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Even at this distance Kaneki could tell there was something wrong with Tsukiyama. Tears were streaked down his face, violet hair was far from its usual perfection, and his body language screamed distress. Tsukiyama looked extremely uncomfortable curled up on the bench, knees to his chest as he seemed to try to make himself disappear. As Kaneki approached, words mumbled in a variety of languages could be heard. He was certain that even if he could speak the languages he heard he would still have no clue what Tsukiyama was saying.
He came within feet of Tsukiyama and yet there was no sign that he heard him approaching. Or perhaps he was too far lost in his own mind to even care who might happen upon him. “Tsukiyama-san?” Kaneki called out to him as he got within arm’s reach of the bench.
Tsukiyama looked up at the sound of his name and his eyes widened as he saw Kaneki standing before him. “Kaneki-kun?” Tsukiyama whispered as if in disbelief. Why has he found me in such a pitiful state? Of all the people to have found him, of course it had to be the one he should be farthest from. Tears continued to fall down his cheeks and he made no attempt to fix his hair as he stood up and closed the distance between them.
Kaneki wasn’t sure what Tsukiyama was planning. He just watched as Tsukiyama continued to walk closer until there was barely a space between them. As Tsukiyama brought his arms up and slid them past Kaneki’s arms to wrap around his middle, Kaneki’s mind began racing. Is he going to try to hurt me? As strange as the situation was, Kaneki was fairly certain he meant him no harm. Even so, he had no idea how to react and opted to simply stand stock still as he waited for the Gourmet’s next actions or words.
A few moments passed with no change from either before Tsukiyama finally started to move and relief flooded through Kaneki. Before he even had time to let his guard drop, he realized his assumption had been wrong and the Gourmet didn’t plan to pull away. Instead, he simply adjusted his position.
He should turn Kaneki away, he knew this, and yet somehow he found himself drawing Kaneki closer to him. He bent down to rest his head on Kaneki’s shoulder and lowered his arms to circle Kaneki’s waist. Perhaps being near Kaneki would allow him to decipher the perplexing thoughts which had plagued his mind for weeks. There were so few people close to him, even fewer who were able to tolerate him, and hardly a handful who would ever allow him this near to them. “Kaneki-kun,” Tsukiyama breathed against his skin.
Kaneki froze, completely unsettled by the other’s actions and anxious to understand what he was trying to do.
Tsukiyama held back a sob as he felt Kaneki tense in his embrace and heard the sound of a knuckle crack. He deserved this, he knew he did, he didn’t deserve to hold Kaneki this close, this intimately, but he couldn’t stop himself. He was so alone, so lost, and Kaneki was the only one who he had any hope of finding comfort in, even if he didn’t deserve that much.
Tsukiyama took a deep breath to reassure him at the same moment Kaneki raised his arms to push him away. “Non non, Kaneki-kun, you’re fine. It’s fine…” He tightened his hold on Kaneki imperceptibly, reluctant to break the connection between them.
Kaneki relaxed, deciding that he owed at least a little trust to Tsukiyama after all this time, he let his arms fall back to his sides. It seemed unfair to force Tsukiyama to go through whatever was worrying him all alone.
“I wouldn’t,” Tsukiyama continued. “I can’t,” he whispered as he buried his face in the crook of Kaneki’s neck. “Not anymore.” He breathed.
“Tsukiyama-san? What are you doing?” While Kaneki might not see a problem in helping him in a desperate time, it certainly did not mean he trusted the Gourmet enough to be comfortable with his mouth so close to his skin. The sooner he figured out what was wrong with him, the better it would be for both of them.
He sounded more confused than alarmed and, for that, Tsukiyama was grateful. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore,” he whimpered. “My head hurts; my stomach hurts; it almost seems as if even my heart is in pain.” As vague as the confession was and as much as Tsukiyama didn’t understand it himself, it hurt his pride to profess his weakness to Kaneki.
