Chapter Text
Everything was perfect.
The bundle of carefully written letters, addressed to each person he felt was deserving of such earnesty, was tucked under his arm as he trekked along the uneven wheat colored trail. It was his escape route and one he’d come to know quite well. Everytime he went crashing down to rock bottom, he took one more step down the path.
The first time he had ever made it to the end, it was after a nightmare. A nightmare of just one of the moments he may never forget and would forever be haunted by, a list that had been growing in recent years. It had been early morning at the time, his tired and tear-stained expression hidden behind the hood of his black cloak as he continued walking in a blurry haze. The wind blew behind him like a stern hand, ushering him ahead quietly and carefully as it had done in the past. He’d barely noticed once he reached the top until a beam of sunlight peaked just beyond the horizon. The sky lightened from the rementents of night as a light sapphire blue blended with the honeysuckle yellow, and morning finally greeted its early birds and tormented souls. Hardly for a moment did the dark fog lift, to grant the sinner just a glimpse of light before throwing him back into the abyss.
Kaeya Alberich was not welcome in this new oasis, as he breathes stolen air for the ones who know freedom. Even as he stretched his hand far beyond to some future he hadn’t yet known. A tanned hand intertwined with rays of warmth he selfishly desired to grasp and beg to stay.
In the end, heads may only be held up high for so long. Maybe that's the day he made the decision. Standing upon the precipice of an unsoiled world, casting his gaze down at the still water below. Maybe he made his decision long long ago, the day he stepped onto the Ragnvindr property when he was just a young boy. The tension of his father's hand squeezing his shoulder never ceased, even as he faded into the distance. Even years later after not even a single word from his people, he felt himself crumbling under the pressure. The feeling of large claws digging into his paper thin bones, infecting him with the curse of destiny.
As the distinct dirt path faded away into thick patches of overgrown grass, he knew he was getting close. As he walked he wondered for just a moment if this really was the right thing to do. When he left Mondstadt hours ago, he hadn’t taken some obscure path hidden away from peering eyes. Matter of fact, he'd done just the opposite. Once he'd finished signing off the remaining stack of overwhelmingly dull papers and patting them into a neat pile, he found himself feeling as if he was just an observer, watching the course of fate take over. He grabbed the box of letters he'd kept in a drawer under his desk and left the room, heading straight to Jean's office. He strolled right up to Jean's desk and set the pile of papers down onto the 'finished' pile Jean had built.
"Special delivery," Kaeya chirped with his signature smile.
Jean looked up from the paper she had been reading over. "Oh- Kaeya, you know you don't have to take it to me, I could've grabbed them myself as soon as I finished."
Kaeya glanced at the ever growing stack of unfinished paperwork. "Right, finished, I'd love to see that." Kaeya chuckled when Jean's face flushed red from embarrassment.
"Fair point… frankly I don't understand why this week has been so busy." Jean sighed a tired sound Kaeya knew all too well. "Most of it isn't dire at least. Most are commissions that, if I may be honest, feel more like the adventure guild's problem."
Kaeya felt the twinge of sympathy and guilt, not wanting to leave her to handle all the work alone. "I can always take more of the load off for you if you need."
"No, it's fine, you should enjoy your night off." Jean smiled up at him then noticed the box he was holding. "What's that?"
Kaeya clicked his tongue and gave the question some thought. "Consider it a little surprise." Not a lie, not necessarily.
Jean straightened suspiciously at that vague description. "Kaeya, you're not planning another 'unofficial business trip' are you? I don't want to add another report to this stack or to your file if I don't have to."
Kaeya gasped and put a hand to his chest. "I'm appalled you would accuse me of such a thing, Acting Grand Master."
Jean rolled her eyes, returning to skimming over the paper. "Just…don't be trouble, will you?"
Kaeya brushed off the slight ache in his heart at that, but nodded. "Of course… and Jean?"
Jean looked up at him.
"Thank you. You're a good friend." Kaeya smiled genuinely at her and she was a little taken aback by the seemingly out of nowhere compliment, but accepted as graciously as ever. Spontaneous but calculated was Kaeya's thing after all.
"You too, Kaeya. Have a great night."
With that Kaeya turned and left, lingering for just a few seconds longer to just indulge in the company. He went on like this visiting everyone who came to mind just to see them one last time in person. Lisa in the library, Rosaria and Venti in the angel’s share, Albedo and Klee all the way in dragonspine, even Huffman was invited to grab a drink. Leaving Mondstadt for the final time he took the front gate, waving to whoever noticed and greeting Laurence and Swan until finally crossing the pigeonless bridge.
He didn't really know why he'd done that, it's not like there weren't shortcuts beneath Mondstadt he had perfectly mapped out in his mind that he could've used to sneak out the city without attracting too much attention. Yet he didn't do that. Maybe some part of him wanted to be stopped, to be asked what was wrong and cry into whoever’s shoulder was unlucky enough to let the words slip from their mouth. To be told the words that would silence the voice in his head once and for all, and give him the chance to heal from his past as a new person.
But nobody did.
There was 1 person he didn't go visit, no matter how badly he wanted to. When he didn't run into Diluc behind the Angel Share's counter, he didn't make the effort to go to Dawn Winery to seek him out.
Not like he was very welcome there anyway. Everytime he needed to go there for work Diluc gave him looks or less than subtle comments about his opinion on Kaeya and the knights. If not those, he sends one of his many worker bees to go and shoo him off as soon as he steps on the property. It's fine, though. He wouldn't expect any less. He was their enemy and he just got lucky that Master Crepus and Diluc were too trusting to realize that sooner.
