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Azriel was currently sitting at Elain’s kitchen island, watching her decorate the cake she had invited him over to bake. He knew that she wouldn’t actually let him do anything, but he was too smitten with her to say no, so he showed up. And just like he thought, he had been told to just sit down and keep her company after approximately five minutes of baking. Not that he minded. He wasn’t much of a baker, and he loved just spending time with her.
He had known Elain for almost two years now. They first met when his best friend, Rhysand, started dating her sister Feyre. And now, two years later, here they were, preparing a cake for Feyre and Rhys’s engagement party.
Elain was bent over, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she piped the last of the frosting onto the cake. Azriel couldn’t help but think that she was the most beautiful woman in the world, even with her hair in a messy bun and frosting on her cheek.
They had known each other for two years, and Azriel had been in love with her for almost as long. Any normal person would have confessed his feelings at this point, but Azriel was apparently not a normal person because he didn’t want to risk fucking up their friendship.
He almost did once, though. Eight months ago, to be exact. Cassian had thrown a Christmas party and, like at all Cassian’s parties, the alcohol had flowed freely and all of a sudden, Azriel had found himself alone with Elain. Graysen, her asshat of a boyfriend, hadn’t been at the party, and like the love-sick puppy he was, Azriel had spent most of the evening talking to Elain. It hadn’t been a problem until it got late and Azriel decided to give her the gift he had bought for her weeks earlier. It was a necklace with a small, glass pendant in the shape of a rose. As soon as he bought it, he cursed himself because what kind of idiot bought jewelry for a woman who was in a relationship with another man?
But even though he knew that it was stupid, he still kept the necklace, and, for some idiotic and inexplicable reason, he even brought it to the party. He hadn’t planned on giving it to her – not really . But then she was standing in front of him, telling him about her dream of going to the Netherlands to see the tulip fields and her eyes had been so full of life and excitement and Azriel just wanted her to keep looking at him like that. He wanted to be the reason for all her happiness and all of her dreams. Before he even knew what he was doing, he was reaching into his pocket for the small box, holding his breath as he handed it to her.
She hadn’t reached for it. No, instead, she asked him to open it.
Sometimes, he still thought about how she had smiled up at him and asked him to put it on. He still thought about how she seemed to lean into his touch when he fastened the golden chain around her neck. And he still thought about the way she angled her face towards his, silently giving him permission to kiss her. And god, had he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her and tease her and taste her. He wanted her to be his. He wanted so many fucking things, but they were not his to want.
She wasn’t his, and that was the problem. So before they could do anything she would regret, he backed away. He told her that it would have been a mistake if they kissed.
And then he left the party like the coward he was.
They had never talked about that night again, and he never saw her wear the necklace after that night. Two months later, she broke up with her boyfriend and Azriel had somehow hoped that she would come running to him, but she never did. He thought that he had been pretty clear about his feelings that night and if she felt the same, it should have been clear that he would be waiting for her. But she never made a move, and since Azriel couldn’t risk losing her as a friend, he didn’t make a move either. Sure, he wanted her in so many other ways, but if friendship was all she would give him, he would gladly take it.
Elain let out a breath, effectively bringing Azriel back to the present moment. She put down the piping bag and took a step back to admire her work. “It is done,” she said, and Azriel couldn’t help but smile at the serious tone in her voice.
“It’s amazing, Elain,” Azriel said, and it really was. The cake was enormous, each of the three layers decorated with care. Elain had somehow covered most of the cake with flowers - some real, some edible. Azriel had never seen anything like it. “I think it’s the best one you’ve ever made.”
She worried her lip between her teeth and Azriel had to curl his hands into fists under the kitchen island to keep himself from going to her and replacing her teeth with his.
God, he was pathetic.
“Do you really think so, or are you just tired of watching me bake?”
“Hey, I got to taste everything so I’m not complaining,” he teased. “But truly, they will love it. It’s a work of art.”
“Thank you.” She smiled at him, a lovely flush staining her cheeks. “And thanks for keeping me company. Sorry for banning you from the kitchen,” she added sheepishly.
“No worries. I’m pretty sure there would have been some sort of cake disaster if you would have let me anywhere near it.”
Elain bit her lip again, but this time to hold back a smile. “Like that time when you added salt instead of sugar when we made pancakes?”
Azriel feigned a hurt expression. “I thought we agreed to never talk about that again.”
“Oh, I never agreed to such a thing. I like teasing you too much,” she said and winked at him playfully. Azriel really hated the effect that little wink had on him.
Oh, you tease me more than you’ll ever know, Elain Archeron.
“I thought you needed help putting that cake in the fridge?” he said, leaning back and crossing his arms. “I might not feel inclined to help if you tease me about my baking skills.”
“Oh no,” she said with a fake British accent, throwing her arms out in an overly dramatic way. “Whatever shall I do? I cannot carry things, for I am but a weak little woman. Without a man, I am helpless. What, oh good sir, can I do to earn your trust again?”
Azriel had to laugh at the absurdity of the situation. There he was, in Elain's kitchen, listening to her putting on the worst fake British accent of all time while also calling him sir and asking for his help. It was like a nightmare and a dream, all rolled into one.