He could tell from Tsukiyama’s actions that he wasn’t prepared for Kaneki to pry into his innermost thoughts. He didn’t want to force Tsukiyama to bare his soul to him when he clearly wasn’t ready. With that thought in mind, Kaneki decided that it would be best, simplest, if he started by questioning the other’s stomach ache.
“Have you been taking care of yourself, Tsukiyama-san? Sleeping enough?” Kaneki thought for a moment, “When was the last time you actually ate?” The Gourmet hadn’t had even a snack in the past few weeks from the food he brought to the house for everyone. Kaneki had simply dismissed it as him being his unusually picky self, but perhaps he hadn’t been eating at all.
Seconds passed as Tsukiyama tried to remember how long it had been since he last ate. What had my last meal even looked like? “…I don’t know.” His fists tightened in Kaneki’s shirt. What have I even been doing lately? Nothing seemed to make sense to him recently.
“What happened? Haven’t you been hunting? You’ve brought food to the house, why wouldn’t you have eaten any of it?” Kaneki could see no reason for Tsukiyama to be starving himself; it seemed to Kaneki as if it contradicted the Gourmet’s very nature to deny himself food.
“I can’t. Nothing seems appetizing anymore. The thought of food makes my stomach churn and I do not know why.” Tsukiyama had found no comfort even in recounting his most successful conquests. The idea of a new hunt seemed laughable to him when he considered the current state of his body and mind.
Another sob escaped Tsukiyama’s throat and Kaneki couldn’t help but pity the Gourmet in that moment. Kaneki relaxed his muscles and brought his arms up to wrap around Tsukiyama’s shoulders as he decided that the Gourmet didn’t seem to have any malicious intent towards him. To treat Tsukiyama with disdain in this situation would surely cause him nothing but more pain, and Kaneki had no reason to be unnecessarily cruel to him.
The action was so unexpected for Tsukiyama that he momentarily tensed up. Kaneki-kun can even be kind to a monster like me. The thought only caused him to sob harder as he clung to Kaneki to verify for himself that Kaneki was truly allowing this to happen.
Still confused by the entire situation, but wanting to comfort him in some way, Kaneki gently rubbed Tsukiyama’s shoulders and stayed there in silence as he worked through whatever was bothering him. He couldn’t even begin to guess what Tsukiyama was really distraught over or why he was acting in such a tactile way.
Gradually, Tsukiyama’s sobs quieted and became less frequent, fading away completely after some time, giving way to shaky breaths.
Now that he had calmed down, Tsukiyama was horribly embarrassed to have shown that side of him to anyone other than Kanae or Matsumae, let alone the one person who he is supposed to be strong in front of and be able to fight away enemies for. To show such weakness is simply pathétique. Once he regained his composure, Tsukiyama couldn’t help but notice how favorable his current situation was. The object of his desires was within his grasp, defenses lowered. It would be oh so easy to take a taste right now.
Ah, but he couldn’t do that, could he? Too many factors opposing him. He wasn’t dumb enough to think that he was still stronger than Kaneki; he knew he had long been surpassed in strength. Not to mention, he had spent such a long time working to gain Kaneki’s trust. To act just because a convenient situation had presented itself would be foolish. There was still plenty of time for him to continue planning. The biggest problem of all though, was his own body. His body seemed to reject even the idea of eating this appealing boy in front of him. After all, that was the reason he had been suffering in the first place.
Perhaps he could take a taste without causing any harm? With this thought in mind, Tsukiyama turned his head to the side and began to place butterfly kisses on Kaneki’s neck.
Kaneki tensed for a moment, his hands pausing on Tsukiyama’s back as he tried to figure out what the Gourmet was doing, or rather why he was doing it. “Tsukiyama?” Such an intimate act would have confused him even as a human. For a ghoul to act so physical, so affectionate, certainly seemed to be cause for confusion from what Kaneki had gathered since his change; ghouls didn’t generally trade affections with one another.
