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It was a Jane Doe this time, that reminded Rhaenyra of her first girlfriend and first love.
People came into the hospital all the time, so it stood to reason that pretty auburn haired girls with brown doe eyes would show up every now and again. It had taken Rhaenyra by surprise the first time it happened- a young woman who was about 22 and hugely pregnant. Rhaenyra had bitten her tongue and done her job, checking on the woman and the baby.
She had gone and smoked three cigarettes on her break to calm herself down.
In the years since, the women who looked like her first love seemed to appear with a sick sort of frequency, as though the Seven were taunting Rhaenyra for her failings.
The woman today was part of a rather horrific case. No one was quite sure what had happened to the boy, Luke, and his mother. They had come in one night, both bedraggled and bruised. They were escorted by a police officer, who told the head of the hospital in hushed tones that the boy had been found with his mother and a dead man who the boy had proclaimed he had killed to protect his mother.
If the signs of years of rape, being chained up, and beaten on the woman was not signal enough that the dead man deserved to die, the way that the boy’s arms and legs were covered in small cuts and cigar burns was enough.
Social Services had asked the boy what his name was, and he gave it as Luke. The woman was almost entirely unresponsive. Luke did not even know what his mother’s name was, but he called her “Mama”. So everyone in the hospital started referring to the woman as “Mama Doe”. Luke refused to leave her side the entire length of their stay and would stand in front of her protectively at the sight of any men.
It was because of this that Mama Doe had to only be cared for by female doctors and nurses. The poor woman was scared witless of men, even without Luke’s urges to not let any man near her, so it was a fine solution for everyone.
They had been in the hospital for two weeks now, probably a week longer than they really needed to. But Social Services refused to let the boy and his mother out of their direct jurisdiction until they found somewhere for the boy and his mother to go.
It was a horrible situation, all told. The police had worked tirelessly to figure out the identity of the two, but to no avail. And the woman still refused to speak to anyone.
Rhaenyra was starting her rotation in Psych today. As an intern, she was required to do rotations of all the major departments in the hospital. This was the one she was dreading the most. She did not want to approach the woman who looked so much like the woman she had lost.
“But she hates being near men Dr. Stark. You know that I-” Catelyn Stark, the head of Psych, fixed Rhaenyra with an unforgiving stare that made Rhaenyra halt her words.
“Dr. Targaryen, care to tell me exactly when the last time it was that you were clocked as anything other than female?” Stark sniped out with a roll of her eyes.
“I don’t give a damn that you’re scared of the woman, doctor. She needs our help and we’re going to give it to her.” Rhaenyra sighed in resignment at Stark’s words. She and Catelyn were the only female doctors on the floor since it was about two in the morning. And Mama Doe and Luke needed a pair of doctors to look at them.
They headed inside the private room of the boy and his mother. As usual, Luke was asleep in a chair beside his mother. Their hands were together in a tight grasp.
Rhaenyra noted that Mama was awake. She was watching Rhaenyra with those sad brown eyes.
Rhaenyra fought the urge to panic and rush out of the room. This woman looked more like her lost lover than any who had come before her.
Dr. Stark motioned for Rhaenyra to check on the woman lying in the hospital bed. Rhaenyra walked over to the woman slowly, not eager to get an even better look at the her.
She kept her eyes on anything but the woman’s own.
“Dr. Targaryen is going to be joining me from now on.” Dr. Stark whispered softly as she looked over the young boy in the chair.
Rhaenyra nodded quickly and then moved to pick up the arm of Mama that she knew contained the worst of the cuts. She examined the wound closely and noted that it had bled through the bandages.
“Ah Seven Hells.” Rhaenyra whispered under her breath.
“Dr. Stark. This wound needs to be re-dressed.” Rhaenyra said to her superior before moving to the other side of the room to grab another set of dressings.
She pulled up a chair next to Mama Doe and started the process of unwrapping the bandage. She felt a flush creep up on her face as she prodded at the woman’s damaged skin. She could feel the sad brown eyes focused solely on her face.
“I’m, uh, just fixing up this wound. I wonder why they didn’t give you stitches.” She muttered softly to the woman. She finally found the bravery to look up and meet the woman’s eye.
She regretted it immediately.
This woman looked entirely too much like-
“Rhaegar?” The auburn haired woman whispered. Her voice was beyond hoarse from misuse. Rhaenyra stilled almost completely. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say she wasn’t breathing.
“What did you say?” Dr. Stark’s voice called through the air.
