Chapter Text
“You told me you weren’t going to do this anymore.” Levi growled lowly.
“I’m sorry, but they’re getting frustrated with the Scouts, I need to get them back on our side. The Pewterschmidts hold a lot of sway.”
Levi frowned. He made sure to keep his voice hushed, but it grew in intensity. “What would happen to the Scouts if someone found out? We’d be done for. You really want to take that risk?”
“Her husband already knows. He’s okay with our arrangement.”
That got Levi to look angry. “Then how does that make you any different than a glorified prostitute?” He hissed, but Erwin didn’t react much.
“It doesn’t.” He said simply.
Levi paused. He didn’t like to hear that Erwin was willingly selling his body like this, and he didn’t even appear to have a problem with it. Levi had seen the things that prostitution could do to a person, he didn’t want to see Erwin follow the same path as his mother. Of course, he knew that it wasn’t nearly the same, but Levi carried those feelings with him everywhere, and so for Erwin to embody that in any way was hard for him to watch. He gritted his teeth.
“Fine. I can’t stop you, but you know this is wrong.” He turned his back. “Be safe.” He added, but he didn’t look back to see Erwin’s reaction.
Erwin didn’t like to see Levi so upset, and it’s not like he liked to do this either, but he had to do what he had to do. Donning a charming face, he turned back to Mary.
“Shall we go?”
“Yes.” Mary said, but she glanced back at Levi, who was refusing to look at them. “What did you say to him?” She asked. “He seems upset. Did you tell him about us?”
“Oh, no.” Erwin assured her, shaking his head and maintaining his warm and relaxed demeanor. “I just told him I was leaving and wouldn’t be back until late. He’s mad at me because he hates these kinds of events and I’m leaving him behind.” He lied, chuckling.
Mary smiled politely, but she didn’t laugh. “I see. There should be a carriage outside for us now.”
“Wonderful.” Said Erwin, and the two walked out together, but the commander could feel Levi’s eyes burning into his back.
Erwin got in the carriage first, offering his hand to Mary like a gentleman. She took it and stepped on.
“Thank you.” She said, and Erwin smiled.
“Always.”
The two sat next to each other, but they didn’t touch (yet). They both knew that this wasn’t about love, although they also both knew that Mary wished it was. A beat passed before Mary spoke.
“We haven’t done this in a while.” She observed.
“That’s correct.” Erwin said simply. He wasn’t about to dominate this conversation, he would let Mary talk.
“Do you ever think of me?” She asked, and Erwin thought about the best way to answer. He did think of her sometimes, but it was usually when he was planning expeditions and budgets. In all honesty, he didn’t think about her too much. In his mind, she wasn’t much more than an acquaintance. An acquaintance he had sex with in order to manipulate her husband, but was it really manipulation if her husband was okay with it?
Lord Pewterschmidt held quite a bit of power, but he was a weak and awkward man. Erwin rarely spoke to him directly, even at events like this one they only spoke in passing, and neither had ever acknowledged the arrangement directly. Even so, it was at the forefront of both of their minds whenever they did speak.
You and I both know exactly how many times I’ve fucked your wife.
Although not having much of a direct relationship with the man, Erwin did feel that he knew him a bit. Mary rarely talked about him, but he seemed like he loved her. He was small and kind of ugly, quite a bit older than Mary, and Erwin suspected he was impotent or otherwise unable to please her. But he contributed quite a bit of money towards the Scouts, and it was because he wanted the young, handsome commander to do things for his wife that he couldn’t.
He made himself scarce on nights like these, but he always left the fireplace crackling in the master bedroom, and there were always two glasses of expensive scotch on the table. There were ice cubes bobbing in the glasses (a luxury in and of itself), and they were never melted, so Erwin knew that he made drinks for them both right before the couple got there.
Erwin would never seek out Mary if he didn’t have to, but he could definitely admit that he appreciated the luxury and accommodations. And although Erwin wasn’t attracted to Mary; nor did he feel much pleasure during their meetings, he could recognize that she was quite pretty, objectively. It wasn’t an arrangement that Erwin was proud of, but it wasn’t so bad. At least not until the guilt found him after the fact. He hated doing this to Levi. Considering Mary’s question, he spoke.
“Yes, I look forward to seeing you when I visit the capital.” He said. A half truth. He did look forward to seeing her. Just as much as he looked forward to her lavish mansion and her expensive scotch with ice. Just as much as he looked forward to the checks from her husband that followed Erwin home when he left the city. When he left the city and returned to Levi.