Confusion was clear in Kaneki’s voice, but it didn’t seem as if he was particularly opposed to what was happening, so Tsukiyama continued to push his luck. “Please Kaneki-kun,” he murmured, lips pulled only slightly away from the neck being lavished with kisses. As Kaneki seemed to accept this, and continued to rub circles into Tsukiyama’s back, he tightened his hold on Kaneki’s waist and resumed planting kisses.
With a sigh, Kaneki gave in to the situation and brought one hand up to play with violet hair. He didn’t particularly dislike Tsukiyama anymore; how could he after he has spent so many months supporting him and helping him reach his goals? He was still perplexed as to why he was acting this way, but it was clear that Tsukiyama needed someone to comfort him, and Kaneki understood his situation enough to realize there was really no one he could turn to. It was easy to understand another’s situation when it’s so similar to one’s own.
Silky hair twisted around and slipped through his fingers while his other hand remained tracing patterns on Tsukiyama’s back. Physical contact felt good after so long of keeping his distance from others and being cautious of even the people he considered friends. Perhaps Tsukiyama wasn’t the only one who found comfort in their actions; he couldn’t deny that the lips on his neck were pleasant.
Light kisses had been placed all around his neck and even on his collarbones where his shirt was able to be pulled down enough. All the kisses had been more than innocent, and Kaneki couldn’t help but wonder what the Gourmet was getting out of this. Just as he thought this Tsukiyama began to place open-mouth kisses to his neck. Ah, is he trying to taste me? While he couldn’t say he was happy with this thought, at least he had some sort of explanation.
Even from such small tastes, Tsukiyama was entranced by the magnificent flavor of Kaneki. Rather than feeling teased by these enticing tangs, it was as if he were sampling the finest hors d’oeuvres the world had to offer.
When one of his kisses lingered for a moment too long, Kaneki released a wearied sigh, If he continues this much longer, I’m going to have to stop him.
Mistaking this as a sigh of pleasure, Tsukiyama decided to place a mark on his neck. Placing his open mouth on Kaneki’s neck he began to lightly suck and drag his tongue across the smooth skin. The flavor that flooded his mouth caused Tsukiyama to let out a gasp as he felt a pang in his stomach. It had been so long since he last ate, and the travolgente flavor of his most precious meal was enough to send him to his knees in want. Pain so strong he was forced to let go of Kaneki and stumble backwards as he grasped his stomach.
“Sorry, Kaneki-kun, I need to sit down for a moment.” He slowly walked away until he reached the wall of a nearby store and slid down to the floor against it with a grimace. Throbbing pain compelled him to curl into himself as small as possible, and he knew the bench he had been on earlier would not allow him to do so.
Suffering was clear on his face, and Kaneki wanted to comfort him somehow, but he wasn’t sure what he could do to fix the situation. He stood in his same spot and tried to think of an answer while Tsukiyama tried to regain control of himself. “Would you like me to go back to the apartment and grab some food for you?”
His stomach groaned at the mention of food. “No, I cannot eat that. I do not know why, but the thought of food sounds utterly disgusting to me right now.” He let out a pitiful laugh at this confession. To think someone who had once been considered a leading connoisseur of food would be reduced to such a pitiful state; unable to indulge himself in even the lowliest of foods.
Kaneki was unsure of what he could do to help him, but he knew there must be some solution. If the thought of food disgusted him, then he just had to find something which wouldn’t be repulsive to the Gourmet’s finicky palette. Clearly, he would not want to settle for days-old, over-refrigerated meat, but perhaps he would be able to eat something he considered a “rare delicacy”.
It wouldn’t be the first time that Kaneki had willingly let another ghoul sample his flesh, but he couldn’t help but be slightly uncomfortable at the thought of giving the Gourmet exactly what he’d been aiming for from the beginning. Kaneki knew that he wasn’t still by his side for such a simple reason as wanting to devour him. Buying and furnishing an apartment for him and his group, befriending Hinami and taking her out to cheer her up even when Kaneki wasn’t around, bringing flowers each time he visited – these weren’t things someone did for a single meal.
