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Daniel Molloy took eleven pills a day. Aside from his Parkinson’s medication and the painkillers, he took pills for his blood pressure, his cholesterol, and another two specifically for his heart.
As he sat hyperventilating on a couch in a Dubai penthouse, he prayed to every deity he didn’t believe in that they were working.
His head was swimming with a decade’s worth of memories shifting, transforming, or unlocking altogether, playing over and over in his mind’s eye in no particular order, without rhyme or reason, until everything was a blur of color, and blood, and sex. Of luxuries beyond imagination and misery beyond comprehension. Of screaming matches, and trashed rooms. Of frantic begging, and then equally desperate lovemaking. Of parties and art shows and hotel rooms and eternal plane rides. Of silk sheets, and leather, of soft ropes and hard paddles, of toys and torture devices, of electronics and blenders and cluttered apartments and cavernous mansions.
And through it all, him . Armand with his silky black curls, Armand with his amber eyes that shone maroon in the moonlight. Armand with his dreamy stare and taciturn demeanor. Armand with his boyish smile and voracious curiosity. Armand everywhere and Armand forever.
It couldn’t be possible, it didn’t make any sense. It had to be one of the vampire’s tricks, like the mind reading and the fire thing.
Except that something inside him was screaming, a primal feeling of recognition. He knew it in his blood, in the very marrow of his bones; it was real, those were his memories, that was his life, that had been his Armand .
And it had been all ripped away from him.
But how? And why? As far as Daniel knew, there was only one vampire with such proficiency in manipulating the human mind, and that was the very vampire from his missing memories.
There were noises around him then, the pitter-patter of human footsteps and a deep, velvety smooth, uncannily perfect voice barking orders in a language he couldn’t understand before addressing him, drawing louder, nearer.
“Daniel? Daniel, what is wrong?”
Daniel raised a hand, scrambling backward on the black couch, trying to put some distance between the vampire leaning over him and himself.
“Stay away from me! Stay the fuck away from me!”
Louis frowned but took a step back.
“Get him some cold water!” He demanded from someone outside of Daniel’s field of vision, “And call doctor Bhansali!”
“Fuck you and fuck your doctor!” Daniel yelled, making the humans freeze on their spot, alarmed, “Where is he? Where the fuck is he?!”
Louis regarded him silently for a second, calm as ever.
“Not here He had unpostponable business to attend” With a simple nod in their direction the staff emptied the living room, and he turned to Daniel again, an expression of profound mournfulness etched on his delicate factions.
“You remember” It wasn’t a question, so Daniel didn’t bother to answer it. “How much do you remember?”
It was hard to tell, Daniel’s mind was still reeling. His brain felt like one of those jigsaw puzzles liked so much. He had bits and pieces, cities and places but some still lacked context. Pompeii, where Armand had first caught up to him. London and their first apartment. Miami and the villa that had always felt like a golden cage. Endless nights in Brooklyn…
Paris, and the heartbreaking hope he had felt as he got down on one knee in front of Armand, freshly out of his first stint in rehab, after finally recovering from the dark spiral he had fallen into when he realized he was never going to be given the gift, asking the vampire he so loved to be his in the only way available for a human.
And the dessert Armand ordered for him after.
“You” Daniel’s tone wasn’t quite accusatory yet, but it was close. “You wanted me to remember”
Louis shifted a little on his perch, crouched in front of Daniel. A very telling gesture for a vampire whose legs didn’t get stiff.
“I did” He confessed, “Quite desperately. That is why I enlisted Doctor Bhansali’s help in the first place, and for that, I must apologize. Levodopa, though that’s not everything there was in your transfusion, is said to stimulate vivid dreams. I guess you could say I saw a chance and I took it” Louis smiled, a barely there thing, but enough to convey his satisfaction at having correctly used a modern idiom learned from Daniel himself, earnest like a child eager for his parents' approval after learning a new trick.
Daniel remained impassive.
