Chapter Text
The fear only settled in after a few seconds. Trying to hide his shaky fingers, Hongjoong processed what he had just heard. Someone had bid on him and apparently quite a lavish sum. So high in fact that the carer in front of him had gotten glossy eyed being told.
The look on the carer’s face now managed to spike his fear and he tried to keep a neutral facial expression. Don’t let them see, don’t be weak.
This one wouldn’t be much of a threat anyway. He only liked to assert dominance with a few hits here and there. Calm down Hongjoong.
He also didn’t need to worry about his scent as the scent neutralizers pumped through the ventilation in this room were having the useful side effect of erasing his scent and any kind of indicator to how he might be feeling.
With a tight grip on his arm he was led out of the room and into the bathing facility. To be prepared he guessed, resignation spreading through his body still stiff with fear.
At least he would be able to leave this shit hole, he mused, not at all looking forward to what would wait for him now.
As he was sprayed down with cold water, he contemplated his options. So the person who bought him was rich which meant they valued certain… traditions. And as a rare male omega, this was probably the reason he had been bought in the first place. This could be used to his advantage.
Hongjoong appreciated how the cold water seemed to kick start his brain back into thinking more clearly after the initial shock of hearing he was being sold had passed. A rich buyer wasn’t actually that bad. It also meant that he wouldn’t be his first or even his only omega.
Maybe he would only be needed to produce an heir or to be part of a bragging harem, which wouldn’t be his worst prospect. The buyer could only fuck so many omegas at once and at least he wouldn’t be alone…
The arrival of two additional carers instantly pulled him out of his own head. Anxiously awaiting the next step, Hongjoong tried not to fidget. This would only result in punishment and he certainly didn’t want to end up getting one when he was so close to being finally able to leave this place.
The faces of the newly arrived carers didn’t look familiar so Hongjoong carefully observed their hands. They moved with efficiency, quick and thorough, which made him relax a bit. Not of the overly violent kind then. They applied some sort of lotion on his body. He couldn’t make out what it was, only tha his skin prickled a bit. Was it to cover up his scent?
That made sense. So he would probably be made ready to be presented to his… owner? The word managed to make him flinch slightly before he had himself under control again. He hadn’t expected this to be his future but to be fair he hadn’t expected to make it this far anyway. He would just roll with the punches, he told himself.
Anywhere was better than this dead end.
_ _ ____________ _ _
Park Seonghwa was a composed man, usually. Yet nothing could have prepared him for the phone call he was having at the moment.
“You did what?”
“We bought him this morning! I know you prefer men, of course and he has amazing genes, his pedigree actually…”
Seonghwa couldn’t believe what he was hearing. An omega? A bought one?
He wasn’t listening when his mother listed off the apparently great qualities of his possible new mate, newly acquired at a silent auction this morning.
He knew his parents had been planning something but he hadn’t quite managed to find out beforehand. And now he would have to deal with the whole aftermath of whatever his parents deemed to be the right thing for him.
His parents had made it painfully clear that he would be expected to present an heir sooner than later if he wanted to prove himself as the successor of the family company. All the previous attempts to set him up had failed quite spectacularly and his family had gotten more and more impatient with him.
Trying to present them with the idea of a platonic partnership with one of his more respectable friends and a case of adoption hadn’t quite made it to the finish line when his parents had beaten him to it with their idea instead. By buying an omega, apparently.
“Seonghwa, are you listening? You need to tell me so I can inform the care center. Do you want to go get him right now or should they send him to your apartment for you to try out tonight?”
There was a moment of silence as Seonghwa tried to process the information he had just gotten. He needed to make this decision right now and he wouldn’t be able to postpone or avoid this any longer. Nausea rose in him at the prospect of meeting the person he had just… bought.
His instincts yelled at him to avoid and tell his mother to send him to his apartment for later tonight, to prolong the meeting as much as possible, but his rationale intervened just in time.
“No mother, I will deal with this right now. Just send me the address. I will meet… him right away.”
Seonghwa’s voice sounded strangely removed from himself, as if he wasn’t the one talking. Better to get this over with as soon as possible and then deal with the consequences.
He heard his mother emphasize some meaningless phrases of how excited she was for him to start a new chapter of his life but to be honest he wasn’t listening anymore. His head was turning with all the possible outcomes of what he was about to do.
What if he hated him? Oh, he most definitely hated him. Seonghwa had no idea what exactly was taking place at these care centers for omegas. He only knew that many of these omegas weren’t there out of their own volition, which only made Seonghwa’s situation so much worse.
Why did his parents think this would be a good idea? He had already declined all of his willing potential bonding mates, how did they think a non consensual bonding would work for him? He had to remind himself that his parents viewed him differently. He was an alpha, of course he would take any omega gifted to him, willing or not.
Thoughts of the awaiting, bought omega he was about to meet and his parents’ forced decision alternated in his head as he left his office and went straight to the car. As if on auto pilot he directed his driver to take him to the address of the care center his mother had sent him.
He needed a plan. He couldn’t just go there unprepared. Someone had to clean up this mess and Seonghwa was in a better position to do so right now.
A strange sense of responsibility overcame Seonghwa at the thought of the omega’s situation right now. He would be scared for sure, being handed over like cargo and treated like a… thing. Yes, this guy had more than enough reasons to hate him and Seonghwa wouldn’t blame him for a second.
In an attempt to mentally prepare himself for the worst, Seonghwa closed his eyes.
_ _ ____________ _ _
Hongjoong tried not to show his nervousness as he sat back on his heels. The carers had instructed him to kneel down and had left the room. He had actually never been here before. It was decorated with elegant furniture but otherwise very minimalistic. Hongjoong could pick up the faint scent of the couch in front of him. He still wasn’t able to make out his own scent on his skin but that was probably the result of that cream they had put on him before.
The pants he was wearing started to itch again. He wasn’t used to clothes anymore. From the moment he had arrived in this care center, he had been either naked or covered by the heavy blanket in his cot. Clothes weren’t something granted to him here. Nothing more humiliating and controlling than stripping him of his right to be clothed. Maybe his new owner wouldn’t let him wear clothes either so it wouldn’t be much different.
He just hoped this person wasn’t as much of an enthusiast of scent neutralizers as this place. He missed his own scent or any other for that matter.
Once again, he tried to level out his mind, erase all the anxious thoughts in head.
Don’t let them see, don’t be weak.
When the door handle on his right side made a noise, Hongjoong dropped his upper body again, getting in position.
He heard the voice of the female carer first.
“Right this way, sir. Please take a seat”
The clacking of elegant dress shoes could be heard next and Hongjoong could make out how someone walked past him to the couch.
So it was a male alpha.
Hongjoong tried to take in the information as neutrally as possible. It wasn’t like all male alphas were cruel but he definitely had worse experiences with them. Nothing he wasn’t able to deal with though, he told himself.
Don’t let them see, don’t be weak.
Trying to soothe his own nerves, Hongjoong almost missed what was happening next.
The female carer had started talking to his buyer in a low voice, something about his secondary gender he wasn’t able to hear fully. He wasn’t stupid enough to lift his head but his curiosity almost got the better of him when he heard the man speak.
His voice was low and gentle. Hongjoong couldn’t make out any resentment or revulsion. It almost sounded… nervous? What would he be nervous about? After they seemed to have exchanged some more details the female carer addressed Hongjoong with a stern: “Omega! Sit up!”
Hongjoong straightened his upper body, his head still lowered. He was determined to play by the rules this time. He didn’t intend to gamble with the chance of leaving this hell hole once and for all. His posture was rewarded with a satisfied hum from the carer, though his buyer stayed silent.
After a few nerve wrecking seconds, in which Hongjoong helplessly stared at his knees, the man finally talked:
“Look up, please.”
Hongjoong followed the instruction mindlessly, holding onto the kind tone of his voice. His gaze landed directly on his buyer, who stared back at him with big eyes. That was the first thing he noticed about him. His eyes.
They were round, soft and gentle .
His mind scrambled to try and make him look at the man's posture or his expensive, tailored suit. Anything that would give him a hint about his character but he couldn’t tear himself away from his gaze, eyes locked on his. There was a slight air of surprise to his buyer’s features, which Hongjoong didn’t quite know how to read.
His face was beautiful, his well-kept hair making him look soft more so than fierce. He was unlike any alpha Hongjoong had ever seen.
The man‘s body on the couch shifted suddenly.
Was he… scared?