“First of all, don’t ever do that accent again,” he said, still laughing. “And second of all,” he leaned forward, lowering his voice, “what do I get if I help you?”
She gave him a wicked little smirk and mimicked his body language, placing her hands on the kitchen counter and leaning forward. He did not notice the fact that he could see right down her top. Nope, not at all.
“What if I don’t have anything to offer you?” She spoke slowly, her voice low and inviting and Azriel almost wanted to tell her to go back to the British accent because he wasn’t sure where this was going, but it started to sound like one of his dreams. “What shall I do then? Would you want me to beg?”
Azriel’s brain malfunctioned. This was definitely exactly like a dream he had just last week and he had no idea how to answer her since his brain only wanted to show him what happened next in his dream, when Elain went down on her knees and–
Azriel shook his head as if he could shake away the memories of that dream. “I, uh…well–”
Elain stared at him for a split second before bursting out in laughter, “I’m just messing with you. I can give you a beer and something to eat,” she said, and just like that, Azriel’s vocabulary, and bits of his sanity, returned.
She walked over to the fridge and opened it. It was almost empty, which was a rare sight in the home of Elain Archeron. Nothing was empty here - especially the fridge. Every surface held little trinkets or plants and the fridge was usually filled to the brim.
“I had to rearrange it to fit the cake,” she explained. She reached into the fridge and grabbed a bottle. “Will you trade your strength for this cold beer?”
“Only if you’ll join me.”
Elain grabbed another beer and pointed one of the bottles toward the cake. “Gladly. But be careful, it’s probably heavier than it looks.”
“What happens if I drop it?” he asked as he rounded the kitchen island.
“You shall feel my wrath,” she said in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Gandalf shouting you shall not pass to the Balrog. “And we would have to eat store-bought cake.”
“Heaven forbid.”
“My sentiment exactly.”
When the cake was safely put away in the fridge (it had indeed been heavier than expected), and the dishwasher loaded, they sat down on the couch together. Elain touched her bottle to Azriel’s. “To a job well done.”
“I didn’t really do anything but I’m glad I could offer some moral support,” he chuckled.
“Moral support is the main ingredient, didn’t you know?” she smiled at him for just a second before lifting the bottle to her lips, and downing half her beer in one go. If Azriel hadn’t been in love with her before, this might have done it for him.
“What?” she asked when she caught him staring.
“Nothing,” he shrugged and took a sip of his own beer. “I just like that you prefer beer and whisky over girly drinks.”
Elain made a face at him. “Ew, Azriel.”
“What?”
“That’s not very feminist.”
“Okay, you have lost me.” He was genuinely confused.
“I can’t help that I don’t like girly drinks.”
“It’s not a bad thing. I’m just saying that you’re not like other girls.”
“No!” she put her hand over his mouth and he had the sudden urge to lick her. He refrained though. That would have been weird. Just as weird as the fact that he wanted to lick her everywhere. Or maybe that wasn’t weird – maybe that was the normal reaction one would have after spending the day with the most wonderful girl in the entire world. A girl who just happened to like beer and whisky.
“You’re making it worse,” she hissed just as her phone lit up with an incoming text message. Azriel was too far away to read the notification.
“Making what worse?”
She didn’t answer. She had picked up her phone, holding it up to her face so she could see the entire message. If Azriel wasn’t mistaken, he could have sworn that her cheeks grew just the tiniest bit pinker the more she read.
“Who is it?” he asked, hoping that he didn’t sound as nosy as he felt.
Still no answer.
Mindlessly, she bit her just like she always did when she was nervous and Azriel wanted so badly to lean over and read whatever was on her phone. He didn’t, though. That would definitely be a creepy thing to do.
“Elain?” he tried again.
She startled at his voice, as if she had forgotten that he was there.
“Sorry.” She quickly put away the phone, screen down, on the coffee table.
“Who was it?”
“No one,” she answered too quickly.
“No one?” Azriel raised an eyebrow in question. “Was it Cerridwen sending you those dirty gifs again?” he teased.
“Not really.” Elain picked at the label on her beer bottle and let out a sigh. “Okay, I’ll tell you but you can’t laugh.”
“Is it funny?”
“I don’t think so?”
“Then I won’t laugh.”
He really hoped that she was about to show him a silly gif from the movie Magic Mike or something.
Elain took a deep breath and sat up a bit straighter. “I signed up for a dating app a few weeks ago.”
And just like that, their previous conversation about beer and whisky and feminism was forgotten. Azriel felt his heart drop. He really didn’t feel like laughing.
“And I’ve been talking to this guy who seems really sweet. He just asked me on a date,”
she continued, and now Azriel was certain she was blushing. Fuck, he loved it when she blushed. He loved it even more when he was the one who brought color to her cheeks. This, however, felt like a punch to the gut.
It shouldn’t come as a surprise to him that Elain would start dating again. She had broken up with asshole-Graysen months ago and she had so much to offer. But somewhere in his twisted mind he still thought that he had time. He still thought that maybe, just maybe, she would tell him that she had feelings for him too. He thought that she must have felt something that night at the Christmas party, and that they would talk about that night sometime.
