Chapter Text
The shrill ringing wakes Erwin, pulls him from a deep sleep he desperately needed. Having spent all night grading exam papers and attempting to get the kids bathed, fed, and to sleep, Erwin was hoping to have one uninterrupted night of rest. He lies in the dark waiting for his phone to quiet, finding solace in the softness of his sheets. When the ringing ceases he rolls onto his side, throwing an arm out to pull Levi closer to him hoping to latch onto a couple more hours of sleep before his day starts, only to find a cold empty spot where there should be a warm body. His heart pounding in his chest, Erwin jerks upright and shivers as if a bucket of ice water has been dumped over him. He bolts up, squinting his eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room, while he searches for Levi or for a hint as to where he might be.
When nothing presents itself, Erwin stumbles out of the comfort of their bed whispering into the darkness for his husband. He almost trips over his feet trying to make it to the restroom, only to find it empty. Erwin pokes his head into Eren and Armin’s shared room, again no sign of Levi, and by the time he makes it to Mikasa’s nursery on the other side of the apartment his heart is pounding in his chest. As he cracks the door he hopes to see Levi sitting in the corner, cradling Mikasa close to his chest humming a soft lullaby under his breath. It’s empty.
Erwin gently closes the door, distressed at the idea that Levi has gone missing. He rushes back to his room to grab his phone, trying to be mindful of his sleeping kids. When he returns to their room he notices that Levi’s phone is missing from his side. Grasping his phone from his bed side table, past the mountain of books, he checks for any messages Levi might have left explaining his absence. When he finds none he quickly types out a message. His finger on the blue arrow ready to send, when a call comes in, he ignores it sending his message instead.
While he waits for a response back he bounces his legs and rips at his finger nails till they bleed, anything to distract him from the growing feeling of dread in his gut. The phone goes off and his snatches it off the comforter, its that same number again. He answers it annoyed that this person is getting in the way of his search for his husband.
“Who is this? Why do you keep calling here?” He asks in a booming voice, hoping it discourages the caller from irritating him further.
A meek voice sounds on the other line, “I am sorry for calling so late, but I need to speak with Erwin Smith” The lady on the other end sounds shaken up.
“This is he. Who is this?” Erwin lowers his voice as he asks again.
“ I’m calling from St. Pauls Medical Center regarding your husband Levi Smith.”
And everything comes to a halt including his heart that was up until now beating against his ribs. Erwin’s not stupid, he knows what this call means but he won’t let himself believe it.
He attempts to calm his shaky voice as he asks, “ What happened?”. The rest comes in fragments no matter how hard he tries to focus only catching “car accident— critical condition— next of kin”. When he asks for information she denies it, saying it can only be given to him by Levi’s doctor once he arrives.
She hangs up on him, and he doesn’t know what to do except hyperventilate on their bed, the bed they had both been peacefully sleeping on mere hours ago. When he pulls himself together he can’t tell if it can been 5 minutes or an hour, all he knows is he needs to be by Levi’s side. He debates bringing the kids along with him, but settles on calling Hange over at 3 in the morning to watch them. Erwin frantically explains to them what had just happened , and luckily they’re awake enough to grasp the seriousness of the situation to go along with what he says.
“Thank you so much” he half sobs out to Hange, struggling to get his shoes on. Erwin’s limping around in the foyer trying to fit his last shoe onto his foot, his phone nestled between his right shoulder and his ear when Eren sluggishly totters out into the living room still rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“ Eren’s up, I have to go. Thank you”Erwin hangs up on Hange without hearing a response, at this point he is so frazzled he forgets to wait for one.
“ Daddy where are going, its late.” The seven year old questions, confused why there was so much commotion happening, and why his dad was leaving so late into the night.
He has to compose himself before speaking. “ Daddy just needs to grab something, I’ll be quick. Come on lets get you back to bed” Erwin ushers Eren back into his room.
