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Hendery wasn’t addicted to gaming. No matter what everybody else said, he could live without his PC. “The Wong’s are disciplined,” his father used to remind him after catching Hendery hiding beneath his covers past his bedtime with his secondhand baby pink DS that he was gifted for his ninth birthday once his sister discarded it. “Sleep and work comes first, Kunhang.”
For the most part, he lived by those words.
When Hendery finally turned his PC off, he knew it was late. He didn’t need to look at the clock to know that if his parents were living with him his father would confiscate his computer for playing games when he has work first thing in the morning.
He blinked, his eyes adjusting to the darkness of his room after staring at a bright screen for hours and looked down at the watch sitting on his desk. 3:46. He puffed out his cheeks and blew out a defeated breath, resigned to the fate of pulling an all-nighter. Wouldn’t be the first time he practiced on no sleep, and even with the discipline of a Wong, he knew it wouldn’t be the last time either. He peeled himself from his chair, and stretched his limbs out, wincing at the persistent twinge in his back and numbness in his legs.
Maybe he does have a problem. It’s only natural to have a flaw or two, although he would never admit it where anybody else could hear it.
The apartment was dark when Hendery staggered his way into the kitchen, only bumping into one countertop on the way there. He stood there in the dark, with his hands on his hips and his stomach growling. What should he eat? He definitely didn’t feel like cooking anything, not this late.
He wasn’t skilled in that department, and the last thing he wanted was to start a fire in the kitchen while Dejun was sleeping. Just because he wasn’t getting any rest before practice didn’t mean Dejun shouldn’t.
It was also too late to order take-out. It always took Hendery hours to decide what he wanted anyways.
He could always search for leftovers. Between their dorm auntie and Dejun’s constant cooking, their fridge was never empty.
The memory came back to him then, of Dejun poking his head into Hendery’s bedroom hours earlier and asking if he was hungry. So invested in his gaming, Hendery offered Dejun an apologetic smile and shook his head no. Usually, Dejun pressed a bit harder even after Hendery said no. He was like that. Doting.
He yanked the refrigerator door open, illuminating the kitchen in a soft yellow glow, and grinned triumphantly when a large pot was the first thing to greet him. He crouched down and lifted the lid off, sighing happily as he took in a big whiff of Dejun’s shrimp stew. It always tasted best when it was cold, in Hendery’s opinion.
Thank God for Dejun and his ridiculously large portions. Hendery felt hungry enough to eat a thousand shrimp, at least.
Dejun wouldn’t mind if he finished off his soup, he was constantly encouraging Hendery to eat as much of his food as he could stomach. Dejun was always giddy to see Hendery enjoying his cooking, and Hendery lived up to that task well.
It was decided then. Hendery would clean the pot out if it killed him, as an apology for not joining Dejun at the dinner table when the food was still fresh.
Just as he reached to grab the pot’s chilled handles, he heard a forlorn whine that stopped him in his tracks. He jerked to his feet, squinting into the dimly lit kitchen and finding Bella laying on her belly, looking up at him with her head resting on her paws and her big brown eyes looking more pitiful than usual. What the hell?
“Bella,” Hendery whispered, he leaned down and scratched her behind her ears. Her tail thumped excitedly against the tile, and she nuzzled her head further into his hand. “What are you doing out here, princess?” He playfully scolded, a smile stretched across his face as she jumped to her feet and placed her front paws on his knees. Gently, he held her face between his palms to stop her from slobbering all over his cheeks. “Can’t sleep, huh? You must take after me.”
She blinked up at him, uncomprehending but no less excited. She didn’t want to be alone, obviously. Hendery straightened, and looked down the hallway at Dejun’s closed bedroom door with a frown on his face. Why would Dejun leave Bella out here, alone, at three in the morning? She always slept in his bed, Hendery couldn’t even remember the last time Dejun closed his bedroom door at night. He liked to leave it open, so Bella could go in and out as she pleased.
Then again, Dejun was busy. Stressed. They all were. If they weren’t preparing for their comeback, they were preparing for a long awaited stage or SM’s year end events. If it wasn’t every day, it was every other day.
He would never say it directly, but Hendery could tell that he was strung tight. Tense.
It was possible that he just… forgot to leave his door open. It was out of character, but there had to be a reason and it was the only explanation Hendery could come up with.
“Alright girl,” Hendery mumbled, looking back at Bella. She perked up as he gestured towards Dejun’s bedroom door. “Let’s go.”
Bella’s nails clicked noisily against the floor as she trotted alongside him, and Hendery vaguely remembered Dejun saying that she was due for a clipping. He wondered if she scratched at the door at all, and uneasiness settled in the pit of his stomach. He was reminding himself that he had nothing to worry about when his hand grabbed the knob, and it didn’t budge. Locked. Bella stared up at him, patiently.
Huh.
Hendery jiggled the knob again and yep, definitely locked.
He stood there staring at the door, dumbfounded. If it was any of the other members, Hendery wouldn’t think twice about them keeping their door locked overnight. He looked back down at Bella, who was laying down with her snout resting on her paws again. Every time Dejun so much as took a shower he would open Hendery’s door, letting Bella in his room so she wouldn't be lonely. In the past, Hendery teased him for treating her like she couldn’t be left alone for fifteen minutes.
Hendery didn’t believe that Dejun would ever be so tired and forgetful that he wouldn’t remember to let Bella into his bedroom.
“Dejun?” Hendery called through the door, gently rapping one of his knuckles against it. He waited, keeping his ears open for a response, the springs on his mattress shifting, anything.
“Dejun!” A bit louder. Bella skittered back nervously at his outburst. He knocked again, rattling the door hard enough that it shook on its hinges. “Dejuuuun!”
“It’s four in the morning.” Dejun hissed from the other side, so quiet that Hendery had to press his ear up against the door to hear him. Still, hearing his voice sent a wash of relief through him. Great, so he hasn’t passed out from exhaustion in there. “We have neighbors.”
