Chapter Text
The liar was quiet, everyone has just come back from a mission. It was stressful...
A wedding.
Warren and Hypno has gotten married today, and the Mad Dogz were invited, yay.
Donnie, of course, did not enjoy it. The music was loud, there were far to many guests, everyone was clapping and cheering... Ugh! Galileo it was far to much. And Donnie did try and slip away, but every time he did Leo or someone else would pull him back in. How head was pounding there and it was most definitely pounding now.
The finale straw was when the feeling happened. That... Fuzzy, small feeling. Where he felt like a child, a child! He was sixteen for alls sake! He should not be feeling like a child who wants chocolate milk instead of punch, or who wants to run to Raph because he feels overwhelmed. No, wrong, bad.
So! Solution? Lock himself away until this dumb dumb dumb (That's three dumbs!) Feelings just goes away.
"So, who's gonna carry the ca-Hey! Dee! You can't just run away from this, we all gotta bring stuff in, they handed out a lotta party favours!" Leo shouted, Donnie didn't stop though, nope. Instead, he continued to dash for his lab, hoping to lock himself away and never see the light of day again. Metaphorical, of course.
He ran into the sewers tunnels and made a sharp turn to their liar. Quickly, he had to move... He felt tiny, and he hated it, he hated how much he needed his security blanket right now. He hated how everything began to shift and shape into scary things, they were just shadows!
Finally, he managed to creep into his lab, slamming the door shut and falling to the ground, his eyes burned as tears plagued his vision, why was he crying? He rarely cries! He feels helpless and scared and everything is just... Too much.
He rocked back and forth on the ground, making hiccups and broken sobs as he thought how pathetic he must look, he thanked himself that he sound proofed his lab, it made secret meltdowns much easier to have, in secrecy of course.
He wept, the tears that forced themselves out of his eyes felt like fire burning into his skin, he felt disgusting and exhausted. He was terrified of what would happen if someone found him, and he was terrified of the consequences to him not being able to just... Be normal!
Everything is his fault anyways, he doesn't have the right to tears, he should be grateful they have yet to kick him out.
Everything hurt... His eyes burned, his throat was sore, his muscles ached, his body shook. He was useless right now, they probably think he is doing some sort of impressive invention, that he is putting his high intellect to use...
Not crying on the fucking floor.
He hated this all, and he hated himself especially. He couldn't even control his emotions, how sad.
He looked up, and he was the thing he hated.
Himself.
He hated what he was in that mirror that was shoved into the corner, a sheet haphazardly thrown over the reflective surface. Just the bottom half of it was shown to the world, and yet that was enough fill his body with the feeling of being vexed.
He slowly got up, shuffling over to the damned glass, he grabbed the sheet and threw it to the ground, staring at himself...
He was so disappointing.
He doesn't deserve to be here.
'It's your fault Raph is half blind. ' The voice that lived in the back of his mind said.
'And don't forgot about Mikey, he can't cook or draw like he used to, never will be able to again, wonder why you couldn't absorbed more of the energy?' It spat, the venom of its words leaked into his mind.
'And Leo... When's the last time he wasn't plagued by nightmares? When he didn't have to do physical therapy on a daily? No... You can't name that, can you? You're such a fuck-up that you can't remember those days, or... Maybe you're too selfish to care.'
He looked at his body, he looked at how he stood tall like he was better than everyone else. Like he knew better, he did not, he was just as scared as the next person.
His fist shook and his knuckles turned white, why wasn't he there? He was! He couldn't done so much more and yet he didn't!
His arm winded up.
And, and he was just crying now! What did he have to cry about?
His teeth grit against themself.
He will give himself a reading of cry.
'Shatter!'
His hand went into the glass, watching as in just a second it cracked an shattered, the shards flew from where his fist made contact, he stood in shock at his own actions...
And then he fell.
He fell to the ground and cried.
And he screamed.
He hated himself, he has come to accept that.
He probably doesn't want to live, he has come to accept that.
He feels like a child... That's something he needs to fix.
He feels like a child right now, actually.
Why?
Why?
Why?
WHY?
He doesn't have an answer, and that's what scares him.
He doesn't know what to do, and he should.
He should know what to do, and the answers, and how to fix this, but he doesn't, and he can't, and he feels trapped.
So he'll scream, he'll scream and let out emotions that have been rotting inside himself for far to long.
He wants his blanket, he wants his water bottle, he wants Raphie and Lee and Mickey!
H-he... He wants papa.
He's alone though, in the dark, where the monsters creep and cry.
He's alone, where dreams to go die.
He's alone, and he feels left behind.
But by who?
Certainly not his family, he left them.
He's sorry, he is so so sorry.
His knees and hands hurt.
Oh... He is in broken glass.
He hears someone calling him, but his phone is at the other side of the room.
Knocking.
He hears the door behind him hiss as it opens, no... He didn't lock it, did he?
"Dee? You okay, you've been in here awhile... Donnie?" Mikey. Mike... Mickey! His bubba!
Oh, he was so scared!
The lights then on, ha! Take that darkness!
"Don-Ohmigosh!" Mikey says, Donnie whimpers, suddenly he doesn't seem to friendly...
Mikey rushed over, going in front of Donnie, careful as not to touch the glass.
"Donnie? what happened!" He asked, Donnie's lip shivered.
Mikey's gaze softened, he slowly descended to the ground.
"Donnie... Are you okay?" He asked, Donnie shook his head.
"Okay... Can you tell me what happened Dee?" He asked gently, not wanting to risk scaring the softshell anymore than he already has.
Donnie once again shook his head, he just looked so... Small? That's a good way to put it, and his eyes... They were scared, and filled with confusion.
Mikey felt like he had a feeling in what was going on, he spent hours researching things on mental health, in a daily. It was a hyper-fixation that turned into a special interest of his, he just... He knew the signs, but he couldn't out his finger on what Donnie was going through.
Donnie repositioned himself, now hugging his knees close to his body.
How position reminded Mikey of a movie he saw, a little girl was lost, and she hid under the main couples table...
Little...
Bingo.
Mikey have a soft smile, reaching out a hand, Donnie flinched back.
"Oh! Sorry Don-don! I... Uhm, you are a weird question, think you can answer it?" He asked. Of course Donnie could answer it! He was super smart!
He slowly nodded, ready to answer whatever problem Mikey threw at him.. Even if he didn't feel like doing things like math right now.
"Can you tell me how old you are?" He asked.
Crab.
Donnie was obviously... Uhm...
He shook his head, Mikey made a soft giggle.
"That's okay buddy, how about we get you cleaned up?" He suggested, Donnie took a minute to think about it... Before nodding.
Mikey smiled a bit wider, poor Dee though, did he... Punch, the mirror?
Whatever happened, Mikey is here now, so. He'll help however he can.
Donnie doesn't need to be afraid anymore.