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To say it’s been a long year would be an understatement. It’s been a long couple of years, if Eddie is being honest, but there’s nothing like a total mental breakdown and scaring the shit out of his kid to really solidify that it’s been a long year.
And he’s better, really, actually. He’s worked fucking hard to be better. He’s been back on the team for a while now and his sessions with Frank leave him feeling less and less cracked open and more empowered than he ever thought possible. He’s learned, though, that better doesn’t mean fixed. That there’s in fact no such thing as fixed. That sometimes he will wake up heaving and sweating and tachycardic and missing, wanting, hating himself.
It’s one of those nights, when the thought of being able to sleep again is laughable, that he slips out to the living room and flicks on the TV. Eddie needs something to hold his attention beyond weird infomercials. He’s flipping through channels aimlessly when he hears a familiar opening tune and pauses.
“This! Is! Jeopardy!” The narrator’s voice calls over the intro song. Eddie is hit with a sense memory, a soft shag carpet and spices bubbling in the kitchen and his Abuelo’s Lazyboy squeaking softly. Towards the end of his life, his grandfather always had the TV on in the evenings, tied to his chair by the oxygen tanks that kept his emphysema in check. Eddie would sit on the floor next to Abuelo in comfortable silence, relishing the time he didn’t have to be a Man.
Abuelo liked Jeopardy. He liked grunting out the answers when he knew them but mostly he liked muttering about the answers the contestants got wrong, whether he knew them or not. He would nod in approval when Eddie got one right. It was one of the only times in his young life he didn’t feel like a fuck up.
It’s the middle of the night, so obviously a rerun, but the guide on the bottom of the screen indicates the episode ran earlier today. On the screen, the camera pans down as they introduce the contestants. Mary, on her 3rd day winning streak, is a dowdy teacher type. Center stage is occupied by a graying man with loopy handwriting named Auggie. And all the way to the right is…
Evan.
Damn.
The dude is ripped, way more than any Jeopardy contestant has a right to be. He’s tall, with slicked back sandy brown hair, straining out of a button down that is definitely one size too small.
Eddie has recently come to the conclusion that there was a reason he didn’t like Ana the way he thought he should. Probably the same reason why high school baseball locker room antics made him uncomfortable in a way the other boys didn’t seem to be. It’s a hard won conclusion, choked out to Hen first and received with endless love and support by his teammates, Pepa, and his sisters. He hasn’t told his parents yet (and by extension, Abuela) but he’ll get there.
The conclusion is that he likes men. Evan is pretty much proving the hypothesis, because …damn.
Eddie only half pays attention to the show, focusing more on analyzing the immediate attraction he feels to this stranger. Eddie can count on one hand the times he’s felt something other than aesthetic appreciation for a beautiful person. He’s only very recently come to learn the difference between the two in a couple of awkward sessions with Frank - Shannon was attraction, Ana was appreciation. It’s a shock to feel a slight heat pool in his gut looking at this man.
He misses the first clue, which Mary answers. He tunes back in to hear her say, “I’ll take In-sex for $200.”
“These unhoused gastropods are hermaphrodidic, allowing them to procreate with any potential suitor they comes across.”
Evan’s name lights up.
“What are slugs?” He asks. His voice is deep, a little more gravely than Eddie would have expected. It’s hot. Objectively.
“That is correct,” Alex answers.
“I’ll take in-sex for $800.”
The clue pops up on the screen. Alex reads, “These insects mate for life and raise their young together, the only species to do so.”
Evan answers again. “What are dung beetles?”
Evan sweeps In-sex. He also does well on 17th Century Slang and Ready or Not. He stumbles on EU Architecture but by the end of the first round he’s up almost $3k from Mary and $6k from poor Auggie stuck floundering in the red.
Eddie is captivated. Unlike the other contestants, Evan is practically bouncing as he answers questions. It’s not that he isn’t serious — more like each correct answer brings him a joy no one else on the stage shares in. It’s infectious and Eddie finds himself smiling in anticipation through the normally mind-numbing commercials on bail bonds and prescription medications.
He’s eager to hear about Evan’s life when Alex goes down the line for the contestant introduction. Mary is not a teacher but works at the DMV, which, ew. Auggie is retired and a grandfather of 4 with two on the way. Alex advances towards Evan.
“What do you do?” He asks
Evan smiles, his eyes crinkling. “A little bit of everything, Alex. I’ve actually had 9 jobs in the past 6 years.”
Alex’s eyes raise. “Ah, so you’re indecisive.”
“Maybe a little,” Evan muses, “But you have to admit it’s a whole lot of fun to try something new.”
“That it is,” answers Alex, making his way back to the board.
The Double Jeopardy clues populate as Evan takes control of the board once again. In only 3 questions, he hits his first Daily Double in the Then and Now category.
“How much do you want to wager?” Asks Alex.
“Let’s make it a true Daily Double,” Evan replies with a cheeky grin. He’s confident, almost verging on cocky. It’s hot. Objectively.
Alex reads the clue. “Then Roman naturalist, now pale ale.”
Evan’s smile grows wider. “Who is Pliny the Elder?”
He gets it right — as he does most of the other questions he buzzes in to answer. Eddie is completely captivated by the joy Evan exudes as he plays. It’s the kind of energy that’s better suited for one of those game shows where people win flashy prizes and scream out answers, except it’s not over the top or cringy.
When the Final Jeopardy category is announced – natural disasters – Evan smiles so widely it’s almost comical. Eddie, having seen his fair share of natural disasters from the perspective of a first responder, does not.
The clue is, “in 1931, 3.7 million people lost their lives to this river in China due to flooding.” The camera pans to Mary, pen hovering over the slate. Next is Auggie, looking deeply out of his depth. Poor guy. Finally, Evan finishes writing with a self-satisfied smile on his face.
“Okay, let’s see what the contestants have to say.”
They start with Buck. “What is the Yellow River?” he has written in a chicken scratch.
“That is correct!” Alex says, “And he wagered…”
Buck has once again made it a true daily double bringing up his score to almost 18 thousand for the day. He wins by a landslide, beaming into the camera as the finale music plays and Alex walks over to congratulate the players.
Eddie blames the late hour and the lack of sleep when he sets his cable box to start recording Jeopardy.
Evan wins the next 3 games. Eddie loses his secret.
The shenanigans start, as they often do, with down time between calls. The downtime happens to coincide with Jeopardy, so Eddie tries to subtly change the channel. The problem lies in the fact that his coworker and closest friend at work is an eagle-eyed lesbian.
It takes Hen approximately 2 clues to clock him.
“You have a crush on the buff dude,” she states as if it’s a foregone fact.
Eddie splutters into his coffee. “Do not,” he replies too quickly as his face heats up. Nice Diaz, he thinks, subtle and smooth.
“Do to, and don’t say ‘do not’ again ‘cause I know we both have preteen boys and could dance this dance forever. You think he’s hot.”
“I mean, he's conventionally attractive,” Eddie mutters. “Anyone can see that. It’s just an observation.”
“What’s an observation?” Chim asks, bounding up the stairs and making a beeline for Hen’s bowl of shelled pistachios. She bats his hand away.
“Eddie thinks that guy is hot,” Hen says.
“Jesus,” Eddie swears under his breath, pausing a moment to internally apologize to his Abuela.
Hen was the first person he came out to, after he got back from his trip to Texas for his dad’s retirement and decided he really was going to change for himself. It was hard — they both cried — but it was also really, really good. Hen was a fierce advocate and protector when he decided to come out to the rest of the team and his family. Then he downloaded Tinder after a few drinks with Hen and Karen (Grindr after a few more, but that was swiftly deleted upon getting over his hangover the next morning) and Hen’s emotional support transitioned to whatever she’s doing now.
Chim eyes Evan thoughtfully. “Yeah, he’s attractive. You should shoot your shot.”
Eddie rolls his eyes. “He’s literally on TV. How do you expect me to ‘shoot my shot’,” he punctuates with air quotes.
“Who are you asking out?” Ravi asks from the kitchen.
“Eddie’s gonna ask out the hot guy from Jeopardy,” says Chimney.
Eddie throws his hands up in defeat.
“Is this harassment? Can I file with HR?”
“Don’t think it’s illegal to be your wingmen, Diaz,” Lucy pipes up.
“He is on television,” Eddie emphasizes like he’s speaking to young children. Which he might as well be. “You want me to jump through the screen? Write in to Jeopardy asking for his number?”
Hen looks at him sideways. Chim scoffs in disgust.
“Didn’t you have like literally a million Twitter followers when you were at dispatch?” asks Ravi.
Oh. Right.
“I kinda forgot about Twitter,” Eddie confesses.
“You’re so hopeless,” Chimney sighs. Hen plucks Eddie’s phone out of his hand. He doesn’t squawk in protest since that would be undignified.
She unlocks his phone - he should really change his password from Chris’ birthday, that’s clearly too obvious - and opens Twitter.
“I’m just gonna search ‘Evan Jeopardy’ and see what happens. You never know,” she says.
“Yeah, you never know if he has a girlfriend. Or is straight. Or isn’t interested in being propositioned by a single dad,” he huffs. Lucy snorts and Eddie glares at her.
Hen lets out a low whistle, scrolling down her Twitter search. “Damn, there are so many thirst tweets here. ‘Evan from Jeopardy please have my babies.’ ‘I’d let Evan from Jeopardy spit on me, consensually’. ‘I don’t know if Evan from Jeopardy could fit in this bussy but I’d sure let him try.’”
Eddie claps his hands over his ears. “Oh my god, please stop.”
Hen does not stop. “Ooh, he’s tagged in this one! Bold.”
She thrusts Evan’s profile under Eddie’s nose. He doesn’t want to look, but curiosity gets the better of him. Eddie takes his phone back, noticing that Hen has already followed him on his behalf. Eddie scrolls down to read some of Evan’s most recent tweets.
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
happy thursday everyone! I’ll see you tonight. here’s a hard one: 🐐
❤ 42 7:02 PM - March 30, 2023
3 people are talking about this
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
happy hump day! what is 🩸?
❤ 21 6:51 PM - March 29, 2023
1 person is talking about this
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
you mayyy see a familiar face on NBC tonight at 7:30. I’m not saying anything, but 💛
❤ 9 7:14 PM - March 28, 2023
“Oh,” he says, “the emojis are from the questions he got right.”
The heart is for the Yellow River Final Jeopardy clue from Tuesday, the blood for his daily double on Theranos yesterday, and the goat a mystery clue for the episode currently unfolding. He taps the most recent tweet to read the replies.