The Gourmet, however, seemed to still act like he planned on making a meal out of him. Kaneki just needed Tsukiyama to realize the truth for himself before he could offer up his flesh without reservations. He had intended to wait for him to apologize on his own, but honestly he’s not even sure if the Gourmet knew what an apology was. Wanting to finally clear the slate between the two Kaneki took a deep breath and looked down at him, “Do you regret what you’ve done to me in the past, Tsukiyama-san?”
Wide eyes looked up at the question, Regret? Tsukiyama sat there staring, mouth repeatedly opening slightly but closing without a sound. He’d never thought about it like that, did he regret trying to eat such a delicious smelling boy? Non, that would be ridiculous. Why would I ever regret going after a meal? “Ah!” that shooting pain struck his core once more, causing him to break eye contact with Kaneki and curl into himself.
Kaneki knew this wouldn’t be so simple, “Tsukiyama-san, please… Do you feel bad about trying to eat me?” He knelt down to be on eye level with Tsukiyama.
Tsukiyama finally looked back up to Kaneki, with a pitiful little smile on his lips, “I do not know, Kaneki-kun.” He closed his eyes briefly as he took a deep breath, upon opening them he continued, “I cannot say I know what it means to regret one’s actions. But I also cannot comprehend what causes this pain every time I look at you, every time I try to eat, every time I get too close to you. Perhaps this is regret.”
Not exactly the answer Kaneki was looking for, but he wasn’t sure if the Gourmet was capable of giving him the answer he really wanted right now. “Tsukiyama-san, do you still want to eat me?”
A question which once would have caused him to salivate, now only caused him to grimace. “Even if I wanted to, I do not believe I would be capable of it anymore. The thought of harming you causes me more pain than I ever would have imagined possible.” A pitiful laugh escaped his mouth, “Vouloir le beurre at l’argent du beurre. I still want you, but I do not want to eat you. How could that even be possible Kaneki-kun? What could that even mean? I haven’t the faintest idea.” A bitter smile took its place on his lips, and he averted his gaze from Kaneki’s. His arms still clutched tightly around his stomach.
Figuring this was as close to a sufficient answer as he was ever going to coax out of Tsukiyama, he scooted closer to the other, his knees now nearly touching the other’s feet. He reached out a hand to place his palm on Tsukiyama’s cheek. “Tsukiyama,” he said as gently nudged the other’s face back up to meet his eyes, “Would you like a taste?”
At those words, Tsukiyama’s eyes shot open as wide as they could and he jerked his head away from Kaneki’s touch. “Kaneki! Non! I cannot! How could you even suggest such a thing?” His expression was torn, Kaneki could tell that he didn’t want to say no, but he knew he couldn’t give in so easily.
Tsukiyama’s mouth salivated at the offering and the next bout of pain hit him twice as hard. He couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped his throat, and tried to hide his now flushed face in shame. How could he let Kaneki see him in such a pitiful state? He was disgusting; to think that he would still give in so easily to the idea of eating Kaneki.
His brain raced as he tried to comprehend why Kaneki would make such a suggestion. Is this a test? Is he trying to see if I am truly loyal to him? No matter how Tsukiyama thought about it, he could not make sense of it. What could Kaneki possibly gain from letting him have what he wanted; especially when such a desire would only cause agony on the other’s part?
Kaneki moved closer to him, and placed his fingers under Tsukiyama’s chin to get him to look back up at him. “Tsukiyama, look at me… Please.” With a little bit of effort, Tsukiyama finally raised his head, and his eyes were once again filled with tears.
Tsukiyama could not understand why Kaneki was giving him such a kind, little smile. Why would he waste such kindness on a monster like me? Tears fell as he thought about how truly awful he had been to Kaneki.
Soft hands tenderly wiped away the fallen tears, then moved from his face to wrap around his back. “Come here, Tsukiyama.” Kaneki said as he pulled him into another embrace. “It’s okay.”
