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eyes are the windows to the soul, people say.
at the age of 10, nico di angelo wonders if his windows are shattered, left in shards.
he wishes to forget, to mend these windows, but all that he seems to do is make it worse.
as he cries, the rain is let in, and the inside of his little house is further tarnished, washing away the hope, the happiness left in him, and most importantly, his sense of care.
he finds that he can’t care like a normal person- and that’s confusing.
why is it that bianca was gone? why did percy fail him?
( why, why, why? )
at the age of 12, nico meets will.
a son of apollo, though he doesn't seem to have the powers of song and archery in his blood. ( nico finds that strange, yet interesting. )
instead, he heals better than his half - siblings.
and at the age of 12, as they fight in a war, nico finds that it's rather helpful, even if will solace is probably one of the most annoying people he thinks he's met.
after a while, he wishes to rearrange and tidy his house, to make it seem presentable- for a messy house is never what people expect of you.
( he doesn't want his soul to be bare; he doesn't want to seem like he's craving for love- because he's not. or perhaps that's just the lie he repeats daily, hoping that one day, he'll believe it. )
at the age of 14, he's ordered to spend 3 days in the infirmary with solace.
.. he'd never admit it out loud ( and especially not in front of will himself ) that he'd actually started to enjoy their time together.
to him, being able to be himself, even for just moments, is enough. he finds the sunlight gracing his presence again, and silently smiles to himself.
in his house, the ghost of nico di angelo celebrates. he’s finally able to talk to people ( ignore that it’s only one person ), and he’s smiling again.
as the two boys grow together, they go through another war, and william andrew solace loses two of his brothers.
nico knows it all too well– the look in will’s eyes, it almost looks like his windows are shattering as well.
( he hates to admit it, but he doesn’t know how to deal with this. he can hardly deal with his own feelings, who’s to say he can deal with will’s? )
but he tries anyway, doing his best to spend as much time as he can with the blonde, trying to fix his windows. will seems to appreciate it, and nico finds himself burning under the glare of the sun.
the sun is comforting to him, and he basks in its warmth, despite his blood being colder than ice, despite being the son of death himself.
nico likes the warmth of william solace– he realises this with a start.
( no, no, no, he couldn’t like another man?! how could he be sinning in such a way? – then he realises. being a son of death in itself is already a disrespect to his upbringing. though this knowledge brings him comfort, nico cannot help but think that it is wrong. )
somewhere along the way, will tells him more about himself, and nico finds out that will is ‘pansexual’ – which means that he likes more than just women, and he thinks that he could have a chance. that is, if will even saw him the same way.
in the spur of that moment, nico utters,
“i’m gay, i think-”
and will doesn’t even question it. he just pats nico on the back, congratulating him.
nico is left confused. will doesn’t … hate him?
( will could never hate nico di angelo, even if he tried to. it’s almost a stupid thought, seeing as will had just came out as pansexual, but nico’s mind worked in wondrous ways, sometimes not a good kind of wondrous. )
for the rest of the year, the sun and death dance slowly around each other, the feelings reciprocated but being too afraid to talk to the other.
( talk to me
, will always said.
i like it when you talk.
but nico couldn’t find it in him to talk about this.
)
the next year, they have grown yet again. nico and will are finally together, though the dancing never stops. they prefer a waltz, rather than faster dances, for they have learnt to savour their time with each other.
( life as a demi - god, especially nico’s life, as a son of hades, was always unexpected and confusing. they’d never know what would happen next. or perhaps it’s the effects of kronos on them, his ability to stop time that made them both slow in their tracks. )
nico finds that his house has started to look tidier, as the years flew past. things are more organised, and he finds solace in that.
he also finds solace in will, and has realised subconsciously that he’s starting to smile more. he doesn’t mind that, he thinks.
as the years go by, nico’s house definitely has some major changes made to it.
for starters, it has been cleared up more. the debris of his shattered windows have been cleared, and everything is more orderly.
also, there are now two floors. it’s almost as if nico’s preparing his house for someone to live in it with him.
every morning, he’s awoken by the sun glaring into his eyes. ( he’d want to use will’s smell to describe his mornings, but alas, the sun has no smell, though he swears his boyfriend smells like a smore cookie. )
throughout the day, he’s accompanied by rays of light, as he and will spend their hours together, and at night, he finds solace next to him, both literally and figuratively. he feels like will is repairing his windows, silently assuring him that it’s alright to be himself, and even as he does this, nico can feel the essence of the sun god being spread across the shards, making the glue seem almost golden.
he finds out later that this is an actual art, called kintsugi. ( the art of using glue that is pigmented with gold to repair broken items, such as ceramic plates, bowls, and more. )
quite fitting, he thinks, for someone as broken as himself. will is the same, though his windows aren’t as badly shattered as nico’s. this, however, doesn’t make the breakage any different. but it seems that just by being there, nico is also doing his own form of kintsugi – just that his is in black. he wasn’t a fan of bright colours such as gold, but being the boyfriend of the son of the sun god, he had to tolerate it.
( that was a lie. though he enjoyed darker colours, his heart would forever stay with the brightness of the sun, and the boy, will solace. )
by the end of that year, nico’s windows are gleaming with gold, and will’s are decorated in black. their houses are both rather clean, and he is content.
nico di angelo used to wallow in a house of darkness, with the windows shattered.
now, he finds that his house has been lit up with the prettiest sunlight, windows no longer broken, and everything where it should be.
and with will, and the friends he’s slowly grown fond of, sticking with him, nico di angelo finds that allowing people into his house is easier than ever before.