Danny | saw harry 10/26
@ursogoldan
replying to @goforbuck
my parents watch jeopardy n usually I don’t watch bc its so boring but ur hot so I watch
❤ 4 7:10 PM - March 30, 2023
1 person is talking about this
lulu 🧚♀️
@lululuvsu
replying to @goforbuck
spare a slice of coochie sir?
❤ 2 7:18 PM - March 30, 2023
5 people are talking about this
blair
@gopissgirl
replying to @goforbuck
hiiiiiiiiiiii 👀👀
❤ 2 7:18 PM - March 30, 2023
“You should guess what the clue is,” Chim says from behind his shoulder. “I bet he would appreciate the not-thirst tweet.”
“It’s literally just a goat, how am I supposed to guess from that?”
“Guess chevon,” says Ravi. “It means goat meat.”
“Or Michael Jordan, or Kobe or someone.”
“Or Serena Williams, or Sue Bird!”
“Or Baphomet or Pan.”
Suggestions come from all sides, overwhelming Eddie.
“If I tweet him, will you guys shut up?”
Lucy mimes zipping her lips. Begrudgingly, Eddie taps out a reply, saying it aloud for the benefit of everyone.
“My coworkers guess: chevon, Michael Jordan or Kobe or Serena Williams or Sue Bird, Baphomet or Pan.”
after a moment, he finishes with
Eddie Diaz
@EDiaz87
replying to @goforbuck
My coworkers guess: chevon, Michael Jordan or Kobe or Serena Williams or Sue Bird, Baphomet or Pan. I guess kid.
❤ 0 7:20 PM - March 30, 2023
“Kid?” asks Chimney. “You think they’d ask a question about baby goats? That seems too easy.”
“I dunno, might as well throw it out there,” Eddie replies. He’s already flying deeply outside his comfort zone, but isn’t this what Frank told him to do? The scary, exhilarating, ‘just for Eddie’ things?
He sends the tweet. As if on cue, the alarm rings and the crew jump up from the couch. Eddie pockets his phone and promptly forgets all about the tweet.
Twelve hours and one bad tractor-trailer fire later, Eddie drops on to his couch exhausted. Carla stayed overnight with Chris and took him to school this morning, so he doesn’t have to do anything for the next few hours except sleep. There’s laundry that’s piled up and grocery shopping that desperately needs to be done, as always, but sleep first.
Eddie glances at his phone as he heaves himself off the couch to brush his teeth and stops cold. On his screen are two notifications.
Eddie feels flush and freezing at the same time. He takes a screenshot and sends it to Hen.
This, he decides, is something future Eddie can deal with. Current Eddie is too tired to think about how his Jeopardy crush follows him, or how he now has something in his life called a ‘Jeopardy crush.’
He’s asleep within minutes of hitting the pillow.
“Can we watch something good?” Chris asks later that night as Eddie turns Jeopardy on.
“This is good,” he replies, perhaps too petulantly for the adult in the room.
Chris is silent for a moment. “I think maybe it would be more fun to watch The Wild Kratz”
Eddie does the parent thing he promised himself he’d never do, but does probably everyday: he bargains.
“If you let me watch this, I’ll let you have an extra half hour of screen time tomorrow. Deal?”
“Deal,” Chris says a little too quickly. Eddie will probably have to pay for this later via a kid too wired from video games to sleep, but he allows himself this lapse in single parenting. Plus, Jeopardy is educational, so really it’s fine.
Evan sweeps the first board, as Eddie expected. His favorite part of Jeopardy is the time Alex goes down the line and learns little things about his contestants. Eddie wants to know everything he can about Evan.
“So, Evan, I’ve heard there’s something you’re not telling us,” Alex says.
“Yea, I’ve been keeping a bit of a secret,” Evan replies.
“Which is?”
“Pretty much no one in my life calls me Evan. My nickname is Buck and I go by that most of the time.”
“Ah, very masculine and assertive. Do you hunt?”
Buck bashfully ducks his head. “No, it’s my last name. But you can call me that if you want, Alex.”
“Maybe,” Alex muses. The game starts up again.
That explains his Twitter handle. Eddie was wondering what that meant.
Oh, shit. Eddie forgot to check Twitter to see Evan’s - or, Buck’s? - daily clue. He scrambles to open his phone, his son side eyeing him from the other side of the couch.
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
good evening everyone! happy to be back again tonight. finally: 🌁
❤ 91 7:14 PM - March 30, 2023
17 people are talking about this
Okay, Final Jeopardy. Eddie is pretty sure that’s the golden gate, so something to do with San Francisco. He wracks his brain for what he knows about the Bay Area, which is admittedly little. Earthquakes, but they just had a natural disaster question. Golden Gate Warriors and the 49ers and the Giants, so maybe sports related? Uhh… trolleys. Hills.
He’s not going to respond, doesn’t want to look stupid in front of his Jeopardy crush, but then he scrolls down and reads the replies.
annie
@gojusugarbaby
replying to @goforbuck
pls lemme lick that birthmark
❤ 3 7:19 PM - March 30, 2023
erin
@35portlandcourt
replying to @goforbuck
it’s a shame we can only see the top half of ur body 🤪
❤ 4 7:22 PM - March 30, 2023
Alli 🔑
@slurpeeface
replying to @goforbuck
evan if u r free on friday i am also free on friday if u r free
❤ 6 7:25 PM - March 30, 2023
Well, so what if he looks stupid. At least he isn’t like…harassing Buck. It’s clear the guy is really trying hard to engage with his followers despite the fact he’s being objectified by everyone in his mentions. Plus, Frank says to do things that make him happy. The things just for him. He can do this.
He replies,
Eddie Diaz
@EDiaz87
replying to @goforbuck
Can’t say I know much about SanFran. Sports teams? Public transit that isn’t laughable? Bread bowls?
❤ 0 7:36 PM - March 30, 2023
The Final Jeopardy clue ends up being: Brought to the U.S. by a ship docking at San Francisco in 1851, it is now a major crop in the Midwest.
Which Eddie, even with a crop-based emoji, would have never guessed in a million years.
“Corn?” he guesses aloud.
“Maybe carrots,” Chris muses, which is undoubtedly incorrect but Eddie swells with pride anyway at the parallels between his time on the floor with Abuelo and his time on the couch with his son now.
Buck guesses soybeans correctly, bringing his 4 day winnings to an impressive 47 thousand.
“That guy is smart,” Chris says, just as Eddie’s phone buzzes with a notification. He opens it immediately.
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
replying to @ediaz87
a valiant effort, Eddie! my emoji may have been too obscure for that one, but thanks for indulging me.
❤ 11 8:01 PM - March 30, 2023
Stupidly, Eddie smiles at his phone, which is a tactical error he instantly regrets.
“Who’s texting you?” Chris asks.
“Uh, it’s just something on Twitter.”
Chris stares at him for a beat. “You said you never wanted to see Twitter again after you worked at it because it was a ceptpool.”
“Cesspool,” Eddie corrects, “and uh. I did say that, but sometimes people change their minds just a little.”
Chris peers at the screen and Eddie fights the urge to snatch his phone away. It’s not a big deal, he coaches himself. He lets Chris read the tweet.
“Hey, that’s the smart guy from TV! Do you know him?”
“Not really, no. He just plays a little game on with the clues and I like to participate in it.”
Chris ponders this, then asks, “Can I play too?”
A rush of fondness hits Eddie like a freight train. “Of course, buddy. We can play on Monday when the show is back.”
“Cool! Can I watch The Wild Krats now?”
“Let me check over your homework and then we’ll see, Chris,” says Eddie as his phone dings again.
Great, he’ll be hearing about this later.
He does, in fact, hear about it later. Or rather, he gleans his coworkers are up to something when they keep inconspicuously taking pictures of him throughout their next shift. Obviously it’s not actually that inconspicuous considering he notices every time, but they think they’re being sneaky. Eventually he has enough as he catches Ravi snapping a pic while he’s working out.
“Saving that for tonight?” he asks dryly.
Ravi is unperturbed at being caught. “It's not for me, bro, it’s for Evan.”
If Eddie were drinking something he would have done a spit take.
“It’s for who?”
“Your Jeopardy crush, dude. Did you forget?”
“Okay, let me rephrase,” Eddie says, “why on earth are you taking pictures of me for Buck?”
“You’re on a nickname basis?” Hen calls from over the loft balcony. This means everyone is listening in. Eddie really needs to file a formal HR complaint on these dumbasses.
“He told everyone to call him that,” Eddie mutters, suddenly embarrassed. Buck told Alex Trebek, renowned Jeopardy host, to call him that. Eddie has talked to him all of twice.
“Wait,” he says, “we haven’t established why you all are taking pictures of me.”
“For Buck,” Ravi repeats earnestly.
“What do you expect me to do, DM him random pics of me? You guys realize that’s weird and creepy, right?” This is getting ridiculous.
“God, Eddie, no,” Hen sighs, walking down the stairs. “I thought we established you’re going to post thirst traps so Buck is. Well, trapped.”
Some days, there’s a war in Eddie’s head. A lot less now, but on the bad ones he can still feel the grit under his nails and in his eyes, the hot sting of desert sun, the blood rushing through his skull. The current war in his head is undoubtedly less traumatic, but just as loud.
One side says: This is crazy. He’s probably straight or dating or both. He is not going to talk to you just because you post a picture. This is going to be embarrassing on so many levels.
The other says: Do this for yourself.
“Okay,” Eddie finds himself saying without explicit permission from his brain - the only way he would ever agree. “What do I do?”
Chimney, who by now has joined the three in the bay with Lucy trailing behind, starts to speak at the same time as Ravi.
“I took this really good one-“
“Thirst traps are best when-“
Hen holds her hand up and immediately silences the room. The interim-captain-slash-no-nonsense-mom energy radiating off her is impressively palpable.
“Everyone airdrop me your best pictures. We’ll sort through them and send the best of the best to Eddie.”
“Do I get no say in this?” Eddie asks, indignant. Behind Hen, he sees Bobby try to sneak up into the loft and calls for backup.
“Cap!”
Bobby hastens up the steps, calling back something about checking on the food (they already ate) and something about paperwork (his office is downstairs).
Eddie turns back to Hen and attempts a pathetic glare. “Cap is in on it too?”
Hen puts a hand on his shoulder and looks at Eddie so genuinely and tenderly he feels tears prick at the back of his eyes. “We all just want the best for you, Eddie. You deserve to be happy. You deserve love. But if you’re really uncomfortable, we can stop.”
He considers it. He considers deleting Twitter, deleting the Tinder profile he never opens anyway, going to work and raising his son and leaving his love life to gather dust in a box that says “danger: do not open.” He considers it, and -
“How do I post a thirst trap?”