But that time never came, and now here they were. Fuck, he should have told her how he felt weeks ago. Months, even. But it just never felt like the right time, and he didn’t want to fuck up their friendship. But now, faced with the reality that Elain might date someone who wasn’t Azriel, he regretted every single moment where he could have told her how he felt but didn’t. His mind was reeling but he was somehow able to get out the next sentence in something that resembled a calm tone even though he felt everything but calm.
“So, are you going to say yes?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know.” Elain let out another sigh and continued. “I never expected to find someone on a dating app, and I really do hate how impersonal it is. But from what I’ve gathered, this is how everyone meets people these days.”
“You sure it’s safe?”
He felt like an asshole. He was also on dating apps – or at least he had been before he realized that there was only one girl he wanted. However, he mainly used it for hookups – never anything serious. Elain was different though. He knew that she didn’t want to just hook up with a stranger. If she was dating and putting herself out there, she was taking it seriously.
“Well, I think it is,” she tucked one leg underneath herself and twisted so she was facing him. “I mean, most of the men who have messaged me have been total idiots. You wouldn’t believe the shit I’ve been sent.” Azriel could absolutely believe the shit she had been sent and just the thought of someone sending Elain crude messages made his blood boil.
“I almost deleted the app, but then Lucien wrote to me,” she added quietly. “That’s his name, by the way.”
Azriel just nodded. He had no idea who this Lucien was, he just knew that he hated him. Even if he was the nicest man on the planet, he was currently Azriel’s least favorite person. Apart from Graysen, that is.
Elain didn’t wait for him to answer. “I mean, I think I should go on the date. He seems nice and he actually knows how to hold a conversation. And, in all honesty, he’s not ugly. Not my usual type maybe…” Did he just imagine it, or did her eyes linger on him? “Anyway, I should probably get out there more. At least according to Nesta.” She let out a humorless laugh. “She doesn’t want me to turn into a spinster, apparently.”
“You won’t,” Azriel managed to get out.
She barely acknowledged his word. “But then again, it feels a bit weird to go on a date with someone you’ve never met, you know? It feels unnatural almost. Like, I have to make sure that we meet somewhere public, and I have to send my location to a friend in case something happens. And even though he really seems nice, I still have to think about my safety. Normally, I wouldn’t go out with someone if I didn’t know that they were a safe person, you know?”
Azriel was glad that she was thinking about her safety, but he also wished she didn’t have to. “But do you like him?” he asked, mainly because that was the only important question. He needed to know. He leaned back and slung one arm over the back of the couch and faced her more fully. He needed to see the reaction on her face. Needed to see as well as hear her answer.
There was a beat of silence, and then, “I don’t know.” She had almost peeled off the entire label on her bottle by this point. “I think so? It’s hard to say when you haven’t met. But he’s polite, he has a job, he can hold a conversation and he seems genuinely interested in me, not just in getting me into bed.”
She blushed again and Azriel had to try his hardest not to imagine what kind of messages she had received from the disgusting men on this stupid app.
“There are a lot of polite men with jobs in this world, Elain. What makes you want to date this person in particular?”
She seemed to think about his question for a while. “God, I don’t know. I felt so sure a few days ago but now–” her eyes drifted over to him and he held her gaze, refusing to turn away from her this time. “Now, I don’t know.” She took another sip of her beer. “What do you think I should do?”
Azriel almost laughed at that question. He wanted to tell her to give him her phone so he could delete the app. He wanted to tell her that no man deserved her. He wanted to tell her that she was everything he had ever wanted.
He wanted to tell her so many things, but the only thing that came out was, “Are you asking me if I think you should go on a date with a man you’ve never met who can turn out to be a serial killer?”
She rolled her eyes and punched his arm playfully. “I have face timed him just to make sure that he wasn’t catfishing me. And I doubt he’s a serial killer. He doesn’t have the vibe.”
She was trying to tease him – to lighten the mood, but Azriel couldn’t even smile at this point.
“Yeah, but still. You said it yourself; it feels unnatural to go on a date with someone you’ve met online.”
“So you think I shouldn’t go?”
“That’s not what I said.”
Though, it was exactly what he meant.
“Please, Azriel. I’m freaking out here.”
Yeah, same, Azriel thought to himself and took another swig of his beer.
Elain gestured to her phone on the table. “I need to answer him. He can see that I’ve read the message.”
For a second, Azriel contemplated telling her to go on the date. She did deserve to find someone to be with after all, and in all honesty, it was hard to find someone worse that her ex. But just the mere thought of having to see her happy with someone else made his stomach drop – made his heart ache.
This thing couldn’t go on. Even if she didn’t want him, Azriel had to hear that from her. He couldn’t go on pretending as if he was fine with just being friends – at least not without seeing if there could be something else between them.
“Azriel?” she asked, her voice careful. He had been quiet for too long.
“You really want to know what I think?”
She nodded. “Yes.” And when she looked at him with her warm eyes, full of kindness and questions, Azriel just knew that this was the point of no return.
“I don’t think he’s good enough for you.”
