waving silently and trying to appear casual before heading to the back. Yangyang is out on deliveries before he picks up the first flower shipment from the local farmer who supplies them, so he puts his burrito in the oven, foil still on, and his drink in the fridge before settling in at the desk to eat, thankful he still has an appetite.
Despite the emotional turmoil he feels in general at the situation, if nothing else the sex with Jaemin had filled a hole (lol) in him he hadn’t even realized was there. Two nights in a row fucked until he was sated, enough that he slept better than he had in weeks, and he was feeling fresh as a daisy.
He uses his newfound energy to be extremely productive; once he’s eaten he throws on his signature yellow apron and restocks the ribbons and paper wraps for the bouquets, he washes the sink and when Yangyang shows up he lets him eat while he gets the flowers out of the truck and into their spots around the shop. He wipes down the counters behind the cash wrap and on the cash wrap itself, while Donghyuck eyes him, clearly curious at his magnanimous turn. Finally starts filling the orders for tomorrow and by the time he’s put the finishing touches on Marjorie Mannheim’s Retirement arrangement, it’s time for lunch.
They close the shop for about an hour at lunch, Yangyang leaves for the day and he and Haechan eat Sushi in the back, using an empty box as a table, legs folded up where they sit on the floor.
“He came back.”
“Huh?” Donghyuck pops a piece of his roll into his mouth with his fingers, chewing in the side of his mouth and popping his coke open.
“Jaemin, he came over again last night.”
Donghyuck takes a sip of the coke, eye bugging out. “You’re shitting me.”
“Nope.” Renjun pops the p, looking down at his food. “He introduced me to his girlfriend in the elevator yesterday when I ran into them coming home from work, then came knocking on the door around 10.”
He had kept his eyes glued to the spicy tuna roll in front of him, but when Donghyuck didn't say anything immediately he looked back up. It appears Renjun has once again rendered him speechless, deja vu all over again.
“Okay, come on. Let me have it?”
Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “What, do you want me to tell you shouldn’t have slept with someone in a relationship?”
Renjun shrugs.
“Like you don’t know that already?” He scoffs, and Renjun isn’t sure how often he’s ever heard someone actually do so, but Donghyuck manages to make it sound cool. “I’m not your mom and I am sure you’ve lectured yourself enough.”
“Okay, but what do I do now?”
“What do you want to do?”
“You really don’t want me to answer that.” It startles a laugh out of Donghyuck, and Renjun is unable to stop himself from joining.
The answer of course, is that he wants to keep seeing Jaemin, to keep sleeping with him; but it’s not so simple in practice. He won’t be anyone’s side piece, no matter how stupid that sounds considering he literally already was. Long term though, that could never work, and he doesn’t plan on trying to make it so. He deserves better and, he thinks with shame, so does Karina. Her name comes to him much more easily in the harsh light of day.
He thinks on it through the rest of the day, getting more and more worked up about their circumstances, and by the time he’s walking toward the station to catch his regular train his teeth are clenched, jaw pulsing. Pink in the face from frustration. But it isn’t until he stumbles upon Jaemin in the elevator, coming out where Renjun is coming on, that he knows exactly what to do.
“Renjun, hey! How are you?” As soon as the doors are open Jaemin is stepping out into the faux marble painted lobby, peeling paint at the edges.
His shoes make a tapping noise when he does, and he steps to one side as he greets Renjun, clearing the way for the other people exiting, passing between the two of them as the greeting washes over him.
All the anger he feels, the self doubt, the confusion is bubbling up, and he only manages to hold his tongue long enough for them to not be overheard, other tenants a safe distance away, before he snaps.
“You know, I won’t be anyone’s dirty little secret.” He says, whirling on him.
Jaemin’s face falls, Renjun’s acerbic tone surprising him.
“I’m sorry wh—“
“You should be. Maybe it doesn’t mean much to you, but you have a girlfriend! And I just—“
“Girlfriend? You mean Karina?”
Renjun watches his brows pull together, and he wants to pull his own hair out. “Yes, Jaemin: Karina! Who else?”
Jaemin huffs a laugh, incredulous look blooming on his handsome features.
“Karina is my girlfriend, as in a friend who’s a girl?” All the fight leaves Renjun, replaced by shock. Jaemin raises his eyebrows just a hint smug like a shadow of the cocky look he gives Renjun in his bed at night. “Aren’t you gay too?”
He holds up a limp wrist and puts on an affected voice.
“Renjun, Karina is my best girlfriend!” He says, then drops the act. “Did that help?”
For a moment he’s stunned into silence but he recovers quickly enough.
“I— I just thought—“
“Mhmm, more like you assumed!”
“Okay,” He crosses his arms reflexively, defensively. “well yes. I guess I kind of did.”
Jaemin laughs, eyes catching on Renjun’s very pink cheeks before meeting his eyes again, and then he holds up a duffle bag in quilted black leather that Renjun hadn’t noticed he was holding.
“Look, I would love to hear more, but there’s a probably very annoyed Uber driver out front waiting for me. My sister is having a baby and I have to run.”
“Right. Sorry for keeping you.” He casts his eyes down, still unsure of what exactly just happened, but definitely feeling embarrassed about it, and starts to walk away, only for Jaemin to call out again.
“Renjun?”
He turns and Jaemin is backing toward the door slowly. “I meant it, I would like to hear more, okay? When I get back?”
“Okay, yeah.”
“Thursday afternoon, barring any complications.” Jaemin’s smile is dazzling, so so shiny and fucking charming and Renjun is helpless to do anything but nod. “See you then.”
“See you!”
As Jaemin disappears out the doors and into the waiting car, clearly visible through the glass, the elevator dings and the doors slide open. A little old lady waddles out and once she’s past Renjun climbs on. By the time the doors slide shut, the car outside has gone.
The next night Chenle and Jisung come over with several bags full of groceries. Chenle has always had a sixth sense about when his brother needs cheering up, and this time is no exception.
As Jisung goes to hang up their jackets and arrange their shoes by the door, traded for plush slippers, Chenle herds Renjun into his own kitchen and plops him onto a stool as he unloads bag after bag. The first one is filled with all the ingredients for hot pot, soup base and thin sliced beef, veggies and rice cakes, and Renjun doesn’t bother explaining he had the ingredients already because Chenle knows and does this anyways. Just as he doesn’t have to explain to Jisung where his electric hotpot is, as he’s already getting it out and wiping it down with a paper towel.
The next bag has treats, sour candies and lemon cookies, along with drink options, tea from their family herbalist, coke, and his favorite Japanese beer.
The final bag has another bag inside, the kind that’s given as gift wrap at really fancy stores and he hands it to Renjun, who unwraps it to find jasmine scented body oil and a French face mist that boasts thermal water and a refreshing light scent.
“You didn’t have to do all this, you know.”
“Who said anything about have to? I wanted to—“ he’s handed Jisung the reusable bags to pack up and is stationed at a cutting board his boyfriend has laid out for him, chopping an onion. “Besides, you deserve nice things Renjun.”
Renjun’s eyes go glassy with tears, welling up at the genuine and seemingly bottomless fountain of love from his brother. He opens his mouth to speak but no words come out.
“You don’t have to tell me right now. Let me get dinner sorted and you go show Jisung how to work your stupid tv.”
Renjun nods, grateful again and unable to say it, but Chenle just carries on.
“A tech genius about to sell his product for a billion dollars who can’t work a fire stick… I swear to god!”
Jisung lets Renjun tuck himself under his arm, rubbing his arm comfortingly in the big silent way he has, while he teaches him how to use the two remotes to turn on a movie about people trying to prevent a bank robbery… or maybe they’re trying to rob it? He isn’t totally sure.