“Yes,” hisses Ravi. Hen just smiles.
Later that evening, they’re all in the loft gathered around a shared album on Hen’s phone Lucy has titled “sip sip” which Eddie has decided not to think about. Anyway, he’s too preoccupied - with himself.
These candids are good. Eddie looks good. There’s a picture of him straining in the gym, sweat dripping down his chest. Ravi snapped him rolling a hose on scene, biceps bulging. There’s another of the puppy he coaxed out of a drainage pipe this morning gently nuzzling his chest. He looks in turn determined, strong and capable. One particular picture catches his eye more than the rest.
He’s in his full kit, laughing at a joke Chim told after wrapping up a scene this morning, eyes crinkled and smile wide and free. He looks happy. Eddie hasn’t seen himself looking truly and uninhibitedly happy in. Well, in maybe forever.
He taps the picture.
“This one.”
Chim tilts his head. “That one? You can’t even see your mus-“ Hen swats him.
“It’s perfect, Eddie.”
Eddie navigates to the share album on his own phone and saves the picture, then opens Twitter.
“Oh, wait. Do I have to caption it?” he asks.
“Obviously,” says Lucy. “Otherwise it’s fully shameless. With a caption at least you have plausible deniability.”
Eddie suddenly feels exposed — thinking of something genuine and cool in front of his well-meaning but overly-invested coworkers seems like too heavy of a lift right now.
“I’ll think about it,” he says, pocketing his phone. “I promise I’ll post it.”
Eddie gets home from work that night, makes dinner and puts his kid to sleep after the agreed upon half an hour of extra screen time. All the while he thinks about what he’s going to caption his photo. He has no idea how to make the picture sexy, or sensual, or at all appealing. He decides to go with something genuine in the end.
That evening, Eddie posts…
Eddie Diaz
@EDiaz87
Don’t be fooled by the smile, I slept for 12 hours after this was taken. Firefighting is hard work!
❤ 0 10:24 PM - April 5, 2023
…and then turns his phone off, heart pounding, to sleep.
The first thing he sees when he wakes up with his 7 am alarm is Lucy’s text in their 118 Shift A group chat, followed immediately by a series of Twitter notifications.
Eddie promptly turns over and dry heaves into the little wastebasket by his bed. Then screenshots the notifications and sends them to the group chat.
Eddie groans into his pillow. Mercifully his fairy godmother intervenes before he has to do something drastic like quit his job.
Face burning, Eddie opens the DM.
Huh. It’s fire science 101, and Eddie wants to be helpful, but,
So Eddie does. Buck asks questions along the way (how does incident command work? what is the triage system? how does a 2 alarm fire compare to a 3?) and Eddie explains MCI protocol, START triage and the alarm ranking system. But mostly they just talk about his job. Buck is just as engaged as he is on the screen, using the tapback to hit every DM with a heart or fire emoji. Eddie just keeps talking, thinking of fire stories and examples of rope rescues until -
“Dad?”
- he jumps out of his skin, dropping his phone in the process. it clatters to the floor.
“Yeah, Chris, what’s up buddy?”
“I think you forgot breakfast”
Eddie looks up at his bedside clock, which reads 8:34 am. He’s been talking to Buck for over an hour? Holy shit. Thank god it’s a Saturday or Chris would be unintentionally playing hooky.
“Wow, guess I did. I’m sorry Chris, I got caught up in something.”
His son looks at him, a wrinkled brow marring his perfect face. “Are you feeling sad?”
Guilt rushes hot through Eddie’s veins. At this point, they’ve talked at length about Eddie’s breakdown, and Chris was able to attend sessions with his own therapist, but Eddie doesn’t know if he’ll ever quite forgive himself for the months of depression he subjected his son to.
“Come here,” he beckons, and Chris is just young enough to go willingly into Eddie’s arms. “I’m not sad right now. I was just talking to someone and I lost track of time. I promise to tell you whenever I am feeling sad though, okay?”
Chris pulls from his grasp to search Eddie’s face for something. He no longer looks worried. His eyes scrunch a little, shifting back and forth between Eddie’s own.
“From work?”
And of course, Chris is old enough to be suspicious of his tech-adverse father texting past breakfast.
“Ah, no. Not from work.”
“From the army?”
“No.”
“Then who?”
Eddie feels slightly offended. “I can have other friends besides work and the army, Chris.” Chris looks skeptical, which is honestly pretty valid considering Eddie doesn’t actually have other friends.
The truth will set you free, some fake version of Frank says in his head. Frank would never be so cliche - that’s why Eddie pays him a good chunk of his disposable income each month.
“Do you remember the guy from the TV show that I talked to online?”
“The soybean man?” Chris asks.
“Yeah, exactly. He saw I was a firefighter so he had some questions to hopefully help him on Jeopardy if he gets any firefighter questions.”
Chris breaks out in a wide smile. “Does that mean you’re gonna be on TV too?” He wiggles a little in childlike excitement.
“Well, no, but maybe Buck will answer a question right because of me.” Eddie says. He decides to leave out the part where most of their conversation surrounded personal stories that will never have a place on a quiz show.
“That’s still really cool. Can you make me a waffle?”
Eddie laughs and ruffles his hair.
“Sure, buddy. Let’s get breakfast.”
Over the next several days, Eddie posts more pictures.
Eddie Diaz
@EDiaz87
Found this old photo my cousin’s kid took of me with her kitten…ignore the thumb, I couldn’t figure out how to take a picture of a picture.
❤ 20 1:39 PM - April 7, 2023
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
seems like it’s “share pictures of yourself with a cat” day. not mine but I wouldn’t be opposed to having one. some cats can smell and alert to cancer!
❤ 193 4:46 PM - April 7, 2023
38 people are talking about this
aly 🔞
@sitonmyphace
replying to @goforbuck
omg ur fingers r stroking the wrong pussy babe
❤ 17 5:10 PM - April 7, 2023
3 people are talking about this
Eddie Diaz
@EDiaz87
Don’t think I pull off the puppy dog eyes as well as my son…
❤ 13 1:39 PM - April 7, 2023
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
replying to @ediaz87
you have a son? I love kids
❤ 4 4:46 PM - April 7, 2023
1 person is talking about this
Eddie Diaz
@EDiaz87
replying to @goforbuck
I love this one
❤ 4 1:39 PM - April 7, 2023
Eddie Diaz
@EDiaz87
Gotten back into fighting lately….safely and legally, of course.
❤ 36 9:40 AM - April 9, 2023
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
replying to @ediaz87
was that ever a question?
❤ 7 9:44 AM - April 9, 2023
1 person is talking about this
Eddie Diaz
@EDiaz87
replying to @goforbuck
I plead the 5th
❤ 4 9:49 AM - April 9, 2023
Moments after Eddie replies to Buck, he gets a DM.
What the fuck.
Eddie never actually thought to check up on who else Buck is talking to on Twitter, since that’s invasive and weird, but now he immediately goes to Buck’s tweets & replies. He scrolls down a little until he sees what he’s looking for.
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
replying to @chimchimmery
hahahahahahahaha
❤ 1 5:21 PM - April 7, 2023
Eddie clicks this tweet to expand the thread
Chimney 🔥
@chimchimmery
replying to @goforbuck
Posting thirst trap cat pictures? Any particular reason, Buck?
❤ 1 8:35 PM - May 14, 2023
1 person is talking about this
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
replying to @chimchimmery
maybe I just like cats
❤ 1 5:15 PM - April 7, 2023
1 person is talking about this
Chimney 🔥
@chimchimmery
replying to @goforbuck
Cats, hot men holding cats, tomato tomahto
❤ 1 8:35 PM - May 14, 2023
1 person is talking about this
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
replying to @chimchimmery
hahahahahahahaha
❤ 1 5:21 PM - April 7, 2023
Eddie is literally going to kill Chimney.
Eddie blushes. He wants to say, “I’ll volunteer, to get them off your back” or something equally horny and stupid but the last thing Buck wants is to be objectified. Instead he says,
He realizes his mistake as soon as he hits send.
Eddie gets whiplash from the abrupt turn from joking about dicks (Flirting? Was that flirting? Does buck think he’s cute?) to asking about Christopher.
Eddie checks the time. It’s 11:25 pm, way too late to be staying up considering he has a shift starting at 7 tomorrow, but talking to Buck seems to throw him into a black hole, time-wise.
LA? Eddie simultaneously flushes and runs cold. Oh shit.
Eddie has been catapulted into a quandary with dire consequences. Does he protect his relative internet privacy and keep talking to Buck without disclosing where he lives? Or does he let him know and potentially kindle a friendship outside of the ones he has in the station for the first time in. Ever.
He does the only thing he can do: reaches out for support.
He switches back to his DMs with buck, types and retypes his message until he settles on
Eddie snorts. Buck is hot (objectively) but he’s also funny, and genuine, and kind. Eddie may or may not have a problem. But the last thing Buck needs is to be hit on by some random dude. He’s going to simply show Buck around the city he’s been hanging out in for a while. This isn’t a date.
“It’s a date,” says Lucy.
They’re headed to a call, some shortness of breath thing that is probably nothing but warrants a code 3 response all the same. Eddie considers turning his headset off so he can’t have this conversation. Tinnitus from the sirens would probably be less painful.
“It’s not. I’m just showing him around, it’s no big deal.”
“Did he or did he not call you cute?” asks Hen.
Eddie considers flinging himself into traffic. Too bad the doors automatically lock when they’re driving.
“I shared that with Karen in a moment of wine-induced weakness, which I will never do again clearly. And no, he didn’t call me cute. He said the fact I was being earnest was cute. That’s different.”
Lucy scoffs. Ravi rolls his eyes. Chim stays mercifully silent, having learned his lesson after Hen chewed him out for interfering with Eddie’s thing.
Bobby, who normally chooses to stay out of the station shenanigans, turns from his captain’s chair and says, “Sounds to me like you should just put yourself out there, Eddie. Feel it out, but I don’t think you should assume he’s not interested or you’re going to set yourself up to be closed off before anything begins. It sounds like he’s been engaging with you just as much as you’ve engaged with him, so it couldn’t hurt to go into this like it’s a blind date. That’s how we used to do it in the days before Twitter and Grindr and all that.”
Eddie feels himself turn beet red. Ravi gasps, delighted. “Cap, what do you know about Grindr?”
“Oh, it’s this internet site May uses to talk about TV shows she likes. She met a friend on there and they went to a concert together I think.”
Beside him, Ravi deflates. “That’s Tumblr, Cap.”
“Oh, well, same thing.”
