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Ms. Chalice yawned and stretched as she sat up in her bed. She looked around her room, remembering how she’d gotten it. After a few days of sleeping on the couch, Elder Kettle and the boys had found a spare room that they could clean out and make into a proper bedroom for her. After they did that, they went shopping for furniture and anything else she may have needed. Before then, Ms. Chalice couldn’t remember the last time she’d actually paid for anything. (Well, Elder Kettle had paid for it, but still.) It was just another reminder that this was all real.
Well, that was enough reminiscing. Ms. Chalice got out of bed and got dressed before heading down for breakfast. Once there, she saw Cuphead and Mugman already at the table, grinning widely and practically vibrating in their seats.
“Geez, you two sure look happy,” Ms. Chalice commented as she took her own seat. “What’s the occasion?” Before either of her brothers could answer, Elder Kettle walked in holding two plates of chocolate chip pancakes topped with a generous helping of whipped cream.
“Happy birthday, boys,” he said as he set the plates down in front of the two brothers. The birthday boys wasted no time before digging in with gusto while Elder Kettle returned to the kitchen to get his and Chalice’s breakfasts.
“Today’s your birthday?” Ms. Chalice questioned her brothers. The boys nodded with their mouths still stuffed with their dessert-like breakfast.
“And not just any birthday,” Cuphead informed after swallowing. “As of midnight last night, Mugsy and I are now officially teenagers!” Cuphead draped his arm over Mugman’s shoulders as the blue-nosed mug nodded, his mouth still full.
“Say, kids,” Elder Kettle said as he set his and Ms. Chalice’s breakfasts on the table, “why don’t you three head into town after breakfast? Have a bit of fun, do a bit of sightseeing, you know?”
“Sure, Elder Kettle,” Mugman agreed as Cuphead gave a thumbs up, his attention mostly on his breakfast. Once he was sure the boys weren’t looking, Elder Kettle leaned toward Ms. Chalice.
“Ms. Chalice,” he whispered, “I need you to keep the boys busy while I set up everything for their birthday celebration. Can you do that?”
“No problem,” Ms. Chalice whispered back. “Those two ding-dongs are pretty easy to distract anyway.”
“So, fellas, you two have anything in mind?” Ms. Chalice asked as the three siblings walked through the city streets. “It is your day, after all.” Cuphead and Mugman hummed in thought.
“Oh! How about we head to the penny arcade?” Cuphead suggested.
“Okay!” Mugman agreed.
“Alright then! The penny arcade it is!” Ms. Chalice declared. And so the two birthday boys and their sister had a grand old time at the penny arcade.
“Alright, I’m starting to get a little tired,” Mugman declared an hour later, stretching his back. “What do you guys say we head home?”
“But we just got here,” Cuphead protested. Mugman subtly nudged his brother in the ribs and Cuphead got the message.”Uh, I mean, yeah. Let’s shake a leg.” Ms. Chalice started to panic. There was no way their party was ready yet! She had to figure out another way to distract them.
“Wait, fellas!” she called as she caught up to them. “The day’s still young! How about we head somewhere else?”
“Like where?” Cuphead questioned.
“Uh, how about the pictures?” Ms. Chalice suggested nervously. Cuphead and Mugman glanced at each other, seemingly mulling it over. Ms. Chalice started to sweat nervously.
“Sure!” the boys finally agreed. Ms. Chalice silently sighed in relief.
After the movie was over, the three siblings walked out of the theater, still gushing about the movie.
“Man, that was great!” Cuphead expressed. “But I think it might be time to make tracks for home, don’t you?”
“You said it, brother!” Mugman agreed. Ms. Chalice wasn’t so sure. If they went home now, they might be cutting it a bit too close. She just needed to distract them a little longer.
“Uh, but before we do that, how about we grab some grub?” she suggested frantically. Cuphead and Mugman glanced at each other.
“But there’s food at home,” Mugman pointed out.
“But we eat that stuff every day!” Ms. Chalice argued. “This is your special day, so you two deserve a special meal.” Cuphead and Mugman glanced at each other again before Cuphead shrugged.
“Can’t argue with that,” he reasoned. Mugman agreed, much to Chalice’s relief, and the three made their way to the diner.
After the three siblings had their orders taken, they sat in the booth and chatted.
“So, how are you two enjoying your birthday so far?” Ms. Chalice asked her brothers.
“It’s been really fun!” Mugman stated enthusiastically. “But why were you so determined to not let us go home?”
“Uh…” Ms. Chalice sweatdropped.
