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“Go! You’re almost there, get her!” Eddie yelled and shoved Steve up the stairs toward the bedroom where Alice Creel used to sleep.
Well, in the Upside Down version, anyway.
“But –“ Steve said and turned, shotgun aimed and ready to fire at any more demo-lions, demo-statues, whatever demo-nightmare came up those stairs after them.
Eddie turned around and grinned at him and Steve recognized that grin. He had seen it when they stepped back through the Upside Down just days earlier.
“Go on, get Max. Don’t you remember? I’m Eddie the Immortal now,” he said and pulled the flamethrower off his shoulder and aimed it at the dilapidated stairs they had just come up.
Nicknames were a thing for people with close friends and family, people that loved and cared about each other so much that they had to weigh their real names down with even more love and affection. Dustin was the first one to dub Eddie immortal and he had latched onto it immediately.
Steve vaguely recalled a nanny he had when he was young, and she had called him Stevie and sweetness and other fond things that still made him warm in the center of his heart.
Yesenia, that had been her name. She had made him homemade soups when it was cold and helped him with his homework. Steve remembered the day he came home when he was ten and she was gone. He never had asked his parents why.
The why didn’t really matter, did it?
Even at ten years old, he knew the answer; it was because his parents were the fucking worst.
The bedroom was at the end of the hallway and Steve threw the door open just as he heard Eddie whoop with delight.
“Come on, you ugly bastards! You couldn’t get me the first time, want a second bite?” Eddie yelled.
The house, what was left of it, shook as Steve took a step inside.
Eddie called Max Red. From her hair, that much was clear, but Steve wanted a different name for her. When Steve rescued her (and he would, there was never any doubt about that, that’s why Hopper and Joyce had sent him on this mission) he would think of a name he would give her, a name that was just for Max that only Steve would be able to call her.
The bed was surrounded with a thick gray curtain, the kind that medieval castles used to have, or that’s what Steve knew about them from the shows on TV. He jerked it open and there she was, in the middle of the bed, eyes closed, face pale, hands folded neatly across her belly. She showed no signs of distress or that anything was even going on.
“All right, Sleeping Beauty. Time to get you to Prince Charming,” Steve huffed.
Not that. Max would kill him for calling her that.
He picked her up and turned to the door, and the house shook again. He was sweaty, but not tired. Eddie told him that was because time was frozen down here, that it didn’t move from the moment you stepped foot here until you left. Then why was he sweating? He shouldn’t be affected by anything here.
Steve decided to ask Dustin later.
“Eddie! I’ve got her!” Steve yelled from his side of the hall.
Eddie whooped again and even though he was still covered in his own blood and other stuff, when he turned to Steve, he was triumphant.
“Now we just have to wait for the Superhero –“ Eddie said when Steve joined him.
But he was cut off when the largest tremor of them all nearly threw them down the stairs.
Whatever El was doing, it was going to fuck this place up.
“We should be on the ground,” Eddie decided and they hurried past the charred remains of a very large snake and a group of bats and what might or might not have been a bear.
“Lions, and tigers, and bears,” Steve muttered.
Eddie cackled. “Oh, my!”
They made it down the stairs before another tremor hit and they had the door open when a blinding light cut across the red sky and knocked Steve and Eddie flat.
There was no air in Steve’s body, and Max was limp on the ground next to him, Eddie on the other side of her.
A wave of soundless light and fury rolled over them and Steve wanted to scream, wanted to beg for it to stop, for it to give him just a moment to breathe, to remember that he wasn’t all this dirt and mud and debris, that once –
Once he had been human.
Once, a kind woman called him sweetness.
***
“We’ve got rules around here, you know? My number one rule is that you don’t get to die, you don’t even get to think about that shit, when we finally won. We finally put him in the ground,” Eddie said.
It felt like someone had taken steel wool to his insides.
“You got Red out, and she’s alive. I mean, sure, our badass little Superhero can’t save her from the inevitable nightmares, but that’s life, you know? That counts for something. And you got me. Right? You were the only one who was brave enough or stupid enough to say my name when I was out there,” Eddie went on.
Steve didn’t understand a lot of stuff, and he was going to add Anything That Comes Out Of Eddie Munson’s Mouth to that list. It went right after trig and chemistry, Steve decided.
“Names are weird, huh? Did you know that there was a myth that if you said a werewolf’s Christian name, you could save them from the curse of being a werewolf? Seems a little too simple for me, but what do I know?”
Probably more than me, Steve thought. He groaned out loud and he felt something shift next to him.
“Steve?” Eddie whispered.
Steve wanted to say something, he desperately wanted to speak to Eddie, he wanted it more than anything else, wanted Eddie to keep talking to him, but there was something inside him and he couldn’t talk around it –
Oh, god. No.
Vecna had won and now this was his punishment? Having someone so close, someone as good as Eddie this close, and he couldn’t reply to him?
No, no, no –
“Hey, I’m right here, okay? Stop. The doctors said you might freak out, but hold on just a second, Stevie. Just a second, they’re on their way, hey look at me. Yeah, there you go. See? I’m right here with you. I’ll stay here with you, okay?” Eddie said. The smile and the look he gave Steve was enough to remind him of where he belonged, that he was home, that he belonged.
His last memory had been one of pain and ambiguity, like he was being scattered across the universe with no sense of his own self, and he couldn’t feel like that again.
The light was dim and Steve saw that Eddie had his hand and was gently holding Steve’s other arm down.
“You’ve got a thing in your throat to help you breathe, okay? It looks fucking awful, but they’re coming to help you, okay? Okay? I won’t leave, big guy. I promise. Do you want me to stay? Yeah? Okay, I’m right here. Just take a deep breath. I’m right here.”
***
It wasn’t even Vecna that put Steve in the hospital, he learned later.
It was El.
When she had taken Vecna out, that wave of pure El had swept over the entire Upside Down, swept it clean, repaired what had been broken (namely, Eddie and Max) and Steve shouldn’t have been there. He had deviated from the plan they had in place and that put him in the wrong place at the wrong time.
When El’s powers swept over Eddie and Max, she had fixed them up, right as rain. But whatever it was, was too much for Steve’s body and had put him in a momentary coma.
“It wasn’t momentary, dingus,” Robin huffed as she began to restock the cups behind the counter.
“It felt like it,” Steve said with a grin.
“You were out for four and a half weeks,” Max snapped as she began steaming milk for a hot chocolate. She was whole, entirely her own grumpy, snappish self.
“And look what I got out of it. It’s like I was never beaten to a pulp by Jonathan, Billy, or those Russians. Neurologists said they saw no signs of head injuries! Ophthalmologist said my eyesight is better than perfect! If I had to go through a momentary coma for that –” Steve dodged a cup that Robin hurled his way.
“- then I think it was worth it. Don’t you?” Steve asked them.
“All right, Mr. Better Than Perfect, but you are only allowed one coma per the lifetime of our friendship. You go into any more, you owe me,” Eddie said and put a pick in his mouth as he tuned his acoustic guitar.
They were sitting in Meeting Grounds, the coffee shop that Robin, Eddie, and Steve all owned. It had been built over the ashes of Family Video, a truly fitting tribute in Eddie’s eyes. It wasn’t quite complete; they still needed tables and some other equipment, but they were gathered there for the evening because Robin wanted to take inventory of the things they did have.
“Only on one condition,” Steve said.
“What?” Eddie asked, interested.
“You only get one death. No more,” Steve said.
Eddie tipped his head to the side, his hair sliding against the neck of his guitar and over his own throat.
“You can’t keep me alive forever, honey. El said I’m not immortal anymore,” Eddie reminded him gently.
Good thing Meeting Grounds wasn’t opened yet, because something must have shown on Steve’s face of how truly new that was. Eddie gave him a small smile and turned back to his guitar, strummed it, and Steve kept his eyes on Eddie’s fingers.
Honey.
Eddie hadn’t used that one on Steve before and he rolled it around his head, decided that he liked the shape of it when it took up residency in his memory. He liked the curl of Eddie’s mouth when he realized that Steve wasn’t going to snap at him about it. It felt like honey, thick and golden rich, poured over warm tea on a cold day.
Eddie reached over, interrupted Steve’s thoughts. “I’m not going anywhere yet. Who the hell is going to help manage this place? You? Robin? Come on.”
He wasn’t going anywhere, Steve told himself.
Eddie wasn’t going anywhere. He promised.
***
“Robs, my dear, sweet, darling Robs, please tell me you picked something decent for once,” Eddie sighed. He sat down on the couch next to Steve and Steve swung his legs up and over Eddie’s lap.
Eddie began drumming out a fast beat on Steve’s shin.
“Day of the Dead,” Robin announced and crouched in front of Steve’s VCR and slid the tape in.
“Where’s the Boss?” Eddie asked.
“Nancy said to go ahead and start it. She is teaching El how to drive since the last time Hopper tried to teach her, El cried and threatened to throw Hop’s Bronco in Lover’s Lake,” Steve said.
“With or without powers?” Eddie asked, intrigued.
“It was heavily implied without,” Robin said.
Eddie laughed. “God, I love her.”
“Sure, because she hasn’t threatened to throw your van in the lake,” Robs said and the both laughed and Steve let himself sink into the feeling of home, their laughter a warm blanket over his shoulders.
Robin pressed play on the VCR and Eddie gripped Steve’s ankle, excited.
It had been two months since Steve left the hospital, and the doctors all said he was right as rain. Dr. Owens still called him into his office on a weekly basis, still reminded Steve to take it easy, and every time he left, Dr. Owens clapped him on his shoulder, handed him a lollipop and said, “See you next time, son.”
Joyce had called him that when she visited him the first time in the hospital. She had sat down and took his hand and those big brown eyes of hers pinned him to the bed.
“I didn’t like you, you know. When you broke Jonathan’s camera. When you bullied him. I just – I just wanted to smack you in the face,” Joyce said.
“Jonathan did that,” Steve said, his voice hoarse.
Joyce nodded and laughed a little bit. She wiped the tears from her face. “He did, didn’t he?”
Steve nodded.
“And you came over. You came over to apologize. You saw what you did was wrong and you tried to make it right. You’ve been trying for awhile and don’t think we don’t notice. You didn’t have to go after Max. You didn’t have to help Eddie find her in that fucking house. You didn’t, you know that, right?” Joyce asked softly.
Steve sighed. He did know that. But just because he didn’t have to didn’t mean that he shouldn’t. There was a huge difference there.
“Maybe in here,” Joyce said and tapped his chest, “you knew you had to. But no one would have thought otherwise if you didn’t.”
Steve nodded.
“You got her and Eddie out. You barely got out. Now it’s time to think of what you’re going to do now. Me and Hop, Dr. Owens, we’re here to help you. So think about what you want, okay?” She leaned over and kissed his forehead gently. “We’re right here, son. Whenever you need us.”
Oddly, Hopper never called Steve “son”. Steve wondered about that, wondered if there was something in his own past that he didn’t share, that maybe he wanted a son one day but it just wasn’t in the cards. Instead, he got Sarah and then he got El. Which, in Steve’s humble opinion, was more than enough.
And from the way Hopper stared at El with so much love and pride in his eyes, Steve knew that Hopper knew it too.
No, Hopper called Steve something else.
Champ.
Steve hated it.
Steve also, strangely enough, loved it.
One late afternoon, Steve had driven over to the Byers-Hopper house and Hopper had been out in the driveway, dribbling a ball. Neither Jonathan or Will were too interested in sports, but Steve couldn’t resist. He was supposed to drive Will to the newly built house that Eddie lived in, but he was early.
“You want to go a few rounds, old man?” Steve yelled when he got out of the car.
Hopper turned around and laughed. “Hell yeah. I’ll take you to school, teach you a few things.”
Steve grinned. Hopper didn’t stand a chance.
Forty-five minutes later, Max, El, Joyce, Dustin, Will, Eddie, Nancy, and Jonathan were all on the grass, watching Steve dribble the ball as Hopper guarded him.
Off to one side, Argyle and Robin each held a whiteboard up.
22-19, the away team favored.
(Steve was the away team.)
“You scared?” Hopper asked, panting, and he grinned.
“Of you?” Steve snorted and took a few steps back. “Not a chance.”
Steve shot the ball, and it arced through the sky perfectly, swished into the net and the “crowd” went wild.
“The champ reigns supreme!” Hopper yelled as everyone gathered around them and Steve laughed.
Now that was all Hopper called him. It was silly, Steve knew that, but he wished he could have had that when he was in school. The champion. The championship.
But that was all in the past.
***
Steve inhaled sharply and opened his eyes.
The living room was dark, the TV was off, and there was only Eddie left in the living room. Steve didn’t even remember falling asleep.
“Hey,” Steve said and stretched. “Sorry I fell asleep.”
Eddie looked over at him and shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, sweet thing. Owens did say you would be tired for awhile.”
Sweet thing. That was new. It felt new, too.
It felt like Eddie owned a part of him that no one else could touch. Like Eddie had cracked him wide open, took a look around, and said, Ah yes. This jock. I like this one, and I’ll be taking him home with me, thank you very much, if you would be so kind as to wrap him up with a little bow?
Steve was being stupid. His thoughts were getting away from him.
“Yeah, I guess. I wish I could just get through a movie without passing out like an old man,” Steve muttered. He swung his legs off Eddie and sat up. “You staying?”
“Will you make me eggs in the morning?” Eddie asked, hopeful.
“Sure.”
“I’m staying.”
Eddie promised. He said he would stay.
Now Steve knew what it meant when a promise was made and a promise was kept.
***
There was something wrong with Eddie.
If you asked Eddie, there was a lot wrong with Eddie.
But since he woke up in the Upside Down? All alone, scared, in pain, with nothing but Vecna’s fucking voice in his head?
There was something else wrong with him.
He wasn’t a monster and he certainly didn’t Vant to drink your blood, but there was something wrong with him and he was pretty sure it started down there.
Pretty sure, but not totally.
Because what kind of suicidal psychopath called Steve Harrington “big boy” to his face?
Eddie Munson.
Frankly, he was surprised that Steve didn’t throw him to the wolves right then and there. But he didn’t. He drove them away and Eddie got the singular pleasure of listening to Steve tell Nancy The Boss Wheeler about how he wanted to travel around the country, the two of them, with their six little bouncing babies in the back.
That was sarcasm. Listening to Steve and that whole thing felt like sticking his hand in a garbage disposal.
Eddie paced the length of his living room and smoked.
Just cigarettes. Last time he had tried weed, it had been a bad trip and he’s already got enough shit in his brain without adding anything else on top of it.
This is why he thought there was something wrong with him. He had listened to Steve say all that to Nancy and still, and still, whenever Steve called Eddie already knew he would agree to whatever Steve wanted to do.
Tonight?
Well, Steve had the grand idea of taking a boat out on Lover’s Lake.
And Eddie agreed to it.
Now Steve was on his way and Eddie was pretty sure he had smoked an entire pack of cigarettes since they got off the phone twenty minutes ago.
Okay, not the whole pack, but at least half of them were gone.
This was a stupid idea. Almost as stupid as following Steve into Lover’s Lake and seeing Steve doing his best impression as a buffet table for those fucking bats.
The door opened, (Steve had a key, Eddie was a weak man, he never claimed otherwise) and Steve walked in. He took one look at Eddie, the cloud that had formed in the kitchen as Eddie had paced and smoked, and turned around and walked right back out.
Which –
You know what?
That was fair. That was a fair and perhaps even correct response to Eddie on the verge of a panic attack, smoking as many cigarettes as he could get his hands on. No one should have to deal with this. This was insanity. Eddie had been through too much to deal with and frankly, it was too big a job for even professionals and really, Steve had his own shit to deal with.
The door opened again and Steve marched back in, a determined look on his face. It reminded Eddie of that day he played basketball against Hop, the sweat turning Steve’s hair floppier, and he had been able to push it off his face and his smile that day had been so goddamn sweet.
Eddie realized with a start that was the first time he had seen Steve able to just play.
Steve also had a blanket over his arm and a picnic basket in his hand, Eddie realized.
“That was my fault. I should have thought of you. I’m sorry,” Steve said and took the cigarette from Eddie and tossed it in the stainless steel sink. “I think you’ve had enough of those.”
Eddie laughed and ran his hands through his hair. The skin over his scars tugged. “I’m fine. Come on, let’s go.”
“Nope,” Steve said. He shoved his big mitts under Eddie’s leather jacket and took it and his battle vest off. He hung it up in Eddie’s small coat closet and turned off the porch light. “We are staying in tonight. We aren’t going a step closer to Lover’s Lake.”
Eddie deflated with relief. “Really?”
“Really,” Steve said.
“Thanks, sweetheart,” Eddie said and watched Steve’s reaction.
He used a lot of nicknames for a lot of people, but he liked to gauge Steve’s reaction the most. He liked to watch Steve measure and weigh each nickname Eddie used before deciding which ones was acceptable and which ones were not.
So far, Eddie had gotten away with all of them.
Steve paused, tilted his head to the side and thought about sweetheart.
It was a fascinating process to watch, as Steve pursed his lips, his eyes narrowed on something far away, and finally (every single time) he nodded, accepted it, filed it away in whatever mental filing cabinet Steve kept that was labeled Weird Shit Eddie Munson Does That I Have Simply Come To Accept, and he moved on.
“You can tell me these things, Eddie. That you don’t feel comfortable about it. I forgot that you – I mean, you saw Patrick die out there, too. And if you aren’t okay with it, tell me. I promise, I’ll try for you,” Steve said, his voice low.
Try what? It was on the edge of Eddie’s tongue, but he didn’t give voice to it.
But Steve was here and he promised to try, for Eddie’s sake.
“Okay,” Eddie nodded and took a deep breath. “Yeah. I will. I promise.”
Steve nodded, satisfied with his answer and looked over at the TV. He raised his eyebrows.
“Nah, let’s put music on,” Eddie said.
Steve nodded and spread the blanket he had over his arm out on the floor. Eddie wondered if Steve even knew what he was doing or if this was just the kind of guy he was.
Then Eddie had another strange thought that rocked him back on his heels.
Did Steve even know how to be friends with people?
Eddie had his suspicions about Tommy and Steve, but he wasn’t going to ask because he valued Steve’s… company? Friendship? Companionship? Whatever it was, Eddie didn’t want to lose it.
And other than Tommy, Steve didn’t have any close friends, people he hung out with after school when they weren’t at parties. Not until he met Robin, but between losing Tommy as a friend and then gaining Robin as a soulmate, Steve was kind of in a weird limbo. Eddie wasn’t sure if Dustin counted as friend because Steve always said that Dustin was like his annoying kid brother (even though Eddie knew for a fact that Steve thought of him as a son) so for awhile there, Steve had been completely on his own.
Even with Robin, their friendship/soulmate-ship had started out as something romantic. On Steve’s end, anyway.
Eddie decided that he wouldn’t think about it ever again because that way madness lies.
“Come on, I’m already losing you,” Steve said and he looked up at Eddie.
“Never,” Eddie said and sat down with Steve.
Steve pulled out two huge sub sandwiches and diced up fruit and some kind of pale pink spread that Eddie looked at closely but couldn’t identify immediately. He frowned at it.
“Don’t knock it till you try it,” Steve said.
“What’s it for?” Eddie asked.
“You dip the fruit in it. It’s good,” Steve said.
Eddie shrugged and took the sandwich from Steve.
“I forgot the drinks,” Steve frowned at his picnic basket.
“Too bad we are way out here on Lover’s Lake and can’t get to anything,” Eddie said and took a bite of his sandwich. Seriously, this thing was almost too big.
Steve rolled his eyes and stood up, went to the kitchen, and grabbed a couple of sodas and brought them back.
“Aw thanks, babe, you’re the best,” Eddie said.
That –
That one slipped out.
Eddie hadn’t meant to use that one on Steve, because he always carefully curated his nicknames before he used them, thought on them very carefully before he tried them out, running through the best and worst case scenarios in his head.
Eddie looked up at Steve and opened his mouth to apologize about the nickname but Steve was taking the lid off the glass Tupperware that contained the fruit spread and setting it down between them.
He hadn’t even noticed.
“So you haven’t asked me,” Steve said.
Eddie’s mouth was full, so all he could do was raise an eyebrow and cock his head.
“Why I wanted to go out there,” Steve said.
Eddie nodded. He chewed and gestured for Steve to go on.
“It’s been three years since I found out about all this. Hawkins, monsters, El,” Steve said.
Eddie glanced at the calendar on the wall behind him. Nancy had gotten it for him, told him it might help keep track of his shit, in the event that he wants to get it together.
November 12, 1986.
Eddie wished he hadn’t chosen to take a bite right before this, but then he wondered if that had been Steve’s idea all along. Maybe he didn’t want to be consoled or comforted. Maybe he just wanted someone to listen.
Steve reached into the basket and pulled out two forks. He put one in the bowl, but kept one for himself.
“I don’t know. It’s kinda dumb to want to commemorate, right?”
Eddie shook his head but Steve wasn’t looking at him.
“I mean, it’s like, this is the date when my life took a turn. I don’t know where I’d be if it weren’t for everything that happened. Maybe I’d be in college? Maybe I’d be married? Maybe…” Steve sighed and speared a strawberry on his fork. “Maybe it doesn’t matter.”
Eddie swallowed but didn’t take another bite. Instead he opened Steve’s soda and then his own. He nudged Steve’s knee with it and Steve looked down. He took it from Eddie.