She raised her eyebrows in surprise. “You know nothing about him.”
Was she getting defensive?
“No one is good enough for you, Elain.”
She put her bottle down on the table and let out an incredulous laugh. “So what? I should just be alone forever, is that what you’re saying?”
“No, that’s not…” He took a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts. “I just mean that you should be with someone who will love every little part of you. You shouldn’t settle for the first guy you meet on a freaking dating app just because he didn’t send you a dick pic.”
“Are you serious right now?” she asked, gaping at him.
Azriel didn’t answer her question. Instead, he decided to tell her the truth. She deserved it, and so did he. They had danced around each other for long enough.
Azriel put his beer on the coffee table next to hers and leaned forward, catching her gaze. She just looked at him, waiting for whatever he was about to say. Azriel took a deep breath, and then the words that he had held on the tip of his tongue for too long came rushing out. “You should be with someone who loves the fact that you have to go to a different town to buy your tea because you like the owner and he’s too old to have a website. You should be with someone who loves the fact that you name your plants and talk to them as if they are real people,”
“Plants have feelings too,” she said under her breath.
He smiled at her because somehow, he knew that she was going to say that. “You should be with someone who loves the way you scrunch your nose when you’re concentrated, who adores the fact that you hate girly drinks but love whisky,” she rolled her eyes at him but let him continue. “You should be with someone who won’t mind getting up at the ass crack of dawn just because you enjoy seeing the sunrise. You should be with someone who won’t make fun of you when you cry to Disney movies or when you sing totally off-key to Taylor Swift in your car. You should be with someone who knows you and even though no one deserves you, Elain, you should be with someone who loves every single part of you.”
For a few seconds, she just stared at him. And he stared right back. He felt as though he had run a marathon. Did she understand what he was telling her?
“And how do I find someone like that if I don’t put myself out there?” she asked, her voice small. “I have to meet someone before they can get to know me.”
“Or you can go out with someone you already know.”
“What are you saying, Azriel?”
This was it. This was the moment when Azriel had to tell the truth – even though it might ruin what they have. This was the moment that could change everything.
“I’m saying that I don’t think you should go on that date because I’m in love with you.” He saw her expression change and almost felt the energy in the room change as those words left his mouth. She opened her mouth as if to say something, but no words came. He couldn’t tell if this was a good thing or not, so he continued, “and I know that it’s completely selfish and please feel welcome to tell me to fuck off, but I think you might like me too.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “That night at Cassian’s Christmas party… I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I just thought that you felt something too, but we never talked about it.”
Silence stretched between them and even though every cell in his body screamed at him to reach out for her, he stayed still. He waited. And waited. And then…
“You called me a mistake.” Her voice was barely more than a whisper.
“What?”
“At the Christmas party.”
“What? No. I said that it was a mistake if we would have kissed since you had a boyfriend. I may be a bastard, but I don’t kiss girls who are in relationships. Not even if their boyfriends are idiots.”
This made her laugh and Azriel held his breath, waiting for her response.
“Well, if you are a bastard, then I guess I’m an even bigger one because I really wanted you to kiss me that night.”
He really didn’t like Elain calling herself a bastard. She was the furthest thing from it. “We were drunk,” he offered as an excuse.
“I wasn’t,” she said, looking at him with a sincere expression on her face. “I had one drink that night. If you would have kissed me, I would have let you. Gladly.”
And there it was – everything he had wanted to hear. He hadn’t imagined it.
“And now?” he asked.
“And now what?” she asked, a small smile playing on her lips.
“Do you still want to kiss me?”
In that moment, the world changed. Time slowed. Everything that happened then played out in slow motion – at least that’s what it felt like for Azriel. He felt Elain place her hand on his knee, saw her lean forward tentatively at first. He didn’t dare move. She looked at him, held his gaze, and then – she smiled. And her smile was devastating. It was the kind of smile that could brighten even the darkness of his soul.
When her lips met his, he felt as if though fireworks had gone off somewhere in his chest, close to his heart. She was gentle, exploring. Her hand traveled up his thigh and he never wanted this moment to end.
“Does that answer your question?” she asked, her lips not leaving his. She tasted like beer and sugar and vanilla and he needed more. He needed everything she would give him.
He moved his hand to her neck, letting his thumb stroke her jaw. “Yes,” was all he managed to say before he pulled her closer. This time, there was nothing gentle about the way they kissed. If the first kiss had been a giving, this was a taking.
Elain moaned against him when he deepened the kiss further, letting his tongue explore and taste. He moved his hand to the back of her head, his fingers tangling in her hair. “Azriel,” she breathed and never had his name sounded so good. He wanted to hear her say his name like that every single day from now on.
Elain placed her hand on his chest and with a gentle push, she made him lean back on the couch. He was just about to protest since this also meant that they were no longer kissing, but then she shifted. She got up on her knees and straddled him, bringing their lips together again.
Azriel was certain that he had died and gone to heaven.