There was something off about his voice. He didn’t sound sleepy, he sounded almost… strained. It was the same way his voice sounded after a workout, not after waking up. Hendery has heard how he sounds in both circumstances enough to know. He was speaking quickly too, frantically.
A thought occurred to Hendery then. Maybe Dejun wasn’t alone. He wouldn’t invite somebody over without telling Hendery though… would he?
“Bella is out here.” Hendery reasoned, he gestured wildly towards her even though he knew Dejun wouldn’t be able to see it. “She’s crying.”
Bella stared up at him, placidly.
“No, she’s not.” It sounded like he was standing directly on the other side of the door, but his voice didn’t get any louder. “Just let her sleep in your room… please?”
Hendery could feel himself growing agitated. If Dejun had company over he should just say so. Hendery was a great roommate, he was an accommodating roommate. He took care of Bella when Dejun needed him to, he kept the apartment clean, he didn’t get mad when their neighbors scolded him even though it was Dejun who was singing loudly in the shower. If Dejun didn’t want to be disturbed, then Hendery would watch Bella for him.
Didn’t he deserve the courtesy of Dejun’s honesty? It’s not like he would make a big deal out of it. When he was still sharing a room with Ten, he didn’t make a big deal over him staying out all night and coming home in last night’s clothes or, occasionally, someone else’s.
There were plenty of nights where Hendery would sleep on the couch if Ten brought someone home with him. Sure, he complained, but he still did it.
“Is somebody in there with you?” Hendery asked, and couldn’t quite keep the bitterness out of his voice.
There was a silence from the other side of the door, it lasted long enough that Hendery was preparing himself to lob more accusations at Dejun’s bedroom door. “Is somebody in here with me?” Dejun squeaked, incredulously. “Why would you say that?”
Hendery sighed, heftily. Despite himself, a smile began to spread across his lips. Even by accident, it was too easy to get Dejun worked up. “Do I have to keep talking to your bedroom door?”
To Hendery’s relief, the door opened a sliver. Only enough for Hendery to see half of Dejun’s shadowed face, but that was all he needed. He was flushed, and his skin had a sheen to it. Once again, Hendery was reminded of what Dejun looked like post-workout. When he met Dejun’s eyes, he saw they were half-lidded and the whites were now pink.
“Hey Bella.” Dejun huffed out as she tried to shove her snout into the doorway and squirm into Dejun’s bedroom, he made the crack marginally smaller and Bella gave up rather quickly. Dejun looked back up at Hendery, steady trembling. “Happy?”
“You look awful.” Hendery admitted. Even in the dark he could tell that Dejun was glowering at him. “I mean, are you okay? You look…”
Dejun’s breathing was slow, measured. He was actively working to keep himself steady. To remain calm. He arched an eyebrow then, urging Hendery to finish his sentence. “I don’t know.” Hendery inched nearer, trying to get a closer look. Dejun flinched back, sinking a bit further into the safety of his bedroom. “You look like you’re in pain.”
“It’s nothing. A headache.”
It looked like more than just a headache. But Hendery wouldn’t push. Dejun was clearly unwell, and didn’t want to ask for help. Lucky for him, he had a roommate that was willing to help him out no questions asked. And who happened to be awake.
“Let me help.” Hendery offered, he placed one of his palms on the door and pushed at it gently to open it wider. Dejun scrambled to hold the door where it was, pushing back.
“N-no!” Dejun shouted, startling both Hendery and Bella. “I’m okay, I-I don’t need help.”
“Oh come on, Jun.” Hendery argued, steadily pushing now to keep Dejun from slamming the door in his face. “You always make me soup when I get sick, I owe you one.”
“Maybe I don’t want you seeing me like this.”
Hendery rolled his eyes, he pushed the door open enough to stick his face into the crack. Not that it gave him a better view of Dejun, who was plastered against the back of the door. “Aw, are you getting shy? Don’t worry Dejun, I’m sure you’re still pretty.”
Dejun peeled himself off of the door but kept his palm on it, allowing for Hendery to more effectively wiggle his face into the small opening without bombarding into his room. He hoped Dejun changed his mind about letting him into his room quickly, the door was squeezing his cheeks so hard he would probably bruise. “Maybe you can do something for me.” He mumbled. Hendery nodded his head, making the door shake. “Would you mind waking up Kun Ge or Ten Hyung?”
Hendery pulled his face out of the crack, which gave Dejun a window to block it again. He frowned, studying the small portion of Dejun’s face he could see. “Are you being serious?”
“I’d rather you not wake up Yangyang. If I have to get his help I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“You’re serious?” Hendery knew he was whining now. “Why are you so stubborn, huh? What do you need that I can’t do? I can get you a warm towel? A massage? We have aspirin… maybe… I’ll run to the store and get you aspirin. I want to help.”
His feelings were hurt, and it was obvious. What could Kun and Ten do that Hendery couldn’t? Dejun always came to him when he needed help, albeit it was for menial things like opening jars and passing him the remote but the point is Hendery liked helping. He liked it when Dejun wanted him… needed him for something. He just liked feeling useful, that’s all.
“It’s nothing you did wrong.” He shifted uncomfortably, avoiding Hendery’s intense gaze. “You’re just… the last person I want to see right now.”
Slowly, Hendery nodded, his heart dropping so far out of his chest he could hear it splat on the ground between him and Dejun. He cleared his throat awkwardly, and started to back away from the door. Preparing to run to his room and hide until his manager dragged him out kicking and screaming first thing in the morning. “Alright um… I’ll just… Okay.”
Dejun reached a trembling hand out, and wrapped his long fingers around Hendery’s wrist in a gentle grip. Hendery stared down at Dejun’s hand on him, small and elegant next to Hendery’s drummer hands. “That came out wrong.” He mumbled sheepishly, Hendery couldn’t bring himself to look away from where Dejun’s thumb was running back and forth along his inner wrist, absentmindedly. “This isn’t something you want to help me with, trust me.”
Hendery had an idea that Dejun wasn’t being completely honest about just having a headache but he couldn’t imagine what was so wrong that he was willing to wake Kun or Ten up but unwilling to accept Hendery’s offer.