He thought of the way Levi spat in disgust when he saw the wealth of Mitras. Even just walking down the hall to their hotel room this morning had him grumbling over the gross concentration of wealth in the capital, bitter and contemptuous. That man would have a heart attack if he ever visited the Pewterschmidt mansion.
Oh god, Erwin realized. I better not keep thinking about Levi or I’ll feel so guilty that I won’t be able to stand it... Or get hard.
Forcing the thoughts out of his head, he focused on Mary instead, who continued speaking.
“I look forward to seeing you, too. I really do enjoy your company. I know this isn’t supposed to be part of what we have but… I think you’re quite charming.”
She was right, it wasn’t supposed to be part of what they had. “I’m flattered.” Said Erwin noncommittally. What would Levi think if he heard that? Levi didn’t really get jealous, he got bitter, and Erwin knew the remark would fill him with hate even more than the lavish buildings. But he had to stop thinking about Levi.
“You don’t feel the same way, do you.” Said Mary.
Trying to re-establish some boundaries, Erwin shook his head. “Scouts can’t afford to hold such sentiments, I’m afraid.”
Mary considered this. “But I’m not the only person you see.” It was a question. Erwin thought about how he should answer. He couldn’t lie and say that she had been his only sexual partner in the years they had been seeing each other, it was too obvious. Even an out of touch aristocrat like Mary would be able to see that. He decided on a simple answer.
“No.” He said without elaborating.
Mary looked at him, interested. She seemed detached tonight, but continued to ask him questions.
“Is she a Scout?”
“She is.”
“So Scouts can only afford to hold those sentiments with each other.” Mary sounded genuinely curious, but also sad, and Erwin could tell she was battling her own feelings. She was well aware of the boundaries of their relationship, but she had clearly fallen for him, and Erwin suspected that the reason she was asking him so many personal questions tonight was because she needed to hear him reject her. He choose his words carefully.
“It’s complicated, but serving together makes it easier in a way. It can be comforting to know that our lives are equally fragile.”
Mary considered. “Does she know about us?” She asked, going back to her own feelings.
Again, Erwin thought carefully about how to respond. “She does.” He said.
“Is she okay with it?”
“She wishes I wouldn’t, but she doesn’t stop me.”
Erwin was surprising himself by how honest he was being. Normally he would tell lie after lie in this kind of conversation, but so far the only mistruth he had uttered was referring to Levi as “she.” But he wasn’t about to unpack that aspect unless he had to. He did wish to stop talking about it, though. On top of all the other reasons, Erwin knew it was only a matter of time before he had a slip of the tongue and said “he,” and then things would get awkward.
“I see.” Mary contemplated. “…Do you ever think of her when you’re with me?”
It was a bold question, but one that Erwin thankfully didn’t have to lie about. “No.” He said, and it was true, but not for the reasons Mary thought. Erwin often let his mind wander when he was with her, but he couldn’t bring himself to imagine being with Levi instead. He’d allowed his mind to travel there one time when he needed to think of something arousing to get himself to finish, but it ended up having the opposite effect.
Picturing Levi when he was with anyone else felt disrespectful and wrong, but picturing Levi while he was whoring himself out to a rich noblewoman in her lavish mansion felt like the ultimate betrayal. Besides, it was a little weird for him to imagine being with a man while he was having sex with a woman. No, he never pictured Levi when he was with Mary.
He did sometimes allow himself to picture Marie if he needed help. He hadn’t seen Marie in years, and he was in love with Levi now, but the memories of being with her were usually enough for Erwin. He had almost called Mary by her name once, but he had been able to stifle it at the last second, and he thanked God that their names were so similar.
Yes, it was pretty common for Erwin to think of sharing this big bed with Marie, but he knew that even if he got a chance to spend a night with Levi, just Levi, in this huge bedroom with the crackling fireplace and cold scotch, the captain wouldn’t like it. Too much wealth. Too unfair.
There was, however, a very fancy en suite bathroom, and he was sure Levi would love to be able to wash off after sex in a bathroom like that. He always did. Or maybe they would do it in the shower. Erwin knew Levi would love that. He’d done it with Mary once, but he knew Levi would love being able to have sex without feeling unhygienic. Maybe they would have had a chance to try it in their shared hotel suite, but Erwin doubted Levi would want anything to do with him for a long time after tonight. Not until he was sure that Erwin had scrubbed every remnant of that woman off his skin ten times over.