“Rhaegar?” The woman repeated again, this time more firmly. Rhaenyra wanted to throw up. She wanted to fling herself to the floor and sob. She wanted to find her way to the top of the hospital building and scream until her throat was raw and she couldn’t talk anymore.
Instead she just whimpered out,
“Alicent?”
____________________________________________________________________________
Alicent Hightower had been Rhaenyra’s best friend since they were nearly 10 years old. Though, back then, she had presented as a boy who went by the name “Rhaegar.”
They stayed by each other’s side for years, practically attached by the hip. Alicent would come to every sporting event that Rhaegar participated in. Rhaegar would attend every performance he could of Alicent’s piano recitals.
It only made sense that Rhaegar and Alicent would start dating when they were fourteen and fifteen respectively.
Rhaegar had said for years how the minute that they were both eighteen, they would marry and run away together. He would kiss Alicent’s lips as she sat on his lap and whisper about what their married life would be like.
“I would make you the happiest woman in the world, Al. You would never not have that gorgeous smile on your face.” Rhaegar proclaimed one day when they were sixteen. Alicent would turn seventeen the next month.
“You alone would make me happy Rhaegar. But we would also have children, you know?” Alicent had said back with a sly grin. She had leaned back slightly and run her fingers through Rhaegar’s short locks.
“Pretty Targaryen children with silvery white hair like yours.” She said before giggling softly. Rhaegar ran his own hand through Alicent’s curly hair.
“Well. I think our pretty children could have your lovely hair as well Al. I would love them just as I love their mother.” Rhaegar said and leaned in to capture Alicent’s lips in a firm kiss.
Alicent was almost eighteen the first time they had sex.
It was not intentional, really. Alicent was religious and wanted to save herself until they were married. But she told Rhaegar “We’re going to be married soon anyways. And I want to feel you.” She pulled Rhaegar’s hand under her skirt. He whimpered at the feeling of how hot and wet she was.
“I need you inside me Rhaegar.”
That moment, that day, was the last day that Rhaegar saw Alicent.
The next day, he received a call that someone had gone on a rampage in the Hightower’s house. They had slaughtered everyone in there, including Alicent. All that was left of Alicent was a half burned body.
Rhaegar considered killing himself the next day. What was life worth living if he didn’t have Alicent?
The only thing that stopped him was the idea of what Alicent would think of him. He couldn’t bare the thought of her being ashamed of him, even in the afterlife.
So he didn’t.
He moved to The North to get away. He went to medical school. He realized who he truly was on the inside and transitioned to being a woman named Rhaenyra.
She worked hard as a doctor, treating every patient with reverence. For she knew how quickly a loved one’s life could be taken.
She woke up one day to her first rotation in Psych.
She ran out of
Mama Doe
Alicent’s room and threw up into the nearest trash can. She finished losing the last three day’s worth of food from her stomach and sat down heavily on the floor. Her mind reeled. Her head spun. She could hear her heart echoing loudly in her own head.
“Dude. Targaryen. What the fuck.” One of the other interns, Theon, said to her with a nervous laugh in his voice.
“Dr. Targaryen.” Stark said with concern. Rhaenyra couldn’t hear them. All she could hear was her own heart trying to burst out of her chest and Alicent’s soft voice saying her name in her head.
Her ears rang out and her vision tunneled. She dimly remembered hearing Theon’s voice yelling for her again before she lost consciousness.
“What happened in there Doc?” She heard the voice in her ear. A light was shining into her eyes. She blinked rapidly and squinted under the brightness of the light.
One of the EMTs, Jon Snow, was leaning over her. His face conveyed his worry.
“I’m not entirely sure. I could swear Mama Doe deadnamed Rhaenyra, then Rhaenyra whispered a name and ran out of the room. Now she’s like this.” Dr. Stark responded.
At the mention of her again, Rhaenyra tried to stand up.
“Whoa now, Targ. Can’t have you eating the floor again.” Snow said to her as he slipped a hand around her waist to steady her.
“I need- I have to go to her. Dr. Stark. I need to-” Rhaenyra sputtered out. She was frustrated by how desperate and out of breath she sounded.
“Wait, do you know her? Mama D-” Snow started before Rhaenyra cut him off. “Alicent. Her name is Alicent Hightower.” Rhaenyra said. The words she spoke made her own mind spin again.
She stumbled back over to the trash can and leaned on it heavily. She could hear sounds of annoyance around her.
Alicent. Alicent needs me. was all that echoed through her mind.