“Thanks,” Steve said.
“I mean no offense by this, but why did you come to me? And why didn’t you tell me what we were commemorating before?” Eddie asked. He tried to keep his tone neutral, but it was hard to do when Steve was around.
“Because you –“ Steve sighed and sipped his soda. “I guess because you are the one least likely to… I don’t know. Judge isn’t the right word. Robin wouldn’t judge me. But –“ He shook his head and took another sip.
Eddie realized he was nervous.
“I mean, people accused you of murder, they hunted you, tried to kill you, and then you did die and then you weren’t dead but I guess you weren’t really alive either? I guess, probably because you understood more than the others that it wasn’t all an adventure. I mean, the others knew that too, but –“
Steve shrugged.
“I guess I’m more comfortable with you than say, Max. Or Nancy. Or even Robin, but please don’t tell her that,” Steve said.
Eddie chuckled. “I won’t.”
“You probably will.”
“I probably will,” Eddie agreed, but it wasn’t malicious and Robin would never hold it against either one of them.
“I didn’t tell you why we were going out there because I didn’t want it to be a big deal. I didn’t want you to overthink it and worry yourself out of sleep and then talk to Joyce who would talk to Jonathan who would talk to Nancy who would talk to Max who would talk to Eleven and Hopper and Dustin. I can’t have them all in my head tonight. I just have room for you,” Steve said.
Eddie wished he could explain what that did to him. He wished he had the vocabulary to express what that meant to him.
“That was probably a good idea because that’s exactly what would have happened,” Eddie said.
“I know,” Steve said and met his gaze for the first time. He gave him a half smile. “Am I forgiven?”
That threw Eddie for a loop. “For what?”
“For almost making you go out there and not –“
“There’s nothing to forgive, babe,” Eddie said.
Goddamn it, stop talking! Eddie screamed in his own head.
Steve nodded and his hair flopped forward. “I’m sorry. Either way.”
Ha! I got away with another one, take that, he didn’t notice!
Eddie wasn’t sure he could swallow but he stabbed a strawberry and dunked it in the weird pink paste Steve had made.
It was fucking delicious.
“Oh my god,” Eddie said and dunked two more strawberries and shoved them in his mouth.
Steve laughed at him. “Good, right?”
“Oh my god,” Eddie repeated.
For the rest of the night, Eddie kept that soft smile on Steve’s face, kept talking him out of his own head when it threatened to pull him under and Steve passed out on Eddie’s giant couch, still smiling.
***
“This doesn’t feel like something that would be recommended by the Surgeon General,” Eddie said and eyed the unitard in Dr. Owens hands with obvious distaste.
“There isn’t a thing about any of this that would be recommended by the Surgeon General, so let’s leave him out of this,” Dr. Owens said pleasantly.
“Fair enough. You got those in any other color?” Eddie asked and pulled his cigarette pack out.
Robin took it from him. “Gross.”
“The young lady is right. Disgusting habit,” Dr. Owens agreed. He turned to the nurse behind him who promptly handed him a black unitard and Dr. Owens shoved it in Eddie’s hands and ushered the nurse and Robin out of the room so Eddie could change.
It was an old routine, this scene they were playing out. It gave Eddie a feeling of normality, as if anything about this could be real. As if having a sociopathic, telepathic monster in his head for months could ever truly be normal. As if there were any way Eddie could ever forget what happened down there.
But hey, help was help, and if they thought this could make it a little better, why not at least try?
That’s how Steve had roped him into it. Hopper had used a little more direct force when Eddie was still reluctant.
The terms of the deal were simple:
These sessions at Hawkins labs were nonnegotiable if Eddie wanted to stay in Hawkins and keep in contact with his strange little group of friends. Otherwise, he would be forced to leave, and there was no telling if he would ever see anyone from Hawkins again.
Even without the deal that was forced onto Eddie, he knew that whatever “psychic damage” Henry Creel might have inflicted on him while he was in the Upside Down needed to be repaired and there was only one repair shop in town for that mess.
Dr. Owens & Co. still recommended that Eddie move far away from the repaired gates, and Eddie would.
Eventually.
When he had a plan.
And everyone else left.
Eddie pulled the unitard on and then grabbed the robe by the door and slipped the flimsy, disposable slippers on that were left on the floor underneath it, and left the room.
He followed Dr. Owens instructions and found the room where everyone was waiting.
“This is weird,” Eddie whispered to a nameless nurse who took his robe. She was unfamiliar to Eddie unlike Doris and Missy, who were the ones who usually handled this sort of thing.
“You’re doing great,” she whispered back and held out a pill and a small glass of water.
“I don’t take drugs from strangers, thanks,” Eddie said.
“How about a doctor?” She whispered.
Eddie was a sexist, apparently. Obviously she was a doctor and he was a terrible human to think otherwise.
“You thought I was a nurse,” she said and Eddie took the pill.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“It happens,” she replied with an easy shrug.
He tossed the pill back with the water and handed the small cup back. “What’s that for?”
“Just to help you relax,” she said and she pointed at the giant deprivation tank in the middle of the room. Eddie had had a panic attack last time they did this, which wasn’t the norm, but wasn’t unusual either. “Let’s get you in there.”
That was the last truly solid thing that Eddie remembered.
***
“Do you get used to this?” Eddie asked when he opened his eyes in a vast empty space, a puddle of warm water around his bare ankles. He was wearing his blood-splattered Hellfire shirt and dirty jeans.
“I don’t think I’ve ever not been used to this. It’s like Lucas and Dustin and their sandwiches,” El said from where she was seated on a copy of the trailer’s sofa. In front of her was a coffee table and there were stacks of thick paper in front of her.
The light that filtered in through the pale green threadbare curtains was soft, like someone had turned the dimmer down on the sun. It could have been dawn or the night was just beginning to take over.
“Oh yeah?” Eddie asked. He didn’t move forward. She did this part the best without him near. If you asked Eddie how he knew that, he wouldn’t be able to give you an answer, but he knew it just the same.
El glanced up and her hair was still short, but not buzzed anymore. It hung in curls around her face. She gave him a smile. “You look better. More here.”
Eddie looked down at his hands and he had to agree. When he had been in previous sessions with El, he had been almost transparent. She said that it was a sign that he had been afraid to show up here, for whatever reason. But as he became more and more solid, he was taking back bits and pieces of his own mind.
He wasn’t sure about the blood-splattered uniform of his death though. That needed some work.
“What’s this about the sandwiches?” Eddie asked.
There was a stool off to the side and Eddie sat on it.
“Lucas says that you can’t beat a classic peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich and Dustin said he’s crazy to not like peanut butter, banana, and honey,” El said.
Eddie made a face.
El laughed. “Dustin grew up with his kind of sandwiches and Lucas had his. This is my kind of sandwich and I’ve always thought it was normal. It never crossed my mind that it wasn’t normal.”
Eddie had his own kind of normal. For months, it had been normal to not exist in his own mind, to let Vecna take control of his thoughts and his body. It had been like sleepwalking.
Then one day he heard someone call his name. He heard a vaguely familiar voice call for him, begging for him to come back. Eddie forced himself awake and found he was staring at Steve, battered, filthy, a little bloody, holding a spear with a wicked looking blade. That’s what made Eddie think of the werewolf and calling their name to bring them back to life as a human.
That wasn’t normal either, Eddie knew that, but it was better.
“Sandwiches,” Eddie said.
“Sandwiches,” El agreed.
They were quiet for a moment and El returned to her task.
“I’m siding with Lucas on this one,” he said.
El shrugged and kept her eyes on the coffee table in front of her. She was sorting through her stacks of paper, dropping most of them in one large plastic container at her feet and ripping others to shreds and tossing them away.
“You gave me pictures today. Thank you,” El said, her voice quiet.
This part was always a neat puzzle for El and she said it gave her a chance to use all the things she knew to help instead of hurt. That was important, Eddie knew.
“Well, the guitar strings last time seemed like a bitch. I don’t want to be too much trouble for you,” Eddie said, trying to joke but failing miserably.
El paused and looked up at him and Eddie always forgot how piercing her gaze was until she turned it on him.
The session last week had El sorting through tangled guitar strings. She had pulled them apart gently, slowly, and they didn’t talk much that time.
It had been brutal.
Eddie felt every single one of those guitar strings like it was linked inside of his brain and every time she straightened one out, separated it from the mess in her hands, there was a feeling of an ice cold needle stabbing inside his head before there was relief. It was the first time he felt physical pain while with El. To Eddie and El, it felt like they were in there for weeks.
It had been three hours.
Eddie never saw what El saw, but halfway through that session, El started wiping her face while Eddie held his head in his hands and eventually the pain drove him to his knees, where he stayed and wept.
“Eddie,” El said, her tone flat and a little annoyed.
“Yeah?” He said and wished he had something to fiddle with.
“You are my friend. I am helping you. That’s what friends do,” El said.
Eddie gave her a half smile. “Goonies never say die.”
El gave him a funny look and shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“Oh, kiddo. You and your friends are coming over for some education,” Eddie said and they shared a smile.
“Goonies never say die,” El repeated and even though she wasn’t clear on the reference, she understood.
***
“Hey, sorry, sorry I was late,” Steve said as he skidded to a halt in the waiting room. Dr. Owens and Robin looked up from their conversation, where Dr. Owens was probably giving Robin the rundown of what to expect when Eddie came out of the tank.
Steve was usually the one to drive him to this once a week thing and drive him back to Steve’s house after, but Steve had an appointment with a lawyer that morning.
“No problem. He still has another couple of hours,” Dr. Owens said.
“Right,” Steve said and pushed his hand through his hair. He let out a breath and gave them both a smile and sat down.
Steve was used to this part. The waiting part. The nurses long ago gave up on trying to get him to go grab lunch or something while Eddie was in the tank with El.
When Eddie was still in the Upside Down, he was stuck in some weird limbo. Time was frozen down there, and he had died, but… not quite. Whatever Vecna had done, whatever had frozen time down there worked on Eddie too. So he was dead, kinda, but not really. Vecna was able to control him and the first time Steve had seen Eddie down there, he felt something like relief that crushed his soul.
But if he were alive, if he were able to fight them, then there was hope. Robin had reminded him of that. There was a chance to save him.
But it wasn’t like Vecna left Eddie alone while he was down there. Not a chance in hell. He fucked with Eddie’s head in a way Eddie refused to speak about. Steve was never quite sure if he wanted to know.
Since it remained unspoken between them, Steve tried to be there in the only way he knew how.
He drove Eddie, waited for him, and took him back to Steve’s place where he stayed until the following morning when Eddie felt well enough to be up and around on his own.
El told him it wasn’t a physical illness, but it was a lot for one person to deal with.
Steve knew enough to respect that one line Eddie had drawn, and he didn’t want to cross it, but he wondered if there were any general questions that Dr. Owens could answer. He rubbed his palm over the worn cover of The Fellowship of the Ring and decided he would ask.
Finally Dr. Owens stood up and looked at Steve and Robin. “Anything I can get you guys? Soda? Water? I know Doris will be bringing snacks in just a few minutes.”
Steve took a deep breath and Dr. Owens looked to him.
“I don’t – I mean, I know you can’t answer in specific terms, but what is it like? For him?” Steve asked.
Dr. Owens crossed his arms over his chest and looked down. He rocked back on his heels and was silent for a moment. “Are you worried about last time?”
Steve didn’t want to answer that either, but Dr. Owens was a smart guy.
“Yeah,” Steve said with a sigh.
Dr. Owens nodded and glanced at the clock. Deciding he had time, or whatever he had to get to could wait, Dr. Owens pulled a chair over to Steve. Robin glanced at the two of them and she seemed unsure of herself. She looked at Steve and he nodded.
“I’m going to go, since Steve is here,” she said. She hugged Steve briefly before leaving.
The waiting room door swung shut behind her and Dr. Owens leaned forward.
“Last time was tough. On both of them. I won’t tell you what they told me, you know that, but it was much harder than either one of them was prepared for. Eleven believes that it was the worst of what Vecna did to him, and she has a sincere hope that from here on out, it will be much easier on him,” Dr. Owens said.
Steve swallowed and nodded. “He’s getting better?”
Dr. Owens took a moment to answer that, because he wasn’t a bad guy. He was a decent man who had tried to turn a shitty situation around and kept trying to turn it around every time it got fucked up. Steve understood that.
“Eleven has told me that they occupy a space in Eddie’s mind that is fairly neutral. Whatever is on his mind the most is what manifests there. Parts of it, anyway. Last time, they were in the theater where he used to play that game with the boys,” Dr. Owens said.
“DnD,” Steve said.
“She described a large table, no chairs, and on the table was a tangle of guitar strings. Straightening Eddie’s memories out is a rather simple process and he provides the puzzle without even realizing it. Once there had been a large box of marbles, all different colors, and she had to separate them. Each marble contained a memory. He had blue, green, gray and turquoise marbles, but interspersed were bright red marbles. The red marbles were memories that Vecna had planted in his head,” Dr. Owens said.
Steve nodded. “El had to go in there and pull the red ones out.”
“Correct. Each session has become more and more personal. The guitar strings were the most personal yet. It caused him a great deal of physical pain, something we hadn’t seen or expected,” Dr. Owens said.
The air left Steve’s body.
He didn’t like that.
He didn’t like that at all.
“But now, El thinks that was the worst of it. The guitar strings were the most personal thing to him and she has hope that this will be on an upward trajectory. We could be coming to the end of it,” Dr. Owens said, real hope laced in his voice.
Steve nodded. He looked down at his book. “Thanks, doc.”
“Anytime, son,” Dr. Owens said and stood up. He clapped Steve on the shoulder and left him there in the waiting room.
Doris brought him chocolate chip cookies ten minutes later.
Normal was never truly normal. It was just what we knew.
***
Three hours later, Missy stuck her head into the waiting room. “He’s ready for you.”
Steve stood up and followed her down the hall and into the room where Eddie got dressed. He knocked.
“Come in,” Eddie said. He sounded tired.
“Hey,” Steve said.
Eddie was on a hospital bed, his back to the door, and he was clutching the sides of the bed. His head was bowed and he was taking deep breaths. Missy looked over at Steve, but he was already moving. He grabbed one of those pink buckets that they kept all over the place and put it under Eddie’s face. He felt Eddie’s hands slip under his and grasp the bucket.
Eddie leaned into Steve’s chest with a quiet groan.
“Got it?” Steve asked.
“Yeah,” Eddie whispered.
Steve let go of it and pulled Eddie’s hair back with a hair tie he had on his wrist for this exact reason.
Missy was lingering in the doorway and Steve caught her eye. “Any crackers and a soda, if you could.”
She nodded and left them there.
A few minutes later, Eddie was retching. He hated this part, fought it every step of the way, but it was a natural reaction to all the shit he had gone through in those tanks. Steve handed him a few tissues and took the bucket over to the sink and left it there and grabbed another bucket.
Missy came back and left the soda and crackers on the table next to the bed. After Steve told her they were okay, she left them alone again.
“I’m sorry, man. I know you had shit to do today,” Eddie said and sniffed. He forced himself to sit up, even though Steve could see he wanted nothing more than to lean into Steve again.
“Already done,” Steve said with an easy smile.
“Still, I mean –“ Eddie closed his eyes and shook his head. “You shouldn’t have to do this.”
“Hey, I got you. It’s no big deal. I’m not Frodo and you aren’t the One Ring,” Steve said.
Eddie furrowed his brow at Steve.
Steve was probably crossing a line here. He actually knew he was crossing several lines here and it could get him punched, but he wasn’t going to stop himself.
Steve put one hand to the side of Eddie’s face and looked him in the eye. “You aren’t a burden to carry, Eddie.”
Eddie froze and stared at Steve, his eyes a little wider than before.
“Okay?” Steve said.
Eddie took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He nodded.
“Come on,” Steve said and grabbed Eddie’s shirt and handed it to him.
They left the room and Eddie had yet to speak when he reached out and grabbed Steve’s arm.
Dizziness had always been a problem. Steve reached out and steadied him, and stayed with him until it passed.
“Jesus. Sorry,” Eddie said.
“This is nothing. Remember last time?” Steve asked and moved Eddie’s hand up to his shoulder and put his own over it and guided him out of the building like that.
“No. What happened? Did I puke on you?” Eddie asked.
“Nah. I carried you out like you were a damsel in distress,” Steve said and grinned at Eddie.
“Fuck off,” Eddie said and squinted at the light.
Steve handed him his sunglasses.
“You swooned,” Steve teased.
“Ugh, that’s it. I’m applying for a new best friend first thing in the morning,” Eddie said and opened the door to Steve’s brand new Mercedes.
The BMW had been a casualty in Vecna’s war.
“I’m your best friend?” Steve said when he got in.
“Uh, yeah. You see anyone else staying by my side the minute they find out I’m undead?” Eddie said.
Steve grinned. “No. I don’t.”
“It’s you and me, babe. The sky’s the limit and the road is clear,” Eddie said.
Babe.
So far, Steve’s favorite nickname.
Don’t get him wrong, he liked sweetheart. Honey was nice, too. Lovely was a very close second. Pretty boy was a good one too.
But babe?
That’s how Eddie could get Steve to do just about anything.
Steve just prayed that Eddie never found that out.
Just like every other time, Eddie passed out before they even made it back to Steve’s house.
This one was new and Robin lived next door. They were mirror images of each other, two bedroom houses, cozy little things with big front and back yards. The first thing they had done was tear down the fence between them and installed a walkway.
Steve led a sleepy Eddie inside and into what Steve had dubbed Eddie’s Room™. He laid Eddie down and took off his sneakers, threw a blanket over him, and closed the door.
He wouldn’t wake up until the next day.
Steve busied himself for the rest of the day. Mowing the lawn, cleaning the house, making a grocery list, anything and everything that needed to be done in the house, he did that day. Eddie hadn’t ever woken after his sessions, but Steve didn’t want him to wake up to an empty house if he did.
Eddie promised Steve he would stay.
Steve made that same promise to Eddie, whether he knew it or not.
***
“Steve?”
He jerked awake and he looked around his room, and he had never been so grateful for a night light in his life.
“You awake?” Eddie asked.
Steve blinked, looked around. “Yeah. What happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m right as rain, darling. You sounded like you were going toe to toe with the devil himself,” Eddie said.
It had been a dream. But what it had been about was already slipping away. There was blood, and screaming, but other than that, there was just a complete and utter blackness.
“Hey,” Eddie said and stepped inside. He was wearing pajamas Argyle had bought him. They had broccoli all over them. Eddie hated broccoli. “You back?”
Steve’s blanket and pillow were on the floor, the sheet tangled around his lower legs and feet. Eddie tugged it free and straightened it out before laying it out on Steve before doing the same with the blanket and handing Steve his pillow.
Steve nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m right here.”
Eddie sat down on the bed next to Steve and offered his hand.
Steve took it and held it between his own, cradled it, and closed his eyes.
“Want to talk about it?” Eddie asked, his voice low.
“I don’t remember what it was,” Steve said.
That was the worst thing about it. If he could remember it, then he could tell Eddie and Eddie could dissect it into tiny bits, he could tell Steve what was wrong with it and then Steve would sleep easy, knowing that Eddie was there to put reality back together for him.
This was an old act, they had it down to a science.
“What can I do?” Eddie asked.
“Tell me what’s real,” Steve said.
Eddie scooted closer until his legs pressed against Steve’s on the bed. Steve turned his hand so that Eddie’s knuckles were toward the ceiling and pressed his hand to Steve’s forehead.
“Robin is real. Robin and her anxiety over everything, but mostly that her friends are okay, that’s real. Nancy and her ability to boss everyone around, including actual doctors who listen to her, that’s real. Will and the way he can tell stories and make you wish you were there with him, that’s real,” Eddie said.
Steve nodded. “Okay.”
“Max and her shitty attitude and the way she loves you so much, that’s real. Lucas and his insane adoration for Max, that’s real. Hopper and how he would fight the entire US military to make sure Eleven is okay, that’s real. Dustin and his annoying ability to be right even when he’s wrong and how he never gives up, especially on you, that’s real,” Eddie said.
Steve took a deep breath and let it out shakily. “Okay.”
“I’m real. I’m right here with you, babe. I’m real and I’ll fight what I can for you. I’m real,” Eddie said.
“Promise?” Steve asked and his voice cracked in the middle of the word.
Eddie took his hand back and for a second, Steve knew he had asked too much and that Eddie was going to leave him because Steve was always so greedy.
Instead, Eddie slipped his arm around Steve’s bare shoulders and pulled him back to lay against Eddie’s chest.
“Just show me the way, babe, and I’ll stab them in their fucking faces,” Eddie said.
It was dark, but Eddie was warm and close and he promised he would stay.
***
The governor and new mayor (since the old one had been either eaten by a demogorgon or taken by the Russians, no one was sure) decided that there should be a grand re-opening of sorts. To bring people back.
Steve lived in Hawkins and he couldn’t imagine the kind of person that would willing come back to Hawkins and honestly, he thought the mayor and the governor were out of their minds, but whatever.
“It’s not even a grand opening. It’s a grand reopening. Of the town that almost swallowed a bunch of us whole and what? They think people are just going to flock back here?” Robin asked over the steaming cup in her hands.
“We’re here,” Steve said and punched the order in and handed it over to the construction worker in front of him. “So are these guys.”