He could not fathom why Kaneki wanted to help him. Even if he was truly offering and this was not just a trick to test him, he was unsure of whether he would be able to accept his offer. Despite his uncertainties about eating, he was more than glad to accept whatever simple comfort Kaneki was willing to offer. Physical comfort was scarce in his life, yet something he craved more often than someone like him probably should.
He slowly fought off the pain from his stomach and repositioned his legs to allow Kaneki move closer; the position he had been in was clearly straining his muscles and seemed extremely uncomfortable to Tsukiyama.
Kaneki moved forward on his knees and wrapped his arms more tightly around Tsukiyama. “Tsukiyama, you should know better than anyone that ghouls must eat to survive. I’m not sure I can completely understand why you’ve been denying yourself food, but I’m willing to help you recover. You say everything seems disgusting to you, but surely you can’t think the same of me. Will you accept my offer in order to help yourself?”
A soft, whining noise escaped Tsukiyama’s mouth as he brought his forehead to rest on Kaneki’s shoulder once more and circled his arms around his waist. As he considered Kaneki’s words, he made the mistake of taking a deep breath. Lost in his thoughts, the scent overwhelmed his senses and the thought of eating Kaneki was nearly too much to bear. He tightened his grip on Kaneki and took a shallow, shaky breath to calm himself.
“I cannot betray you, Kaneki-kun.” The words were nearly painful coming out of his mouth, but he knew they were the proper choice. His stomach ached with the scent of Kaneki filling his nose and the knowledge that he was unable to partake in such a decadent meal. “What kind of sword would I be if I cut my own master?” A pitiful laugh punctuated the end of his question.
He had known that convincing Tsukiyama he was allowed to accept his offer would be tiring, but he wasn’t sure precisely how much effort it would take or what exactly he could say. Sighing at the difficult task, Kaneki countered, “What good is a sword that is so weak from hunger that it cannot be used?”
Such a pitiful noise left Tsukiyama at the question that Kaneki nearly regretted saying as much. He brought a hand up to card through Tsukiyama’s hair as his other rubbed gentle circles into his back and he felt hot tears fall down the front of his shirt.
“I’m sorry Kaneki-kun. Perhaps I do not deserve to stay by your side as your sword.” His hands clenched around the material of Kaneki’s shirt. Why does the thought of leaving Kaneki seem so dismal? His next words were spoken so quietly and quickly that even he wasn’t sure they had been said aloud, “Please don’t make me leave.”
“Tsukiyama, please don’t misunderstand me. I don’t want you to leave.” Ah, did I mean to say that? Would I miss Tsukiyama? He was unsure of when he developed such an attachment, but he was certain now that he would be sad if the flashy man were no longer around. “I just want you to recover and get back to normal.”
His hold on Kaneki’s shirt loosened, but the tears continued to flow down his face. “Why, Kaneki-kun? Why do you care?” The thought that Kaneki wanted him seemed absurd. What use could he have for someone as pathetic as me?
Tsukiyama felt Kaneki’s chest vibrate as he hummed. “Perhaps you aren’t the only one who doesn’t seem to understand anything today.” He held back a wince at his own statement; the words seemed a bit harsh as soon as they left his mouth. He quickly thought of a way to soften them, “Why do you not want to leave?”
He waited a beat to see if Tsukiyama might actually have an answer, but when none came he continued, “I suppose the answer to both of those questions might be the same.”
He drew his hand away from violet hair, and brought both his arms down to pull Tsukiyama into a simple hug. Tsukiyama tightened his own arms in response, and let out a sniffle. They both basked in the comfort of each other’s arms for a while.
Now that the pain in Tsukiyama’s heart had been appeased by Kaneki, he was left to focus once more on the pain in his stomach. When it finally became too unbearable, he let out a groan and went to pull away from Kaneki, intending to wrap his arms around his own middle.