“It’s really, really, not,” Chim deadpans.
“Yeah,” Ravi laments, “especially after the porn ban.”
Jesus, and Eddie cannot stress this enough, Christ.
Tuesday comes and Eddie is going to vibrate out of his skin. He’s broken his vow to never talk to Karen again, his phone propped up on the desk as she peers at him through Facetime from her office.
“Is the Henley too casual, though?” he asks. “I don’t want him thinking I’m a slob.”
She sighs, exasperated. “For the 10th time, no. It looks nice. You said you didn’t wanna go too sexy on the first meeting, which I think would be perfectly fine, but the Henley is nice without being too warm for the day.”
“Which color though? I have uh…” Eddie quickly counts, “seven, I think. The black one is in the wash. Should I wash it?”
“No, you’ll be late. Do the white. It looks good with your complexion.”
“It’s not too see-through?” he frets.
“It’s just see-through enough. Trust me. I have a meeting in five so I have to go, but you got this.” Karen’s voice softens. “It’s going to go great. You’re a catch, Eddie, and he’s a lucky man if he gets to experience that.”
If Eddie’s voice is a little rough when he thanks her, she doesn’t comment. Just blows a kiss, calls a quick “good luck, text me after!” and hangs up.
“I’m a catch,” Eddie tells himself as he combs his hair.
“He’s lucky to get to know me,” he chants as he sits in predictable midday traffic.
“I got this,” he whispers as he pulls up to the hotel Buck has been put up in by Jeopardy and texts him Out front.
Does he believe any of these mantras? No. But it helps people, apparently, and he needs all the help he can get.
Especially once he sees Buck stride out of the hotel’s sliding glass doors.
The man is 10 times hotter (objectively) than he is on TV, and that’s saying something. His muscles bulge out of his button-up short sleeve. His legs go on for miles, glutes and calves straining against dark wash jeans. His hair isn’t as gelled as it is on TV, curling softly against his head, and his birthmark nestles against his eyebrows, only serving to highlight how blue his eyes are. Eddie feels a trickle of blood run south and wills himself to think of yesterday’s gnarly spider bite call to temper the blaze in his belly. Fuck, this is going to be harder than he realized.
No pun intended.
Buck practically bounds over to the passenger side of the truck and hops in. He holds his hand out in a formal shake.
“Hi, Eddie! I’m Buck.”
Eddie smirks. “I figured, yes. Eddie.” He humors Buck by grasping his hand and isn’t surprised to feel worn calluses. At this point, Buck has shared several of his past job experiences as Jeopardy anecdotes. Eddie wouldn’t mind seeing Buck in his rancher gear. Just for curiosity’s sake, obviously.
Buck holds Eddie’s hand a beat longer than is expected, and Eddie swears the guy gives him a subtle once-over.
“Lovely to meet you officially, Eddie. I have to warn you, if you’re a serial killer planning on offing me, there will be a lot of NBC execs really pissed at you.”
Eddie is going to reply with something along the lines of pretty sure the LAFD wouldn’t be dumb enough to hire a serial killer but then he remembers Jonah, so instead he lifts his hand and says, “Pinky promise I won’t intentionally kill you.”
He expects a quip back — it’s not what he gets. Buck’s eyes go soft and a sweet almost bashful smile stretches across his face. He holds up his pinkie, gently wrapping it around Eddie’s. “Pinky promise,” he replies.
In what is seeming to be typical mile-a-minute Buck fashion, the moment of softness dissolves with a quick clap of his hands.
“Okay, tour guide, what do I need to see?”
Eddie is having a wonderful time. Buck is even more charming in person than he is over text, all wide smiles and eager facts about anywhere Eddie shows him. Buck’s favorite is the Venice canals, which of course he knows everything about but had never seen.
“Y’know when the canals were rehabilitated they had to find a building substance that was safe to use and environmentally friendly, so they tested 2 different ones right across from each other for years to see how they fared. They ended up picking the one the ducks preferred.”
Eddie smiles at Buck, thoroughly dazzled by his infectious wonder. And his biceps. Try as he might, he can’t stop stealing glances at Buck’s general…physique. He doesn’t think Bucks noticed — if he has, he’s too polite to comment.
“Actually, did you know-“
“Evan? From Jeopardy?”
This has been happening all day. Random people walk up to them to ask Buck (or Evan, as no one else seemed to pick up on his preferred name and Buck decided not to officially change it on the show since “these people don’t really know the real me anyway”) for a picture, to let him know how much they enjoy watching his run, or to just say hello. Everyone has been respectful and kind. Eddie had forgotten that Twitter is (in his son’s words) a ‘ceptpool’ and people in real life do not thirst tweet.
It’s lovely to watch Buck interact with his fans. He acts as if they’re all old friends coming up to say hello. It’s evident each person he speaks with feels special as they walk away. It’s incredible, but it’s also making Eddie feel a little unsure of their friendship. Buck may be treating him as he would any other fan.
This woman calling out to them now is fairly young, maybe in her mid 20s, and gorgeous. She’s also ogling Buck in a way Eddie would if he were totally shameless and also a creep.
Besides him, Buck’s posture changes in the space between breaths. He goes from open and inviting to closed and hunched. Eddie is immediately on alert.
“Hi, yeah,” he says. “Did you want a picture or something?”
She smiles, and Eddie swears her canines glint in the bright southern Californian sun. It reminds him of some kind of big cat in the Savannah, waiting for its prey to get close enough to pounce.
“Well, actually, I’ve been going to trivia recently and could really use a new partner. There’s a game at a bar near my house tonight, if you want to go. I’d make it worth your while.” She says this so suggestively it makes Eddie’s skin crawl.
Buck shrinks down even more, if that’s possible. He scratches his neck and rocks back on his feet a bit, almost stumbling as he leans too far. Eddie automatically reaches a hand to Buck’s hip to steady him. The woman’s eyes flick over to him, clearly noticing him for the first time.
“I’m actually um,” Buck awkwardly gestures in Eddie’s direction, “busy right now, so…”
The woman’s eyes are comically wide as she snaps back and forth between Buck and Eddie. Eddie removes his hand from Buck’s waist and shoves it in his pocket for something to distract from how utterly awkward this is.
“Oh, god, I’m sorry, no problem, I’m so sorry I’m just gonna go, uh good luck on your game, I’m so sorry,” she stammers out before turning tail and fleeing in the direction of the street, plowing down several alarmed ducks on the path.
Eddie has no idea what to say. Buck turning down a hot woman is a good sign, but also he could just be doing this for Eddie’s benefit thinking it would be rude to plan a date as Eddie waits on the sidelines. He also looks really uncomfortable, though, so Eddie sticks with a well worn standard of weird situations.
“You okay?”
“Oh, yeah, totally,” Buck hastens to reply as they turn back down the path, “not the first time that’s happened since getting on the show. It’s just weird when people act like they know you and they really don’t. I’m sorry she interrupted us, though.”
Eddie shakes his head. “You have nothing to apologize for, I’m happy to be a scapegoat for an aggressive fan. If anything, I should be the one apologizing for tweeting at you like I knew you.”
Buck stops in his tracks, halting Eddie with a hand to his elbow. “Woah, no. You responded to a game I wanted to play, and if I remember correctly I DM’d you first. You’re the one who has nothing to apologize for. I’m having a great time.”
“Yeah?” Eddie asks. He’s also doing an incredible job of not melting at Buck’s touch, thank you very much.
“Yes, one hundred percent. Besides, there are absolutely fans I would go out with.” He squeezes Eddie’s elbow one more time before letting it drop as he points to a street to their left. “Did you know that used to be a canal? There were actually thirteen of them in the beginning.”
Eddie fights to tamp down a wave of disappointment. He must have known there was a possibility Buck would be into at least one of the horny fans in his mentions, but had pretty much ignored that fact in the hope he could cut through the noise. He can be Buck’s friend though. It’s clearly what the man needs and Eddie’s more than happy to provide. What about what you need, Eddie? comes the Frank voice in his head. I could use a new friend too, he thinks back. This is fine.
Eddie is sitting in the parent pick-up line when all hell breaks loose. He dropped off Buck half an hour ago. They lingered a bit at the canals, talking about everything and nothing, before Eddie realized if he didn’t get Buck back right then he was going to be late to pick up Chris. Buck offered to get an Uber, but Buck’s hotel is on the way to Chris’ school so it’s not out of his way. It does mean he could only offer a quick, “thank you, I had a great time, do this again soon, great I’ll let you know my next day off” before he tore out of the parking lot and merged onto the Marina freeway to get to Chris’ school.
He’s there now when he gets the text and link from Ravi.
Eddie clicks the link, anxiety thrumming through his veins.
ash
@ashley_oface
omg I saw buck from jeopardy at the canals and he was on a date WITH A MAN 😩😩😩 pack it up ladies
❤ 430 1:30 PM - April 11, 2023
57 people are talking about this
andy
@shesmother
replying to @ashley_oface
they asked me what i’d say when the gays lost….I guess we’ll never know
❤ 49 1:38 PM - April 11, 2023
Kait C.
@kaiiiiitlyn
replying to @ashley_oface
NOOOOO there go all my fantasies…
❤ 1 1:51 PM - April 11, 2023
toadstool
@chalmers
replying to @ashley_oface
Huh, I searched his tweets for gay and bi and nothing came up except some news articles he shared…nothing on insta either
❤ 4 2:13 PM - April 11, 2023
pudding bug
@sanjunoperro
replying to @ashley_oface
Are you seriously outing someone? Have we learned nothing?
❤ 39 2:13 PM - April 11, 2023
2 people are talking about this
ash
@ashley_oface
this guy he was with was also hot af, I’m gonna find him I stg
ash
@ashley_oface
omg I saw buck from jeopardy at the canals and he was on a date WITH A MAN 😩😩😩 pack it up ladies
❤ 51 1:56 PM - April 11, 2023
7 people are talking about this
Before Eddie can even begin to process what he’s seeing, he gets a notification he’s been mentioned in a tweet by someone named ‘ash’. He frantically clicks the banner notification, heart in his throat.
ash
@ashley_oface
omg @ediaz87 is the dude Evan was with. a hot firefighter. kill me how could I compete
❤ 15 2:47 PM - April 11, 2023
1 person is talking about this
ash
@ashley_oface
replying to @ashley_oface
omgggggg their first tweet is him playing the stupid emoji game…this guy is living Y/N’s life fr I’m gonna fling myself off a cliff bella swan style
❤ 2 2:38 PM - April 11, 2023
Eddie drops his phone in horror. Almost immediately he gets two notifications, followed by about 30 more in quick succession.
