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It was autumn already, but Taehyung had the window rolled down a little bit while his car crawled along the congested road. He didn’t mind the gentle sting of the wind. After another seemingly endless day spent in the carpeted offices of a tower of glass and concrete, it felt refreshing. Reviving, even.
He was out earlier than usual tonight. He was supposed to meet with Namjoon and update him on some of the initiatives planned by the company for the final quarter of the year. Although it had been a long time since Namjoon was actively involved with any of the direct management of the company — these days he was, with their grandmother’s blessing and active encouragement, busy managing a gallery and overseeing an art restoration workshop — his perspective was still important, and so Taehyung was the one usually tasked with catching his cousin up to the latest happenings in the business world. Their occasional work-related meetings were also the only time he could get a hold of the eternally busy Kim Namjoon anymore and finally spend some time together, so Taehyung was always looking forward to them.
Cars trickled by slowly until he was off the main road, and by the time he made it to Namjoon’s part of the city, night had already descended, broody and starless. Although Taehyung didn’t know the streets there too well, he did eventually manage to find a place to park. With some time to spare, he turned off the engine and dug through his bag.
He spent some time looking over his planner and some of the documents he had picked up from his desk earlier, then scrolled through emails on his phone for a little bit. When he looked out of the car window again, the windows of neighbouring buildings were already lighting up one by one. There was probably another half an hour before he was supposed to pick Namjoon up, but he decided that he too could get something to drink and stop compulsively doing work in the car like some sort of an office loser.
Namjoon had always been a strange bird in their extended family, and while Taehyung thought of himself as someone probably also a little bit unusual for a chaebol heir, he was confident that at least he was doing a better job of hiding it. But there was no hiding Namjoon. He had been lanky and exceptionally nerdy as a teenager, and he had taken to any intellectual activity with impressive ease even at a young age. But if any of his family had had high hopes for his future as a leader in the family affairs, by the time he turned 15, nobody entertained such ideas anymore. Not only was his head full of poetry, philosophy and everything that was as far removed from business as possible and therefore highly impractical, but it was also by that time that his younger sister Yeji had resolved to prove that she should be the one to take over Yeoshin Cosmetics, and, owing to her undepletable energy and iron determination, she had gone on to successfully do so for close to five years already.
Namjoon continued being a nerd even well into his twenties, as far as everyone was concerned. A slightly better dressed and more respected one, and someone whose latest exploits were always a hot topic during family gatherings, but still universally agreed upon to be the obvious outlier in a large family of business people.
He was holed up in art spaces all day, and met with people who were widely known in only tight circles, and posted things too deep and dense for the non-initiated to decipher online. And, finally, he did, of course, still religiously keep Tuesday evenings free so that he could play bridge with his friends from university.
Now, Taehyung was on his way to finally meet this legendary club of card-playing nerds in the bar he was supposed to pick Namjoon up from.
He had, earlier in the evening, during a particularly boring last section of a meeting, tried to imagine another three Namjoons, but his imagination had fallen short. There couldn’t be more than one of Namjoon, he decided. Ordinary university overachievers could never compare to the Kim Namjoon, nor could any of his peers from affluent families who generally only cared about getting ahead. Perhaps his friends were just a bunch of regular guys who happened to share a passion for intellectual card games — people who turned up for work daily, phoned home regularly and never had to discuss shares and acquisition strategies in between housekeeping concerns and marriage gossip over family dinners.
Namjoon’s directions lead Taehyung to a small bar with a narrow glass front sandwiched between two other shops. The door opened with an inviting creek, when he gave it a push, to reveal a cozy and unassuming place with decorative brick walls and dark wooden table tops.
There were not too many people inside at this time but the lively buzz of conversation almost drowned out the soft background music.
Taehyung couldn’t find Namjoon when he looked around. His eye was caught, however, by several people who seemed to really be playing cards on a table near the entrance, and so he stepped closer without meaning to.
“Yah, Hoseok-ah,” one of them was saying loudly, “play the jack! The jack, Hoseok-ah.”
He was resting his card-holding arm on the table in a way that showed off his broad shoulders, and there was a leather jacket hanging on the back of his chair.
“I don’t have it, hyungnim,” the guy seated opposite him laughed. He had a full, radiant smile.
“The jack already turned up in the third or fourth trick,” the third man replied like he was stating a fact of the world.
“Yah, pay attention, Seokjin-ah,” the first man chided himself and slapped the table.
“This one is mine,” the third man said as he gathered the cards lying on the table. “And the other two are also mine,” he added, tossing the rest of his cards face up.
“Did you manage to get all of them?”
“He is one over.”
“Good game, hyung!”
“Yes, not bad. Although I stopped counting after we were done with the diamonds because I didn’t have any court cards in the other suits.”
“You should always count.”
“You should always count. Where did Namjoonie go?”
At the mention of Namjoon’s name Taehyung snapped out of his reverie and also looked around.
“Hi there!” the smiling man greeted him as soon as he noticed him. “Are you here for Namjoon? He said someone is coming to get him later.”
“Hi, yes. I’m his cousin, Kim Taehyung.”
“I’m Hoseok! And this is Yoongi-hyung and Seokjin-hyung. We sent Namjoonie to get more drinks because he was the dummy in this round, but he disappeared somewhere.”
“He does that,” Taehyung mumbled, stupidly. Namjoon’s friends turned out to be far more charming than he had expected and he felt unusually shy standing in their midst in an unreasonably expensive suit and having no idea what “a dummy” was supposed to mean in this context.
“Let’s get you a chair,” shoulder-guy offered and pulled one of the chairs from the neighbouring table for Taehyung. “Do you want something to drink?”
It turned out that Namjoon had briefly disappeared in the back to take a call. When he re-emerged, he asked Taehyung if he wanted to go immediately or if he wouldn’t mind staying for another two rounds, and Taehyung politely replied that he would be interested in observing, as long as it was not going to take too long.
After everyone was settled back around the table with a drink, the man Hoseok had introduced as Yoongi shuffled a deck of cards and dealt each of the players a hand, which they in turn got busy with examining and rearranging.
Shortly after, he opened the game by announcing “1 clubs”, which prompted everyone else to take turns in looking up from their cards and rattling off similarly cryptic phrases — “2 hearts”, “3 clubs” or, occasionally, “pass”.
Taehyung, who got seated next to Seokjin, so close that he was aware of the scent of his cologne, sipped on his coke and observed silently while the game went on around him. With all the attention diverted away from him, he was finally able to try and form an impression of Namjoon’s friends.