The smell of the broth permeates his apartment and the movie gets muted in favor of talking and hovering in the way of Chenle chopping vegetables, the rhythm of it as close to music as it can get. Eventually he and Jisung are sent away to set the table, a long wooden one with a woven runner that he takes off and replaces with a stained tablecloth he keeps for such occasions.
Jisung rigs the pot up and Renjun lays out the plates and the saucers and all the ingredients and Chenle finally pours in the broth and they sit down to eat. It's relaxing, the beer lifting the weight off his shoulders and they talk about Jisung’s business, and Chenle’s training, and it’s a balm on his frayed nerves.
Eventually though he feels like it’s time and he tells them about what’s been happening; or at least the PG-13 cliff notes version. Jisung raises his brow on occasion, but Chenle watches impassively until the end waiting for Renjun to release a breath and collapse against his chair before he reaches out to take a sip of his coke.
“Well, I’m glad he’s not actually cheating, mostly for your sake.”
His face falls, but Chenle shakes his head. “Not like that, you baby. Though not your finest moment if it had been true so be grateful!”
“Fair play. Continue.”
“I just mean, that if he’s fucking you six ways to Sunday and he doesn’t have a girlfriend it’s lucky because there could be potential for something more… if you want that?”
Renjun nods. He does want that, he thinks, to get to know Jaemin better or at least try going on a date.
“Well then when you see him on Thursday or whenever, you should ask him out.”
Jisung nods.
“Just ask him out?”
“Sure. Why not?”
Why not? Just ask him out. Easy.
More and more he begins to think he and Jaemin have kismet on their side, because once again the guesswork of when and where he will see Jaemin is determined for him.
He takes off the following day, d-day as it were, and spends most of the morning trying to clean away his anxiety after spending the evening after Chenle and Jisung left him in a ‘Sunday reset’ TikTok hole.
Admittedly, after wiping down all the surfaces, changing the sheets and washing the throw blankets, vacuuming and tidying up the fridge, he does feel like a new person, all before 9am. From there he showers, scrubbing his skin and washing his hair, uses his favorite lotion and a face mask while he makes a coffee and toasts a croissant, then enjoys it on the balcony, doors open so he can hear music from his neglected record player in the living
It turns out, however, being a whole new person takes a lot out of you. So by noon he’s a bit tired and still hungry so he sets to work making a really good sandwich, going so far as to add pesto in his mayo and toast the fancy bread, assembling it with the utmost care.
As he stick the edge of his thumb in his mouth sucking off a bit of sauce that smudged he hears a flopping noise and a creak from the living room, so he leaves the sandwich and pokes his head out of the kitchen, and nearly jumps out of his skin when he sees Jaemin lounging on his couch, feet kicked in the air.
“Jaemin! Oh my god!” He clutches his chest like a frightened Victorian woman.
He moves further into the living room, while Jaemin stays still save for the smile that spreads over his face. “Hey stranger, did you miss me?”
“How did you even get in here?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest in a way he hopes is intimidating enough to work.
It’s not.
“Your door was open, so I let myself in. You really should be more careful.”
Renjun glances behind Jaemin at the open balcony door and then back over his shoulder at his front door; it’s unlatched, unbolted. Huh. Had he forgotten to lock it after he got the mail? Either way, Jaemin had once again found himself inside his apartment, though at least this time it’s in daylight.
“Well now that you're here, should we.. talk?” He moves closer to Jaemin’s prone form on the couch, watching Jaemin watch him.
Jaemin’s mouth turns down at the corners, considering, and it doesn’t look quite natural; Renjun is much more used to his devilish smile. He must have been counting on it disorienting Renjun, however, because as soon as he focuses on that he loses sight of Jaemin's body, snapping up and out to take hold and pull him into his lap.
“Talking, talking, hmm… why would you wanna do that?”
He runs wide hands over Renjun’s sides, and Renjun can’t help the blush that spreads over his cheeks at the casual intimacy.
“So we can…” Jaemin hikes him up a little in his lap, and he suddenly can feel Jaemin’s half hard in his pants. It’s surprising at best, distracting at worst. “Uhm…”
His hand moves from Renjun’s side, his hip, to his inner thigh pulling his legs open a little to caress the skin there. Curse his slutty loungewear!
He looks up at Jaemin and finds his eyes already trained on Renjun watching his reactions, and smiling. “Go on baby, what do you want to talk about?”
“Talk about us. About what…” He pauses to moan as Jaemin pulls his neck close enough to kiss, once, twice, his hand moving higher and higher, grazing his crotch. “About what we’re doing together.”
Jaemin hums against the skin on his throat before lifting his head and pulling Renjun’s face by the chin to look at him.
“What are we doing together baby?” He kisses Renjun, fast, too fast for him to kiss back. “Tell me what we’re doing.”
He leans in for a proper kiss.
“Having sex.” He says, and Jaemin kisses him. “We’re having sex.”
“Okay baby, you like that?” Another kiss, and Jaemin sucks on his tongue. “Want to keep having sex with me?”
Renjun nods and lets his legs fall open, letting Jaemin’s hands continue and chasing his mouth for more kissing. “Yes. Please, yes.”
Jaemin reaches a hand into Renjun’s pants and pulls his aching cock out of his shorts.
“Want me to fuck you?” He asks as he starts jerking him, slow and firm.
“Yeah!” It comes out breathless and he sinks into the touch, and Jaemin’s lap, all the strength leaving his body, like he’s made of lead that has gone molten at the heat of Jaemin’s touch. But he doesn’t stay there long.
As soon as he says it Jaemin is moving, pushing him gently off his lap and on the cushions and kneeling in front of him. He’s flushed, staring up at Renjun, dark eyes with their usual lust glazed stupor, a singular focus on Renjun as he peels off his shorts to find him bare underneath.
“You’re so sexy like this.” He says, running his hands up and down his thighs again before he rears up and moves to lick at Renjun’s cock, hard and leaking.
He suckles at the tip for barely a moment before swallowing him down, letting Renjun have just a taste of that hot, all encompassing pleasure before he pulls off and licks up the sides from the base.
Renjun moans of course, overwhelmed by how good it feels, but so does Jaemin and the reverb of his pleasure mixes with the wet heat, sending shockwaves all over his body.
“Fuck! Jaemin, please.”
Jaemin pulls off and chuckles. “What baby?”
“More.” He murmurs.
“Mmm…more like this?” He says before diving back down to take Renjun in all the way, bobbing on his cock for a minute before pulling away again and making Renjun whimper. “Or like this?”
Before Renjun can register there is a finger prodding his entrance, gently at first, before it presses in all the way with firm pressure and he throws his head back.
“Oh! Oh my god.”
He doesn’t know how but the finger is lubed and the slide is fucking magical inside of him. Jaemin doesn’t react necessarily but even with his eyes closed he can tell Jaemin is smiling as he sucks his dick, can feel it; and it’s confirmed when he adds a second finger and Renjun pulls his head up to look at him. He can’t help but wish he had this on tape, a recording of them together to watch over and over in his spare time.
Jaemin doubles down on the pressure, sucking him hard and quick, and then he makes contact with Renjun’s prostate. Bumping it once on accident before he changes the angle and starts rubbing over it, massaging it slow and soft; the complete opposite of the sensation of his mouth and it’s too fucking much.
“I’m gonna come. Fuck Jaemin.” He waits for Jaemin to pull away and when he doesn’t he weaves his fingers in his hair and tugs, fucking himself in Jaemin’s mouth and coming down his throat.
When he’s done Jaemin pulls off slowly to minimize the mess, savoring every last drop of Renjun’s come, before he sits back and undoes the fly on his pants and pulls out his dick. Renjun doesn’t need any instruction, just scoots forward with what little strength he has and lets Jaemin pull him into his lap on the floor now.