“Can’t be worse than the time you asked me to help you give Bella a bath.” Hendery teased, he looked at Dejun and smiled when he saw that Dejun was rolling his eyes, fighting hard not to smile himself. “I’m already awake, Dejun. I’m here.” He tapped his own chest. “Come on, don’t make me beg anymore.”
Dejun studied his face, his eyebrows pulling together and eyes darting back and forth across Hendery’s face. Searching for something, Hendery wasn’t sure what. Whatever it was, he must have found it. He sighed, and gave Hendery’s wrist a squeeze before dropping it. “You can’t let Bella in.” Dejun instructed quietly. He poked Hendery in the chest then. “And you have to promise not to laugh at me.”
“When have I ever?”
He opened the door wider, enough so that Hendery could shuffle his way inside. “Just a minute, girl.” Hendery said to Bella, who was staring up at him with what could only be betrayal in her innocent eyes. “Your mommy is sick, I’ll be out in a minute.”
Dejun was there to close the door when Hendery slipped inside, and he graciously didn’t smack Hendery on the shoulder for the Mommy comment. Hendery blinked, trying to adjust his eyes to the pitch black bedroom while Dejun locked the door behind them.
“Afraid Bella will grow opposable thumbs while we’re in here?” Hendery asked, his voice loud in the silent room. He didn’t get a response, and he couldn’t see Dejun at all anymore. “Is it a bad time to tell you I’m scared of the dark?”
The lights flicked on. Hendery sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth and his hand shot up to shield his eyes. He was playing it up a bit, trying to make Dejun laugh. Always trying to do that. He dropped his hand and looked, only for a very real, very strangled gasp when he saw him. He was worse for wear, his long silver hair was messy and damp, plastered to his forehead with red-rimmed eyes that matched his red cheeks. But that wasn’t what caught his attention, Dejun was wearing a-
“Ten Hyung gave it to me. For my birthday.”
Dejun tugged on the end of the silky robe that cut off high on his thighs. It was baby pink, lined with white fur and barely hanging on to Dejun’s shoulders. He was still quivering, Hendery imagined that if he shook hard enough, the robe would slip off entirely. His fists clenched by his sides.
Hendery was staring. He only realized that he was staring when Dejun self-consciously wrapped his arms around his body and frowned at Hendery, concernedly. Right. It was his turn to talk.
“Looks… breezy.” Hendery choked out, and at that, Dejun smiled bashfully.
“It’s pretty though, isn’t it?”
Very, Hendery thought. He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud.
“You… you need help?” Hendery stuttered out, trying to get them back on track. He wondered if whatever Dejun had was catching, because he started to feel… off. A part of him wished he went and woke up Kun Ge after all, Kun wouldn’t have trouble looking into Dejun’s lidded eyes, with his eyelashes that brushed against his flushed cheeks every time he blinked. He stared down at Dejun’s lips instead, which were red and swollen like Dejun was biting at them and…
The sheets on Dejun’s bed were a crumpled mess, it looked like he was twisting and turning in them, writhing maybe. He wasn’t having any trouble looking at it and that’s all that mattered.
He jumped when Dejun gently placed a hand on his arm. “I’m not actually sick, Guanheng.” He admitted, as if Hendery hadn’t figured that out all on his own. He was standing so close that Hendery could smell his perfume and his minty mouthwash. He inhaled, surreptitiously, and was met with nothing but Dejun. He swallowed roughly, throat bobbing. He didn’t for a single second, look back at Dejun.
“Figured.” Hendery managed, laughing nervously. “You’re a shit liar, you know.”
“Mhm.” Dejun whimpered, and squeezed Hendery’s arm tighter. Alarmed at the sudden change in behavior, Hendery’s eyes snapped back to Dejun. “You can still say no, I won’t get mad. Y-You can go get Ten Hyung or Kun Ge.”
“What is it?” Hendery asked, instead of gracing that with an answer. He looked at Dejun’s face, really looked. His eyes were glazed, he kept grabbing his lower lip and worrying it between his teeth. And he was shaking even harder. “You’re not dying, right? I don’t think either one of us is making it to practice in a few hours if you are.”
“Idiot.” Dejun breathed, but a smile flitted across his face. Habitually, Hendery knocked his shoulder against Dejun’s. Suddenly, Dejun whined brokenly and his knees wobbled beneath him. He swayed where he stood and before his legs could buckle beneath him, Hendery grabbed him around his waist and held him steady. Dejun’s flushed face was pressed against Hendery’s bare shoulder.
“It’s stuck.” He whispered, his lips grazing against Hendery’s collarbone. Goosebumps blossomed over Hendery’s skin. His eyes slid shut, and he took a deep calming breath before he opened them again.
“What? What’s stuck?” He asked, unable to focus on Dejun’s words when the heat of his body was pressed right up against Hendery. His arms were around Hendery’s shoulders, his fingers in his hair. Hendery breathed in again, and the smell of Dejun’s strawberry shampoo invaded his nostrils.
Dejun peeled himself away from Hendery, still unsteady on his feet. Hendery kept one hand on Dejun’s hip, lightly brushing against the pink silk. “Inside,” Dejun looked miserable, despondent and ashamed as he stared up at Hendery. “Of me.” He whispered.
Hendery swept his eyes over Dejun’s body again, and it clicked.
“Oh.” He mouthed. He could picture it then. Dejun locking Bella out of his room for a few hours of alone time. Dejun taking his time in the shower, crawling into bed smelling like strawberries in his silky pink robe, lubing up his fingers and… Hendery’s fingertips slipped from Dejun’s waist. To his dismay, his pajama bottoms were starting to feel tight. “How long have you been…” Hendery waved a hand around, his throat was so dry it was aching. He looked back at Dejun, who was staring at Hendery like he might burst into tears at any second. “Oh hey, don’t… don’t cry. I told you I would help, remember?”