“We don’t stay after dark,” the guy pointed out helpfully. He flashed Steve a smile that made him deeply uncomfortable for some reason. He wasn’t that much older than Steve, probably mid-twenties, and the way his eyes flicked to the scars on Steve’s neck and then on his arms made Steve squirm inside.
Steve made a quick note of his features; a little shorter than Steve, stockier, a thick blonde moustache and brown eyes. He had an anchor tattoo on his forearm that was poorly done (Eddie taught him a lot about tattoos), and another one in indecipherable script on the other forearm.
Steve wasn’t at work to be made uncomfortable. That wasn’t what they were here for. He stared the guy down and held onto his coffee for a long minute, making him uncomfortable.
Steve made a face at him. “Thanks.”
“We’re here because if we aren’t, they might start experimenting on little kids and break the universe again,” Eddie said from the drive thru.
Steve sighed.
He didn’t know how to approach what he really wanted to say and what was really on his mind.
The fact of the matter was this:
Steve Harrington liked Hawkins the way it was. Just them, the ones who had fought the monsters and survived and come back not only victorious, but carrying the ones they thought they had lost.
Dr. Owens said that it was too insular and that he should probably understand that it isn’t healthy to surround himself with the people that he had gone through so much trauma with.
Which, fine, he had a point, but Steve didn’t have to like it. Even if it was a very valid point with healthy benefits.
Steve just didn’t want to lose his family. Not again.
“Do you guys even know of anyone coming back?” Jonathan asked as he cleaned off the bar.
“Gareth, Jeff, and Frankie said they would,” Eddie said, the cheer bright and clear in his voice.
Steve avoided looking at Robin.
That didn’t stop her from sidling up next to him and touching his arm. “We’re out of milk. Can you go grab it for me? It’s at the top shelf and I can’t reach it.”
Steve nodded. “Which one?”
“Whole,” Robin said and Steve nodded and she took over the register as Jonathan took up her spot.
Meeting Grounds had been open for two weeks now and they were bustling. The construction workers who were rebuilding the town were their only customers, since Hop never paid for his drinks and they refused to take Joyce’s money, but that was more than enough.
Steve spotted the whole milk in a perfectly reachable spot in the walk in fridge and he was just grateful that Robin knew him well enough to know when he needed space from the talk of people coming back. She didn’t share his worry but who did?
Robin was thinking of going to college with Nancy.
Steve encouraged her, thought they would make a great team together, however that worked out. He was happy for her, scared for the world to see a Nancy and Robin team up, but it hurt all the same.
They would have to talk about that soon, Steve knew. He wondered how long she would let him avoid it.
The look in her eye when he came back to the front said not long at all. Jonathan handed him the drink he had just finished preparing and Steve called out the name and handed it off to the customer.
“We’re hanging out tonight! Me and Steve!” Robin called out to everyone behind the counter.
Eddie pouted. “I never get to hang out with Steve!”
“You practically live at his house, my dude,” Argyle said as he came in from the back, off his break, as the customers really began to pour in. There was a sea of bright orange vests in front of them. He nudged Robin off the register and both her and Steve took over for Jonathan as he went to go help Eddie.
“This makes me wish we had normal school,” Mike complained as he went around the back to restock the napkins and other things they kept on the counters and table.
“Shut up,” Lucas grumbled.
“What? It’s true!” Mike said.
Dustin ducked around them and went into the office where he did the bookkeeping. “Yeah, we all know how much you don’t like doing real work, Mike. Keep complaining, I’m sure no one else knows.”
Lucas snorted and tied an apron on.
Mike dropped a box of napkins a little too hard and he looked like he was going to say something really ugly to Dustin. Jonathan stepped between them and said something in a low voice to Mike and he turned around and left the coffee shop.
Jonathan groaned and scrubbed his face.
“That’s not good,” Argyle said, his tone mild and understated.
Steve and Eddie looked at each other. There wasn’t anything to be done about it now, but maybe later.
Their parents were back so it wasn’t like Steve was having to do any serious parenting these days, but there were things their parents didn’t understand that only Steve or one of the others could.
This seemed like one of those things.
Will had slipped in with the others and caught Steve’s eye. He shook his head minutely and Steve decided that was a problem for not-now, especially if Will asked for him to be not-now.
The rest of the morning passed quickly and before Steve knew it, they were closing up at noon, just like every other day. If the construction workers needed a caffeine fix, they had to make their own or find a soda.
In the parking lot, Steve scrubbed his face. He looked at the sparse trees that remained behind Meeting Grounds. Will’s house was that way.
Then Steve turned the other way, towards the Wheelers place. Both were a short walk away and if he got this out of the way now, maybe Robin would take pity on him and make him dinner.
He doubted it because she had once burnt toast so bad it was hard as a rock, so he didn’t even really want her to, but the thought was nice.
When he turned around, mind made up to go talk to Mike, he was confronted with Dustin, Lucas, Jonathan, Eddie, and Robin.
“You shouldn’t talk to Mike. Not right now,” Dustin said. Steve finally got a good look at him. He had bags under his eyes and he wouldn’t meet Steve’s eyes for some reason.
Lucas did meet Steve’s gaze. He was easier to figure out. And right now, Lucas was pissed. His hands were clenched and every so often, Steve saw a muscle in his jaw tic.
“I think –“ Jonathan started quietly. He pressed a hand to his forehead. “I think you should go talk to Will. Let Eddie talk to Mike.”
Steve stared at Jonathan, aghast. “What? Why aren’t you talking to Will about this? What is this?”
“It’s better to hear it from Will. And there is a smaller chance that if it comes to blows, I won’t do that much damage to Mike,” Eddie said.
There weren’t a lot of things that could piss both Dustin and Lucas off, but Will? More importantly, Will being treated badly?
That was a surefire way to do it.
Mike and Steve’s relationship was not the best, and Mike didn’t handle confrontation easily. Getting the two of them together, especially over Will, that was a fast way to putting Mike in the hospital and Steve being in enough trouble to involve Hopper.
Steve looked to Eddie.
“You’re sure this is the best way?” He asked.
Eddie took a deep breath and Robin glanced over at him.
“Yeah,” Eddie said.
“We’re gonna go,” Jonathan said when Argyle finally came out of the shop and locked up. He pushed Dustin and Lucas away and they went, however unwillingly.
Steve handed Robin his keys. She wrapped one cool hand around his forearm and squeezed gently.
“You know how to do this, better than anyone else. That’s why you need to talk to Will,” Robin said in a low voice.
“I have no idea what I’m supposed to do,” Steve said, confused.
“Steve,” Robin said, barely more than a whisper –
She leaned against the bathroom tile, her eyes wide and pleading for his understanding. The way she said his name, like it was an explanation.
Tammy Thompson was a girl, his voice echoed in his own head.
“Oh,” Steve said and blinked. He looked away from her, toward the woods, and the understanding hit him like a ton of bricks.
“Yeah. Oh,” Robin said and that was all the confirmation he needed.
“All right. Yeah, I got this,” Steve said and nodded. He handed her the keys to his car.
“I’ll have Legend waiting for you,” Robin promised and left. She was an overly careful driver and he watched her speed away.
Then he turned back to Eddie.
“You didn’t know,” Eddie guessed and winced. He looked down. “I can talk to Will.”
“No, it’s okay. I’m glad I got a little bit of warning before I went, though,” Steve said.
“Warning?” Eddie asked and looked up. That was a tone he hadn’t used before. “Why?”
“Didn’t you see me? I’m not the smartest guy on the block and it took me a minute to compute and change my entire world view for Will. Now I can just keep my eyes on the prize,” Steve said, confident.
Eddie blinked at him. “I don’t understand.”
“What I’m saying is that if Will told me himself, I would have done that,” Steve gestured to his face, “and that was enough time for him to freak out. But I’m not… I don’t know. I don’t… care?”
Eddie crossed his arms over his chest. “Kind of a big thing to not care about, Steve.”
That stung for some reason. He didn’t realize how he had gotten used to Eddie using nicknames instead of just his name.
Steve was hopeless.
“That came out wrong. It doesn’t change anything. Right? Will was Will before I knew about what I’m probably not supposed to know about and Will is Will now that I know. If I cared about him before, which I did, then why does it change now?” Steve asked.
Eddie glanced away at Mike’s house. His shoulders relaxed a little and he dropped his arms. He chuckled and shook his head, turned away from Steve, in the direction of Mike’s house.
“Does it matter to you?” Steve asked, his voice small and quiet.
He didn’t want to lose Eddie, but if Will’s sexuality really mattered this much to Eddie, enough to make him dislike Will, then that was it.
That was the only thing that could get Steve to stop being friends with Eddie.
These dumbass kids were the only people that could sway Steve’s opinion one way or the other.
“What?” Eddie said and turned to face Steve, disbelief coloring his demeanor. He turned back to Steve and there was a wild grin on his face, one Steve hadn’t seen since the Upside Down. “What did you say to me?”
“Does it matter to you? Will?” Steve asked and his chest felt tight for some reason. So tight it hurt to breathe a little and he couldn’t swallow. His palms were drenched all of a sudden and he shoved them in his pockets.
Why did this feel like confronting Jonathan in that alley so long ago? Or seeing Billy park in front of the Byers’ old house?
Eddie’s grin faded a little when he saw what it was taking for Steve to ask this.
He crossed the short distance to Steve, took hold of him by his upper arms and squeezed. Eddie searched Steve’s face and whatever he found there made him go soft, those big brown eyes understanding something else Steve did not.
“I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. I love them, those rabid little fuckers. I love them. They could start an actual Satanic cult that does actual human sacrifices and if it would make them happy, I would be the first one to defend them. Love isn’t… Love isn’t a season. It doesn’t change. That won’t change,” Eddie said.
Steve let out a breath. He didn’t want to think that Eddie would think of them otherwise, but he had to be sure. He had to be really sure.
“Okay,” Steve said.
“All right. Go get ‘em, babe. If you hear sirens, it might be me being arrested for kicking Mike’s ass. Come bail me out,” Eddie said.
“Of course,” Steve said and Eddie nodded, and their talk didn’t feel finished, Steve felt like he was missing something still, but Eddie walked backward to Mike’s house.
“I’ll swing by later,” Eddie promised.
Steve nodded. He turned around and started through the sparse trees toward Will’s house.
***
“What are you doing? You don’t knock, come in,” Joyce huffed at him and opened the door wider for Steve.
Hopper was at the table, glaring at a soda in front of him. Next to him, El spun a spoon around on the tabletop. There were no more bloody noses, Steve realized. The air was crackling with some kind of thrum of weird energy that wasn’t El’s powers.
There was something going on here that Steve wasn’t sure he was qualified to help with.
El looked a little disappointed and unhappy which would explain the look on Hopper’s face, but not on El’s face.
“Are you here to talk to Will?” Hop grumbled from his side of the table.
“I am,” Steve said. He put his hands in his pockets again, thankful that his Members Only jacket made it through the apocalypse. It was like his own personal safety blanket.
“Did they tell you what happened?” El asked, her voice even and quiet. Whatever was going on was bothering her too and now Steve put the pieces together.
He looked down. “No, they didn’t tell me what happened.”
El chuckled which was kind of a weird reaction, if Steve was understanding everything correctly. “I’m glad they didn’t send you to Mike. Dad might feel bad about arresting you.”
Hop did laugh at that. “No, I wouldn’t. I would take him out for a steak.”
Steve was desperately confused.
“Is Will in his room?” He asked.
“Yeah, he’s –“ Joyce sighed and twisted her hands together before clenching them into fists. “He’s pretty upset. He hasn’t said so, but it’s easy to tell.”
It was. Poor kid wore his heart on his sleeve.
“Well, I’m not going to make it worse, I promise. I kind of know how to do this sort of thing,” Steve said and thought of Robin.
Joyce nodded. “Yeah. I just – Steve, if you make it worse, I’ll have to kill you, okay?”
Goddamn it, this woman was so sweet, even her threat to Steve was polite.
“I know,” Steve said and pointed at the stairs that led to the basement.
Joyce nodded.
Steve turned to go down, but El called his name, stopped him.
“Can we talk? Later?” She asked.
“Of course,” Steve said.
He turned to go down the stairs where he could hear The Clash blaring from the other side of the door.
***
Eddie knocked on the door of Nancy and Mike’s house.
Nancy opened it and she looked pained. “I’m glad it’s you.”
“It was a unanimous vote. Jonathan couldn’t do it because he already wants to throw him into the Upside Down and Steve couldn’t because he would beat his face in,” Eddie said.
“I tried,” Nancy said. She turned and he followed her in. “He just doesn’t get it.”
“Not to make too fine a point of it, Boss, but you got all the brains in the family. There’s still hope for Holly, but as for Mike –“ Eddie winced.
“I know,” Nancy said and she drummed her fingers against the couch. “He doesn’t mean to hurt him, but –“
“It happens just the same. I know. Believe me, it’s not my first time down this very road,” Eddie said.
Nancy furrowed her brow. “You had another friend who was…?”
Eddie shot her a quick smile. “No. No, not like that. It’s just a very well trod road. I know all the landmarks.”
Dawning realization was a good look on Nancy Wheeler.
“Does he know?” Nancy asked.
“I’m not sure if you’re asking about Mike –“
“I’m not, you know I’m not,” Nancy said in a rush.
“No. He doesn’t know,” Eddie said. He chuckled and ran a hand over his face. He gave her a smile. “One at a time, Wheeler. Let’s handle this one first.”
Nancy nodded and gestured to Mike’s room. “Have at it.”
Music blared out of Mike’s room, and Eddie groaned when he realized it was Tears for Fears.
He banged on the door.
“Go away, Nancy!”
Eddie tried the door only to find it locked. He pulled a bobby pin out of his pocket and picked the lock quickly and opened the door.
Mike sat up quickly and he relaxed when he saw that it was Eddie.
“I thought you were Steve,” Mike said and sighed.
“Buddy, by the time I’m done with you, you’re going to be begging for Steve,” Eddie said and slammed the door behind him.
***
Steve knocked.
“I’m okay, Mom, I swear!” Will called out.
“It’s me, Will,” Steve said and the music turned down.
“Come in!”
Steve expected it to be locked, but the door opened easily.
Will’s room faced west, so as the sun began its descent in the sky, he got light from the high windows. There were dozens and dozens of books scattered everywhere.
Steve made a beeline for the bookcase he and Hopper and Jonathan had built into the room. It’s where Will kept his best figurines that he painted. Steve was always fascinated by them and usually Eddie hovered over his shoulder and reminded him to be careful.
The door closed behind him.
Steve looked over at Will who was still sitting on his bed.
“El. Mom and Hop were probably eavesdropping,” Will explained.
Steve laughed and turned back to the figurines. He picked up a knight (was that the right word?) and turned it around in his hand. His shield was painted red and purple and it shouldn’t have worked but it did.
“Did you hear what happened? Is that why you’re here?” Will asked, his voice a little tense.
“I don’t know what happened,” Steve said.
“Sure,” Will said sarcastically.
“I’m serious. I know that you and Mike fought, that Mike was an asshole of epic proportions to get Dustin and Lucas mad at him, that Mike hurt El too, but other than that, I don’t know what happened,” Steve said and put the knight down, made sure he was at the same angle Will had him in, and turned around.
Will sat on his bed, hands clasped together. He took a deep breath.
“Do you know?” He whispered. He didn’t look up at Steve.
Steve grabbed Will’s desk chair and he didn’t miss the way Will flinched at the sudden movement and Steve understood. He knew that he was the asshole jock bully that was supposed to beat up guys like Will.
But Steve had found a visceral pleasure in being exactly what people didn’t expect.
He pulled the chair over in front of Will and sat down.
“No one has told me anything. And even if they did tell me something, I wouldn’t believe them because it’s not their fucking place to say a thing to me. True or not,” Steve said.
Will nodded and swallowed. He looked up once at Steve and then back down at his hands.
“I haven’t been where you are, but you aren’t the first person to say something this important to me. Nothing changes. Nothing at all, Will,” Steve said.
“I’ve only told Jonathan,” Will whispered.
“I’m glad he was there for you,” Steve said meaningfully.
“The guys know. I haven’t said it, but they know,” Will said.
“Is that what started all this?” Steve asked.
Will sniffed and shook his head. “No. It was – uh. Oh god.”
Steve’s instincts were on high alert at those last two words. He still had his bat. But he forced himself still, forced himself to focus on Will.
Steve offered his hand.
Will took it.
“I walk to Meeting Grounds sometimes,” Will said, his voice low and shaky. He clung to Steve’s hand with a surprising amount of strength. “And there’s this guy, one of the workers, he always stops and talks to me. He’s nice. He asks about stuff. Like books and what I’m drawing and we’ve been talking.”
“For how long?” Steve asked quietly.
“A couple of months,” Will said.
“Okay,” Steve said. He was fighting the urge to say that every single construction worker in Hawkins was way too old to be interested in Will and then Steve understood that and he was going to get the bat out anyway, just not for Mike.
“We – um. I’ve had lunch with him a couple of times, nothing big, not like a date or anything, but he’s nice, Steve,” Will said and looked up at Steve, desperate for him to understand.
Steve nodded.
“Please don’t be mad,” Will begged.
“At you? Never,” Steve scoffed.
“No, just don’t be mad,” Will said and sniffed again.
Steve took a deep breath and shook his head. “I can’t promise that.”
Will held on to him for a second longer before getting to his feet in a burst of movement that was so hurried, Steve had to get back.
“You’re just like them!” Will yelled. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes narrowed.
Steve stood up and locked the door, took a chair next to it and put it under the doorknob. He was pretty sure it was there to keep people out.
“What do you mean?” Steve asked.
“You’re just like them! You don’t want me to be happy, like I don’t get to be happy, just because – because I’m –” Will let out a scream of frustration and turned away from Steve.
“I want you to be happy, Will. I want that more than anything else for you. I want you to find someone who thinks the sun shines out your ass. I would go toe to toe with anything in the Upside Down for that,” Steve said.
“No! You wouldn’t! You just want to keep me around, while you get to be happy with some girl and you get to live your life while I’m stuck here, off to the side, waiting for you to remember me!” Will yelled.
Steve was glad he did the chair thing. The door handled jiggled.
“Will,” Steve said softly.
Anger gave Will the courage to stare Steve in the eye. “He kissed me.”
Steve let out a breath. He was angry. He was furious. He was going to find this guy and he was going to take the bat to his nuts.
But not now.
“You want to know what Mike said?” Will asked.
Steve swallowed. He didn’t want to. “You can tell me.”
There were tears on his face now and he wiped them away with the back of his sleeve. “He said I was disgusting. And Dustin and Lucas just sat there. I thought – I thought that they all had someone, maybe it was my turn. Maybe I could have someone just for me.”
Steve took a step toward Will.
Will stepped back.
Steve paused.
“He kept saying it. How gross it was, how could I be like that, why would I even want to and Dustin and Lucas they didn’t – they didn’t stop him, they didn’t even tell him to shut up,” Will said.
“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered. He took a step forward and Will didn’t move.
“Then, do you know what he said?” Will said. He was shaking now, Steve could see it. He was barely holding it together.
“No,” Steve said and took another step toward Will.
“He said, No wonder it’s so much work to be your friend. You’re always so dramatic.”
Maybe the bat would be for Mike, after all.
Steve took another step forward.
“Then Lucas stood up, shoved him away and Dustin said that it wasn’t me that was all the work but Mike,” Will said. He wiped his face.
Steve was within arms reach now.
“I think Mike said something else, but I just wanted to get out of there. I wanted to be anywhere else. I was getting my stuff together and Dustin said that if Mike said anything like that ever again, he would tell you what Mike said and then Mike called him a child –“ Will was babbling now and Steve reached out.
Got him.
Will collapsed into Steve and Steve held him at an awkward angle because Will was pressed to Steve’s chest and Will was trying to say something, but Steve couldn’t understand.
He just held him for a long moment.
Steve let Will run out of words and sobbed until he couldn’t hold the two of them up anymore and they slid to the floor.
Steve didn’t know what else to say, and he hoped that he could be enough for Will to hold onto.
***
“Heard you were a real dickwad,” Eddie said conversationally.
The front door slammed.
If Eddie was a betting man, he would say Nancy was on her way to Robin’s.
“I was just honest,” Mike said.
Eddie picked up a book, one of the thick ones they all enjoyed and saw there was a bookmark about a third of the way through. He pulled it out and let it fall to his feet and put the book down.
“Honesty is a real convenient shield to hide behind,” Eddie said.
“Dude!” Mike said when he saw what Eddie had done.
“I mean, I could be honest about you, if you want,” Eddie said and walked over to all the books in his bookcase.
In one swift move, Eddie knocked them off.
“What are you doing?” Mike yelled.
“A little destruction. Disregard for all the things you enjoy. Because they all suck, if we are being honest,” Eddie said.
“You’ve read most of them!” Mike said.
“And you only read them because I said you should. And those are the only ones you read. I’ve seen guys like you, Mike. A copy of a copy of a copy, just one more among many. The only remarkable thing about you? You’re about to lose it,” Eddie said.
“What are you talking about?” Mike said.
Eddie caught a corner of a poster featuring all of Eddie’s favorite bands. This would hurt, Eddie thought, and jerked it down.