He couldn’t help himself. Trying to provoke a stronger reaction, Hongjoong’s gaze intensified.
_ _ ____________ _ _
Seonghwa had tried to brace himself for many different scenarios but he was entirely unequipped to deal with what was in front of him, or rather who .
The omega was on his knees, hands behind his back and staring directly into his eyes with a daring look on his face. His mouth curled up slightly, defiance clearly visible now.
Seonghwa's eyes became even bigger. He was stunned by the striking features of the person kneeling in front of him. Despite the scowl on his face and the short choppy hair, it was obvious that the omega looked… beautiful.
A few seconds passed without neither of them saying a word until the lady next to him yelled:
“11-17! head down!”
Seonghwa winced at the lady’s harsh voice but composed himself in a heartbeat. The lady made further attempts to get closer to the man, who had immediately dropped his head again, when Seonghwa raised his hand in a casual manner.
He was about to say something when the lady started apologizing:
“Master Park, I apologize sincerely for this omega’s behavior, we assure you he has been trained with the utmost precision-”
Seonghwa waved his hand to stop her monologue. He didn’t want to hear whatever she had to say. Although it confirmed that his imagination hadn’t played tricks on him. He had just been stared down by an omega on his knees and it shouldn’t have intrigued him the way it did. After all, it was a highly offensive act on its own.
With the calmest voice he could muster, Seonghwa spoke:
“Step away from him.”
The lady was quiet for a second before she took a step back and added:
“Of course, Master Park. Please impose any punishment you see fit for this insolent behavior, we have only seen positive results with certain penalties in fact. If I may suggest them to the young Master Park, I would be more than pleased to help.”
Seonghwa couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing. He let his hand drop onto the couch with a low thud. The noise caused the omega on his knees to flinch ever so slightly. Seonghwa wouldn’t have noticed it, if he hadn’t focused his attention onto him at that exact moment.
He had seen enough. He needed to get out of here, preferably with the shaking person in front of him. The thought of the omega being scared of him made his guts churn and he felt his emotions boiling over.
Remembering his training in etiquette he straightened his suit jacket and took a deep breath. With his most assertive voice he smiled at the woman and added:
“I will deal with this when I am back in my apartment. Please prepare him for departure. I was told there was some paperwork for me to sign?”
The lady was still standing next to him and if she had any objections, she thought better of it than to bring it up to one of her highest paying clients.
“Of course, right this way please.”
She opened the door behind her and pointed to the reception at the other side of the hallway. The omega hadn’t raised his head again and was instead unmoving to the point Seonghwa doubted he was still breathing at all.
He got up, careful not to make any sound that would tip the omega off and before he left the room past the lady, he muttered:
“If I see as much as a small bruise on my omega’s body after he is brought to my car I will make sure you will lose your job and not find another one in your lifetime.”
He stopped to look back at the omega on the floor and then back at her.
“Did I make myself clear?”
He hadn’t intended the low growl to come out but he guessed it just emphasized the warning he wanted to deliver. After the woman nodded, clearly intimated, he walked through the hallway in the direction of the reception. His head was spinning with whatever had just happened in that room. He knew the care centers were somewhat like correctional facilities and used common methods of behavioral training but he felt naive to be shocked at the fact that they used violent practices and threats to punish their omegas systematically.
Recalling the way the omega had reacted, Seonghwa didn’t want to think about the detailed acts of penalties he had endured. In hindsight he realized that the omega had been equally as scared of Seonghwa as he had been of that woman.
It took all of his mental training not to stop in his tracks and run back to the room to tell the defiant yet shaking figure that he wasn’t going to punish him, ever. That this wasn’t even in his nature, that he couldn’t imagine inflicting pain on someone and enjoying it. He- he was getting ahead of himself, wasn’t he?
The paperwork was the only thing distracting him enough to keep going. He had to find a way to prove to this guy that he wasn’t the devil incarnate.
_ _ ____________ _ _
Hongjoong held his breath until he heard the clack of the dress shoes subside.
That was close.
He hadn’t intended for it to go this far but at least he hadn’t been punished. Not yet. The alpha had said he would deal with him in his apartment. Whatever that meant.
He actually hadn’t expected his buyer to react the way he had. Sure, punishing him himself could be a preference. But he had sounded too… unsure, too soft for punishment. There wasn’t any complacency or hatred in his voice when he had talked to the female carer.
Of course Hongjoong knew the truly evil ones were able to conceal themselves until they showed their real face. Maybe he would only experience his sadistic mood when they were alone. He didn’t want to think about that now. There was another important observation that had made him think.
When the alpha had refused to take the female carer’s suggestions, Hongjoong had realized that whatever punishments his buyer could think of they couldn’t possibly be as bad as the ones he was receiving here.
After years of being confined in this place, they had found almost every weak spot of his. They were insistent on utilizing each weakness to his disadvantage. Every single time.
Hongjoong had made too many mistakes, shown too many of his vulnerabilities in the past. He wouldn’t let that happen again.
His mind was buzzing with this new circumstance when he was called to get up to be taken out of the room. After all this time they hadn’t managed to fully break him and he wasn’t going to make it any easier for his new owner.
Hongjoong’s clothes rustled around his legs as he was led through hallways he had never been granted access to before. The pants started to unnerve him. They were made to be opened in an instant and Hongjoong knew the exact reason for it all too well. Fast access and all. The clothes were really just for propriety.
The female carer hadn't said a word since they had left the room. Not that he was complaining. When they reached a set of elevators, they were welcomed by two other carers, who seemed to get ready for something.
His heart sank. What if they had thought of one last thing to make sure he was behaving? After all, he hadn't been given to his new owner quite yet. Nothing of that sort happened. They just pulled him by the arms to flank him as they were riding to the bottom floor Hongjoong assumed.
No one said a word. Not even the female carer, which started to make him nervous. She was usually very vicious with her words. He had learned long ago how to shield himself from them, with the right mental preparation, that was.
The carers' hands on him weren't even grabbing with their usual strength, which really made him nervous. No bruising, no wandering hands. By the time they reached the underground garage, Hongjoong was so on edge it was hard to control his hands from trembling too much, his nerves betraying him.
The car looked shiny and expensive, as if he didn't need another reminder of how rich his new owner was. Hongjoong reminded himself to stay alert. He couldn't lose focus now. Maybe his buyer didn’t want his body to be overly damaged. It should stay untouched. Pure. So he could take it out on him personally. He definitely needed to steel himself for whatever was to come. The car door was opened for him and in the next second he was enclosed by the vehicle and its scent.
The scent.
Hongjoong instantly put his hand over his nose but to no avail. It was going straight to his head. He hadn’t taken into account how the pheromones would affect him after spending the last few days in a completely odorless area.
Pheromones were one of the harder things to protect himself from. Not only did they cloud his brain, they also meddled with his body, making him slow and drowsy. Only then did he notice the scent of heavy, dark vanilla in the air. What an unusual scent for an alpha. The scent neutralizers had done their job to cover up any kind of pheromones from the alpha before so Hongjoong didn’t actually know his scent. Was this even his scent?
Focus Hongjoong!
The stark contrast of his tense body, trying to brace himself for the upcoming confrontation with the alpha, while the pheromones started to work their way through him like a muscle relaxant, overwhelmed his conflicted brain.
Don't let them see. Don't be weak. Breathe.
Hongjoong closed his eyes and tried to regain control of his panicked mind. This wasn't the first time he had to fight pheromones. It was only the unfamiliar scent that threw him off. That was all.
Desperately holding onto the knowledge that he had overcome other moments he had been in a pheromone polluted room, he focused all of his attention on the fine leather linings of the backseat beneath him, grounding his senses in the texture of it.
_ _ ____________ _ _
Taking the last steps to his car, Seonghwa took a deep breath. Signing the papers to own this omega had taken more out of him than he dared to admit.
Seonghwa simply never thought of himself as someone who would make use of such… practices. He knew it was legal and quite common in rich circles but the thought of owning a person had always put him off of thinking about it any further.
He knew his friends San and Wooyoung had a contract that stated Wooyoung technically belonged to San but only because it had made it easier for their bonding to be recognized, as they had said.
His hand froze on the car door handle when he realized that he needed to tell his friends at some point about suddenly having an omega living with him. Seonghwa shook his head dismissively. He had more important things to think about right now, like what he’d do with said omega at his place.