He uses on arm to support him and the other to guide his cock inside, and when Renjun is settled on it, he doesn’t wait he just starts fucking Renjun wildly.
They breathe into each other’s mouths, Renjun’s frozen wide open, and he wants to kiss Jaemin, but he’s too lost in the pleasure, hypersensitive from his orgasm, so he settles for licking at Jaemin’s tongue occasionally and letting Jaemin nip at his bottom lip.
His eyes fall closed and Jaemin groans. “I’m gonna come now baby, okay?”
Renjun doesn’t respond, so Jaemin thrusts particularly hard.
“Okay baby?”
Renjun nods, cupping Jaemin’s face and pressing their foreheads together. “Yes, yes. Come.”
Jaemin nods back and does, the feeling electric, heat pooling in Renjun’s belly, literally and figuratively at the sensation. For a moment he wonders if he could go again, sit on Jaemin dick and wait patiently to reach full hardness again but the thought leaves his mind when Jaemin leans in to kiss him sweetly, gently, and he feels precious in his grasp.
“Go on a date with me.” He says, quietly, like if he speaks too loudly the bubble of pleasure and happiness they’re in while burst.
Jaemin’s sated smile fades into something considering, aching.
“You’re my dream.” He whispers, barely audible, and Renjun is struck by the intimacy of his words.
The apartment is bright and light, almost 1:30 in the afternoon, far too bright to actually sleep but Jaemin follows him to the bedroom anyways and he draws the curtains, billowing in the breeze and making shadows dance across the wall, across Jaemin’s beautiful face.
He must doze off for a moment, and when he wakes, jerking from the cat nap he’s alone again, and he groans.
If they date Jaemin is going to have to stop doing that.
He updates Chenle with a text and a promise to call, tells Donghyuck the story in person, and he even writes about it in his diary.
Genuinely, he can’t remember the last time he asked someone out on a date (he can remember the last date he was asked on, he wishes he didn’t so it canceled out), and the prospect has him giddy. It’s so stupid but he finds himself smiling at nothing all day and into the next.
He works his usual shift and he adds extra flowers to all the bouquets except the wedding arrangements and lets Yangyang go home an hour early, closing up the shop himself, drinking a canned gin and tonic and bumping the volume on the speakers to dance around with the broom.
On the way home he stops at his favorite specialty market, and buys three types of tinned fish and two baguettes, and all manner of condiments, olives, and cheeses, spending more than he would normally. All the good charcuterie calls for even better wine and so he goes a street over and buys a bottle of chilled white and then orders take away fried chicken while he waits in line, giving into all his baser cravings and wondering if maybe he should pick it up and go home and maybe knock on Jaemin’s door, see if he wants to do a pre date date.
But speak of the devil and the devil shall appear, or so goes the old wives tale; so when Renjun goes into the chicken shop after his train ride, conveniently located in the building next door to theirs he grabs his bag and exits only to run right into Jaemin.
“Oof!” He says, and is thankful for Jaemin instinctively reaching out to steady him, hands on his shoulders.
When their eyes meet, his blush is impossible to avoid so he embraces it instead, letting a goofy smile take over his face.
“Renjun, hey.” Jaemin smiles back and his eyes travel over Renjun’s face. “Picking up dinner?”
“Yeah, I uh… well I kind of went to my favorite places and got a mish-mash of things… and wine.” He holds the bottle up from the corner of the bag before dropping it back in.
Jaemin nods.
“Very nice. Those are the best kinds of dinners.”
“Thanks, I think so too.” He hesitates, bravado leaving him and he has to power through the shyness that has taken hold. “I was wondering if you’d want to join me actually. A pre-date date, or something?”
“A pre-date date?” Jaemin’s eyebrows raise, and yeah this probably was silly.
“Well, maybe it’s a bit unconventional. But since we decided to go out, and you too appreciate a jumble-y dinner. It’s not a formal date, but we could maybe plan that while we eat?” He inflects up in the end, trying to both ask Jaemin seriously and seems cool and casual at the same time and probably failing.
Oh well, c’est la vie ; he wouldn’t have agreed to a date if he didn’t think Renjun’s quirks were kind of cute right?
While Renjun is contemplating that, Jaemin’s moment of confusion or perhaps skepticism passes, and his normal toothy smile returns as he nods.
“You’re right, I do and I would love to, except I promised my friend I’d fix his sink for him. He just bought a place and he’s not used to not having a landlord so he called me.” He laughs, mostly to himself. “Which now that I realize it just kind of makes me his fake landlord.”
Renjun laughs along with him, and marvels that for the first time Jaemin is blushing too.
“All of that to say, I would love to but I’ll have to take a rain check.”
“I’ll hold you to it.”
They part ways and Renjun is still walking on air. He arranges the food on a few plates and lays everything out on the table, pours himself a huge, stunning glass of white wine and puts on Phantom of the Opera.
He eats through half the cheese and sauces, and finishes the chicken. He’s working on the bottle when there’s a knock at the door right in the middle of his favorite song. Rude!
Popping up on tiptoes to peer out the peephole he smiles to himself. It’s Jaemin. He drops down to flat feet and opens the door.
“Jaemin, hey! I wasn’t expecting you.”
Jaemin, looks nervous, for lack of a better word, on edge; running a hand through his hair and though he shoots Renjun a sort of lackluster smile it falls aways again almost immediately.
“Yeah. Renjun, hey. Uhm, can I come in?”
“Sure, of course.”
He steps back and lets Jaemin pass only to turn around and find him waiting for Renjun to lead the way deeper inside, to the living room where he motions for Jaemin to sit. It feels odd to offer it when Jaemin has become so familiar with his space; has developed a knack for making himself at home here.
Renjun sits on the chair adjacent to the couch placing him only slightly higher up than Jaemin, and he folds his hands in his lap, trying not to act as awkward as he feels.
“I almost didn’t recognize you.” He says, chuckling, and Jaemin raises his brows so he elaborates. “The front door? Not your usual style.”
Jaemin stares, dumbfounded for a moment before he barks a harsh laugh, looking from the door back to Renjun. He runs another rough hand through his hair, the look in his eyes becomes wilder, and his overall demeanor is starting to put Renjun on edge.
“Jaemin, is everything alright? You seem a bit— frazzled?”
Jaemin’s eyes stay trained on him and he stops twitching his leg and the thumb he’d held to his mouth chewing dead skin at the edge falls into his lap before he moves to retrieve something out of his pocket.
“I got a security camera.” He says, and it’s Renjun’s turn to look dumbfounded.
“That's— that’s pretty cool.”
“No!” Jaemin shakes his head, then groans. “I mean I did but— what I mean to say is I got a security camera a while ago because my mom and my sister read an article about the dangers of city living and they made a huge fuss so I got one for protection or whatever.”
He stands up and walks over to the TV touching the wall behind it.
“Our apartments are kind of like mirrors, and so my TV is not in the same spot. I have a shelf here in my place and the camera is on top and it’s pointed at the whole back part of the apartment, the balcony and the windows.”
Renjun nods, afraid to interrupt Jaemin now gesticulating as he is, and who carries on at his silence, coming back around to sit again.
“So earlier, when you asked me to come over? For the pre-date date? You talked like… well it was like we’d agreed already.”
“What are you talking about?”
They had agreed, they had sex and he asked Jaemin out and Jaemin had said… he had said that Renjun was his dream. You don’t just say that casually after someone asks you out, and it certainly wasn’t a rejection: was it? It wasn’t a direct yes though either he supposed; had he gotten it all wrong?
From his pocket Jaemin pulls a USB drive.
“Is that a USB?”
