Chapter Text
My first death was nothing special. An accident. A heavy breanch in a storm directly on the head.
My second death was... Far more crule.
I had just woken up in this new place. This new body. Small, weak and fragile with no possibil way to defend myself or get a real grip on the situation. Already I felt how my air was cut of. Blurry shape over me talking nonsense. It didn't take long and I was gone again.
My third death was maybe a few minutes after that when woke up again screaming my burning lungs out. My murderer probably thought that they didn't cut my air of long enough and started again.
He gave up after another few trys when he noticed that I wouldn't die.
Accepting 'gods will' and 'the heavenly miracle of my life'
My fivth death was a accident and surprisingly not my father's fault.
One of uncle Jacobs friends, was playing nervously with his revolver, while talking to him and father. I was five and reading one of my picture books on the floor near them when a shot got lose.
It hit me right in the head.
It was quite the curious experience since everything got black but I wasn't unconscious I felt nothing until my head stated to regrow.
The pain came slowly so did all my other senses.
I could start to make out how someone was holding my hand, murmuring near my ear and screaming so much screaming.
Things became clearer. My father was holding my hand while murmuring prayers, eyes closed and crying slightly.
The screaming was uncle Jacob beating the crap out of his friend.
Taking a shaky breath I asked "Dad...? What happened?"
(Helping to clean the remains of your own head is strange.)
The first time I saw someone else die was when I was eight.
I didn't know her name only that she was new in the community.
Uncle John was often angry about a lot of things. But this time it seemed like her pure existence was a thorn in his side. I noticed first when he dunked her head under the water for too long when she was baptised. Then again when she was suppose to confess, he just wouldn't stop. And last when it was time to cut out her sin.
He dug the needle so deep in her flesh that it was for sure broken afterwards. He must have hit a artery or something similar when using the scalpel because it didn't take long for her to stop moving and after a short time to breath.
No one noticed that I saw the whole process. I was becoming proficient in hiding in plain or even out of sight.
But they knew that I saw when I asked one evening.
"Why did you kill the woman with the blond hair uncle John?"
Silence
"Eve... What do you mean?" He was good at hiding it but I could still hear it. He was nervous. They all were.
"I saw how you killed her. Why were you so angry with her?"
It wasn't John who answered but my father "You see Eve... There are people out there that don't understand us. Evil people, sinners, who want to hurt our family. She was one of them. She wanted to take you from us."
»Take me from them« as if they owned me...
Well they saw me as a gift from God themself so I guess I can follow that way of thinking.
Taking a bit to think of a fitting answer, they watched me intensely.
"Can we pray for her forgiveness? I'm sure she was just missguided" that gave me a soft smile from father. (And an eyerole from uncle Jacob)
"Of course Eve. Do you want to lead?"
And that was how I lead my frist prayer of many.