“You haven’t had an original thought in your head that wasn’t supplied by someone else. Dustin? Kid is smart. Lucas? Kid is athletic. Will? Kid is painfully artistic. But you? Come on, man. You're only here because of Will and El,” Eddie said.
There was a flash of hurt on Mike’s face, but as usual, he got angry instead of hearing Eddie.
“Fuck you! You go around acting all crazy, so crazy that people thought you were a murderer! Who would want to be like you?” Mike said.
“Thank god not you,” Eddie said.
“I can’t believe I’m getting lectured by the local drug dealer,” Mike said and crossed his arms. “It won’t take me three times to graduate, so I guess I have that going for me.”
Eddie laughed. “Yeah, and anytime something new or different comes into your field of vision, you get pissed off. You get so angry that you push people away, people that have saved your ass more times than I’m starting to think you deserve.”
Mike’s face flushed.
“Here’s the thing. When you end up with your boring ranch house in boring Ohio or whatever, you’ll escape your boring marriage to go to the same boring bar and tell all the boring people about how you were once one of the heroes of Hawkins. While Dustin is off making millions in computers or some shit, while Lucas is playing for the NBA, while Will is a famous artist, where are you? Right where you want to be. Nowhere. Doing nothing,” Eddie said and went over to Mike’s closet and tore his shirts off the hangers and threw them at his face. “Probably wearing shit your wife bought you from the Gap.”
Mike opened his mouth.
“I’m not done. Shut up.”
Mike glared at him.
“You are going to push away amazing people, truly beautiful people and incredible experiences that could make you into someone that people would be proud to call their friend. You are rejecting that and why? Why, Mike?” Eddie asked.
“It’s gross,” Mike said.
“No one’s asking you to participate. I have it on good authority that gay guys have taste,” Eddie said and twisted his mouth cruelly. “That isn’t you.”
They stared at each other for a long beat and Eddie walked to the door. As he did, he pushed everything off Mike’s dresser.
“It isn’t fair!” Mike burst out.
Interesting, Eddie thought. He turned around.
“What isn’t?” Eddie asked.
“That Will is – is – like that and people are just fine with it,” Mike said.
“Has anyone not been fine with you and El? Hopper doesn’t count,” Eddie said.
Mike was silent.
“Then maybe it’s unfair for a different reason that you really ought to reflect on. Until then, you’re off all my campaigns,” Eddie said, dismissive. He put his hand on the door and smirked. “Steve can take your place.”
Mike’s outraged scream was pretty satisfying.
***
“You ready?” Steve asked.
“For what?” Will mumbled.
“To listen.”
Will looked away. He nodded.
“Does your mom or Jonathan know? About the guy?” Steve asked.
Will shook his head.
“You know why, don’t you? Why I’m mad? And you know it’s not at you,” Steve added, just to be sure.
Will looked down. He curled his fingers around each other.
“I meant it. When I said that I wanted you to be happy. I want you to find some good looking kid that can see all the amazing things that we do. Who will be proud to introduce you as his boyfriend, the artist. I want you to have all these firsts with someone just like you,” Steve said.
Will didn’t look up.
“He’s too old for you, Will. I think you already know that. I think that’s why you kept it a secret for so long,” Steve said, keeping his tone gentle and even.
“There’s just – I mean. It’s not exactly New York City here,” Will whispered.
“San Francisco,” Steve corrected.
Will looked up at him and he tried so hard not to laugh, but he lost that fight. He fell against his bed, wiped his face and nodded.
“I know,” Will whispered.
“I’m going to have to take care of this,” Steve said.
Will looked up.
“If I don’t, and people find out I knew, it could get bad. He shouldn’t be doing this to kids, you know?” Steve asked.
Will nodded. “Dustin knows who he is.”
Steve wanted to get to his feet right then, but he put his hand on Will’s shoulder. “I’m not mad at you. Or disgusted. Nothing has changed. I still love you like my own.”
“I know,” Will whispered.
“Robin knows where the bail money is,” Steve said and he got to his feet.
Will looked up but Steve was already opening his door.
When he got upstairs, Joyce was the first one to catch his eye.
“He’s fine,” Steve said.
“Should I?” Joyce gestured to the basement.
“Definitely,” Steve said and saw Jonathan and Dustin in the living room. Dustin met his eye and nodded.
“We have to go,” Dustin said and backed toward the door.
Steve grabbed Jonathan by his arm and pulled him to the door. Jonathan stumbled after him, confused.
“Where?” Hopper said.
“To… work?” Dustin said and made a mad dash for the door and the three of them ran from Hop’s shouted questions for Jonathan’s car.
“Where are we going?” Jonathan asked and looked over at Steve as they hit the main road.
Steve looked at Dustin.
“He doesn’t know,” Dustin said in a low voice.
“Pull over,” Steve said.
Steve didn’t want to be the one to tell Jonathan, but he needed to know.
As Steve told him as gently as he could, Jonathan’s face went pale and his hands started shaking. Steve was glad they weren’t in the car anymore. At least here on the side of the road, Steve could get out of the way if Jonathan started swinging.
“Do you –“ Jonathan took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He closed his eyes. “Do you know his name?”
“Dustin does,” Steve said.
“I need –“ Jonathan said, so deadly still that everything in Steve was telling him to get in the car and drive away. “I need Nancy.”
Steve wanted to protest, but he didn’t know why. There was no reason why Nancy shouldn’t come, but nothing in particular said that she should.
Jonathan didn’t look like he was up for a discussion on the matter.
“All right. Get in. I’ll drive,” Steve said.
When they got in, Dustin cleared his throat. “I asked Suzy if she could hack their employee database. I didn’t tell her why, but I had to kind of explain something, so I – I didn’t tell her why, but she got me the guy’s schedule.”
“I’m going to send her a fruit basket,” Steve said.
“Pears are her favorite,” Dustin provided, helpful as ever.
They fell quiet on the way to Nancy’s house but Steve pulled over when he saw Eddie walking away from the house.
“Nancy isn’t there. I think she went to Robin’s house,” Eddie said as he climbed in and looked around at everyone. “Everything okay?”
“We’ll explain at Robin’s,” Dustin said.
Steve spun the wheel around and floored it for Robin’s house. Luckily Nancy was there, and Jonathan marched into Robin’s house. Steve, Eddie, and Dustin all followed after him, but kept their distance.
Jonathan pulled Nancy into the backyard without a word.
“I thought they broke up months ago,” Eddie said in a low voice.
“They did, but if he were your brother, who would you go to? Who can keep a level head right now?” Steve asked.
“What are you talking about?” Eddie and Robin asked together.
Steve took a deep breath. He explained as succinctly as he could what he had found out.
Eddie shoved his hands into his jacket and kept his eyes on his shoes. He let out a breath.
Robin turned away from them.
“I need – gimme a minute. I’ll be right back,” Eddie said softly and left the house and Steve looked out the door to see Eddie go next door, into Steve’s house.
Jonathan and Nancy were still outside when Eddie came back in. As he opened the door, the group of them jumped when they heard Jonathan’s voice raise.
“Should we go out there?” Dustin asked.
“I don’t think so. He’s not yelling at her,” Robin said as she peered out the window.
Steve was about to ask Eddie what he had gone over to his house for when he realized that Eddie was wearing the steel-toed boots Steve had bought to go into the Upside Down last time. Eddie caught him staring and raised his eyebrows as though to say, Do you have a problem with my footwear?
No. He didn’t. The only problem Steve had is that he wished he had thought of it first.
Steve could only imagine the pinched concern on Nancy’s face as she let Jonathan vent, how her arms would be crossed over her chest, and her small hands closed into fists.
Robin went back to her room and when she came back, she had pulled a jacket on, and they were just waiting for Nancy and Jonathan.
“Here,” Eddie said in a low voice and pressed something into Steve’s hand.
Steve stared down at the two rings in his palm.
“Put ‘em on,” Eddie ordered.
He was being short with everyone, after Steve had explained what happened. It hurt, but he was just as angry as everyone else. It wasn’t Steve he was upset with, he reminded himself as he slid the two rings on.
“Your right hand,” Eddie ordered.
Steve switched the rings. The metal was smooth and warm from Eddie’s hand and Steve made a fist, admired them on his hand. Maybe he would steal them from Eddie, buy him new ones to distract him from Steve’s blatant theft.
A few minutes later, Nancy marched in and looked at Dustin. That’s all it took for him to scramble for his trusty backpack and hand over the information. She looked down at it and nodded.
“You stay here. Give us fifteen minutes and then call Hopper. Only then do you explain what happened and tell him where we are. Clear?” Nancy said.
Dustin nodded.
“Steve, you drive. Robin, Eddie, let’s go,” Nancy said and marched out the door.
Steve heard the stopwatch on Dustin’s watch start as he shut the door behind him.
Tense wasn’t the word for the atmosphere in the car. Rage didn’t fit either but that was as close as Steve could come.
Steve pulled into the construction area that was going to be the new library.
The five of them were easily recognizable after being on TV so many times, the media dubbing them and the others as the Heroes of Hawkins. Most of these guys were familiar faces from the coffee shop, too.
“Excuse me!” Nancy called out in a cheery voice.
She had found the foreman, of course she had, that’s why Jonathan needed her. She could easily persuade people to her side.
“Ms. Wheeler, what brings you here?” The man asked. He was about Hop’s age, with weathered skin behind gold rimmed glasses, with white stubble on his chin.
“Hi, I’m looking for Walter Pierce,” Nancy said.
The foreman looked puzzled. Steve saw his name stitched on his chest, Morrison.
“Can I ask what this is about?” Mr. Morrison asked, pleasantly.
“We’re running a raffle at the coffee shop. Robin, Eddie, and I all own Meeting Grounds,” Steve said when he saw Nancy flounder. He gave Mr. Morrison his Politician Smile, the one he had learned from his mom. “Walter won a month’s worth of free coffee.”
Mr. Morrison’s smile faltered for a minute, before he plastered it back on. “Is that so? Huh. That guy…” He shook his head. “Follow me, I’ll show you where he is.”
Steve looked over at Robin. She had seen how he had faltered just like Steve had. What had that been about?
She shook her head and they followed Mr. Morrison.
The day was gray and overcast, there would probably be snow later, and the wind was biting.
“This is nice of you, to come here to tell him,” Mr. Morrison said over his shoulder.
“Well, we try to pride ourselves on being good business owners,” Eddie said, fake cheer coloring his tone.
“Your parents must be proud of you, after all you’ve done for the town and then being business owners,” Mr. Morrison said and paused in front of a large slab of concrete. There were tools everywhere and men working on things that Steve didn’t have a clue about. There was a group of men, four or five, and they were talking and laughing.
The one leading the conversation was the guy from that morning, the one that had stared too long at Steve’s scars. The one with the shitty tattoos.
Don’t be him, don’t be him –
“What’s wrong?” Eddie whispered when he realized that Steve had zeroed in on one guy in particular.
“Walt! Hey, there’s some people here to talk to you!” Mr. Morrison said.
The guy with the shitty tattoos raised his hand, the one with the anchor on it and made his way over to them. For some reason, he kept his eyes on Steve.
“I got this. Jonathan, stay behind me until –“ Steve cleared his throat as Walt came close enough to hear them and gave him a smile. “Hey, I remember you from this morning!”
Robin, Nancy, and Eddie stared at Steve as Steve offered the guy his hand. Jonathan was behind the three of them and Steve hoped they would just follow his lead.
“Steve, right?” Walt said and took Steve’s hand.
“That’s right,” Steve said and gripped the guy’s hand in his tight and jerked him close.
“Hey –“ Walt said, his smile fading.
“You’re a friend of Will’s aren’t you?” Steve whispered.
He may have lost the basketball championship, but wrestling was another story. Steve took advantage of the guy’s surprise, spun him around, until Steve’s arm was wrapped around the guy’s neck and then spun him again.
“Say hi to his big brother,” Steve growled in his ear.
Steve had been worried that Jonathan would feel bad about beating the shit out of a guy that Steve held down, but the worry was unfounded.
Jonathan punched him in the stomach and then kneed him in the face. The guy gasped and dropped in Steve’s hold.
“Let him go,” Jonathan said.
“Hey!” Mr. Morrison said.
Steve dropped Walt. Eddie was holding Mr. Morrison back and Nancy had picked up a wrench as big as her and was holding it menacingly at some of the men that were trying to get to Walt.
“Go with Robin,” Steve said and pulled Eddie away.
“What the hell are you doing-“ Mr. Morrison said and grabbed Steve by his jacket.
“Let me go,” Steve hissed and Mr. Morrison’s eyes widened. Maybe he remembered all the stories of what they had done, the five of them, to the monsters down there. Maybe Steve was just a lot stronger than he looked.
Instead, Steve got in Morrison’s face.
“If I find out that you had an inkling of what he was doing, what he was like, then it’ll be your ass on the line,” Steve said, and Morrison took a couple steps back.
“What – what’s going on?” Morrison asked.
Steve turned from him back to his friends, just in time to see Nancy swing that giant wrench at a guy and land a satisfying hit.
It wasn’t a shotgun, but it would do.
“Let him go, and we won’t call the cops,” another guy was telling Robin, leaning into her space, trying to crowd her and intimidate her into cowing.
“Call the cops,” Robin said and grinned. “Go ahead. Run along and call them.”
The guy reached out, maybe to push her aside, or maybe to just grab her arm, but he didn’t get that far.
Eddie’s hand smashed into the guy’s face and another guy grabbed Eddie by the hair.
“What the fuck –“ Eddie squawked, and he spun, punched the guy who had him by the hair.
The guy in front of Robin turned back to them and Steve was surprised by the amount of fight in Eddie, and so was the guy who had him by the hair.
The first guy shoved Robin aside and Steve didn’t wait. He punched him in the face and too late, he realized he was still wearing Eddie’s rings.
Fucking hell, it hurt, but the guy’s nose was smashed and torn apart and he screamed and fell to the ground.
It devolved from there.
Robin and Nancy were shoved out of the melee by Eddie, whose mouth was bloody and he was laughing. Mr. Morrison kept the girls out of it and before long, the red and blue lights showed up.
***
Eddie, Jonathan, Steve, Nancy, and Robin all sat on ugly, orange plastic chairs in the sheriff’s station.
It was mostly empty, only two desks occupying the large open area. Outside, the snow drifted to the ground.
Steve had his head tipped back; a wad of tissues pressed to his nose. He and Eddie were covered in mud. Joyce had given Eddie an ice pack for his cheek and eye. Jonathan’s hair was a little mussed and his lip had a small cut, but other than that, he was perfectly fine. He barely had any mud on him, Eddie noted.
Nancy’s hand was currently being bandaged by Dr. Owens and Joyce was applying butterfly bandages to Robin’s eyebrow.
Walter Pierce was in the hospital.
Jonathan did most of the damage but Steve and Eddie got a few good kicks in too before they were pulled off the guy by his co-workers.
No one spoke.
There was no one else in the sheriff’s office.
Steve could hear Mr. Morrison yelling at Hop, the threats of suing, of bad press, on and on it went.
“Steve,” Jonathan whispered.
Steve turned his head, still tipped back, in Jonathan’s direction. “Yeah, buddy?”
Eddie wanted to laugh.
“I need you to talk to Hop about this,” he said, still whispering, but his voice shook.
“No problem,” Steve said, his voice nasally high from the tissues.
Eddie understood that; Jonathan was barely hanging on by a thread, the beat down only serving as an appetizer for all the things running through Eddie’s head and Will wasn’t even his own baby brother.
Steve could pretend to be civil a lot longer than the rest of them, with the exception of Nancy.
But Nancy wasn’t looking like she was in a civil mood. Her mouth was pinched, and her eyes were narrowed at some distant place. With the way she looked right now, she might swing on Hop if he said the wrong thing.
“I’m going to want you to come down for some x-rays, Ms. Wheeler,” Dr. Owens said. He pressed his lips together and taped the bandages together. “Can I ask how you did this?”
“I punched a guy in the jaw,” Nancy answered. She kept her eyes straight in front of her. “I think I broke it.”
“Maybe a few bones, but nothing –“
“No, the guy’s jaw,” Nancy said.
“Oh,” Dr. Owens said quietly. Eddie watched his fingers pause for a moment, but having seen them during stranger circumstances, he continued wrapping her hand.
“I wish you kids had come to us. We could have done something. Hop could have done something,” Joyce said.
They hadn’t told her why they didn’t go to them. Eddie and Steve exchanged a look.
“Hopper would have killed him,” Jonathan said.
Before Joyce could reply, the voices grew louder and Hopper led Mr. Morrison into the sheriff’s station.
“I want them all locked up –“ Mr. Morrison said.
Steve stood up. He dropped the tissues into a bin and grabbed a few more before gently pressing them to his nose again, making sure the bleeding had stopped.
Mr. Morrison was still talking but Eddie stopped listening, watched Steve instead, the way he held himself carefully taut, moving slowly because someone had punched him in the ribs and now it hurt him to breathe. He glanced at Eddie for a second and then gathered himself, turned to Hop and Morrison.
“Hopper isn’t going to do anything like that,” Steve said.
Hopper turned to him, furious, face red. “Give me one good reason why not, Harrington.”
Hopper didn’t call Steve champ like he usually did. Not when he was this angry.
“And you, Mr. Morrison, are going to fire Walt. You’re going to do it right away, before I make your life a whole lot harder,” Steve said.
“Explain yourself before I lock you up just for pissing me off,” Hopper said.
“Did you see them? Walt? Did you see them together and purposely not think about it? Did you ignore it? I wonder how many times you’ve ignored it. I wonder if there are others,” Steve said. He ignored Hop and his face went redder, and Eddie worried for his blood pressure.
“If there are others and there is any indication that you knew, you would be culpable,” Nancy added.
Hopper’s gaze narrowed and he looked at the five of them and back to Morrison before he took a step away from him. Dawning realization didn’t look as good on Hop as it did on Nance, but it was a point in their favor.
It was easy enough to put together; how Steve, Dustin, and Jonathan left the house earlier that day, how upset Will had been, how it had seemed more than just a fight with Will.
“Not just you, but you and your company. I want him fired right now. Right now. And if you –“ Steve went on, cold and arrogant and he got so close to Morrison, he had to look down at him.
“Who the hell do you think you are, some snot nose, rich kid, ordering me around? This is my company and I say who works for me and who doesn’t,” Mr. Morrison said and poked Steve in the chest.
Eddie stood up, but Joyce and Robin grabbed him.
Steve rocked back, he let himself be moved, and he nodded. He tipped his head to Hopper. “Did you hear what he called me? Harrington. Is that name familiar?”
Morrison’s face went pale.
Steve waited a beat and inhaled. “Samuel Harrington and Sons Construction. Samuel was my grandfather. My dad and my uncle, they run the company now. Me and my dad aren’t what you would call close. But he would listen to me, especially on this.”
“You are messing with a man’s livelihood, boy, you might want to watch yourself,” Morrison said, gathering himself.
“You might not want to threaten a sitting Congresswoman’s only son,” Steve said, his voice soft.
“Oh shit,” Eddie said out loud. He had completely forgotten about it. It was easy to do when Steve refused to use his mom’s political power unless he had to.
Morrison stared at Steve and Steve didn’t move. Eddie was glad he wasn’t on the receiving end of Steve’s look.
“I can keep going. I’ll blacklist your company. My dad owes me that much. I’ll have you arrested on federal charges. My mom takes me a lot more seriously these days. Or,” Steve paused, “you could fire Walt yourself.”
There was a beat and Eddie saw the defeat in Morrison’s eyes before he admitted it. He took one step back from Steve, then two more. He remembered to glare, finally, and looked at Hopper.
“You keep your people clear of mine, Chief!” Morrison said.
“If any of them look at him again, I won’t be borrowing one of your wrenches, Mr. Morrison. I’ll come with my shotgun,” Nancy said.
“Make your own coffee!” Robin shouted at his retreating back before Morrison slammed the door.
Dr. Owens and Joyce turned to them. Hopper looked down at the ground.
“What is going on?” Joyce asked.
No one wanted to speak. Eddie could see how exhausted Steve was and Robin had started wiping tears off her face a few minutes ago. Nancy was pale and cradling her hand, the pain apparently just now letting itself be known. Jonathan was looking down, clenching his hands together.
Steve turned and he looked down. He took a deep breath.
Eddie cleared his throat. Joyce and Hopper looked at him. Eddie hated the look on Hopper’s face because it was so close to the defeat Morrison had on his own only a few minutes earlier.
Like Hop had failed somehow.
But no one sees people like this coming, Eddie knew that better than most.
“That guy. Walt. He has been talking to Will. They’ve hung out a few times and the last time –“ Eddie stopped when Joyce inhaled sharply and reached out for something to hold onto. Her hand landed on Steve’s shoulder and he put his hand over hers.
“Will told Steve before it got… bad. This was bad enough, don’t get me wrong, but it could have gone further. It could have been worse,” Eddie said quietly.
Joyce’s eyes filled with tears and she shook her head. “Why didn’t he come to me? To Jonathan?”
“It’s not you guys. He’s – this is new territory for you guys. He’s scared and looking for a person all his own. He doesn’t have an example for that and this guy was there,” Eddie said. His voice shook a little and Steve looked over at him. “It has nothing to do with you. You didn’t do anything wrong, you didn’t raise him wrong, but there’s some stuff that you can’t really ask your mom about, no matter how understanding she is. And when you’re – when you’re in Will’s situation, and you think you’re all alone, the first friendly face, the first easy acceptance, that’s like breathing for the first time. It’s not you. It’s not him. It’s that guy we put in the hospital. Okay?”