For now he would need a place to stay, so the guest room seemed to be the best choice for now. And then what? He didn’t even know his name! They needed to talk. Yes, talking would help. Now that was problem solving at its finest. He mainly wanted to let him know he wouldn't do anything against his consent.
But first, they needed to get out of here.
Without pondering much further he opened the car door and sat down. The sight he was greeted with couldn’t have been more discouraging. The omega was sitting tensely in his seat, looking straight ahead, his breathing shallow.
With his attention fully on the omega next to him, Seonghwa absentmindedly gave his driver the order to take them home.
He just about stopped himself from reaching out of the seats to touch him. Looking at him with sincerity, he said softly:
"My name is Seonghwa and I'm- are you cold?"
The question slipped out without him intending to. The omega was shaking slightly, still avoiding his gaze. Looking down Seonghwa noticed he wasn't wearing shoes. Of course he wasn't.
His hand was already fumbling with the heating knob when he added:
"I am sorry, I didn't realize! Let me turn up the temperature a bit."
There was no visible reaction on the omega face to be read but his body seemed to tense up even more, as if he was scared of Seonghwa's voice.
He tried again:
"I really don't want to- It's not like that! Let me take you to my apartment and we can talk, okay?"
No reaction once again, other than maybe the tiniest wince.
Way to go Park Seonghwa.
Despite his best efforts he seemed to upset him more with everything he said or did.
Frustrated, Seonghwa let out a sigh. He didn't want to make the omega think he would treat him authoritatively and it surely wasn't the way he had wanted to start their conversation. He cleared his throat to add:
"Look at me, please."
The omega's head turned to him and Seonghwa never hated being right more than at this moment. Right on the beat, like a robot.
His eyes weren't as focused on him like they had been back in the room where they first met and they were lacking the same fire. Actually they seemed to look a bit glossy, like he was-
"Oh fuck, oh no! I am so sorry. I didn't mean to- I didn't realize my scent is all over the car and this clearly affects you. Wait let me-"
He stopped himself from talking. With shaky fingers he opened the window a bit, hoping for the fresh air to dilute his scent. This was honestly embarrassing. But he really didn't know what else to do. His pheromones were going on a rampage in the car, harassing the poor omega.
Tentatively Seonghwa smelled the air to make himself aware of his scent when he noticed that he couldn't make out any other scent. He only smelled his admittedly very potent smell of vanilla.
He had no idea what was happening.
Had they done something to the omega's pheromones? Was he on meds? They hadn't mentioned anything specifically. Not for the first time today Seonghwa felt helpless.
Well, he could ask but he doubted he would get an enlightening answer. Besides, it would be very rude to ask. He knew the situation was a bit out of the ordinary but he still wanted to keep up a sense of decency. The omega probably didn't even know-
Trying not to go down another spiral of asking himself what he must have gone through, Seonghwa stopped himself. Name first. He really didn't want to continue calling him 'omega'. Even in his head it sounded wrong and disrespectful.
Looking at him again, Seonghwa noticed how his face had changed into a slight frown, his unfocused eyes still on him.
Seonghwa looked back at him earnestly.
"What is your name?"
The silence was almost demeaning. The omega looked away from him again and clamped his lips together, as if to show how he was purposefully trying to withhold it. So he didn't want to tell him. Great.
But could he really blame him? In his books Seonghwa was probably a super villain.
Seonghwa sighed again. This wasn't going well at all and they hadn't even made it to his place yet. When they finally arrived, Seonghwa was ready to throw hands with his parents, the people at that damn care center and everyone who had gotten them into this situation.
_ _ ____________ _ _
The car came to a stop somewhere underground again and Hongjoong tried not to fidget with his hands.
He was nervous, dazed from the pheromones and very confused. Whatever had happened since they had entered the car had made everything more complicated. Any perception he might have had about this alpha, Seonghwa, had been thrown out the window and Hongjoong just couldn't figure out how to interact with him going forward.
Like who was this alpha? What did he want? What did he want from him ? Why was he talking to him like this?
Of course Hongjoong knew these kinds of alphas who played nice in the beginning. They were all soft and caring, luring you in with a false sense of security until you let down your guard and they had you in the palm of their hand to do whatever they wished to do with you.
But Seonghwa wasn't like that. He lacked the confidence, the persuasion, anything that would give him an ulterior motive. Did he wanna fuck him? Make him his slave? Use him as a punching bag? Hongjoong just couldn't see through Seonghwa's intentions which made his brain go into overdrive.
Breathe, Hongjoong.
He couldn’t allow himself to make mistakes now. He had to make sure not to give him any kind of information he could use against him. Like his name. Did he really think he could get it out of him that easily? Maybe he had thought it would be a walk in the park with all the pheromones. Well, he had assumed wrong.
It was probably a short-lived victory, Hongjoong knew. But if Seonghwa underestimated him to this extent, he could hold out.
The car door on Hongjoong’s side opened with a low clunk that managed to scare him. He hadn’t even realized Seonghwa had left the car but he was standing outside now, looking at him expectantly. His first mistake.
Gritting his teeth, Hongjoong swiftly got out of the car, trying not to let on how his head was spinning with all the possible scenarios. Don’t let him see. Don’t be weak.
Only now did he notice that Seonghwa was taller than him. It wasn’t much and it wasn’t like it changed anything but Hongjoong certainly didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of looking up at him. So he kept his head down and focused on Seonghwa’s polished shoes.
The alpha cleared his throat again to get his attention.
“Follow me”
He sounded colder than before. Was he changing tactics? Hongjoong kept his eyes trained towards the ground. He’d keep observing his behavior and file it away for later. Seonghwa turned around and took firm steps towards a dark door at the other end of the underground garage. Hongjoong obliged immediately without hesitation. At least things were moving along now and he could follow simple instructions.
Walking a few steps behind him, Hongjoong started observing him. The neatly tailored suit accentuated his posture and made him look confident and elegant, alpha-like. So unlike that soft spoken person from back in the car. Hongjoong's brain struggled to make the connection. This had to be a trick. He didn’t trust it for a second.
They arrived at the door that turned out to be an elevator. Seonghwa stepped inside and left space for him to follow suit. He felt Seonghwa’s gaze on him but Hongjoong kept his eyes firmly fixed on the door closing, not wanting to give him that satisfaction.
The elevator started moving and Hongjoong took a breath. The apartment would be a closed space, alpha territory, where it was very likely that he would show his true colors. The really bad ones never missed an opportunity to demonstrate their power over him.
Maybe there was another omega already present but Hongoong doubted that. Not with how he treated him. Seonghwa seemed to be extremely inexperienced interacting with… bought omegas. Hongjoong swallowed. That was him now. A purchase.
Hongjoong tried not to feel disheartened by the realization that he was in fact a bought omega now. This apartment might be the only place he would ever know in the future, this alpha being his only contact. He struggled not to let his emotions show and looked up only to be blinded by bright daylight.
The elevator's back wall was made of glass so Hongjoong could see across the cityscape which was getting smaller the more they were going up. The sun was just about to set behind the buildings further away which caused him to squint his eyes instinctively due to the brightness.
Hongjoong didn’t remember the last time he had seen natural daylight. The sun was mesmerizing. He couldn’t help but continue to stare at the sight in front of him, any other thought wiped from his mind. Everything was doused in the deep amber of the sun with the occasional glinting reflecting the distant skyscrapers in the background.
He knew he was staring but he was too stunned to react to the rational part of his mind telling him to get it together. How could he not be hypnotized by that fascinating view?
When he turned his head to the side to take in more of the scenery he noticed he was being watched by Seonghwa, who was smiling at him. Hongjoong glared back, irritated at being caught off guard but the alpha just lowered his gaze, the smile still clearly visible on his lips.
“It’s a nice view, isn’t it? You can look at it more once we have reached the top. We are almost there.”
The information didn’t fully register in Hongjoong’s brain. He would get to see that in the apartment too? There was only a beat before he composed himself again. Seonghwa was now aware of how he had looked at the sunlight and liked it. This was going to be used against him, fuck.
When the elevator doors opened behind them, Seonghwa kept looking at him, a light frown on his face had replaced the persistent smile.
“It’s okay, follow me, I’ll show you around.”
With that, he stepped out and Hongjoong hesitantly stayed in place.
Stay calm Hongjoong, don’t let him see, don’t be weak.
Seonghwa looked over his shoulder and added quietly:
“Come on, nothing will happen to you here.”