Just like Namjoon, he noticed, they had a welcoming air around them. They spoke easily, and smiled a lot, and they jokingly argued about who played what like they didn’t have a care in the world.
Seokjin, the man he noticed first and the one was seated next to now, fascinated him the most. He had a gently sloping nose and puffy eyes, and he looked handsome in a way good-looking people usually didn’t. It was like his handsomeness was beyond the set of his features, it radiated from somewhere within. He looked warm and youthful, boyish even, especially when his cheeks rose and his eyes crinkled in a smile. The colour of the loose dark locks framing his face looked almost too harsh for it, Taehyung thought. He thought Seokjin would look radiant if he dyed his hair in an auburn shade. He would look like an ancient god or like a sunset on fire.
Eventually, Namjoon’s announcement of “4 spades” was followed by “passes” from everyone else, and so Hoseok opened the first trick by playing a 3 of diamonds, while Yoongi laid down all of his cards face up on the table, neatly stacked by suit, and sat back for the remainder of the game.
The first couple of tricks gave Taehyung a general idea of how the game is played, and soon enough he took to glancing at Seokjin’s cards and trying to anticipate which card Seokjin will play. Perhaps Seokjin was aware of where Taehyung’s eyes kept lingering, because every now and then he would turn to him and ask “Which card should we play, Taehyung-ssi?” with a smile.
Taehyung, of course, had no idea about strategic moves or really anything beyond playing the most obvious choice, but Seokjin still put down the card he pointed at each time, without commenting on it.
When that game was over, they started another, and this time it was Hoseok who ended up winning the bidding, so Seokjin, as his partner, became the dummy and surrendered his cards for him to take control over.
Not being directly involved in the game anymore, Seokjin used the opportunity to help Taehyung understand more of what was happening. He leaned close and explained, in a soft murmur, the moves his friends made and what they were likely hoping to achieve by playing that way. He pointed a lot while he spoke, Taehyung noticed, but he also kept making eye contact. Whenever his soft brown eyes met Taehyung’s, Taehyung found his heart fluttering, and so eventually he decided to pretend he was engrossed in the game, eyes firmly on the cards on the table, only nodding to show Seokjin that he was following, at least until he could stop and make sense of the reason this man had such an effect on him.
“Taehyung-ssi, if you find the game interesting, I’m sure Seokjin hyung would volunteer to teach you,” Hoseok eventually remarked, looking over his cards slyly.
“Right, he was very popular with students who needed help in getting started when we were in university,” Yoongi added innocently, smiling in a way that convinced Taehyung that Namjoon’s friends were onto him.
“Yah,” Seokjin swatted at the table with an embarrassed yelp.
“Look, his ears turned red,” Yoongi pointed gleefully. Taehyung didn’t dare look. He felt his own neck and cheeks heating up.
“You are all embarrassing,” Seokjin said indignantly. “Don’t listen to them, Taehyung-ssi!” he turned to Taehyung, and then added a little more softly: “But of course I could show you the basics if you want to learn how to play.”
Taehyung regarded him and nodded somewhat stiffly. He was really unsure what was wrong with him tonight. He didn’t usually have trouble being charming or at least confident and moderately outgoing in social situations, but then there were Seokjin’s earnest doe eyes that kept searching for his, and his gentle manner of speaking that felt strangely unguarded and intimate.
“I’ll consider it,” he said eventually, finally managing to sound a little bit more like himself.
Seokjin smiled and nodded too. Only when he turned his attention back to the game, did Taehyung finally get the chance to steal a glance at one of his ears. It had turned adorably pink, just as Yoongi had pointed out.
Namjoon’s place was just a short drive from the bar, but that didn’t stop Namjoon from taking his time to spill all his impressions from the evening. He was obviously excited that Taehyung had finally met with his friends and even taken part in his beloved hobby after years and years of mocking it. Truthfully, Taehyung didn’t consider playing bridge as lame as he made it seem, and he admitted to Namjoon as much. He didn’t go on to confess that it had all started because he had been trying hard to seem as uncharitable and as no-nonsense as he was more or less expected to appear, way back, when he was mostly a clueless teenager, but he suspected that Namjoon knew all that anyway, and that he had probably figured it out way before Taehyung had acquired the honesty and courage needed to examine his own heart.
“I think what makes it contagious, hyung, is how invested you all are and how much fun you’re having,” he told Namjoon after he parked the car in the underground parking of his apartment building and they both stepped out. “Your friends seem really cool. You are really lucky.”
“That’s true, but bridge is also a very interesting game in itself. It requires communication and observation skills and strategic thinking. To be honest, I think you would do really well if you were to try it, Taehyung-ah. You’re good at this sort of thing.”
They were in front of the elevator now and they stepped inside when its doors opened with a soft “ding”.
“And we could really get Seokjin-hyung to teach you. Although Hosokie and Yoongi-hyung were trying to tease him, he is really good at teaching, and very patient.”
“Oh really?” Taehyung asked noncommittally.
“Yeah. To be honest they still bring that up just to mess around. Because of his good looks, Seokjin-hyung was kind of a female student magnet for our bridge club. A lot of people joined because of him, but nobody was very invested in playing seriously. They only wanted to have an excuse to hang out with him. But hyung still took his time with everyone, I think he really enjoyed teaching. We would rile him up saying he only did it to impress girls.”
“Ah,” Taehyung said and glanced away — at the display showing the changing floor numbers as the elevator ascended through the building.
Namjoon, bless his pure soul, could sometimes be quite clueless for someone this perceptive and sophisticated. Some things just flew right over his head. Taehyung was by now pretty sure that Namjoon’s friends had launched into teasing Seokjin because they had, unlike him, noticed the sparks that flew between Seokjin and Taehyung.
Or perhaps it was only Taehyung who imagined sparks. But Seokjin had at least very obviously been trying to break the ice between them the whole time. He had been looking at Taehyung unabashedly all evening and included him in the game as much as possible and used every opportunity to lean close.
It was just as well that Namjoon had no inkling of what had been happening right under his nose, Taehyung decided as he followed his cousin through the elevator door and into his apartment. He was relieved not to have to explain himself out of the almost crush he had developed on Namjoon’s hot nerdy friend over not more than half an hour spent in his presence.
Taehyung sobered by the time Namjoon poured him a drink, alcoholic this time, and they had laid out some of the documents he had brought with him on his cousin’s coffee table. University clubs, leather jackets and crushes were all far behind him already. His life was so much different now.
But even if he decided that crushing on any of Namjoon’s friends would be inadvisable, he didn’t really make much of an effort to stop his thoughts from going there. By the weekend he was already unable to tell if Seokjin was really unlike anyone he’s ever met, even if he only got to meet him for a little bit, or if months and months of loneliness were finally driving him insane.
