Chapter Text
Red held so many meanings.
Love. Heartbreak.
Health. Bleeding.
Courage. Cowardice.
Kaveh was well aware of the truths one simple color held. At one point, he had held it in high regard, embraced its meaning and filled his soul with the bold and brashness red was able to provide. And yet, like all things in his life, it turned into something dragging him down. Killing him.
A sob wracked his body as the muscles in his throat continued to constrict. Fleshy walls scratched from course ridges of petals scraping against the violent shudders of his coughing. The sink in front of him was once a lovely and pristine shade of white, but all he could see was red. Red blood stained the porcelain. Red petals stained with red blood sat in the red bowl. Red. Red. RED. RED . RED .
His fingernails cracked dangerously as he gripped the sides of the sink, shuddering from the after effects of such a strong attack of the disease that had plagued him for as far back as he could remember. He chuckled as he stared down at the all too familiar petals resting innocently, speckled with flecks of his blood.
How ironic that he’d be plagued by the flowers of mourning when he knew all too well that there existed not a soul who’d mourn for him.
Perhaps it was his traitorous body’s sick way of mourning for the self it was destroying.
“Fucking. Alhaitham.” He muttered bitterly, cracking a wry grin. “Bastard. You’re going to kill me. And you won’t even know. Fucking… serves you right…” His knees buckled, slamming him flat onto the bathroom floor. His grip failed and he all but collapsed entirely into a pitiful ball of shaky limbs and panting breaths.
He can’t be entirely certain how long it took to shift the pieces of himself back into their rightful place. The bathroom he squirreled himself away in didn’t have any windows to show the movement of the sun, or in this case, the moon, after all, it was far past midnight when his latest attack slammed into him like a charging sumpter beast. In similar taste, he can’t help but wonder if his vital organs were in quite the same position as they were only a day ago.
His legs shook the entire time he clambered back to a proper standing position. He groaned as he looked at the mess he left in the sink. No doubt it’d take far too much strength than what his arms could handle mustering to even attempt to clean any of it. Glaring and muttering a few curses, he picked up the flowers and disposed of them. The blood could be explained away if Alhaitham happened to stumble across it in the morning. The flowers… would be far more complicated. And he would take no chances Alhaitham would happen to know about hs predicament. He would be taking that particular secret to the grave with him.
Even if it was causing him to march forward towards said grave in a steady rhythm with each passing day.
With shaky steps, he cautiously followed the well worn path down the hallway to his room, avoiding the creaky spots and using the wall as a hold for his undistributed weight that was teetering on the edge between upright and tangled in a lumpy mess of limbs on the floor. It was unfortunate that Alhaitham didn’t sleep with those Archons damned soundproof earpieces that gave him apt reasoning to ignore any passerbys on the streets that tried to strike up conversation. He learned that one the hard way a year or so after he started leaving with the bastard.
That particular attack of his affliction had been the hardest yet. It had left him a sobbing, wretched mess unable to place the puzzle pieces back in their rightful spots even after a full hour of cowering on the tile floor of the bathroom. Specks of blood trickled down the side of his mouth. Beads of sweat formed along his brow and drenched his blond strands of hair only half-hazardly pulled up to prevent anything from getting stuck there.
He stumbled when he tried to stand, tripping over his own two feet as if he was a toddler just learning how to walk. The resulting slam into the sink knocked the breath out of him once more and brought out a keen of a whine from the depths of his vocal chords.
With blurry vision and fumbling bodily appendages, he made it out of the bathroom and into the hallway, shoulder checking a wall in his efforts to not tumble. He wasn’t sure what had caused such a vicious onslaught of throat ripping flowers to be choked up his esophagus. Usually it was an obvious tell; a bickering match leading to a reminder of what once was, bringing a longing for what could have been. Or perhaps a small act of kindness, usually draped in words of sarcasm and dripping in venom of cruelty, yet laced with the saccharine sweetness of a favorite coffee brand being remembered.
That day held nothing of the sort. In fact, he hadn’t even seen hide nor hair of Alhaitham once the entire day. If he didn’t know the man so well he would say he had been avoiding Kaveh. Unfortunately for both his mental and physical health, Kaveh knew the gray haired man quite well, and he knew that no matter the circumstances he would never stoop so low as to purposefully avoid anyone. Even if they were his loud and rambunctious roommate who he only mildly tolerated for the sake of collecting rent.
He glanced up as the creak of an opening door shifted his resignation to an immense panic. He hastily wiped the side of his mouth, hoping the copper stain would come off or at the very least, be unnoticeable in the dim lighting.
Eventually, Alhaitham's figure appeared in the doorway, silently frowning down at Kaveh's figure. All he could do was stare back, preparing himself for the bitching about waking him up in the middle of the night to start.
"Your hair is a mess," was all Alhaitham said instead of the vicious complaints Kaveh expected.
"Apologies for not living up to your perceived notions of how my hair should be styled," he ground out. "Why are you awake?" He finally asked. Surely if Kaveh had woken him up he would have already said something about it.
"I don't wear my soundproof earpieces to bed, you know. And you're loud." Ah. So it was his fault. What else did he expect?
"I'll be sure to reduce my volume next time, your highness." All he could do was hope his sarcasm would cause Alhaitham to not look any closer and start noticing more than he probably already had.
"I'm not royalty, there's no reason to call me by any title." Kaveh rolled his eyes, but ultimately Alhaitham walked back into his room, leaving him only grateful at how utterly oblivious his roommate was.
Kaveh slumped into his desk chair, staring at the abandoned plans for the job he had just accepted earlier that day. He had yet to tell Alhaitham about it, and he likely would never get the chance with how all of their conversations lately seemed to end up turning into shouting matches. He wasn’t sure what exactly was Alhatiham’s problem, but the man had been even more bastardly than normal, and it was ruining his own health dammit! He deserved a respite! How was he supposed to work in these conditions?!
He sighed and gathered his materials back into a semi-orderly situation on the too small desk. The team would be heading out in under a week. He’d have plenty of time to tell his stubborn roommate about his extended absence and even give the man his rent money on time for the month. Something he would never have been able to do without taking on this job.