He sounded pleading, like he really wanted to make him believe these words. Once again, Hongjoong was taken aback by the alpha’s way of speaking. The nice ones usually didn’t plead or sound insecure. When they said things like It’s going to be fine, you’re safe now, nothing will happen to you , it definitely sounded more convincing. Hongjoong had always imagined the words being used like the threads of spiders enwrapping their prey until he was firmly held in place and ready to be devoured.
Seonghwa’s tone didn’t match these words, though. Confusion crept its way back into Hongjoong’s mind. He followed him out of the elevator and entered a minimalistic decorated in shining dark furniture and white walls that had a warm tint to them at the moment due to the natural light coming in through the large windows at the end of the hallway.
Hongjoong picked up on the heavy scent of vanilla again but it appeared to be… calmer, sweeter. Interestingly, this time Hongjoong wasn’t as affected by the pheromones even though the intensity still weighed heavily on his mind.
He tried not to lose sight of Seonghwa as he stepped around the corner into an open living space. Three walls were completely made out of windows and showed the entire city underneath them. Stairs led to an open second floor with high ceilings. The sun was radiating through the whole place, giving it a warm and gracious atmosphere.
Being able to see the view that had greeted him in the elevator gave Hongjoong a strange feeling of being grounded, feeling content, at peace. These were dangerous feelings though. They made him let his guard down, they made him weak, vulnerable.
Feeling nervous now, he quickly angled his head to find Seonghwa leaning against a counter behind him. Involuntarily, Hongjoong had taken a few steps past him and was now standing in the middle of the room. Unprotected, exposed.
This is it. The trap. He’s got me exactly where he wanted me.
He tried not to let it show on his face, how scared he was. Seonghwa’s expression didn’t indicate what was to come, only the fond smile from before could be found on his lips.
“Do you like it? It’s usually also pretty nice in the mornings.”
He took a step towards him and Hongjoong instinctively took one back. Seonghwa stopped in his tracks like he’d been hit. He lowered his head and Hongjoong tightened up. Had he done something wrong? Was that one step enough to set him off?
Anxiously Hongjoong waited for the eruption, the final crash of the kind facade, the literal blow to come. Nothing of the sort happened. Seonghwa just looked confused as he lowered his head and sighed.
“We need to talk about this. I don’t want to hurt you. Please understand that I would never intend to harm you or do anything against your will. I am not like them, I-”
Seonghwa raised his hand but seemed to think better of it and dropped it again, his beautiful features displaying a pained expression now. He swallowed and pointed next to him to one of the couches. Hongjoong’s eyes followed his arm mindlessly. His brain couldn’t catch up with what was happening.. The couch was a soft gray and looked expensive.
“Please sit down, I think it’s better if we talked over there.”
Neither of them moved. Was this a trick? Hongjoong couldn’t decipher the look on Seonghwa’s face, which still looked pained and concerned. In all of his time at the care center he had never been allowed to sit on couches or chairs when the carers were present. Why would Seonghwa tell him to sit down on that couch? What was his intention?
The alpha stalked forward and took a seat, looking at Hongjoong expectantly.
“Come here, It’s not like I will punish you.”
Hongjoong shrunk back at those words, visibly shaken by the sudden mention. Seonghwa instantly reacted and lifted his arms.
“I am serious, please believe me! I won’t do anything to you, I promise. Just sit down and let me talk.”
His voice had taken on a serious tone and his arms were still in front of him as if to show him what he meant. Hongjoong still didn’t understand. What did he want from him? Was this all an elaborate plan? He had honestly thought he had already walked into his trap. There would have been plenty of opportunities for Seonghwa to take what he wanted. Why would he make such a fuss about it?
As cautiously as one would approach a dangerous animal, Hongjoong took a step and then another, his focus not leaving Seonghwa’s pleading expression. This was becoming stranger by the second and Hongjoong still didn’t trust it, as he slowly walked over to the other side of the couch.
Seonghwa nodded slowly when Hongjoong eyed the space on the couch. Expecting to be told off and finally be put into place by the alpha, Hongjoong sat on the edge of the couch.
Nothing happened. Oddly enough, Seonghwa just smiled at him again. Now he was even more confused.
“Please listen to me. This has all been a mistake. I never wanted to buy you. I mean I would have never- My parents-”
Seonghwa sighed and put his hand on his face before starting again:
“I don’t think that’s what we should do, buying people. You should have never gone through all of this. I understand that you are scared right now, but you have to believe me. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. Do you understand me? Am I making any sense to you?”
What was Hongjoong supposed to say to that? Was that another test? He gave a slow nod, his eyes not leaving Seonghwa, whose face had become worried again.
“Do you want to tell me your name?”
His voice had turned breathy. Hongjoong couldn’t hide his surprise at the sudden question again. Giving out his name now would be foolish. Was Seonghwa just doing this to get his name? Letting him sit on the couch and telling him he wouldn’t hurt him, just to have leverage over him in his most vulnerable moments?
“Okay, okay, listen. How about this: I promise you I won’t do anything you don’t want me to do. I won’t touch you or command you to do anything. In order to be able to do that though you need to talk to me. You have to tell me what you want.”
Seonghwa’s arms had gone up again, as if to defend his case. It sounded reasonable in Hongjoong’s head, if only he could trust what was being said to be true. Why should he believe him? Because he hadn’t hit him once since they got here? Because he smiled at him or said ‘please’?
Hongjoong raised his head to look back at Seonghwa. What did he want from him? It would be easier if he knew Seonghwa was cruel or malicious. At least he would know how to handle him. This on the other hand just confused him. What was he supposed to do?
Seonghwa seemed surprised by Hongjoong’s sudden glare but didn’t say anything.
Back at the care center Hongjoong would have been in trouble already. He was sitting on a couch in the presence of an alpha he was currently scowling at.
Hongjoong was used to carers who just waited for the slightest misstep to immediately use it against him after but nothing of that sort happened here. Seonghwa just kept looking at him, as if he was waiting for him to say something.
Confused and defensive, Hongjoong scrunched up his face. He wouldn’t give Seonghwa the satisfaction of having lured him into this trap, whatever it was. And if he was going to be punished for it, at least then he would know what he was on about.
There was a short moment neither of them moved until Seonghwa sighed and got up.
“Alright, I will make us some food.”
He walked straight ahead to the other side of the room. The sky had gotten a bit darker in the meantime, causing the apartment to appear moodier and more quiet. Seonghwa entered the kitchen area with a cooking island and chairs. Everything looked very elegant and clean. Hongjoong was momentarily distracted by the view outside the window front again. Even in the more somber light, the sheer vastness of the view overwhelmed him. He could see almost as far as to the end of the city. Outside, he could see the outside.
The noise of Seonghwa opening cupboards and the fridge made Hongjoong’s focus shift to him again. He was standing in the kitchen without his suit jacket now, his sleeves rolled up showing his toned forearms and a knife in his hands. He didn’t seem to pay attention to him at the moment, being occupied with whatever he was preparing. He was working meticulously, cutting vegetables, his brows slightly furrowed in concentration.
Silently, Hongjoong got to his feet and took a few careful steps forward. When Seonghwa didn’t react, he got bolder and walked towards the windows next to the kitchen. He was mesmerized by all the little details he could now see being closer to the window. There were cars driving in the streets below, birds flying in the air and a plane passing by. A whole world was happening down there and Hongjoong was able to see it all. He couldn’t believe his luck. Even if this ended up being as horrible as the care center, at least he was able to see the outside here.
Seonghwa’s voice cut through his thoughts:
“Dinner’s done. Wanna sit down across from me?”
He gestured to the barstool seat in front of him with a bowl in front of it. Hongjoong hadn’t even noticed that Seongwha had finished cooking. Still apprehensive he strode to the chair, not leaving the alpha out of his sight. Just because he hadn’t gotten punished yet, didn’t mean that it couldn’t happen any minute.
The food smelled delicious and Hongjoong tried not to let on about how hungry he was. He hadn’t eaten food this morning because of the preparations and just had his usual ration of water instead.
Seonghwa gestured again to the plate with the food and added:
“I didn’t know what you usually eat or what you’ve eaten before so I made it a bit lighter. We don’t want to overwhelm your stomach. Please eat slowly.”
He was standing opposite him, leaning against the kitchen sink with his bowl in his hands. Hongjoong didn’t know how to proceed. Was he supposed to wait for the alpha to finish? Would all the food be for him? Why did everything feel like a test?
