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“You really want to die kid?”
Izuku stared at the man’s silver and gold eyes. He was heterochromic like Todoroki.
“Yes… Yes I do.”
He swallowed the lump in his throat, that was probably the first honest response he gave in the last few months. How did it even come to this? He has friends. A loving mother. Father figures. So why?
“Here.”
The man had stood up from the torn up, stained, and drug infested couch to place two white pills in Izuku’s palms.
“Put them in water or any drinkable liquid until they dissolve completely. Or crush them up for it to dissolve faster.”
Izuku lifted up the pills to his eyes to inspect. They looked like normal pills, and he wasn’t about to get scammed.
“Do they work?”
The man’s eyes burned with mystery, especially since Izuku couldn’t see the bottom half of his face, due to the medical mask he wore.
“Yes. Think of it as human euthanization.”
Izuku blinked. Interested, zapping into his eyes like lightning. Really?
“The pills work the same way as euthanizing an animal. After you let it dissolve in water and drink it. You’ll be gone in exactly 8 seconds.”
Izuku’s eyes brightened. When was the last time his eyes lit up like this? God he can’t remember. Everything was gray now.
“No pain?…”
The man’s heterochromic eyes met the kids' bright emerald hopeful eyes.
“No pain.”
Izuku held the pills tightly now. He had to be extremely careful, so he placed them in his secret secured pocket inside of his zipped up hoodie.
“Do you want to talk about why you want to die?”
Izuku blinked again, he honestly wanted to laugh at himself for not having an answer ready, but at the same time. Everything was the answer.
“I’ve been quirkless my whole life.”
Start off small. He told himself. I mean this guy asked, might as well vent to him before he goes off and dies without any final words. Besides, this man is giving him an out to this world, he deserves to know.
“Everyone sees me as a potential corpse on the battlefield. Even with the help of support items, everyone still looks at me like a soldier with a battle wound who doesn’t know when to drop dead.”
Izuku’s eyes turned to the open balcony doors, up at the starry night above.
“They baby me, even when I’ve proved time and time again that I can hold my own. Even my own mother wants me to withdraw from UA. And even the number 1 hero told me to be ‘realistic.’”
“So your whole life people made decisions for you, so now you decided to take matters into your own hands right?”
There was a small moment of silence before Izuku spoke up.
“I try, and try. Over and over again. But it’s like nothing will satisfy them unless I get a quirk. So I’ll spare them their pity by ending myself.”
Izuku’s breath was heavy, his chest felt heavy. He was so angry that no matter what he does, it’ll never be enough. He’s just so tired.
“I’m tired of feeling so grounded, I’m tired of being looked down on, I’m tired of being babied by everyone! I’m tired of feeling my chest hurt everyday! I’m tired of fake smiles! I’m tired of crying! And I’m tired of waking up everyday!”
Izuku’s eyes were spilling like a waterfall. Fuck again?! He desperately tried wiping away his fat tears with his hoodie sleeves, but of course it’s not helping. Izuku then heard the man sigh, and softly ruffled his hair as comfort.
“Well, I’m glad to tell you that this is a decision they can’t take away from you.”
Izuku met the man’s softened eyes, even his voice was soft as he began to walk away. But…
“Have you thought about dying?”
Izuku just had wanted to know, this man clearly understands, and Izuku was grateful! So it wouldn’t hurt to ask right? What’s his story?
“Yeah I have.”
He turned back towards Izuku. His eyes are still so soft.
“But the reason I haven’t is because they’re still people like you who need my guidance.”
Izuku’s face fell into confusion, until he remembered the pills in his pocket.
“Some say I’m the grim reaper, who’s guiding or giving a ticket to those who crave death. And they’re right.”
The man walked past Izuku, towards the balcony. The man simply plopped down by the ledge, with the sounds of scraping concrete under his syringe fingers.
“Some of us aren’t given a chance or even a decision on how we live our own lives. So I say we should have a choice on how we die. When and where.”
As he talked, Izuku slowly made his way towards the man, sitting down with him. Feeling his legs dangling down the 40 foot balcony of this 2 story house.
“I know it’s not right, hell I shouldn’t even be producing these pills. But I do.”