To take his mind off things, Taehyung decided to personally attend to a couple of errands he could have probably entrusted to an assistant.
The weather was still nice enough, and while there was always so much hustle and bustle around the city on weekdays, on Saturdays, especially in the early afternoon, it felt like all the reason to rush has vanished from the world. So Taehyung dropped off his car at the office, ticked off a couple of not very urgent emails, and then decided to visit the venue at which they were supposed to hold one of the pre-Christmas events by foot since it wasn’t that long from the office by foot.
Which was how he ended up, on his way back, under a bus stop awning just a couple of blocks away from the safety of his office building, shivering and considering his options. The sudden rain wasn’t nearly bad enough to warrant getting one of the drivers to come pick him up on an off day, but it also didn’t look like it would let up any time soon. More likely than not Taehyung would be forced to make a dash for it and arrive at the office cold and soaked through with his suit completely ruined.
He was about to call a cab when a motorbike coming down the street decelerated abruptly and stoped right in front of him.
“Taehyung-ssi?” the man on the motorbike asked, removing his helmet. It was Kim Seokjin, Namjoon’s hot nerdy friend, rain water sliding down his leather jacket. Who would have known he also rode a motorbike.
“Kim Seokjin-ssi!” Taehyung exclaimed. “Where are you headed in this weather?”
“Actually was going home— I live not far from here,” Seokjin replied and gestured over the buildings further down the road. “How did you end up here like this?” he asked, blinking profusely because of the water that slid from the hair on his forehead and kept getting into his eyes.
“I misjudged the weather, unfortunately. But at least I am also done for today, so I can wait the rain out.”
“Oh,” Seokjin smiled bashfully. “If circumstances were different, I would invite you to my home— but unfortunately my vehicle has no roof,” he gestured again.
Taehyung smiled.
“That would be fun! Maybe you could give me that bridge lesson we talked about.”
Seokjin’s eyebrows rose adorably when he heard this. When Taehyung met his eyes, they were wide and unguarded. Taehyung didn’t really know how he knew. He wasn’t sure what made him think that way even back at the bar on Tuesday evening, but he was certain now — Seokjin liked him just as much as he liked Seokjin.
“You know what,” he said. “Why don’t we just do it anyway.”
“But— you’ll get all wet and your suit will get ruined—,“ Seokjin said in a small voice.
“It isn’t my favourite suit anyway,” Taehyung murmured in reply.
There was him and Seokjin and the gentle rumble of cars passing by and the knocking of raindrops against the pavement. He thought it was one of those moments he was going to remember forever.
And then Seokjin let out a shy laugh and stepped back.
“Alright, alright, hang on,” he said and hopped off the motorbike to produce another helmet from the storage compartment.
He handed it to Taehyung, who quickly put it over his head.
“You should take this too,” Seokjin said, unfastening his leather jacket. “Hopefully it could help in saving your suit a little bit.”
“No there’s no need—,” Taehyung began, but Seokjin was already wrapping it around his shoulders. “Thank you so much, Seokjin-ssi,” he blushed.
Seokjin sped down the road with Taehyung’s arms wrapped around his waist. Although he did his best to avoid puddles and tried to shield Taehyung from the pouring water as much as possible, Taehyung’s trousers still ended up soaked and the water that had slipped through the leather jacket collar had left blotches on his suit’s jacket. Drops of water were dripping from the tips of his hair, when he finally removed his helmet in the safety of Seokjin’s garage.
Seokjin offered him the shower while he boiled some hot ramyeon and threw whatever he was able to find in the fridge into the pan for a variation on kimchi fried rice. Taehyung waited up for him, while he also took a quick shower, and then they were both seated around his coffee table, warm in fresh shirts and trousers and happily munching away on the modest meal.
“Your place is really nice, Seokjin-ssi. It’s not big but it looks really functional,” Taehyung commented.
“Oh, yes. I worked on it myself,” Seokjin explained. “I’m a freelance architect. Yoongi and I were working together in an agency but he left to pursue music under Hoseokie’s bad influence, and after that I decided to also go my own way.”
“Is Hoseok-ssi perhaps a musician?”
“He is a dance teacher. He has his own studio where he teaches.”
“Oh, I see. Namjoonie hyung’s friends are all creative people just like him,” Taehyung laughed. “You already know what I do, of course,” he added after that. “Unlike hyung I was unsuccessful in escaping from family obligations.”
“Do you wish you could have done something else?”
“Sometimes I wonder what it would be like. But I don’t really know what else I could be doing. I don’t really have a passion like Namjoonie hyung.”
“I didn’t have a passion either. Apart from gaming,” Seokjin nodded towards the computer nestled in the corner of the room.
Spending time with Taehyung was pleasant. He had a musical laugh and, when he loosened up a little, his entire face crinkled with happiness whenever he laughed. When they were done with their meal, Seokjin put away the plates and bowls and took out a couple of card decks.
“No one ever mentions this, Taehyung-ssi,” he said as he shuffled one of them, “but my own bridge teacher told me the first thing to do was to count my cards to make sure I had 13— no it’s really good advice,” he continued when he saw Taehyung laughing. “There was this one time Hoseok and I played a great game in defence and we were almost going to win three tricks from Namjoon and Yoongi when Hoseok ended up one card short in the last trick.”
Seokjin dealt the cards into four hands and placed them on the table face up to walk Taehyung through the basic rules of the game. After that they played one game with all players’ hands visible again, and another one where Seokjin held the hands of the defending players, which required Taehyung to think a little bit more strategically about the moves he made.
“Man, this is exhausting,” Taehyung declared when he threw the last of his cards on the table, and then slumped back on the couch.
“No, you did really well. Namjoonie was all excited after you visited us on Tuesday. He kept messaging us how smart and observant you are and how you would excel in this game and I think he was right.”
“Really? Kept messaging?”
“Well, maybe one or two times,” Seokjin replied, as he gathered the cards together. He looked sideways at Taehyung. “He’s really proud of you, you know. He’s talked about you before.”
“Ah—,” Taehyung sighed and ran his hand through his hair, before letting it drop to his side. “To be honest, he’s mentioned you guys too, but we all assumed you were just a bunch of card-playing nerds.”
“Really? And what changed your mind?”
“Well,” Taehyung began and sat up, “for one, you’re far too handsome for a nerd. But also—,” he trailed off, uncertain.