Joyce nodded. She sniffed and Dr. Owens handed her a tissue. “Is he okay?”
“Right now? No. He’s pissed off at the whole world. As he should be,” Steve said.
“And let him be. Don’t try and tell him it’s all right, because it’s not. Let him be angry and then let him work through it. He’s the toughest person I know, and he’ll be okay. And if punches Mike, then maybe that’s not the worst thing to happen either,” Eddie said.
“If he won’t, I will,” Nancy muttered.
“After we get that hand looked at. Come on, Ms. Wheeler. Ms. Buckley, I want to get a closer look at your head. You too, let’s go,” Dr. Owens said and gestured at the door for the two of them to follow him.
Nancy and Robin followed him out and he promised to drop them off later.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Hopper asked. He looked pained and Eddie did not want to know what was running through his head.
“Because you would have put him in cuffs and took him out to the woods and shot him and buried him,” Steve said.
Hopper stared at him.
Steve shrugged. “That’s what I would have done if I were Chief. I thought about it anyway. I probably would have, if it wouldn’t have gotten Dustin in trouble.”
Hopper sighed and hung his head. Eddie noticed that he didn’t say that Steve was wrong.
“I’m going to the hospital. This guy is going to be pissed after he gets fired and pissed off people want to press charges and I think I should speak to him about that. Let him know whose kid Will is,” Hopper said.
“Jim –“ Joyce said.
“I won’t touch him, I swear. I swear, Joyce. I’m just going to talk to him,” Hopper said and he backed out of the station.
Eddie didn’t believe that man for a second.
“Come on,” Joyce said gently to Jonathan. “I’ll get you an ice cream cone on the way home.”
Jonathan laughed and wiped his face. “Like when I fought Tommy H in seventh grade and kicked his ass?”
“Exactly,” Joyce said and they shared a smile.
Eddie wondered what that would be like, to have a parent that was in your corner, that was telling the whole world to fuck off because this was her kid and she was going to be there for him no matter what.
If he ever had kids, whatever way they came to him, Eddie swore he would do that for them, be that for them.
Jonathan stood up and paused before he followed his mom out. He finally looked up, but instead of Steve, he looked Eddie in the eye.
“I know – I mean, I can guess what this cost you. And thank you. I just – yeah. Thanks,” Jonathan said.
“It didn’t cost me a damn thing, man. It was fucking cathartic,” Eddie said and patted him on the shoulder.
Jonathan didn’t say anything to Steve but he did hug him on the way out. Steve hid his wince over Jonathan’s shoulder.
They stood shoulder to shoulder until Jonathan and Joyce left the station and then Steve sagged into Eddie. Eddie staggered a little under his weight, but Steve didn’t notice or didn’t care.
“All right sweetness, let’s go –“ Eddie said.
“Not that one,” Steve said, his voice a little hard.
“Huh?” Eddie said, confused and he pulled a step back at the sound of Steve’s voice. That was a tone he hadn’t heard since the King Steve days.
“That name – not that one. Okay?” Steve asked and his voice tilted up a little on the end of that last word, begging Eddie to understand.
It was the closest they had come to addressing the many names Eddie used on Steve, and it wasn’t even saying much.
Just not that one.
Eddie held his hands up, like he had just done a magic trick and was showing the audience that there is nothing to see here, folks, don’t look at the guy who is trying not to be hurt over this little comment. Nothing at all, folks, not a damn thing to see here.
“All right. That one is stricken from the record, Your Honor. Any other names I shouldn’t use?” Eddie asked.
Steve looked a little lost, like he had just woken up. He glanced around the empty station. “No. Just not that one.”
“Gotcha. Want to give me a ride back to mine?” Eddie said. He felt like a little kid who had just gotten his hand slapped for some unknown reason.
“You aren’t coming back with me?” Steve asked and frowned.
Eddie was going to have whiplash from this conversation.
“I can go back with you,” Eddie said.
They walked out to Steve’s car, and Eddie drove them home.
***
Meeting Grounds was conspicuously slow the next morning. Steve pressed his hip against the cash register and made a necklace out of paperclips for Robin.
“Do you think we’ll have to close?” Robin asked.
“Nah,” Steve said.
Robin gave him a hard look.
Steve shrugged. “I don’t. Once people start coming back, we’ll be able to replace the ones we lost from the construction guys. And it’s not like we could have counted on them forever, anyway. They are eventually going to finish their jobs here and move on to the next place.”
Robin hummed and shrugged.
They both turned and jumped when the front door was thrown open and Eddie laughed at them both.
“You two are jumpy,” he said as he pulled his apron on. He took the headset off Steve’s head and went to the espresso machine closest to the drive thru.
Before either of them could answer, they heard voices from the parking lot. There were six vehicles in the lot and it seemed like the guys from four of them were facing off against the remaining two.
Steve kept glancing between Eddie’s newest concoction and the potential violence in their parking lot. This drink seemed to have more caramel and whipped cream than coffee. He knew the disgust was evident on his face, because Eddie looked gleeful.
“Try?” Eddie said and offered it to Steve.
“That looks disgusting,” Steve muttered and took the drink from his hand. He took a drink and frowned. He glanced at the cup, hoping Eddie had written this recipe down. No such luck, but Steve took another drink.
“Not bad,” Steve admitted, just like he did every morning.
Eddie had accidentally created their drinks more often than not.
“Look at this,” Robin said and nudged Eddie.
The guys outside were chest to chest now and one of them, who looked like Walter Pierce if his face wasn’t mangled and he didn’t have a moustache, was facing down against a much larger Hispanic man.
“Do you think he’s related to the other guy?” Eddie asked.
“Dustin said he had a half-brother on the job site, so maybe,” Steve said.
They watched the Hispanic guy shove the other guy hard, hard enough to send him stumbling back where he tripped over something and fell against a company truck.
The big guy addressed the group at large before spitting on the other guy at his feet.
“Damn,” Eddie and Robin said.
“That guy gets his order for free,” Steve said as he turned for the shop.
The group that had been on his side followed him.
The bell jingled over the door when it was pushed open and Robin grinned brightly at them. “Welcome in!”
The large man, clearly the leader of the group, marched up to the cash register. He was still glaring until he saw the bandage over Robin’s eyebrow. That softened him somehow.
“We heard about what happened,” the guy said. Steve slid up next to Robin. He knew he looked terrible; his nose was still swollen despite all the ice he and Eddie had used on it the day before. And his black eye was one for the books.
Martinez, his shirt said.
“Who –?” Martinez said and gestured to Robin’s eyebrow.
“We didn’t get names, sadly,” Robin said and clucked her tongue. She gave the man a smile so he knew she was teasing him a little. “I’m okay. Doc Owens fixed me and Nancy up just fine.”
“Well your boyfriend didn’t fare much better,” Martinez said and looked over at Steve.
“He’s not my boyfriend,” Robin said.
Steve nodded when Martinez looked over at him. “I’m not.”
“No worries, gentlemen, we have fought worse than a pervert. What can we get you?” Robin asked.
Martinez winced. “We wanted to apologize for what happened. We try to take care of our own, including shit like that, and we didn’t know –“
“It’s not your fault. People really need to stop taking the blame for this guy,” Eddie said from the drive-thru, where he was leaning back precariously on a stool.
Martinez looked back at him and nodded. “You’re right. You guys fucked him up, and rightly so.”
Steve gave him a smile. “And thanks. For sticking up for us out there.”
Martinez glanced at the parking lot where it was only four trucks now. “Yeah, well, that’s his older brother. He was telling guys that you were closed and that we shouldn’t be off-site anyway. I told him when he starts paying my salary, he can tell me what to do when I’m not on the clock. He’s got a mouth on him.”
They started ordering but Robin refused to ring them up.
It resulted in a truly impressive staring contest between Martinez and Robin.
“Hey,” a small guy said from Martinez. The guy pulled a twenty out of his wallet and stuffed it in the tip jar. “They can’t stop us from tipping.”
Martinez chuckled and pulled out his wallet. “You’re right. They can’t.”
Steve shook his head as he worked the espresso machine.
***
“Are your parents coming back?” Nancy asked.
Steve was cleaning out some crap he had accumulated in his house and he had found a new calendar for the upcoming year. He flipped through it and marked the grand re-opening of Hawkins in red.
April fifteenth.
“Why? You want another conversation with my dad about how women shouldn’t work outside the home as he tries his hardest to ignore how his wife does that very thing?” Steve asked.
Nancy was curled up on the couch. She smiled up at him and the soft lights behind her and the off white sweater she wore combined for a very romantic setting.
Too bad Steve didn’t feel anything close to that.
“No. I’m just wondering. On your behalf,” she crossed her arms over the arm of the couch and gazed up at him, not letting him avoid the question.
Jonathan and Argyle had taken the kids sledding and Robin and Eddie had been dragged along. The only reason Steve had gotten out of it was because he had a dentist appointment that afternoon and Nancy didn’t want to go.
Now they were just waiting for them to come back.
“They’ll be back for a few days, just to close up on the state buying their lot back, for the congresswoman to welcome everyone back, and to take their picture at their son’s coffee shop in the town he helped to save. I am very good PR for her reelection. Then they’ll scurry back to Indy. That’s where they want to be, anyway,” Steve said.
“Do you miss them?” Nancy asked.
“Nah,” Steve said and shook his head. He wandered over to the tree and took a candy cane off a branch.
“What are you going to do next year when Robin and I leave?” Nancy asked.
Steve flopped down on the couch and looked over at her. “What’s with all the questions, Nance?”
Nancy blushed and pressed her lips together, like she was trying to keep a secret for herself. She shook her head and turned to him. “I’m just worried for you, is all. Pretty soon we’re all going to be scattered across the country and you already made it clear that you don’t want to go to college, so I just –“
She raised her hands, her fingers spread out, like she was trying to offer him something that wasn’t hers to give.
“Hey, if nothing else, I’ll have the coffee shop. I don’t know what I want to do. Everything that happened kind of turned all that on its head, you know?” Steve said.
“Yeah, but –“ Nancy closed her hands and put her fists to her acid washed jeans, and Steve wanted to laugh at how little her feet were, tucked underneath her. “But I don’t want you to get lost out there. The world’s a big place.”
“Like Eddie would let me. If I don’t talk to him once a day, he comes around looking for me,” Steve said, a little annoyed but mostly fond.
Nancy was giving him one of Those Looks and she nodded. “I know. We all know what he’s like. I just…”
Her eyes went unfocused as she looked at the tree and the golden light reflected back in them and Steve remembered a much younger version of himself thinking he could drown in her.
That was the problem. He could and he did. That’s not what Nancy needed. She needed someone who could fight against the natural riptide of her personality, someone to call her out on her shit, someone who wasn’t scared of her.
“You what?” Steve prompted her.
“I just worry is all,” Nancy finally finished.
That wasn’t what she was going to say, but Steve didn’t have her tenacity and he let it go.
“We want you to be happy is all. Whatever that looks like to you, with whoever that is for you,” Nancy said.
“I know,” Steve said.
Nancy stared at him and he could see that she didn’t think he did know. Headlights flooded the living room and there were shouts from the front yard, laughter that flooded the whole neighborhood.
"Just remember that," Nancy said.
And Steve almost lost her words from the way Eddie threw the door open with a shout, snowflakes in his hair, his cheeks red, and a grin on his lips.
He dove for Steve and shoved his ice cold hands up Steve’s shirt and Steve screamed and he almost completely forgot about the conversation they had just had.
***
“Babe?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I hold your hand?”
Steve gave Eddie his hand.
Eddie pressed his palm to Steve’s and held on tight.
It was two days before Christmas and they were sharing a joint under Steve’s Christmas tree.
Steve hadn’t wanted to - well that was a lie.
He had wanted to, this had even been his idea, but he didn’t want Eddie to have a bad trip like he did the first time he had tried to smoke after getting out of the Upside Down. He had only mentioned it to Robin, hoping she wouldn’t say anything, but why did he ever hope that? He should know better by now.
“You good?” Steve asked and squeezed Eddie’s hand. He felt relaxed, like he was laying out in the backyard, but it was warm here and the feel of Eddie’s hand in his was steadying.
“Yeah. I think it helps to know you’re here,” Eddie said.
Steve chuckled and he thought about it echoing back to him down a long, dark cave.
Weird. He had weird thoughts when he got high.
“Where else would I be?” Steve asked. “Besides, you didn’t have to do this with me. I know what it cost you.”
I can guess what this cost you.
It didn’t cost me a damn thing, man. It was fucking cathartic.
They had fallen silent when Steve recalled that one bit of conversation between Eddie and Jonathan in the sheriff’s station after the whole fiasco with Walt Pierce.
Steve had meant to ask Eddie about it that day, but his ribs were bruised and Dr. Owens gave him some painkillers and this was the first time he had recalled that exchange.
“Eddie?” Steve asked.
The lights above them were twinkling; red, green, blue, white, blinking, but this time they weren’t spelling anything out.
“Yeah?” Eddie said.
“After the whole thing with Pierce, when we were in the station, you and Jonathan – I mean Jonathan said –“
Do I want to know?
Suddenly Steve was unsure of himself.
“Ah,” Eddie said. Steve thought he nodded, but he didn’t turn to face him, so he wasn’t sure. “You caught that.”
“Yeah,” Steve said.
Eddie took a deep breath and Steve remembered praying to feel that very motion when they were in the Upside Down and he could have sworn Eddie was gone.
“It was a long time ago. Before I moved here,” Eddie said.
“You don’t have to. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to tell me anything at all,” Steve said and brought their hands up in front of his face and adjusted the hold he had on Eddie. Their fingers were laced together and Steve liked it better this way. He stretched Eddie’s arm out and laid it across his chest, cradled close to him.
“I know that. And before everything happened, I would have told you to go fuck yourself, it’s none of your goddamn business,” Eddie said.
“What’s changed?” Steve asked.
“Just a few things. Everything,” Eddie said.
They fell silent again. Steve decided not to push him.
“I was younger than Will. And this… person. They were a substitute teacher at my old school. They took an interest in me and I thought, finally, someone sees me. And…” Eddie shook his head.
“I’m sorry,” Steve said.
“It went further than it did for Will. I didn’t have family like I do here. There wasn’t anyone there to look at me and say, hey, this shouldn’t be happening. After that, I started acting out. I did anything and everything to get suspended from school. And my mom couldn’t handle it. She almost lost her job because they called her about me so much,” Eddie said.
Steve rolled over and looked at him. “We could go back. I don’t mind some jail time.”
Eddie chuckled, took a long drag, watched the smoke escape up the branches. “Nah. I’m getting past it. Working through it, all that shit. Putting Pierce in the hospital helped a lot.”
They fell silent again, but Steve wasn’t watching the lights in the tree anymore. He was studying Eddie’s profile, the curve of his jaw, the line of his neck.
“What are you doing?” Eddie asked without looking over at Steve.
“Looking,” Steve said.
“Yeah, babe. But I think we are crossing the border into staring,” Eddie said.
“Is it weird?” Steve whispered.
He felt strangely whole, like being here, holding Eddie’s hand to his chest, studying him, filled some deep ache inside of him. An ache he had lived with for so long, he hadn’t even realized the pain of it until it was filled.
“No,” Eddie finally said and he smiled up at the lights. He closed his eyes. “No, it’s good.”
Steve realized he could feel his heartbeat through Eddie’s hand and he liked that thought; his heart beating through Eddie, reminding them both how wildly and stupidly alive they were.
Steve pulled Eddie’s hand away from his chest, studied it. He pulled one ring off, put it on his left hand. And another. And one more, till Eddie’s hands were bare and Steve pressed his own fingertips against Eddie’s fingers where the skin was lighter. The rings had shielded his skin from the sun.
He used one hand to press against Eddie’s hand and Eddie pressed back. He tried to lace their fingers together but Steve stopped him.
“No, like this,” Steve whispered, so that their hands were mirror images of each other.
He traced the tendons in Eddie’s hands, and then the swoop from his index finger down to his thumb. For a brief second, he thought about biting down on his hand right there, and how it had the same shape of an orange slice cut during the summertime and would Eddie taste just as sweet? Or would he be like the blueberries that Steve could never tell if they were tart or sugary, always a surprise?
“Hey,” Eddie said.
Steve turned to him and wondered if Eddie would let him drown in his eyes or if he would toss him a lifejacket. Maybe he would drown with Steve, and there was a comfort in that.
“That same day, at the sheriff’s station,” Eddie said.
Steve nodded and laced their fingers together again, laid Eddie’s arm across his chest.
“I called you sweetness and you said that I couldn’t call you that one. Why not? I mean, of all the things that I do call you, that one… why not that one?” Eddie whispered.
Steve closed his eyes and he could smell the jasmine of Yesenia’s perfume, her lilting voice as she sang him lullabies in Spanish.
Arrorró mi niño, arrorró mi sol…
“What – are you singing? What are you singing? Okay, that’s enough weed for you,” Eddie said.
Steve huffed out a laugh. “I had a nanny. Probably from the day I was born until I was about ten years old. She sang me that song. She also called me sweetness. Sweet boy. It just feels like that name belongs to her.”
Eddie went quiet and Steve opened his eyes and looked at him. He was smiling but he looked so sad.
“That’s sweet. How did it go?” Eddie asked.
Steve sang what he knew, halting and butchering the Spanish.
Eddie shook his head. “You can do a lot of stuff, but singing is not one of those things.”
“That’s okay. You got me covered,” Steve said.
Eddie’s eyes were soft and he nodded. “Yeah. I got you.”
***
They would get some looks when they were out in public. When Eddie forgot himself and called Steve darling when they were at the movies. Or called him sweetheart in the music store.
Or called him babe in front of Mike.
That had been a tricky one.
They were at Joyce’s house for Will’s birthday. Steve got up from the table and held his beer up at Jonathan and Hop, a wordless offer.
“Get me one too, babe,” Eddie said. He was on the other side of Robin and he was refereeing an argument between Robin and Nancy.
Steve nodded and turned to the kitchen before he registered how quiet it had gotten when Mike squawked.
“What – what did you just call Harrington?” Mike said.
“Same thing he’s been calling him for months now, idiot. Keep up,” Hopper said and dealt the cards out to everyone who was playing penny poker around him.
“Does the world even exist to you?” Lucas asked.
Things between the boys were still strained and Steve looked over his shoulder at Mike who was staring at Steve, open mouthed.
Steve shook his head at Mike and pushed through the doors to the kitchen.
A second later, the door swung open and Steve didn’t bother to look over his shoulder before he started talking.
“Mike, I’m not in the mood to talk –”
“Are you guys together?” Will whispered.
Steve almost dropped the beer in his hand when he whirled around.
Okay, listen. Listen. It’s not like the image escaped Steve. It hadn’t. He knew what it looked like, but sometime after he was almost a swarm of demobats own personal buffet table, he forgot how to care what people thought. Especially the ones that he didn’t care about.
And he understood what it looked like. Steve and Eddie were always together, even when they didn’t have to be. They watched movies together with their legs thrown over each other. When they were alone, Eddie held his hand. Steve was pushing Eddie’s hair out of his face more and more since the spring winds were moving in.
But they weren’t together. Not the way Will wanted to be together with Christian Slater.
They were just…
Steve didn’t know what they “just” were. Eddie was his best friend, Steve’s day wasn’t complete without talking to him, they made vague plans to travel once the kids were in college…
(So if Eddie were a girl, you would be picking out a ring. Do you want to pick out a ring for Eddie? Do you want to take one of his? Oh, wait, you already have one on your hand. He has your old letterman jacket. If he was a girl, you would be The Couple of Hawkins –
But he’s not a girl.
How much does that matter?)
“Okay, whoa,” Will whispered and took the bottles out of Steve’s hand. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to ambush you like that.”
The room was spinning a little bit and it wasn’t because of the one bottle of beer Steve had. He clutched the countertop and inhaled sharply. He looked over at Will.
“How the fuck –“ he demanded harshly and forced himself to breathe again.
Will put the bottles on the counter by Steve and took a step back. He faced Steve and studied his face. “It’s all over you. I mean, it’s all over Eddie, but he’s never been the kind of person to hide that stuff. He’s just out there, you know?”
“No, Eddie is – I mean –“ Steve’s words were tumbling over each other and he shook his head. No. He hadn’t seen Eddie with a girl, not once.
“But I –“
(How much does it matter to you?)
Who was this traitorous voice? He was going to kick their ass, whoever they were.
Will watched him closely.
“I’m a goddamn moron,” Steve whispered.
Will shrugged. “It happens.”
“Can you keep this a secret? Just for now. I just have to –“ Steve waved his hands around, like that meant anything.
Will nodded.
They stared at each other. Will, smug. Steve, shocked.
Will laughed. He stopped and covered his mouth before he met Steve’s eyes again and then he started laughing too. Steve laughed too and pretty soon, Will was bent over and Steve was leaning into the counter, his forehead pressed to the cool tile and he gasped. He laughed and he laughed and when he and Will were finally able to catch their breath, Argyle was staring down at them.
“You guys didn’t get into my Purple Palm Tree, did you?” He asked, concerned.
“No,” Will said and shook his head.
“Nah, we wouldn’t do that. Not without you,” Steve added.
