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Peter awoke with a strangled gasp, desperately clawing his way out from under his twisted bedsheets, ridden with sweat-
Jagged slabs of concrete encased him, pinning his chest and legs, crushing his lungs-
-he can’t breathe, it’s so dark, he can’t see, ohmygosh he can’t-
“No!”- Peter choked, “FRIDAY make the-turn the lights up, ple-“
Relief flooded his chest as a warm glow illuminated the room to his left. The coiled knot in his throat lessened, but the constricting tension in his chest remained.
He gasped, clutching the sheets with his fists, while struggling to take deep breaths.
Peter tried focusing on the soft luxury mattress, and the familiar light from his nightstand lamp
He felt numb, almost as though he had been dumped in a freezing tub of water, only to be immediately taken out.
The shock from the impact was paralyzing, frigid water seeped through the suit, the parachute sunk as if made of lead, weighing him down, dragging him under-
Peter furiously kicked and struggled against the fabric as much as he could-
-but it was no use, he would surely drown, or at least become hypothermic in the next 5 minutes-
No, wait, he wasn’t there- he was safe, he was at-
He could hardly hear FRIDAY speak over the noise of his erratic movements and harsh breathing.
“Peter, your heart rate has accelerated beyond an average rate, and you have shown symptoms of a panic attack. Would you like for me to enable the Grounding Protocol?”
“FRIDAY what is-I guess-ok, yeah uh, sure,” Peter croaked.
“It is Friday, April 17th; the time is 2:26 AM. You are currently at the New Avengers Facility. Outside the weather is 57 degrees fahrenheit, and it is slightly windy. Tomorrow’s forecast calls for..”
Peter let FRIDAY’s steady voice wash over him as he attempted to regulate his breathing. The tremors that previously wracked his body thankfully lessened.
As his heart rate began to slow to a reasonable pace, FRIDAY stopped performing the protocol.
Peter turned to his side towards the lamp and gazed around the room. His senses picked up on the familiar hum of the air conditioner, and the vibrations of machinery on the lower levels of the facility.
He shut his eyes, and tried to will himself back to sleep, but the tension in his frame persisted. The lamp was extremely bright, but the thought of being encased in darkness again unnerved him.
Shame bloomed in Peter’s chest. After all, what superhero was afraid of the dark?
He rubbed a hand through his hair.
He attempted to close his eyes, but after a few seconds his heart began to pick up.
I need a distraction
Peter thought back to the new Spider-Man tech he and Mr. Stark were working on.
The idea was that Peter could have a concealable web shooter, similar to Mr. Stark’s ‘Iron Glove’. That way, if he ever ran into trouble without his suit, he’d have a method of defense.
The problem was that the web fluid within the watch needed to be stronger, and more tightly compacted than in his other web capsules.
While Mr. Stark was developing the mechanics, Peter was trying to solve the formula.
I just need to adjust the cooling time.. If I substituted the watered oxalic acid with hexane-
Ugh If I keep this up, I’m clearly not getting sleep anytime soon, Peter thought.
He sighed, rolling over.
“FRIDAY, how long has it been since I woke up?”
“Eight minutes Peter”
“Ughh.” This was going to be a long night.
Maybe if he snuck into the lab he could continue the web fluid? He’d at least be doing something productive, and it might help calm his nerves.
Peter couldn’t wait to see the surprised look on Mr. Stark’s face when he solved the formula himself.
“Friday, is Mr. Stark in the lab right now?”
“Boss is currently in his room. No members of the facility are on the lab floor.”
Peter rolled himself off his almost too-soft mattress. He still felt unsteady, as though his legs were made of paper.
As he walked, Peter tried not to think about the numerous shadows in the halls, and the dark, looming concrete-based corridors ahead.
I hope there are no security cameras, I probably look awful.
He tried to distract himself by thinking of adjustments for the web fluid again.
Just as FRIDAY told him, the lab was completely vacant; the lights were dim and the printing machine was still whirring steadily. Peter warily opened the door after FRIDAY unlocked it.
It’s strange being in this room alone, Peter thought.
Mr. Stark’s presence usually would have filled the large, cold space. The clutter of machinery and huge cabinets stocked with hundreds of parts seemed a lot more overwhelming.
Luckily, Peter’s station looked relatively untouched, and his notes were still scattered haphazardly across the desk.
He jotted down some ideas, and gathered the materials needed to test his theories.
Peter eventually fell into the familiar rhythm of testing, note taking, and more testing. His hands steadied as time passed, tension fading.
He poured the newly revised fluid into a mold, and then carefully added it inside a steel compression chamber.
Peter stood nervously, glancing at the statistics FRIDAY calculated every minute or two. After what felt like an eternity, the timer rang for him to remove the fluid.