Seokjin had leaned closer, seeking Taehyung’s eyes. He’d done it without meaning to all evening and he had noticed he kept doing it back in the bar. He couldn’t help it, Namjoon’s cousin Kim Taehyung had the most bewitching eyes. They were big and expressive and they changed like the weather— sometimes they were guarded like steel-grey clouds on a moody morning, sometimes they lit up like an afternoon in spring and sometimes they were weary like the earth seeking respite at sundown.
And now they were looking back at him with the full magical force that they possessed.
Seokjin leaned in, as if pulled by their gravity, but he was not alone. Even before his lips found Taehyung’s, he felt Taehyung’s fingers twisting in his hair.
With no reason to hold back, he kissed Taehyung as tenderly and as purposefully as he’d wanted— earlier when he saw him standing in the rain, or after that, when he’d stepped out of Seokjin’s bathroom with his soft dark hair turned frizzy from the moisture. He’d wanted it so badly and now Taehyung was kissing him and the way his hands trailed all over Seokjin’s neck and shoulders while they kissed made his head spin.
He kissed Taehyung, once, twice, three times, and then he pulled back so that he could get to look at his face again, but Taehyung was wrapping his arms around his shoulders and his neck and he was diving back in, and Seokjin had no choice but to follow, until he was on top of Taehyung, pressing kisses to his lips, his nose, just below his bewitching eyes, to his neck that was so beautifully bared.
“You are so beautiful,” he gasped when Taehyung released him again. He lifted himself up on his hands. He was looking down at the most beautiful man in the world.
Taehyung giggled and reached out to touch Seokjin’s face. He stroked his cheek gently, brushed his hair away from his forehead, and then he was leaning up for another kiss.
Taehyung jolted when Seokjin slipped his hands under his shirt and touched his skin for the first time.
“Seokjin-ssi—,” he slurred between kisses, “Seokjin-ssi—,“ he called again and Seokjin knew he was in love.
When Taehyung woke up he thought he might still be dreaming. But there he was, in Seokjin’s bed, and there was Seokjin’s graceful white arm wrapped around him, and the clothes that they’d discarded stumbling into bed last night were probably still scattered on the floor around them.
“Good morning,” Seokjin greeted when he felt Taehyung stir in his arms.
“Good morning,” Taehyung replied. “What time is it?”
“Somewhere between 8 and 11 probably,” Seokjin said then rose up on his forearm to look at Taehyung. “Do you have somewhere you should be today?”
“Hmm—? I don’t know. Where is my phone?”
Seokjin sat up and looked around a little theatrically, and while he did so the sheet that was covering him slid down from his torso and pooled in his lap. The full force of what Taehyung had done last night finally hit him.
“You know what,” he said weakly. “It doesn’t matter. Do you have any plans for today?”
“Uh— well, about that— It will be good manners on my part to make some breakfast for us, but really have nothing left in the fridge,” Seokjin ran his hand through his hair and turned to face Taehyung again. “So how do you feel about street food?” he asked with a hopeful smile.
“Sounds good,” Taehyung replied and dropped his head back down on the pillow.
Seokjin was still looking at him, a curious mixture of amazement and longing in his eyes, so Taehyung sighed and reached out his arms to pull him in for a kiss. He’d try to sort out his thoughts later.
Taehyung and Seokjin spent the whole day together. They had some bindaetteok on the go while they took a stroll along the river. The shoes that Taehyung had worn the day before were still unpleasantly damp, but none of Seokjin’s shoes could fit him, so he ended up borrowing a pair of old sneakers whose last outing would be Taehyung wearing them like slippers all day with the backs squished under his heels.
When walking around made them tired, they found a cozy matjib, where they could have a meal and rest their legs, and they stayed there until the sky started to darken, after which they climbed one of the nearby hills to get a good vantage point for watching the sunset.
At the end of the day Taehyung gathered his still damp clothes and shoes in a bag and Seokjin drove him home on his motorbike. Taehyung would have liked to part with a lingering kiss that would make him think of nothing else but Seokjin for the following week, but they were in public, so they had to make do with a discreet hand squeeze.
He still didn’t think of anything other than Seokjin the whole week anyway. Whenever his mind was idle or whenever he was alone with his thoughts, “I can’t believe I slept with Namjoon’s hot friend” was all that was on his mind. The unlikely way they crossed paths in the rain, the longing in Seokjin’s eyes, the way they undressed each other and covered each other’s bodies with kisses, it was as if he had it on film in his mind. Taehyung didn’t want to think about why he shouldn’t be doing all of this, not when he was so high on the feeling. He wanted to get to enjoy this for at least a little bit, and think about the consequences later. He wanted to see where it could go.
He asked Seokjin out to a moderately fancy restaurant on Thursday evening, half expecting him to turn up in his leather jacket on his motorcycle. Seokjin came smartly dressed though. He wore a soft tan sweater and dark fitted trousers and when the wine coloured his cheeks, he smiled over his glass in a way that made Taehyung’s knees go a little weak.
They spent the night at Taehyung’s apartment, so that he could leave early for work the following day, and he could barely force himself to leave a sleepy Seokjin in his bed and put on office clothes in the morning.
Whether it was at Seokjin’s place or in his own bed, waking up together was so nice, was the conclusion that Taehyung came to over the following weeks, so nice that he almost felt homesick all the days of the week when he wasn’t able to do it.
He lived so that he could turn up on Seokjin’s doorstep on the weekend, when they would cook or order delivery food, spend the evening cuddling or making out on the couch, while the tv or a game was blaring in the background, and spend the following morning rolling around on Seokjin’s bed. Seokjin was a tender lover and a comforting presence. Whatever mood Taehyung was in after another draining week in the corporate world, Seokjin accepted it without question. He seemed to be just happy to have Taehyung in his home. He woke him up with kisses and he sneaked up on him for back hugs whenever he was busy brushing his teeth or drying his hair. Although they were seeing each other only casually, Seokjin had somehow managed to make Taehyung feel as if they were already living together. So Taehyung went along with it and tried very hard not to think about what would happen if anyone in his family were to find out he was sleeping with another man.
Initially, Seokjin worried he was going to slip in front of Namjoon that he was seeing his cousin. Sure, he was known for his “poker face”, but he didn’t have the best track record of keeping secrets, especially secrets that made him as happy and giddy as getting to be with Kim Taehyung.
But as the weeks wore on and the weather turned colder, Seokjin adjusted to a new norm — one in which he got to wake up next to the most beautiful man in the world at least once a week, and where Taehyung’s soft brown hair falling adorably in his eyes was the first thing he saw in the morning.
By the time December was around the corner, Seokjin was buying groceries for two for the weekend and knew not to schedule anything work-related after from Friday evening to Monday morning.
