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When Cas died they didn’t just lose Cas. They lost Dean too.
From a very young age, Dean had always witnessed death. Whether it was a monster he hunted or someone dear to him. This was not something new to him. But Cas was special. He was Dean’s rock. His sole purpose in life and the only reason he fought so hard to survive, apart from Sam of course. But it wasn’t the same. Sam was his brother. Cas was… well Cas. Cas was beautiful and kind. He was thoughtful and good-natured, but he was also snarky and playful. Which made Dean fall in love with him even more.
Love….
Cas confessed his love to Dean and Dean… didn't even get to say it back. Dean just wishes things could go back to the way they were. When him and Cas would watch old cowboys movies. When Dean would talk to Cas for hours as if time was irrelevant to them. Like it was just them in the world. But all that was gone. And Dean will never experience that joy again. What was he supposed to do now that Cas was gone? Things can't just go back to normal as much as Dean wishes they could. It would be weird without Cas around.
He wishes he could go back to the night they met. When Dean first laid his eyes on Cas. He wouldn't call it love at first sight, it was more of a ‘Where have you been all my life?’ type of moment. Dean was so clueless back then. So care-free; he had no idea how much this angel who ‘gripped him tight and raised him from perdition’ would change his life.
So here Dean was, sobbing his eyes out as the phone rang. He didn't even bother lifting his head to see who was calling because he already knew. He only had two people call his phone and one of them was gone… so it was obvious who the caller was.