“Uh yeah, the place I went to get the footage had USB’s or CDs so I got the video onto this and then I downloaded it onto my computer once I got home, and now it’s on my phone.”
He pulls that out too, tapping around on the screen then stopping and looking up at Renjun, looking… apologetic. He holds the phone out and Renjun takes it, watching the screen as a video starts to play.
It’s low quality black and white footage, a room like Renjun’s but flipped and obviously decorated differently. In the corner of the screen is a time stamp, the first night Jaemin came over, when his heating and cooling was broken, and nothing happens at first but about thirty seconds in there’s movement.
Jaemin appears on the left side, under the camera, walking over to the glass sliding door slowly, pausing in front of it momentarily before he opens it and walks out to the balcony. His and Renjun’s balcony are wide and the gated metal that separates their sides is a bit lower than the rest, but it's still a dangerous move to try and cross without just using the gate.
Renjun knows the outcome but his heart still jumps in his chest when the Jaemin on screen plants one firm hand on the top and then hurdles over in one swift movement.
“I wondered how you were doing that.” He murmurs, glancing up at Jaemin to see him worrying his lip.
He turns his attention back to the video, and it’s been edited, fast forwarding through presumably the time they were together until Jaemin comes back. Then it cuts to another clip, dated the second time they slept together, and he watches it all happen again.
“Jaemin, I’m confused. This is just you coming over, what am I supposed to be looking for?”
Jaemin nods, even though it wasn’t a yes or no question. “I think the next clip will explain it better.”
The next clip is in the daytime, and there is movement right away, Jaemin walking in from the right this time, duffel bag in hand. It’s dated the afternoon that he came back from his sister’s, and he adjusts the thermostat on screen before he moves to the left, walking out of frame. His head is the only thing visible for a few minutes, moving in and out and back and forth in the bottom half of the frame.
After a minute or so he comes fully into frame, changed out his normal clothes for something more comfortable, loose jeans and a shirt, which is what he’d been wearing that day when he just appeared.
He expects Jaemin to cross the room to the balcony right away, but to his surprise Jaemin collapses onto the couch and scrolls on his phone for a bit, before he nods off and the phone slips from his hand to the floor. For about a minute he’s just sleeping peacefully on the screen before all of a sudden his eyes fly open.
For a moment he simply stares into space before he gets up, walks over to the door, then repeats his usual routine and the clip starts fast forwarding again and Renjun can’t take much more of this. He clicks the side button on Jaemin’s phone and puts it down.
“Wait just a second, and you’ll—“
“Jaemin seriously? Will you just tell me what’s going on? You’re seriously weirding me out, those are just clips of you coming over to my place.” He raises his eyebrows, questioning. “Don’t get me wrong, I had fun, but what is so special about the videos?”
Jaemin stares back at him and Renjun feels a sense of foreboding, nothing good can come from the face Jaemin is making at him. When he doesn’t speak, Renjun snaps.
“Jaemin?”
“Have you ever seen someone sleepwalk?”
For the love of all that is holy.
“Jaemin what the fuck are you talking about?”
“No, just answer me. Have you ever seen it?”
He sighs. “No.”
“Well, that’s what it looks like. In that video.”
Renjun feels suddenly, the excess of wine he’d just consumed, the floor feeling like it's trying to trade places with the ceiling. Falling out from under him and leaving him floating in the ether, above the scene in front of him, above Jaemin telling him that all this time, when they’d been together—
“You were asleep.” He whispers it, just like he had when he asked him on a date, only instead of a bubble of contentment he is afraid if he speaks too loudly he will shatter reality as he knows it; as if speaking less quietly might make it true.
Jaemin nods.
“Every time you came over.”
“Yeah, pretty much.”
“Oh my god.” He says, more to himself than anything. This can’t be happening.
“My doctor prescribed me this new medicine for my back pain, an old sports injury flaring up. It works really well, but after I saw this, I called him freaking out because it’s never happened before but he actually told me it's a super rare side effect.”
Renjun wonders, briefly, what exactly he must have done wrong in a past life for this to be happening. The first guy he likes in ages, who he thinks might actually like him back has been fucking him into next week, and he was asleep? If it weren’t so sad it might actually be impressive.
“I made an appointment with him anyway for tomorrow and we’re going to switch to the injection which doesn’t have the same issues.” Jaemin laughs, his previous nervous energy seemingly dissipated now that he’s revealed the truth. “I just wanted to tell you you know? I mean, especially since we must have been getting to know each other a lot.”
He looks at Renjun who still can’t bring himself to speak, and then continues.
“I mean it can’t have been too bad if you asked me out. I’m hoping at least I could hold a conversation.”
“A fair bit more than conversation.” He scoffs and then watches in horror as Jaemin raises his eyebrows.
“What d-do you mean? I mean I was asleep right? Walking and talking?”
“You don’t remember?”
“Remember what? I mean, if we weren’t talking what would we have been doing for hours?” He laughs. “In the middle of the night?”
Renjun’s face heats, blushing a violent red, and Jaemin’s laughter dies out.
“Wait, you’re not saying we… that you and I…”
Suddenly it’s too much. Renjun cannot stand another single solitary second of this — humiliation.
“Jaemin, I think you should go.”
He stands and waits for Jaemin to follow, only he doesn’t, too busy looking around with a sort of slack jawed incredulity.
“We— you and me— when I came over here you’re saying that— it was all—“
“Jaemin!” He says it more sharply than he meant to, but it works and Jaemin snaps out of it, looking up at Renjun albeit still a bit dazed. “I really think you should leave now.”
Jaemin sits there a moment more before he nods, and Renjun sighs, relieved. The sooner this nightmare is over the better. He ushers Jaemin along to the door, and as he slips his shoes back on Renjun keeps his eyes downcast and addresses him.
“I think it’s better we just forget this whole ordeal. Okay? We’re neighbors and we see each other frequently. Best not let it be more awkward than it has to be. Right?”
He doesn’t look at Jaemin, and he assumes he is nodding when there isn’t a response at first.
“Uh, yeah. Okay.”
“I appreciate that. I’m uh, sorry that all this happened. Have a nice night.”
Jaemin opens the door, and Renjun doesn’t look up as he exits. “You too Renjun. I’ll see you around?”
Not if I can help it, He thinks.
“Yeah Jaemin, see you around.”
When he first hired Donghyuck he was in a very different place in his life. He hadn’t finished college and all he’d been able to get with his high school diploma had been gigs bussing tables in seedy nightclubs, and the occasional stint on OnlyFans had been lucrative for him but he wanted something more.
The Donghyuck he’d interviewed had been wearing dark brown liner rimmed around his eyes, and well loved, well worn clothes just bit out of date (not enough to be vintage), he’d been charming and funny, and smart as a whip, keeping Renjun in stitches and clearly scaring Yangyang with his flirty winks and intense gaze. When they did a trial bouquet demo Donghyuck was missing some technical skill, using a few flowers that weren’t necessarily appropriate for the theme or didn’t pair well together for longevity, but he had a natural eye for color and placement and he wrapped the bouquet perfectly on the first try.
When he’d finished it he’d tossed it to Yangyang and then turned to Renjun and asked when he could start.
Renjun had been casually dating an absolute wanker and when they broke things off Donghyuck had helped out extra at the shop, picking up slack when Renjun had to excuse himself to weep dramatically in the broom cupboard and coming round to his every night to gorge on fancy chocolates Chenle had been obsessed with at the time, and letting Renjun mope as long as he needed.
But within a year of working at the shop Donghyuck had started to change and grow, working in a position where he was with people who cared about him, and actually making enough money to sustain himself serving as the catalyst, but meeting Mark was probably what sealed it.
