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When Tsukasa Tenma was 5 years old, he began to constantly hear his classmates gush about soulmates. He didn't know what a soulmate was, but his classmates seemed so excited about them. They would talk about how wonderful they must be and bragged about getting marks already. Tsukasa's curiosity was piqued.
“Look at mine!”
“No way!”
“You have one too now!”
“What are you doing?” Tsukasa had asked.
“Go away! You don’t have a mark yet!”
He didn’t understand what a soulmate mark was, but he knew it must be important.
As any 5 year old would do, he asked his mother. When she heard him ask she looked ecstatic. She quickly sat him down and began to explain what a soulmate was.
"Everyone has a soulmate," she had said. "Soulmates have a special tie between their souls. They're destined to meet, no matter what." She explained that when she was around his age, letters of her soulmate's name began to appear on her arm. The letters continued to come at random until it was enough to connect them to someone she knew, Tsukasa's father. She promised him that one day, he would get those letters too. Tsukasa traced his finger over his father's name inscribed on his mother's arm.
Tsukasa's eyes shone.
He didn’t get any marks that year. It caused him to be made fun of, but he didn’t mind. He was sure that his soulmate must be extra special if they were taking so long to be revealed.
He was sure everything would be okay.
When Tsukasa was 6, he noticed 3 letters burned into his arm.
"R
N
E"
At first, he was a little confused. Why were there marks on his arm? He hadn't been drawing lately.
Then, it dawned on him.
Soulmate marks! He finally had one!
Tsukasa scrambled to get up and ran to his mother as fast as he could. He showed his marks off proudly. She must be so excited for him! Maybe they'd celebrate or she'd buy him a new toy!
The way she had reacted was nothing like he was expecting.
She had looked at him in horror and roughly grabbed his arm. It hurt. He tried to wiggle away, but her grip only tightened. She dragged him to the bathroom, took out some make-up, and applied foundation across his brand new marks. Now his arm only had one letter "R." She said it was now "as things should be."
Tsukasa didn't understand why, but his mother never looked at him the same way after that day.
When Tsukasa was 7, his sister only began to get worse. She was in the hospital more and more, and Tsukasa was alone more and more. His parents paid much more attention to Saki than him. He understood that she needed care where he didn't, but it didn't make the loneliness hurt any less. He couldn't do anything to help her and it hurt. It hurt so bad.
At least, he was able to find comfort in the bold letters etched into his arm, even if 3 of them were covered.Tsukasa wondered how anyone could have such a long name. What was wrong with having a long name? Why did his mother demand he cover up the middle and last name? It didn't make sense. He still couldn't understand why. Why did she act like that? Why did she look at him that way?
Why did she leave him all alone?
"R m
N e
E"
By the time Tsukasa was 13, he was almost always alone. His house didn’t feel like a home anymore. It was only a box of isolation. He didn't bother to cover up his marks anymore. It wasn't like his mother was around to see them, and at school he wore long sleeves.
His classmates found him loud and annoying. Tsukasa wondered what was wrong with being himself, but obviously, something about himself was wrong. Even his own parents seemed to dislike him. At least he had Toya. Toya always would hang out with Tsukasa when he was feeling down.
He found comfort in knowing there was someone out there that he could meet one day. Someone that he would always be happy with and would never leave him alone. If he left them uncovered he felt more connected to them. The letters that were there were all that was keeping him going. He still didn't understand what was wrong with it that made his parents so afraid, but he would still love his marks, anyway.
"R i mi
N e i
E o o"
When Tsukasa was 15, he understood.
He finally understood what was wrong with him.
…
A comma.
There was a comma.
Tsukasa had learned over the countless years of hearing others discover their soulmates or wishing for theirs to come that your soulmate mate was supposed to be the one. They were the ONE. There was no room for three. Everything was all wrong.