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“So your name is…Rhaenyra now?” Alicent said to her softly. They were sitting together in Alicent’s room in Rhaenyra’s house. Luke was watching them both carefully, still not quite trusting of Rhaenyra.
It had been a week since the revelation of who Alicent was. It had taken a lot of fighting with Social Services in order to let Rhaenyra be the one to take Alicent in.
“It should be her family who takes her in.” Petyr Baelish, the head of Social Services at the hospital had said.
“Have you listened to anything I’ve said Baelish? She has no one. They were all killed thirteen years ago.” Rhaenyra had growled back.
“She has cousins. The Tyrells for instance.” Baelish had said back haughtily.
“Well. Why don’t you ask her what she wants, huh?”
It had been a shot in the dark. There was no guarantee that Alicent would want to go with her. But Baelish had acquiesced to asking her, or rather sending the woman who was leading Alicent’s case, Sansa Stark who was Dr. Stark’s daughter, to talk to Alicent about going with Rhaenyra.
Even after Alicent had specifically said she wanted to go with Rhaenyra, it still took a lot of fighting and showing Baelish just how damn rich and well equipped Rhaenyra was for taking in two more people to her house for him to finally sign off on letting Alicent and Luke go with her.
Rhaenyra was still a bit irritated with Social Services and the police that it had taken them so long to figure out who Alicent was, but since she was named dead and not missing, and she had gone missing in The Reach and not The North, it would have probably taken months of research to figure it out.
When they had all gotten to Rhaenyra’s house, Rhaenyra had given Alicent and Luke separate rooms, but Luke had still slept on the floor at the foot of Alicent’s bed the night before. Rhaenyra hoped beyond hope that the boy would trust her enough soon to sleep in his own room.
“Yes. I transitioned when I was 20. Does that..does that bother you, Alicent?” Rhaenyra replied. She didn’t know what she would do if it did bother Alicent. Maybe she could let herself be deadnamed just for her.
“No. It, um. It suits you.” Alicent whispered back. She had her eyes trained on her lap. She was picking at her cuticles. Rhaenyra remembered that she had had the habit when they were young teens.
Rhaenyra took a weary look to Luke. He was still looking at her with mistrust, but he no longer looked like he was going to spring up and place himself between Rhaenyra and Alicent forcefully. She smiled at him fondly and he gave her a very small smile in return.
She returned her attentions to Alicent again.
“That would be okay, you know. If you were bothered by it. You’re allowed to have your own feelings on the matter.” Rhaenyra said back gently. She reached over to take Alicent’s hand that Alicent was abusing. Alicent jerked her hand back and murmured an apology. Rhaenyra just whispered a soft “It’s okay” before leaning back in her chair to give Alicent a bit more space.
“It doesn’t bother me in the slightest.” Luke said proudly. Rhaenyra turned around and gave him a grin.
“I saw the pictures in the den. You’re much better looking as a woman, Rhaenyra.” Rhaenyra laughed at the boy’s words. She had always thought the same.
She once again looked back over to Alicent, hoping to elicit a smile or laugh from her. But as always, Alicent had the same look of nothing on her face. The only emotion she really ever showed was fear.
“I was unsure of who Sansa meant at first. When she mentioned your name. But it is close to your…other name.” Alicent said in a low voice.
Rhaenyra chuckled softly.
“Yeah. Dad was always so proud of our heritage. I wanted to keep the name distinctly Valyrian you know.” Rhaenyra replied.
Alicent nodded in return.
“Why’d you move here?” Alicent said after a moment of silence.
“To get away, I guess.” Rhaenyra said tentatively.
“From all the memories. I understand.” was what Alicent spoke in reply.
Rhaenyra made a sound of agreement.
“Did it work?” Alicent said. She still hadn’t looked up from her own hands.
The words make Rhaenyra think of the photo of Alicent smiling up at her that she has at her bedside. Of the way she had bought Tetris on every gaming console she owned because it was Alicent’s favorite game. Of the way she hadn’t watched Titanic in thirteen years because during the one time they had made love, Alicent asked Rhaenyra to take her to the stars. Of the way she had never successfully dated anyone since Alicent.
Of the way that she saw Alicent in every woman who even vaguely looked like her.
“I don’t know.” was all that Rhaenyra said to her in response.
____________________________________________________________________________
Rhaenyra played Hades furiously. She liked the way the buttons sounded as she clicked them rapidly in order to make Zagreus moved around the screen and attack shades. It was late at night. Alicent and Luke were in their own rooms, hopefully asleep.