He brought one of his shaking hands up to Dejun’s face, and gently cupped one of his cheeks in his palm. His thumb rubbed against the soft skin above Dejun’s cheekbone, and his eyes fluttered shut. His long lashes barely brushed against the tip of Hendery’s thumb. “It’s been hours, hasn’t it? You should have called me in here, you must be miserable.”
“It’s not that bad.” Dejun opened his eyes, a familiar fire in his eyes. “Just overstimulated. Sore.”
Hendery’s cock twitched in his pants and oh, what is wrong with him? Your friend is in pain, sicko. The voice in his head, which sounded oddly like Yangyang, scorned him. You’re getting off on this?
“What do you want me to do?”
“I just need you to help me get it out.” Dejun sighed tiredly, his shoulders slumping in defeat. He knew it was coming, but it didn't feel like any less of a sucker punch hearing him say it. “I’m usually so good at prepping correctly. I like to take my time, I prefer the slide to be easy, you know? But I’ve been so stressed lately and I rushed it. I just wanted to feel good.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself.” Hendery rushed to reassure, in part to just stop Dejun from going into further detail on how he plays with his asshole. “Look, I’m not judging, we’ve all been… there.” Dejun gave him a look, and he grimaced awkwardly. “Sorry. Um… how about you…”
Hendery looked back at the bed, in its disarray. He tried to imagine which position would be easiest for him to… remove the asset. Hands and knees, probably. “Make yourself comfortable.” He had no idea how he was still standing with all of the blood in his body splitting itself evenly between his burning face and his cock. “Pick a position.”
Dejun smiled at him then, looking a bit more like himself. “Do you have a preference, Mr. Huang?” He teased, Hendery gave him a dry look.
“Just bend over.” He grumbled. Dejun barked out a laugh as Hendery’s face progressively turned redder and redder. At least Dejun was no longer alone in his embarrassment.
Dejun crawled onto the bed, it creaked beneath his weight as he slowly positioned himself on his hands and knees in the center, facing away from Hendery. The light atmosphere was gone but Hendery knew better than to try and tell another joke. “Is this okay?” Dejun asked, his body was tense like he was ready to jump out of bed at any second and make a run for it.
Get it together, Hendery.
“Fine.” Hendery choked out, he scanned the room quickly and snagged Dejun’s bottle of lube on the shelf behind his bed before climbing on the bed behind Dejun. He sat there on his knees, floundering as he stared at the robe draped over Dejun’s ass.
“Hendery.”
He snapped out of it, and as delicately as he could, flipped Dejun’s robe up to expose him. Hendery felt the urge to laugh, in a hysterical fashion, but he choked it down. He didn’t want Dejun thinking he was being laughed at because Hendery was losing it. “Okay.” Hendery whispered to himself, and then louder, “I’m… I’m gonna touch you now, is that okay?”
Dejun buried his face into his arms, and nodded. Hendery could still see his bright red earlobes.
Shakily, he squirted lube onto his fingers, so much that it was dripping on Dejun’s sheets beneath him. Gingerly, with the hand not coated in lube, he pulled one of Dejun’s cheeks back. His hole was scarlet red, it didn’t look too irritated but he couldn’t even see the plug yet. Dejun’s rosy little hole winked up at Hendery, and he shifted uncomfortably.
“Go slow.” Dejun spoke up suddenly, frantically. He raised his head and looked back at Hendery, pleadingly. Hendery nodded wordlessly, and hoped Dejun could see the commitment in his eyes. He wouldn’t hurt him. He would never hurt Dejun. He must have seen what he wanted, because he offered Hendery a shaky smile and dropped his head back onto his arms.
Hendery took a breath, and brushed one of his fingers against Dejun’s rim. Dejun gasped immediately, and he jerked his hand away, his heart beating a million miles a second. “What? What happened?”
“Just sensitive.” Dejun’s voice was breathier than Hendery had ever heard it. His lube covered hand was hanging in mid-air, limply. “I’ll tell you if I need to stop.”
For the second time, Hendery placed his fingers at Dejun’s fluttering rim. He was stretched, plenty stretched, and all Hendery really needed to do was grab ahold of the plug and pull it out. But, Dejun was tense. So tense that Hendery could see the muscles in his arms and thighs bulging, and his back was ramrod straight.
“You need to relax.” Hendery winced hearing his own shaky voice. Maybe he should take his own advice.
“No kidding.” Dejun griped. His shoulders rose and fell a few times as he breathed, slowly. He relaxed his body, marginally, and gave Hendery a nod when he was ready.
Hendery took a breath, and slipped his finger in. It wasn't so tight that Hendery couldn’t slide his finger in, but tight enough that he could still feel Dejun’s muscles clamping down around him. Although he couldn’t see the plug, it didn’t take him long to find it. Uncomfortable, but not painful. He picked up the lube bottle with the hand not inside Dejun, uncapped it with his teeth and poured some directly onto Dejun’s hole. He was still loose enough that slipping his thumb inside next to his pointer finger didn’t require too much stretching, but once it touched the plug, he realized exactly why Dejun needed another hand to get it out.
His fingers slipped around the circular end a few times, but he eventually managed to place his fingers on either side, without stretching Dejun out much more. He gave a small tug, to see how much resistance there was, and Dejun gasped.
“Sorry.” Hendery whispered.
He tried again, and the plug didn’t move. With every slight shift from Hendery’s fingers, Dejun tightened around him that much more. He shifted his fingers around, getting a better grip on the plug, and his knuckles brushed against something that had Dejun gasping again, breathier. A sound Hendery wasn’t meant to hear. He tried to wiggle the plug, softly rocking it up and down, side to side. He managed to pull it back, and Dejun whimpered. His upper body collapsed against the mattress, and his back arched. His muscles clamped down hard on Hendery’s fingers.
Hendery closed his eyes, breathed through his nose, and tugged it again. It wasn’t moving at all now. When he looked inside of Dejun’s gape, he saw a glimmer of green peeking from inside of him.
“Just do it.” Dejun pleaded. “Please.”