He no longer felt comfort in the letters scrawled across his arm. He once again began to cover up the bottom 2 names, like his mother had taught him. Now the letters didn't provide comfort and hope, they only served as a constant reminder that he was a freak. Tsukasa couldn't seem to have anything good. There was something wrong with Tsukasa.
"R i mis
N e s n i,
Em o o"
When Tsukasa was 17, he finally began to feel like he had a place. First he met Emu, then Rui, who introduced him to Nene. They had a bit of a fight in the beginning, but they worked through it together.
Now, they performed all kinds of shows together. His friends had helped him remember who he was. They created shows to inspire and bring happiness to as many people as possible. Not only others, but they made him happy too. It was wonderful.
They were all kind of huge weirdos but that's what made Tsukasa love them so much.
Emu was a girl with bright pink hair and an even brighter personality. She loved to see people smile and was always making up new words and sound effects. Her signature word was "Wonderhoy!", a word that began to hold significant meaning for all the members of the Wonderlands x Showtime theater troupe. Even if her words were sometimes incomprehensible, Tsukasa could always tell where her heart was.
Rui was a genius who loved to create robots and gadgets of all uses. It seemed that anything Tsukasa requested could be easily produced by Rui. Tsukasa loved hearing Rui rant about what he was going to make and how he would do it, even if there were always multiple comments about how Rui was going to use them to antagonize Tsukasa. His eyes always lit up when talking about what he loved and Tsukasa couldn’t take his eyes away.
Nene was a shy girl who had originally hid behind a robo version of herself made by Rui, and dubbed Nene-robo by Emu. Despite how shy she often was, Tsukasa saw himself in her more than any of his other troupe members. She provided a sort of calm. Tsukasa, who was usually so loud, enjoyed sitting in silence with Nene. They would often play video games together, even if he wasn’t that good. He’d always get trash talked by Nene afterward, but he didn’t mind. It was nice to see her enjoying her victory.
When all of Wonderlands x Showtime was together, it was always hectic, but that was what made everything so fun with them. Each member held a special place in their group. Emu, the cheer, Rui, the sadistic inventor, Nene, the shy gamer, and Tsukasa, the star. They fit together like puzzle pieces.
Any time Tsukasa was with them he could feel his heart thumping.
The first time Tsukasa saw Emu without her glove on, he had never felt more afraid. Emu always wore her one white glove on her left arm. When she didn't, she was usually wearing her raincoat or the sweater from her school uniform, so he had never gotten a chance to see her soulmate mark, and of course had never asked.
It had been a particularly hot day when he finally saw it. Emu invited Tsukasa for ice cream that day and they were happily eating it on a bench outside. She ranted to him about a new show she was watching and explained to him why he should watch it as well. If it was Emu, he decided, he would watch the show for her. It would make her happy.
As the sun got higher in the sky, she began to complain about the heat. "Uwaa, the ice cream isn't keeping me cool! It should be all brrr fwoosh, but it isn't!" She had said before she ended up taking off her raincoat.
Underneath, he saw 3 names just like his own. He looked just long enough to see her first 3 letters.
"R
N
T"
He dropped his ice cream.
"Wah! What's wrong, Tsukasa-kun?" She had asked.
Tsukasa didn't answer. In fact, Tsukasa ran. He didn't want to be there. He couldn't stay there. He never wanted to see her again. There was no way he could.
The wind that rushed over his ears during his run felt deafening.
Upon arriving home, Tsukasa ignored his sister's greeting. He ran past her, into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. He hurriedly turned the water on and furiously scrubbed his arm to reveal the names underneath, not wanting to believe it was real.
“Em o or"
Of course. Emu Ootori. It matched perfectly. Not only that, she had the first letters of both his name and their other soulmates' names on her arm. This was real. This was happening.
Tsukasa had secretly hoped to find one of his soulmates and only them. He was always sure they would agree it's better to ignore the other 2 names and could live a happy life as a normal couple. Obviously, Emu was not the type of person to be okay with that. If she knew, she would insist they work together to find the others. He couldn't let her know they were soulmates. Never, ever.