“Why?”
The vampire blinked,
“Would you rather not to?”
Daniel didn’t know. He honestly didn’t know.
“You spent the last thirty-eight years, your entire career, searching for the truth” Louis ventured, “Don’t you think on some level, it was your truth you were after?”
“Is that why I’m here?” He demanded. It certainly wasn’t for an interview, Louis had told him this story before, he remembered long nights spent together talking until the sun came up and Louis all but collapsed in Daniel’s arms. “So you could show me my truth ? Martyr complex wasn’t enough, you wanna try out Hero complex too?”
Louis reacted as if he had been slapped, pulling away and turning his head Daniel felt some perverse, childish satisfaction at that.
"Your mind was always so sharp, it is still somewhat disquieting how your tongue became so too…" He shook himself, offering Daniel a sad smile, "I told you from the beginning what my intentions were. Truth and reconciliation, Daniel. You simply chose not to listen"
Daniel wasn’t a naive, smitten twenty-year-old anymore, he could smell bullshit a mile away, and Louis reeked of it.
"Why wait until now to tell me? Why tell me at all, after almost forty years?"
"You are dying, Daniel"
No fucking shit.
"So this is, what? A deathbed present? One last mercy for your human pet before putting it to sleep?"
"Nothing as callous, Daniel" Louis remained stoic, unmoved by the accusation, "I just thought you had a right to know"
Daniel shook his head, skeptic to say the least
"Why didn't you tell me as soon as I arrived, then? Why pretend Armand was human? Why call him 'Rashid' as if we were strangers at the bar again?"
One of the servants chose that moment to enter the room. Silently, he poured a tall glass of cold water for Daniel and placed it on the coffee table in front of him. He then approached his master to whisper something, waited for Louis' nod of approval, bowed, and left as swiftly as he had arrived.
Louis waited until his footsteps faded in the long hallway before speaking again.
"Armand did not want to jog your memory. He thought it best to remain on the sidelines so as not to attract your attention" a little smirk broke on his handsome face, "A useless endeavor since you were attracted to him as soon as you saw him, weren't you, Daniel?"
Everyone with two working eyes found Armand attractive, his power of seduction was almost beyond his control, so he didn’t even bother to dignify that little remark with an answer.
"Yeah, right" Daniel scoffed instead, "He didn't want to jog my memory, so he made me, an ex-blood addict, witness you sucking him off at the table"
“That particular scene was all me.” Louis’ voice was soft, almost apologetic, “I was hoping such a strong image would break you free of your conditioning. Armand was, of course, unaware of my intentions, easy to manipulate into playing along”
At least, that was a somewhat credible statement. Armand had always been a kinky freak. Louis smiled.
“That, yes. But also, he’s always lost his senses a little when he’s around you”
Daniel seriously doubted it. Maybe once upon a time, back when he had been young and naive and in love, he could have believed Louis. Could have believed Armand loved him, could have believed they both did. He wasn’t that gullible anymore. Any notion that could remain of Armand and Louis having any feelings for him, vanished the moment they had taken away his memories and abandoned him like a dog at the side of the road.
“You don’t genuinely believe that, do you, Daniel?”
Daniel straightened up in the place he was sitting on the couch, squaring his shoulders.
“For almost forty years, I’ve only ever believed in what I can see, and then called it like I saw it. Made an entire career out of it. You and Armand picked me out and took me home. You took care of me and probably cared for me too, then you discarded me the moment I stopped being cute and interesting.” He knew he was raising his voice but he couldn’t stop himself, “As far as I’m concerned, I was just another Dennis. Just another pet for you and your husband to use up and throw away”
Louis shook his head, looking almost hurt at the accusation.
“You were never a pet, Daniel, and you were nothing like Dennis. You were our companion, our beloved, chosen to be our equal in every way. Of course, you were always Armand’s but I loved you too” Ruby-red tears gathered at the rims of his striking emerald eyes. Daniel had forgotten how exquisite Louis looked when he cried.