Mark had come in by himself, asking around about having an arrangement done for his mother. Donghyuck loved a pretty face and he loved a mama’s boy even more, being one himself. He flirted his heart out and Renjun and Yangyang had watched non discreetly from one of the aisles the whole exchange. But at the end when Donghyuck questioned how he and Mark might get in contact, Mark just smiled and said he was sure they’d see each other again. Donghyuck had clearly been hurt but tried not to let it show, laughing it off and calling Mark the ‘one who got away’.
Two days later however, Mark came back and he brought with a little girl, no more than two years old. They walked inside hand in hand and when she saw the flowers she went moony eyed and tugged on Mark’s hand.
“Daddy, daddy! Look! Aren’t they pretty?”
“Yeah, Daddy thinks so baby. The prettiest.” He says it, eyes locked on Donghyuck who is watching with a neutral expression.
“Is this why you didn’t give me your number?” He asks, as Mark’s daughter runs off toward the buckets filled with snapdragon blooms.
Mark nods, an anxious look on his face.
“Well now I guess you don’t have an excuse. So cough it up!” He holds out a hand, making an impatient grabby motion and keeps his cold look, but it’s cracked at the edges. Blush on his cheeks, small upturn of the mouth, and he can barely make eye contact.
Within six months they were official and moving in together, within a year Mark's daughter, Soyeon was calling Donghyuck Pop and in two there was a shiny special rock on Hyuck’s finger that came without a wedding but rather a signed document that meant love and commitment.
Donghyuck had bloomed into a new version of himself. He still kept his attitude, and wore his eyeliner on occasion, but he wore more color and he smiled more; brighter and happier than he’d ever been. But he was also wiser, more mature, and a dad, so this time when Renjun holed himself up in his apartment, content to wallow in embarrassment and confusion and self pity, he wasn’t so gentle.
“Two days. You’ve been here two days and while it’s important to feel our feelings, we have to try and feel better too.”
He sounds like a kids program and Renjun wants to say it’s annoying but it’s actually oddly comforting, so he gets up without a fight.
“Fine.”
Which is how they end up side by side, sharing a shitty salad (because Donghyuck insisted he needed nutrients) before they dive into the box of cheese pizza on his coffee table.
“So…”
“So?”
“He was asleep?”
“The whole. Fucking. Time.”
Donghyuck snorts around his fork. “Literally.”
Renjun whines, exaggeratedly, collapsing a little into Donghyuck’s shoulder and stabbing another forkful of lettuce.
“Sorry, sorry. Couldn’t resist.”
“Could too, you’re just mean. Having a child has made you ruthless.”
He sighs and nods at Renjun’s words, not bothering to deny it.
“It’ll be fine. You’re going to work this out, I just know it.”
Renjun pulls the fork out of his mouth slowly, hoping Donghyuck will finish it, and shakes his head.
“No way, I am going to avoid him. Forever.”
Donghyuck doesn’t look at Renjun but he pulls the salad out of reach, finishing it in one big bite expertly placed on his fork.
“There’s still something left to the story. You’ll be together before the week is over, I just know it.” He opens the pizza box and offers it to Renjun with a smug smile. “Call it mother’s intuition.”
Renjun stares down his nose at his friend, glaring his very hardest and trying not to be bothered by the prediction. When Donghyuck doesn’t elaborate he just takes a slice of pizza and stuffs the point into his mouth, chewing grumpily while Donghyuck takes his own slice, ignoring Renjun and putting on Housewives.
Donghyuck changes his sheets for Renjun while he showers and brews a pot of mint tea before he finally leaves for the night. Renjun sips it in bed, contemplating all his life choices and doing a little online retail therapy, lavender candle burning by his bedside.
Or at least he was until he heard a noise from the living room.
Tap, tap.
Despite himself he felt his stomach dip in excitement, but was he even hearing that right?
Tap. Tap, tap.
He sat in utter silence, waiting and trying not to want to be right.
Tap, tap, tap…. And then “Renjun? Are you there?”
He closes his eyes and briefly wonders how wrong it would be to just pretend he hadn’t heard it, but he realistically knows Jaemin would be able to see the glow from his lamp in his otherwise dark apartment from his vantage point; if he really is on the balcony like Renjun thinks he is anyways.
He gets up out of bed but doesn’t leave the room, instead he paces the six steps from the doorway to his bed and back twice.
“Renjun? I can see you pacing.”
“Yeah, well I am trying to decide if I am going to pretend not to hear you or not.” He says, raising his voice so it carries.
Jaemin’s voice is tinged with the full force of his smile when he responds. “How’s that going?”
Renjun rolls his eyes and wonders if Jaemin can hear that.
“Not very well.”
“Just for a minute Renjun, I swear.” He sounds just a little desperate, and Renjun’s stomach flips in a twisted pleasure.
Good. Let him be the desperate humiliated one for once. It gives him the confidence to finally walk out of the room and into the living room and turn on the lamp, the light floods his vision and it takes a moment before his eyes adjust but when they do it takes another moment to adjust to Jaemin.
He’s wearing shorts, real ones made of the same material as his hoodie, and a t- shirt peeking out between the two, along some casual slides. It occurs to him Jaemin hadn’t ever been wearing shoes when he came over— should that have been a sign.
Renjun stares for a moment and Jaemin stares back, neither of them speaking and in that brief moment Renjun aches for him. He walks closer to the door, glances down at the handle and latch, and locks it.
Jaemin sighs. “Please Renjun? I know you don’t want to but we should talk.”
“So talk.”
“Through the door?”
Instead of answering Renjun plops to the floor, legs folded on the carpet, and waits; after a few seconds Jaemin hunkers down across from him, their knees almost lined up through the glass if it weren’t for their size difference (which Renjun’s horny brain notes with alarming care).
Jaemin doesn’t immediately launch into a grand speech or anything, and instead they sit there in silence. While part of Renjun wants to shout at Jaemin to just fucking say something already, the other part of him is enjoying the silence, just sitting here soaking it up, and soaking in Jaemin’s attention. They’re staring at each other and at this distance he can really look at Jaemin, like he’s a painting on display.
His knees are shaped a little funny actually.
“You look really nice.”
The compliment takes him off guard and he blushes easily— too easily.
“Enough Jaemin, I’m here, I'm listening. What did you want to say?”
“I went to that appointment with my doctor, and he said that while I may have been asleep, technically my body was still active so that’s how I was up and able to uhm..”
“Fuck me?” Jaemin flinches very subtly before he purses his lips.
“Yes. Fuck you.” He raises an eyebrow like he’s waiting for Renjun to challenge him again, but he can’t so he just huffs like he’s put out and then waves a hand for Jaemin to continue. “But it’s not like people just sleep fuck randomly, he said that my mind was sleeping enough to lower my inhibitions and dream about you, but waking or lucid enough to act on it.”
“So you’re saying that you want me to believe that you dreamed about breaking into my place and fucking me and so your sleepwalking self did it?”
“Yes! Exactly!”
His face lights up, only to fall again when Renjun responds with a scathing: “Fuck all the way off! No way!”
“It’s true! I dreamed it, and we— did it.”
“Jaemin, how am I even supposed to believe you? You could be asleep right now.”
“I’m not.”
“Yeah, and how would I know that? You’re exactly where you were every other time it happened. Your magical dream brain could just be coming up with all this!
“I can prove it, though.”
Renjun had a plan. He was going to avoid Jaemin and forget this all happened, but here he is. This sexy, sweet guy that he likes so much— too much, and he’s basically begging Renjun to change his mind.
“How?” He asks, and Jaemin deflates a little in relief.
“Well first, you have to let me in.” Renjun is about to protest but Jaemin cuts him off. “Just so we can use the front door to go back to my place. Crossing that balcony is way scarier than it looks.”