“Because you understand…”
The man chuckled while ruffling Izuku’s natural forestry green hair with his syringe fingers.
“Yeah, I do. When do you plan to do it?”
“New Years. You know, the end of a quirkless era.”
Izuku couldn’t help but chuckle, making the man laugh as well.
“Well Izuku. I’m happy I met you. And I respect your choice. I would say I’d see you again, but I’m definitely going to hell.”
“Who knows? Maybe I will see you again?”
The man’s eyes squinted, but Izuku knew he was smiling.
“I highly doubt it, but I’ll see you on the other side Izuku.”
“I hope so too, Syringe.”
Izuku smiled ever so kindly, making Syringe chuckle. They now began stargazing. It was beautiful this evening, the way the sky just lit up with so many stars. How nice and cool the wind blew through their hair, legs, and skin.
Who knew the crack house could have the most amazing view of the sky.
23:49
December 31st.
It was almost time. Izuku’s heart started racing, was he excited? Scared? Who cares?! It’s not going to matter in 10 minutes! It’s about to be over.
Finally over.
Izuku had already crushed up the pills with his razor blade, using the same technique he saw Syringe use when he would crush up cocaine at the crack house. He’ll miss him dearly.
Izuku then scooped up the powder with the razor, and poured it into the lavender tea that Yaomomo had made for him. She’s the most wonderful girl he’s ever known.
Izuku then poured the rest of the powder into his tea, and stirred. He watched as the white powder dissolved in an instant, it looked as if nothing was done to the tea in the first place.
He made sure everything was in place. All the letters have been written and organized on his desk. He showered and dressed in more comfortable clothing. He got to say goodnight to his friends. And he got to see some fireworks.
All set.
23:58
Izuku held the tea in his hands, he watched his All Might themed clock ticked ever so slowly. Time slowed down, his heartbeat echoing in his ears. His hands were slightly trembling, causing the tea cup to clatter against the saucer constantly.
His breathing was getting faster, the adrenaline he felt was insane, and in the next minute, he’ll never experience this again.
23:59
54 seconds. Just 53 more seconds and he’ll be free. No longer a burden, no longer a liability, no longer that quirkless fucking loser who can’t even be trusted.
His name and his existence will forever stain his classmates and teachers memory. Proving that no matter how hard you fucking try, you’ll never be good enough for anyone unless you have a fucking quirk.
Izuku was laughing to himself with tears streaming down his face. Nothing he ever did matter didn’t it?
Nothing.
Even what he’s doing right now didn’t matter.
“Well, I’m glad to tell you that this is a decision they can’t take away from you.”
Syringe’s words echoed in his head. He’s right, they can’t take this away from him, this is his choice and his alone!
Thank you my friend, I’ll see you soon.
5. It’s happening.
4. He’s really about to die!
3. No regrets, no fucking regrets!
2. Goodbye. Please kill me.
1. He gulped it down.
All of a sudden he felt so calm, he barely heard the eruptions of explosions outside his balcony. Everything was so slow once again, but so much more calm that it felt so ungodly peaceful.
He’s going to die.
Time for bed.
Izuku pulled the covers over his body, pulling the giant stuffed bunny Shinsou gave him for Christmas, into his arms. Cuddling it one final time.
Izuku smiled, his final breath being a huge sigh of relief.
Goodnight everyone.
07:28
“Is Midoriya still in bed?”
Iida questioned his classmates, who all looked at one another and around, also not seeing the fluffy broccoli poking out.
“I’ll go check on him, I need to get my bag anyway.”
Iida thanked Shinsou who began his way towards the elevator. He and Midoriya stayed on the same floor, so there was no trouble waking up the ball of sunshine while grabbing his bag.
When the elevator doors opened, something just felt off, and it got worse with every step towards Midoriya’s room. Should he be worried?
Shinsou knocked.
“Hey Midoriya? You awake?”
Shinsou waited for a minute, but nothing. He knocked a little louder.
“Midoriya?”
Again. Nothing.
No, something was off. This, this doesn’t feel right.
“Midoriya! I’m opening the door!”