“Fair enough,” Argyle said and helped Will up and then Steve. He kept hold of Steve and he looked him in the eye. He smiled, broad and proud. “Good on you, man.”
Steve didn’t want to know how Argyle knew, but he accepted it.
“Thanks,” Steve said.
They went back to the party and something bloomed in Steve’s chest, something sweet and bright and hopeful.
***
Steve forgot how to answer Eddie when he called Steve’s name in the weeks between Christmas and mid-April.
Eddie would rush into Meeting Grounds, late, and call out, “Sorry I’m late, darling!” And Steve would roll his eyes.
When Eleanor and Chuck Thornton came back to town in late January, they had their three-year-old daughter with them. Cassie Thornton became an instant darling of Meeting Grounds.
There was only one problem.
“Hi, honey!” Cassie yelled when her parents brought her in one morning. She was wrapped up in a ski suit, a walking, talking blue marshmallow.
“Cassie, we’ve been over this. That’s Steve. His name is not honey,” Chuck said.
“Ah,” Steve said and clutched his heart. He didn’t know what was going on, but he felt something like the Grinch might have, when his heart grew too big for his chest.
Cassie glared at her father. “Honey.”
“Oh, no,” Steve whispered and clutched Robin. “I think - I think this is it, Robs. She’s going to do what Vecna couldn’t. I have been done in by a toddler.”
“There, there,” Robin said, distracted. She patted his hand and smirked as she got their drinks ready.
“No, sweetheart, his name is Steve,” Eleanor said.
“Hi, honey!” Eddie said and swung in behind the Thorntons.
Chuck and Eleanor sighed.
“Hey, Eddie,” Steve said and straightened up. He grinned and waved.
“Honey!” Cassie yelled.
“Cassie!” Steve replied.
She turned to her father, as though to say, See?
Eleanor and Chuck gave up the fight, it seemed. They came up to the counter where Robin already had Cassie’s hot chocolate ready, and started in on their coffee.
“Sorry, Steve, we tried. She always talks about going to honey’s to get chocolate milk,” Chuck said.
Steve sighed and rang them up. “It’s a lost cause, guys. I guess I need to go change my name on my driver’s license.”
The Thorntons left, with Cassie waving over her dad’s shoulder. “Bye, honey!”
“Bye, Cassie!”
***
Steve was dreading the official return of everyone. Hawkins was filling up slowly, but it was still less than half the population.
April 15th marked the day when everyone would be cleared to return. The night before, Steve was alone in his house, and he was pacing as Legend played in the background.
He had a lot of things on his mind.
Number one was, as usual, Eddie Munson.
Whenever he thought about people returning to Hawkins, he thought of how it might make Eddie an outcast again, how people might treat him, how things would turn out for him.
Steve chewed on his nail and looked at the clock. It was close to eleven, too late to call anyone and have a freak out about Eddie’s well-being. He should be asleep, in anticipation of the crowds the next day at the shop.
But he couldn’t sleep.
He tried.
Then he tried drinking warm milk and that didn’t help either. Now he was just pacing the hall like he did when he had nightmares and he didn’t want to wake Eddie up to talk him down from it.
It was so fucking good, with the majority of the world kept at bay, while they were able to get their heads right here in Hawkins. But now they would have all these questions to answer and how was Eddie supposed to deal with all that shit?
And then there was The Other Thing™. The one thing that he had talked to Will about a few times and he realized something.
Robin.
She was literally right next door.
He glanced at the clock again. Eleven fifteen.
Fuck it.
Steve walked over in his Sasquatch boxers and knocked on her door. She answered almost immediately and he realized he wasn’t the only one having trouble with the return of everyone the next day.
“I need to talk to you,” Steve said.
“My anxiety was already high but now you have pushed it to new limits. Just tell me quick, rip the band-aid off, don’t prolong it,” Robin said and took a deep breath, braced herself.
“I want to be Eddie’s,” Steve said.
Robin stared at him and her eyes went wide when she realized that was the end of the sentence.
“Eddie’s what?” Robin asked.
“Yes.” Steve pushed his way into her house and headed for her bedroom.
“That’s not an answer,” Robin said and watched him climb into her bed.
He pulled the blanket over his head.
“His best friend? His confidant? His, uh, oh god. His boyfriend? His lover? His math tutor?” Robin said.
“Yes,” Steve said, hoarse.
He wanted to be all of it. He wanted to be the one Eddie wanted around no matter what he needed.
Steve wanted to be his emergency contact, the first person he saw in the morning, the last person he saw at night, and he wanted to be the one in the driver’s seat as Eddie toured across the country. He wanted to be his sweetheart, his honey, his babe, his moon, his stars, all of it.
“Oh shit,” Robin said and her voice cracked. She climbed on the bed and slipped under the blanket next to him. The light was still on and it shone dimly through her pale green duvet. “Is he?”
“I don’t know. I barely figured it out a few weeks for myself,” Steve said.
Robin nodded and took his hand. “I’ll kill him.”
Steve let out a sharp laugh. “Why?”
Robin shrugged. “Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? Threaten the person you date? I feel like that’s part of my job as the human closest to you on this planet.”
Steve nodded.
“You should talk to him. Even… Even if he isn’t into you, he won’t do anything about it. It’s not like he’s going to punch you or anything like that,” Robin said.
“I’m scared,” Steve said.
“Damn right. You should be. It’s a scary thing,” Robin said.
“You suck at these pep talks,” Steve said.
“I know,” Robin replied. She held his hand. “I’m still here. No matter what, I’ll be right here.”
That wasn’t nothing. It was more than most people got, if Steve was being honest.
Steve was fine. He just had to remember to breathe. It was nothing, right?
Right.
Totally.
“Stay here. You aren’t going to sleep over there,” Robin said.
“Yeah,” Steve agreed.
Steve closed his eyes. Sleep did not come easily to him.
***
The next morning, Steve was behind the register. He might as well hook up an IV to the espresso machine, with the way he was tossing shots back.
The line was out into the parking lot and the drive-thru lane was no better. It was all hands on deck and Eddie was ten minutes late. The door opened and Steve glanced up. His heart lightened considerably when he saw Eddie pushing his way through people to get to the counter.
“Morning, people!” He called out.
As one, everyone behind the counter turned to him, confused.
Robin shook her head at Eddie, who frowned back, and Steve punched in an order for their next customer and ignored them both. On the bright side, they were going to need a new tip jar in a few minutes, if this kept up.
Steve tried to focus on that and not the way his heart sank all the way to the floor.
Eddie never greeted them all. He called out to Steve, Steve replied, and Eddie got to work.
“Good… morning?” Jonathan finally guessed.
“Milk,” Robin said to Steve and took over the register.
He nodded and turned to the back.
The door opened behind him and Eddie stood there, pulling his heart back. He gave Steve half a smile. “Morning, babe.”
“Hey, Eddie,” he said.
Eddie frowned and studied him. “You okay?”
“Perfect. Why?” Steve said, his heart kicking up several notches that had nothing to do with the espresso he had consumed.
“You look a little off,” Eddie said and looked him up and down.
“Well, you look good enough to eat. Come on, let’s go,” Steve said and left Eddie in the walk in fridge.
***
Eddie liked to give people names because he knew it made people feel special and he wanted to do that for others. He liked the feeling it gave him.
That’s why he did that for Steve. Steve should be someone’s special thing. But he wasn’t. And Eddie knew that bothered him.
But Eddie was never under the assumption that Steve would be his something special. He had been in love with enough straight guys to wish women well on that particular journey.
He had greeted everyone that morning out of a moment of desperation and self-preservation. Who knew what kind of assholes would be in the shop on this day of all days? Eddie was exonerated and a hero, but that didn’t mean that he wouldn’t get his ass beat by a bunch of assholes if he said the wrong thing in front of the wrong person.
You look good enough to eat.
Eddie had turned around a couple times, waiting for the whole world to turn red, for everyone to laugh at him when he came out of the fridge, for Vecna to be the only one out there with an Americano in his hand.
But no.
When he rejoined everyone, they were all working hard, Steve at the register, Robin at the espresso machine next to him. Jonathan and Argyle at the drive-thru, the kids handing out drinks and cleaning up spilled messes. Dustin and Nancy were in the back, talking about inventory and how they would have to go to Muncie sooner than they thought.
“Go help Steve, I have to get the tables,” Robin said and shoved him in Steve’s direction.
Eddie got behind the machine and started at the top of the list of the drinks that were stuck to the board next to the machine. He let his hands take over for him, making the drinks on automatic. He passed them over to Argyle who called them out.
The rhythm took over for Eddie and he almost forgot about what Steve had said in the fridge until he heard a squeal of delight.
“Steve Harrington! Oh my god!” Debbie Donaldson said from the counter.
“Hey,” Steve said, with far less enthusiasm.
“You look good, oh my god, I can’t believe that you stuck around this place,” she went on.
“What can I get you?” Steve said and his eyes flickered to the line behind her.
“Oh! Right. Let me get a medium Roamin Robin, a medium Edgy Eddie, and a large Endless Eleven,” she said.
Debbie lingered by the serving counter, making eyes at Steve and Eddie thought he was going to scream.
You look good enough to eat.
Debbie was pretty in the way that even Eddie could recognize. He wasn’t going to admit it, but he knew.
And Steve was a hero now, they all were, and Eddie also knew that was a huge draw for some people.
Eddie wasn’t going to give it a second thought. Steve deserved a shot at happiness, no matter what that looked like.
***
“Don’t look at the camera, look at your customers. Be as friendly as you can without being overly friendly. Good, Ms. Wheeler, that’s great. Ms. Mayfield, perhaps a little smile? No? Right. Steve, tilt your head up just a smidge… Great!”
The photographer had been in the shop for the last 30 minutes of their day and Steve was pretty sure he was going to scream.
“Thanks, honey,” Cassie Thornton told Steve.
“You’re welcome,” Steve said warmly. There was one more picture of Steve leaning over the counter to hand Cassie her hot chocolate and the cameraman was putting his stuff away. Jonathan took a coffee over to him and they spoke quietly for a moment, probably about dorky photography stuff.
(Jonathan was amazing, an artist in his own way, but if Steve didn’t tell him that it was dorky, he would get a big head and then what would they do? Exactly. Steve had a job and he did it well.)
Everyone had already done a brief pose with Charlotte Harrington in front of Meeting Grounds and now it was time to close up, something he had been dreading for a while now. His dad had a look on his face that said they would be talking and Steve wasn’t going to be persuaded to move out of town, not yet, and it was just one more fight in a long list that he and his father had had.
“Hey, are you going to the thing at Founder’s Park?” Robin asked.
“Yeah. But don’t wait for me, this might take a while,” Steve said.
“You sure?” She asked.
“I’ll be fine. What’s he going to do, swing on one of the Heroes of Hawkins in broad daylight? No, he won’t do anything,” Steve said.
“All right. I’ll catch a ride with Eddie,” Robin said.
Steve nodded and everyone left, leaving him alone with his parents as he started cleaning up.
“What can we do to get you to come with us, Steven?” His dad asked and heaved a sigh. “You don’t want to go to college? Fine, come work with me.”
Steve twisted his mouth and looked out the big glass pane windows.
“Sell your share to your friends, let them take the profit for this place,” Charlotte suggested gently. She was wearing a navy blue pant suit and her makeup and hair were immaculate. They both were like that; living statues that couldn’t be touched.
“We’ll get you your own place, just –“ Benjamin said.
Steve frowned and looked down at his shoes. They didn’t have a uniform here at Meeting Grounds, just that they were clean clothes and shoes didn’t have holes in them. A lot of how this place was run was voted on by the group. Robin, Eddie, and Steve all had the same salary as everyone else there; which wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing.
It was better than living off his parents because when he did that, they got a say in his life and the way they manipulated and directed him might have been safe financially, but he had been miserable.
“Just what?” Steve asked.
“Just come with us,” Benjamin said.
“Why now?” Steve said and finally looked up at his parents.
Charlotte frowned and tilted her head. “What do you mean?”
“You never wanted me to come with you before. I had a nanny when I was young and when you thought I was old enough to take care of myself, you guys left me. Why do you want me to come with you now?” Steve asked.
“Because it’s not safe here,” Charlotte said.
Steve had to laugh at that. It wasn’t even the cruel, mocking laughter that they used to use on him. It was funny, it’s not safe here.
“Like it was safe when I was alone during most of my senior year? What about that year all those teenagers were killed? What about the year that I worked in a mall that blew up while I was in it?” Steve asked and laughed. He shook his head. “It wasn’t real safe back then and you guys never came home, never asked me to go with you.”
He swiped down the counter and tossed the towel over his shoulder. He continued chuckling as he went around to the inventory, made sure they were ready for the next day.
“Do you know how many concussions I had? After this last time, I had to have a brain scan and glasses,” Steve said.
“We knew that,” Benjamin said.
“Because you saw it on the insurance. No other reason,” Steve said. He sighed and turned back around to face them. “I’m not going with you. I’m not going anywhere until I’m good and ready.”
“Steven –“ Charlotte said.
“No,” Steve said and shook his head.
“You are being unreasonable,” Benjamin snapped and took a step forward.
Steve remembered being chased by animals that didn’t have names, being held down by bats that clawed and chewed their way through his flesh. He remembered the second trip, seeing Eddie standing there, grinning and alive.
Benjamin couldn’t scare him anymore.
Steve leaned one hip against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. He studied his dad for a moment. He wasn’t in bad shape, but he wasn’t in fighting shape like Steve was.
Steve wondered if his dad could even take a punch.
It was a nice thought.
“Maybe. But you can’t really tell me what to do anymore. I’ve got my own place, my own money, and a life all my own. What are you guys going to threaten me with now?” Steve asked.
And he realized that’s all it had ever been. Empty threats and emptier promises. There was no way he could have actually made Steve do anything and there wasn’t any way now.
“Your mother is up for reelection and now is not the time to pull this bullshit. Come back with us to Indianapolis and we’ll get you into Bloomington. After reelection, you can fuck off with whatever you want to do with your life,” Benjamin said.
“No,” Steve said.
Benjamin ground his teeth together and crossed the distance between him and the counter and reached across it for Steve’s shirt.
Steve pushed his hand away. “If you put your hands on me, Mom will regret it.”
“Benjamin, stop, there are windows right there,“ Charlotte snapped.
“I love how it’s there are windows right there and not don’t hit our son. Stellar parenting, Mom,” Steve said and rolled his eyes.
This time Benjamin did reach out and he slapped Steve across the face, with an open palm. The sound echoed through the shop and Steve had to look around to make sure it actually happened.
Steve rocked back on his heels, more out of surprise than anything.
“What the fuck?” Mike said from the front door.
Steve looked over at him and Dustin stood there with him, Max and Lucas in the doorway, Will and El behind them.
“Kids –“ Charlotte said, turning on her politician persona and shining smile. “This isn’t what it looks like.”
“Really? Because it looks like Steve’s dad just slapped him,” Dustin said and they all made their way inside.
These kids had been around too many adults who tried to fuck with them too many times and they wouldn’t be easily fooled, not even by a politician.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Benjamin snapped, none of his wife’s charm on his face.
“I think we do,” Lucas said.
“Steven, tell them –“ Charlotte turned around to face Steve and when she saw his face blank and impassive, she became desperate. “Steven, you owe us that much.”
“I really don’t,” Steve said.
“Get out or we’ll make you get out,” Max said, her voice low and shaking with fury. Her hands were clenched at her sides and Steve knew better than to push her right now.
Steve could see how his parents were trying to think of ways out of this, how to buy the kids off, how to do something to make sure that their reputation wouldn’t be ruined the second this story hit the papers.
“You heard her,” Will said.
“He is our son,” Benjamin said.
The chairs in the shop all began to dance back and forth on their legs, and the ground trembled.
Charlotte grabbed Benjamin’s arm and he looked around at them. The kids and Steve weren’t worried, this was El and they all knew it. The same could not be said for Steve’s parents.
“He was never anything to you until you could use him,” Max accused.
“And you hit like some asshole on TV who can’t throw a punch,” Mike added.
Dustin and Lucas turned to look at Mike, but he kept his eyes on Benjamin.
Benjamin seemed to think that was a challenge, but Steve wasn’t going to let him put his hands on anyone else, not even Mike.
“Don’t, don’t touch him. He’s an asshole himself, but he’s our asshole and I will put you in the hospital,” Steve said, casual and untroubled.
“Get out,” El whispered, her soft voice carrying more of a threat than anyone in the shop could. Her glare was a warning and Charlotte and Benjamin left.
Steve wondered if that was it, if that was the last time he would see his parents. It felt like it was.
God, he was tired.
“Steve?” Dustin said.
“I’m okay. Are you kidding? That guy compared to a single bat? Not even a comparison. Let’s go,” Steve said and grabbed his jacket from the hanger by the door and ushered everyone out.
They all piled in his car, but kept glancing over at him, like they were afraid he might have a breakdown any second.
***
Founders Park was packed with more people than Eddie thought lived in Hawkins even before it was almost pulled down to hell.
He had lost Robin moments earlier when she saw some of her old bandmates and got pulled into a discussion about something that didn’t include Eddie.
Which wasn’t unusual. He wasn’t being chased with pitchforks, but there wasn’t a welcome wagon either.
He sighed and turned away from the wall that had everyone’s name who had died carved into it. He didn’t know how long he had spent staring at Chrissy Cunningham’s name, but he was sure it wasn’t long enough. She had been a sweet girl, too sweet for this world apparently.
“Munson!” He heard and turned around.
Gareth, Jeff, and Frankie all stood there, waving. His friends. The ones he had before he had found a family.
“Hey!” He said and went over to them. They greeted each other with pats on the back and then their eyes went comically wide when a shadow fell over Eddie.
Hop put his hands on Eddie’s shoulders. “Hey, Eddie. Where’s Steve?”
“I don’t know. He stayed behind to talk to his parents. Why?” Eddie asked, confused. He looked up at Hop.
“People have been giving you looks. You noticed?” Hop asked.
“They always do,” Eddie said and rolled his eyes.
“Yeah, but it looks like it’s Carver’s old crew. Just… maybe stay with Steve, okay?” Hop said.
“Sure,” Eddie lied.
He had no intention of finding Steve, not after that morning. How would he broach that subject? What would he even say? No. Nope. He would just… Hide?
At work? During movie nights?
“Harrington?” Gareth hissed as soon as Hopper walked away.
Eddie blinked. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, Harrington. He’s a pretty cool dude, actually.”
“That’s not what you said when he had his buddies give Martin a swirlie that one time,” Jeff pointed out.
“Yeah, well alternate dimensions and near-death experiences, or in my experience, actual death experiences, have a way putting the world into a different kind of perspective. Really, if I see him around, I’ll introduce you guys. He’s cool,” Eddie promised.
The other three did not look convinced but they didn’t push the subject either.
“Bro!” Argyle shouted and raised his hand. He had a turkey leg in his other hand. He made his way through the crowd, getting more than a few looks of his own.
Eddie introduced them and pretty soon it was like Eddie didn’t exist. Gareth glanced over at him a few times, just to make sure Eddie was present and accounted for and he was-
But it was different. Not bad, but it was that saying, you can never go home again. It made so much sense to Eddie right then, because it never had before. It wasn’t home that changed (although in this case it had, but only because half of Hawkins had been pulled into the Upside Down and had to be rebuilt but that wasn’t the point). It was Eddie. He had changed so deeply that he wasn’t sure he could even find a home again.
“Eddie!”
He turned and he saw the kids, all six of them, gathered around Steve who looked a little worse for wear after their morning.
Steve was smiling and he was talking to Will and El about something, like he was reassuring them, but then Mike interrupted. Mike was pointing to the coffee shop and then back to Steve, and then he spread his hands wide, like he was talking about the entire town.
Mike was pissed.
Dustin, Will, and El stood next to Mike and they all seemed… to be agreeing with him?
Max stood next to Steve, and she seemed to be the only one on his side. She was shaking her head at something and Steve said something and Mike snapped back.
“You don’t get it!” Max yelled and several people turned to look at them. She glared at Mike once more and started to pull Steve away.
Before he turned away completely, he looked up and his gaze landed on Eddie. Something like relief crossed his face and that shouldn’t have made Eddie rethink the idea of home and what it truly was and where he could find it, especially as a smile grew on Steve’s face –
Debbie Donaldson squealed behind Eddie and brushed past him, ran for Steve, and threw herself at him. He stumbled under her weight, not that it was that much, but –
“Eddie!” Steve called out, but Eddie was already backing away, his face bright red at the thought that Steve could have looked like that just because he saw Eddie.
“Wait, Eddie!”
Eddie laughed at himself, continued to back away. “I’ll see ya around, Harrington. Nice saving the world with you!”
He turned and pushed his way through the crowd of people that had started gathering around them, that wanted to talk to both of them, people that hated Eddie and always seemed to need him. He would deal with this later. Much later.
Right now, he was going to buy a six-pack and not think about Debbie in Steve’s arms. Because he was an idiot, this wasn’t a movie, this was something else. The good guy got the girl and the funny sidekick, they got…
He didn’t know what the sidekick ended up with.
Eddie didn’t finish that thought. He sighed and didn’t look back, not even when he thought he heard his name called.
***
Harrington.
He hadn’t even called Steve Steve. He had called him Harrington, like they were just passersby in the hallway at school; on good enough terms that Eddie wouldn’t end up under Tommy H.’s angry fists, but not good enough for much else.