Which, okay fair enough.
Jaemin’s place is, like he said, a mirror to Renjun’s, which is disorienting at first. Jaemin guides him into the living room and gestures for him to sit down on the couch before he walks across the room. Where Renjun has a dining table and hutch Jaemin has a roll top desk, He unlatches it and pushes it back before he pulls out an iPad in a bright pink case, then makes his way over and sits down right beside Renjun.
“I upgraded my system, so I don’t have to get the discs anymore and I can use an app since we last talked. Here.”
He hands the iPad to Renjun and it’s pulled up to a live feed. He can see himself, and Jaemin, right there on the couch in the video just as they are in real life. On the side of the screen there are tabs, the first one is selected and it’s labeled Live with a little red dot beside it. Below that is Last 24 hrs, then Archive.
Jaemin gestures at the last 24 hours tab, and Renjun selects it, prompting a new screen broken down by hour. He selects the past hour and it starts to play, nothing at first but it’s just now 9:45 so he doesn’t have to wait long before Jaemin appears on the screen.
He’s on the phone, talking to someone and pacing, then he tosses it to one side but keeps pacing. It appears he’s talking to himself now, running hands through his hair before he walks off screen in the direction of the entrance and kitchen. He’s barely gone a minute before he’s back, now dressed in the outfit he’s wearing, and he moves to pace in front of the glass door. After another thirty seconds, he’s opening the door and walking out onto the balcony.
They watch as Jaemin of recent past attempts to cross the way sleepwalking Jaemin had. Then he stops and just looks at the space he has to cross, then turns sideways and inches one leg up, torso down and kind of slides, flopping the rest of the way over.
Renjun lets out a startled laugh, and Jaemin joins in.
“See? I didn’t go to sleep. I came home, changed, and came over.”
Renjun looks at him and then looks at the video, just the hint of Jaemin’s shadow visible on the screen still, pacing and building up courage to knock on Renjun's door, and Renjun of right now bites his lip.
“I guess you did.”
“So?” Jaemin says.
“So what?” He puts the iPad down in his lap and turns to make full eye contact with Jaemin.
“Do you believe me?”
“Yes.”
“Do you forgive me?”
“There’s nothing to forgive.” He admits. “You can’t help the side effects of a drug, and we were both consenting adults. Even if you were consenting in dreamland.”
Jaemin smiles, and Renjun continues. Might as well be honest now.
“I was mostly embarrassed. I thought, when you told me you were asleep it was just random that you found me to sleep with and then I was making such a fool out of myself when you weren’t asleep…” He trails off. “I don’t know.”
“Well you have nothing to feel embarrassed about. It wasn’t random, I wanted you.”
“Wanted?”
“Want. I want you.”
“Oh.” Renjun says, and blushes again.
“Do you want me?”
He looks at Renjun, hopeful, and a little cocky like he might know the answer but fearful too, like Renjun might deny him anyways; and he supposes he could. Just get up and walk away, thanks for the memories, but he doesn’t want to. He wants to remember as it was but make new memories too; and he wants Jaemin so badly. To do everything they had done before, and more.
This is the part where he tells Jaemin that, but despite his romantic, emotional nature, there is a time and a place for sentimentality and there is a time for action. This feels like the latter.
The kiss he pulls Jaemin into is good. Even better now that he knows the person kissing him back has all their faculties about them. He kisses Jaemin, trying his best to make sure he knows exactly how Renjun feels— exactly what he wants.
He moves to pull away but Jaemin chases him, licks into his mouth for another slow, deep kiss before relenting.
“Good.” He says, when he does pull away and they’re looking at each other with hunger.
“That’s….” He trails off and lets his thumb trail over Renjun’s bottom lip. They’re so close now, barely a whisper between them. “Very good.”
Don’t get him wrong: Renjun loves a slow sexy build up as much as the next guy! But until this moment, he had been tortured of what could have been; his memories of Jaemin, their banter and the mind blowing sex, had been a ‘what if?’ that was going to haunt him for all of time. So really who can blame him for cutting to the chase?
He launches at Jaemin, knocking him back and straddling his lap in one smooth movement, kissing him with all the passion he had locked away and gripping Jaemin’s shirt in his fists. Between kisses Jaemin asks him, breathless and half hearted:
“Should we be taking it slow? Dating?”
Renjun grinds his hips down so Jaemin can feel how hard he is before he answers, driving his point home.
“We will date.” He grinds his hips again. “So much probably. But if you don’t fuck me, right now, I will think the only game you have is when you’re asleep and you’ll never get the chance to wine and dine me.”
He kisses Jaemin, dragging his teeth over his bottom lip and staring right into his eyes, trying to make sure he understands.
“And I’ll probably die. Is that what you want?”
Jaemin shakes his head, dazed. “No.”
“No?” Jaemin shakes his head, confirming that he does not, in fact, want Renjun to die from lack of dick. “Then fuck. Me.”
The glassy, horny look on Jaemin’s face doesn't change. Renjun can feel Jaemin’s fat cock under his own, and he’s tired of waiting for it, so he grinds down again trying to snap him out of it.
“Jaemin,” He says, letting his voice go high and desperate as he feels. “Please?”
It does the trick and Jaemin has them flipped in what feels like seconds, blanketing Renjun with his bigger body, grinding into him and kissing him wet and messy, no finesse. He thrusts against Renjun, miming fucking him through his clothes, and Renjun spreads his legs wide as he can.
“That’s it baby, want me to fuck you?” It’s rhetorical but Renjun answers anyways, moaning a yes. “Spread your legs for me so easily. Want me that badly?”
Renjun nods, and Jaemin kisses him some more as he pulls Renjun’s cock out of his pants then spits in his hand to start jerking him, all the while grinding his erection as close to Renjun’s clothed hole as he can, making it clench minutely around nothing.
“Gonna come like this for me?”
His eyes well up, overwhelmed with pleasure, so close to coming, but he wants more. “No, I wanna come on your cock. Please Jaem.”
“You will. Gonna fuck you over and over until your nothing baby, just a pretty little hole for me to fill. You’ll forget your name, forget anything that isn’t me fucking raw, whenever I want.”
Renjun spills over Jaemin’s hands and onto his belly and the edge of his t-shirt, shaking and whining, barely breathing. He locks his legs around Jaemin’s waist even while he keeps thrusting lazily in the aftermath of Renjun’s erection, knocking his head against the arm of Jaemin’s couch, and he doesn’t care. He can only want more.
But he doesn’t have to ask for it because Jaemin is singularly focused, using his bulging arm muscles to unlock Renjun’s legs like they’re made of cotton candy and then pushing them to one side so he can move out of the way and slip his bottoms off, leaving him bare and ready.
Jaemin wastes no time then scooping up Renjun’s come to coat his hole and start working him open. It’s nasty, and it should make Renjun want to stop but it doesn’t, it makes him want to roll over and present himself like a bitch in heat to be mounted; as it is he just lets Jaemin finger fuck him open, enjoying how slutty and hot he feels having his own come used as lube and trying to ignore the errant thought that Jaemin might coat his cock in it too before he fucks him.
He feels his cock twitch at the thought and blushes, biting his lip and moaning as Jaemin finally hits his prostate.
“There it is, huh baby. Always gonna make you feel good.” He says, as Renjun starts wailing, a smug look on his face and laughter in his voice.
“Please Jaemin, fuck me.” He pushes his shirt up to play with his own nipples and fixes Jaemin with his biggest, wettest eyes. “Please fuck me.”