Hendery wouldn’t hurt Dejun like that. He couldn’t risk ripping the plug out of him and causing internal damage to his sensitive walls, at this rate if he tried that he’s not sure he could even if he wanted to. He had to get Dejun to relax, that was his only option.
But Dejun wouldn’t relax unless he relaxed.
It didn’t matter that Hendery was aching in his sweats, or that this was probably the most intimate thing he had ever done with a person. Dejun was in distress.
Dejun was hurting.
And nobody knew Dejun like Hendery. He could figure out what it was Dejun needed to hear.
“You’re okay.” He offered, shakily, dropping the lube bottle back onto the sheets to rub Dejun’s lower back with his hands. He could feel goosebumps along Dejun’s back. “Just calm down, can you calm down for me?”
Dejun was quiet for a moment. “I-I don’t know.”
“Sure you do.” Hendery’s hand worked its way up Dejun’s back, to one of his shoulders. He dug his thumb into the tight muscle there and Dejun shuddered. “You’ve done everything else I asked you to. So good for me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Hendery agreed, he picked up the bottle of lube again and drizzled some into Dejun’s open hole. He watched the slick trickle inside of him, making his red pucker shine like a cherry. He worked his fingers back inside Dejun, grabbed a hold of the plug and began to shift it back and forth. “Can you do something for me, Jun?”
“Mhm.”
“Hold yourself open, so I can look inside you better.”
Dejun shivered, but immediately complied, pressing his face into his sweat covered pillow to hold himself open with his hands.
“Perfect.” Hendery assured. It worked, well enough that Hendery was able to shift the plug again, slowly pulling it until the plug’s bejeweled end was nearly at his rim. The plug caught there, but Hendery felt as though a weight was lifted off of his chest. He could do this. As long as Dejun stayed relaxed, and maybe with a bit more maneuvering… he gave the plug a wiggle.
Dejun’s body jerked, and a broken whine fell from his throat. Hendery froze, willing his fingers not to move, even though his instinct was to rip them out of Dejun. “Did I hurt you?”
Dejun was squirming, his toes curling and uncurling every few seconds. Hendery could feel the muscles inside of him fluttering around his fingertips, around the plug. Clenching and unclenching. “No.” He panted, shaking his head. “It’s-It’s pressing… Guanheng, please go faster.”
“You have to tell me what’s wrong.” Hendery explained, as softly as he could manage, trying not to sound as distressed as he felt.
Just as he was about to suggest they find a doctor to get this thing out of him, Hendery looked between Dejun’s legs, where his cock was hanging. Where his cock was hardening. He felt a rush of heat travel from his scalp down to his own crotch.
“Nothing I haven’t seen before.” Hendery deserved an award for getting his voice to cooperate with him. He rubbed Dejun’s back even harder, afraid that if he stopped he would stick it down the front of his pants instead. “Come on, it’s okay. I already told you, I’m not judging.”
“I’m sorry.” Dejun whined anyways, and he managed to lift his head up and look back at Guangheng with pleading brown eyes. His thick lashes were wet with unshed tears. “This must be so weird for you. I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, listen to me. Stop apologizing. You can’t help it that your body is responding to this. I’m just happy I’m not hurting you. Would be easier to pull out if you were as relaxed as you had been when you put it in.” Hendery paused. It would be easier to do this if Dejun was actually enjoying himself… for Dejun. Not for him. He would rather Dejun not start touching himself, the last thing he needed was to cum in his pants with his fingers still inside Dejun.
It wasn’t about Hendery.
“If you need to take care of that while I’m doing this… you don’t have to,” He rushed to add, cringing and hoping that Dejun wasn’t taking his acceptance as eagerness. “That’s why you did this, right? To feel good.”
“You can’t possibly want that.” Dejun whispered, his eyebrows furrowing.
“I don’t want you to feel good?” Hendery smiled, circling his finger around Dejun’s rib cage playfully. Dejun lazily tried to swat his hand away, barely missing him. “I can’t have all the fun by myself.”
Dejun scoffed.
“Besides, it will help you relax.”
Doubtfully, Dejun burrowed his face back into the pillow, and arched a bit more drastically. Get on with it.
Hendery grabbed the plug, he had a better grip on it now than he did when they first started, but it was still so slippery and tight. He had to work slowly, had to fuck the toy into Dejun to get it to slide back out, to get his hole to relax. Gently, he rocked it again and Dejun grabbed the sheets between his fingers, and held them in an iron grip. He was just getting more and more tense with every movement Hendery made.
“Why don’t you think about something else?”
“Like what?” Dejun whispered miserably into his pillow.
“Like whatever it was you were thinking about when you put this thing inside of you.”
Dejun furiously shook his head no, and Hendery could feel himself becoming agitated that he couldn’t just find a simple solution to make this easier on Dejun. “Or someone else?” He offered, hating himself for feeling a flash of envy at that.
“No.” Dejun protested, shaking his head again. “Can you just… keep talking to me?”
Hendery blinked. Isn’t that what he’s been doing this entire time? “What should I say?” Dejun was silent. He couldn’t possibly be asking Hendery to… “I can’t promise I’ll be any good at that.”
Dejun groaned, covering his face with one of his arms. “You don’t have to. Just forget I asked.”
Hendery wasn’t that selfless. If Dejun was asking, he wasn’t saying no. “I told you already. Several times.” Hendery removed his fingers from inside Dejun, and gently stroked them around his rim. Dejun trembled at the touch. “If you want my help, if you want me,” He stopped, and looked at the back of Dejun’s head warily. “Is that what you want?”
“Please.” Dejun breathed, he squirmed beneath Hendery’s teasing touch.
“Good.” Hendery immediately began circling Dejun’s rim with his thumb, teasing and Dejun arched higher up, gasping into his arms. “I want that too.” Hendery mumbled, he dipped his fingers back into Dejun’s hole, and grabbed the plug with intent. He ground the plug across Dejun’s prostate, and he cried out into the pillow. “How does that feel, huh? Tell me how it feels.”
