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When Tim got up that morning there was no way of knowing what had happened. He could not have guessed that everything would change. That the light of his life had burned out while he was asleep.
At the moment his only thought was if he had time to call Bart before patrol tonight.
He hopped out of the car and walked towards the manor, greeting Alfred on the way in. As he went past the kitchen he made a mental note to pick up groceries on the way back to his apartment. Kon wanted to make Ratatouille that weekend and who was Tim to refuse free food? He had just finished a particularly challenging case and was dropping it off at the cave when Bruce got the call.
Dick and Damian were training in the gymnasium, Bruce was sitting at the Batcomputer, and Jason had just ridden in on his bike -a new one, he had blown his last one up in a “warehouse incident”. None of the girls were there because they had decided that they needed a girls' night.
Nobody paid any attention to the JL comm alert that appeared on one of the many screens. Bruce casually answered, not looking away from the files in front of him.
“Bruce?” The wrecked voice of Superman echoed through the room as everyone froze. They had never heard Clark sound so…broken, so unsure. “I...I don't know what to do. She won't say anything. She just kept mumbling that “he needs to know”, whatever that means. And I need to call Lois and Ma and Pa. What am I going to tell Jon? Bruce, what do I do?” His voice broke on the last word.
While he was talking everyone there gathered around Bruce quickly and quietly. Tim glanced towards his brothers, none of them knew what to make of Clark’s words either.
“What happened?” The question was spoken by Bruce, the first to collect his thoughts enough to ask.
“When I got there he was in Cassie’s arms. I don’t what he said, but it made her laugh. Then she started crying, and she hasn't stopped. I don't know what to do. Diana is with her now. She calmed down enough to say that we needed to call you. I still don't know why.” Clark’s voice had a distant tone, almost as if he had yet to process what happened. “Cassie said he need to know he was gone.”
All the air left the room.
When they had first become heroes they had not known what that meant. Now after years in this life, every one of them had lost someone in the process of saving the world. It never got any easier. Losing a friend, a sibling, significant other, or even a parent, for the good of others made it hard to continue doing what they did. Yet here they were. Holding their breaths to find out which of them would be grieving this time.
Tim looked at each of their faces. Dick was wondering if it was Wally, Tim knew because he had a death grip on the red and gold keychain Wally had given him. Tim did not know if Dick could survive losing him again. Jason was trying to put on a brave face but it was obvious he was scared. Damian was the only one that looked even relatively calm. Clark had mentioned Jon so it was not Damian that the news was for.
Frantically Tim turned back to the screen whispering, “Who?”
There was a hitched sob from the other end of the line before…”Kon.”
Tim fell against the wall, sliding down it as he gasped for breath.
No. No. Nonononono
This could not be happening. No. Not him. Please.
Tim hunched over as his vision blurred. His nails dug into his thighs over and over until he only felt numb. Until he could not feel his heart being ripped from his chest.
~~~~~
When Jason had gotten to the cave that day he had not intended to stay long. He had better things to do than deal with his family's special brand of bullshit. Being a crime lord was not as easy as you would think.
All he wanted to do was ask the demon brat if he one of his swords for a day or two. God knows the kid had more than he could count.
That was not what happened.
Even though he was not as close to Bruce and the others as he could have been, they were still his family, and that feeling never completely went away. So when he heard Clark's voice, a small part of him was filled with worry for the man he thought of as an uncle. The concern only grew as he talked. By the end of Clark’s jumbled explanation, they all knew what had happened. Someone had died.
Tim was the one to finally ask, “Who?” The whisper was almost silent as if he did not really want a response.
When Clark answered, Jason felt a small sense of relief, his friends were safe. But a kid was still gone, even if it wasn’t of he personally knew. There was a biter voice in the back of his head that said that's what happens to child soldiers, they die, but he ignored it for now focusing back on what was going on.
Jason had never even spoken to Conner Kent, all he knew was that he was Replasements’s friend and a clone of Big Blue and Lex Luther. He had died before Kon had joined the Titans, and after he had been a little too murderous to be friendly with his sibling's teammates. The only interaction between the two of them happened when Jason needed Tim’s help on a case and showed up at Tim’s Nest, just as the clone was leaving.
Jason looked up at the sound of something hitting the floor, Tim was hyperventilating as he half sat -half fell on the ground. He ran his hands up and down his thighs, scratching deeper with each pass. A few tears began to fall as he started repeating “no” to himself.
Without thought, Jason stepped forward and kneeled in front of Tim. He carefully caught Tim's hands between his own. Holding them tight, so that Tim could not aggravate the deep scratches that ran from his upper thigh to his knee.
“I’ve got you, Tim. You don't have to do anything right now. We’ll talk in the morning.” Jason looked at the others, daring them to try and correct him. Their questions could fuck right off until Tim was capable of forming a sentence without struggling to breathe. He shrugged off his jacket, wrapping it tightly around Tim. Once that was done he looked to Bruce, asking what to do now. Bruce did not seem to know what to do either.
It was at that moment Alfred came into sight, appearing out of nowhere better than Batman ever could. Within a second he had complete control over the situation giving them each a task to complete with no room for refusal.
“Oh, my dear boy,” he said, looking sadly at Tim. “Now, Master Jason. Please take Master Tim to the library in the east wing. Master Damian, get me some disinfectant and bandages for your brother's wounds. And Masters Bruce and Dick, invite Mister Kent and Miss Sandsmark to spend some time here at the manor. Once you are finished, I expect to see you in the library as well. Am I clear?”
After nodding their agreement, each one of them left to accomplish the job given to them.
~~~~~
It took Tim a moment to recognize where he was. The East Wing Library. He had not been in this room for nearly a year.
It was Jason's favorite room when he first came to live with Bruce. By the time Tim had moved in no one would go near it. For the others, it had been a reminder of the person they had lost, for Tim it was a glimpse into a person he had never got to meet. It was filled with little pieces of the person Jason used to be, and for a young, lonely boy it had been a place to learn about the person he looked up to most in the world.
Tim could remember searching through the books that lined the shelves, hoping to find the sarcastic notes Jason would write in the margins of any book he liked. This was the same room where Tim hid the last remaining copies of the photos he’d taken of Batman and Robin. Somewhere on one of these shelves was a book titled The Studies Of Avian Nightlife by A. Draper.
It was funny, that book was his most prized possession, and the only person in the world who had seen it was Kon. That book contained nearly his entire childhood and he was the only person trusted enough to get free access. He should update that sometime, Tim thought only to stop, his body going cold once again as he remembered what Clark had said. Kon was dead. There was no point in updating the book if the only person to read it was gone.
He was gone. Kon was gone, he was dead.
No! Tim thought harshly. There had to be something he could do to bring him back. Kon would never just leave him like this. There had to be a mistake.
“Tim, you need to calm down. You're going to give yourself another panic attack.” The words were said softly into his hair and it was then that he realized he was curled up under Jason's arm, his head resting on Jay’s shoulder.
Jason. Jason had come back, and so had Bruce and Damian. All Tim had to do was find a way to bring Kon back. He could do it. He had to. He did not know what he would do if he failed.
If it was any other day Tim would have moved to an open spot on the couch, but right now all he wanted to do was bury himself in his brother's arms and cry.
He could save Kon Tomorrow.