Like Steve wasn’t good enough for much else.
“What are you doing tonight?” Debbie asked, turning his attention back to her.
“Uh –“ Steve blinked and all he could smell was Aqua Net and bubblegum and all he could see was Eddie’s back, disappearing between the people that were shifting between them. He had seen Eddie, not Debbie and he had meant to call to him. He kept thinking about what he had said that morning –
You look good enough to eat
- and how Eddie had blushed and stammered and spent three full minutes alone in the fridge before coming back out. He wanted to talk to Eddie and just tell him and now was as good a time as any, right?
“We should get out of here. Let’s go to Skull Rock and you can tell me all about what you guys did!” Debbie gasped. She glanced over to her left and giggled.
“Oh –“ Steve said and frowned. He didn’t feel great, not after everything that had happened in the coffee shop and not after what had just happened with Mike and the other kids.
“Come on, let’s go,” Debbie said and tugged on his hand. Then he realized she was practically jerking him along the new pathway and for one terrible second he wondered if Walter Pierce had helped pour this concrete and what other parts of town he had touched and what other people he had tried to ruin and he felt like screaming.
Steve planted his feet and he looked around. Debbie drew to a stop and there was that weird look, like she was making sure there was someone watching her. What the fuck was that about?
“Come on,” she urged him and for the first time, Steve noticed the desperation in her voice and in her stare and he looked behind himself to where she was staring.
Andy was standing there, pretending not to look at Steve and Debbie, but he hadn’t turned his head away fast enough.
Steve didn’t want to know what was going on. He couldn’t deal with this bullshit on top of everything he had been through.
Steve turned back to Debbie and jerked his hand out of hers. “What is wrong with you people?”
Debbie swallowed and Steve backed away from her and shook his head.
“You’re the one who’s fucked up,” she said, her attitude doing a 180. Now she was glaring at him and he could only guess what she actually thought of him.
“Yeah, maybe, but I have an excuse. What happened to you?” Steve asked.
“Fuck you, Steve. Two years ago you wouldn’t have given me two looks and now look at you, you’re practically begging for it,” Debbie said, her voice rising.
Ah.
Steve understood now.
If it wasn’t physical violence, then it would be humiliation.
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” Max said from somewhere behind Steve. She shoved her way through people, sent a couple of boys sprawling and didn’t give them a second look. “Steve wouldn’t touch you with a ten foot pole, he doesn’t want to catch something he can’t wash off in the morning.”
“Fuck off, loser, this doesn’t include you,” Debbie snapped.
“Now it does. Now it sure as fuck does,” Max said and stepped in front of Debbie. “Why are you begging Steve to take you out to Skull Rock, Debbie?”
Max was loud.
Dustin and Lucas followed Max out of the crowd and stopped next to Steve.
“Huh? What’s wrong, Debbie? Did Steve not fall for your stupid act?” Max said, crowding Debbie and forcing her back. “Why can’t you take no as an answer?”
“Oh, no, Max. Please stop. Nooooo…” Lucas whispered next to Steve, far too quiet for Max to hear.
“Well, buddy, you did your best to stop her. There’s just no talking to some people,” Dustin said and shrugged.
“What’s wrong, Debbie? Are you crying? I haven’t even mentioned how stupid your hair looks or how I can see the line of your makeup on your forehead,” Max yelled.
Steve wished he was in the mood to watch Max bully Debbie.
“I gotta go,” Steve muttered and turned away from the scene that was partly his fault. It was too much, all of this, and he wanted to get away from it all. He had to, before his head exploded.
There was a short scream behind him, but that didn’t slow Steve. Two deputies were pushing people aside, probably to pull Max off Debbie. More and more people were gathering around, but when Steve looked around, he couldn’t find Eddie.
“Fuck,” Steve muttered and gave up.
Maybe later.
Maybe he could find Eddie later and they could talk, but right now, his head was pounding. He had to get home.
***
Night had fallen when Steve stumbled out of bed and into the kitchen. The phone was ringing and his head felt better but he felt disoriented from the long nap he had taken.
He snatched it off the receiver.
“What?” He snapped.
Just because his head felt better didn’t mean he was in a good mood.
“Is Steve there?” A guy asked, uncertain of himself.
“Yeah, that’s me,” he said.
The faint sounds of people in the background; music, shouting, laughter.
A party. Wherever this person was calling from was a party. That was nice for them, Steve thought.
“Hey, you don’t know me, but my name is Gareth –“ he began, still uncertain.
“Eddie’s friend, right? Gareth the Great. That’s what he always called you. What’s up, man?” Steve asked and rubbed his head.
There was a weird silence on the other end. Stunned? Awkward? Maybe a bit of both.
“Yeah, that’s me. Hey, um. I have a weird request,” Gareth said and chuckled.
“Sure,” Steve said.
“So after – uh – Debbie tried to either sexually assault you, accuse you of assaulting her, or tried to get you jumped and then Max Mayfield kicked her ass, Eddie invited a bunch of people over to his house. We were jamming out and whatever and drinking and I know he drinks a lot but this was a lot even for him and now he’s puking and crying and told me to call you. He won’t let me in the bathroom unless I say you’re on your way?” Gareth said, the sentence ending on an upward tilt, like he was making a request out of it, not that it wasn’t a requirement from his second run-on sentence.
“Yeah, give me five minutes, I’m coming,” Steve said.
“Really?”
Steve snorted. “Of course. I’ll be there in a few. Try to get some water in him, okay?”
“Will do, Cap,” Gareth said.
God, and wasn’t that a smack in the face of childhood memories? Gareth had grown up not far from Steve and he had always been an awkward kid but Steve hadn’t always been a dick, and they used to play capture the flag and even back then, all the kids used to call him Captain.
Captain of their imaginary sailboats, of their team, Captain to lead them out of the darkness and away from the monsters nipping at their heels.
Who knew it had only been a dress rehearsal?
Steve pulled his jeans and shoes on, grabbed his sweatshirt, and headed out the door.
When he got to Eddie’s, he put his emergency lights on, and parked in the middle of the street. Gareth hadn’t been exaggerating when he said that Eddie had invited people over. There was no way to park close to Eddie’s house. Good thing not many neighbors were moved back in yet.
Steve picked his way across the lawn, kicking empty potato chip bags aside, way too many beer cans, and pushed his way inside.
He walked in and someone shouted, “Harrington!” and everyone cheered.
Steve hated his last name. Especially after the last time he had heard it from someone else’s mouth. He raised his hand which got him another cheer, and Gareth caught his eye toward the back of the living room, near the hall.
Steve followed him, someone pushed a beer in his hand, Steve thanked the faceless person, and finally got to Gareth.
He glanced at the beer in Steve’s hand. “You drinking?”
“Hell, no,” Steve said and handed the beer off to a guy in the hall.
“Thanks, man!” Argyle said.
Steve stopped and backed up, saw that Argyle was talking to a bunch of his old classmates.
“Argyle?” Steve asked.
“What’s up?” Argyle said and took a drink of the beer Steve handed him.
Steve shook his head. “Just didn’t expect to find you here. I’m going to take Eddie home with me. He’s had too much. Can you lock up? Make sure no one destroys his place?”
“No problem, muchacho,” Argyle said and nodded.
“Great, thanks,” Steve said and continued down the hall to Eddie’s room.
Inside, the room was trashed, which was fairly typical, but this looked worse. This wasn’t a mess of clothes and other things that had accumulated over days, it looked like Eddie had come in here and knocked shit off his dresser and side tables, tables he and Steve had picked out in Muncie, and torn clothes off the hangers, several of which lay broken under Steve’s feet.
“He… he hasn’t had a good time,” Gareth explained when he saw Steve looking around.
“No, he doesn’t do well smoking weed or drinking after what happened. Unless he’s with a small group and everything stays calm,” Steve explained.
Gareth stared at him.
“It fucked with his head and now stuff like that, his escapism, just takes him right back there and it’s not good for him. I wish he had told me he was going to have a party,” Steve muttered and scrubbed his face and pushed his hair back.
They both heard the groan from the bathroom.
“Did you get him to drink any water?” Steve asked.
“No. He said, and I quote, Steve drinks water and started puking again,” Gareth replied.
“What the fuck does that mean?” Steve asked.
Gareth hesitated and shook his head.
“Dude, it’s okay. You can tell me. I’m not going to beat you up or beat him up or anything,” Steve said.
“It’s… It’s really not my place to say. I’m sorry. All I know for sure is that he’s been asking for you and won’t listen to anyone else. He said you were a good guy, that the end of the world kind of changes people, so I’m trusting you here, and that’s a lot to ask,” Gareth said.
There was another groan from the bathroom.
Steve took a deep breath and nodded. “Thank you for that. For trusting me. I won’t do anything to hurt him. I promise.”
Gareth didn’t look like he believed him, but nodded anyway. “Okay. But also, Max isn’t the only one who can hurt people, you know?”
Steve chuckled. “I know.”
He pushed the door open and saw Eddie half sprawled against the wall, his long legs thrown partially into the tub, a plastic cup of water spilled near his hip. He still had his shoes on, there was no puke on him or the floor, so Steve counted the whole thing as a win.
“Go away,” Eddie mumbled.
Steve stepped inside and closed the door. It was pretty crowded, the two of them in such a small space, and Steve either had to stand over Eddie’s hips or in the tub.
He stood over his hips, a foot planted on either side of him. Steve crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at Eddie.
Eddie opened one eye. “Are you here?”
“I’m here,” Steve said.
“Yeah you are. Only you could sound that disappointed in me,” Eddie said and chuckled.
Steve wasn’t sure how to take that.
“Come on, let’s get you up and take you home,” Steve said and offered Eddie his hand.
Eddie tucked his hands into his armpits and scowled with his eyes closed.
“I am home, Harrington,” Eddie mumbled.
Steve almost gave up right then and there.
But then he thought of the first time he stepped through the Upside Down and saw Eddie standing there, guitar in hand, swarms of bats behind him. How Eddie had played the opening rift of Iron Man by Black Sabbath as they all stepped through the gate because he was a dramatic bastard and Steve truly admired that about him.
Dramatics aside, he wasn’t staying here. Steve was going to take him home and was going to take care of him. He had left one drunk person he cared about at a party and he was lucky enough that nothing happened to Nancy, but Steve could learn from his mistakes.
“Come on,” Steve said and grasped Eddie by his arm to pull him up.
Eddie jerked out of his grasp. “I don’t want to. I’m right here, I’ll stay here. You leave. And don’t come back.”
Steve let out a long breath. “Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?” Eddie snarled and Steve was startled into silence by the anger in his voice. “I don’t want you to take care of me, Steve. I’m fine right here, I was fine before you got here, and when you leave me, I’ll be fine.”
“Eddie, I’m not going to leave you.”
Eddie stared up at him, anger etched into his face and Steve could still see the undead version of him in that image. Rage, disappointment, and confusion all rolled into one neat undead Eddie.
But that wasn’t him anymore.
“You don’t mean that,” Eddie said and tried to kick him away and out of the bathroom.
“Why don’t I?” Steve asked.
“Because you don’t get it,” Eddie said and tried to kick him again, tried to get him out of the bathroom, but Eddie was too drunk to focus and he kept missing Steve by three feet.
“Then explain it to me,” Steve said.
Eddie laughed but it was mean and small. “No. Fuck off.”
Steve waited for the sting of that, like it had stung when Eddie called him by his last name, but it never materialized, it never hurt, and Steve realized that he knew with a certainty he had never felt before that Eddie didn’t mean it. This wasn’t going to be like the last time when someone he cared for above most things lashed out at him drunkenly. He wasn’t going to let it be that way.
“Eddie,” Steve sighed.
“Steve,” Eddie said, mocking him.
He looked down at Eddie and studied him, the way his hair fell over his face, the way he glared up at Steve like Steve had hurt him, offended him in the worst ways. He wanted to tell Eddie he was sorry, but he didn’t have anything to be sorry for.
“Do I still look good enough to eat?” Eddie asked and that wild grin that Steve hated spread over his face. “Or do you take it back?”
Steve stared down at him and shook his head. He was being childish, trying to hurt Steve, but this wasn’t anything compared to the long list of shit the two of them had faced.
“See? It’s easy to leave me,” Eddie said.
“I’m not leaving you, but no. You don’t look good enough to eat anymore. Your hair is all fucked up, you have puke on your breath, and you’re all sweaty and if we are being honest, you need a shower in the worst way,” Steve said.
Eddie glared at him.
“Come on, I’ll take you back to my place,” Steve said once more.
“Fuck. You.”
There was a beat of silence as they gave each other one last chance.
“All right, have it your way,” Steve said and opened the door behind him.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’ll kick your ass, Harrington,” Eddie said and raised one fist at him.
Cassie Thornton, the three-year-old toddler that called Steve honey, was more threatening than Eddie was at that moment.
Steve stepped out of the bathroom, reached down, and pulled Eddie out by his ankles.
The bathroom was too small to get him up off the floor, so Steve had to pull him out into Eddie’s bedroom where he could then lift him in a fireman’s carry and take him out that way.
“What are you doing?” Eddie yelped as Steve pulled him out of the bathroom.
Steve didn’t reply but he smirked when Eddie whooped with delight as Steve threw him over his shoulder and headed for the door.
“Dude, you’re strong,” Eddie said and grasped Steve around his waist and squeezed, like he was testing out his strength there.
“I am,” Steve agreed.
He had to shout excuse me at a couple people until Argyle and Gareth saw his struggle and turned to help him get out of the house. He made it outside and for the first time, Steve realized how claustrophobia had started to set in and he took a deep breath of the cool air.
For a brief second, he expected the noxious smell and taste of the ash from the Upside Down, but that was gone, all locked away now and Steve and Eddie were here in the real world, clean and whole.
Steve held onto that thought and walked to his car and helped Eddie into the passenger seat. He put his belt on and Eddie watched him, his eyes half closed and when Steve looked up at him, Eddie put a hand to his cheek.
Carrying him out to Steve’s car had softened Eddie for some reason.
“You’d be a good dad. Don’t know where you learned it from, but you’d be a good dad,” he whispered.
“Thanks,” Steve said and tried to not let it mean much more than that.
Eddie snorted and his eyes fell closed completely.
Steve drove them back to his place, Tears for Fears playing softly in the background, the streets silent. He helped Eddie inside, and to the bathroom in his room. Eddie puked once more and while he was leaning over the toilet, Steve pulled his hair back for him. He wrapped a lime green scrunchie around Eddie’s dark curls, the velvet kind all the girls fought over. Steve didn’t know how it ended up in his bathroom, because these things were worth their weight in gold.
“How was your date?” Eddie asked.
Steve was so lost in the feel of Eddie’s hair in his hands that he almost missed the question.
“Huh? What date?” Steve asked.
“With Debbie,” Eddie said and put the lid down and flushed. He put his cheek to the cool lid and closed his eyes.
“There was no date. What are you talking about? She was trying to get me out to Skull Rock so Andy and the other guys could jump me,” Steve said.
“I’ll fight ‘em all,” Eddie whispered, but didn’t move and didn’t open his eyes.
“Go get ‘em, killer,” Steve said.
That won him a small smile and it felt like a bucket of relief poured over his head.
“I’m going to get some pajamas for you. Do you want me to start the shower?”
“Please.”
Steve paused and took Eddie’s shoes off for him and turned the shower on to scalding hot, the way Eddie liked it. He left him in there and put his shoes and Steve’s in the closet and grabbed an old shirt before he went back into the bathroom again. Eddie was in the shower, blurred behind the thick glass and Steve could only see that he had his head tipped back to the water, nothing else.
He left the pajamas on the counter.
Steve was in bed by the time Eddie came out of the bathroom and crawled onto the bed next to him.
“Sorry,” Eddie whispered.
“For what?” Steve asked and put his bookmark (an old receipt from the time Eddie had bought him The Fellowship of the Ring) into his book and put it on the nightstand.
“For telling Gareth to call you. I know you probably had plans or whatever,” Eddie said.
Steve wanted to run his hands through Eddie’s hair but stopped himself, clenched his fists. “No. No plans. I was asleep when he called, actually.”
Eddie snorted. “Oh great. Even better.”
“Hey,” Steve said and poked him with his foot.
Eddie grumbled.
“You can call me. I don’t care what time it is.”
Eddie sighed and opened one eye to look at Steve. “I know. Thanks.”
Steve nodded. “Get some sleep. You’re going to feel like shit in the morning.”
***
Steve woke up to the smell of pancakes and bacon and eggs. He rolled over and saw that Eddie was fast asleep next to him, blankets pulled tight around him, making him into an Eddie-burrito. Whenever there was a sleepover, this was why they ended up next to each other. Steve kicked all the blankets off and Eddie pulled them into a burrito around himself and no one could stand the way they slept.
Eddie’s lips were pouted into a cupid’s bow and his brow was slightly furrowed. Steve studied him for a moment, his fair skin and the slight scattering of freckles across the bridge of his nose, barely noticeable unless you were this close.
Steve raised a hand and smoothed his thumb over Eddie’s brow, and Eddie relaxed under his touch and Steve wondered how relaxed he could get Eddie with just his hands –
And that was a thought that he should not be having while Eddie was passed out from too much alcohol, he decided.
Then Steve sat up, because if Eddie was here and Steve was here, then who the fuck was cooking in his kitchen!?
Steve stumbled out to the kitchen where he saw Gareth the Great at the stove, flipping pancakes even though there were two giant stacks at his elbow already and a platter of bacon.
“Gareth?” Steve said, confused.
“Hey, man. Sorry. You guys were passed out and I got hungry,” Gareth said casually over his shoulder, like he came over to cook every day in Steve’s kitchen.
“What -?” Steve said.
“Robin let me in. She said to help myself to whatever I needed, and if you had a problem with it, to take it up with her and Nancy after they got back from Indy later. She also let me in. Coffee? Oh, I got some of that stuff that they give kids when they are sick. Has electrolytes and shit. Argyle said it is a miracle cure for hangovers. Eddie’s going to need three bottles of it, I swear,” Gareth said.
Steve blinked at him.
“You had blueberries. I made blueberry pancakes. And chocolate chip. Help yourself,” Gareth said, like it wasn’t Steve’s kitchen and Steve’s food.
“Yeah, thanks, man. I’m just going to put a shirt on,” Steve said. He went back to his room and put a t-shirt on and checked on Eddie once more.
Still an Eddie-burrito, and still asleep.
He re-joined Gareth in the kitchen and looked around. “We’re going to have to call in reinforcements.”
He called over to the Byers-Hopper residence and Will promised to have everyone come over. Then Steve started the coffee pot and turned around to face Gareth. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the tile floor.
Steve didn’t know what to say. What do you talk about with a guy you hadn’t talked to since you were a child and after you had gone through hell with his best friend?
Hey, how’s it going? What college did you get into? How do you like your coffee? Eh, hell was okay, not much to talk about there, the entertainment venue was shit, I don’t recommend going.
That wouldn’t work.
“Eddie was my best friend,” Gareth said.
Steve looked up at him.
“The closest thing I had to a brother. He looked out for me, more than I realized. He’s a good guy, Harrington,” Gareth said.
“I know,” Steve said, a tad defensive.
That was the thing, he did know how good Eddie was, how much he looked out for the people he loved, how he would go to bat for them every single time if he could, how he would (and has) die for them.
Gareth nodded and flipped one final pancake and deemed it ready before he slid it onto a plate and picked it and the other stack up. Steve grabbed the other, other stack and the platter of bacon and followed Gareth to the dining room/office/classroom where Steve had a big table that everyone could eat at.
“I know you know, because you wouldn’t have brought him back if he wasn’t. But he’ll never be anything else than who he is,” Gareth said.
Steve put the food down, but by the time he looked up to ask Gareth what that meant, he was already turning back to the kitchen for plates and silverware.
“And that’s not a bad thing,” Steve said when he came back.
“No, it’s not. But if you are hoping that one day you can put a polo and a cardigan on the guy and introduce him to your parents, it’s not going to happen. He’s too much of who he is and he learned to stop being sorry about that a long time ago,” Gareth said.
Steve narrowed his eyes at Gareth. Were they even having the same conversation anymore? Steve couldn’t be sure.
“What are you saying?” Steve asked.
“He won’t be who he isn’t. Anyone who tries to tell him to do that will get a finger to his face while Eddie walks away. And good for him, I think,” Gareth said and sat.
Steve went back to the kitchen.
Who was Eddie? What did Gareth think that Steve was trying to do, turn Eddie into Tommy H. 2.0?
The thought made Steve’s stomach turn.
Or –
Or could Gareth tell how Steve felt about Eddie? And he was trying to gently warn him off?
Steve put the syrup down on the table and took a seat. He started with the plain pancakes first as he thought. Gareth got some blueberry pancakes and they ate in silence for a moment.
If Gareth knew, but wasn’t saying anything outright, then there was nothing for Steve to say or defend against. If he did say something, then Steve could…
Could what?
God, he didn’t know anymore.
“These are good,” Steve said and gestured to his food.
“Thanks,” Gareth said.
“Like, really good. Shit, dude, did you think about going to culinary school?” Steve asked.
“I’m going in the fall,” Gareth said and looked down at his plate, pleased with himself.
“Good. No one should ever be who they aren’t,” Steve said and looked out the window.