Eddie fumbles to his privacy settings and locks his account, heart pounding and palms sweating. He just about jumps out of his skin when Chris bangs on the truck door with one of his crutches. Eddie takes a deep steadying breath before getting out to help Chris with the step up. This can wait until he gets home.
Later that night, after Eddie has sent Chris to finish up his homework in his room and Ravi has thoroughly explained how to “softblock” his most recent followers and ignore the mountain of new requests, Eddie gets a text.
Buck starts typing something, the little iOS dots popping up in their message thread before disappearing for a moment and popping up again. It’s a minute or so of Eddie staring anxiously at his screen before Buck sends his message.
Oh. Huh. Okay.
The Frank in Eddie’s head says take charge of your life, Eddie. Do something just for you.
This time, Eddie’s happy to listen.
A few moments later, Eddie gets a notification that Buck tweeted. He turned on Buck’s notifications so he wouldn't miss the emoji game and just kind of kept them on. He clicks the banner.
Evan (from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
My private life is not for public consumption. Please don’t pry into my life or the lives of the people I spend time with. I will block anyone who does this.
❤ 304 8:25 PM - April 11, 2023
33 people are talking about this
Despite how shitty the past few hours have been, Eddie smiles down at his phone.
Eddie is no longer smiling. In fact, he is doing the exact opposite. A frown mars his face, his brow creased in frustration as Pepa says, “I’m sorry, Edmundo, I wouldn’t be able to take him until this evening.”
Eddie fights the urge to sigh, knowing it’s not his aunt’s fault. “It’s okay, Pepa, thank you anyway. I’ll figure something out.”
There’s only one thing to do with Carla sick, Pepa busy and all his normal babysitters on shift since he traded this one so Greene could go see his son’s first ballet recital tomorrow.
He has to cancel with Buck.
It had been hard enough to get this date set up. Eddie’s schedule has been weird and Buck’s has been crazy between studying and his newfound fame. Now that he’s close to the half a million earnings mark after 13 games won, he’s getting a lot of media requests. Apparently NBC is really incentivizing him to do them so he’s been fielding requests from E!, Time, and even People. He told Eddie last night that he ‘set the record straight’ about his eligibility. Eddie doesn’t know what that means but it’s also not really his business so he doesn’t pry.
Buck picks up on the second ring. “Hey Eddie! If you’re there, you’re half an hour early, I’m not ready yet.”
“Yeah about that,” Eddie sighs, “Chris’ home aide is sick and I can’t find anyone else to take him. I’m so sorry to do this at the last minute but I’m going to have to cancel.”
“Oh, okay.” Buck pauses and Eddie waits for him to make some excuse and run for the hills, waits for him to realize dating a single dad is a nightmare.
“Do you wanna just bring him?” Buck asks instead.
Bring him?
“Bring him?” Eddie repeats dumbly.
“Totally makes sense if you’re not comfortable, I don’t want to impose anything, but if you want to go to the aquarium or something I'd be happy to take you guys. I’ve been wanting to go but uh,” he chuckles a tad self-consciously, “I’d feel a little weird going by myself.”
Eddie feels unhinged. The hot guy from TV wants to take him and his son to the aquarium. This doesn’t happen to people, at least not people like him. Twitter is the best thing ever invented.
“Let me ask Chris,” he says, who perks up from his place playing switch on the couch.
Eddie lowers the phone.
“Buddy, would you want to go to the aquarium with a-“ he falters, unclear how to refer to Buck, “a friend of mine?”
“Who? Hen and Denny?”
“Ah, no. My friend Buck”
Please say yes, Eddie thinks. Please say no, he thinks simultaneously.
His indecision doesn’t last long.
“Buck from the TV?!” Chris screeches, bouncing and rocking a bit on the couch the way he does when he’s full of unbridled joy. Eddie hears Buck’s loud laugh echoing tinny from his lowered phone. His cheeks heat up.
“Yes, Chris, Buck from the TV.”
Chris is vibrating with excitement. “Are we going to be on TV?!”
“Definitely not. We could go to the aquarium though, if you want to.”
Chris nods so hard Eddie is afraid he’s going to hurt his neck. He raises the phone, pretends he doesn’t involuntarily gulp down the bile threatening to rise, and says, “Okay, we’re in. Meet you at 1?”
—
When Eddie and Chris arrive at the aquarium, it’s teeming with people. Buck is fairly easy to spot despite that - partially because he’s taller than most of the moms corralling preschoolers toward the entrance and partially because he’s the only person above the age of ten bouncing on his feet the way he is. Buck waves them over as he and Chris carefully maneuver through the aquarium-bound hoards.
Buck gives Eddie a quick wink (Eddie pretends butterflies don’t erupt in the pit of his stomach) and crouches to Chris’ height. Chris is in middle school now and not actually that small anymore, something else Eddie doesn’t want to think about, but Buck is big enough that being on his knees still puts him at a respectable pre-teen height. Buck on his knees is another thought Eddie stuffs into his rapidly expanding denial file folder.
“Hey, I’m Buck, your dad’s friend,” Buck puts his hand out for Chris to take. It hangs in the air for a moment as Chris shifts his weight to be able to take his hand off his crutch but it doesn’t seem to phase Buck. He waits patiently until he can dwarf Chris’s hand in his.
“Your dad tells me you’re the coolest kid he knows, so I’m pretty excited to meet you,” Buck says.
Chris, ever humble, replies, “Yeah, I’m probably the coolest kid he knows,” although after a moment he magnanimously tacks on, “Denny can make robots so he’s cool, too.”
Buck lights up. “You should tell Denny about the Robobee. It’s the smallest robot ever and they use it for farming and when there are natural disasters.”
“Does it look like a bee?” Chris asks as Buck stands and they begin to make their way to the front entrance of the building.
“Uh, not really. It sort of looks as if a dragonfly stood up straight on its body and all its legs were at the bottom.”
“Then why didn’t they call it the robodragon?”
“That is an excellent question, Chris. Maybe I’ll ask if any of my followers happen to be tiny robot scientists with insider knowledge.”
Eddie can’t help but smile at the way Buck so effortlessly begins to interact with Christopher. He notices the other man slows his steps considerably while walking next to Chris, but not in a way that would make his son feel like Buck was making a concession for him – more like Buck is so engrossed in conversation that he has to slow his pace to fully absorb everything passing between them.
Buck reaches out to put a hand on Eddie’s shoulder when he turns to the ticketing booth.
“Don’t worry about it, I already got them,” he says as he produces 3 tickets from his jacket pocket.
“Oh, okay. I can get cash from an ATM later, or I think one of my coworkers set up a Venmo account for me at some point so we could figure that out too.”
“No, I mean I’ve got them,” Buck repeats. “My treat.”
Eddie bristles, just for a moment. It’s a single dad thing — it’s always been him and Christopher, at least after moving from El Paso and the suffocation that threatened to overtake his entire life before he forced himself to leave. If Chris wants something, Eddie scrimps and saves and cuts corners until he can afford it. As if sensing this, Buck says, “I don’t know if you keep up with my total, but believe me — these tickets aren’t an issue. I would really like to do this for you, if you’ll let me.”
And oh, right, Buck hit 490 thousand last night. Eddie was watching, as he always does.
“Okay,” he breathes, “thank you.”
Buck’s eyes crinkle. “Of course, Eddie.” He says this so softly Eddie’s heart free falls into his stomach. He tries not to pinch himself to prove it’s all a dream and he’ll soon be waking up in his austere room worried about bills.
Buck claps then, bright and loud, and Eddie flinches out of his head. “Alright, Diaz boys. Ready to see some marine life?”
See marine life they do. Or, Buck and Chris do. Eddie has somehow been relegated to holding Chris’ backpack he insisted on bringing and standing back as his date and his son tear the aquarium up.
He doesn’t mind at all. Chris is bright and happy, mirroring Buck’s own unfettered excitement. Buck is all facts and wide grins.
They’re crowded up against a tank of weedy sea dragons when it happens. A mother drags her stroller up to the tanks and taps Buck on the shoulder.
“Excuse me, are you Evan? From Jeopardy?”
Buck turns around, his smile dimming to something pasted on. “Yeah, I am.”
“Do you mind if I get a picture with you? I’m a huge fan.”
Buck doesn’t hesitate to respond. “I’m sorry ma’am, I’m actually hanging out with someone I’m a huge fan of right now.” His smile clears as he gestures to Chris with his face shoved up against the glass. “We’re studying up.”
The woman looks down and notices Chris for the first time. Her expression shifts to one of understanding.
“Of course, I didn’t see you had your son there. I hope you two enjoy your day.” She pivots and pushes the stroller away.
Eddie can’t move. Eddie can’t breathe. From the tank, Buck shoots him a look, half panic and half worry. He takes a step from Christopher, oblivious to anything but the dragons (technically pipefish, as Buck had said moments before they were interrupted).
“I’m sorry, Eddie. I didn’t uh. She walked away before I could correct her.”
Eddie forgets to respond.
“Eddie?” Buck sounds really worried now. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” he says faintly. “I’m fine, Buck. I just need to make a call.”
Bucks expression does not clear up at all. “If you want to leave I’d understand.”
“No,” Eddie says sharply. “No, not at all. Just give me one second.”
Buck nods warily and takes a step back to stand by Chris, who’s now beckoning him to a tank of jellyfish.
Eddie pulls his phone out and quickly navigates to his favorites, tapping the third number on the list.
“Pepa? Can you take Chris tonight after all?”
Chris isn’t happy about being dropped off for dinner. He’s in full preteen pout mode.
“I want to stay with you and Buck,” he crosses his arms the best he can while he has his wrists through his crutches and makes sure his point is made with a melodramatic huff.
“Buck and I need to go do something, Chris.” He ignores Pepa’s single raised eyebrow. Whatever emergency she thought warranted taking Chris last minute was proven false by pulling up with Buck in the passenger seat. He’d elected to stay inside Eddie’s truck but he's clearly watching Chris put up a fight.
“You’re gonna have a good time. Buck and I are just gonna be boring anyway, Pepa will be way more fun.”
“Doubt it,” Chris mumbles.
“Chris, manners!”
Pepa just snorts, and pats Chris on the back in a ‘get moving mister’ kind of way as he sullenly walks into the house. Eddie briefly considers scampering away while her back is turned, but Pepa is like a hawk — once she has her eyes set on juicy prey, she’s gonna get it.
“So who’s this?” She gestures to the truck.
“Just a friend,” Eddie lies.
“I have cable, Eddie.”
Oh god. His ears burn. He lowers his voice and hisses, “if you knew who he was, why did you ask?”
