Chapter Text
My mind felt puzzled. In front of me was no different. Yet my mind kept wandering. I wanted more. I wanted to feel more. Not only that, but I wanted to feel love. From someone. Not family, not friends, no. I wanted someone who could love me for who I am. A freak.
Two years ago, I was in class 78, of Hope's Peak Academy. Hope's Peak was a school for the best of the best. Like most other schools, there were many students who were all unique in their own way. They had secrets, likes, dislikes... And so much more. Despite me going there as well, I couldn't help but envy them. They were all so amazing.
Now, I was 19. I was in a university now, but still could see most of my old classmates. In fact, I shared classes with some. I was currently going after programming, as I had always had a interest in it. Currently, I had my computer open, looking around the room.
I remained zoned out, just thinking. I loved my class, I really did. It wasn't like my highschool class, where everyone knew everyone, and everyone was happy. No, most were by theirselves, or hung out with a small group of people.
To be honest, sometimes I doubted having attraction at all, though. When looking at anyone here, I felt nothing like love. I only felt happy. Just happy. They were all so amazing, what was not to love about them? But for some reason, my brain couldn't think like my heart. It wanted touch, it wanted hugs, it wanted someone to hold when times get tough. My brain wanted knowledge, to fit in... To be someone I know I'm not. I couldn't feel love towards anyone here though. I hated it.
I wanted to listen to both, my heart and my brain. But at the end of the day, my body just got consumed by my heart. Wanting... needing more. I grasped my hand gently, feeling my eyes blur as tears peacefully swept down. Even thinking about it made me hurt. Could I even love? Or, was it the other way around? Could anyone even love me?
Small tears of jealousy soon turned into anger. I hated this. All my life I've been wondering, could I be loved? Was the answer truly no? I couldn't help but feel trapped. Before I could think, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up almost immediately, seeing Sakura, and Aoi.
"Fujisaki!! What happened?-" Aoi pulled me into a hug, Sakura just watching, I knew she felt bad. Her face showed it all. Sakura and Aoi were my friends, they were awesome. They were both strong, athletic... Everything.
"Chihiro, are you alright?" Sakura soon joined Aoi, as she sat down next to me. I cried a lot. Most of it was over stupid things.
"I'm fiNe..." I managed to speak, small voice cracks in between words. Aoi and Sakura just looked at each other, almost as if talking some secret language I could never learn to understand.
"Are you sure?- You've been like this a lot lately, you'll be fine for a minute, then space out and start crying... Did something happen you're not comfortable sharing?.. Or are you just overthinking again...?" Aoi rubbed my hand in a circular motion, I knew she was trying her hardest. She was so optimistic all the time, always smiling and just being herself. I loved that about her. And Sakura... She was so strong. She was kind, caring, and always knew how to help. What bothered me most, was I couldn't love them. I was a boy... All my life, I've known that boys are meant to love girls. Of course, my parents never directly said that, but even so I was scared on how they would feel. So, I never told them.
"Chihiro, please know if something is happening, we are here for you." Sakura just nodded slightly, I could tell she didn't know what to say. I felt horrible putting this pressure on them. But I felt as if I was at my breaking point.
"OverthinkiNg... I-I'm sorry..." I tried calming down, hugging Aoi back once again. Of course, it wasn't much help. Aoi and Sakura were like motherly figures to me. I had a lot, to be honest. Genocide was like a father to me, Mukuro like a mother... And Sakura and Aoi like mothers. They treated me with respect, and kindness.
"It's alright Fujisaki! No need to worry. Everyone sometimes overthinks, just know that it will get better, 'kay?" Aoi smiled, then let go. I just gave a small nod, and a small smile. It seemed to make her feel better. I wasn't really in the mood to smile, but of course I didn't want to seem annoying, I couldn't lose some of my only friends.
"Chihiro, if you need to talk, I'm here. Please know, I will never judge you." Sakura placed her hand on my shoulder, giving a small smile. Again, all I could give was a nod.
Aoi and Sakura soon went back to their seats, now just chatting. I watched them walk back, as I looked down to my desk. I soon took out my computer, and just began to play Tetris. Video games helped me relax, so I used that as a way to calm down.
Around two minutes later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I just paused, as I looked up once again. It was Makoto?
"Fujisaki! Hi, sorry for bothering. But I heard you haven't been feeling the best lately. I hope things get better, I wanted to recommend a place!- It's called Clowder Cats, it's a sanctuary with a ton of cats. Sakura told me you liked cats, so I just thought maybe you'd like that-?" Makoto moved his hands around as he spoke, it was a small thing he did. Once he finished speaking, he stopped. "Ah, sorry- I didn't mean to talk too much, I just thought maybe you'd like that?-"
"Nono, it's fine. Thank you. And yes, I'll try it out. Thank you."
Makoto smiled, waved, then went back to Kirigiri.
