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A Crow and Some Snow

Summary:

Weiss should have know better than to accept the invitation to dinner her mother had sent her, and she DEFINITELY should have know better to bring along her team and Ruby and Yang’s uncle for moral support. The only thing more awkward than the silence at the dinner table is that her drunkard mother seems to be familiar with Qrow.

Notes:

A very silly idea I had about Willow Schnee and Qrow Branwen having some… prior relations.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

The tension in the grand dining room of the Schnee Manor was so thick you could cut it with a knife, and so awkward that Weiss was considering every exit, including the windows, to escape it.

Perhaps it was not the best idea to invite the rest of Team RWBY plus Ruby and Yang’s uncle Qrow to a family dinner, but she had received a legitimate message from her mother asking her to spend time with the family, and Weiss just couldn’t handle that by herself.

Silence had lorded over the table ever since they arrived. Her father sat at the head of the table, occasionally shooting a glance that balanced disappointment and anger towards her and all of her friends. Her brother sat at her father’s side. Normally he would be trying to curry their father’s favor with some chatter about what he had learned in his lessons, but the profoundly uncomfortable atmosphere of the room simply had him focused entirely on his plate. Her friends were crowded at the opposite end of the table, occasionally whispering to each other. Winter had also answered their mother’s invitation and sat opposite Weiss, and was regretting it as much as she was.

Their mother had yet to show up. According to Whitley she had passed out in the garden an hour before they arrived, making this entire affair pointless, but by then it was far too late to back out.

The silence was finally broken by the woman who had arranged all this, stumbling into the room, her blouse stained with wine. She blearily looked around, and decided to take a seat next to Ruby’s uncle.

“Sorry… sorry I’m late. Lost track of time. What is it today?” Willow Schnee peered at the other occupants of the table.

Jacques didn’t look up from cutting into his steak “Dinner, dear. You invited all the children here. Weiss brought her commoner friends.” Winter sighed and took a long drink of her ice cold water. Weiss buried her head in her hands, regretting every second of this. Whitley just sighed and stared at his plate.

“Oh… right, I did.” She looked around, her eyes eventually settling on the man sitting next to her, who was oddly trying his hardest to look anywhere in the room except at her. “Oh hi Qrow! Did I send you a booty call as well?”

Winter spit out her water. Weiss’s head shot up and her eyes widened after hearing those words. Whitley closed his eyes and started mumbling something to himself. Jacques didn’t even react, and simply cut off another cube of steak. At the end of the table occupied by her friends, most of them shifted uncomfortably, except for Yang, who was holding back her laughter.

Qrow coughed “Uh, no Willow, my nieces are just friends with your daughter and I’m here with them. It’s uh… good to see you again.”

“I’ll say, honestly, you should come by more often! It’s been years since I’ve last seen you. It’s been… how long has it been Qrow?”

“Couldn’t really say, I don’t come by Atlas that often.”

“And yet you always came when you were in Atlas,” Willow had the oddest smile on her face when she said that. Weiss shuddered. Winter was staring at her mother like she had grown a second head. Whitley was trying to imagine himself in a far away place. Jacques picked at some of the sautéed vegetables on his plate. Yang was pounding the table while stifling a laugh.

“Uh… yeah. It was a while ago. Ancient history, can’t quite recall when-“

Willow interrupted him by turning towards Whitley “Whitley how old are you?”

“We celebrated my fourteenth birthday two weeks ago Mother,” Whitley answered like clockwork, trained by his father to answer any question posed to him promptly.

“Ah, so it’s been about fourteen years and nine months since you’ve been here, give or take a month. Whitley was a little premature.”

A silence more deep and terrible than the awkwardness before overtook the entire table as the gears turned in everyone’s head. The silence was only broken by the movement of Jacque’s chair as he stood up “I’ve had enough of this, I’ll have the rest of my dinner in my office,” he said as he strode out of the room.

“A-are you saying that that man is my-“ Whitley began to ask, dread in his voice.

Willow rolled her eyes and interrupted him “Of course he’s your father. Jacques never had the balls to fuck me, I’m pretty sure he’s gay or asexual or something, never really looked into it.”

This was a nightmare. Weiss was being cursed by horrible dreams and she would wake up soon and it would all be over. Yang had finally failed to stifle her laughter, and now instead of dreadful silence it was like a pack of hyenas had infiltrated the mansion.

Winter sputtered furiously “Mother! You’re telling us you had an affair with this… this… ruffian!?”

Qrow was at that moment looking at all the exits in the room, trying to avoid looking at anybody else present as he did so.

“You’re implying there was only one,” Willow said, clearly beginning to enjoy this.

Horror dawned on Winter’s face “No…”

“It all started oh… twenty three years ago or so. My father had sold me off to Jacques to secure the company’s future only a week ago at that time, and I was returning by train from a sexless and boring honeymoon.”

The Schnee children wanted to look away, wanted to plug their ears and shout that they couldn’t hear anything, but the morbid grip of curiosity compelled them to just stare blankly at their mother.

“That train happened to be guarded by some trainee huntsmen, including one Mr. Qrow Branwen.”

Qrow had really picked the wrong month to quit drinking.

“So rough, so rugged, so attracted to the pent-up newly wed who needed some real excitement in her life!”

Qrow chose that moment to try to slip away unnoticed. His attempt was largely successful, as even though he tripped over Yang who had fallen out of her chair laughing he was able to crawl out the door and away from it all.

“I don’t think I need to go into details, though I can of course if you want, but suffice to say nine months later Winter was born. Qrow would visit from time to time, with one of those times leading to Weiss, and another to Whitley. He got too busy to stop by soon after Whitley was born, and that’s basically the whole story. Jacques honestly never cared that I had an affair, he only made sure it never went public. I think he’s legitimately in love with the company,” Willow shrugged, pulled what had been Qrow’s dinner in front of herself, and began eating it “I really need to compliment our chef more often.”

Winter, Weiss, and Whitley were all simply struck speechless. The only sounds in the room were the scratching of Willow’s silverware against her plate, and Yang’s panting as she stood up.

Yang smiled, strode over to Weiss, and wrapped an arm around her “Well, let me officially welcome you to the family cousin!”

Weiss glared at Yang “Why? Why must life be so unfair Yang?”

“Hey, you didn’t like that asshole Jacques so at least you’re not related to-“

“I don’t care that Qrow’s apparently my real father! I care that he’s my real father and I inherited none of this!” Weiss said, gesticulating at all of Yang “Do I get none of this family resemblance? I’ve seen your mom, you’re a fucking pallete swap of her!”

“Aw don’t look at it that way cousin, if you had hair like mine I would have stolen all your shampoo.”

Weiss just whined at Yang’s response. Winter sighed, “My hair’s actually the same as Yang’s if I don’t straighten it.”

Weiss really regretted this dinner.

Notes:

May make a slightly longer and more serious fic about Qrow being the father of the Schnee kids and actually being around in their childhoods at some point in the future.