Kaneki pulled back at this motion, but grabbed Tsukiyama’s forearms, not letting him bring his arms to comfort himself. Looking into his eyes he pleaded, “Tsukiyama-san, please accept my offer.”
Tsukiyama’s face openly reflected the shame he felt for letting his hunger get this out of control. Kaneki could tell by the tension in his jaw that he didn’t want to speak the words that left his mouth, “Are you sure this is alright?” He immediately broke his gaze away from Kaneki’s once he had spoken.
If he hadn’t been staring at Tsukiyama as he spoke, he probably never could have believed him capable of speaking in such a small, sad voice.
“Yes, Tsukiyama, I promise it’s alright. Please just eat again.” Kaneki ran his thumbs over the insides of Tsukiyama’s wrists to reassure him.
After a moment, Tsukiyama raised his eyes to meet Kaneki’s once more and gave a tight nod. He knew that this would probably be his only opportunity to ever taste the flesh that he had so desperately wanted from the beginning. Why should I continue to deny it when Kaneki is practically begging me to accept? The thought seemed forced even to himself.
He was graced with that same kind, little smile at his assent as Kaneki had given him earlier. His heart nearly stopped at the thought that he was going to injure this person who had shown him nothing but kindness when he had never even deserved it in the first place.
His wrists were released as Kaneki pulled away a bit to remove his shirt. Tsukiyama watched as he folded it and placed it on the ground before he brought a hand up to the side of Tsukiyama’s neck to guide him to his shoulder. Doubts filled his mind as he lowered his head, I should not be doing this. I can find something else to eat. I will just force myself- A stabbing pain shot through his stomach at the thought of going hungry for any longer. Ah, I really am an idiot.
Hunger won out over his misgivings and he let Kaneki guide his face the rest of the way to his neck. His mouth hovered over pale skin, and as he inhaled he allowed himself to be completely taken over by Kaneki’s scent. Ah, such a lovely meal should be properly enjoyed. He turned his nose into Kaneki’s neck and deeply inhaled the exquisite scent. So many months of training and battle have added such a wondrous complexity to his dolce fragrance.
Intent on showing his “meal” the proper respect and adoration it deserved, he placed his lips against the tender skin. For a second time that day, Tsukiyama found himself peppering this neck with indulgent kisses. With each kiss, he lingered longer; from chaste, butterfly kisses to intimate, open-mouth kisses. The glorious flavor of Kaneki dancing over his tongue. His teeth now scraping along the surface, trying to find the perfect spot to finally indulge himself.
“Tsukiyama-san,” Kaneki breathed, “please get on with it.” He tried his hardest to let the Gourmet do things the way he wanted, but all of the attention began to get almost overwhelming. He knew the Gourmet simply wanted to enjoy his meal, but the kisses felt too intimate to Kaneki, particularly since he wasn’t used to receiving any sort of attention like that.
Lips paused for a moment at Kaneki’s words, and he silently bemoaned the idea of hastening his meal. But I must listen to Kaneki-kun’s words. One final tender kiss was placed to his shoulder before Tsukiyama pulled back his lips to bear his teeth. His kakugan, long since having appeared suddenly ached at the thought of food filling his stomach.
Kaneki relaxed his body and tried not to think about the pain he would be in momentarily, hoping to dull the pain even a little. Dull teeth touched his skin, and he tried to keep his mind blank. The feeling of his skin breaking under the pressure of Tsukiyama’s mouth was intense; such a strong contrast to the pleasant kisses which were placed there moments before caused Kaneki’s body to go on defense. He felt his kakugan activate and had to focus on keeping his kagune at bay. One hand flew up to grip Tsukiyama’s hair as the other dug into his back.
Blood burst into Tsukiyama’s mouth and the flavor was intoxicating. His teeth dug deeper and deeper into delicate flesh. None of his fantasies could even come close to the incredibly complex taste of the real thing. Euphoria washed over him as he finally tasted what he imagined would only ever be a dream. He vaguely registered the moans which left his mouth, but he could not hope to have enough control to stop himself.