Eyes not leaving Seonghwa for a second, Hongjoong sat down and started eating. His hands moved on their own accord, making sure he got all of the nutrients into his body as fast as possible. Seonghwa’s eyes widened and he put down his own bowl quickly.
“Hey, slow down! At this rate you’re going to throw up, take care.”
Hongjoong looked up, not sure, whether he had finally made the mistake that would tip Seonghwa off but he just looked… concerned? Hongjoong frowned, bowl still in hand, unable to swallow the rice properly because he was waiting for something to happen. Seonghwa gesticulated again as he said:
“Please eat slowly, you’re going to get sick. You have all the time to eat. If you can’t finish the portion now you can eat later too.”
When Hongjoong didn’t say anything and moved the chopsticks at a slower pace towards his mouth, Seonghwa just smiled at him approvingly. He was now leaning on the kitchen island and had directed his full attention back on him. His eyes were clearly examining him but Hongjoong wasn’t scared. It seemed to be more out of curiosity than resentment. His face had taken on a more gentle expression again. How unusual.
“I will show you to your room afterwards. Today has been a long day for both of us. Let’s see what we will do tomorrow.”
It seemed like Hongjoong was supposed to voice his agreement but he had been hung up on the first sentence. His room? For a moment, he couldn’t fathom why Seonghwa would place him in another room and not in his own bed or at the foot of it. This must be a weird mind game Seonghwa was playing, maybe to see how far he could take it until Hongjoong broke. Once again, Hongjoong stayed silent. He had finished his meal in the meantime, feeling satiated enough for now. He could hold out like this, even if Seonghwa withheld his next meal.
Taking the bowl and putting it in the sink behind him, Seonghwa signaled for him to follow. Curiosity getting the best of him Hongjoong got out of his seat to walk past the stretch of windows down another hallway. Seonghwa already opened the door to a room when Hongjoong had caught up with him.
Skeptically, Hongjoong looked through the crack when Seonghwa chimed in:
“It’s not that big but it should have everything you need. The bathroom is to your right, I’ll leave you to yourself.”
Hongjoong’s head snapped up.
What?
Seonghwa looked back at him just as bewildered as he felt. The alpha’s hands were raised in defense again.
“I promise I’ll leave you alone. This space is yours. I won’t enter if you don’t want me to.”
Speechless, Hongjoong stepped into the room and looked around. It smelled less like vanilla, which he appreciated. There was a bed in the middle of it and furniture, clean and elegant like the rest of the apartment. A desk and a chair on one side, a closet and a drawer on the other side. The door to the bathroom Seonghwa had mentioned was closed.
Still confused, Hongjoong turned around to see Seonghwa standing in the doorway, an unreadable look on his face.
“Good night.”
He seemed like he wanted to add something but he just lowered his head before grabbing the door and silently closing it from the outside, leaving him alone in absolute silence.
Hongjoong didn’t know how long he was standing there, his rapidly beating heart the only thing to be heard.
This had to be a trap. Something to make him slip up. Maybe there were cameras, recording each and every single misstep so he could be punished methodically. There were none in the upper corners of the rooms but maybe they were hidden to give him a false sense of security. Slowly he walked up to the bed, checking underneath before moving on to the closet. He wasn’t able to detect anything no matter where he looked.
He made sure to avoid the free standing mirror in the corner. There was nothing worth seeing there. Trying not to make too much noise, Hongjoong started opening the drawers. None of them contained anything, except for the closet which had an extra set of blankets in them. With only one door left, he opened it hesitantly only to find a shining example of a bathroom almost as big as the room itself with a bathtub and a shower. Still no cameras, nothing.
Hongjoong noticed all the stress and anxiety catching up with him as he stifled a yawn. He needed to rest his body while he still had the chance to.
Eyeing the bed skeptically, he opted for the closet with the blankets inside instead. He wouldn’t risk making the rookie mistake of claiming the neatly made bed. The carers had made sure to drive it into him that beds weren’t meant for omegas and at this point he didn’t mind anymore. A soft bed wasn’t worth the punishment.
The chair caught his attention, right as he was about to open the door to the closet. Hongjoong knew this might get him in trouble but it would show Seonghwa where he was at and that he definitely wasn’t going to make it easy for him.Trying not to make a sound he stuck the chair underneath the door handle and tested it. It wouldn’t be a big obstacle, not for an alpha anyway, but at least he had done something for his peace of mind.
The closet was dark and cramped. It reminded him a bit of his sleeping corner in the care center but the blankets were much softer. He tucked his fingers underneath his shivering body and closed his eyes. This was going to be a long night.
_ _ ____________ _ _
To say Seonghwa was panicking was an understatement. For the past few minutes he had been pacing the living room as if he was running from something, frantically trying to make sense of the situation. The omega’s eyes, looking back at him defiantly, had burnt themselves into his mind. Seonghwa had tried to talk, tried to tell him that he wasn’t a threat, he didn’t need to fear harm from him. It was like he hadn’t even heard him though, every word seemed to roll off of him like droplets on a windshield. He had barely been able to hold back after that, even though he knew it wouldn’t make much sense to pressure him.
Huffing out a breath, Seonghwa mulled it over again. The omega seemed so fierce and bold at times only to shrink back into himself a moment later, observing Seonghwa with fearful eyes. And yet, seeing him staring at the city through the window, eyes big and wondrous, had made Seonghwa’s heart soar.
He didn’t want to imagine the reason he had been so fascinated by the view but he couldn’t help himself. Had he never seen the sky before? Seonghwa pushed the thoughts away, making his way to his suit jacket he had thrown over the counter, ignoring the dirty dishes for now.
Seonghwa knew he needed to talk to someone about this, maybe afterwards he would be able to think more clearly. Grabbing his phone he selected San’s number while walking up the stairs to his bedroom.
Wooyoung picked up after the third ring.
“Ssup’ bro?”
Seonghwa couldn’t help but smile at his informal greeting, at least this was familiar. He opened his mouth to talk and closed it again. How should he even start to explain the current situation? Staring at his bed in the middle of his room, he stuttered:
“T-there is an omega in my house, I don’t know what to do!”
He was greeted with a moment of silence on the other line, before he heard muffled laughter and San responding in a serious tone:
“Have you tried poking them with a broomstick? I am told they are quite peaceful when treated with care.”
Wooyoung started giggling, San soon joined in and Seonghwa was scrambling for an answer.
“No, I mean, my parents bought an omega and he is here now and I don’t know what to do because he is scared of me, fuck, he is so scared-”
He broke off. He hadn’t realized how breathless he sounded, short of a panic attack.
“Please guys, I need your help.”, he added in a small voice.
More silence. With trembling hands he opened his shirt collar. Why was it getting hard to breathe so suddenly?
It was Wooyoung who spoke first:
“Take a deep breath, hyung. Where is he now? Is he safe?”
Forcing himself to breathe through his nose, Seonghwa tried to wrap his mind around the questions to answer them as best as he could.
“Yes, he is in the guest room now. I panicked, I didn’t know what to do. I don’t even know his name! He doesn’t want to tell me.”
Wooyoung made a snorting sound but was cut off by San speaking:
“Hyung, calm down, hm? You said it yourself, he must be really scared right now. Do you have any info on him from… Where is he from?”
Seonghwa’s voice was drenched in scorn.
“My beloved mother thought it was a good idea to gift me an omega from a care center .”, he spat out, his panic being overtaken by anger momentarily.
“No wonder he is scared, hyung. You have no idea how they are treated there.” Wooyoung said quietly.
His tone was serious, too serious for San’s liking apparently because he heard a low whine, followed by a hush from Wooyoung and some murmured words of reassurance. Suddenly Seonghwa felt bad that he had just barged in without considering his friends’ situation. He knew Wooyoung hadn’t had it easy before he had met San but they had never elaborated on what he had gone through exactly.
Now Seonghwa felt even worse, knowing he might have triggered some things unknowingly and set on to apologize, when San beat him to it.
“Hyung, listen, it’s important to give him enough space now. If he doesn’t want to talk, don’t force him. Has he eaten yet? Did he have clothes with him? Make sure he drinks enough water!”
Seonghwa tried to grasp the importance of the information given to him, as the words rang in his head. Food? Yes, he had made sure of that. Good. Clothes? Well his feet were still bare and the thin shirt hung off his shoulders so he really needed to order him some clothes later. Water… He had completely forgotten about that, he needed to… He would make sure to… Someone was calling his name through the phone in his clammy hands, Wooyoung?