He had to move quickly before the mixture dried too much. If it got exposed to oxygen for too long, the chemical Peter had to pour in wouldn’t activate.
Peter opened the mold, and tentatively lifted the sodium borate dropper above the solution.
It’s three drops, right? Hesitating, he scanned his notes again.
I had it right, so why do I feel so uneasy? It should be ready to go now-
Peter jolted, as an alarm from one of Tony’s printers pierced the silence. His sudden movement caused the whole vial to spill over the opened web casting.
Oh no, oh no oh no-
Peter frantically snatched the tray with one hand, while turning to open the compressor with the other. The mixture began to fizz, and was expanding exponentially.
“Peter, I would advise you to place the mold inside a-“ FRIDAY started
It was too late. Just before Peter took it from the counter, the bubbling formula exploded, covering Peter’s entire hand and forearm into a sticky, globby mess.
With his freehand, Peter attempted to use a discarded metal rasp on the desk to peel the gloop off him, but it was no use. The glue-like substance already hardened, encasing his hand and arm, successfully pinning him to the desk.
“FRIDAY,” Peter said in a panicked tone, “how can I get out?” Peter tried yanking his arm with his super strength, but to no avail. “Quickly?”
“Applying acetone will allow the material to become malleable. Just be sure to not expose your skin to the chemical, which could cause irritation. An alternative method would be to wait an estimated 3 hours and 15 minutes.”
Of course this had to be the formula that was enhanced.
“Would you like me to contact Tony Stark?,” FRIDAY requested.
“No! No FRIDAY, don’t!”
Peter’s heart began to pound in his rib cage, thoughts racing.
He had to get out before Mr. Stark came to the lab, but it was impossible to reach the acetone while constrained to the desk. What would Mr. Stark think if he saw Peter using tech behind his back again? He might loose lab privileges, just like the suit-
Through Peter’s panicked haze, he hadn’t noticed the sound of footsteps echoing towards the workshop until it was nearly too late.
His stomach plummeted. “FRIDAY! Cut the lights!,” Peter shouted, an octave higher than he would have liked.
Peter barely had time to duck under the desk before Tony approached the room, Stark Tablet and coffee in hand.
“Fri, lights?” Tony said as the doorway opened, “Keep them dimmed, it’s too early this morning.”
“As you wish, boss.”
In the awkward angle he was crouched in, Peter couldn’t tell how visible his webbed arm was from where Mr. Stark entered the room. He just hoped it wouldn’t be too long before Mr. Stark left.
Even then, what would he do to free himself after Mr. Stark left? Wait perhaps?
Tony strode over to a drawer from one of the many storage cabinets lining the walls, and with one hand, began to rummage through the spare parts.
“Turn on the holo-table and run the repulsor diagnostics for mark-” Tony stopped as the flashing red light on the compression chamber caught his eye.
The machine’s door was left open, and after glancing around the surrounding area, Tony noticed a lot of tools were scattered, not at all how they were left last night.
Stacks of paper were piled on top of the workspace, obscuring his view of what else was strewn around.
Peter’s breath caught in his throat, thinking he’d have to come out of hiding.
“FRIDAY, who has been-“
“Hi Mr. Stark! Sorry I-“
Tony jolted back with a strangled yelp as Peter abruptly stood from behind the desk, seemingly appearing from nowhere.
“Holy sh- kid?! Peter, what are you doing in here!? I already have a heart condition, you almost-“
“Sorry! I’m really sorry sir! I was uh-“ Peter thought back to when the printer alarm startled him, “ I just wanted to make sure the print went well.”
“Really?”, Tony raised his eyebrows incredulously, “FRIDAY wouldn’t have notified you for a repulsor repair.”
Peter attempted to angle himself, shielding his webbed arm from view. He rubbed his freehand through his incredibly disheveled hair.
“What er- what happened to the repulsor?”
“Nah-uh, stop dodging the subject. Now tell me what you were doing here so early, it’s almost 6 AM.”
“Oh” He was in the lab for that long!?
The shock must have shown on Peter’s face, because Tony asked, “FRIDAY, when did Peter enter the lab this morning?”
“Peter entered the lab at around 2:42 AM boss”
Tony crossed his arms and gave Peter a look that uncannily resembled Aunt May.
“Peter, I don’t mind you coming in here; I trust you kid, I’m not mad. What concerns me is why you came in so early.”
“I’m sorry Mr. Stark,” Peter said, voice wavering, “I didn’t mean to stay so late. I just couldn’t..” Peter hesitated.
Tony’s gaze softened. “Let’s talk about this over breakfast. I’m sure your super-teen metabolism is-“
“No it’s fine! I’ll just uhh-“
“Just what? Are you feeling ok kid? You look pretty queasy.”
“I’m.. stuck.”
