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English
Series:
Part 5 of i may be a mess but at least i'm a hot one
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Anonymous
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Published:
2015-08-03
Words:
800
Chapters:
1/1
Kudos:
55
Bookmarks:
2
Hits:
1,200

my life would suck without you

Summary:

When Mamoru walked into what he thinks the men's bathroom that morning, he never expected to see a beautiful girl singing karaoke in her underwear, but then again, he never expected he'd meet anyone like Usagi either.

Drabble based off a hot mess au post on tumblr.

Notes:

Fifth out of five hot mess au fics. This one's prompt was: 'why are you dancing in your underwear to kelly clarkson in a public bathroom while brushing your teeth’ au

Title from 'My Life Would Suck Without You' by Kelly Clarkson.

Work Text:

Muttering curses under his breath at his stupid, idiotic friends, and their stupid, idiotic antics, Mamoru pushes the door to the bathroom open without looking at it, looking instead at what is sure to be a permanent coffee stain on the front of one of his favorite shirts.

This is mistake number 17 of the day, and it’s not even nine yet.

Mistake number 18 is swearing loudly when he realizes there is a girl in nothing but her underwear twirling around the bathroom in front of him, pale blonde hair twirling around her loosely as she sings a song that has been played much too frequently on the radio waves for Mamoru’s tastes recently.

She drops the toothbrush she was using as a microphone with a clatter. He makes mistake number 19, meeting her clear blue eyes, and not removing himself from the bathroom. They stare at each for a few moments, seconds measured by the heartbeats this tiny pixie girl with ethereal features. He is blindsided by her beauty and stays frozen. Until she screams, that is.

“CREEP!!!! GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!!!!! CAN’T YOU READ??? WOMEN ONLY!””

He scrambles out of the bathroom as fast as he can, sure he’s lost 80% of his hearing now. His friends burst into laughter as they see him burst through the door, and, is Motoki actually crying because he’s laughing so hard? Mamoru makes up his mind right then and there; Motoki is meeting an early death by Mamoru’s cheerful hands, no matter how much he might owe his friend’s family for everything they’ve done for him over the years.

He makes several rude hand gestures towards them, but does not approach. He’s still a little mesmerized by the blonde in the bathroom, and is mildly concerned she seems to be without clothes. There is no more singing coming from the bathroom (he can’t believe he didn’t hear her earlier, to be honest. If he had maybe he wouldn’t have entered the bathroom in the first place and wouldn’t be in this predicament now) and so he knocks. This could be counted as mistake number 20.

Instead of answering, the door swings open and the blonde, red-faced and panting slightly, narrows her eyes at him. “Yes?”

“Hi, uh, I just, um, wanted to say I’m sorry?” he manages to stammer, feeling intimidated by this girl who is definitely at least a foot and a half shorter than he is, and looks like he could easily pick her up tenfold.

She glares at him a moment longer, before stepping out of the bathroom and swinging her bag around to rest more securely on her shoulder. It whacks him in the thigh and he winces, wondering exactly what she’s got in there.

“You really should learn how to read, you know. This school is apparently very hard to get into, and now I’m wondering how you conned your way in if you can’t read something as simple as a bathroom sign.” She turns her nose up in the air and begins to march away.

He bristles. He feels mistake number 21 coming on, but does nothing to stop it. “You know, for someone I just caught singing Kelly Clarkson in her underwear in the school cafeteria’s bathroom you’re acting pretty high and mighty.”

She freezes mid-step and turns around to face him once more. “I’m not the one who barged in on a girl trying to get ready for her nine thirty class after pulling an all-nighter! Excuse me for trying to energize myself while preparing for what is sure to be a crappy day!”

He feels a little guilty, but doesn’t let it show. “You could’ve at least locked the door!”

“I didn’t see the need to since there was no one here when I came in!” She’s seething now and he can’t help but think she looks even cuter when she’s angry. “Now if you excuse me, you pompous jerk!”

He watches her go in fascination. She’s almost out the door when he calls out, in what is true mistake number 22 style, “Hey, dumpling head, I didn’t even catch your name!” (yes her strange hairstyle did not escape his notice and yes he likes it).

“THEY’RE NOT DUMPLINGS!” she roars back. “AND IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.”

He’s got a dazed half smile on his face for the rest of the day.

(Her name is Usagi, he finds out later, over the coffee he’s finally gotten her to agree to getting with him, a week and a half later. She orders the most expensive thing on the menu, “to teach you a lesson” she tells him. She later pulls him in for a mind blowing kiss, “don’t let it go to your head, idiot”, and he’s in love)

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