Shinsou waited a few seconds more, before opening the door. It wasn’t locked, thank god. Upon opening the door, a cold breeze hit Shinsou dead in the face, causing a shiver to curse through his entire body. Holy shit it’s cold! There was sunlight shining through the room from the opened balcony.
“Midoriya? Fuck did you sleep with your doors open? Shit it’s freezing!”
Shinsou was about to close the balcony doors, but stopped dead in his tracks. Izuku’s eyes were slightly opened, but…
“Midoriya?”
He shook him, but he felt so heavy.
“Midoriya!”
He shook him harder.
“Midoriya! Come on, wake up!”
Panic started to spread across his entire body. That’s when Shinsou pulled the covers down. Midoriya was dressed in an All Might sweater, with another pair of All Might themed pajama pants. But his face…
His face.
“Midoriya?! C-Come on!”
Shinsou climbed onto the bed, his trembling hands placed upon his classmates freckled cheeks.
Cold.
Cold as death.
“No! No, n-no, no! Izuku!”
Shinsou immediately placed two fingers under his chin, desperately looking for a pulse.
Nothing.
He was so stiff.
“M-Mid-Midoriya! I-Izu-Izuku! C-Come on! WAKE UP!”
Shinsou’s own tears fell onto Izuku’s cheek, he desperately held onto his friend's face, hoping to see something! A light in those beautiful, beautiful eyes again!
But all he saw were gray, dull, lifeless eyes that looked past him.
“Shinsou?”
He whipped his head towards the corner where Tokoyami and Todoroki peered from.
“Are you okay? We heard you scream.”
“Midoriya?”
Shinsou’s heart was breaking, his breathing was charging full speed ahead of him. Making him incapable of catching his own breath.
“S-Sensei… w-we-we n-need A-Aiza-Aizawa s-s-sensei!”
Todoroki and Tokoyami immediately came to Midoriya’s aid, but his face said everything.
“Midoriya?! Midoriya!!”
Todoroki was shaking him too, but also felt how heavy and stiff he was. Tokoyami was heavily breathing, but immediately took out his phone to call their sensei.
“Izuku please! C-Come on! Wake up please!”
“Midoriya! Wake up! Don’t do this!”
Shinsou and Todoroki were pleading together. Just please! Come on! Wake up Midoriya! Don’t do this!
“S-Sensei?! Sensei! Y-You need to come immediately! M-Midoriya! He’s not waking up!”
Tokoyami was crying, he pulled Midoriya’s hand into his own. Fuck he was so cold, so stiff.
By the time Aizawa got there, half of his class was crowding his problem child’s room. Shit! What happened?! Aizawa had them clear the way, and it got worse when he saw Uraraka, Ausi, Mina, and Momo all crying.
Panic started going full throttle now, what the fuck happened?!
When Aizawa made it past his students, his heart dropped, and full on shattered.
Tokoyami, Todoroki, and Bakugou were crowding Izuku on the bed with tears streaming down their faces. And Shinsou protectively held Midoriya in his arms.
“S-Sensei! Pl-Please help him! C-Come on!”
Shinsou shouted, breaking Aizawa out of his fuzzy state. He crouched down on the bed, and took one look at Midoriya’s face.
He’s dead.
He’s gone.
Aizawa has seen dead people, way too many. He knows the look. But to see it on his students' face, his problem child! That child he promised to protect! That was supposed to be safe!
It broke him.
Shattered him.
Now he’s fallen under the spell.
“Izuku? Kiddo? C-Come on. Wake up please.”
His class was first to witness their Sensei break. His face said everything as tears streamed down his cheeks.
“You’re going t-to be okay kiddo. I p-promise.”
He placed his calloused hands on Izuku’s forehead, trailing it down to his cheek. Shinsou broke down, crying into Izuku’s hair. Bakugou had a look of anger, but the way his eyes struggled to remain angry with tears streaming down was enough to prove how sad he truly was.
Aizawa felt arms wrapped around him, his students. His kids. Aizawa cried with them, while caressing his problem child’s face. His kid was gone, he knew that. But please just for a few seconds, let him pretend he’s okay. Please give him that.
Izuku is dead.
A choice he made for himself.
But, a choice that cost more than himself.