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Soap is sitting up in his bed, the sheets shoved off of his body and sweat beading on his forehead and running down his temple. He's hunched over in on himself, the palms of his hands digging into his eyes as he evens out his own breathing and forces the images out of his mind. It's dark in his room and far too quiet. He's been in the military long enough and he's seen more violence than any single human being should, he's been beaten and taken against his will, he's dug his own blade into the flesh of another human being and he's watched men bleed out at his feet. It makes sense that these things come back to haunt him while he sleeps.
Over the years, he's gotten used to the nightmares, it comes with the territory. Soap isn't the first soldier to endure hell in the middle of the night, and he certainly wouldn't be the last.
He's also allowed himself to get used to having someone talk him down from an impending panic attack. On base he got into the habit of sneaking into the Lieutenant's room and crawling into his bed and into his arms, Ghost doesn't even have to be awake to fight off the nightmares; his arms automatically wind around Soap's body and hugs him close to his chest, and then he's completely surrounded by him, all of his nerve endings tingling with feeling of safety and comfort, and Simon. Nothing dares to haunt him while he's utterly encompassed by the larger man.
They don't come for him every night, that would be too easy, instead the images creep up on him slowly and pounce when Soap's let his guard down; when he's relaxed and falling easily.
In the silence of the bedroom, Soap can hear himself pull in a shaky breath and then release it a moment later. It takes too long for his conscious mind to realize he's in the safety of his house and not in the field with bullets whizzing past his head and explosions booming around him. It rattles his brain and he doesn't dare try and fall asleep again.
Soap reaches for the phone on his bedside table and taps the screen until the time beams in front of him, it's barely three in the morning and he desperately wants to fall back into the comfort of his bed but he isn't sure it'd be worth it, he would only end up lying there staring up at the ceiling. Soap taps through his phone mindlessly for a while before going to his messages. In a moment that can only be described as pure weakness, his finger finds Ghost's thread and he reads through a few of their previous messages while he debates on the decision he's already landed on.
Fingers tap slowly against the screen, taking his time as if he were trying to talk himself out of it, what are the chances you're up? He reads it twice and then sends the message over, figuring the worst that could happen is Ghost is sleeping and he wouldn't respond for a few hours. By then, Soap could come up with an excuse as to why he'd been up.
He sets the phone down, face up, on the bed in front of him and watches it until the screen goes black.
Soap doesn't have to wait long, to his surprise his phone rings and the contact name pops up on his phone, Simon Riley. His throat closes up slightly and he debates with himself on whether or not he wants to answer. He does, of course, puts the phone up to his ear but doesn't say anything, suddenly worried about how shaky his voice might sound.
"Johnny?" The voice on the other end of the line is a bit rougher than usual, "you alright?"
He swallows the lump in his throat, "aye, i'm fine," and it's a blatant lie but Soap was able to keep his voice steady for the three words.
There's a pause and then muffled noises on the other end of the line, "were you just looking to chat then? At three in the morning?"
It's slightly annoying, how even over the phone Ghost can read him like a open book. He doesn't know exactly what he's looking for from Ghost but hearing his voice over the phone already has his heartrate slowing.
"Why are you up, Lt?"
"Why are you up, Soap?
He sighs heavily and runs a hand over his eyes, knowing there's no way out of it now.
"Nightmares," his voice falls to a whisper, "you know how it goes."
There's no response on the other end, only the sound of Ghost moving about in his own bed. In the moment of silence, Soap worries that maybe he'd made a mistake. Maybe it's different when they're on base and he slips into Ghost's bed next to him. He wants to pull the phone away from his ear and hang up, pretend as if none of this happened. He could try to fall back asleep, or he could force himself to get up and start his day. There's always some excuse to be had - it was late and Soap wasn't thinking when he'd called.
Soap's mind continues to race until there's a voice in his ear again, softer now, almost hesitant.
"Do you want to come over?"
"I, uh -" Soap trips on his own words, not thinking before he tries to speak. "Okay, if you don't mind."
"Course not. I'll unlock the door for ya."
Soap's heartrate picks up again, he thinks he can hear it slamming against his ribs.
"Okay," is all he says, any other thought gets stuck in his throat.
"Right. See you soon then, Johnny."
It's not a far trip from his own house to Ghost's, most of the One Four One live fairly close to one another - makes things easier. The roads are much clearer at all hours of the morning, and it steadies Soap a bit more to be on the road instead of cooped up in his dark bedroom. It's not the first time he's been to Ghost's place, but it would be the first time he's stayed there over night, the thought of that and the images that had woken him from his sleep make him shaky. He's nervous for no reason.
He pulls into the drive and parks the vehicle but doesn't move. The porch light is on, illuminating the path to the doorway. Knowing that Ghost is inside waiting for him sends a shiver down his spine and suddenly he doesn't feel tired anymore, he's more eager to fit himself into Ghost's chest than to fall back to sleep.
Another moment passes and Soap decides it's time to go inside before Ghost calls or comes searching for him. Just as he'd promised, the door is unlocked and Soap lets himself inside. There's another light on in the hallway, leading the Sergeant exactly where the other man is waiting for him. Halfway down the hall he can see into Ghost's room, he's still lying in bed and Soap would almost bet he'd fallen back to sleep after hanging up the phone. He flips the light off as he passes the switch and as his eyes focus in the dark, Soap makes his way to the bed and he crawls into it. His chest is tight with nerves that shouldn't be there.
He settles in and notices that Ghost is watching him, it stops him for a brief second and then arms open wide for Soap and whatever anxieties that had been swirling around inside of him suddenly fade away. He goes easily, snuggling into Ghost's chest and breathing in the smell of him. Strong arms wind around his waist and pulls him closer, his chin resting on Soap's head.
Ghost's thumb rubs soothing circles into the small of his back, he's warm and Soap instantly feels more comfortable than he has all damn night.
"You wanna talk about it?" Ghost asks him after they've both settled, his voice just as warm.
Soap shakes his head, he'd rather forget about the dreams. They're all the same anyways. Ghost doesn't ask again, instead he moves just enough to nudge Soap's head up, so they're looking at one another. Ghost searches his face, making sure that he's as alright as he says he is, and he must decide that he is; just a moment later, soft lips press against his forehead, and then again on the tip of his nose, the corner of his eye. Ghost kisses whatever inch of Soap's face he can before pressing their foreheads together.
"Sure you're alright?"
This time, it doesn't take him any time at all to answer, he's perfectly content in Ghost's arms, safe from anything that dare to come for him while he sleeps. "Better now, Simon" he whispers. Their noses touch briefly before Ghost leans in and catches his lips, soft and slow, and when they part Ghost doesn't go far. They breathe the same air, simply taking in one another.
Soap, as his body relaxes and sleep begins to pull at him again, presses his face into Ghost's chest and lets himself fall. It doesn't take long, the both of them tangled up in one another, fighting off each other's demons.