Stop thinking about him! Erwin yelled at himself. They were almost to the estate, something that Erwin was very thankful for. He wanted this conversation to be over.
“I see.” Said Mary. “Thank you.” Then another pause. “Forgive me for being so bold, but can I ask what her name is?”
Erwin felt incredibly affronted. She was being bold, and it made Erwin a little angry. She knew what this was, she knew not to pry into his private life like this.
“I would rather not say.” He said as the sound of the horse’s hooves quieted and the carriage stilled. Thank God .
Erwin didn’t wait for the driver to open the door, he wanted to get out and escape this smothering conversation now. He was sure his discomfort was not lost on Mary, and the act of letting himself out when they had a chauffeur was not very subtle, but the woman knew what she was doing.
“Shall we?” He offered his hand like a gentleman, but he noticed the chauffeur giving him a look.
“Yes, of course.” Said Mary, taking it, and she took his arm as she so often did when they walked inside, not acknowledging the awkwardness. Erwin was more than okay with that, he was ready to slip into their old roles, play the part, and get out of there. Thankfully, Mary followed their typical habits and dropped the conversation.
They had a routine, he and Mary. It was always directly to the bedroom, but they shared a glass of scotch in front of the fire before slipping into bed.
Erwin liked that routine. It was expensive scotch, and the alcohol loosened him up just enough to where it was a little easier to go through with the act. He usually let Mary talk to him while they were in the carriage, but once they got to the bedroom, Erwin did more of the talking. He would ask Mary what she wanted to do that night, what positions she wanted to try, if she wanted his fingers or his mouth. Then he would move closer, talk lower, and act in a way that he had found most women found arousing. He would incorporate casual touch, knees brushing together, sharing out of the same glass, letting their fingers brush when the glass was passed back and forth.
She had different requests each time they saw each other, and she had managed to surprise Erwin with a few of them. It had been her idea to do it in the shower that one time, something that Erwin had never done before. He had also never had the opportunity to play with ice, but Mary had had some requests pertaining to that as well. Erwin had to admit, he was curious as to how it felt to be on the receiving end of that.
He wondered how Levi would feel about the ice. He had surprised Erwin with his sensitivity the first time they had gotten together, and he continued to surprise him the more time Erwin spent getting to know his body. Would Levi be like Mary, enjoying the feeling of the ice on different parts of him? Or would he be too sensitive, flinch away from the cold. He could be ticklish sometimes (something that amused Erwin to no end), but would the ice have the same effect? Maybe one day Erwin would find out.
Stop thinking about him.
Ugh. Thankfully, Mary didn’t want anything different than usual tonight.
They would undress each other, get into bed, and Erwin would do all the things for her that Lord Pewterschmidt couldn’t. Make her cum, for example.
Erwin always tried to make sure his partner finished first no matter who he was with (although there had been times with Levi where he’d been unable to stop himself — the man’s physical abilities extended far beyond titan killing, and Erwin didn’t think he would ever get used to the fact that he could have humanity’s strongest soldier whimpering in the sheets beneath him) but with Mary it was easy. They would go through the motions, Erwin would get her off, but he always pulled out before he closed his eyes and thought of Marie. She assured him that she used contraception, but Erwin refused to risk it. There was a part of him that didn’t trust her with regards to that. He knew she was in love with him, and very much out of love with her husband, and he wouldn’t put it past her to lie about contraception in an attempt to rope him into a relationship.
He usually ended up spilling across her abdomen, which she didn’t care for, but that was the one area that Erwin stood firm on. Of course, he was always sweet to her after the fact. He would speak kindly to her and bring a warm washcloth from the bathroom to tenderly wipe the mess from her skin, but he never stayed long after that. Once she had assured him that she was comfortable and didn’t need anything, Erwin would quietly dress himself and get ready to leave, but he always stopped by the bedside and gave her a kiss on the forehead to say goodbye. It was the most intimate and loving thing he did with her, but tonight she turned away.
“Please don’t do that anymore,” she requested quietly. “I’ve already fallen in love with you, it hurts too much when you do that.”
Erwin paused, hovering awkwardly over her for a moment before drawing back. “I see.” He said. “I’m sorry, I won’t do that anymore. Sleep well.” And with that he quietly exited the room.