His hand explored her thighs, his fingertips playing with the edge of her skirt. Her skin was so soft and Azriel wanted nothing more than to explore what was hidden underneath that little skirt, but he had no idea how far they could go tonight, so he didn’t go any further. He let Elain set the pace. Her arms were around his neck, her fingers playing with his hair as she kissed and kissed him. He moved his hand to her neck again, trying to pull her closer even though there was no air between them anymore.
“Fuck,” he groaned when she moved her hips against him. He could feel her smile as she did it again. They kissed for what could have been hours before Azriel finally broke free from her, both of them breathing heavily now. He needed an answer to the most important question of all.
“How do you…” he didn’t even manage to get his question out before she answered.
“I’m in love with you too.” She kissed his cheek. His nose. “I thought you didn’t want me since you never said anything. But I love every part of you too.” She moved one of her hands and placed it over his where it rested on her thigh. His scarred hand – the hand he always thought of as not worthy to touch something as precious as Elain. She squeezed his hand and kissed him gently again.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” Azriel said against her lips.
“Only this?” she challenged.
“No, not only this. But it’s a great start.”
She sat up straighter and looked down at him with a smile before resting her forehead against his. “What more have you wanted to do?” He could taste her breath. He wanted to taste even more.
“So many things.” He tried to kiss her again but she pulled away.
“Like what?”
He groaned and settled on kissing her neck. He could feel her shiver against him as he placed soft kisses along the column of her throat. “I want to take you on a date.”
“That could be arranged. But what do you want to do right now? What have you imagined?”
He had no idea how truthful he should be in this situation since he had imagined doing all kinds of things with her - to her. “I wanted to kiss you.” He placed a kiss just below her ear and Elain hummed. “Everywhere,” he added. “I want to taste you. I want to…”
“Show me.”
“Elain?” His lips stopped just below her jaw.
“Don’t tell me. Show me.”
He leaned back again and met her eyes and found his own desired mirror there. “You sure?”
Once again, she moved her hips, grinding herself against his hardness. “Very.”
Azriel snaked an arm around her waist and before she could get another word in, he flipped them over so Elain was laying on her back and he was nestled between her thighs. This time, he was the one who ground into her. He was so fucking hard, so fucking lost to the sensation of her. He kissed her again, tenderly this time. Her arms wrapped around his neck to pull him closer.
He held himself up with one hand propped beside her head, the other hand making its way up her thigh, over her hip. “So fucking soft,” he all but groaned. “So beautiful.” His hand dipped beneath her shirt. “Can I take this off?”
“Only if you take this one off too,” she teased and pulled at the collar of his shirt. He sat up and pulled his shirt off and he couldn’t help but smirk when he caught Elain staring. “God, you’re hot,” she breathed and dragged one hand over his abs. He chuckled and bent down to kiss her again.
Somehow, he was able to get her out of her shirt without breaking their kiss for too long. If you asked Azriel, not kissing Elain seemed like a crime right now. He kissed his way down her throat again and licked her collarbone. He brought one hand up to cup her breast through her lace bra. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”
“Don’t you dare.”
He smiled into her skin and continued peppering her with kisses. When he reached her bra, he pulled down one cup and kissed the soft skin there before licking her hard nipple. “Az,” she moaned, and he did it again just to hear her say his name like that once more. He moved to her other breast, showing it the same attention while his hand gently played with the other nipple. “So fucking sweet for me.”
“Who knew you had such a dirty mouth?” she laughed, but her laughter quickly turned into a moan when he took her nipple into his mouth.
God, this was even better than his dreams. The little sounds she made would surely be the death of him, and if they were, he would die a very happy man. He let his hand travel over her stomach until he reached her skirt again. “These little skirts you wear,” he whispered against her skin. “They drive me mad.”
“Oh, really?” she breathed, her fingers now tangled in his hair. “Maybe you should take it off then.”
He smiled and reached for the hem of her skirt, but instead of taking it off, he pushed it up until it was bunched around her waist. Once again, he sat back on his heels and Elain whimpered when his body left hers. She looked so beautiful like this. Her hair pooled around her like a halo, her cheeks were the loveliest shade of pink and that blush had spread down over her chest. Her lips were redder than usual and he was tempted to kiss them again. However, there was somewhere else he wanted to kiss first.
He let his eyes travel down her body and found that her panties were the same lilac shade as her bra. Slowly, he let his fingertips stroke up the inside of her thigh.
“Are you wet, Elain?” he asked even though he already knew the answer. She seemed to want him just as much as he wanted her. But still, he wanted to hear it too.
“Maybe.” She was leaning on her elbows, her eyes never leaving his hand.
He stopped just at the juncture of her thigh, his index finger slowly teasing the edge of her panties. “Should I find out?”
Elain let out a shaky breath and gave him a small nod. With his knuckles, he stroked her over her underwear, eliciting the sweetest little moan from her. He did it again, and this time he added more pressure. “Azriel, please” she breathed.
“So wet,” Azriel murmured. “So sweet for me.” He dipped one finger underneath the gusset of her underwear and found her soaked. Elain’s hands clenched the blanket underneath her as he gently stroked her. “I bet you taste so fucking sweet.”
He bent down to kiss her knee - to let his lips follow the path his hand had taken just moments ago.