“Stuck?” Tony brusquely stepped behind the large metal desk to approach Peter.
Tony abruptly stopped in his tracks. He would have laughed if Peter hadn’t seemed so unnerved. Almost Peter’s entire hand and arm were cemented to the table, cocooned in a white, weblike substance.
“So, the little spider got caught in his own web?” Tony spoke, unable to hide an amused glint in his eyes.
“I’m not little! Anyways, FRIDAY said acetone would weaken it.” Peter tried not to meet Tony’s gaze, ears turning red with embarrassment.
After walking to the other end of the room, Tony selected a bottle of acetone and a rag.
“How long have you been trapped here? It better not have been all night, you know you could ask me for anything,” Tony said, carefully applying the chemical.
“It happened right before you came in. I was testing a new enhanced web design for the Spider-Watch. Apparently it works almost too well.” Peter chuckled weakly.
“Hm..”-Tony said, eyebrows creased in concentration as he separated the webbing- “despite your obvious execution flaws, this formula holds up really well- Nice work Pete.”
“Thanks,” Peter said, abashed.
“Although, that doesn’t mean I approve of your work ethics; you need sleep.”
Peter shot him an indignant look. “Mr. Stark, don’t you need-“
“Nah uh! Zip it! Adult talking!”, Tony said, smirking while releasing the last strand of webbing, “Let’s go eat. Whatcha want kid?”
“Umm.. leftover pizza?”
“For breakfast?” Tony let out an exasperated sigh. “Alright fine, you win- just this once though.”
“We both know that’s not true,” replied Peter with a grin, slightly rubbing his newly freed arm as he followed Tony out of the lab.
—————————
Peter’s mouth watered as Tony took steaming pizza from the oven.
It’s amazing how well a hyperfixation can block my senses, thought Peter.
He practically inhaled the first four slices, hardly pausing to take sips of water between ravenous bites.
“Want more kid?”
“Yeah,” Peter replied sheepishly as he chewed the last piece of crust.
Tony sighed, clearly amused, as he opened the fridge to take out more pizza and a less-than-appetizing looking protein shake.
“You know, you should try the pizza challenge at that Italian place down the street. If you eat their jumbo-sized pizza in under 30 minutes, you get free slices every week for a whole year.”
“Do you think they’d get suspicious?”
“Actually that’s a good point, someone as shrimpy as you would certainly get attention.”
“Mr. Stark!”
“Your best chance would be to goat Cap into-“ Tony cut off abruptly, taking a sip from his drink. The air grew tense.
“Anyways,” started Tony, “you still haven’t told me why you were in the lab so early.”
“Oh.. that.”
Peter paused as his heart quickened, mind reeling. If I told him I can’t sleep he’d think I’m acting childish. It Is childish. Should I lie?
No, Mr. Stark would know, and plus what would I come up with?-
“Peter, no judging here.” Tony traced the edge of his glass with his hand. “Is it the room? I understand if you’d rather stay with your aunt after meetings; this place is probably pretty overwhelming. I could pester Happy into-“
“It’s not that Mr. Stark! I haven’t- It’s been”- Peter took a shaky breath- “hard for me to sleep lately.”
Tony looked up, mouth tightening. His brow slightly furrowed.
“I try, I really try Mr. Stark, but every now and then I keep getting these.. nightmares and it just feels so-“ Peter’s throat burned - “It’s like I’m there again.”
Peter looked down. His insides were churning with guilt and fear, while shame was clawing its way up his chest.
He had an overwhelming, bubbling urge to justify himself and explain everything, while another part of him was dense, and fearfully silent.
Like oil and water Peter thought.
Oil won.
“It’s always in the warehouse.. After Toomes- you know the vulture guy-he uh- he took out the support beams with his suit, and the building just- it was so heavy I- I couldn’t breathe.. I thought for sure that I would- that I wouldn’t be able to-“
Peter furiously blinked away tears. He looked up at Tony, suddenly self conscious.
Peter couldn’t quite read his expression. Tony’s forehead was creased. His hand was squeezing the glass, turning white with pressure. Tony’s face appeared paler, almost pained, but no, there was something else..
Was it.. guilt?
“And when I wake up I keep- it feels like it’s still happening,” Peter hurriedly continued, breaking eye contact, “FRIDAY helped me calm down, but I couldn’t fall back to sleep. The lamp is too bright, but without it, the room is so dark.” His voice broke.
Peter gave a weak chuckle, rubbing a hand over his head, “What kind of superhero is scared of the dark? It’s so stupid-“
“No, kid- Peter; I’m going to stop you right there. What you’re feeling isn’t stupid in the slightest, and it isn’t weak either. Would you think I’m stupid?”