“S’good.” Dejun blabbered, his hips were rocking in time with the back and forth grind inside of him. Hendery grabbed a hold of Dejun’s hip, holding him in place as he loosened Dejun’s clenching gape with shallow thrusts. “I’m so full… I can feel it everywhere.”
Hendery’s cock twitched in his pants. The plug squelched inside of Dejun’s pretty red hole, making the most obscene sounds that Hendery knew would become a feature in his dreams. “You like that? You like being stuffed and plugged up?” Dejun nodded, he tilted his face slightly and Hendery could see the flush on his cheeks, his lower lip caught between his teeth. “Yeah, you look like you like that.”
“Do you like how I look?” Dejun asked, voice barely audible.
Fuck.
Dejun asked for this, he wanted Hendery to talk him through this. Hendery knew Dejun better than anyone, and Hendery knew that all he wanted to hear was praise from somebody who loved him. He looked at the back of Dejun’s head, and his lips stretched into a sad smile. Who better to do than Hendery?
“A bit slutty.” He joked, and he was relieved to hear Dejun let out an exasperated laugh. “Beautiful,” He didn’t try to hide the reverence in his voice. Hendery squeezed his hip a little harder, as he gave one good tug on the plug. The jeweled end was lined up with Dejun’s swollen rim now. “Can’t keep my eyes off of you.”
Dejun was quiet, he was breathing shakily but unlike earlier, it wasn’t anxiety that was making him sound like that. It was just Hendery. That only spurred him on.
“You know how pretty you look, don’t you? You want me to notice how pretty you are.” Hendery circled his pointer finger around the end of the plug, grazing Dejun’s rim and causing him to let out a litany of garbled words, Hendery jumbled among them. “Pretty sounds too… as expected of our vocalist.” Hendery placed his thumb on the end of the plug, and pressed. “Are you singing for me, Dejun?”
“Unghh…” Dejun moaned, cum was dripping from his cock onto the sheets. Mingling with the puddle of lube beneath his knees. Hendery wished then, that he was laying on his back so he could run his tongue up and down that shaft, wrap his lips around the wet tip.
“I can’t believe I’m seeing you like this.”
“I’m sorry.” Dejun spoke so quietly that it took Hendery a moment to process what he said.
He frowned, moving his thumb off of the plug and holding back Dejun’s hips from chasing after his hand. “Why do you keep apologizing, huh?” Hendery clicked his tongue, and used his dry hand to tease his fingers over Dejun’s perineum. “You keep giving me credit I don’t deserve. You have no idea how glad I am that it’s me here. You think this is too much for me? It’s not enough.”
Hendery watched as Dejun fondled the head of his own cock, teasing himself. “What else do you want?” He goaded, reaching between his legs to rub his fingers around his hole. Hendery pushed his hand away, and replaced it with his. He grabbed the end of the plug and fucked it in, punching another whimper out of Dejun.
“I want to see your face, want to see what you look like when I’m-” Hendery’s voice caught, the reality of the situation sinking back in for him.
“When you’re what?” Dejun whispered, he was turning his head, seeking out Hendery’s eyes. Hendery stared at the plug instead, keeping Dejun stretched. Hendery fucked the plug back in, and then out, working up the nerve to keep talking. This is what Dejun needs, he reminded himself, he needs you.
“When I’m fucking you.”
Dejun finally grabbed his cock and started jacking it frantically, desperately. Hendery drank in the sight, greedily. If this was the only time he was seeing Dejun like this, he wanted to remember it. “I could just slip right in when this thing comes out, huh? That’s what you really wanted isn’t it?” Hendery laughed then, fondly. “Greedy thing. Little toy wasn’t enough for you, was it?”
Dejun shook his head, little moans fell from his lips with every nudge from Hendery’s fingers against the plug. “You would take me so well, wouldn’t you?” Dejun nodded this time, and Hendery started thrusting his own hips into the air, desperate for friction he didn’t have. “So sweet to let me have my turn with that poor little hole. I’ll treat it nicely though, promise. Make you feel really good.”
“I want you to.” Dejun babbled, his hand stroking his cock was moving in sync with the back and forth motion of the plug slowly slipping out. They were nearing the widest part. “Want to… want to see you too. So bad.”
“Oh, yeah?” He hoped his voice wasn’t shaking. “You would say that to any guy who walked in here.”
“Asshole.” Dejun snapped back, shaking his head no. Dejun’s rim was being stretched to capacity, and he was gasping into the sheets as Hendery started to pull. “Just you, Guanheng.”
Hendery looked at the back of Dejun’s head, his eyes wide. What did that mean? He couldn’t start asking questions when Dejun’s rim was gaping. They were at the home stretch. He set his jaw, determinedly, and with one final tug, Hendery managed to pull the plug from inside of Dejun. Dejun sobbed into the sheets, stroking his own cock even faster.
Hendery looked into Dejun’s stretched hole, red and swollen and pretty. His cock throbbed just looking at it. This was Dejun’s most intimate, private place. A place that Hendery had never, even in his wildest fantasies, imagined he would get a chance at touching.
Of course he fantasized about Dejun. He tried not to, Dejun was his friend, after all. In all of his fantasies it never got further than kissing, some fondling if he was feeling particularly frisky. Now he was watching his best friend, his weird roommate who wrote songs for people he cared about and smiled at him like he hung the moon, as he fucked into his own hand, cherry red asshole clenching around nothing. ‘Just you, Guanheng.’
He dropped the plug on the sheets, and stroked two of his fingers around Dejun’s gaping rim.
“My turn?”
Dejun came.
All over his sheets, and his own hand with a girlish cry that had Hendery wishing he could record it and play it for himself to hear. Again and again. Hendery knew, the moment he wrapped a hand around himself, he was a goner.
Dejun was gasping for breath, still face down and shaking. Hendery ran his hands up and down the backs of Dejun’s thighs, comfortingly. When Dejun caught his breath, he rolled over onto his back, barely avoiding the wet spot as he plopped down on the side of the bed near the wall. His robe was open, and his arms were splayed above his head as he stared at the ceiling, his chest moving up and down rhythmically. Hendery tried not to stare at his nipples, hard and raw-looking from where they were rubbing against the sheets. Dejun looked at him with glassy eyes, the wet streaks on his cheeks caught the light as he tilted his head.