Rhaenyra’s button mashing was so loud she missed the sound of Alicent padding into the room.
She jumped in surprise when Alicent sat down on the couch next to her. She stared at Alicent for a few seconds in total shock. Alicent had never sat down on the same couch as her. The other woman had always chosen to sit in one of the love seat’s on either side of the couch, or on the other couch in the room to be next to Luke.
Alicent was looking at the screen.
“What are you playing?” Alicent said in that soft, stilted whisper of hers. She always spoke like Rhaenyra would hit her for asking even the most benign of questions, even after living with Rhaenyra for over a month.
“Oh. Uh, it’s called Hades. It’s a roguelite.” Rhaenyra responded. She was unsure if Alicent would know what a roguelite was, but Alicent hummed in response like she did know.
Rhaenyra looked away from her after a beat and continued playing. They sat in silence for a few moments, as Rhaenyra made her way through Asphodel.
She could feel Alicent’s eyes on her.
“Do I have something on my face?” She teased softly, not taking her own eyes off of the screen.
Alicent did not respond at first, but Rhaenyra could feel the way those soft brown eyes looked at her.
She let Zagreus stand for a moment in the loading area between Elysium and Styx and casted a glance at Alicent. It seemed like the other woman was studying her.
“I keep thinking that this is a dream. Like I am going to wake up and be back there.” Alicent told her with a gentle voice.
Rhaenyra nodded slowly. She wanted to reach over and gather Alicent into her arms and soothe her fears. But she knew from experience that Alicent would seize up and have a panic attack if she touched her like that.
“I like looking at you. Because you’re soothing and beautiful. And if I am going to wake up from this wonderful dream, I won’t let myself forget the way your face looks in the moonlight.” Alicent said and then finally looked away. A small blush had crept up on her face. Based on her expression, Alicent was a bit embarrassed by her own words.
“You can look at me as much as you want, Alicent.” Rhaenyra told her and then looked back to the screen. Maybe it was easier for Alicent to watch her without Rhaenyra watching her in return.
Sure enough, she noticed Alicent begin to look at her again out of the corner of her eye.
She was focusing on beating Hades so hard that she did not notice Alicent reaching out to touch her face.
“Fuck!” She said and nearly threw the controller out of her hands in surprise.
Alicent snatched her hand back.
“Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I’m sorry. I’m-” Alicent had her eyes closed and she was shaking her head. Rhaenyra noticed the tears streaming down the other woman’s face.
Seven hells.
“Alicent. Alicent it’s okay. You just took me by surprise.” Rhaenyra said to the other woman, not caring as she heard the tell tale chime of death from the game.
Alicent just kept repeating the mantra of apologies, like she was stuck.
Rhaenyra looked around helplessly. She had no idea what to do. She decided to just be bold.
She reached over slowly and took one of Alicent’s hands in her own. Alicent made a loud strangled sound of surprise in the back of her throat and went to move it away, but Rhaenyra held a bit firm. If she really wanted to, Alicent could definitely pull her hand back, but Rhaenyra wanted to encourage her movement.
She lifted Alicent’s scarred hand to her face and left it atop her cheek, moving her own hand away so that Alicent’s hand was just resting on her face.
Alicent still had that bewildered look on her face and she was still silently crying, but she was no longer frantically apologizing.
Rhaenyra sat as still as she possibly could as Alicent ran her hand over Rhaenyra’s face like a painter would a sculpture. She closed her eyes as Alicent made her way over them and held her breath as Alicent touched briefly at her lips.
After a few moments, Alicent pulled away. Rhaenyra opened her eyes. Alicent was sitting closer than before, but far away enough that no parts of their bodies were touching one another.
“Thank you.” Alicent whispered, almost too quietly for Rhaenyra to hear.
“You’re welcome.” Rhaenyra murmured back.
Rhaenyra sat back and picked up her controller again. Alicent watched her get through a run of Hades before speaking again.
“This is an Xbox?” She said. Rhaenyra thought she was probably imagining things, but she could swear Alicent sounded a bit more confident.
“Yeah. It’s the latest one. They call it a Series X which I think is stupid as hell.” Rhaenyra replied. Alicent made her soft sound of acknowledgement.
“Do you have Tetris on here?” She said to Rhaenyra as she looked at the controller in her hands.
Rhaenyra smiled back at her fondly.
“Yeah. I do.”