Tsukasa didn't come to practice at all that week.
"Tsukasa-kun! You didn't come to practice last night! You didn’t answer our texts either! Is something the matter?"
Of course Rui would track him down. He knew that avoiding him at school would be impossible, but he still couldn’t help but hope.
Telling Rui what actually happened didn't even cross Tsukasa's mind. Rui and Nene had known they were soulmates since a young age. Everyone knew they were. He could see her name practically all spelled out on his arm,
"Ne K s na i"
Rui already had his forever girlfriend. He would never understand what Tsukasa was feeling. He could never understand this pain.
"Just personal matters." Tsukasa mumbled.
Rui looked concerned. "Saki isn't in the hospital again, is she?"
"Saki's fine."
Tsukasa packed up his lunch and stood up.
"Really, everything's fine."
Then he walked away, and Rui didn’t chase after him.
Tsukasa didn't see Rui the rest of the week.
"Tsukasa… Are you okay?"
Saki, Tsukasa's younger sister, was standing at her brother’s door. She was beginning to worry for him. He hadn’t looked her in the eye all week.
"Tsukasa, please... You haven't come out of your room other than to eat and go to school… You're usually so talkative. You've barely said a word to me this week. What's wrong? Can't you tell your sister? Tsukasa, please come out."
Tsukasa didn't mean to hurt Saki. Hearing her strained voice as she tried to reach him was agonizing. He wanted nothing more than for Saki to be happy. Well… right now, in that moment, maybe there was one thing he wanted more. He wanted those damn names gone. Why? Why couldn't it only be Emu's name? That should have been a wonderful moment. Seeing his name on a girl's arm should be the most exciting moment of any man's life, well, other than marrying said girl, but it was horrifying for him. He liked Emu. He really did. He wanted to go to her and scream "We're soulmates! Please be my girlfriend!" but he just couldn't. Why couldn't it only be Emu's name? Why him? Why did he have to be the man with three soulmates? Why did he have to be born a freak?
"Tsukasa…"
Finally Tsukasa was brought back to reality. "I'm coming.”
Tsukasa got out of his bed for the first time that weekend morning. He dragged his feet across the floor miserably until he finally reached the door to his bedroom. The second the door was unlocked, Saki swung it open and immediately leapt at him. She squeezed him tight. Ah…
"You idiot! Why didn't you open the door sooner! Please just tell me what's wrong!" Saki wept into Tsukasa's chest. Tsukasa stood stunned for a moment, then he couldn't help but join her. He let out all the tears he had been keeping down.The water flowed down his face, and everything he’s been feeling with it. He and Saki ended up collapsed on the ground, a puddle of emotions and grief forming on the floor.
“Please, Tsukasa… I never want you to feel like you can’t tell me what’s wrong! Never…”
Deep down Tsukasa knew Saki wouldn't judge him if he showed her his real soulmate marks. He knew he could take her with him to wipe off the foundation he piled on for years and she would tell him everything would be okay… but he just couldn't. He couldn't tell her. He knew he would some day, but, for now, he decided just letting her hold him was enough.
"Tsukasa-kun!" Emu had yelled when he finally went again. Tsukasa did not want to see Emu in that moment, but he put on his best smile and allowed her to barrel him down in her version of a hug. Her hug hurt more than physically this time. It ached. He knew he could have these types of hugs everyday. He was supposed to have these types of hugs everyday. All he had to do was wipe off his make-up.
But, he knew he wouldn’t. There was no way he could. That would mean admitting that underneath his make-up, he was a freak.
“Tsukasa-kun! We missed you! We were so worried!”
Tsukasa could hear his heart breaking. He never wanted to worry her like he had.
“Sorry, sorry. I just needed a little time to process something. Saki helped me through it. I’m… fine now.”
