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Ray shifted uncomfortably in the rickety chair he had perched himself on, legs shifting to try and return the blood flow to them so he could focus back on the guitar in his hands and not the pins and needles sensation settling in his limbs. They'd been at this for a few hours now, and he was starting to regret not taking the couch and instead letting Gerard sprawl himself across it as if he were a porn model for a Playboy magazine (as if those models wore clothes that hadn't been washed in three weeks). Ray paused for a moment at that sudden train of thought, eyes widening like a deer in headlights as he glanced at the singer to make sure he hadn't accidentally voiced his thoughts. He had a bad habit of doing that sometimes; blurting out things he hadn't meant to say without even realizing it, only for it to dawn on him seconds later that he had said it aloud. Gerard seemed to be lost in thought however, so even if he had said anything he doubted they'd even notice.
"Play it again," Gerard's voice snapped Ray out of his daydream all of the sudden, causing Ray to give them a slightly blank stare as they watched him expectantly. "The song, Ray," they grinned playfully, watching with slightly squinted eyes as the light went on in his head and his fingers moved to play it. It seemed to flow from his body naturally, fingers and hands moving without any hesitation as Ray closed his eyes to focus. Gerard took that time to admire Ray silently from his place across from him, eyes roving over his concentrated expression as the gentle smile still hung on their lips. Ray's eyes fluttered open to look back at Gerard once he was finished playing, surprised by the caring, almost.. loving look on their face. It brought a gentle blush to his cheeks as he looked down at his guitar, unsure of what the look was directed towards. He probably just liked how he played it.. right?
"Hm.." Gerard shifted so he was sitting up more now, his eyes focused back on Ray's fingers. "Add a few more majors in." Ray looked hesitant to start adding to stuff they had already established, the feeling apparently reflecting in his face due to Gerard's words of instruction. "You gotta play more major, okay?" There was a certain tone of soothing that would've normally ticked Ray off, had it not been coming from Gerard. He knew Gerard was simply trying to get him to step out of his comfort zone and break his already-set pattern, and it was already hard to resist their requests when they were giving him the saddest puppy-dog eyes imaginable. He sighed softly and nodded, this time having to watch his fingers move on the fretboard to make sure they were going where Gerard wanted them to go. It felt.. uncomfortable, to say the least, as he played through the song with a slightly more upbeat tone to it, facial features contorting to express the discomfort physically instead of verbally.
"Play it in C." Ray shook his head immediately upon Gerard's next instruction, raising his shoulders defensively but staying steadfast in his decision. "Why?"
"Just.. no."
"Why not?" Gerard was starting to sound annoyed by his stubbornness, which made Ray just want to give in and play it, but there was a part of him that just wouldn't give it up. He knew it wouldn't sound right without having to try it, yet didn't know how to explain that to Gerard.
"Because."
"Tell me why not."
"Just 'cause."
"Just tell me why!" Gerard's voice rose unintentionally all of the sudden, causing Ray to tighten his grip around his fretboard to feel the rough strings dig into his hands. His leg started to bounce anxiously against the floor, drawing in Gerard's attention and making them take a moment to calm down.
"Can we do it somewhere else?" They questioned this time, receiving a slow nod from Ray, his shoulders still hunched slightly in defense. "That's all you gotta say, man," Gerard grumbled out of frustration, picking at the chipping polish on his nails and missing the hurt look that flashed across Ray's face at their words. They were interrupted briefly by Frank entering the room to drop off some snacks, the shorter looking confused by the scene before him.
"Damn Ray, whaddya do to make Gee look that upset?" Frank teased without really meaning anything by it, though the look of saddened regret that settled in Ray's eyes made him backtrack quickly. He shifted nervously in place, clearing his throat before he spoke again. "Maybe.. maybe it's time you guys took a break. Mikey's still not home yet, and I think you guys have been at it long enough," Frank's voice was gentle yet serious when he spoke again, catching Gerard's eye and glancing pointedly over at Ray's curled up form. They followed his line of sight and looked over at the lead guitarist, immediately recognizing what was going on with Ray and sitting up further.
"Ray?" Gerard's soft voice prompted Ray to tear his gaze away from the floor and back over to the singer, hearing the faint 'click' of the door closing as Frank left. Gerard felt his frustration disappear almost immediately at the sight of Ray looking so apologetic despite having done nothing wrong, motioning for the male to drop his guitar and come closer. "C'mere doll," they murmured sweetly, humming softly in praise as Ray hesitantly sat his guitar against the wall and stood from the chair. His legs wobbled a little as he shuffled over to the couch, muscles not used to moving after having sat for so long and vaguely reminding Gee of a newborn deer.
Gerard sat up fully to pull Ray down in between their legs, forcing him to lay down partially with his head on their chest. It wasn't entirely comfortable, but Gerard knew Ray needed closeness over comfort right now anyway, and they weren't gonna complain. He stroked a warm hand up and down Ray's right arm as the guitarist buried his face into their shirt, taking in a shaky breath of their scent to calm down. Ray's fingers were tangled in the fabric of Gerard's soft shirt now, the thin fabric offering little protection against the feeling of his trembling fingers just barely digging into their stomach. They mentally hoped he found comfort in the texture of his shirt, knowing Ray was even more picky about what fabric he touched with what parts of his body, so Gerard always made a conscious effort to find safe clothes for them both usually.
Gerard let them lay in silence a little while longer before he began his questioning, running his fingers down Ray's neck to prompt him to look up at him. Ray did so after a few seconds of consideration, a deep-set look of vulnerability in his fearful eyes. Gerard wasn't sure how a tall, well-built man of Ray's structure managed to look so much like a little kid who grew up in his brother's shadow whenever he held Ray like this, but he did, and it tugged at their heartstrings in a terrible way. Gerard only knew partially what growing up in someone else's shadow felt like because he and Mikey had talked about it occasionally a few times after they started the band, but (if they had to guess) Ray probably felt worse due to the fact that he had more brothers than Mikey did, meaning there was an even higher expectation for him to do his best compared to them. He isn't used to having all this attention on him, not without a reason behind it, they realized after having thought about some of Mikey's points when they talked previously.
Ray's eyes glittered with tiny tears gathering at the very corners of his doe-brown eyes as he gazed up at Gerard with something akin to shameful wanting, his gentle sniffles bringing Gerard back into the present finally. "What's with the tears, bubba? You're safe here, yeah?" They cooed sweetly and placed a cool hand on Ray's cheek to swipe a pale finger just under his eye, melting internally when Ray leaned into his palm. Ray just shrugged halfheartedly in response to the question about the tears, whimpering quietly in the back of his throat as he leaned closer to Gerard. A soft little sigh left Ray's lips as he allowed his eyes to fall closed again to try and get his emotions reigned back in, a subtle tremble settling in his body as he held on tightly to Gerard. Stability was always something he knew he could rely on with Gerard, ironically enough compared to their own lifestyle, but that was another reason they knew one another so well. Gerard was Ray's constant; something so sporadic and wild that he was comfortable with their self-built insanity, a never-ending stream of consistency that Ray expected and fit with seamlessly. He hated change, unless it was Gerard.
He could rely on Gerard for never changing, and he hoped their love would never change too.