____________________________________________________________________________
Alicent was waiting for her in the kitchen when she got back from her shift. It was two in the afternoon. She was supposed to get off at eight that morning, but since she was working her ER rotation, she had had to stay a bit longer after a car crash incident around five in the morning.
She had texted both Alicent and Luke to let them know where she was, but it apparently didn’t stop the concern that was all over Alicent’s face as she made her way into the house.
Rhaenyra gave her a soft apology and moved to make herself a meal. She was exhausted and hungry.
Alicent was watching her, as usual. Rhaenyra had grown accustomed to her gaze upon her in the last three months.
What she had not grown accustomed to and what made her nearly jump out of her skin, was the feeling of Alicent pressing herself into Rhaenyra’s back.
She felt Alicent wrap her arms around her waist firmly and the other woman laid her head on Rhaenyra’s back in a way where she could probably feel the Rhaenyra’s heart thud loudly against her ear.
“Alicent?” She said in confusion before moving her hand to cover Alicent’s on her stomach.
“Don’t move.” Alicent said back in response. Rhaenyra moved her hand away and set it on the counter in front of her.
They stood together, with Alicent’s arms wrapped firmly around her from behind for about fifteen minutes.
It was oddly comforting for Rhaenyra, to be ensconced so firmly around the other woman. She permeated Rhaenyra’s senses. She loved the way Alicent’s strong hands felt on her. It reminded her of the way Alicent used to cling to her when they dated as teens.
As Alicent finally pulled away from her, Rhaenyra took a huge breath and turned to face her. Alicent had wrapped her arms around herself now. She looked so small.
“I know you told me you would come back. But I was convinced for some reason that you wouldn’t.” Alicent started hesitantly.
“And I could not bear the thought that I hadn’t even gotten the chance to hold you again before I lost you.” Alicent finished and then looked away from Rhaenyra. She still struggled a lot with eye contact. But that didn’t bother Rhaenyra at all.
“You can hold me as much or as often as you need Alicent.” Rhaenyra said fondly. Alicent gave her a weak and very brief smile in return.
She had gifted Rhaenyra with few smiles in the past few months, so this made Rhaenyra’s breath stutter.
“Your smile is just as beautiful as it always was.” Rhaenyra voiced. She regretted it when the words made Alicent’s face fall. Alicent turned around so that Rhaenyra could no longer see her face.
“Sorry. I’m just. Uh.” Alicent stammered. Rhaenyra gave her a small “It’s fine. It always is.” and turned around to continue fixing her food.
“ He used to tell me all the time how gorgeous I was when I smiled.” Alicent whispered. Rhaenyra halted all her motions. That was the first time Alicent had ever mentioned anything of what she had gone through in the thirteen years she was gone.
Rhaenyra felt like she might be sick. How much had he ruined for Alicent? She couldn’t even smile without thinking of the sick fuck?
“Dr. Brienne has been telling me that re-associating some things of him with new things could help me move on though.” Alicent spoke in a small voice.
Rhaenyra turned back around to face her. Alicent was once again facing her as well.
“Will you say it again, Rhaenyra?” Rhaenyra made a small startled noise.
“I’ll say it whenever you want or need Alicent. Because it is true. Yours is the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.” Rhaenyra breathed out. She had hoped it would make Alicent smile again. But the woman’s eyes just filled with tears. Rhaenyra felt murderous towards the man who had done this to her. He was lucky Luke had already killed him.
Rhaenyra watched as Alicent closed her eyes and swallowed heavily.
“Say it again.” Alicent whispered.
And Rhaenyra did.
She told Alicent she had a beautiful smile ten times before Alicent finally asked her to stop.
____________________________________________________________________________
“Look, Rhaenyra. I would really like for you to come to this session. Just one for now.” Dr. Brienne Tarth said to Rhaenyra in the cafeteria of the hospital.
Rhaenyra had been eating, alone, when the psychologist had walked over to her.
Dr. Tarth was a huge woman, taller even than Rhaenyra. She had never told the other woman, but it filled her with huge relief to work with a cis woman who was so much bigger than her.
She was also the primary psychologist working Alicent’s case.
“Why? Aren’t these sessions about just Alicent and what she needs to work through?” Dr. Tarth sighed and sat down next to Rhaenyra on the cafeteria bench.
“They are. And ideally she would not need anyone there with her in order to talk through what she has been through and what her thoughts are now, but in the five months that I have been seeing her, she really will only talk if it is about you Rhaenyra.” Tarth finished quietly.