“ But I wanna go with Daddy.” Eren whines, tears coming to his eyes, and Erwin can’t afford to loose anytime when his husband could be dying. He gets Eren back into his race car bed, wary of Armin fast asleep, and rocks him in his arms mumbling Levi’s lullaby under his breath. Once Eren’s down, he makes a beeline for the door, almost missing his keys on the way out, grabbing them while he’s still in motion. As Erwin trudges down the bleak hallway his booming steps reverberate down the halls. Deciding the elevator would take to much time so he opts to sprint down the apartment stairs instead, almost face planting into the floor at the last step. As Erwin clambers into his car theres sweat in his eyes, blood on his palms, and he’s clad in nothing but sweats and a ratty sweater, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care that the leather of the seats sticks to his bare skin, the world could be ending, but he wouldn’t care, because his husband could be dying, he could already dead.
The drive to the hospital feels longer than it is, now that Erwin has been left to his own thoughts. Memories of Levi, his beautiful husband come rushing in. He remembers their wedding day, how nervous he had been worried that something would go wrong, nothing could calm him even his brothers attempts at reassurance. But as soon as he laid eyes on Levi, dresses in a perfectly pressed white tuxedo his worries vanished.
Looking down at his hands Erwin realizes he had absentmindedly been twisting his ring as he drove. The silver band encompasses his finger like a life line, and he holds it as he begs. “Please, please be ok.”
He knows he probably breaks multiple traffic laws to get to the hospital, but he doesn’t remember much of the drive, save for the panic. Erwin’s green Prius pulls into the St. Pauls parking lot, and he doesn’t bother checking his parking or locking the car, all that he is worried about is his husband. The frigid night air nips at his skin, bringing a sharp chill that can cut through even the thickest of clothing. As he jogs to the hospital entrance each heaving breath he takes burns his lungs and leaves clouds of vapor.
The sliding doors open up to a small waiting room with a receptionist desk in the center, and people scattered throughout. Erwin makes his way to the lady in the center, still gasping from the adrenaline.
“ I’m looking for my husband, I got a call saying he was here” he says to the women in a panic. ‘Jane’, her name tag says, looks annoyed at his sudden presence.
“Can I get a name?”
“ Erwin Smith-“
“ And some ID” she cuts him off. Erwin reaches into his pocket, and its empty. Of course its empty, he was so panicked it didn’t even occur to him that he would’ve needed to bring his wallet.
“ I-I don’t have it, but I got a call from the hospital look” he pulls his phone out that luckily he had remembered to bring.
Erwin presents his phone“ See right here. It says-“
“ Sir, I can’t give you any information regarding a patient without ID. Now if you don’t have it with you, you’ll have to go home to get it.” She raises her voice.
“ But I need to know if my husbands ok. His names Levi Smith, he came in earlier. I-I got a call, if you would just listen to me.” He’s desperate now, he doesn’t know what to do, he can’t go home now, not when Levi’s hurt.
She must have noticed how close to tears he is because she tells Erwin to take a seat and she’ll see what she can do.
As he takes his seat, he begins to question why Levi had left in the first place. A car accident had been mentioned earlier, but that still didn’t explain why he had left. Erwin decides to call Hange to check in with them and the kids.
The phone rings. Click “ What happened, are you with Levi right now. Is he ok, are you ok?” They rapid fire questions at him, and he can’t answer a single one.
“ Um, they won’t let me see him yet. I tried to get information but I forgot my ID at home so” Erwin mutters, already so drained from these past few hours.
“What do you mean they aren’t giving you any information? And what does your Id have to do with anything? You’re his husband, your allowed his information in this situation.” And Erwin wants to respond, he wants to beg Hange for help and advice but his voice won’t come out. All he can muster is, “ How are the kids?”
“ They’re all asleep right now.”
“Good” he nods his head even though Hange can’t see him, his voice is shaky. “ I’m probably going to be here for a while. Um do you think you could watch the kids today, get them to school and everything.”
“Yeah, of course. Anything I can do to help. You want me to stop by after I drop them off, bring you anything?”
“ If you could? I don’t know what to do”
“Sure, I’ll go straight there after. What hospital are you at right now?” They ask.
“ St. Pauls Medical Center, I’ll see you soon. Bye”
They exchanges goodbyes, leaving Erwin alone again.