“You… you don’t have to,” Elain said, her body tensing up.
Azriel had no idea what just happened, but this wasn’t good.
He removed his hand from beneath her underwear and settled it on her hip instead, his thumb caressing her hipbone. He wanted to soothe her, even though he didn’t know what just happened to make her tense up like that. “I know I don’t. But I want to.”
She didn’t meet his eyes. “I know most men don’t like doing… well, that.”
“What?” Was she serious? She thought he didn’t want to go down on her? And who the hell had told her that men didn’t like giving oral sex?
Her cheeks were red and she still wouldn’t look at him when she said, “So if you don’t like it, you don’t have to–”
He was shaking his head before she even finished her sentence. “Elain, I have wanted to taste you ever since that fucking Christmas party.”
“Oh…”
“This is like every dream I’ve had in the past year coming true.” She smiled at him and put her hand over his where it rested on her hip. “But I don’t have to if you don’t like it.”
“It’s just…I don’t know,” her voice was barely more than a whisper.
“You don’t know if you like it?” he asked, confused.
She shook her head. “I’ve never… well, no one has ever–”
“Are you telling me no one has gone down on you? Ever?”
Blushing even more, she shook her head again.
Azriel had to school his expression just to not show her the surprise he felt at her admission. She had a boyfriend for three years. Three fucking years, and he never went down on her? Never tasted her? Graysen really was an idiot. But some part of Azriel was glad no one had tasted her before. That meant that he was her first, in some way at least. He didn’t know why, and it probably made him a douchebag, but he really liked knowing that he was the first, and hopefully last, to taste her. If she would let him, that is. He really hoped she would.
“Do you want to try?”
She nodded again, her eyes finally meeting his once more. There was a careful smile on her lips. “But don’t feel like you have to,” she added quickly.
“Elain, I would beg for a chance to taste you.”
“Well, you’re already on your knees,” she teased.
“Oh, so that’s what gets you going, huh? Making me beg?”
She shrugged. “Perhaps.” He knew that she was just teasing him, but if she wanted him to beg, then beg he would.
“Well, then…” He kissed her knee. “Please, Elain.” He kissed her other knee. “I have been dreaming of you coming on my tongue. Please, put me out of my misery and let me taste you.” His hand stroked up the back of her thighs.
“Well, since you’re begging so nicely…”
And that was all the encouragement he needed. Azriel kissed his way up her inner thigh and placed a gentle kiss over her panties. Fuck, she smelled so fucking good. Like sex and honey and Elain. He reached for her underwear and she lifted her hips so he could slide them off. When he dropped her underwear to the floor, Elain placed one of her legs on the back of the couch, giving him access to all of her. Gone was the shy, blushing girl. This was a woman who knew what she wanted, and Azriel would give her everything she ever asked for.
“Beautiful,” he murmured as he settled between her legs. He had to make this good for her. He had to make sure that she was shaking by the time he was done.
He kissed her inner thigh, and then the other. He placed a chaste kiss just over her clit, and one more a bit lower. When he flattened his tongue and licked her from opening to clit, Elain gasped and moved her hand to his hair. Azriel grabbed her hips and held her still and repeated the same motion.
Somewhere above him, Elain moaned. She moaned and twisted her fingers in his hair and Azriel had never felt so fucking good in his life. She tasted better than he would have ever imagined and the sounds she made as he devoured her almost made him come in his pants.
He teased her entrance with a finger, slowly pressing it inside while sucking her clit into his mouth. “Fuck,” she gasped. He didn’t let up. He added a second finger, never changing the rhythm. “So good for me,” he whispered against her heat before taking her clit into his mouth again. He angled his finger upwards and the change made Elain moan even loader. He could tell that she was close from the way she started to babble. “Right there, please, just– oh god, please…yes, Azriel, I–”
Her body tensed underneath him, and then, with his name on her lips, she came. Azriel didn’t let up - he guided her through her pleasure and didn’t remove his fingers until she relaxed back on the couch. With one last kiss to her thigh, Azriel sat back up.
Azriel had always found Elain beautiful - but she had never been as beautiful as she was right at this moment. She looked like an angel, and if you asked Azriel, having Elain Archeron come in his mouth was a damn near religious experience.
He kissed his way up her body but didn’t make it very far before Elain grabbed him and pulled him up for a kiss. She didn’t seem to mind that she could taste herself on his tongue. “Thank you,” she whispered against his lips. Her hand traveled over his chest where she let her fingertips trace his tattoos. “I like these.”
“I like you.”
She rolled her eyes at him, but she couldn’t hide the smile playing on her lips. “Smooth talker.”
Her hand traveled lower, over his abs, before reaching his belt. She gave it a few tugs but ended up groaning in frustration when she couldn’t undo it with just one hand. Azriel wouldn’t lie - he enjoyed seeing her so desperate to get him undressed. “I want you,” she said with a pout and moved her hand so she was cupping him through his pants.
Groaning, he let his head fall to her shoulder. “You are going to be the death of me.”
She answered by licking the shell of his ear and squeezing his erection. His hips moved against her hand involuntarily, seeking friction.
