Chapter Text
Running.
Running.
Blurs of green and brown.
Moss under foot.
Twigs and rocks piercing the pads of my feet.
Wet running down my stomach.
Running.
Panting.
Can't stop.
For if I do it’ll never end.
Sitting in the back of the class headphones in. No one seemed to know I was there, invisible to the world. I wish I wasn't, that someone, anyone would notice me, see me, talk to me. But that would never happen, it’s been 18 years no had noticed, no had cared, so why start now.
I'd been drawing in my sketchbook the random things that come to my mind, mostly foxes in the woods. They seemed to have a hold on my mind the most. Even in my dreams, I'd see them running, playing, living with their happy little families.
Something I was sure I'd never know.
Time was an enigma to me. I never had anything important to keep track of. No friends to meet, no lover to go on a date with. So time would go by so quickly yet so slowly. Only to care about work when the shifts came or when I needed to go to class. But still never truly caring about time, only waiting for it to run out, to finally stop.
Packing up as the bell rang, moving on to the next class for those who had it, or the first class of the day for others. I headed out to the fields behind the college close to the forest there. Setting my things down and sitting under the shade of a tree pulling out my lunch and sketchbook again, taking bites of food between drawing and shading. Things were quiet and peaceful, the voices in my head were quiet for once, giving me a break before they are sure to come back and torment me. The songs were instrumentals perfect to tune to the background as to cover up any noise.
As I finished the last details on the drawing and set everything down to stretch out, I jumped noticing a girl sitting next to me. Accidentally pulling out my ear buds in the process she smiled apologetically at me. “ Sorry I didn’t mean to scare you, I would have asked but I didn't want to ruin your drawing by scaring you then either'' she said. I just stared at her confused as to why she was here. “I’m Michelle, I've seen you around and you always seem to be on your own so I thought I'd come say hi” She introduced herself. “I’m Autumn” I told her my name. “Can I look at your drawings? The one you just did was really good, I'm sure the others are just as good too” she asked, holding her hand out for my sketchbook. I slowly hand it over and she carefully takes it and starts looking through it. “You really like foxes huh” she states as she looks at my many fox drawings. I just nod, not sure what is going on as this never happens. Unable to fathom why she is here and taking an interest in me ‘she’s just going to use you’ the voices start to speak up.
Reaching the end of my drawings she hands the book back to me. “As I suspected they are all good” “thanks” I mumble out. “Not much of a talker are you Autumn?” she asks, I just nod. “That's okay I'll get you comfortable around me to open up” she told me. I just blinked at her confused, “I'm going to be your friend silly, I've noticed you don’t seem to have any and I don't really either so we seem to be the best match for each other” she explained. I just gave her a small smile, not sure what else to do with myself.
As the months passed by Michelle stuck by my side and did in fact get me to open up. She followed me around campus and dragged me along outside of it. We had our differences. I liked sitting in the woods drawing in the calming life of nature and she liked shopping at the mall and going to the movies. But we made it work, she would sit with me and read or just watch me draw and I would go with her to the mall and let her dress me up. It was a lot of fun, something I've been missing out on in life. I’d never truly smiled and laughed as much as I had with her than in my whole life. I hadn't noticed either how slowly my feelings for her began to change, from a platonic love to a more romantic love. Not wanting to ruin the relationship with my only friend, I kept my feelings to myself. And I was okay with it, she never seemed to be interested in anyone but me either. So it seemed we would be friends together forever.