Kaneki’s jaw clenched as he dealt with the pain. Tsukiyama’s hands ran over his sides and gave him something to focus on as he attempted to block out the feeling of muscles and skin being torn through and ripped off of him.
Teeth closed together and Tsukiyama pulled his head back to detach flesh from body; he basked in the feeling of meat finally gracing his mouth after so long. Perhaps starving for so many weeks wasn’t such a bad thing. It has only made this meal so much more enjoyable. As he lifted his head away from Kaneki's neck and began to chew, he savored every texture his tongue was privileged with. Never had he enjoyed a meal as fine as this one. Surely nothing in this world could compare to Kaneki-kun’s taste.
Thankful that the teeth had finally been dislodged from his shoulder, Kaneki relaxed into Tsukiyama’s body. The Gourmet tightened his arms and leaned back ever so slightly in response to allow Kaneki lean on him.
As the Gourmet finished chewing and swallowed his treat, he was left with an ache for more. How I would love to devour all of Kaneki at this very moment. He leaned his head back down to the wound and began to run his tongue over it, gathering up all the blood he was able to. Much to his dismay the wound had already nearly healed, so he was left to lap up the blood which had spilled down Kaneki’s neck.
A shiver wracked through Kaneki’s body at the feeling of Tsukiyama’s tongue licking his open wound. He had no idea what to think of the strange sensation and the way it affected his body. It was certainly more pleasant than having a piece of his body torn off. As Tsukiyama finished gathering up all the blood left on his neck, he moved down to where it had dripped down over Kaneki’s chest.
Kaneki’s senses were already overloaded with all the strange sensations he had just experienced; the feeling of Tsukiyama’s tongue traveling down his body was just too much. His grip tightened on violet strands and he tugged Tsukiyama’s head back up.
The sharp pain from his scalp alarmed him as he realized he had done something wrong. He quickly let his head follow the hand tugging it and brought his face back up to be level with Kaneki’s.
The wide, glowing kakugan made Kaneki’s breath catch in his throat for a moment. Few times had he ever seen them so close, and never had they looked so innocent. As he regained his composure, he loosened his grip on Tsukiyama’s hair and smoothed out the hair he had ruffled. He coaxed his eye back to normal as he was no longer in a threatened position, and stared at how his blood looked on Tsukiyama’s lips. “Sorry,” he whispered not wanting to shatter the atmosphere surrounding them. “…It was too much.”
Bright eyes blinked at him, clearly not understanding for a moment. Suddenly, Tsukiyama came back to his senses and the change was noticeable even to Kaneki. He had undoubtedly gone somewhere inside his own head as he was eating; the journey back to reality seemed to be a strange and difficult one for him. Or perhaps he was just enjoying himself too much in his own head. Not that Kaneki could fault him if that was the case, since he was the one to suggest this whole ordeal in the first place.
“Ah, no. Don’t apologize.” He tried to figure out what he could possibly feel the need to apologize for and came up blank. “Why should you apologize? I am sorry if I upset you. I seem to have lost myself a bit; my apologies.” He bowed his head slightly before looking back up at Kaneki, kakugan still activated.
“It’s- Uh, It’s fine.” Kaneki breathed in deeply as he gathered his thoughts. “Are you feeling better now?”
Somehow, he realized his kakugan were still activated and closed his eyes for a moment; when he reopened them Kaneki was left staring at his regular eyes once again. “Yes, definitely. Thank you Kaneki-kun. I owe you greatly.”
“It’s fine, Tsukiyama-san. You can repay me by returning to your usual self and not neglecting to eat again.” Kaneki let a playful smile appear on his lips. “After all, you still need to uphold your title as my sword.”
Tsukiyama returned the smile, “Of course, mon cher.” He recalled the words he had once used to pledge himself to Kaneki, “There’s too much left for me to die just yet.” He could tell by the look on Kaneki’s face that he also recalled that day months ago which marked the beginning of this journey.