“Tell me what you want Elain.” He spoke against her throat, so god damned lost in the feeling of her.
“I just did. I want you.”
“No, I need you to be more specific.”
She nibbled his earlobe lightly and wrapped one leg around his hip. “I want you to take your pants off.”
“And then?”
“And then…” she kissed his cheek and lowered her voice, “Then I want you inside me.”
Yeah, he wanted that too. Needed it. Craved it. With a growl, Azriel stood up and offered a hand to Elain. Dazed, she put her hand in his. “What are you doing? I thought…”
“The first time I fuck you, it will be in your bed.”
“Oh,” the loveliest blush spread across her cheeks and Azriel pulled her closer. He tucked away a loose strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her cheek. “Or did you have someplace else in mind?”
“No,” she answered quickly. “Bed is fine.”
“Good.” Azriel bent down and picked her up. He needed to get her in bed right this minute or he might explode. Elain shrieked and threw her arms around his neck and let him carry her bridal style to the bedroom. The only light in the room came from a small lamp on the bedside table - bathing the room in a golden glow.
Azriel put her down on the bed and he knew he should be a gentleman. He knew he should take his time and let her set the pace, but Azriel was no gentleman. At least not right now. Not when Elain so clearly wanted him. Not when all his dreams were coming true.
He leaned down and reached for the skirt that was still bunched around her waist. He pulled it off her while she reached behind herself to undo her bra. When he took a step back, he finally got to see all of Elain. Somehow, he had imagined that she would be shy. She was a very gentle soul, and she didn’t talk about sex or use crude words. Somehow, Azriel thought that this meant that she would feel shy in sexual situations. He was happy to find the opposite. Elain leaned back on her elbows, seeming comfortable with him staring at her as though she was the answer to all his questions. Elain was comfortable in her own body - in her own sexuality. She knew what she wanted, and lucky for Azriel, right now she wanted him.
Slowly, she circled one of her nipples with her finger while holding his gaze. There was a playful little smile on her lips. “Now you,” she said and let her eyes travel south.
Azriel’s hands went to his belt and he could feel the way Elain watched his every move. “You really are the most beautiful woman in the world.”
He undid the buckle. Slowly. Teasingly.
“I have imagined this for so long,” he continued. “I have wanted you for so long, you don’t even know.”
He pulled the belt out of the belt loops and let it fall to the floor.
“So have I,” she breathed, her eyes still never leaving his hands. “Even when I was with him, I was thinking about you. Wanting you.”
Azriel heard himself growl at those words. It pleased him immensely to know that she had thought about him when she was with someone else. Maybe that made him a bastard? He really didn’t care.
Azriel undid his pants and pulled them down his legs. He stepped out of them and kicked them to the side, all while keeping his eyes focused on Elain. She was laying on her back with her legs bent and, to his dismay, closed. They wouldn’t be for long.
When he reached for his underwear, Elain stopped him. “No, let me.” Her voice was lower than he had ever heard it, so full of want and need that he almost just pushed her down on the bed and took her right then and there. But when Elain got on her hands and knees and crawled, fucking crawled, on the bed to him, he was helpless. Anything she said, he would do. It was like a scene from one of Azriel’s dirtier daydreams and he never wanted it to end.
With a feline smirk on her lips, she stroked his cock through his boxers and kissed him just below his belly button. “You smell so good,” she murmured against his skin.
He could do nothing but stare at her. Was this really happening?
When she reached into his boxers and pulled him out, he finally found his voice again, “Elain…” Her name sounded like a prayer on his lips. He hadn’t been planning on this. In all honesty, he hadn’t planned anything that happened tonight, be he had definitely not imagined Elain on her knees before him, stroking his cock. Her fingers just barely managed to wrap around his length and he couldn’t help but love the sight of her dainty hand around his cock. Slowly, so very slowly, she stroked him once, twice. Azriel groaned and threw his head back. He should stop her. He should get her on her back and–
Before he could even finish that thought he felt Elain’s lips against the head of his cock. When he looked down, he found her looking up at him. Her tongue darted out to lick the drop of precum that had gathered at the slit.
“Elain,” he said again, because her name was the only word he knew at this point. She was everything and he was losing his fucking mind.
“I’ve wanted to taste you too,” she purred before flattening her tongue against the base of his cock and licking his entire length. He was just about to say something when Elain took him into her mouth, and once again, his brain malfunctioned. She closed her eyes and bobbed her head, taking him deeper while pumping him with one hand. There was no way she could fit all of him in her mouth. Not that he cared - this was better than anything he could have ever wished for.
“Look at me,” he all but growled. He needed to see her eyes. Needed to see everything she felt. She did as he asked, and Azriel cupped her jaw. “Such a good girl,” he said and stroked her cheek with his thumb. She whimpered at the praise. Interesting , Azriel thought to himself. “You’re a fucking dream, Elain.”
He saw the way she pressed her legs together. Saw the way her body reacted to his words. She took him even deeper, as if though his words made her want to prove something. The more primal side of Azriel wanted to grab her by the hair and fuck that pretty little mouth of hers until he came down her throat. But he didn’t. Now was not the time for that.
