Work Text:
How long has it been?
Are you still coming out?
Maybe you already out and I'm left here
Are you waiting for me?
Or I'm the one waiting for you?
The buzzing sound of his purple phone woke him up from a fever dream. It's been three days since Mika got sick. He hasn't recovered to it yet because no one's there to take care of him.
He weakly stretched his arms out, grabbing anything nearby just to get his body up. Sluggishly making his way to the kitchen to grab some warm water. As he looks around his apartment, he mentally shook his head seeing how dirty his place is.
"Maybe this is also the reason I can't recover immediately" he thought to himself.
The dust on the top of a low cabinet is a centimeter thick. Spiders decorated the corners as if Halloween is happening in a month. There are some crawling creatures around the floor but he isn't sure if there's actually one or he's just hallucinating from hunger, adding to his already woozy head.
Out of all the time he had living, it happened that a big bad luck strike upon him. Shu has been in seminars and working in a close, uncontactable event in Europe. Arashi is out with Knights and are travelling in UK for possible tour abroad and partnership. Ritsu and Hajime are on holiday trips with their families.
"This is because I've been overworking myself... I keep forgetting to eat and barely slept from triple jobs and thinking of a new concept for Valkyrie...
Maybe be if I am with Oshi-san, I would be okay by now... I wish he's here to take care of me, like he used to"
Nothing but a heavy sigh left his mouth. He grabbed his cup and blew a few times before sipping the water. His itchy burning throat felt soothe when the water trickled down. He felt a little alive from that. He coughed three or four, gasping for air, wanting to get hydrated again.
Mika slowly slumped on the dining table, resting his dizzy head on it. He can't cook nor dial a delivery because his only contacts are Shu, Arashi, Hajime and the orphanage. He keeps on forgetting to update his phone because he doesn't really need it aside from calling Shu.
He crunched his stomach, growling from hunger. There weren't candies left for him to eat and he needed to have a proper meal sooner, or else this sickness will grow fatal. He knew about it but can't do anything about it either. His jaws and hands are too weak to be even clenched. He just blankly stares at the nothingness, hoping the time would just pass by and he would magically feel better.
"Oshi-san..."
His sight was on the floor, looking at the shiny black shoes. The blanking noise started to fade away and a clear voice has filled in the dead sound of a flatline ring. He looked up, seeing his mentor's face in pure hatred and disgust. He blinked in confusion.
"You're nothing but a scrap doll. I can no longer use you if you look like this"
"b- but Oshi-san... I'm already a human?"
"Huh?! Stop assuming the impossible. A human? Are you being delusional? You agreed to be my dummy for the rest of your life, didn't you? You are my doll or moreso, you were my doll."
"Oshi-san, please don't do this to me..."
The figure just slowly faded away from a white scene. The midnight black envelopes his surroundings, only a faint sound of his teach is heard.
"Farewell, Kagehira"
Mika desperately chases the fading light. He crawls in the darkness, stretching his arms for hope.
"Oshi-san, don't leave me... Oshi-san? Oshi-san! OSHI-SAN! SHU!"
He gasped so loudly and opened his eyes to a new scene. His Nazuna-nii is staring at him, trying to convince him.
"Mikachin, you're just hurting yourself, let him go, he's useless now"
"huh?"
His hands are holding a tray filled with tea and croissants. It was still fresh as the lovely smoke crawls beneath his nose. He looked back at his senior, then back to the breakfast.
"Let's just make a new unit and leave him be"
"What? No! I'll never leave Oshi-san alone"
In a blink of an eye, he's inside his dorm, with his roommate waving his hand to bring his senses back.
"Yahoo~ Kagehira-san... I said, I'm going out. Would you like to buy anything?"
"Sorry, Ritsu. I'm busy right now. I need to go back to my modeling agency. They've been finding me for a long time now and I can't hide any longer."
"Why did you hide from them anyway?"
He put his head down in sadness, looking on his fiddling hands.