Tsukasa could tell the 3 were unconvinced, but they said nothing.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better, Tsukasa-kun! Obviously, we couldn’t practice without our main star, but we came up with quite a few scripts just waiting for your approval. Oh, and I have a few gadgets I’d like you to try out!” Rui smiled with that look in his eyes he always had when he was up to no good. For some reason, that look hurt him the same way Emu’s hug had. He couldn’t understand why.
“Of course! I’m sorry to set us back a week on show planning. I promise to work extra hard!”
“You’d better.” Nene playfully jabbed at him. His heart hurt again.
There was definitely something wrong with him.
Rui had given Tsukasa 3 scripts they had written over the week he was gone. Tsukasa sat in his room before bed that night to read them over and add extra scenes or alterations he saw necessary.
The first one was decorated with pink candy all over the front. The script covered a retelling of Hansel and Grettle. At the end, the kids made friends with the witch after finding out her plan and trapping her. They promised that if she never hurt another kid, they'd let her go. In the end, they all lived happily ever after.
Tsukasa smiled. This was no doubt Emu’s idea. She surely just wanted an excuse for costumes and backdrops decorated in candy. It was even written that Rui would create a robot to make it rain gumdrops. Sure, it was a rather unrealistic ending, but Emu herself was very unrealistic. It felt just like her.
The next script was about two childhood best friends growing apart as they get older and meeting later in life. They manage to become great friends once again and even begin to fall in love, but are torn apart once again after the man finds his soulmate and loves her more. The girl is heartbroken, and even after finding her true soulmate, she never manages to get over her childhood friend.
Tsukasa could tell Nene had a huge part in this. She loved childhood friend tropes due to her and Rui falling under that category. He thought the unhappy ending was an interesting choice. It quite contrasted Emu's happy retelling of a tragic story. Perhaps something is bothering her lately.
The last script was an adventure romance. The main character was a housecat, content with his life as a pampered prince, until one day a stray appears at an open window. She promises him adventure if he agrees to go with her. Hesitant to leave his comfortable life, he refuses at first. The stray comes back time and time again, refusing to give up. Finally, he’s fed up with her and agrees to spend the day with her if she agrees to never come back. So, she agrees.
At first, everything is new and scary to the housecat. His soft paws hurt to walk on the hard ground and everything is so, so loud. There are so many new smells. She promises him that though it may be hard now, everything will get better. At first, he doesn’t believe her, and insists they go home, but she continues to take him further into the new undiscovered world. She teaches him to hunt, they chase butterflies, and they race through the empty sidewalks. The wind in his fur feels nice and refreshing. It makes him feel more free than ever before.
When they end the day snuggled up on the rooftops, he realizes that out here, he feels happier than ever before. The comfort he felt while encased in those walls was not happiness.
The stray drops him off at his window and waves him goodbye, promising to never come back, but he stops her. He stares into her eyes and they sit for a few seconds before he utters the last line of the play.
“Actually… It's alright for you to come back tomorrow. I'll wait for you until then!"
…
Tsukasa doesn’t like the way the script makes him feel. It makes him feel that same hurt that Emu’s hugs, Rui’s smiles, and Nene’s insults make him feel. He can tell that so obviously the house cat was meant to be him and the stray was Emu. He couldn’t handle a romance with Emu right now. He wasn’t sure he could ever again.
Tsukasa threw the third script in the trash.
"Bye! Guys! I'll see you later!"
Emu and Rui were waiting at the entrance to the Wonder Stage. Rui had said he had somewhere to go after practice that day, but there were still quite a few things to clean up, so Tsukasa was left to finish. He really needed to stop letting Rui use him as a servant.
"Nene, are you coming?"
"No, I still have a few things to take care of. I'll see you when you get home from your dinner tonight if you wanna hang out."
Tsukasa was surprised at Nene's response. She and Rui always walked home together.
"Okay then! I'll see you later!" Rui promised as he turned to leave.
"Byeeeeee!!!" Emu screamed.
That just left Tsukasa and Nene. He wondered what Nene needed to do that was so important. To Tsukasa's surprise, she began to help him put away props. Nene was helping him?
