Chapter Text
When Nat had agreed to pet sit for Misty, she wasn’t really agreeing, per say. It was more like she was being forced by those big brown doe eyes that she knew could (and would) rip her heart out if necessary. Nat had always been a weak person - something she had long ago accepted - but there was something about Misty’s gaze that pulled at a particularly soft part of her heart and made her (eventually) bend to the curly-haired woman’s will.
So, here she was, pulling the spare key that Misty had pressed into her hand like it was the most precious thing in the world out of her pocket and cautiously entering Misty’s home. It seemed creepier, somehow, with Misty out of town. Like an abandoned dollhouse with ghosts and ghouls waiting to snatch up unsuspecting victims. Rather like Misty herself, Nat thought as she walked through the house to find the bird.
“What a weird ass pet to own, Misty,” Nat had said upon her first calm meeting with Misty. “Where’d you get that idea?”
Misty had laughed, stroking Caligula’s feathers gently as she tucked her feet up under her on the couch. Her hair had been tied up into a bun at the time, which Nat had found unusually adorable. It had made her already huge eyes look even bigger, even more doll-like. “African Grey’s are fiercely loyal, you know, and incredibly intelligent.”
“But not really cuddly, huh?”
“Oh, I’d say that they’re pretty affectionate, too. Caligula likes it when I read to him before bed,” Misty said, as if it was normal to read to a bird at night like it was a small child. “And he loves listening to music with me in the morning. Don’t you, Caligula?”
Nat had watched mystified as the little grey parrot squawked and nodded at his owner.
(And if Nat had agreed to this because she wanted to see more of this incredible behavior from a bird, then that was something she chose to keep to herself.)
“Caligula?” she called out through the house. “C’mon bud, where are you? I know you can hear me, you lit–” Nat was cut off by the flapping of small but powerful wings right by her face, and the feeling of a new weight on her shoulder.
“Hello,” Caligula greeted her from his new perch. It was high-pitched and painful right next to her ear.
Nat held in her wince, choosing to glare at the bird instead of showing him her fear. She didn’t trust the little brat quite yet and was mildly afraid that he would peck her eyes out. “Hey,” she said cautiously. “Misty sent me over to pet sit you while she’s away.”
Caligula stared at her for a long moment with pointed yellow eyes, then fluttered off of her shoulder in the direction of the kitchen. Misty had told her that she made a list of what Caligula would and might need, and apparently the bird was showing her where she had left it, because it was there when Nat entered the kitchen. Several pages of pink printer paper were neatly arranged on the table, all written on (front and back!) and covered in sparkly hearts and stars and sickening smiley faces.
Nat walked forward and picked up a piece.
Hi Nat!!!
Below you will find all of the things Caligula needs, like his schedule and what to feed him. He likes to listen to music during breakfast, so I also left you a list of his top 100 favorite songs! He might even dance for you if he’s not feeling shy!! He also needs to be let out of the house for an hour twice a day (I usually do it before I go to work and when I get home, but you can do whatever time works for you. I know you’ll make the best choice for him!!), and you should talk to him as much as you can. Caligula is an excellent conversationalist!! Please stick to this schedule as it is very hard for him to adjust back to his old routine after it’s been broken. I’m serious Nat!!!
At this, Nat rolled her eyes and flung the pink sheet of paper back onto the table. “What a control freak,” she muttered, glancing over all of the other papers. Misty had them neatly laid out so that Nat could read each one easily and not get messed up on what “step” she was on. “She’s really got you on a tight schedule here, huh, Caligula?”
The bird, who was now sitting on top of the teapot, squawked loudly again, as if to agree with her.
Nat smiled, and it was Caligula’s seemingly disdainful reaction to Misty’s pink, sparkly notes that made her change her plans. A spark in her eyes, she walked over to Caligula and said, “Hey. What do you say we ditch the lists and go on an adventure? It’ll be good for you, I promise.”