He and Taehyung did sometimes meet outside of his home — on the rare occasions when he had work near Taehyung’s office and Taehyung was able to step out for a sandwich or a cup of tea. Taehyung always looked much more weary and reserved during working hours than he did at home, but it wasn’t that hard to make him break into an embarrassed smile — all Seokjin had to do to cheer him up was to act cute or say something silly.
The end of November and December were shaping out to be a busy for Taehyung. There were so many events that he was directly involved in and so many more receptions, dinners, and functions that he was obliged to attend that it looked like he and Seokjin would be unable to spend any time together until the year was over. Seokjin was a little sad, of course — it was the first time that he had someone he wanted to spend the Christmas holidays with, and he had grown so used to Taehyung turning up at his doorstep with wine or fruits at the end of the week and going almost limp in his embrace. But he used some of his newfound free time to organise things around the house and go shopping for presents for his family and especially his adorable baby nephew.
He ended up picking a present for Taehyung too. Although it was difficult to shop for a man whose daily office wear probably cost more than the furniture in Seokjin’s apartment, in the end he found an expensive dark green scarf with a classic design that looked like the perfect gift. The material was soft and warm and Seokjin hoped it would go well with one of Taehyung’s overcoats. He thought it could even be romantic, having Taehyung wear a token of his love and support all winter long.
Seokjin spent his birthday Taehyungless — he had lunch with Namjoon in a place close to his gallery, then Hoseok came around in the afternoon with cake and an invitation to his dance school’s end of the year showcase, and in the evening he met with Yoongi for a couple of drinks. He was about to try to badger Yoongi to coming over to Seokjin’s place instead of holing back inside his studio like an insomniac, when his phone buzzed.
“Must be another person calling to wish me happy birthday,” Seokjin said happily and fished out his phone from his pocket.
Taehyung was calling.
He hesitated and cast a wary glance at Yoongi, who waved his hand and nodded, probably thinking Seokjin was just trying to be polite. It would be weird not to pick up now, and it would be equally weird to get up from the table to do so. He and Yoongi had never really had secrets from each other, mostly because both of them were similarly uninterested in things that weren’t any of their business and never made a judgement or pried further whenever the other shared something.
“Hello?” Seokjin said, as he put the phone to his ear.
“Hyung!,” Taehyung’s voice rang through the receiver. “I managed to sneak out a little bit earlier. Do you want to come over? Are you at home? I can come and pick you up.”
“Uh— I’m having a glass with a friend at the bar,” Seokjin mumbled.
“Oh—oh. Is— is Namjoonie-hyung there?”
“No, no. Hang on, I’ll call you back in a little bit.”
He exhaled and put his phone back in his pocket.
“Something wrong?” Yoongi asked. “Do you have to go?”
“Oh no, no, everything is alright,” Seokjin replied. He grabbed his almost empty glass and turned it around in his hands. “Actually, there’s that — I’ve been seeing someone.”
“Really? That’s great! Or not that great, judging by the look on your face.”
“No it’s just— uh, you know, complicated,” Seokjin paused and pushed the glass away. He could trust Yoongi to be discreet. “It’s Namjoonie’s cousin Taehyung.”
“Oh,” Yoongi said. “How did that even happen?”
“Ah well actually, it’s a bit of a cliche,” Seokjin chuckled. “I ran into him on the weekend after he came to the bar. It was raining and he was stranded without a ride, so I took him home on my motorbike and we slept together.”
“Damn, hyung,” Yoongi shook his head. “He was that into you?”
“Yeah, I can’t believe it either. I mean,” Seokjin frowned and took a gulp from his glass, “there’s you know— not much I can offer to a chaebol heir of all people. I think it's just a casual thing for him and it will fizzle out eventually. But he seems to really like me. And I’m head over heels in love with him already.”
“Huh, yes, it must be difficult for him. I mean, dating someone not that traditional for someone in his position.”
“Yeah,” Seokjin scrunched his nose and gave a sad smile. “We haven’t really talked about,” he gestured vaguely with his hand, ”getting serious and things like that. But he has told me that he’d prefer it if Namjoon didn’t know. I get the feeling he’s never told Namjoon about— you know.”
“He should. Namjoonie would be supportive of that.”
“Yes, but he has a little bit of a letting things slip issue.”
“Oh yes, he’s way worse than you.”
“What do you mean worse than me?” Seokjin asked in mock offence and slapped the table.
“Oh, come on, hyung! Both Hoseok and I knew you were besotted with that boy even before we got to shuffle the cards. And with the way you keep smiling dumbly when you get texts when we’re hanging out, honestly I’m surprised even Namjoon hasn’t asked you if you’re going out with someone.”
“Why didn’t you say anything then?”
“Well, you know, hyung,” Yoongi shrugged his shoulders as if Seokjin should really know. “You’re kind of weird about personal stuff. We thought you needed time or something. But Hoseok was planning to ask you if you want to bring anyone to our New Year’s gathering. Didn’t he?”
“Hm, no. But he kept going on about how he had extra tickets for the showcase. I just assumed he meant my brother and his wife. They don’t go out a lot because of the baby now.”
“Well, he is about as sly and subtle as you are,” Yoongi smirked and leaned back on his chair.
“Yah, Yoongi-yah!” Seokjin grumbled. “Anyway, Taehyung called me just now. He wants to meet up. He’s getting really busy now that the holidays are approaching and we can’t see each other a lot.”
“Of course, hyung. You should go meet him. I’ll take a cab to the studio, do you need me to drop you off somewhere?”
“No, actually, I’ll stop by my place. I got him an early Christmas gift and I want to pick it up.”
“That’s sweet,” Yoongi commented and smiled in a way that Seokjin knew meant he was really happy for him.
Seokjin called Taehyung to come pick him up on his way to his apartment and then stumbled home quickly — only to change and grab Taehyung’s present from the wardrobe where it had been sitting gift-wrapped since he bought it. Taehyung’s car was waiting for him by the curb by the time he made it back downstairs.
“Hi, hyung,” Taehyung smiled and reached for Seokjin’s shoulders, when he entered the car. “Happy birthday,” he whispered into Seokjin’s hair and squeezed his arms tight around him. “I missed you so much.”
“I missed you too,” Seokjin replied when Taehyung released him. They bumped their heads affectionately and Taehyung shifted into gear, so that they could finally take off.
Seokjin was bouncing on the heels of his feet, the bag with Taehyung’s present clutches to his chest, and Taehyung was chewing on his lips while the elevator was ascending through the floors of his apartment building. Every time their eyes met, Taehyung’s face bloomed into a tender smile and he averted his gaze.