“Because I wanted to know who he was to you. Also, don’t take that tone with me — there’s only one teenager in this house.”
“Sorry. He’s uh. We’ve been hanging out. He’s really nice. And smart. And sweet to Chris. I, um. I like him, I guess.”
This is the most embarrassing conversation he’s ever had with Pepa, hands down.
“That’s great, Eddito. You deserve someone like that.” She pats his back the same way she had with Chris, the ‘get out of here’ apparent. “Be safe.”
“Oh my god, goodbye.”
Eddie hastens to the car and swings in as Pepa laughs at him in her Pepa-y way, which is to say there’s a hint of a smile on her face and a slight cock of her waist. She might as well have tears streaming down her cheeks.
Eddie doesn’t even try to will his blush down once he’s in the truck. The air feels thick as he backs out of the driveway and pulls off Pepa’s quiet street.
“Where to?” Buck asks a bit awkwardly. “If you need to take me back to the hotel I’m pretty sure it’s the other direction.”
“I thought maybe we could go to mine,” Eddie says.
“Oh.” Buck sounds genuinely surprised. “I kinda thought you never wanted to see me again and were dropping Chris off so you could tell me.”
Eddie balks. “What gave you that idea?”
“After that lady called Chris my son you got kinda quiet and reserved and then you said there was a change of plans and Chris had to go to your aunt’s house.”
Well. Buck has a point there — not really a good look on Eddie’s part.
“Sorry, it wasn’t that. Sort of the opposite.”
Buck furrows his brow and cocks his head, asking the question without asking.
Do this for yourself, Eddie.
“When you said no to taking a picture with that woman just to make sure you didn’t step away from my son, when you spent time with him and listened to him and took him seriously, it was —“ It’s now or never. Eddie can do this. “It was hot. Like, I-need-to-drop-off-my-kid-immediately hot.”
Buck’s eyes shoot to his hairline for just a moment before he breaks out into a wide grin.
“Were you horny at the aquarium, Eddie Diaz?”
“Eugh, god, don’t say it like that! I sound like a pervert. I was trying very hard not to be horny at the aquarium.”
“Men with kids do it for you?” Buck is practically gleeful.
“I guess. Or maybe not. Maybe just you, with my kid.”
Buck ducks his head, suddenly bashful. A hint of pink dusts his cheeks as Eddie files away this reaction for later. “So we’re going back to your house to…”
Eddie has no idea how to answer that, really. To what? Make out? Talk about the future?
“To be without a kid in tow,” he ends up answering.
“I won’t say no to that,” Buck replies.
It’s not a long drive to Eddie’s, but it feels like years. Now that it’s out there that he’s attracted enough to Buck to do something about it, he can’t stop thinking (psyching himself out) about what comes next.
Buck doesn’t seem as hung up on the existential implications of a gay…whatever this is. Not a hook-up, really. Whatever they’re about to do is moving rapidly compared to his relationship with Shannon and at the speed of light compared to his relationship with Ana, though, so it’s as close to a hook-up as he’s ever gotten. Although it’s probably not super likely a guy would meet their booty call’s kid before said hook-up.
Anyway, Buck doesn’t seem as hung up. Not externally at least, since he can’t seem to stop sneaking pointed glances at Eddie’s face, his hands on the wheel, his chest…lower…
Eddie grips the wheel and repeats an eyes-on-the-road version of a hail Mary. He chances a look at Buck when he hits the last red light before turning into his neighborhood. Buck winks. Eddie feels heat travel to his groin and has to rip his eyes away to finish the drive to his house. He’s immensely grateful in this moment to have a driveway — parallel parking is hard enough with his mile-long truck, he can’t imagine what a bitch it would be to parallel park while half-hard.
“This is it,” he gestures to his duplex. “If you want to come in.”
Buck snorts. “No, I think I’m just gonna call an Uber from here.”
Eddie rolls his eyes, mostly at himself for being so awkward, and steps down from the truck and toward the front door. His hands tremble as he unlocks his door and steps inside, toeing off his shoes as Buck gently shuts the door behind him and does the same. The heat between them is palpable, the air baited, like a single spark would light up the house and everything in it. Eddie turns toward Buck, feeling completely out of his depth. Buck flexes his fingers against his thigh as his eyes dart around the room quickly before landing back on Eddie’s.
“Do, uh…do you need anything? Like water or…something?” Eddie asks lamely. Fuck, he has no game.
Buck takes a tentative step forward. “Not water, no.”
Eddie’s voice drops to a husky whisper as he asks, “then what?”
Buck takes another step forward, then a third. He’s close enough that Eddie has to raise his chin a bit to look into Buck’s eyes. He makes a pit stop on the way up, to stare at Buck’s lips just as his tongue darts out to lick them. Eddie’s gaze doesn’t go unnoticed by Buck, who’s now fighting a smile as he whispers, “just you.”
Do this for yourself. Faking a confidence he absolutely isn’t feeling, Eddie lifts one hand to the dip between Buck’s neck and shoulder, the other to steady his waist. “I think that can be arranged,” he says before finally closing the distance between them.
If there were any question about his sexual orientation, it is firmly dashed upon the rocks as an ocean of desire overcomes him. He loved Shannon and he cared about Ana, enjoyed being with them as much as he thought any man did, but this? This is everything he didn’t know could be possible when kissing another person.
As a prime example, If you would have asked Eddie a few weeks ago what his first kiss with another man would be like, he assumes he would have used words like “soft,” “tentative,” or “sweet.”
Eddie would have been wrong.
It’s as if some other more suave and confident Eddie Diaz from an alternate universe where he didn’t repress himself for several decades has switched places with this universe’s Eddie. There are only a few moments between when their lips first touch and when Eddie is deepening their kiss and pushing Buck up against the living room wall.
Buck lets out a surprised noise, somewhere between a squeak and a moan, and allows Eddie to take the lead. Not that he’s a passive kisser – quite the opposite. If kissing is a dance, Buck is a skilled follow. Eddie twists his head and Buck is right there, Eddie slips his tongue into Buck’s mouth and Buck sucks lightly. Every move Buck makes goes straight to Eddie’s dick, to the point where he’s starting to strain against his jeans in a way that’s not particularly pleasurable. He’s just about to suggest they do something about it when Buck disentangles their tongues and pulls back. Eddie immediately ducks down to suck on his neck. Buck lolls his head to the side, indulging it for a moment before tugging on Eddie’s hair.
“As much as I’m loving this,” Buck pants, “I sort of need to be TV ready in two days and I know Jeopardy’s MUA is going to kill me if I show up with a hickey she has to cover.”
Eddie doesn’t really care about the workplace challenges of a NBC make-up artist right now, but it’s also not his body, so he reluctantly detaches. Buck takes advantage of the moment to slip out from behind the wall and tug Eddie by his belt loops toward the couch.
“Walls are great, couches better,” he explains as he pushes Eddie’s back down on the cushions and smoothly climbs on top of his lap, bracketing Eddie’s thighs.
“Very astute,” Eddie replies as he grips Buck’s waist. “You should try out for some kind of game show where you can show off those smarts.” Buck grinds his hips down as an admonition, but it only serves to rip a small moan out of Buck’s throat as Eddie bites down on his own. The friction borders on painful, what with 2 pairs of jeans (and their zippers) in the way, but it’s still a heady pressure.
The couch really isn’t big enough for two grown men to rut on, but they’re making it work. Eddie sends up a quick prayer that Buck won’t lose his balance and bean himself on the coffee table - they’re in the 118’s range and Eddie would never live down his coworkers walking into his Sex Sent Me to the ER: Celebrity Edition nightmare.
Buck bends down and licks into Eddie’s mouth once again, albeit much sloppier than before. Experimentally, Eddie grips Buck’s hips a little tighter and thrusts up as he bite’s Buck’s lower lip and the sound Buck makes can only be described as wanton. Eddie’s never been with someone who’s made this much noise before their clothes even came off and he’s quickly realizing it’s way hotter than he could have imagined.
Buck drops his head to Eddie’s shoulder as he rolls his hips forward and back again.
“You’re really good at this,” his voice comes muffled from somewhere underneath Eddie’s ear. “I’m kind of jealous of everyone who got to do this to you before I did.”
Eddie snorts. “Luckily for you, you’re the first.”
Everything stops. Buck’s hips still on top of him, his hands stop creeping under Eddie’s t-shirt, and his head lifts from Eddie’s shoulder in order to stare him in the eyes. Buck’s pupils are wide with a strange mixture of lust and alarm.
“Your first ever!?”
Eddie can’t help but laugh at Buck’s expression. “You just spent the afternoon with my biological child, Buck.”
“Oh, yeah.”
“But,” he continues, sobering. “It is my first time with a guy. I’ve never uh. I mean besides my wife and an ex-girlfriend I’ve never been with anyone else, so.”
The alternate universe sexier Eddie is gone in an instant, leaving behind the everyday self-conscious and inexperienced Eddie in his wake. This Eddie wishes he would have kept his mouth shut. Buck should know what he’s getting into, though. Scars and all.
Buck’s hand slips under Eddie’s shirt. The way his fingers glide along Eddie’s side can’t really be described as hot – soothing, maybe, is the better term, but it does nothing for Eddie’s spike of anxiety. His other hand comes up to cup Eddie’s cheek and twist a bit so Eddie is forced to land his roaming gaze squarely on Buck’s face, something he was trying to avoid.
Buck’s hair is messy and his lips are swollen red and slick. He looks so, so good, and Eddie is kicking himself that he’s just ruined this whole thing.
“Do you need to slow down?” Buck asks. He’s so earnest, so caring, and Eddie groans out of embarrassment and shame. He throws his forearm over his eyes so he can’t see Buck’s kindness and accidentally knocks Buck’s hand away in the process, which he adds to the list of things he feels shitty about.
“That’s like, the opposite of what I want,” he grumbles. “But I get it if you don’t want to do anything with a baby gay,” he adds, repeating a phrase Ravi used once to explain why he didn’t match with first timers on Grindr.
“Woah, no.” Buck says, tugging at Eddie’s arm until he unwillingly removes it from his eyes and blinks up at Buck. “I don’t subscribe to that line of thinking, first of all. Everyone has different levels of comfort and experience but there’s no gatekeeper of sexuality — you don’t have to prove yourself to be gay by having queer experiences or knowledge. Also, if you can think through the haze of shame and lust I can see swirling around your head-“ Eddie snorts “- you will be reminded of the fact we started this conversation with me complimenting you, so. No complaints from me.”