I just went back to my computer. As we were talking, I had lost the game. I let out a small sigh, as I exited the game, and looked up the place he mentioned. It wasn't that far away from my house... Just around two blocks. I saved the address on my phone, closed my computer, and looked at my calendar off my phone. Hm. I wasn't busy all week... I soon decided, I would visit it.
I got up, and went off to the library. School would be done in around a hour, so I had some extra time to finish some book I was reading.
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I began to read a random book, my leg bouncing slightly. Before I knew it, the bell rung. School was over. I got up, and put away the book. Luckily, I put in on my phone what book I read, and what page I was left on.
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I went off to my locker, and put in my locker number. 25-03-21. I soon opened my locker, taking out my backpack, as I set it on the floor.
Kids walked past to go to their lockers, as I had my bag on the floor. I watched my bag get ran over by some kids goofing around. I sighed, and took it again. I began to put my books away, then put away my notebooks. There we go. I zipped it up, then put it around my shoulders, shutting my locker-as I then locked it seconds later. I soon sat up, and went out the front doors.
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By the time I got home, my mom was in the living room, coffee in her left hand, and a remote in her right hand. As I walked in, she waved, a small smile on her face.
"Chihiro! Welcome home." She nodded, setting down her coffee. "How was school?"
"It was fine." I wasn't sure what else to say. It wasn't really good, but it wasn't as if it was horrible or anything of that sort.
"Oh, alright. There's a snack in the fridge, I bought some strawberries as well!"
"Alright, thanks mom." I smiled, and went off to my room. I had to put away some stuff and change out of my uniform. As I walked in, I set my backpack next to my door. I shut the door seconds later, took off my jacket, then my shirt, then skirt, and finally my shorts. I picked out a new white skirt, new shorts, and put those on. Seconds later, I put on a sweatshirt, and walked out of my room.
I went into the kitchen, opened the fridge and took out the strawberries. I began to nibble on one, as I wanted to save most for later. As I finished the one I took, I took two more, put the rest back, and shut the fridge. I finished my strawberries minutes later, as I washed my hands right after. Once done, I put on my casual shoes, and took a small bag I had. Inside, was my wallet, money, gum, and other things.
"Hey mom, can I go out? There's a cat place called Clowder Cats I wanna go to." I peeked into the living room, just seeing my mother nod. She seemed tired, most likely from work.
"Alright. Just be sure to be home by 6pm, okay? And call me if anything happens.."
"Okay!" Phew. Approval. I opened the front door, and shut it behind me. Now, on my way to Clowder Cats.
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Soon enough I arrived. The place was smaller then I imagined, and had a cat painting up front. It looked so cool. I walked in, hearing a small bell jingle from the door.
Inside, there were tons of cats. It seemed as if you didn't need to do anything like sign in, or give money, so I sat on a couch, and pet a cat. It had black fur, and green eyes. It's paws were white, and it seemed friendly.
I gently pet it, gaining small purrs and rubs against my hand in return. The cat was adorable. I loved cats, we just had none at home due to my dad being allergic.
Before I could even think, I heard a surprised shriek. I looked up quickly, a bit startled, seeing a boy with purple hair, betting clawed by a orange and white cat. He sat up, not crying, but he just seemed shocked. He looked to me seconds later, seeming to notice my staring. Quickly I looked away, hoping he wouldn't get mad. He seemed oddly familiar. Almost as if I've seen him before. I began to think, where exactly? Then, it clicked. School.
He was a year older then me, 20, I believe? We didn't have many classes with eachother, except for gym. And other then that, only every once in a while I saw him in the library goofing off. Other then knowing he was a extrovet, I knew not much about him.
Quickly enough, one of the people who worked here came over, and reassured the boy it wasn't his fault, just a old, cranky cat. He was all sniffly, then just as quickly stopped, and went off to grab a new cat to hang out with. Such a odd boy. He was here alone, something about him just got me so interested in him. Was it how outgoing he was? How quickly his mood changed? Or was it something else entirely?
I continued to watch the boy, but before I knew it, he looked at me, almost as if he knew I was staring the entire time. I quickly looked away, I wasn't in the mood to be called any names today. That, or be teased or questioned. I looked back down to the cat, and just held it close.
I just listened to the boys words, and noises. He seemed hyper, but sweet. He kept praising the cats, his voice slow, yet hyper. His voice sent chills down my spine for some reason. Before I knew it, I watched him get up, and go to the door of the place, and leave. But why? Was it from annoyance, or did he have to go? I wasn't too sure. I laid back on the couch, and continued to pet the cat. Now, just thinking. I wanted to know him more. His actions, words, tone.. it all made me so interested for some reason.
All I knew, was one thing. I had to find some way, somehow.. to talk to him. For something I couldn't place my mind on, he made my heart skip.
I wanted to get to know him.