"They've been putting me to this diet that I don't want. Oshi-san told me to take care of myself and I have to eat a lots because he said I'm a bag of bones. I don't want to disappoint him"
"Mikachan, you poor thing. I know what it feels like, restricting the food you eat... I really wanted to try the desserts on the bakeshop. Didn't Itsukichan love the croissants there?"
Mika quickly raised his head in surprise. He was excited somehow.
"Naruchan , you remembered! Oshi-san love those fer sure... Where is he anyway?"
"Uhmm... Mikachan , didn't you remember...?"
"Huh? Remember what?"
"I don't know if I should say it... But uhm... Itsukichan already abandoned you..."
His heterochrome eyes dilated and suddenly everything looks distorted, like an unfinished gouache portrait. Their voices started muffling until it just sounds like a television with no signal. The loud pattering noise had died down and loud whispers whisper.
Mika tried to look for anything, but it was nothing but darkness. He can't even see himself from the pits of black. He started running in hopes of going to somewhere safe but it was hopeless to do so. He felt like he isn't even moving from his spot at all.
The whispers become chatters. It's more audible now. He can hear the insults he had received, all the praises for his eyes, the never-ending talk of his bosses, the sound of the cameras clicking, the fans that cheers for him.
He crouched down and covered his ears. Trying to make the sound disappear.
"Stop! Stop! Please, leave me alone. I don't want to hear anything!" he cried loudly but the chattering just got louder.
One voice has overpowered the cacophonic darkness, his Oshi-san. But his heart only sunk when he heard him.
"Kagehira, I'm leaving Valkyrie"
Mika loudly gasps for air, kicking his foot hard, waking up from another fever dream or should he say, a nightmare. Tears formed in the corner of his eyes, until it was enough to just slide down his pale face. He silently sobs with the pain he felt.
"Kagehira!" Nazuna rushed to his side when he had just arrived at the room. He hugged him and gently caressed Mika's head, shushing him down.
Few minutes passed; Mika already drained his eyes. He looked around and see the unfamiliar place. It took him a while to realize that he's not in his apartment.
"Are you okay now? I took you here unnoticed. I visited your apartment because 'Jimechin asked me to bring you his gift because he's still busy. But when I arrived, I saw you almost lifeless on the floor and immediately called for paramedics. I really thought you were dead, you scared me." Nazuna just spoke right away, nervously and relievedly chuckling.
Mika slightly stretched his painful dextrosed hand. He look at his friend.
"Nazuna-nii... Where's Oshi-san?"
Nazuna was taken by surprise. Mika's heart started to race just by Nazuna's reaction but he wouldn't let it get into him. This is now the reality after all. Mika's heart just pumped faster and faster. Nervous to what he's big bro's about to say next. He has already woken up, didn't he?
"Well... Itsuki called earlier on your phone while I was waiting for the ambulance to arrive and uhmm... This isn't the right time to say it-- "
"Please, I want to know"
"Well... How would I say this..."
The anxiety has reached Mika's head, waiting of what words to come out of his mouth. His head is hurting so bad, his heartbeat is too loud, his sight is blacking out again everything sounds loud and quiet at the same time. A single tear rolled down his cheek.
"I'm sorry Kagehira"
He blankly stared at his hand. Nazuna left him as he wished for some alone time.
He sobbed and broke down here and there. So, he was right... That's why his Oshi-san rarely contacted him. That's why he's always on "uncontactable seminars". That's why he grew anxious, waiting for his Oshi-san to respond to him. That's why he couldn't remember the last time they called. He had been using his work as an excuse for distraction and now that the truth has surfaced, he felt numbed. How will he recover from this. He couldn't. He knows he can't.
He lied down on the bed, pondering where went wrong.
"He sounded hurrying, but he clarified that he's withdrawing from Valkyrie and the papers has already been passed to CosPro. I'm sorry Kagehira"
Sob after sob. Painful tears streamed.
"Maybe I should just rest..." He quietly thought and closed his eyes.