Nat could have sworn that the bird smiled at her before flying up to sit on her shoulder again. “Awesome. Let’s get going then, shall we?”
“Adventure!” Caligula repeated happily, nipping at Nat’s hair in a playful manner.
---
Thankfully it was summer, so Nat had the top of her Porsche lowered already when she slipped in with Caligula still on her shoulder. “Look,” she warned him, starting the car. “It’s gonna get windy, so hold on tight. Misty will fucking kill me if anything happens to you.”
“Misty!” Caligula said.
Nat grimaced at the thought of angry brown eyes, sharp nails and a very real threat to her life. “Yeah, Misty.”
She drove much slower than usual, but nonetheless felt Caligula’s blunt talons grip the skin of her shoulder tightly. It would have hurt if Misty didn’t keep his nails pristine and rounded. Nat only wished that she could keep her nails as neat as his. The sun was bright and the air fresh as it rushed past her face and through her dark hair. It had grown out slightly since her stint in California, and she was taking better care of it now too, so that it wasn’t so unruly and greasy. It even curled a little bit now, which Misty took great delight in. Nat liked the feeling of Misty running her fingers through her dark tresses, curling her waves around her fingers as she talked and talked and talked about nothing in particular.
As she was passing Shauna’s house, she saw her old friend working out in her garden. Nat slowed and honked her car horn to get the shorter woman’s attention.
Shauna jumped slightly, but smiled when she saw that it was only Nat. “Morning Nat. What’re you doing up and about before noon?”
“Pet sitting for Misty,” she replied, choosing to ignore Shauna’s dig at her if only for the fact that she didn’t trust Caligula (or Shauna, for that matter) to rat her out to Misty. “Caligula, say hi to Shauna.”
Caligula hopped on her shoulder happily. “Hello! Hi! Hello!”
Shauna looked surprised, but whether it was at Nat’s kindness or the bird himself, Nat didn’t know. She waved a gloved hand. “H-hi Caligula. It’s nice to meet you.”
Caligula squawked.
“Nice to see you, Shauna,” Nat said as she pressed on the gas again, not waiting for the brunette to answer her before she sped off towards town. She was starting to get hungry now. “How do you feel about a burger and fries?” she shouted over the wind at the parrot.
“Burger!”
“Fuck yeah,” Nat laughed loudly and turned the corner towards the fast food place. “Burger!”
---
Misty tapped her foot impatiently, staring down at Nat and Caligula accusingly. “Do either of you want to explain to me why Shauna called me to tell me that she saw you two driving around?”
Nat sat, looking down at her hands in her lap. “... Is no an option?”
“No!”
Nat winced and Caligula fluttered his wings, annoyed at the raised voice. “We were just having fun. And you said that he was supposed to go outside for two hours!” Nat added defensively when Misty opened her mouth to argue more.
The short blonde huffed, affronted. “That does not mean that you can just–”
But she was cut off when Caligula screeched at her and flew over to perch defiantly on Nat’s shoulder and nuzzle into her hair. Nat felt a great surge of pride and warmth as he did this, knowing that Caligula was on her side.
Misty, on the other hand, looked like she was torn between being overjoyed that her closest friend liked Nat and still being angry at Nat’s blatant disregard for her rules. It only took one look at the small, soft smile on Nat’s face as she gazed at Caligula for Misty to settle on being happy. “Ohh, just look at you two!” she said, clapping her hands together and sitting next to Nat on the couch.
“He’s pretty cool,” Nat said, eyes flicking to Misty and grinning wider.
Misty looked at Nat through long eyelashes, her finger tracing Caligula’s soft grey feathers. “He is,” she agreed, leaning over the bird to press a quick kiss to Nat’s lips. “But I’d say you’re cooler.”
“Does this mean that I’m forgiven?”
Misty’s eyes turned playfully aggravated again. “Oh, no. You’d better watch your back, Natalie Scatorccio. Punishment is imminent.”
Nat felt her heart sink. “Shit.”