Jonathan was unloading everyone from his car, and Argyle parked right behind him. They were laughing and shouting and Steve made a note to yell at Lucas later to not jump over his fence like that.
“I hope you mean that,” Gareth said.
“I do,” Steve said.
They regarded each other silently for a moment until the door was thrown open.
“Steve! Will said you have food to eat and I’m starving!” Lucas shouted, a childlike exuberance overshadowing anything else.
“Well, you came to the right place because Gareth is a goddamn chef,” Steve said and welcomed them in.
***
“Am I back in the Upside Down?” Eddie mumbled.
“No, why would you think that?” Steve asked.
“My head,” Eddie said and tried to make the darkness even darker.
“You’re hungover,” Steve said.
“Where are you?” Eddie asked.
“I’m right next to you,” Steve said and Eddie thought he heard the sound of a page turning.
“Why can’t I see you?” Eddie asked. He was whiny and needy and didn’t have the strength to cover it up.
“Because you’re doing your best impression of a burrito,” Steve replied.
Eddie whined again, like Steve had been the one to make him drink so much.
“Here,” Steve said and an arm appeared in the darkness, holding a bottle of something. “Drink it. Argyle recommended it.”
Eddie took the oddly shaped, small jug from Steve and took a drink. He almost spat it out. “What the fuck is that? Tastes like the stuff Uncle Wayne would give me when I sick as a kid.”
“That’s exactly what it is,” Steve said.
“What time is it?” Eddie asked awhile later, half the bottle gone.
“Almost one.”
“I fucked up your whole day off.”
“It’s our day off. And no you didn’t. Gareth came over, made me breakfast. The kids came over and ate and left. Same day off schedule as always.”
Eddie fell silent. He finished off the jug and he pulled the blankets off his head. He winced at the afternoon light filtering in through the curtains. Steve was lounging next to him on his bed and Eddie blinked and realized they were at Steve’s house and not his own.
“When did I get here?” Eddie asked and groaned. He couldn’t remember what he said the night before. “Dude, I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Steve asked and put his book down.
“I blacked out. I don’t remember what I said which means I was an asshole. I’m sorry,” Eddie said.
Steve smirked. “Apology accepted.”
That electrolyte shit really did work. His head wasn’t feeling nearly as bad and he pushed himself up. “So what did I say? What did I call you? I didn’t mean any of it, I’m sorry.”
“I know you didn’t. And I don’t think you called me anything, but you did tell me to get out, to leave you alone, that if I was going to leave I might as well do it now, and then you threatened to fight me,” Steve said.
“Oh god,” Eddie whispered.
“It wasn’t very threatening from the way you were slumped over in your bathroom, so don’t worry about it,” Steve said.
He stretched and yawned and Eddie watched the way he winced as it pulled at the scars on his belly. He rubbed a hand over it and sighed.
“So how was the date with Debbie?” Eddie asked.
Steve turned to face him, slowly, like he couldn’t believe Eddie would ask something like that.
“What?” Eddie said.
“There was no date. This is the second time I’ve had to tell you that,” Steve huffed and got up.
Now he was irritated, Eddie realized as Steve tossed his book on his dresser.
“Well, if it was last night, I don’t remember,” Eddie said.
“Yeah,” Steve said and went into the bathroom. Eddie heard the toilet flush and the water turn on and he must have really pissed Steve off, because he was getting in the shower now.
Eddie drank the second jug next to him and waited for Steve to come out. He drummed his fingers against the nearly empty jug as he listened to the shower turn off. Steve came out a second later with his hair wet and slicked back, a towel wrapped around his waist, and way too much skin and way too many scars on display for Eddie to focus properly. He marched over to his dresser and said something to Eddie.
“Huh?” Eddie said and blinked. He looked up at the back of Steve’s head.
“I said, you’re staring.”
“Oh.”
Eddie didn’t stop staring. There was something he was missing and it almost felt like Steve was staying mostly undressed to distract him from whatever his mind was trying to gently remind him about.
Then he remembered the sick feeling the day before, leaving Steve in the shop with his parents. He didn’t like them and he liked them less when he realized how they had rarely taken the time to check on Steve after everything happened. Seeing them up close and personal, meeting them, that had only solidified his opinion.
“How are your parents?” Eddie asked.
Steve laughed at the question and found some jeans and went back into the bathroom.
“That good, huh?” Eddie shouted through the door.
“They want me to go back to Indy with them,” Steve shouted and opened the door, unfortunately partially dressed. He was wearing some blue plaid boxers.
“Oh yeah?” Eddie said, trying his best to remain neutral, even while he inwardly screamed and begged Steve not to go. “Are you going to go?”
Steve took out his hair stuff from under the sink and lined them up neatly before grabbing his blow dryer. Eddie was always fascinated with this ritual, watching Steve put himself together to face the day.
“I don’t really feel like being my mom’s political prop to get her reelected this year. They told me I’m unreasonable and an ingrate and my dad slapped me –“
“What?” Eddie said and sat up, fury providing him enough motivation to look around for his shoes.
“They left this morning. Don’t worry about it. It’s not anything new,” Steve muttered and shook the mousse bottle in his hand and squirted some in his palm before running it through his hair.
“Fuck that, I’m not –“
“They’re gone, Eddie. They’re not coming back. Just leave it,” Steve said and he sounded tired and Eddie couldn’t see into the bathroom from this angle, but Eddie knew what he looked like when he sounded like that.
Broken.
“Steve,” Eddie said.
“I don’t know. Maybe I should have gone with them. Maybe I should just sell my portion of Meeting Grounds to you or Dustin or Max and just call it quits. Go to Indy and meet my parents and then after the election, leave. I could go to the Grand Canyon,” Steve said, his voice soft.
No.
“Why?” Eddie asked.
“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t know anything. I’m just… here,” Steve said.
For some reason that pissed Eddie off. He wasn’t just here. He was here for the kids, he was here for Robin, he was here for Eddie.
But maybe that was the catch. Maybe that wasn’t enough anymore. Maybe the kids, the girls, Eddie, maybe it wasn’t enough for Steve anymore.
“Right. Well, say bye to us before you leave,” Eddie said and stood up. He snatched up a sweatshirt off the foot of the bed and pulled it on.
Steve came out of the bathroom and for one wild second, he thought Steve was going to ask him to stay or ask him to go with him to the Grand Canyon.
But he just looked so tired, like he didn’t even have any more fight in him. He saw Eddie standing there, in Steve’s sweatshirt and Eddie wanted Steve to yell at him, to tell him to get back in bed, but it wasn’t anything like that because it never was these days.
“Yeah, of course,” Steve said.
Eddie gave him one tight nod and turned on his heel, went to the front closet and found his sneakers in there. He shoved his feet into them and didn’t bother to adjust the laces or the fit before he was striding out the door. Tears were threatening to fall and he wouldn’t let Steve see him cry. That was just one humiliation too many.
Eddie slammed the door behind him and started walking home.
He was walking for five minutes when he heard someone honk behind him. He waved his hand, acknowledging it, but didn’t stop.
The car pulled up next to him. Eddie looked over.
Gareth was driving next to him and he looked concerned.
Eddie got in his car and slumped down.
“I’m sorry,” Gareth said quietly.
“It’s nothing,” Eddie said.
“Eddie,” Gareth said, and the sound of his name coming from his oldest friend, so gently, was enough to make Eddie start crying all over again.
“No, really. It was nothing. It was never anything. He’s Steve Harrington, he’s not –“
Babe. Honey. Darling. Sweetheart.
Mine.
Gareth drove Eddie home and didn’t mention anything about the tears on his face.
***
Well if that wasn’t a decision made for him, then Steve didn’t know what it was.
It would probably be easier this way, he decided.
“You’re being an idiot,” Robin said.
“I’m not being an idiot. That is literally what he said. Say bye before you leave. Like I’m some kind of discarded pet,” Steve said.
“Well that doesn’t have anything to do with what you want,” Robin said.
Steve looked over at her.
“You didn’t even talk to him!” She yelled.
They were at her house, and she had just gotten home from Indy. She paced back and forth and Steve sat on the couch.
“What’s there to talk about? He wants me to go. Or, best case scenario, he doesn’t care if I go,” Steve said.
Robin sighed and put a hand to her forehead. She stopped pacing and turned to him, but her eyes were closed and her lips were moving, like she was silently praying for the strength to deal with Steve.
“Robin,” Steve said softly.
She opened her eyes.
“Why do you care? Even you’re leaving. Wherever I end up, I’ll just buy you a plane ticket to visit me,” Steve said gently.
“I care because you’re unhappy!” She shouted at him and threw a pillow at his face.
He caught it. “I’ve been unhappy for a long time. At least now I don’t have any reason to stay here and I can just…”
“Just what?” Robin demanded.
“Go see the Grand Canyon,” Steve said.
“What is with you and the Grand Canyon?” She yelled.
Steve shrugged. “I’ve wanted to kayak down the Colorado River and look up and see the sky from the bottom of it. I think it’s one of the natural wonders of the world. I hear they have trips where you can ride a donkey all the way to the bottom. It sounds neat. You can camp on the riverbank.”
Robin stared at him. “And what if you don’t find happiness at the bottom of the Grand Canyon?”
“Then I’ll go to Oregon,” Steve said.
“What the fuck is in Oregon?” Robin asked.
“Multnomah Falls. Legend says it was created for a princess to bathe in in secret. It’s kind of a nice thought,” Steve said.
“What is going on with you?” Robin said and sat down next to him.
Steve let out a breath and looked over to her big window that looked out on her front yard. “Nothing. There’s just… nothing. So I need to go find something.”
***
Eddie wasn’t sure when his sadness and tears gave way to anger. He just remembered sitting there, being sad and listening to his mom’s old Motown records and then standing up and saying out loud, “Fuck you.”
There was no one in his house. He hadn’t seen Steve in the two days since he had told him to say bye and he had called in to the shop the past two days. He couldn’t see him, answering to Cassie Thornton’s honey, he couldn’t see him listen to Dustin talk about their latest campaign, he couldn’t.
He wouldn’t.
But when had Eddie Munson sat down and accepted what fate had handed him? Never, that’s when.
Even when he died, he hadn’t actually died and if he had a second chance to do this, then why wouldn’t he? Why the fuck wouldn’t he march up to Steve and poke him in his stupid chest and tell him to fuck off, that Eddie wanted to go to the Grand Canyon too. That he wanted to go wherever Steve went. That he just needed to tell Steve once, just once, and then if Steve didn’t feel the same way, he would never bring it up again.
But he had to say it once.
Eddie got his shoes on and got into his car and drove over to Steve’s. As he got out, Nancy was walking up to Robin’s house.
“Hey, Eddie,” Nancy said.
He raised a hand but didn’t stop, stormed up to Steve’s door. He pounded on the door and waited.
“He’s not home!” Robin yelled from next door. She was hanging out her door and Nancy was still on the porch and they were both watching him.
The pit in Eddie’s stomach dropped and it must have shown.
“He’s still here, just not at home. I don’t know where he is,” Robin said.
Eddie spun around, put his hands on his hips and looked down at the pavement. He bit his lower lip and nodded.
“Eddie!” Nancy called out.
Eddie looked at her.
“Where are you going?” She asked.
Eddie shrugged, got back in his car, and drove away.
He lied. He knew exactly where to go.
Ten minutes later, he was parking off the road from a path that would lead him to Lover’s Lake. Just like he knew Steve would be there, his shiny Mercedes was parked right there too.
Eddie took a deep breath and got out of his car.
If this is what it cost him to tell Steve, he could do that.
He followed the path and he realized he should have brought a flashlight with him, he should have something with him to see through the woods. The sun was setting and he was stumbling around like an idiot.
Eddie finally came to the edge of the woods, and he found who he was looking for.
Steve sat on the edge, his legs hanging over, a six-pack of soda next to him. He didn’t drink much anymore, Eddie realized suddenly. How had he not noticed before?
“I’m not gone. I don’t have to say goodbye yet,” Steve said over his shoulder.
He turned his head to the side and his profile was illuminated by the sun and the water.
“How did you know it was me?” Eddie asked.
“I could hear you a mile away and you kept cursing every time you tripped over something,” Steve said.
Oh.
Eddie took a few steps closer to him. “What are you doing out here?”
“I was trying to be alone, but it looks like that’s just one more thing I failed at,” Steve said and took a soda off the rings and held it up to him.
Ouch.
“Okay,” Eddie said and took the soda from him.
“Did you need something?” Steve asked.
Need.
Did he need Steve?
No, not really. He wasn’t going to stop breathing if Steve laughed in his face. But it wasn’t need that drove him.
“No,” Eddie said and forced himself to sit.
“Then what are you here for?” Steve asked and looked over at him.
His hair didn’t have its usual flair and his eyes had bags. He hadn’t been sleeping.
“I just… I don’t know. I didn’t need a reason to hang out with you,” Eddie said, leaving the last part of that question off.
“No,” Steve said and rolled the can between his palms.
“I just –“ Eddie stood up and Steve looked up at him and Eddie walked away from the lake, and Steve, back toward the path to his car.
Steve watched him go and then Eddie turned back.
“You don’t have to stay. You don’t need to do anything. You know? You know that, right? There isn’t anything for you here or Indy. You are absolutely fucking free to do what you want and you’re here. You can go and keep going until you know you’re free, and that’s the craziest fucking thing to me because you’re here!” Eddie shouted.
Steve blinked at him. “You’re mad.”
“Yes!”
“At me?”
“Yes!”
“Why?”
Eddie took a deep breath, drank from his soda, and glared at Steve.
“Because you don’t get it!” Eddie snapped.
“You’re right. I don’t get it. You said that to me when you were drunk, you know. You told me that I wouldn’t get it, and I guess I wouldn’t, but I don’t even have a fucking chance, Eddie, if you don’t tell me what the fuck you’re talking about!” Steve yelled back and got to his feet.
Eddie didn’t know why he thought he could yell at Steve and he wouldn’t fight back.
Well, fuck him and his high horse.
“Because you could have everything and you’re here! Go! Get out of here!” Eddie said and gestured to the lake, like that’s where he wanted Steve to go.
Steve stared at him for a second and threw his head back and laughed, but it was mean and cruel and reminded Eddie too much of the King Steve days.
And this was not going how Eddie thought it would go.
“I don’t need your permission or your encouragement or anything like that! I get to do what I want and you think I don’t have any reason to stay here? The only people in the world that give a fuck about me, if I lived or died, are here. And here you are, telling me to get out! Well, fuck you, Munson! I don’t answer to you!” Steve said.
“I know that! You think I don’t know that! But I can’t have you here and watch you fall in love with someone like Debbie! You can ask me to do anything, Harrington, but you can’t ask me that. You don’t get to have that from me!” Eddie yelled and he realized there were tears in his eyes.
Steve wasn’t backing down even as Eddie’s voice choked and broke.
“Get out of here! People fall in love with you all the time. All you have to do is be who you are and they love you! I can’t leave because if I do, there isn’t anyone out there to fall in love with me! The only people I know, the only people I’m allowed to have are right here and if you want to go out there and find someone, you can!” Eddie stopped, forced himself to take a deep breath. He put a hand to his chest and raised his chin, proud despite his tears. “The people here, the ones who know me, they love me. And if that’s all I get, then that’s it. I can make do with that. But if you ever – If I was ever your friend, leave. Don’t make me watch you fall in love. Please.”
Steve stared at him and there was still that cold mask and his lips didn’t curve up and he was so silent and so still.
“Is that what you want?” Steve asked.
“No,” Eddie said and cleared his throat and wiped his face. He shook his head. “No.”
“Why not?”
His voice was flat, uninterested.
“Because I want to be with you all the time. I miss you. But I don’t care about you the way you want me to care about you,” Eddie whispered.
Steve shook his head. “You misunderstood me. Why can’t you watch me fall in love with someone?”
“I just told you. I don’t care about you the way you want me to care about you,” Eddie said.
“You said I can ask you to do anything,” Steve said and there was a dangerous note in his voice and Eddie became wary all of a sudden. He took a step toward Eddie and his face was shadowed and he couldn’t see Steve’s expression. There might have been a cruel twist of a smile or it might have been him pleading, Eddie couldn’t tell.
Eddie wanted to back away as Steve got within arms reach of him but he stood his ground. He knew better than to run from Steve. He would catch Eddie in three seconds flat. Eddie was already breathing hard.
“Yeah,” Eddie said.
“Kiss me.”
It felt like waking up in the Upside Down all over again. Pain from being torn apart, voices saying contradictory things, the ache of being left behind.
But he wasn’t going to be ashamed. Steve could mock him all he wanted, he could tease Eddie about wanting to kiss him, but Eddie wasn’t ever going to be ashamed. It wasn’t in his DNA. He didn’t, wouldn’t, allow it.
“Fuck you.”
Steve chuckled and Eddie still couldn’t see his face and it was driving him crazy.
“That’s what I thought,” Steve said and he stepped so close to Eddie, so quickly, that Eddie stepped back away from him on instinct.
Steve had one hand on his hip and guided him back as he invaded every single part of Eddie’s senses.
Well almost.
He couldn’t taste Steve.
Then his back was against a tree and they were in the shadows and Eddie waited for the hand around his neck, the swing of the punch, but Steve just settled his hands against Eddie’s hips, one thumb slipping under Eddie’s shirt and he practically jumped at the feel of Steve’s thumb stroking the scarred skin.
“But I asked you and you said I could ask you anything,” Steve said and he traced Eddie’s jaw with his nose and chuckled. “You need to shave. That tickles.”
“Don’t –“ Eddie whispered, frozen.
“Don’t what?” Steve whispered in his ear.
Eddie squeezed his eyes shut. “Don’t hurt me. I don’t come back from that, Steve. Don’t – don’t hurt me.”
“I would kill myself first. But I won’t hurt you,” Steve said, his lips ghosting over Eddie’s cheek and he lingered just over his lips. “You said I could ask for anything. All I want is a kiss.”
Steve ran his hands up and cupped Eddie’s face and kissed him.
Eddie, too shocked, remained frozen, his eyes open.
“Eddie, Eddie, kiss me. Please, please, before I go, kiss me,” Steve whispered into his mouth.
And good fucking god, if that’s what Steve wanted, Eddie could certainly oblige.
He groaned and pulled Steve close, kissed him, opened up for him, kissed him and kissed him until they were both gasping for it. Eddie spun Steve around, pushed him into the tree and got his hands into Steve’s hair and held him there and kissed him and held him.
“Don’t go. Please, don’t go,” Eddie said.
“You said I have to. You said you couldn’t watch me fall in love with someone and you are walking a thin fucking line here, buddy,” Steve said.
“I don’t count, darling,” Eddie said and kissed him again, kissed him until they were both drunk and stupid from it.
“Well how the fuck was I supposed to know if you don’t tell me?” Steve asked.
Eddie laughed and kissed Steve again. “You’re never getting rid of me.”
“I don’t want to. But I do kind of want to go to the Grand Canyon now.”
***
“Hey, darling!” Steve called out when he walked into Meeting Grounds the next morning.
“Hey, honey!” Eddie replied.
“Honey!” Cassie yelled.
“Hey, I will fight you for him,” Eddie said as he leaned over the counter to hand Cassie her hot chocolate.
Cassie laughed in his face, just like Steve did. She reached one chubby hand out to Steve. “My honey.”
“All right fine, but can he be my darling?” Eddie asked.
“Um,” Cassie tilted her head as she sat in her father’s arms and he turned his head from her so she wouldn’t see him struggling not to laugh. “I guess.”
“That’s very kind of you,” Eddie said.
“We’ll see you guys tomorrow,” Chuck said.
They waved bye to Cassie as she and her parents left.
“I don’t even think we need to clear it with Robin and Nance when we leave,” Eddie said to Steve as Steve came up next to him and started tying his apron around his waist.
“Why not?” Steve asked.
“I think we need to clear it with Cassie first,” Eddie muttered.
Before Steve could reply, the door was thrown open and Max and Eleven stormed through and around the counter.
“Whoa – hey!” Steve said when Max shoved him.
“You’re leaving? I’m still in high school, asshole! You promised to teach me how to drive! You can’t leave!” Max yelled.
“Me too!” Dustin said as he and the guys came through the door.
“What the fuck!” Mike yelled.
“Were you even going to say goodbye?” Eleven asked quietly.
“I’m not going anywhere!” Steve yelled.
“That’s a lie,” Eddie said.
Steve spun around, annoyed. “Shut up.”
“Where are you going?” Max said.
“The Grand Canyon,” Steve said and she shoved him again. “I’m coming back! It’s a vacation! I think I earned it!”
“So you aren’t leaving?” Max asked.
“No!” Eddie and Steve said.
Max paused and she glanced between them. Dawning realization looked just as good on her as it did Nancy. “Oh.”
“What, oh? You said you were going to kick his ass! Kick his ass, Max!” Dustin said and pointed at Steve.
“Fight your own fights, Henderson!” Steve said.
“Babe, maybe we should –“ Eddie began.
“No, if he wants to fight, we can fight!” Steve said and shoved Dustin.
Dustin shoved him back and the door opened for the two of them to take it outside.
Max and the others watched the two of them get each other in headlocks.
“So you aren’t leaving?” Will asked.
“No, man. Why would we? We have everything we want right here,” Eddie said and laughed as both Steve and Dustin got a handful of each other’s hair and then let go and started slapping each other. “Fucking paradise.”