Rhaenyra nodded and picked up her tray. She shot a quick page to the head of the ER, Luwin, to let him know where she would be.
She and Dr. Tarth made their way to the Psych rooms together. Tarth entered first and Rhaenyra followed closely behind her. Rhaenyra watched as Alicent’s eyes brightened considerably upon seeing Rhaenyra come through the door.
“Rhaenyra is going to join us for this session. Is that alright with you Alicent?” Tarth said as she sat in the couch opposite the one in which Alicent sat.
Alicent nodded surprisingly enthusiastically. Rhaenyra moved to sit on the couch with Alicent, at their usual respectable distance of a few feet.
Alicent looked a bit pained at where she was, and glanced up to Rhaenyra with a pleading look in her soft brown eyes.
Rhaenyra moved in imperceptibly closer, noting the way that Dr. Tarth’s eyes were watching them both curiously.
“Let’s start.” Tarth said. No sooner was she done speaking before Alicent slid her scarred hand into Rhaenyra’s and intertwined her fingers. Rhaenyra looked down at their joined hands in shock.
“I can’t begin to tell you how glad I am that you were there Rhaenyra.” Dr. Tarth said to her as Rhaenyra packed up her things for the night.
“Really?” Rhaenyra responded. “I didn’t even say anything.”
Dr. Tarth chuckled slightly. “ You didn’t need to say anything. But Alicent said more to me today almost more than she had in all our sessions previously. Your presence opened her up like I didn’t know she even could.” Dr. Tarth finished with a small smile.
“I wanted to mention as well, there are studies that show great promise in allowing patients with PTSD to play Tetris.” Tarth said to Rhaenyra as they both headed out the door and into the night.
“Never discourage her away from playing it.” Tarth continued.
“I would neve discourage her from something that makes her as happy as Tetris does, Brienne.” Rhaenyra replied.
____________________________________________________________________________
“What is it?” Alicent thumbed at the Switch like she was handling a bomb.
“It’s the latest Nintendo console. They call it a Switch because you can play it on the TV or in handheld.” Rhaenyra had gotten Alicent a Switch with custom dark green joycons to go with them. They even had tiny black dragons around the sides.
“Handheld? Like a Gameboy?” Alicent said in response. Rhaenyra was struck once again by how long Alicent had been held captive and by how little she had learned of the outside world while in captivity.
“Yep. It even has some Gameboy games on there. Like Tetris.” Rhaenyra said and nudged the other woman gently. Alicent gave her a tiny smile in response.
It had been seven months since they had reunited, and Rhaenyra thanked any god she knew to thank everyday for the progress that Alicent and Luke had both made.
Luke had had an easier time with things. Apparently, the man had let Luke venture out and see some of the outside world as he was growing up, unlike Alicent who had been kept in the same room for all thirteen years.
They were lucky that Luke’s love for his mother outshone the way that his father had tried to twist him against Alicent. It was that love and adoration that had saved them both.
Luke was away from home for the first time. Rhaenyra’s cousin Laena had two girls who were about the same age as Luke and she had kindly offered to let him stay at their home for a few hours. She and her husband, Rhaenyra’s uncle Daemon, lived near the state lines between The North and The Reach, so the drive to their house was not too far.
Rhaenyra was brought out of her thoughts by Alicent asking her why Rhaenyra had gotten her the Switch.
“I know you like spending a lot of time in your room or outside on the patio, and this way you can take Tetris with you when you go!” Rhaenyra said excitedly. Alicent gave her another smile, this time it was as big of a smile as Alicent ever got on her face.
“Plus I knew you would gift me with that gorgeous smile of yours. And I never break a promise you know.” Alicent’s face morphed into confusion.
“Promise?” She said uncertainly.
“Yeah. You know. When we were kids, I told you I would make sure you were never not smiling.” Rhaenyra said before kicking herself internally. The words had made Alicent burst into heavy sobs.
“Shit. Shit Alicent. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” Rhaenyra said hurriedly. She made the motion with her arms to let Alicent know that she could hug Rhaenyra if she wanted. And Alicent did.
She threw herself into Rhaenyra’s arms and wailed loudly. Alicent hiccuped and choked on her loud sobs. She was bawling so hard, Rhaenyra worried for a moment she was going to make herself sick. Rhaenyra said nothing. She just ran her hands over the top of Alicent’s back.
The room was quiet except for the sounds of Alicent’s sobs and sniffles. After almost half an hour, Alicent’s cries finally began to wind down.