Peter’s head shot up, looking aghast, “No! not at all Mr. Stark, I didn’t mean-“
“After Afghanistan, I couldn't sleep without a light for months, and when New York happened..” Tony faltered, “it came back. What you’re experiencing is reasonable -and quite honestly expected in this business. The only reason I myself didn’t crack up was because of Pepper and Rhodes..”
Tony ran a hand over the side of his face, seeming as though he had aged many years.
“For you to be dealing with this.. gosh kid, I wish you would have told me. Does May know?”
Peter shifts in his chair, “Um no, but she probably notices when I haven’t slept much. I just didn’t think this was something worth bringing up- It’s over, it’s been over. I should be fine now-“
“Peter, listen to me. Do you have any idea who you're talking to?,” Tony gave a harsh laugh.
“Kid, honestly, I’m probably the last person you should be talking to about this. I shut myself in the lab for weeks and turned to some... unsavory coping strategies in the past. Hell, I still don’t quite have a lid on the whole ‘anxiety thing’, but that doesn’t make me any less than who I am today, and the same goes to you. Something like this- it doesn’t go away.. not completely at least.
You can’t be afraid to let your guard down; you must allow others to help you- and Peter?”
Peter looked up, tensing while Tony took a breath.
“I am so proud of you.. Kid, I can’t even begin to describe how awesome that head of yours is- in fact I’m jealous. At your age, all I could think about were porn sites. That formula you made? Genius level stuff- of course nowhere near my level of geniusness, but you get the idea.”
Peter huffed a short laugh.
“Peter.. if it ever feels like too much, or if you need to tinker in the lab a bit, you know who to call. Just don’t scare me half to death like you did this morning, I already have enough grey hairs just worrying about you.”
The knot in Peter’s chest that had been consuming him ever since his nightmare finally unraveled, allowing a warm, comforting sense of gratitude to flood through him. He doesn’t hate me.. he’s actually proud of me.
“Mr. Stark, tha-“
The oven alarm rang, causing Peter and Tony to both jump in their seats.
Tony snatched the mit placed on the kitchen island, and strode to open the glass oven door. He cautiously took out the steaming leftover pizza.
“Ok Pete, next time we’re having pancakes for breakfast.”
Peter let out a mock gasp, “Mr. Stark, how dare you. Waffles are obviously superior.”
Tony grinned slyly, “You know actually, your pizza looks pretty good. I might take-“
“Alright, alright! We can have pancakes next time!”
“Told you I’d win.”
____________
Peter waved bye to Happy as he approached the apartment door, still exhilarated after his last visit.
When he dropped the correct dose of sodium borate onto the fluid, the new capsules were perfectly chemically balanced. Some of the metal parts were still being printed, but overall the Spider-Watch was almost complete, and the parts would be ready to assemble by the time of his next lab visit.
Peter opened the door, and was greeted with the tantalizing smell of Chinese takeout.
I’m so glad Aunt May didn’t cook
“Hey May!”
“Peter- You’re back! The food was getting cold; I wasn’t sure you’d make it.”
“Yeah, traffic was bad today. I’m surprised Happy was even capable of looking more grumpy than he already does.” Peter paused at the door, yanking his shoes off.
“Go put your bookbag in your room before the food gets any colder; do not leave it by the door for me to trip over mister.”
Peter grinned, “Okay May, be right back.”
He reached his room, and swung his backpack off his shoulder onto the rolling chair. He glanced up after noticing a brown bag sitting on his wooden desk. The lunch bag was labeled in Tony’s handwriting, “to Pete.”
He scooped up the package in one hand, surprised by the weight of it. Heart accelerating, he reached inside with his other and brushed a smooth, thin surface.
What is?-
Peter pulled the object out, revealing a thin oval shaped clear plastic slab, roughly the size of his hand. The outlines of a white Spider-Man mask were laser printed onto the front, and on the bottom there was a polished, white plug base.
Is this a.. night light?
Peter looked back onto the paper bag and found a cardstock note.
It read:
Thought this might be useful. This light connects to both FRIDAY and Karen to optimize voice controls. It can also be dimmed and brightened manually by the slider at the bottom. I've even made one for myself featuring my suit’s mask design.
I would advise bringing these dreams up with your aunt. It may seem like the last thing you should do- but trust me; you are not bringing anyone down with you by letting them in.
And kid, my lab door is always open.
Thoughts swirled in Peter's mind. Half of them were embarrassed Mr. Stark went through all the hassle, and another part of him lit up at how much thought went into the gesture.
Peter was snapped out of his thoughts as May shouted, “Earth to Peter! Are you coming? I thought we might watch an episode of that show you were raving about Thursday night?”
”Uh, Yeah, that'd be great Aunt May. Coming!”
Shaking his head, Peter carefully placed the nightlight back into his bag, heart feeling lighter and more exposed than he could ever imagine.