“Seonghwa? Hwa!”
Seonghwa had barely registered how loud Wooyoung was calling his name through the speaker.
“Yes, Young-ah, I am here, sorry-”
“Don’t be, Seonghwa, You did well, he is okay for now. You can figure out the rest tomorrow. Just make sure to take it slow. It’s not easy to… get out of that mindset.”
Seonghwa paused. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear the answer.
“What mindset?”
Wooyoung hesitated for a moment, then he said:
“He probably thinks you are just waiting for him to let down his guard so you can punish him but I don’t know him, hyung. It could also just mess with his head that you’re being nice to him. Keep being nice to him though, make him realize he can trust you, okay?”
“Of course I will, thank you for telling me and I am sorry if I brought back some bad memories.”, Seonghwa hurried to add. He had the faint feeling that whatever Wooyoung was telling him had hit a bit too close to home.
Wooyoung hummed in agreement and then, seemingly fighting off a clingy San, responded carefully:
"It's okay, hyung. I mean, I never told you about… my life before San, mostly because I really don't like talking about it but I am glad I can help."
"No, thank you for your help. I wouldn't know what to do without you two, seriously. I really don't want to mess this up."
Seonghwa sighed and sat down on the side of his bed, resting his head on his hand. He didn't realize how exhausted he was.
“I know that, hyung. He will see that you aren’t anyone to be scared of. Just like everyone else who knows you does.”
“Yes, hyung, do you remember how scared I was at the beginning? It only took me one afternoon to realize you aren’t actually scary just because you’re an alpha and crazy rich. You are like the cutest baby I know.”
Wooyoung chimed in and the loud cackling that followed managed to put a smile on Seonghwa’s face. He really needed to hear that.
Meanwhile San immediately started to pester his omega about being so brash, which made Wooyoung laugh with even more vigor. Seonghwa’s heart made an excited leap hearing his friends fooling around. He was incredibly grateful for them. They really understood him like nobody else. If they weren’t so caught up with themselves currently, that was. He had to call their names multiple times to get their attention again.
“Thank you so much, really. I feel better already. Tomorrow I will try and talk to him again and I promise I will take things slow.”
San gave a pleased hum. “Good, trust your instincts, hyung-”
He was interrupted by Seonghwa gasping loudly. Suddenly he remembered.
“He doesn’t have a scent! I haven’t been able to smell him since we met. I mean those care centers have the scent neutralizers but even after… he doesn’t smell like anything! Is that normal? What did they do to him?”
His anxiety was back in an instant. Another thing he didn’t know how to help him with. San made a confused sound but Wooyoung seemed to know something. His voice was reserved when he spoke.
“That’s another thing they do. They have that… cream I think. It's only temporary but it messes with the pheromones pretty badly. I don't know how long it will take until his scent is back to be honest."
"He must be pretty overwhelmed by your scent then. Not being able to balance it out with his own scent makes him basically defenseless right now." San added earnestly, which made Seonghwa groan in response.
"Please don't remind me, San-ah, I basically ambushed him with my pheromones in the car. He probably thinks I marked my territory or something. Like I would do that!"
Both San and Wooyoung snickered.
"Sure, alpha. Keep us posted about him, okay? And you can call anytime if you need help."
As usual San's words were exactly what he needed to hear at that moment. With some more giggling they said their goodbyes and soon Seonghwa was sitting on the side of his bed in complete darkness, struggling to hold a clear thought. He needed to get out of these clothes and finally catch up on some sleep. He would work from home for the next few days just to make sure and focus on the omega. But first he needed to fix his mistakes. From what he knew, this could make or break their next few interactions.
Seonghwa was downstairs again in no time, phone in hand, sending an email to his assistant. He grabbed a cold water bottle from the fridge and made his way to a cupboard hidden in the hallway. It was only an air freshener spray bottle but it was better than nothing. As soon as he could get him to talk, he would ask him about other ways to make himself more comfortable. With soft steps he snuck in front of his door and carefully placed the items.
Sleep had overcome him as soon as he had gotten into bed, which was why he was woken up by the buzz of his phone, telling him to get up early the next morning. The sun had barely risen and waking up in his barely lit bedroom felt like any other day at first until he remembered the day before. Seonghwa was out of bed within seconds, turning off his phone alarm and getting ready for the shower. It didn’t matter that it was only 6 in the morning, he could use a head start if he wanted to be prepared.
He had also forgotten to put away the dishes in the sink which was very uncharacteristic for him and just showed how distracted he had been. Shortly afterwards he made his way down the stairs to clean up the mess when he got startled by a figure sitting by the windows.
Seonghwa stopped dead in his tracks. The omega was looking out the window, his body looking relaxed. Different feelings overcame Seonghwa all at once. Fear, relief and a strange sense of fascination for the person sitting on the floor of his living room, looking down onto the cityscape with keen interest. He hesitated for a moment. What was he supposed to do now? He didn’t want to make the same mistakes again.
You got this, Seonghwa.
He took a deep breath and walked towards the omega, who still hadn’t noticed him.
“I told you the sunrise is even more beautiful.”
The omega spun around and looked at him with wild eyes. Seonghwa wouldn’t have been surprised if he had immediately disappeared like a scared animal but he just sat there and stared at him, mouth agape like he had been caught doing something forbidden.
With as much courage he could muster at that moment, Seonghwa came closer and then he saw it. There were tears on his face, running down his cheeks, unnoticed or ignored. It made Seonghwa’s heart ache with compassion and he resisted reaching out to wipe them away in fear of startling him even more.
“I will let you see the sunrise every morning from now on, I promise.”, Seonghwa said softly instead as he kneeled down next to him. He didn’t know why he had the need to say this but he felt like it was important to point it out just to make sure.
He tried very hard not to think how it might sound to him, Wooyoung’s words from yesterday still very present in his mind. The omega just stared up at him and then nodded slowly. Only then did he seem to notice the tears running down his cheeks and he hurriedly put his hands up and started sniffling. There was shock written all over his face, as if he didn’t know that he had the ability to cry.
Seonghwa was quick to grab a tissue from the kitchen counter and handed it to him. Again, the omega looked down at the tissue and then back up at him with bewilderment in his eyes.
The sun was slowly creeping up through the skyscrapers, illuminating the apartment in different shades of orange and gold. Usually Seonghwa would tint the windows to make it less blinding but he didn’t even consider it this time for obvious reasons.
He was still sitting on the floor with the omega, who was vigorously rubbing his face with the tissue now. For a moment, Seonghwa studied him more intently. Was the beauty of the sunrise making him cry? He couldn’t find any joy in his expression. He looked remorseful, grieving, or was it relief? Once again, Seonghwa really tried not to think about what he had gone through. He could barely handle seeing him like this as it was now.
The omega currently tried to hide his face in his hands and elbows as he kept trying to compose himself, which was failing miserably. Seonghwa resisted the urge to reach out to him again. Comfort meant touch for him but he knew he came across as overbearing even to his friends sometimes. Plus, he didn’t need to be an expert to know that getting this omega to trust him would start with respecting his boundaries. Suddenly he had an idea. Boundaries would be the best approach to start with. He rushed for something to say:
“Take all the time you need, okay? Let’s see. I will prepare some breakfast and you can keep watching the sun come up. I’ll get you some more tissues.”
With that he got up to find the tissue box. The omega just followed him with his eyes, keeping his body very still, as if he expected something more to come. But Seonghwa only placed the tissue box next to him and went back to his dirty dishes in the sink.
He tried to act as nonchalantly as possible, only looking in his direction occasionally.
The omega hadn’t moved much in the meantime, only his head was turned towards the spectacle in the morning sky again.
Seonghwa got to work and opted for yachae jeon, the vegetable pancakes quick and easy enough to prepare. He still didn’t know if he had been able to eat regularly in the past since he looked quite thin in his face and stature. Seonghwa added yet another thing to his mental to do list.
One step after the other. The setting of boundaries and getting him comfortable enough to talk to him had priority of course. Preparing the food was familiar, so Seonghwa let his mind wander, mentally making bullet points in his head for the things he planned to say and do for the omega’s peace of mind.
When he was almost done the omega had gotten up on his own and looked over to the counter with curiosity. Seonghwa smiled to himself, counting that as a win already.