For a moment, Jaemin goes still, fingers frozen inside, and he watches Renjun touch himself. Renjun keeps going before getting frustrated at his shirt, ripping it off awkwardly, and getting the cum that was on the hem smeared on his cheek. Normally he’d just wipe it away, be civil about it, but having an audience, he does the one thing his horny monkey brain wants him to do and he uses his thumb to gather it up then sticks it in his mouth, moaning at the taste and his hole tightens on Jaemin’s fingers.
He lets the digit linger before pulling it free and going back to his nipples and lifting his hips to try and get Jaemin deeper.
“Jaemin!” He whines. “Please?”
To his utter delight Jaemin snaps out of it, standing to pull his own pants off before he sits again and manhandles Renjun into his lap, facing each other. It’s sticky where their skin meets but Renjun is too mesmerized by the look on Jaemin’s face as he runs his hand over his cock just like Renjun had hoped he would and then, when the slide isn’t enough he spits in his palm before doing it again.
Renjun has to bite his lip to stop himself from moaning.
Jaemin himself is totally silent, except for the light sound of his breath as he pushes Renjun up enough to press inside. Renjun is used to it rough and hard, so he nearly protests when Jaemin holds him by the waist to slide in at his own pace, the only thing that stops him is how fucking good it feels.
“Fuck!” He murmurs. “Fuckkk.”
Only when he’s all the way sheathed inside of Renjun’s tight heat does he finally say something, but not before he kisses Renjun once on the mouth; it’s simmering with heat, Jaemin’s mouth physically hot on his, and so gentle. The kind of gentleness that implies intimacy beyond what he and Jaemin have— but maybe, just maybe it’s a promise of what’s to come.
In the meantime he had meant what he said, and there would be plenty of time for all of that later: dating, intimacy, and, if they were lucky, falling in love. What he wanted now was the passion that had sparked all of this, he wanted Jaemin to keep his promise of fucking Renjun stupid.
“Missed this.” Jaemin murmurs into his mouth, hands wandering all over Renjun’s body, tense as a bowstring, primed to snap.
“How?” He whispers. “Weren’t you asleep?”
“But I was dreaming it, dreaming it and the things I felt in the dream— well now I know it was real.”
He thrusts up, lifting and dropping Renjun by. The hips in time, not bothering to let him start bouncing on his own.
“You and your incredible body, the sounds you make.. it was all real.”
He repeats the process again, but starts grinding after, letting the continuous movement of his hips drive Renjun a little crazy, and diving in for another kiss.
“I’m so happy it was real.” He whispers.
Renjun lifts from his knees and drops back down and his mouth falls open in a wanton moan. “Oh, my God, Jaemin!”
“That’s it baby, ride me. Show me how good you feel.”
Renjun bites his lip and goes again and again, picking up the pace to ride Jaemin in earnest. The third or fourth time the angle is just right and he nails his prostate and moans even louder than he was and digs his nails into Jaemin’s shoulders as he gyrates his hips, making Jaemin’s cock head drag against it sending waves of pleasure all over his body.
Jaemin keeps up a steady stream of praise and he fucks himself down onto his dick, over and over. When he starts to get tired though, Jaemin notices immediately.
“Oh, giving up already baby?”
His eyes well up, that stupid post orgasm brain making him feel vulnerable, desperate to please.
“I’m sorry.” He whimpers, begging. “Please fuck me, please. I need you.”
“I will, baby. I’ll fuck you however you like as soon as you come like this.”
He kisses Renjun almost chastely, as a sort of punctuation to his statement. As if he hadn’t just set an ultimatum.
“I c-can’t. Please!"
“Yes you can. You will. I’ll help,” he concedes partially, thrusting up, hand dancing across his body here and there. “But you’ll come riding me like this and then I’ll fuck you properly baby. I promise.”
“Jaemin!” He groans the name out, wants to kick and scream and cry. It doesn’t feel fair. “Please!”
His voice is tinged with hysteria, voice wet and shaky, and it’s enough that Jaemin pauses pressing kisses across the top of Renjun’s chest, where he has been putting his many teeth, sharp and shiny, to use by sinking them in occasionally and then soothing the tenderness with a wet press of his lips, to pull back and try and soothe him.
“You can baby, I know you can.”
Renjun shakes his head, and Jaemin smiles, licking his lips and then Renjun’s lips, before pulling him into a wet and sloppy kiss. It does help to relax him a bit, and after a minute or so of being kissed and squirming he lets his head fall back and starts moving again.
Jaemin directs his attention back down, moving from his chest to his neck and Renjun picks up the pace, bouncing down to meet Jaemin’s upward thrusts.
Jaem’s cock is thick and long and at this angle it's practically splitting him open. He can feel it in his lower back and his throat and he moves a hand from Jaemin’s neck where he’s been clinging for leverage to his stomach like maybe the tip will be there too.
He can’t help it, he comes easily at the thought, maybe a minute after he said he couldn’t, moaning all the while.
His body goes limp and even though he should know better, should be used to Jaemin’s love for pushing his limits by now, he’s still surprised when he is scooped up and maneuvered to the floor.
Jaemin flops his pliant body down on his belly, with no regard for his spent cock or his overall sensitivity, whole body burning like an exposed nerve. He’s completely useless at this point unable to do anything but lay there, arms haloing his head and legs sprawled, but Jaemin doesn’t seem to care at all, kneeling between them and pulling him up by the hips to slip his cock back inside.
At first he’s leaning into Renjun thrusting and the force of it has his cheek and his knees grinding into the rough carpet, he can feel them growing raw but before he can mention it Jaemin’s grips is tightening and he’s pulling himself to his full height, and their size difference means the movement has his knees hovering above the ground and he has to brace himself on his elbows.
“You’re always so tight baby, feel so fucking good on me.”
He moans; the angle means every thrust is nailing his prostates but even if it wasn’t the way Jaemin’s cock feels as it drags against his walls would be enough he thinks, not to mention his cock, which is resting by the tip on the ground and bobbing in mid air to slap against his belly in time with Jaemin’s thrusts before it grazes the floor beneath him, making him hard again.
The constant assault is toe curlingly good, and he’s leaking now dangerously close to the edge, pleasure overwhelming him. Not once does Jaemin stop, losing himself in his own pleasure and Renjun is aching to come again. He uses what little strength he has left to move his legs, or at least scoot them, overlapping his shins on Jaemin’s calves and using the leverage to push closer to him and arch his back.
It presses his face back harshly into the carpet, and it burns, but it’s worth it for the feeling heat pooling in his belly, and the way Jaemin’s fucking grows erratic like he’s trying to savor it; stop himself from finishing just yet.
“Goddamn your ass is incredible baby, can’t believe you let me fuck you like this.”
“Gonna come again. Please, please!”
Jaemin laughs. “Yeah? That’s a good boy. Can’t help but come on my cock can you baby?”
He thrusts hard when Renjun doesn’t answer, too busy drooling into the rug.
“Yeah, yes!” He says, straining. “Love your cock so much Jaem. Please come, come inside.”
Jaemin loses all rhythm then, groaning as he buries himself to the hilt and comes, Renjun following him directly after with a breathless gasp at the culmination of all the sensations, including the heat of Jaemin painting his insides white.
He comes back to his senses slowly, regaining feeling he hadn’t realized he’d lost; vision fading back in first from black, then his legs and his ass, already sore. Then his hands and his arms, followed by his torso as Jaemin pulls out and collapses beside him, arm ensuring him at the waist. Finally his shoulders and his neck, Jaemin’s breath against it, and his face, his damaged cheek and then his tender lips and his sore throat.
Briefly he wonders if he’ll have lost his voice by the morning, go hoarse from all the wanton moaning.
“So, how was it? Just as good as asleep Jaemin?”