Finally, they were at his floor and through his apartment door. Only when it beeped closed behind them, were they finally free to sate their longing for each other. Seokjin backed Taehyung into the wall the way he knew Taehyung loved and proceeded to kiss him with all of the passion that was pent up inside him. He managed to get a bit of Taehyung’s lips but mostly it was his teeth and chin and his nose because Taehyung couldn’t stop giggling. His soft melodic laugh was resonating though the hallway. He slid in Seokjin’s grasp and rested his forehead on Seokjin’s chest to calm down.
“Sorry, sorry,” he gasped, then looked up at Seokjin with those enchanting eyes and slid up his hands along Seokjin’s chest. “You look really hot, hyung.”
Seokjin looked back at Taehyung with all the smoulder he could muster, and Taehyung broke eye contact once again, his face flying into Seokjin’s shoulder this time.
“Tae, Tae, Tae,” Seokjin chanted and planted kisses on his temple, behind his ear, in his cheek, along his neck.
“What, what, what,” Taehyung replied breathlessly, wiggling and squirming in his hold.
“I’m afraid I can’t live without you,” Seokjin whispered earnestly.
“I’m sorry, hyung,” Taehyung replied when he composed himself. “I miss you too. What’s that?” he asked of the bag Seokjin was still clutching, when he reached to take Seokjin’s hands.
“Oh, it’s a present for you. For Christmas and your birthday.”
“Really? Can I open it?”
“Of course!” Seokjin said and handed him the bag.
“It’s a scarf? It’s beautiful,” Taehyung gushed running his hand over the smooth material.
“Let me,” Seokjin said and wrapped the scarf around Taehyung’s neck.
“Thank you, hyung,” Taehyung said and gave Seokjin a soft kiss. “I’ll wear it all winter long.”
“By the way,” he added as he led Seokjin by the hand to the living room, “I have nothing in the fridge, so we should order something in. Have you eaten?”
December wore on uneventfully. Apart from spending time with his parents or his brother’s family, playing bridge on Tuesday evenings and attending Hoseok’s end of the year showcase, he did nothing remarkable. Hoseok had proudly introduced his new assistants Jimin and Jungkook to Namjoon, Yoongi and Seokjin and had thanked them for attending, playfully scolding each one of them for not bringing a date.
Seokjin was fooling himself if he was thinking he was handling the whole situation with Taehyung in a mature manner. He sulked whenever he passed by brightly decorated stores and he looked at couples he saw walking together with jealousy.
Seokjin and Taehyung still texted a lot, and occasionally Taehyung called, or more often left video messages from his bed at odd hours, in which he looked almost passed out and like he’d had no energy to even take off his dress shirt. Seokjin kept replaying these messages, studying the moles on Taehyung’s face and the way his eyelids drooped when he was tired.
He had another memory to cherish and to tide him over his loneliness — the last night he and Taehyung spent together. Taehyung had put a big band music vinyl that sounded as warm as the whiskey in their glasses and that let out pops and crackles like in an old romantic movie on his record player and he and Seokjin had slow-danced to old-time jazz music, Taehyung guiding Seokjin with his hand on his waist the whole time and looking at him like nothing except the two of them and the music existed in that moment. Later, Seokjin had crawled over Taehyung and kissed him all over and made his body rock and shake with pleasure.
“What do you even see in me, Kim Taehyung,” Seokjin wondered aloud whenever his thoughts took him to that night, and then went back to working, cleaning, cooking or whatever task he’d been neglecting while daydreaming about the man he’d met in a bar and saved from the rain.
At long last January arrived and the last-minute snow of December turned into slush and mud, and without all the holiday decorations, the city turned a harsh and lonely sort of grey. Taehyung and Namjoon had been away to a fancy resort in the country side for New Year’s eve but they were back a couple of days later and Taehyung’s car had barely reached the city, before he called:
“Hyung, are you home? Can I come?”
They were lazing in bed the following morning, a working day in which neither of them had any pressing work to be done, Seokjin with his head resting on Taehyung and his arm thrown around his middle, and Taehyung perched up on the pillows with his hands carding slowly through Seokjin’s hair.
“Hyung, what are your plans for this year?” he asked idly at some point.
“I don’t know,” Seokjin replied. “Work. Maybe finally save up for a car. Or redecorate the living room. Or,” he leaned back to have an unobscured view of Taehyung’s face, “go on a vacation. What do you think? We can go snowboarding somewhere. Book a small house with a fireplace and sit around it with mugs of cocoa in the afternoon.”
“Snowboarding?” Taehyung mused, continuing his gentle ministrations.
“Have you ever tried it?”
“No. I can ski though.”
“Ah, skiing. The elite winter sport.”
“Why are you being like that,” Taehyung complained and poked Seokjin’s cheek.
“Well? What do you think? Should we go?”
“Sounds fun, hyung,” Taehyung sighed wistfully and tilted his head towards the ceiling. “I’ll check my schedule and let you know,” he added, glancing back at Seokjin.
The end of the year was the time Taehyung got to see his extended family the most but also a time during which other partners, old acquaintances and other interested parties always sprang up seemingly from nowhere. With every new event and every important guest he felt like had to don a mask in front of, his paranoia grew. There were days in which he thought the most charitable thing would be to break off this thing he had with Seokjin and get on with his life as a respectable businessman, but the mere thought of that made him invariably reach for his phone and seek comfort from Seokjin himself, and more than a minute spent talking to him convinced him that he could never for the life of him part from him and that keeping him close was worth all the trouble he was sure to get into.
By the time he had to pack his suitcase and leave the city for the annual New Year’s celebration event, he was exhausted by emotional whiplash. Perhaps the best thing would be to keep going the way he was going, and hope Seokjin would be understanding enough not to ever raise the question of where their relationship was going. Which was a pretty depressing thought — Seokjin, if anyone, deserved a kind and generous partner who was ready to give him everything, and not a coward who planned to keep avoiding the issue for as long as possible.
Seokjin proposed spending a weekend away in the mountains together, when they met up after Taehyung returned. He’d given him that hopeful smile that never failed to make Taehyung’s heart squeeze with affection, and Taehyung just couldn’t say no. He thought it over the following week — and how lame it would be to make an excuse he couldn’t come due to his work commitments.
There would be nothing suspicious about going skiing with a friend, of course, but the same couldn’t be said about going with Namjoon’s friend that he was supposed to have met only once of all people. Taehyung had wanted to come clean to Namjoon several times during the holidays but each time the words were on the tip of his tongue, he found he couldn’t go through with it.