They ate in silence. He seemed very eager to eat again, Seonghwa noticed with glee. To prevent the previous day’s mistake, he had made sure to give him a smaller portion first and let him finish before quickly giving him more. The omega had given him an anxious look after finishing his portion and Seonghwa understood immediately, following his silent question with a wide smile.
This wasn’t going that badly actually, Seonghwa thought. At least it went much better than yesterday.
_ _ ____________ _ _
Hongjoong genuinely didn’t remember the last time he had cried. Tears of humiliation or frustration maybe, but being overcome by a feeling so foreign and big? The vastness of the world, all in a single ball of light in the sky? It had made him lose his composure and he hadn’t been able to get it back. He didn’t like the loss of control over his emotions like that. It only demonstrated how weak he was to that alpha. Another thing to use against him. He hadn’t even noticed his tears looking at the sunrise. He also hadn’t meant to stay that long, he had just wanted to take a little peak and then disappear into the room again.
Absolutely nothing had happened in the night. Not even a sound. By the time he had talked himself into leaving the room, the sun had started to illuminate the apartment. But then the alpha had appeared and had made it impossible for him to leave. To his surprise there had been no punishment for leaving the room, he had just started to make food right away, for him as well. He had even given him seconds while smiling at him widely.
Hongjoong found himself feeling irritated by Seonghwa’s presence. Why did he keep being so gentle and… nice? What was behind the facade? Was this his plan to rile him up and make him lose focus?
Well, he hadn't really been able to hold his focus very well this far so it clearly seemed to be working. That thought frustrated him even more. Seonghwa was currently busy with cleaning the dishes again and only looked up at him once or twice, as if to check if he was still there.
His eyes carried that concerned and serious look again. Hongjoong just couldn't decipher it. He also never held eye contact for long. As if he was afraid of it, like back in the way he did at the care center. To think that he had only left that place yesterday. It felt like years had passed in the meantime.
Seonghwa had finished whatever he was doing in the kitchen and looked at him now, unmoving. Hongjoong knew something significant was going to happen now, guessing from the firm look on the alpha’s face. Was it finally time for his punishment?
He was directed to the couch, where Seonghwa insisted he’d sit down again. There was an ominous moment of silence hanging in between them and Hongjoong braced himself for the inevitable.
Seonghwa sighed.
“I apologize for overwhelming you yesterday. I shouldn’t have pressured you about your name. But I still mean what I said. I am not going to touch you against your will or ask you to do something you don’t want to do. I promise."
Seonghwa stared at him intently and Hongjoong couldn’t keep his face from slipping with disgust for a moment. Promises weren't exactly dependable, just words that could be twisted and broken. Too many of them had been made specifically to hurt him. What was a promise to a stronger, ruthless alpha like Seonghwa?
Said alpha seemed to notice his obvious reaction because he immediately followed up by saying:
“I am aware of how this sounds and I completely understand. Why would you believe me? You have no reason to trust me."
That got him a raised eyebrow in response. Hongjoong had gotten bolder after his first reaction had caused Seonghwa's course to change instantly. Maybe he was pushing his luck but even if the words out of Seonghwa's mouth were lies, he had at least held his ground.
Seonghwa put his hand up to his face for a second as if he was unsure of what to say next. Hongjoong had never seen such an insecure alpha, or he was a very good actor, he couldn't tell just yet.
"Let me prove it to you then. This will take time but if we want to make this-"
He gestured unspecifically in between them,
"...work out, we need to figure out a way to communicate where we both feel comfortable."
Hongjoong didn't understand why Seonghwa was so adamant about getting him to speak. What did it matter?
"I thought of something that will hopefully help both of us. Do you know the traffic light system?"
He slowly shook his head, unsure of how he was supposed to respond but he had truly never heard of it so he wasn't lying. Seonghwa continued with a curt nod.
"It's a system to establish consent and it is usually used in…well, different circumstances but we can utilize it for now. There is red, yellow and green. Stop, wait and go. The most important one is red. If there is something you don't want me to do, you just say red or stop. I will immediately stop whatever I am doing, no questions asked."
Hongjoong's eyes widened. This couldn't be true. There was no way Seonghwa meant this. Why would he do this? What did he hope to achieve with Hongjoong being able to tell him to stop?
"I mean it exactly as I said. You say stop and I will stop. Your word counts."
Seonghwa’s expression had turned serious, making what he had said sound all the more sincere and Hongjoong was almost inclined to nod his head, which he stopped himself from doing just in time. No, he wouldn't blindly agree right away. He had to know what Seonghwa intended with this first. His eyes were fixed on the alpha, as he continued talking.
"Yellow stands for wait. If you’re unsure about something or you want to ask questions before we continue, you can say yellow and we can talk about it. I don’t really have a good example right now, I guess if I do or say something you don’t understand you are allowed to tell me yellow in any situation, okay?”
Hongjoong’s mind was scattered all over the place. Seonghwa’s words were floating through his head, causing every thought to shatter into pieces, disrupting as soon as it was formed.
Seonghwa was essentially offering him a way out with this color system, a veto to voice his own feelings. He would be stupid not to make use of it. But what were Seonghwa’s plans? Why would he do something like this? Hongjoong couldn’- no, didn’t want to believe that he was acting without an ulterior motive, so what did this mean?
His mind didn’t provide him with anything useful once again, it came out blank, no matter how much he tried to frown in concentration. He knew it must have shown on his face when Seonghwa leaned back, not letting him out of his sight, as if he was waiting for a reaction on his part.
Instinctively, Hongjoong lifted his shoulders. He didn’t know what Seonghwa wanted from him. He tentatively nodded his head in agreement, feeling like he was surrendering himself to something he didn’t know anything about.
“Green or go are used if you are okay with whatever is happening. I will still make sure to ask you even if I think I know you wouldn't mind or if you have told me green before in case you change your mind. You can change your mind any time of course. Do you have any questions?”
Seonghwa smiled at him. It was soft and genuine and Hongjoong was so captivated by the open display of kindness he had to look away. His head was spinning trying to make sense of the current situation. Was it another way of controlling him with his emotions? But that wouldn’t explain the red color. Hongjoong could just say red to everything and Seonghwa wouldn’t be able to do anything, if he kept his word, that was. Maybe it would be used to give him a false sense of security, so Hongjoong would let down his guard ? He had to be careful and observe how Seonghwa would react. Hongjoong barely dared to think of the next words. What if he- What if he played along for a while?
The thought brought his mind to a temporary halt. Hesitantly, he raised his head to meet the alpha’s eyes. Hongjoong’s heart was beating so loudly in his chest he was convinced Seonghwa could hear it. Skeptically he forced out the word that was burning on his tongue:
“Why.”
His voice was nothing but a whisper, hoarse and quiet from the lack of use. He didn't remember when he had spoken the last time. Seonghwa had heard him though because his face lit up and he immediately answered:
"It will make it easier for us to communicate when I know where your boundaries are. This way I will be able to tend to your needs better and help you wherever I can."
Hongjoong didn't expect Seonghwa to give him such a lengthy explanation. He had halfway expected his question to be dismissed or even ignored. Seonghwa slowly extended his arm and Hongjoong instinctively tensed up. But he only kept his hand hovering mid air.
"Do you need some water? You don't have to talk if it hurts to speak, I wasn't aware of that, I am sorry."
He sounded… apologetic? Hongjoong's confusion only seemed to increase the longer he interacted with that alpha. He shook his head, water was the least of his concern at the moment.
Seonghwa averted his gaze when he continued:
"Also I hope the water and the room spray I put in front of your door yesterday were helpful. I didn't think of it before and I didn't want to bother you further. Please don't hesitate to tell me if something is missing. I can get you scent neutralizing spray if you feel more comfortable."
Hongjoong couldn't stop his face from reacting again. The thought of the same clean and sterile lack of scent in this apartment made his guts churn for some reason. Not that he particularly liked the constant vanilla odor that clung to everything like a blanket but at least he could smell something.
Seonghwa picked up on it scaringly fast..
"Oh… yeah no of course! We don't need scent neutralizers if you don't want them. I just thought it might help because of your… Because you don't have… uh sorry."
The alpha's face had taken on a light shade of pink as he suddenly stopped himself from saying more. Hongjoong looked at him in confusion. What was he talking abou-
Like shattering glass it finally dawned on him. His scent! He didn't- There wasn't- How was that possible?
Frantically Hongjoong started sniffing his wrist and the crook of his elbow next. Nothing. He couldn't detect anything other than the vanilla in the background. The lack of scent alone didn't scare him necessarily, he honestly didn't remember the last time he had been able to make out his own scent. Living so long with neutralizers he knew by now it wasn't something in his control and he had learned to handle himself.