Eddie doesn’t know what to say, really. He’s touched by how earnestly Buck is looking into his eyes, his thumb absently stroking circles at the bolt of Eddie’s jaw. Considering the position Eddie is in now, not a soul could say he hasn’t been forcing himself out of his comfort zone and opening himself up wider than he ever thought possible. But repressing your feelings for 30 odd years doesn’t go away overnight and right now this is a little too much for him to handle.
Buck shifts a little and Eddie is reminded of something else, namely that he still has Buck’s dick planted on his crotch. The serious nature of the conversation caused his own to flag a little, but it’s nothing a little good old fashioned frottage won’t fix. His hands return to Buck’s hips and he grinds into them, feeling a little smug when Buck’s eyes flutter.
“Hey, no fair, I’m trying to be heartfelt here. I know a diversion tactic when I feel one.”
“And you’re doing an excellent job at it. Really, Buck, thank you. I also think you’re probably pretty excellent at other things, though, and right now I’m more interested in those.” He repeats the action and Buck huffs out something between a groan and a laugh before settling more firmly on Eddie’s crotch.
They continue that way for a while, the moments melding and stretching until Eddie can’t be certain if they’ve been making out for 5 minutes or 50. Eventually, he realizes he’s in a bit of a predicament – namely that the steady pressure on his dick has taken him almost past the point of no return, and now he has to either accept the fact he’s going to come in his pants or remove those pants immediately. He grabs Buck’s thighs and pushes a bit, wiggling out from under him
“Gotta get these off,” he grunts, releasing Buck to pop his button and undo his fly
“We’re not having sex today, Eddie.”
Eddie freezes, zipper halfway down.
“No?”
Buck leans down and plants a soft kiss on his lips.
“No. Don’t get me wrong, I really want to. Like, really. Like more than you know because I don’t think I’ve put effort into anything as much as I’m putting effort into not ripping your shirt in two right now.”
Eddie looks down. “I like this shirt.”
Buck ignores him. “I just. I sometimes rush into things a little too fast and I don’t want to do that. I like you, a lot. I don’t want to-“ Buck cuts himself off. After a moment, he says, “I just want to leave a little mystery. Gotta make sure you want to see me again.”
Buck winks, but his smile is more tense than it was before, a hint of sadness. Whatever he was going to say, he doesn’t. Eddie thinks about asking, about saying tell me everything, I want to live in the grooves of your heart and cradle myself in your ventricles. He doesn’t for two reasons. Mainly, it’s terribly cheesy and cringy. It’s also too revealing, too quickly. He’s been on two dates with the guy, and yet?
“I want to see you again,” Eddie responds. He looks into Buck’s eyes, trying to imbue the same kind of sincerity that Buck had given him earlier. His answering smile melts Eddie just a bit more. At this point he’s probably less ice and more water. Frank will be proud of his vulnerability. Eddie might leave out some of the, ehm, details of this evening, but still — Frank will be proud.
“Well, alright then,” Buck says, “It’s a date.”
It lasts for 3 more weeks before everything comes crashing down around them.
In these 3 weeks, Eddie experiences what can only be known as relationship euphoria. Not that they've talked about being in a "relationship," per say, but it feels like they're moving that way. Dating like this is still new to him — his only experience with relationships thus far were both fast tracked toward commitment. In high school Shannon basically told him he was her boyfriend after the first date and with Ana, well. Mistakes were made.
Dating Buck is everything dating Ana wasn't. Eddie gets butterflies with every text. It's fun, which is something Eddie never thought dating could be. They do tried and true “first date” ideas like go out for ice cream and hike Griffith Park. They even go bowling of all things (turns out Eddie can't bowl to save his life). Also they do a lot of making out. Nothing beyond frotting yet, because despite their desire they both still have crazy schedules. Dating a celebrity ("am not" Buck repeatedly says after yet another middle-aged woman asks for a picture) as a first responder and single dad doesn't leave a ton of time for much more than rushed humping before Eddie has to pick Chris up or Buck has yet another interview.
The day it all goes south they're sitting on the Santa Monica pier, looking out on the Pacific. Buck is patiently waiting to see the dolphins he swears ride out among the waves.
"Four different species live out there, Eddie. It's gonna happen if we sit long enough."
Eddie is content to do just that. He doesn't have to take Buck back to the hotel for another two hours or so with Chris at Science Club this afternoon. He maybe would have preferred speeding directly to his house to engage in less wholesome activities but Buck has been hellbent on seeing a dolphin and who is Eddie to deny him that joy?
He has his eyes closed, soaking in the sun, when Buck says, "I'm going to miss this."
Eddie cracks an eye open, "Why? The pier isn't going anywhere."
"Because I think I'm going to throw the game."
Oh, shit. Eddie opens both eyes and turns toward Buck. “You’re what?”
Buck stares resolutely out to sea. “I’m going to throw the game.”
“What? Why?”
“I’m just-“ Buck cuts himself off. “Tired of it, I guess? Being on Jeopardy is amazing. It’s also exhausting. The first few weeks I kept worrying they were going to call me up and say, 'Sorry, Buck, there's been some sort of mistake, you've actually lost the show.' Now I'm kind of hoping for it."
A tiny alarm bell goes off deep in the recesses of Eddie's brain.
"Okay," Eddie says slowly, "then what?"
Buck leans his head back a little, sighs.
"I don't know, honestly. I thought I would maybe win a day or two, get enough money to pay down my credit card and get a cheap flight somewhere new and just figure it out from there. Now I could go across the world if I wanted."
Eddie can barely hear Buck over the rush of blood through his ears.
"Do you?"
Buck looks at him then, but now it's Eddie's turn to resolutely stare at the water cresting below their feet.
"Do I what?"
Eddie fights to keep this voice neutral. "Do you want to travel?"
Buck gives a little half-shrug. “I guess? That’s what I’ve always done. I never really meant to stay in LA this long. Not that it’s been bad by any stretch.”
Buck angles his body toward Eddie, a smile on his lips as he goes to slip their hands together.
No, Eddie thinks. He abruptly stands, Buck’s eyes widening.
“Are you -“
“I just remembered today is a half day at Chris’ school.”
“Oh,” a frown tugs at Buck’s lips. “I thought he was at Science Club?”
It hurts that Buck remembers that.
“It’ll be over soon. I have to go get him.”
Buck stands, staring at Eddie. “Okay, that’s okay. Maybe we can get him and go to the park or something.”
“No,” Eddie says, “He has a spelling test tomorrow. He needs to study. Come on, I’ll drop you off at the hotel.”
He sets off toward the truck without looking at Buck. Annoyingly Buck’s legs are so long it only takes him a few seconds to catch up.
“Is everything okay, Eddie? I feel like something just happened.”
“It’s fine,” Eddie lies. “I just have to get Chris.”
The walk back to the truck and subsequent drive back to Buck’s hotel is filled with a tense silence. Buck keeps sneaking little wide eyed looks at Eddie, a nauseating mirror of the first time they drove to Eddie’s together. Eddie once again fixes a firm gaze on the road. His stomach roils and he fights not to be sick.
He pulls up to the hotel a little more harshly than he planned to, slamming on the brake right in front of the fancy glass doors. Buck jerks forward a bit before flopping back into the seat.
“Sorry,” Eddie grunts.
“Eddie, can we talk about what’s going on? Is this about me traveling, cause-“
Eddie doesn’t want to hear it. “It’s fine Buck. You need to live your life, I get it. I just have to pick up Chris.”
Softly opening the door, Buck slips out of the truck and turns toward Eddie, his face a mask of quiet desperation.
“Would you text me at least to let me know you get home safe?”
“Yeah, Buck.”
“Okay,” Buck nearly whispers as he shuts the door.
Eddie drives on.
Eddie stares at his phone, bleary eyed as Buck’s text comes in. It’s too late (early?) for him to be up, but they got back from a call half an hour ago and he’s too wired to head into the bunks with everyone else. Guilt has been eating away at him ever since he ended their date in the most childish and ridiculous way possible. He knows he’s hurting Buck by essentially ghosting him but he can’t bring himself to talk to him either. What would that achieve? Being let down gently? Watching Buck travel the world through Instagram stories as he is once again left behind? Absolutely not going to happen. It’s better this way.
“Okay, you’re officially the most insufferable person in this firehouse. And that’s saying something since it’s been months and Ravi still will not shut up about House of Dragons.”
Eddie jumps in his seat and whips around to see Chimney at the top of the stairs. He walks over to the coffee pot and pours the last dregs of it into a mug left on the table. Eddie grimaces.
“That's gross, Chim.”
“Yeah, but not as gross as you right now. You’ve been in a terrible mood ever since shift started. What gives? Trouble in paradise?”
It comes out as a joke but once Eddie reflexively scowls Chimney’s eyes soften a little. He leans back against the kitchen island.
“Wanna talk about it?”
Eddie sighs. “Not really, no. Also since when are you the resident therapist-adjacent? That’s usually Hen’s thing.”
“Since my coworker has sucked to work with,” Chim shoots back. “But really, Eddie. What’s up?”
Eddie sighs, “Buck wants to travel after he loses Jeopardy.”
Chim hums. “And you don’t want him to leave?”
“That makes me sound like a dick. But also, yeah. I really like him. I guess I didn’t realize I was just a fun little stopover for him.”
“He said that, huh?” Chimney’s eyebrows raise, in a way that telegraphs he doesn’t believe what he’s saying.
Eddie pouts, caught out. “No, he didn’t. But it’s kinda obvious if he plans on leaving as soon as he’s done with the show.”
“Where does he plan on going?”
Eddie thinks back to his conversation with Buck. “Well, he doesn’t really have concrete plans. He just said he always thought he would.”
“Have you told him how you felt?”
This is a sore spot. Eddie’s cheeks heat up a little as he admits, “I kinda freaked out and used Chris as an excuse to cut our date short. And I haven’t really replied to any of his texts since.”
“Oh my god, Eddie. You’re complaining he’s going to move on from you but you ghosted him while you were physically together!?”
Eddie drops his head into his hands, his voice muffled as he says, “I know, okay. It’s terrible and I feel terrible about it but I just can’t have that conversation.”
Chim pushes off the counter and walks over to the couch as he picks up the remote. “I’m not going to tell you what to do. But if I were you, I’d at least have the conversation for closure if nothing else. Plus you might be surprised at what he has to say.”
The TV flicks to life in the darkness, blaring a commercial for some silly reality show starting up in a few weeks. The cable has been tuned to NBC ever since the firehouse learned (much to his horror) via Twitter that Eddie and Buck were dating. They tease him endlessly for it. He’s lucky that Jeopardy only shows Monday through Thursday so he has a few more days before he has to tell everyone he’ll no longer be watching.