Namjoon was the person he felt closest to, besides his mother and his father, and probably the person who knew Taehyung best, but Taehyung kept worrying about what he would think about him. And if he were to entrust Namjoon with one of his most important secrets, could he later also do the same thing with his parents? He knew Namjoon to be kind and welcoming, but if Namjoon knew about Taehyung’s sexuality, would he judge him for the rest of his life, if Taehyung decided to give up on love and keep living pretending to be who he wasn’t?
All of these thoughts tormented Taehyung and paralysed him with fear, made his mind go in circles, and so he kept putting off giving any answer to Seokjin’s suggestion.
Towards the end of January, Taehyung was tasked with showing a potential partner from Japan around their offices and accompanying her during her visit to Seoul. She arrived on Thursday and stayed over the weekend, and Taehyung was with her almost the entire time until he sent her off at the airport early in the afternoon on Tuesday.
He texted Yeji to let her know the woman was safely on her way, and he immediately received a reply from her, in which she thanked him for sacrificing his weekend and advised him to take the rest of the day off. With nothing much to do, Taehyung ended up driving to Namjoon’s gallery. He thought he could hang out with his cousin for the afternoon and then ask him to tag along to his bridge club meeting, and in between he could maybe finally tell him everything.
It quickly became obvious that this was, naturally, an extremely stupid idea. Taehyung couldn’t really find a casual opening in the conversation in which he could slip a confession such as “by the way, I’m sleeping with your hot friend” during the entire afternoon, and when they were on their way to the bar, he was already so busy overthinking the situation that he nearly caused a road accident.
“Taehyung-ah, are you okay?” Namjoon asked, when they settled in the bar, concerned. “Is Yeji working you too hard? I can tell grandma to talk some sense into her.”
“No, no, hyung, I just got distracted.”
“Are you sure? I didn’t want to say anything but you look kind of down lately. I worry for you.”
This was it, this was his opening. Taehyung was going to confess everything and ask Namjoon for his opinion and advice. But just as he was about to speak, Hoseok entered the bar and shouted with delight upon seeing Taehyung:
“Taehyung-ssi! So nice seeing you again!”
Yoongi and Seokjin followed him through the door soon after. Seokjin was happy to see Taehyung, but he looked obviously confused. He opened and closed his mind, maybe wondering how he should address him in front of Namjoon, and so Taehyung shot him an apologetic look.
“Hello, Yoongi-ssi and Seokjin-ssi,” he said, the words rolling off his tongue with some difficulty.
Seokjin played along. He greeted Taehyung warmly and pulled up the chair next to him.
“Are you playing with us tonight?” he asked.
“I still don’t know the rules,” Taehyung answered shyly. “I’ll just watch.”
“Ah, no, come on, you’ve got to play,” Hoseok cut in. “We’ll help you! It will be fun, you’ll see.”
“Yes, Taehyung-ah, since you’re here, you should at least try,” Namjoon joined in, and Yoongi also nodded in agreement.
“I’ll play with you, Taehyung-ssi,” Seokjin said and pressed his knee to Taehyung’s under the table.
“Okay, okay, okay, but just one?”
Taehyung ended up playing partnered with Hoseok, with Seokjin guiding him for the whole evening, of course. It was easiest whenever he ended up being the dummy — bidding seemed pretty straightforward whenever he didn’t have a particularly strong or unusual hand, and after that, while his cards were on laid out on the table for Hoseok to play with, Seokjin quietly taught him how to shuffle the decks properly. It was slightly more difficult to play defence with Hoseok — as far as Taehyung gathered the objective was to give their opponents as little tricks as possible and try to waste their cards or mess with their strategy. Taehyung didn’t have enough experience in the game to even begin guessing what Yoongi’s or Namjoon’s strategies were whenever they lead the game, so he always waited for Seokjin’s okay before he played a card. Seokjin just nodded or sometimes pointed to a different card, and he patted Taehyung’s thigh affectionately under the table, whenever he won a trick.
The most difficult task was, by far, the one time Taehyung had been dealt a very strong hand and ended up having to lead the game. Seokjin patiently lead him through the entire thing with gentle reassurances such as “don’t panic, Taehyung-ssi” or “take their trumps first” or “you can play this later when you are sure one of them doesn’t have the queen” and in the end Namjoon cheered for him loudly:
“Yah, Taehyung-ah! I told you you’ll do well!”
“It’s been refreshing having you, Taehyung-ssi,” Hoseok said when they finally put away the cards and got ready to leave. “Usually Seokjin-hyung is much more annoying when we play but it looks like he tried to pretend to be cool tonight to impress you.”
“Ah, really?” Taehyung replied shyly.
“You’re right,” Namjoon agreed. “He usually tries to be funny a little too hard.”
Taehyung looked at Seokjin with curiosity. He had crossed his arms across his chest and was making that sour smile face that Taehyung now knew as intimately as everything else about him.
“How will you get home, Seokjin-ssi?” he asked to change the topic. “Do you need a ride?”
“Actually, I live really close by,” he said, as if Taehyung didn’t know.
Taehyung glanced at Namjoon — he seemed to be busy looking for his phone, and Hoseok and Yoongi were putting on their coats and not paying any attention, so he squeezed Seokjin’s hand quickly, before calling for his cousin to let him know he was going to drop him off home with the car.
Taehyung drove Namjoon to his apartment, then took the long way to get home. He stopped at traffic lights and then continued driving but he felt lifeless on the inside, crushed. The evening he spent at the bar with Seokjin, Namjoon and their friends had mercilessly dashed all of his foolish hopes.
So he could tell Namjoon, he had felt brave enough to finally do it moments before the others had arrived, but even so nothing would really change. He would still have to hide from everyone who was not Namjoon, and the way Seokjin had sat next to him all evening pretending to be almost strangers with him had broken his heart. Imagining Seokjin doing this for years, going back home to an empty apartment, spending Christmases and birthdays alone, lying to his friends and relatives just to protect Taehyung, it was just too much. He had been greedy and selfish the day he had invited himself into Seokjin’s apartment and into his life and he had been fooling himself all the time after if he thought this story could have any other ending.
By the time Taehyung stepped inside his apartment and let his winter coat slide from his shoulders to the floor, he had come to terms with what he had to do. He had to end everything now, before his feelings and probably Seokjin’s feelings too grew any deeper and before Seokjin inevitably grew tired, bitter and broken-hearted.
He reached for his phone. A text from Seokjin had already arrived:
Kim Seokjin
Taehyung-ah, did you get home alright?
Yes, hyung, you?
He turned the phone in his hand and then bit his lips in resolution.
Hyung, about the mountain vacation. I don’t think it would be possible. You should go with someone else.