Rhaenyra continued to trail her hands hesitantly over Alicent’s small frame before she pulled away gently.
She reached up slowly, giving Alicent time to react, and swiped away at an errant tear rolling down Alicent’s cheek.
“What happened Alicent?” She whispered softly.
“Were the joycons that ugly?” She joked. Alicent did not react to either of her statements. She just continued to stare sadly at Rhaenyra.
“You told me you would make sure I would always smile, once we were married Rhaenyra.” Alicent said hoarsely. Rhaenyra nodded slowly, as if to say “and?”
“You’re a woman now. We’re not allowed to get married anymore.” Rhaenyra chuckled and then her chuckle turned into an almost maniacal laugh. She continued to laugh as Alicent stared at her in horror.
“What’s so funny!? Is this some sort of joke to you?” Alicent demanded fiercely as she pulled away from Rhaenyra with a snap of her arms.
“No. No Alicent not at all.” Rhaenyra said, immediately sobering upon seeing how upset Alicent was.
“Alicent. They declared same gender marriage to be legal under all forms of marriage almost eight years ago.” The shock and confusion that crossed Alicent’s face made Rhaenyra laugh again.
Alicent threw a pillow at her head.
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“Yes, yes. Date of birth was December 27, 1992. Born at Tyrell Memorial.” Rhaenyra said for the fourth time into the phone. She was attempting, and failing miserably, to obtain some of Alicent’s old birth records.
They had realized that Luke needed a birth certificate of his own when they had attempted to enroll him at the local middle school. After a year of therapy and carefully navigating the new world around them, they had all decided it was time to try and see how he would fare at school.
Luke was spinning in the bar chair, watching Rhaenyra lose her mind in frustration at the outdated systems The Reach used to keep medical records.
“Dr. Targaryen?” A tinny voice said over the phone. “Can you leave us a number to call you back?” Rhaenyra groaned audibly and barked her number into the phone before slamming her finger onto the end call button.
“It was a year last week.” Luke said absentmindedly. Rhaenyra looked up from rubbing her eyes to stave off another headache.
“Since I had to kill him. For hurting her.” He continued. Rhaenyra had long since gotten over the blunt way that Luke just blurted things out. It was a product of his upbringing. His honesty could be refreshing.
“Yeah. I know.” Rhaenyra said and gave him a small smile, which he returned.
“I thought, at first, that I would maybe have to kill you to. If you hurt her. But I figured out quickly that was not the case.” He said, nonchalantly. Now that did ring some alarm bells in Rhaenyra’s head.
“And what about now?” Rhaenyra questioned uncertainly.
“Well now I know that killing people who hurt Mama is wrong. Because killing is wrong.” He said as though he was talking about the weather.
“But I also know that you would never hurt her. You’d kill yourself if you did.” He finished resolutely.
Rhaenyra gave him a fond smile, finally understanding why he was saying this. It was his way of showing approval over Rhaenyra.
“I would, Luke.” She replied.
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It was late at night. Rhaenyra was looking over her bookshelf when Alicent’s gentle knock came on her door.
“Rhaenyra? May I talk to you?” The auburn haired woman murmured into the room.
“Of course. What is it Alicent?” Rhaenyra responded. She looked at Alicent. The woman was wringing her hands nervously.
“You need to sit down on the bed. So I can tell you.” Alicent said subduedly. Rhaenyra followed her instructions and sat on the bed, letting her legs dangle over one side.
Alicent sat down on the bed with her, facing the other way so that their backs pressed together. Rhaenyra heard the rustle of paper.
“I wrote it down so that I wouldn’t lose my words trying to tell you.” Alicent said, so quiet Rhaenyra almost didn’t hear her.
“Rhaenyra, fifteen years ago, I decided you were the love of my life and that I would marry no one but you. And because of that, I decided to let you make love to me. It was the next day that I was taken. He took me every night the first year. It was two months after the first time with him that I found out I was pregnant with Luke.” Alicent started. Rhaenyra’s heart started to pick up. She could somehow sense what Alicent was going to say. She could feel Alicent trembling against her back.
“I called the baby Lucerys, although to him I called him Luke, so that he would not suspect Valyrian influence. I let us all live in the lie that Luke was his. After all, he had dark eyes and curly dark hair like mine. Why would he think Luke was not his child.” Rhaenyra felt queasy, like she might pass out. Alicent must have noticed because she reached around and laid her hand atop Rhaenyra’s.