He squashed down the urge to comfort him. That was the crux of the matter, wasn’t it? He had never been an equal. He was human while they were immortal, he was temporary while they were forever, it had never been more painfully obvious than then. Any of them could have changed that at any point during their liaison, yet they never had.
Louis was right, he wasn’t like Denis. Denis had at least been granted a quick death, Daniel hadn’t been worthy even of that. He had been left to the devices of time and would now die on his sickbed betrayed by his mind or his body or both when his hour finally came.
“You don't know, do you?" Louis tilted his head, incredulous, a gesture so Armand’s that Daniel’s heart contracted painfully. "Is it possible you never knew? What it meant every time he gave you the blood, that blood he had never given anyone else, not even me before he met you”
“It was another drug to get me hooked on, another tie to bind me with-”
“It was a claim” Louis interrupted, raising his voice above Daniel’s for the first time, not in aggression but to make himself heard, “He marked you to be turned, just as his maker marked him before”
Daniel’s mouth was shut at once. Armand’s maker was a subject that didn’t come up often, not even at the height of their intimacy. Daniel knew little of him, but it was enough.
“Marius” Daniel spat the name like an insult. Louis's smile was grim, a pressing of lips more than anything else.
“Yes, but this is not about him, this is about you, Daniel, and what you are, what you are destined to be. That claim he laid on you that very first night, saved your life. It was the reason I did not drain you dry in my drugged rage”
It was still nebulous in Daniel’s mind, but through the pain and terror, he thought he could recall Louis’ scream while he was being throw against the wall as if pushed by an invisible force.
“You were singled out by Armand to be turned later, and yes, you were bound to him then. A pale shadow of the vampire bond but a powerful bond nonetheless, it only so happened that he couldn’t stand to end your life himself. But make no mistakes, he could not let you die any more than any of us could let their own fledgling die"
“Well, it’s a little late for that,” Daniel snorted, derisively, “you said it yourself, I’m already dying”
“He won’t allow that” Louis's certainty unsettled something inside of Daniel.
“I’m too old for immortality, Louis. I know enough about life now to know I don’t want to do this forever”
“I know,” He admitted, “I also know Armand intents to let you depart naturally and on your own terms. He intends to say his goodbyes to you and let you go with dignity”
“... I feel there’s a but there somewhere, and I’ll be straight with you, I don’t fucking like it”
“But he’s not strong enough for that”
There was a bit, then two, as Louis’ words sunk in, as Daniel’s battered mind tried to resist the obvious meaning. It was too much to make sense of in so little time, his head spinning again as he attempted to process it all.
But no, that was the room spinning, the world turning on its axis when the dizzy spell overtook him, making him fall back on the couch.
“Wha- what’s…” He tried to say, but his tongue felt lead heavy. Louis drew closer, kneeling in front of him, cold fingers caressing his cheek as the crimson tears finally spilled.
“I’m Sorry, Daniel” Louis's voice in his head was pleading, begging him to understand, “He can’t be alone, he won’t resist it.”
Louis was leaving, Daniel could see it clear as day in his mind, in fact, it was the only thing that was clear. He was running away like the rats he used to chase, leaving Daniel as a replacement because Daniel was the only thing that could distract Armand from the pain he would cause. He had orchestrated everything with the clockwork precision of a master predator that had centuries to hone his skills, and the biggest psychopaths in history to learn from. He had set the trap and Daniel had walked right into it, marching voluntarily into the monsters’ lair, eating their food, sleeping in their self-proclaimed coffin, and trusting their doctors. Because Bhansali was in on it, Levodopa hadn’t been the only thing in those bags of fluid, Louis had said so himself. Daniel had simply been too distracted by everything else to understand .
And now it was too late, the darkness was closing in on him, his lungs growing too stiff for breathing. Louis’ mournful, iridescent eyes were the last thing Daniel saw before everything went black.