His phone vibrated almost instantly.
Kim Seokjin
Understood
Taehyung turned off the sound of his phone and chucked it carelessly to the living room coach. He stripped all of his clothes and got into the shower, mechanically washing his face, his hair, and the rest of his body. He brushed his teeth. Then he dug through his closet for pyjama pants, and then finally he curled up on his bed and cried, sniffing pathetically and letting tears slide along his cheeks until he fell asleep.
Seokjin didn’t call Taehyung to ask if he’ll come over on the weekend. It was not like he didn’t know the answer already. He could pretend that Taehyung had texted him he couldn’t go snowboarding with him because of his overwhelming work commitments, but deep down he knew what the refusal really meant. So he locked up his apartment early on Saturday morning and went to his parents place where he spent the weekend babysitting his nephew together with his mother.
Taehyung slowly started texting again over the following week, but Seokjin was not in the mood to open his texts. While he was still confused about why Taehyung had come to play bridge the previous Tuesday and about what could have pushed him to cut contact so abruptly after that, it was not difficult to imagine why he had turned down his offer to spend some time away. Maybe he had finally come to the conclusion that whatever had been going on between them was a dead end.
If Seokjin had to be honest with himself, he had been expecting that Taehyung would end things sooner or later, he just hadn’t been ready for it to happen so soon and over an ambiguous text. He had felt pretty hopeful once they were back together after the holidays. He had been planning to take Taehyung to the mountains on Valentine’s day and tell him how he really felt about him.
And now, he was angry at him. He was angry at Taehyung for barging into his home and for making him fall for him head over heels. He was angry at him for never leaving anything at Seokjin’s place except for a toothbrush. He was angry at him for being so hard to get over.
But mostly he was angry at himself, because he knew that if he was to talk to Taehyung again he’d probably end up begging him to go back to the way things were, and there was no point in hopelessly hanging on to something that was bound to end. It was safest to avoid talking to Taehyung at all.
Taehyung spent the most miserable Valentine’s day. In his adult life, he’d never spent Valentine’s day in any other way than alone, but he had also not ever spent it steeped in doubts and regret.
It wasn’t really the office and store decorations that finally broke him, nor the abstract and somewhat cheesy post on love that Namjoon uploaded to his social media, nor it was Yeji trying to set him up on a date with one of her assistants in jest.
But when he went home that evening and poured himself a drink, he sank on his couch and idly glanced towards the record player on the living room unit. In the madness of December, he had never even remembered to put the record he played on Seokjin’s birthday back. It was sitting there, gathering dust and mocking him for giving up on the best thing that had ever happened to him.
Taehyung got up from the couch and ran his hands through his hair nervously. He tossed his drink in the sink and grabbed his phone and car keys. It was still early and it was Tuesday. He knew where he had to go.
It was raining again. Taehyung hadn’t even bothered with a jacket when he’d feverishly hopped on his car and driven all the way to the bar, but now he had to make a dash through the cold rain to the entrance of the bar wearing nothing but his office shirt. He was looking up and down the street through his car window, bracing himself, when he spotted a familiar leather jacket.
“Hyung, hyung,” he called as he ran out of his car. “Seokjinnie-hyung!”
Seokjin turned, as if in slow motion.
“Taehyung?” he asked, confused.
“Hyung,” Taehyung panted as he finally caught up with him. His eyes were filling with water and his heart was about to fly out of his ribcage.
“Oh my God,” Seokjin muttered and dragged Taehyung by the hand until they were safe under the roof of the bar entrance. “What are you doing here?”
“Hyung, I have to talk to you!”
Seokjin regarded him and sighed.
“You’re dripping wet. Let’s get inside.”
“Hyung, I really want to talk to you,” Taehyung repeated, gripping Seokjin’s hands earnestly, once they were inside.
“Okay, okay, calm down,” Seokjin said. He waved his hand at Yoongi and Hoseok, whom Taehyung hadn’t noticed before, and pulled him towards one of the tables in the back.
They sat down on a bench. Their knees were knocking together because Taehyung still hadn’t released Seokjin’s hands and wanted them to keep facing each other.
“What is it, Taehyung-ah,” Seokjin asked softly eventually. His eyes had turned doe-like and vulnerable.
“Hyung, I’m sorry for— I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to— uh,” Taehyung stopped himself and ran a hand over his forehead. “Hyung, what I wanted to say is that I don’t want us to break up.”
Seokjin sniffed and wrinkled his nose.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Taehyung continued. “And this is why I thought it would be better to end it but, hyung,” he grabbed one of Seokjin’s hands and clutched it to his chest. “I’m in love with you. And although I know it will be difficult to be together, I’ll do everything in my power to be with you. I promise. I’ve thought about it so much and although I see no way now, I know we can make it if we are together.”
“Oh,” Seokjin said. He retrieved his hand and rested it in his lap. “Actually, I was planning to tell you the same thing,” he added at length, looking away. “I have feelings for you too.” He played with his fingers. “I don’t want to make trouble for you, really. I know it’s difficult.”
“So?” Taehyung asked.
“So?” Seokjin repeated.
“Will you be with me?”
Seokjin turned his head to look at Taehyung once more and broke into a small smile.
“Why are you so beautiful, Taehyung-ah?” he whispered, gently wiping Taehyung's damp forehead.
“Are you going to be with me, hyung?” Taehyung repeated bumping their foreheads together. “You have to tell me.”
“Are you going to dump me again?” Seokjin asked, but he was smiling.
“Never!”
“Will you come snowboarding with me?”
“I’ll come even if you wanted to snowboard at the other end of the world.”
“Can we tell Namjoon about us?”
“I’ll tell him tonight.”
“Okay,” Seokjin relented with a sigh, but Taehyung could tell he was barely keeping up with the pretence.
“I love you,” he whispered.
Seokjin smiled and leaned in to embrace him, and while he did so Taehyung pressed a small kiss to the tip of his red, red ear.
“I love you too,” Seokjin said earnestly, when he released Taehyung. “Hoseok has been secretly trying to find out what we are saying for the past 15 minutes. Actually I saw Namjoon entering a minute ago too. Should we go back to them?”
“Okay,” Taehyung said easily and took Seokjin’s hand once again.
“Seokjin-hyung? Taehyung? What’s going on?” Namjoon asked when he noticed Seokjin and Taehyung approaching the table around which he, Yoongi and Hoseok were sitting.
Taehyung turned to look at Seokjin but he just smiled and nodded with a smug “I heard you were going to tell him everything” expression. He sighed and gave Seokjin’s hand a squeeze.
“Actually, hyung,” he said, “It’s kind of a long story.”