“Is it because Elder Kettle asked you to keep us occupied while he set up our party?” Cuphead smirked. Ms. Chalice’s jaw dropped.
“Y-You guys knew?” she asked incredulously.
“Oh yeah,” Mugman responded casually. “He does it every year. He tells us to go into town for a few hours to ‘have a bit of fun’ and ‘do a bit of sightseeing’, he sets up a birthday celebration for us while we’re gone, then we come back and act all surprised.”
“Sorry for messing with you, by the way,” Cuphead said. “We figured Elder Kettle told you to keep us out of the house until the party was ready, so we couldn’t resist. Hope there are no hard feelings.”
“Nah,” Ms. Chalice shrugged, having recovered from the shock. “Honestly, I probably would’ve done the same thing.”
“Well, maybe you can on your birthday,” Mugman stated with a chuckle.
“When is that, by the way?” Cuphead asked. Ms. Chalice suddenly got very quiet.
“Uh, Chalice?” a concerned Mugman asked.
“I…don’t know,” Ms. Chalice admitted. “I don’t know when my birthday is.”
“Wait, really?” Cuphead asked. Ms. Chalice nodded solemnly.
“Remember, fun wasn’t allowed at the orphanage, so no one ever got to celebrate their birthday. The ladies only bothered to keep track of how old the kids are for adoption purposes. And after I left, I kind of stopped keeping track at all…” she explained. Cuphead and Mugman glanced at each other before turning back to their sister.
“Uh, Chalice, Cuphead and I have to go to the bathroom for a moment. Will you please excuse us?” Mugman asked.
“Oh, sure. Go ahead fellas,” Ms. Chalice said. And so Cuphead and Mugman headed to the men’s room.
After the trio ate (and, at Mugman’s insistence, paid for) their meal, Ms. Chalice finally deemed it time to head home. Once they opened the door, lo and behold, there was Elder Kettle, standing in the living room amid balloons, presents, and, of course, a birthday cake.
“Surprise!” he shouted in glee. Ms. Chalice had to admit, Cuphead and Mugman were pretty good at acting like they hadn’t seen this coming. Though, she did suppose they had years of practice at this point.
As the three siblings headed further into the cottage, Elder Kettle whispered to Ms. Chalice, “Good job keeping them occupied while I got everything ready.”
“Eh, it was nothing,” Ms. Chalice whispered back. Meanwhile, Cuphead and Mugman made a beeline for the cake, which no one was surprised by. What was surprising, however, was them lifting it off the table and taking it to the kitchen. Ms. Chalice and Elder Kettle glanced at each other in confusion, but didn’t have time to question it as Cuphead and Mugman came back out merely a moment later.
“Hey, Elder Kettle, think we can start with the cake this year?” Cuphead asked.
“Well, I don’t see why not,” Elder Kettle shrugged. He walked over with the candles and a lighter, Ms. Chalice following behind, when he suddenly paused. Ms. Chalice, confused, walked around him to see what had made him stop in his tracks like that. Elder Kettle was staring at the cake, so Chalice looked at it as well. And there, below the more professionally-done “Happy Birthday Cuphead & Mugman”, was a messily-written “+ Ms. Chalice” written in icing.
“When you told us that you don’t know when your birthday is, Cuphead and I decided that we wouldn’t mind sharing our birthday with you,” Mugman explained.
“If that’s okay with you,” Cuphead added. “If you’d rather pick a different day to celebrate your birthday, that’s fine.” Ms. Chalice felt herself tearing up. She was reminded once again just how lucky she was to have these two ding-dongs in her (after?)life.
“It’s alright,” she assured. “Are you fellas really sure you don’t mind sharing your birthday with me?”
“We’re sure,” the two boys chorused.
“I mean, we’ve been sharing it with each other for thirteen years, haven’t we?” Cuphead quipped.
“This was awfully sweet of you boys,” Elder Kettle told his grandsons, sounding like he was on the verge of tears himself. “Now how about you three make a wish and blow out your candles?” Ms. Chalice didn’t know about her brothers, but she didn’t wish for anything. She already had everything she could’ve ever wanted.
BONUS:
Elder Kettle sighed happily as he settled into bed. It had been an eventful and successful party, and he had resolved to get up early the next morning to get Ms. Chalice some (belated) birthday gifts, given how short-notice it was that the boys had decided that their birthday was to be her birthday, too. Such sweet boys. He was proud to have had the privilege of raising them.
Just as he was about to drift off to slumber, his eyes snapped open as he was hit by a terrifying realization.
“I have three teenagers living in my house…”