The reason he was terrified was that he should have a scent right now. There weren't any neutralizers in the air, he could clearly make out Seonghwa’s vanilla scent and- and…
The alpha sitting on the other side of the couch was trying to get his attention and Hongjoong realized how panicked he looked. He was probably showing him every single step of his thought process at the moment, which was exactly what he had been trying to avoid until now. He willed his whole body and his facial muscles to stop moving and focus on his hands instead but everything went blurry again. Focus Hongjoong!
He really had to get it together, he had let him see way too much already.
"-it's okay, listen to me. Hey, it's okay. I talked to my friend, he said you are going to be fine. It might just take a while for your scent to come back. Did they put any kind of cream on your skin before you left with me?"
Seonghwa's calm voice pierced through his panicked mind and brought his attention back to his own trembling hands.
Hongjoong slowly stroked his fingers over his forearm and wanted to add something but his throat didn't let him, so he just nodded wildly.
The look Hongjoong received bordered on pity. Normally he hated the fake sympathy. He could handle the hatred, disgust and the scorn he usually received much better. It made his blood boil to be looked down upon with a false front of empathy that just resulted in making him feel bad about himself. Now he didn’t find it in him to get angry. His body and his mind were exhausted beyond his control, last night and this morning clearly taking its toll on him. Additionally, the absence of his scent was completely occupying his mind right now. If he was only able to recognize his scent again…
Distantly he remembered the times before the care center and shortly after he got there, where he desperately tried to scent himself and small items he owned for comfort. He had soon learned that his instincts were liabilities he couldn’t afford. Would Seonghwa also make use of this tactic? Did he even know about it?
"It will come back, okay? Let me research a bit, I will see what I can do, I am sorry for bringing it up.”
Once again Hongjoong didn’t know how to react to this. Seonghwa said it with so much care and honesty that he was almost inclined to believe him. Almost.
Absent-mindedly, he pulled on his scratchy shirt collar and Seonghwa’s expression suddenly changed. Hongjoong tensed up, his hand stuck on his own neck, where he could feel his heartbeat fluttering wildly underneath his fingers.
“Oh, about your clothes. They seem to be quite rough on your skin. You probably want to get out of them right? I can get you- What are you doing?”
Hongjoong, who had started to undress himself at Seonghwa’s instruction, froze instantly.
“N-not now! I will have to order the clothes for you first. Please put your shirt back on.”, Seonghwa stuttered, as he was looking upwards, avoiding Hongjoong’s shocked eyes on him. His naked upper body seemed to fluster the alpha immensely. Seonghwa’s vanilla scent suddenly spiked in richness and his face had taken on a faint rosy tinge. Hongjoong didn’t understand in the slightest. The usual reaction to his naked body ranged from lustrous looks and potent pheromones to downright rut-like behavior.
He didn't feel a particular way about his body. It was there to be used, what alphas wanted from him and he had learned a long time ago that alphas would get their way one way or another, because everyone wanted to get a taste of a rare male omega.
Not this alpha though. Hongjoong watched in bewilderment as Seonghwa put his hand over his eyes and peaked through it to check whether he had put his shirt back on or not. He looked downright horrified and Hongjoong didn't know why. His body was made to allure alphas, why was Seonghwa not jumping out of his seat to get his hands on him? Once again, Hongjoong got a glimpse of the alpha he had met at the care center. Startled and nervous with these big eyes.
"Um- Uh you don't need to take them off right now. I think I have some clothes in the laundry, they should be softer. I can wash them so they won't smell too much like me. Sorry about the scent right now."
He mumbled the last sentence before he got up and practically ran up the stairs right next to the couch. He came back not even a minute later with a gray hoodie and a fresh pair of underwear in his hands.
"I only found this, let me wash it real quick. Maybe I’ll find something instead of the pants you are wearing right now.”
Seonghwa unfurled the hoodie as he descended further down the stairs. Hongjoong wasn’t sure what the alpha was going on about clothing not having his scent clinging to them and why he wanted it washed. Usually alphas didn’t care about that, no, they even insisted on putting their scent on everything, including omegas like Hongjoong.
So he just silently observed everything happening in front of him. Seonghwa stared at him for a second, as if he was unsure how to continue and then turned on his heels, presumably to find said washing machine.
Suddenly being alone in the living room filled Hongjoong with unease. Being on his own in a closed room usually meant observation from outside, an agonizing wait for yet another torment. He shifted on the couch, feeling the scratchiness of the pants even more now. It was surprising to Hongjoong in general how long he had been able to hold on to these clothes. He had expected to get them ripped off of him the second he had taken a step into the apartment, or even the car. But nothing so far had happened the way he had expected it.
What an unusual alpha, Hongjoong thought, as he continued to look at the scenery outside. The sun had completely risen over the buildings and illuminated the whole apartment now, reminding him of times he had so badly tried to forget over the years. Times with warm sunlight on his skin and a smile on his lips. He wondered if he could feel the warmth of the sun on his arms if he walked towards the window again but decided against it. It would be way warmer in the apartment if that was the case. There was probably air conditioning in place, constantly keeping the temperature on the same level.
He was so lost in thought that he didn’t notice Seonghwa’s reappearance right away. Now he was caught off guard again by the alpha who was studying him intently, just as he had done this morning after coming down the stairs. Hongjoong tried to look back at him equally as intensely but he was too preoccupied with his thoughts to lean into it properly.
Seonghwa seemed to notice, because he said softly:
“You can go take a nap if you like, I need to get some work done anyway. B-but you are free to stay on the couch if you want of course, I don’t mind. The laundry is done in about 30 minutes.”
Even if Hongjoong had known how to reply to that, he wouldn’t have been able to. His throat seemed to be twisted in a painful way, making it even impossible for him to swallow.
So he looked away, trying to avoid the obvious expectation for an answer. He heard some shuffling as Seonghwa sat down on the other side of the couch, holding a laptop in his hands, clearly set on getting his aforementioned work done.
So he was surprised when Seonghwa spoke to him again:
“I am aware this situation is a bit… imbalanced but I will make sure that you are cared for. No matter what you have been made to believe I think that omegas deserve a basic level of respect. You are a person just like everyone else and I will try my utmost to prove that to you.”
The silence that followed gave Seonghwa’s words even more weight until they cemented themselves in Hongjoong’s head, refusing to leave.
…utmost to prove that to you… basic level of respect… I will make sure that you are cared for…
The words were like gum in his head, sticking to every other thought Hongjoong tried to muster up, as he was attempting to make sense of it, of predicting the alpha’s next move. His brain was still struggling to register the words when there was a high beep and Seonghwa wordlessly got up and returned momentarily with the hoodie and a thin blanket in his hands, pointing him to his room.
As if on autopilot Hongjoong accepted the things from Seonghwa and went to the room he had been assigned to. His mind was still trying to make sense of Seonghwa's words, trying to find the trap, the double meaning. He barely registered the softness of the gray hoodie and how comfortably snug the underwear was or how much better he instantly felt.
Only when he had made his way back to the couch in the living room, when Seonghwa didn’t even look up from his laptop and he grabbed the blanket next to him to put it over his bare legs, Hongjoong felt it.
Safe. The feeling crept through the soft ends of the blanket up his limbs to his consciousness and added on to the confusion in his mind. Was this how it felt to be completely broken? To be mindlessly willing to give in?
Hongjoong's fractious thoughts faltered for a moment when he noticed how soft the blanket surrounding him was and how he sunk into the hoodie the more he leaned back on the couch.
He still didn't manage to form a coherent sentence in his head, his mind only providing him with useless comments of how wonderful it felt to be covered by a soft blanket, something he didn't remember could feel so good.
Only when he noticed how his mind slipped, pulling him into sleep, the cautious part of his brain told him to stay alert, that he was still in the presence of an alpha. But the all encompassing safety of the blanket was too powerful to make him think beyond: Was it so bad to let go for once?
When he opened his eyes after what felt like an infinity later, all he could think about was that Seonghwa was sitting on the same spot as before, with Hongjoong still wrapped up in his blanket, unharmed and safe .
And when Seonghwa asked him if he was hungry, Hongjoong made the sudden decision to put the alpha's continuous promises to the test.
His voice was rough and his throat ached when he spoke.
"Hongjoong. My name is Hongjoong."