None of that really matters now, he supposes as the edge of Starsnatch cliff comes into view.
Nothing really matters now.
He set down the box of letters a few feet away from the cliff, picking up a rock he had planted earlier to set on top of it and make sure it didn't blow away. He made sure the small note on the box was visible to anyone who looked, reading, ‘Urgent, do not open. Please deliver to Acting Grand Master Jean as soon as possible.’
The only frequent visitors of this cliff were the lovebirds who he had to spend weeks watching and waiting to know which days they wouldn’t be there to interrupt his plans. They were good honest people from what Kaeya could find out about them, they’d make sure to deliver the box he was certain.
Kaeya turned back to the cliff and walked right up to the edge. The sound of crickets and slow ever-steady waves faded and were replaced by the subtle thump of blood beating through his ears. He took a deep breath to try and calm his nerves, hating that he was scared of something he was so sure about. He carefully took off his eye patch and looked up at the sky. His eye was always something he felt the need to be hidden from Celestia, but now standing here alone and damned, he lifted his eye patch over the water and let it go. He watched it fall helplessly and readied himself to be next.
A whip of wind blew through his clothes and dragged his attention away. He hissed a sharp ‘tss’ through his teeth and addressed it, “What do you want from me?” He looked around the open space with a glare.
The wind slowed slightly as Kaeya clenched his fists at his sides and continued his interrogation, “
You
lead me here, your job is done. I’m going to rid you of the trouble of worrying about a spy, are you not
satisfied
?”
The wind didn’t seem to respond and Kaeya took it as a sign that the wind had given up on him too.
He closed his eyes and put his foot forward to start leaning over the cliff but the wind gave him a slight shove back. He caught himself with a slight stumble and growled. “Haven’t you done enough? Let. Me. Die.”
Once more, there was no response from the wind besides a slow steady stream leading the opposite direction. Kaeya took a couple of seconds to wait it out and see if anything would happen before he decided to suddenly sprint and jump off. This plan however, was cut frighteningly short. Kaeya was caught midair by a sudden wind current that threw him back onto land with much more force this time. Kaeya landed on his chest and had to hold onto patches of grass so that the viciously blowing wind wouldn’t just send him tumbling down the mountain. He was defenseless against this kind of interception. How could you fight an enemy as untouchable as the wind? He gritted his teeth and croaked out a desperate “Okay! Stop!”
The wind started to settle and Kaeya sunk into the ground, hiding his face in his arms for a while before slowly sitting up. “You can’t stop me from escaping.... But fine. I’ll do what you want… Lead the way.” The wind humbly responded to that offer and had blown past him, towards the trail back down the mountain. Kaeya nodded numbly and began the walk all the way down, keeping his eyes locked onto the ground and letting the wind lead him blindly.
Behind him, the wind pushed the box letters into the still waters below.
______________________________
The wind led him a long way away from his escape route. Kaeya could have been amused by the idea that the wind thought by leading him away he would give it up. He wasn’t of course, he wanted to be angry or upset but honestly he just felt numb. He finally looked up when he was submerged in warm lights and realized where he was, freezing in place. “Why did you lead me here?”
The wind blew down the path to the left of Dawn Winery and Kaeya was confused and nervous. “Where are you taking me?” The wind did not change its path and Kaeya was unable to do anything except follow it. The wind blew far past Dawn Winery and had led Kaeya down to the lake nearby where it suddenly went still. He looked around, scanning the trees and finally the lake. He saw nothing and grew a little frustrated, “What am I doing here?” He waited for a response and received nothing from the wind.
As he opened his mouth to speak again he heard the muffled sound of a baby crying in the distance. He followed the sound, stepping into the lake and noticing a box floating behind a rock where the sound was coming from. He was hit with a wave of panic and started to swim as fast as he could across the lake until he pulled the box into his arm and pulled himself up onto the rock. He quickly summoned an ice dagger and carefully cut all the tape off the box and opened it up to reveal the crying baby inside. The baby was wrapped in a damp pastel green blanket and seemed like just a newborn. It had worryingly pale skin and baby blue hair.
He felt sick, what kind of monster would send a baby in a box down the river?
He shook his head and brought his attention to the baby, carefully cradling it in his arms and holding it close to his chest since it was freezing to the touch. He stayed cradling the child until it calmed down to little hiccups. Kaeya sighed and stood up, summoning his sword and carefully building his ice bridge back to land. He sat down again on a rock nearby and held the baby in his lap, searching the blanket for some indication of who the child was. The name ‘Chongyun’ was embroidered in dark green within one of the folds. “chongyun…. is that your name?” He sniffed, feeling the cold of the lake sinking into him through his wet clothes. He re-wrapped ‘Chongyun’ and pulled him closer. He watched as Chongyun slowly opened up his eyes to look up at him, his eyes were light blue and had slitted pupils. Chongyun stared silently for a while before giving a tiny smile and his eyes began to droop.
Kaeya felt lost as he looked around, calling out to the wind once more. “Why… why me? what am I… supposed to…” His voice became soft as Dawn Winery came into view once more.
There was no wind.
Kaeya sniffed again, wiping his nose and standing.
He needed to do something, and what else could he do?
He swallowed his anxieties and began the walk to Dawn Winery’s front door.