He really was beautiful. Even more beautiful than usual, if that’s possible. With his hair falling into his wet eyelashes, his lips parted and his spent cock resting on his thigh. Hendery supposed he had the restraint of a thousand men as he drank in the sight, unmoving.
“Your turn.” Dejun finally said, and spread his legs open, tilting his puffy hole up just so. It took Hendery a moment to remember what he was being offered.
“You just had that thing inside of you for hours, Jun.” Hendery mumbled, shameful that he even asked in the first place. “I’m not… sticking anything else inside of you.”
He couldn’t bring himself to say ‘fucking you.’ Again.
“You want to though.” Dejun said, and Hendery flinched. “You said so.”
“Yeah.” Hendery answered shortly.
Dejun stared at him through lidded eyelids, pensively. His gaze was seeking, and Hendery wasn’t very good at hiding. Dejun sat up on one of his elbows, and reached out to grab Hendery’s hand in his, rubbing his thumb over Hendery’s knuckles. “Thank you.” He said, with such sincerity it made Hendery’s chest ache. “You took care of me.”
Hendery shrugged, looking away from Dejun’s probing eyes to their joined hands. It was harder to be honest when Dejun was looking right at him, harder to not just crack a joke and run away.
“Now, let me take care of you.”
Hendery was shaking his head before he could finish. “I’m not using your asshole.” He looked Dejun in the eyes to say as much, firm on his stance. It would be a miracle if Dejun could walk in the morning, Hendery would have to be a sadist to fuck him in this state.
“Who said anything about my asshole?” Dejun was smiling then, slyly, like he knew the effect he had on Hendery and he must by now. If not because of Hendery’s choked reaction, then the way his dick jerked in response to that. “Couldn’t stop thinking about getting a taste of—”
“Stop.” Hendery squeezed his eyes shut, and for the first time all night, pressed a hand against his crotch. Giving his cock some much needed relief. When he opened his eyes again, Dejun was looking at him with a lazy, sex happy smile. “Don’t think I’ll even get as far as your lips.”
Dejun looked so pleased with himself.
“Just… let me…” He shoved his sweatpants down and whipped his cock out, wrapped his hands around the shaft and started pumping while staring at Dejun’s gaping hole.
“Can’t believe you won’t put this in me.” Dejun sighed dejectedly, and he reached forward to bat Hendery’s hand away from his cock, replacing it with his own. “That’s all I could think about when I was fucking myself. What you would do if I walked into your room and just climbed onto your lap and asked you to fuck me.”
“Pinch myself, probably. You think about me a lot?” Hendery grinned, Dejun twisted his wrist on the next stroke up and Hendery choked.
“Do you think about me?” Dejun countered, looking directly into Hendery’s eyes. Good point. Dejun leaned in closer, so close that his breath fanned across Hendery’s lips with every exhale. Hendery felt himself going cross-eyed as he looked down at Dejun’s mouth, he darted his tongue out to lick his lips. “Do you want me to crawl underneath your desk while you’re gaming? Suck your dick to see how long you can last before you abandon your game to grab me by the hair and fuck my throat? Or do you think about how I would look folded in half while you use my hole like a toy, begging you to cum inside me so you can lick it right back out? Or do you want me to join you in the shower when you’re fingering yourself, push you against the wall and replace your fingers with my cock. Fuck you so hard I have to cover your mouth so the neighbors can’t hear you screaming.”
Hendery laughed, working his hips up into Dejun’s fist. “You’re crazy.”
Dejun smiled at him, a sweet pleased little smile that made Hendery’s heart stutter in his chest. All it took was a few more strokes and another glance at Dejun’s hole, still clenching around nothing, for Hendery to cum all over his bare chest. While Hendery was catching his breath, Dejun brought his fingers up to his mouth and sucked one clean. Hendery groaned aloud at the sight. Dejun’s nose scrunched, and he wiped his hand on his already filthy sheets. “You need to drink more water.”
Hendery huffed out a laugh. “Your pillowtalk could use some work.”
“Your diet could use some work.” Dejun countered brattily, poking at Hendery’s arm with his pointer finger. “You should eat more.”
“That’s what I was doing before I…” Hendery gestured to Dejun’s body, his cheeks flushing. “You know. Skipped straight to dessert.”
“Skipped straight to dessert.” Dejun repeated, hiding his face behind his hands to giggle. Hendery felt himself melt at the sight. When Dejun stopped laughing, he looked up at Hendery through his pretty eyes and Hendery yearned to lean down and capture his lips. “Aren’t you supposed to be cleaning me up? Honestly Guanheng, do I have to do everything around here?”
Hendery jumped into action then, Dejun scoffed in amusement as he scrambled to his feet. He barely made it to the adjoining bathroom on his wobbly knees to grab a wet towel. He cleaned himself up first, it wasn’t all that hard since he really only had a bit of his own cum dripping down his chest. He grabbed another towel and some ointment for Dejun, and headed back into the room. Dejun was compliant, and quiet while Hendery wiped the cum off his stomach and his inner thighs. His breath caught once when Hendery rubbed some ointment over his hole, and Hendery mumbled a quiet apology. He was globbing some more ointment out onto his fingers, when Dejun spoke, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Hendery asked, bewildered. It’s not like Dejun could help it that he was running out of ointment. He looked up, and saw Dejun’s lower lip wobbling, he was staring up at the ceiling, blankly. “Hey hey hey…” Hendery crawled up the bed, avoiding the wet spot to drape an arm over Dejun in a lazy half hug. “Don’t do that. You know I cry every time you do.”
Dejun gave him a wobbly smile, and rested his forehead against Hendery’s shoulder. “I shouldn’t have let you do this. I know you wanted to help but I should have just asked Kun to help me. Hours ago.”