“When we realized Luke needed a birth certificate, I took a lock of his hair and a lock of yours and sent them to your geneticist cousin Rhaenys. She ran the tests and let one of her colleagues run the tests in a blind to make sure it was accurate. Luke is biologically yours.” Alicent said the last sentence in a rush, like she was scared of what the words would do to her if she didn’t get them out.
Rhaenyra sat, completely still, for at least two complete minutes until Alicent spoke up again.
“Rhaenyra. I want to put your name on the birth certificate. Just in case anything happens to me-” “What would happen to you?” Rhaenyra said and turned around to look at Alicent finally. Alicent had turned around to look at her as well.
Alicent was shaking. Tears were making their way down her cheeks.
“ If something happened I-” Rhaenyra gathered Alicent’s hands in her own before Alicent can finish.
“I would never let anything bad happen to you Alicent. You know that.” Alicent let out a shaky exhale and nodded.
“I’d gladly put my name on the certificate, Alicent.” Rhaenyra paused for a moment.
“But on one condition. Because if something happens to me, I want you make sure both Luke and you are taken care of.”
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Their wedding was a quiet affair. Since Alicent essentially had no family left, no one showed up from her side. And Rhaenyra didn’t want to overwhelm her, so she only invited her own close family for her side.
Alicent looked so beautiful that it made Rhaenyra’s head spin. She wore matching Valyrian robes to Rhaenyra.
They had agreed to make the ceremony one of The Faith, but decided to wear Valyrian outfits to sate Rhaenyra’s family. Luke was the ring bearer and Rhaenyra’s uncle was her Best Man.
They make their way through their vows. Rhaenyra continued to look at Alicent reverently. They had agreed to not do anything extravagant with their vows. If Alicent started crying, she was unlikely to stop before they turned into hysterical sobs.
That was the point she was at now, after almost two years of being away from her captor. The first few months to a year, she had barely emoted at all. But now that she felt safe enough to do so, her emotions were like a storm. She cried easily. She laughed a little too loudly. She smiled a bit too long when looking at Rhaenyra or Luke.
Not that any of those things bothered Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra was too excited at how far Alicent had come and how strong she was now to be able to wear her emotions for all to see.
They shared their first dance to an instrumental piano rendition of My Heart Will Go On . Alicent did end up crying hysterically during the dance, but Rhaenrya just held her and let her cry.
After the reception, they made their way up to the room they had gotten for the night. The reception had been held in a fancy hotel so that if Alicent got too overwhelmed or tired, they could quickly make their way to safety.
The room was a suite with a king bed and a pull out couch Rhaneyra planned to sleep on. She moved to rid herself of the heavy Valyrian robes, but stopped when she noticed Alicent looking at her.
She stopped her movements. Alicent walked over to her and began to remove Rhaenyra’s clothes herself until Rhaenyra stood only in her bra and boxers.
Alicent ran her hands, still scarred but no longer so starkly reddened with fresh cuts, over Rhaenyra’s shoulders and chest.
“I think I realized I was a lesbian when we were dating as teens, you know.” Alicent whispered softly. Rhaenyra just continued to stand still and let Alicent take the lead.
“I was so confused why I was so attracted to you, as a man, when the idea of being with or dating a man otherwise disgusted me. So I told myself I was bisexual.” Alicent murmured and then looked up to Rhaenyra with a cheeky grin. Her wife tentatively groped at one of Rhaenyra’s breasts.
“I guess I was a lesbian all along huh?” She finished before leaning in to kiss Rhaenyra firmly on the mouth. It was the most confidently that Alicent had ever kissed her. Before now, all of the kisses they had shared had been chaste or not even on the lips.
As they continued the hot kiss, Rhaenyra dimly noted that Alicent was pulling her own clothes off.
“Al, Alicent.” Rhaenyra said and pulled away from her. “I don’t expect anything from you tonight. You know that right?”
Alicent fixed her with a look Rhaenyra could not identify.
“The last person who touched me was him.” Alicent began as she pulled Rhaenyra’s hands to touch her body.
Rhaenyra could tell she was trembling, but sure of her movements.
“I need sex to be associated with something else. Someone else.” Alicent whimpered as Rhaenyra touched her still covered sex.
Rhaenyra was taken aback by how wet Alicent was.
“I need you inside me, Rhaenyra.” Alicent punctuated with a soft whine.
And who was Rhaenyra to deny her anything?
“I’ll take you to the stars, Alicent.” Rhaenyra said confidently.
Alicent blessed her with a huge smile across her face.