Just as soon as he thinks that, he hears the familiar voice of Alex Trebek. Damn it.
“A very special Jeopardy at a very special time. Tune in at 8 pm this Monday.”
“Huh,” Chimney says, “I wonder what that means. Do you know?”
“I have an idea.”
Eddie tunes in for the special Jeopardy. He can’t not. He has a perverse fascination with watching Buck throw the game.
At first, nothing is amiss. Well, maybe. Buck could possibly be buzzing in less but it’s hard to tell.
One thing is for certain - it’s like someone turned a dimmer switch on Buck’s personality. He’s not bouncing around as much as normal, his smile is barely there, even his voice is quieter than normal. Eddie feels a stab of shame. Obviously he doesn’t know for certain if it has anything to do with him but even the possibility is churning his stomach.
Eddie is on the edge of his seat when Alex walks up to Buck for the little interview.
“So, Evan, You’ve been here for a while.”
“Yeah, it feels like forever.”
“How has your life changed the most?”
Buck pauses, chewing his lip.
“Well, I guess in a lot of ways. The most important being I met someone.”
Eddie stops breathing.
Alex hums a little, a smile playing around his lips. “Someone special?”
Buck stares directly into the camera. Eddie feels like he’s staring into his soul.
“I think so. I hope so. I guess that’s up to him.”
If Alex is surprised at the pronoun, he doesn’t show it.
“Anything else?”
“Yeah,” says Buck. “I really fell in love with LA. Think I’m gonna stick around when this is all over.”
Alex actually smiles then. “Well, we’ll be happy to have you.”
Eddie remembers to breathe, barely.
Double Jeopardy goes by in a blur. Eddie isn’t paying attention to the questions. Some part of his brain notices that Buck is neck-in-neck with the woman to his right, but most of his brain is hyperfixated on his own rapidly beating heart and four words:
That’s up to him.
Buck thinks of him as ‘someone special,’ despite the fact Eddie’s been a total dick the past couple of days. It has to be true or else Buck wouldn’t have said it on national television knowing full well his Twitter followers would pick up on it.
That’s up to him.
Buck is going to give him the grace to decide what comes next. They obviously need to have a conversation — he doesn’t want Buck to choose to stay in L.A. solely because Eddie is here. If Buck really does want to travel, Eddie isn’t going to be the one to tie him down. He’s walked that path and knows it only leads to resentment and heartbreak.
Still, though, Buck wants to stay. He wants to stay and he thinks of Eddie as ‘someone special.’
“Evan, you answered…”
Eddie snaps back to reality just in time to witness Buck’s daily total drop to a single dollar as he answers Final Jeopardy incorrectly. There’s a gasp from the live studio audience and a small smile hiding on Buck’s lips. The woman next to him looks absolutely gobsmacked as Alex announces her that night's winner.
“That was unexpected,” Alex quips, which Eddie finds kind of rude toward the random lady Buck just lost to although judging from her face she seems to agree. Buck just kind of shrugs. It seems so obvious that he threw the game; Buck is a terrible actor, telegraphing every thought and feeling on his face. Or maybe Eddie's just learned Buck's mannerisms well enough to notice when he's not being genuine.
The show ends and Eddie just stares at the flickering screen as some ridiculously exaggerated firefighter drama plays next. A shark on the freeway? Come on.
In quick succession, Eddie gets a text and a notification.
Eddie ignores Chim and opens Twitter, scrolling through Buck's replies
Evan (formerly from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
Congratulations to Kristie for a well deserved win! I've loved every second of my time on Jeopardy and I'm going to miss it but I'm excited for what comes next.
❤ 4K 8:35 PM - May 14, 2023
173 people are talking about this
lil gremlin
@baybeegurl
replying to @goforbuck
I screamed I'm literally never watching this show again
❤ 12 8:35 PM - May 14, 2023
holivia army
@g00d4you
replying to @goforbuck
my mom is crying hope ur happy
❤ 32 8:35 PM - May 14, 2023
Plant Papi
@growpmedaddy
replying to @goforbuck
plsss start posting thirst traps I can't handle not seeing your muscles every week night
❤ 57 8:35 PM - May 14, 2023
God, Twitter really is a ceptpool. He opens Chrome and does a quick Google search. Then he navigates back to Twitter, clicks the quill and takes one last plunge.
Eddie Diaz
@EDiaz87
replying to
@goforbuck
Category is etymology, what do you wager?
❤ 9.8K 8:34 PM - May 14, 2023
431 people are talking about this
Evan (formerly from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
replying to @ediaz87
lets make it a true daily double
❤ 11.3K 8:35 PM - May 14, 2023
673 people are talking about this
Eddie Diaz
@EDiaz87
replying to @goforbuck
Okay: modern version of eower and a word first defined as a paramour in 1905. The phrase is what I’d like you to be.
❤ 15.1K 8:34 PM - May 14, 2023
654 people are talking about this
Evan (formerly from Jeopardy)
@goforbuck
replying to @ediaz87
what is your boyfriend?
❤ 25K 8:35 PM - May 14, 2023
392 people are talking about this
Eddie's phone rings. He answers immediately.
"Very smooth, Eddie."
"I'm sorry," he breathes.
"I know," Buck says without any judgment in his voice. "We have things to talk about, specifically our communication, but I thought a lot about my patterns this past week. I've been traveling for years. I've always described it as adventuring but I think I may have been running."
"From?"
"From the fact I wasn't doing anything with my life, I guess. Or at least not everything that feels like it matters. From establishing long term connections with people who were always going to leave me behind in the end. When I did the whole casual sex thing and then left, I never had to confront the fact they didn't want anything more from me. I think I was almost testing you when I said I was going to miss L.A. I wanted someone to miss me."
"I would," Eddie breathes. "I would miss you." He inhales. "I woke up one morning with a note from my wife saying she was done. There's a backstory to that for another time, but essentially I became a single dad overnight. The person who had vowed to stay with me didn't. So when you implied you were leaving I felt like I had to shut this down in order to keep myself safe. I like you, Buck. In a way I've never liked anyone. I don't want you to leave."
"I'm not leaving." Buck's voice is strong. "I don't want to run anymore."
"Don't." Eddie feels wild. "Come over."
"Christopher?"
"Is at my coworker's for the night. She thought I was going to need this evening to pout after seeing you on my screen for the last time."
Buck laughs. "That's cute. I already called an Uber. I'll see you soon."
Do this for yourself.
He does.
It's the best decision he ever makes.
"Dad, you're gonna miss it!" Chris calls from their den.
Eddie picks up his son, narrowly missing stepping on a few stray legos strewn in the hallway as he carefully maneuvers his way to the couch. When they decided to have another kid, he didn't realize how much he would miss having an only child who was old enough to not throw tiny plastic landmines over every square foot. Whenever he feels frustrated about the sheer number of toys in places they shouldn't be, though, all it takes is a quick glance at his preschooler's sandy blonde curls and wide smile to remember he wouldn't change a thing.
He sidesteps into the den and plops his writhing kid onto the couch next to Chris, who rolls his eyes a bit as he opens his arms and lets his little brother snuggle in.
"Popcorn?" asks Gavin
"Yeah, yeah," mutters Chris as he reluctantly holds out the bowl and lets Gavin root around in it.
Buck bounds in from the kitchen, a plate of cut fruit balanced precariously on one wide hand as his other is trying to wrangle a furious orange cat Gavin has paradoxically named Greenie. She streaks out of the room as soon as Buck lets her down. So much for a family viewing party.
"Did I miss it?"
"It's starting now," Eddie says.
On their (frankly too large) mounted screen, a very familiar jingle starts to play.
"This! Is! Jeopardy! With your brand new host, Evan Diaz-Buckley!"
The screen zooms in on Buck, in a very sexy suit – in Eddie's objective opinion – as he begins to introduce the players.
Gavin whips around as he turns to stare at Buck, then back at the screen, then back at Buck again.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah, Gav?" Buck asks as he lowers himself into his armchair, groaning a bit. Buck is just as beautiful as he was in his early 30s, but 8 years of a life well lived later and his knees are a bit less limber than they once were.
Gavin looks back at the screen, a wrinkle between his eyes. It's precious.
"How are you there and here?" he asks.
"I filmed it earlier, honey," laughs Buck. "It's not live."
“Wow,” Gavin breathes. “Daddy, are you famous?”
“No,” Buck says.
“Yes,” Chris says simultaneously. Buck shoots him a look. “As soon as you guys finished moving me in, some girl on my floor asked me if you were ‘Evan from Jeopardy’. She remembered watching you in middle school. She said you were her first crush.”
Eddie wrinkles his nose. He doesn’t love the idea of a preteen crushing on his husband. That being said, he can’t really blame her considering he started crushing on Buck the same way.
Clocking Eddie’s discomfort, Buck can’t help but tease him. “How do you feel knowing all of America is gonna be crushing on me again, Eds?”
“I feel like I’m the only one who has you in my bed at night.”
Chris gags. “Okay, drive me to LAX right now. I’m going back to school, I can just watch Jeopardy from my room.”
He’s teasing, of course. Chris flew down during his spring break just to make sure they could all watch Buck’s debut as Jeopardy’s new host as a family. A debut they’re all currently ignoring in order to further tease Chris (“Did you know your dad was posting thirst traps on Twitter just to reel me in?”), confuse Gavin (“What’s thirst traps?”), and generally bask in the fact they have the best family Eddie could ever ask for.
99% of the time, Eddie is glad to be rid of Twitter, having deleted his account shortly after becoming the victim of a targeted attack by fans of some TV show he criticized (sorry, but launching a ladder truck off a cliff will forever be ridiculous to him). Times like this he wish he could still tweet though, if just to show off his brilliant, hot as fuck, celebrity husband.
Later that night, he settles for a text. He’s about 3 feet from Buck, who’s currently snuggled under their covers reading some book about wild mushrooms and capitalism that Eddie knows he would sleep through. His husband’s phone buzzes and he glances at it reflexively, shooting a smile at Eddie as he sets his book down to pick it up.
“You’re such a nerd,” Buck snorts, flopping down into the pillows and twisting so he’s cuddled into Eddie’s neck.
Eddie laughs. “Babe, you’re the host of a trivia show. Pot meet kettle.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever. My turn,” Buck hums for a moment, then says “This phrase is something I want to say to you every second of every day.”
“What is, ‘oh my gorgeous husband, please let me rail you in my work trailer and then bring you food from crafty?’”
“Eddie.”
Eddie laughs, loud and bright. He peels away from Buck, just a bit, so he can look him in the eyes when he says, “What is ‘I love you?’”
“I love you, too.”