Hendery felt his throat tighten, dread and shame curdled in his stomach. “Oh.” He swallowed heavily. “I-I’m the one that should be apologizing, Dejun. It got out of hand and that’s my fault, because I just… I just want to make you happy. So badly.”
“You can’t say things like that.” Dejun whispered, he tilted his head back to look at Hendery. “Makes me think you feel things for me.”
Hendery wasn’t sure he had a pulse. A little too late, he said, “I do feel things for you. Annoyance.”
Dejun was staring at him, with that soul-piercing gaze that Hendery was certain could cut through glass if he really tried. “You did make me happy.” Dejun said finally, the tip of his nose brushed against Hendery’s. He had to resist the urge to shiver. “That’s the problem.”
“Why would making you happy ever be a problem?” Hendery asked, he ran a hand down Dejun’s side, it was meant to be a comforting touch but a blush dusted across Dejun’s cheeks. After everything they said and did to one another, a hand on his side can still make him blush. “Makes me happy to see you happy. What could be so bad about that?”
“I think we’re happy for different reasons.” Dejun grabbed Hendery’s hand and moved it away from his side. Hendery felt his heart sink. “You have to know by now how I feel. About you.”
He really hoped Dejun wouldn’t pick up on how deeply Hendery felt about him but he wasn’t surprised. He could argue but it would be fruitless to try and convince Dejun he didn't mean any of the things he said, that he just said it because he had to. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled, then fell back against the sheets and covered his eyes with a palm. “I’m an idiot.”
“Don’t do that.” Dejun laid next to him, still holding his hand. “It’s not like you can force yourself to fall in love with me.”
Hendery’s hand dropped from his face. He ran that sentence back in his head, and then ran the rest of the conversation back. He frowned. “You lost me.” He turned his head to look at Dejun, who was staring back at him with wide eyes and a pale face.
He dropped Hendery’s hand. “You didn’t know? Yangyang… talked to you about it. He told me you weren’t interested.”
“Well, Why would he tell you that?”
“Because that’s what you told him!” Dejun jumped up, sitting up straight and staring down at Hendery with wild eyes. His robe slipped off of one of his shoulders and Hendery’s eyes fell to his exposed nipple immediately. “When… when I came to Korea. You told him you weren’t interested.”
From the recesses of his mind, a memory came crawling back up. Yangyang, with dyed brown hair falling into his eyes and an eager grin on his face, sitting on his bunk asking him what he thought about Dejun when they were still trainees. “Weird guy.” He remembered answering, which was a compliment coming from Hendery. “He’s cool. Why do you ask?”
“He was asking me about you.” Yangyang wiggled his eyebrows. “Think he wants you to take him to that new barbecue place down the street, if you know what I mean.”
Hendery had not. “Ugh, not interested.”
Yangyang’s smile dropped, and he tilted his head curiously. “Oh, really? I thought you two might have a good time.”
He remembered wrinkling his nose in disgust, thinking that the new barbecue place down the street shouldn’t be allowed to claim they sold meat when they were clearly cooking rubber and trying to pass it off as food. Why would Dejun want to go there anyways? “He might. I definitely wouldn’t.” He shrugged. “You take him. Trust me, you’ll understand why I’m saying no now.”
The conversation ended there, Yangyang didn’t ask anymore questions and Hendery didn’t think anything was out of the ordinary. Hendery winced rehashing that conversation in his mind with added context.
“You’ve been in love with me since we were trainees?” Hendery clarified. “And Yangyang knows?”
“Everybody knows.” Dejun squeaked.
Hendery stared down at the silky robe hanging off of Dejun’s shoulders, and he pursed his lips together. “Not everybody.” He looked up into Dejun’s eyes, and offered him a lopsided smile. “I would have gone anywhere but that barbecue restaurant with you.”
Dejun searched his face, his thick eyebrows pulling down in the middle as he tried to find the answer he was looking for on Hendery. With every last ounce of courage he had left, and the image of Dejun’s heartbroken face when Yangyang told him that Hendery turned him down, he sat up and brushed his nose against Dejun’s. Dejun’s eyes were huge, flicking back and forth so fast it was making Hendery dizzy.
He closed his eyes and pressed his mouth against Dejun’s. It was a soft kiss, chaste even. Barely a brush of lips but Hendery put as much tenderness, as much fondness into it as he could. It was a kiss that they should have had at 18 years old, standing in front of that shitty barbecue place.
When Hendery pulled back, Dejun’s eyes were glittering and his soft pink lips were parted alluringly. “Scratch that, I totally would have gone to that barbecue restaurant anyways if I knew what Yangyang was aski—”
Dejun grabbed Hendery by the back of his neck and yanked him back in, immediately sucking Hendery’s lower lip into his mouth. Hendery moaned aloud when Dejun’s tongue slipped into his mouth and did something sinister to the roof of his mouth. His cock made a valiant effort to twitch inside his pants.
Hendery pulled back so his lower half wouldn’t get any more ideas about what it wanted to do with his squirming roommate, for the time. Dejun was panting, wetly against Hendery’s mouth and he planted one more open mouthed kiss onto him before breaking out into a sweet grin.
“So…” Dejun hummed, leaning forward a bit with sparkling eyes. He looked up into Hendery’s eyes and lifted both of his eyebrows, waiting for a response.
He gave Dejun a thumbs up.
Dejun bursted into a fit of giggles, falling forward with his forehead against Hendery’s reddening chest. He laughed forcefully, running his hands through Dejun’s nape as he did. “Wait wait let me try that again,” Hendery giggled, he pushed Dejun off of his shoulder and started fixing his hair. Dejun was still smiling, his nose scrunched up as he watched Hendery mime spraying himself with cologne and checking his breath. “Xiao Dejun—”
Dejun leaned in and planted another kiss on Hendery’s mouth, effectively shutting him up. “Go eat your dinner, Casanova. We have practice in a few hours.”
Dejun fixed his robe, and hopped off of the bed. Padding over to the door with only the beginning of a limp, and letting Bella run inside. Hendery stared at him, speechless.
“You’re still going to practice?!”