Instead, he moved his hand to the back of her head and pulled her hair lightly. “If you don’t stop, I won’t last much longer.”
“You say that as if that’s a bad thing.” She was breathless. Her lips were swollen and her mascara had smeared a little under one of her eyes. She had never looked better.
“I thought you wanted me inside you,” he murmured and leaned down to kiss her. She tasted like him.
“Technically, you were inside me.”
Instead of giving her an answer, Azriel kissed her again. Placing one knee on the bed, he guided her until she lay down in the middle of the bed. She opened her legs for him and he gladly took his place between them. “You are so beautiful,” he murmured against her lips.
“Please, Azriel,” Elain whimpered when he ground his hips against hers. “Please.”
Azriel reached down and took his cock in one hand, slowly stroking her with the tip. “Condom?” he asked because for some fucking reason, this was the first time all night that he had even remembered to ask about protection. This girl really made him lose his mind.
“I have an IUD. We’re fine.”
And thank fuck because Azriel needed to be inside her right now.
He bent down and kissed her neck again. He needed to be near her. Needed all of his senses filled with Elain. He guided himself to her entrance and slowly - gently - started to push inside. He had to summon every ounce of strength in order to not fuck into her like some sort of beast.
As if she could read his mind, Elain whispered, “You don’t have to be so gentle with me, Azriel.”
Just as the words left her mouth, he bottomed out. He was fully inside her and she felt so good. Too good. “So tight,” he murmured. “Don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t.” She whimpered when he pulled out again. “I can take whatever you give me.”
He could feel that she wanted more. That she wanted him to give her everything.
“Put your arms above your head.” The words came out like a command and she was quick to follow his instructions. She tightened around him when he moved his hand that had been holding onto her waist to her wrists, pressing them down into the mattress.
She liked this. She liked it when he took control. When he showed her what he wanted.
He pushed into her harder this time. “Is this what you want , huh?” he asked and pushed into her again. She wrapped her legs around his waist. “Yes, more,” she moaned.
“Keep your hands there,” he ordered her. “You’re not to move until you come around my cock.” He needed his hand back. He needed to touch her while he fucked her.
She did as she was told, and Azriel moved his hand to her breast, tugging at one of her nipples. She arched into his touch and moaned his name. “So fucking good for me,” he groaned. “Taking me so well. Asking for more.” He fucked her faster, harder. Followed the way her body so clearly told him what she needed.
When he reached down to stroke her clit, she whimpered and tightened her legs around him. “Please,” she whined. “So close.”
He fucked into her while his fingers played with her clit. Azriel’s lips found hers again and when she let his tongue into her mouth, he had no idea where he ended and she began. This was everything. Sex had never felt this good. This right . He was never letting her go.
When he felt her body tense underneath him, he made sure to not change his pace. She moaned into his mouth, her body writhing in pleasure and her pussy getting impossibly tight as she came for him a second time. He could taste his own name on her lips when she climaxed.
If having her come in his mouth had been a religious experience, this had him seeing god.
As soon she was over her own edge, she moved her hands to his back. Her nails dug into his skin as he continued fucking her. He braced both hands beside her head and focused on his own pleasure. God, he was close. So fucking close, he should pull out. He should…
“Come inside,” she begged, her voice husky and raw and pleading. “Please.”
Barely had the words left her mouth before he was spilling inside her. Azriel groaned. He could feel her smile against his lips and he knew, without a doubt, that this was it for him. She was it. She was everything.
And if she would let him, he could be everything for her too.
While Elain went to the bathroom, Azriel pulled on his boxers and went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water. He put it on the bedside table and got back into bed. When she came back, she was wearing his shirt.
His cock hardened at the sight of her in his clothes. God, he was a possessive bastard.
With a smile that told him that she knew exactly what she was doing, she climbed into bed next to him. She kissed his shoulder and cuddled close to him. Azriel wrapped one arm around her and kissed the top of her head.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each other in the silence.
“Thank you,” Elain whispered after a few minutes.
“For what?”
“For telling me how you felt,” she said and pressed her nose to his chest, breathing him in. “And for giving me two orgasms. I usually never come during sex.”
Azriel had no idea what to answer to that. God , her ex was even worse than Azriel thought. He almost told her that, but he really didn’t feel like bringing up other men right now, so he settled on, “I’ll give you as many orgasms as you like.”
“Promise? I might get greedy,” she teased.
“I promise.”
Elain lifted her head and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I should probably delete that dating app now.”
Azriel had forgotten about that damn app. He had forgotten about the message that was waiting in her inbox.
“Give me your phone and I’ll do it.”
She laughed and handed him her phone. “Something tells me that you can be a bit territorial.”
He wasn’t. Not usually. But with her - all bets were off. “Is that a problem?”
“Not at all.” Her fingertips traced his tattoos again, following every little swirl that covered his chest. “I can be a bit territorial too.”
“Oh, really?”
“Mhm,” her hand drifted lower. “And a bit demanding.”
“Is that so?”
When she reached inside his boxers for the second time that night, Azriel could do nothing but surrender. Her phone lay forgotten somewhere between the sheets.