The question startles a laugh out of him, and revives him enough that he can twist in Jaemin’s hold so they’re face to face. Jaemin is smiling widely, and Renjun kisses him before he answers.
“Better. The best.”
He kisses him again and again and again. Rolling so he’s resting on top of Jaemin, like he’s a person shaped bed, and letting himself take his time to give his mouth the attention it deserves. The kisses fade into bare whispers of contact, until their mouths are more resting against each other and finally he sighs, turning his head and wiggling down a bit to rest it on Jaemin’s broad bare chest.
It’s nice to bask in it and know Jaemin is completely present; that if they fall asleep together Jaemin will still be there when he wakes up and remember it all. His mind, and his eyes wander and then he notices. The camera is there, still on, pointing their way and recording everything they’re doing. Everything they’d just done.
He smiles in spite of himself, non-rug-burned cheek scrunching up against Jaemin’s collarbone.
“I finally got my video I guess.” He says, mostly to himself, as he eyes the camera up above them.
Jaemin whips his head up. “Your what?”
Oops. He flops his head over and looks Jaemin in the eye.
“Uhm… hypothetically, how do you feel about sex tapes?”
Jaemin seems confused so Renjun flicks his eyes up at the camera and back, and he watches as Jaemin follows his gaze and understanding dawns on his handsome face.
“Well, I can’t say I’ve ever given it much thought.” He says, obviously trying not to laugh. “But I guess, I’ll just have to watch it and see.”
Renjun hums. “What if it’s horribly boring or something?”
Jaemin doesn’t hold back, laughing out loud.
“Well, were you bored just now?”
“No, but…” He grins mischievously. “I’d hate for it to put you to sleep.”
Six months later….
Including that night, but excluding the time he had Donghyuck over to watch it in secret, they’ve since watched their (mesmerizing, filthy, sexy) video approximately nine times, and made an additional three others. Jaemin keeps joking they should start a OnlyFans with the content, and honestly Renjun wouldn’t be opposed to it, but he’s so annoyed he didn’t think of it first he says no.
In addition to all the slutty, delicious sex, they also go on dates, tons and tons of dates. Jaemin insists on planning them, saying he owes Renjun for when he made him think he didn’t want that, no matter how many times he assures him it’s not necessary.
Things between them couldn’t be better, and though he’s nervous to do so, Renjun can admit he’s falling for Jaemin in a big way. It’s exhilarating and terrifying, but not because he thinks Jaemin isn’t falling for him too but because the feelings he has for him are already bigger and more all encompassing than anything he’s felt before.
Tonight they’re at Hyuck and Mark’s place, a little party to both distract them from missing their daughter who is currently on vacation with her grandparents, and to introduce Jaemin to the group.
So far he’s handling it like pro, Chenle gives him a shovel talk while Jisung, who Jaemin is immediately enamored with and won’t stop pinching his cheeks, looms menacingly as a mouse can behind him, but it ends with teary eyed hug between Chenle and Jaemin so he doubt that really went how anyone thought it would.
Donghyuck tells embarrassing stories about Renjun’s exes and also alludes to the secret showing of their sex tape, which makes Jaemin’s eyes snap to him in a look that chills him to the bone and also gives him a semi.
Yangyang is too busy texting to do much of anything besides occasionally laugh a beat after everyone else and stare and Jeno, Jaemin’s best friend who tagged along who has only just moved here from their hometown and needs ‘more friends than just me Nono’, but it’s Mark who steals the show.
Always a charmer with his paternal energy and big doe eyes, he and Jaemin take to each other instantly, talking everything from favorite bands and bakeries in the area, to school rankings in the tri-state area (Jaemin it had turned out was a primary school teacher) and investment portfolio tips; Hyuck and Renjun watching on in abject horror that they may be dating total losers.
“Just watch, you’re gonna take him home and Kun is going to get him into NFTs.” Donghyuck says, which Renjun would have easily denied and subsequently retaliated against because that was a total misunderstanding!
But all of a sudden, over the din, Mark mellow voice rises above and calls not just Renjun’s attention, drawing him into his and Jaemin’s conversation, but everyone’s.
“Actually, you guys are neighbors right? But you lived next door for ages before you started dating?”
He and Jaemin exchange a look.
“Six months or so?” Jaemin says, and Renjun nods.
Mark looks between them. “We’ll c’mon dudes, you have to tell us: what changed? How’d you crazy kids end up together?”
Hyuck snorts as Renjun’s face loses all its color and Jaemin opens and closes his mouth.
Chenle, never one to be left out, immediately picks up on the fact that he has been, and demands to know as well.
“Yeah! You’ve never told us!” He furrows his brow and crosses his arms.
Renjun is becoming whiter by the second, and he looks to Jaemin to rescue them. It must be clear on his face because Jaemin winks and finally speaks with conviction.
“Have you guys ever seen anyone sleep walk?”
“I cannot believe you told them!”
They’ve just gotten back to Renjun’s place, where they spend the majority of their time these days.
“I didn't tell them. I just said I would sleep walk over to your place and visit you.” He laughs. “Really it was Hyuck’s fault.”
When Jaemin had presented the innocent half truth of their story Hyuck had very subtly muttered (read practically shouted for all to hear) ‘Is that what the kids are calling it these days?’
Jaemin wraps him in a placating embrace and pulls him tight, tilting Renjun’s head back with his knuckle so he’s looking up at Jaemin and kisses him on the forehead.
“If Chenle has to have even more therapy because of this, then we’ll make him pay I suppose.”
Jaemin’s smile, the one he gets when they’re totally in sync, fills him with warmth as it spreads across his face.
“Now you’re getting it.”
Almost an hour later, they’ve long since settled into bed, lights turned off and alarms set for the next day, but Renjun can’t make himself sleep quite yet; still buzzing from the success of the party and properly introducing Jaemin to all his close friends.
For a while he twists and turns, and for a bit he ducks around on his phone with the screen light turned low before he realizes that will make things worse. What finally helps is laying back and staring at the ceiling to watch the shadows dance as clouds shift across the night sky; the moon throwing shapes for his entertainment.
It calms him enough that he thinks maybe if closed his eyes and let his mind wander it would do the trick, and he’s resolved himself to it, when Jaemin’s voice cuts through the darkness.
“Renjun? Baby?”
Shit. He’s been moving around and making a fuss and Jaemin was a light sleeper as it was.
“Sorry babe, did I wake you up?”
“Woke me up, yeah.” He murmurs.
“I didn’t mean to, I promise.”
“I promise too.”
It clicks then that Jaemin is asleep; talking in his sleep, and highly suggestible. He rolls his eyes.
“Alright baby, you’re dreaming. Go back to bed.”
“It’s a good dream.”
“You can tell me about it in the morning.”
“Okay baby.”
“Goodnight.”
“Night.” He says, and for a moment Renjun thinks he’s listened, but then he speaks again. “I love you, Junnie.”
Holy fuck. This was it: the moment he’s been waiting for. To either say it himself or hear from Jaemin, and now it had happened except he was asleep.
He was asleep.
Jaemin had told him he loved him… In. His. Sleep.
He had a few options, including but not limited to: waking Jaemin up and beating him up with his pillow, being a tiny bit jealous that Jaemin had beaten him to it, or questioning whether he meant it. Whether this was real or not. But he had let the sleepwalking get the better of him all those months ago and he wasn’t going to let that happen again.
Jaemin loved him and had said so, so he did the only thing that actually made sense in this situation.
He laid back, cushioning his head on his arms and turning to one side so he could look at Jaemin where he lay, vulnerable and handsome. Peaceful.
He watched the rise and fall of his chest and the shadows his eyelashes cast on his cheeks in the moonlight, and he smiled.
“I love you too, Jaemin.”
And he did.