Tsukasa felt a small smile creep onto his face. Nene was helping him. It made him feel warm.
They worked in silence for a while and everything was eventually put back into the storage closet, ready for them to be brought back out again tomorrow.
He took a seat at the edge of the stage to catch his breath. He closed his eyes and exhaled. Soon, he heard footsteps behind him and felt someone sit down next to him. Tsukasa turned to see Nene sitting a few inches from him, just staring out to where the audience would be. Tsukasa smiled again and they sat in silence. He admired the way the seats were ever so slightly worn. They were still sturdy and about as comfortable as a wooden bench could be, but they had this look to them. You could tell they'd been used a good amount of times. It gave Tsukasa reassurance that they really were making a difference in people's lives.
"It's almost unreal."
Tsukasa was startled by the sudden sound. He'd gotten so used to listening to only the sound of the birds who lived in the trees surrounding the Wonder Stage. He wondered just how long he had sat staring.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, just… we get to make all these wonderful plays. I have so much fun doing them and… I get to do it with you guys."
Tsukasa felt Nene shift closer to him.
"I just love doing stuff with you guys so much."
Nene's voice was soft and sweet.
He felt Nene rest her head on his shoulder.
His heart was pounding again.
He and Nene were so close.
"Me too," he whispered, "I love making shows with you all too."
Nene lifted her head off his shoulder and turned to look at him. He got lost in her eyes. They were so pretty and warm. Rui was so lucky.
Rui.
Right. Nene is Rui's girlfriend. He's not allowed to have moments like this with her, only Rui can. He's betraying Rui and Nene's trust by thinking about her like that.
Tsukasa suddenly broke their eye contact and stared down at the ground below his dangling feet.
"Tsukasa?"
He pushed off with his hands and landed on the ground beneath the stage. Then, he ran.
Nene didn't call out to him. She just let him go. Of course she wouldn't go after him. Why would she? He wasn't not worth chasing. He shouldn't think of her as more than a friend. She already had her soulmate.
He was meant to be alone. No one deserved someone as horrible as him, let alone three.
For their current play, Tsukasa had to wear a suit and slick his hair back nicely. He was supposed to be a spy. He was going to go to Nene's tea party as a guest, when really, he wanted information on her.
He had trouble getting his hair to obey him during the dress rehearsal, but it didn't look horrible. He would have preferred it look better, but there wasn't much he could do.
When Tsukasa walked into the dressing room, he was surprised to see Rui already dressed and working on his make-up.
"Oh, Tsukasa! I figured I'd get ready early. Go ahead and get dressed." Rui smiled with a mischievous grin and Tsukasa couldn't help but feel like Rui was planning something.
He ignored it and began to get dressed, but sure enough, as soon as he had all his clothes on, Rui was behind him.
"Do you need help with your hair, Tsukasa-kun? You had trouble with it and I'm already done, so I might as well help."
So that's what this was about? He did such a bad job on his hair Rui felt the need to do it himself?
Tsukasa just grunted and agreed. He did need help anyway.
Rui sat him down in a chair and got out a comb, a spray bottle, hair spray, and some pomade. He ran his fingers through Tsukasa's hair a few times, and then just stopped, his hands still nestled in Tsukasa's hair.
"Rui?"
"Hm? Oh, right, sorry. Your hair's just so soft."
He took the spray bottle and sprayed water all over Tsukasa's hair. He made sure to make it as wet as possible, and then dabbed it down a little bit with a towel. Next, he combed all of Tsukasa's hair back. It felt nice. He then turned Tsukasa around to look at him, and rubbed some pomade on his hands. He ran his fingers through Tsukasa's hair again. Tsukasa felt a little disappointed when he took his fingers out of his hair again. Something about Rui running his fingers through his hair felt so nice. Rui ran the comb through once again and then turned Tsukasa to look at the mirror.
"How's it look?"
Tsukasa saw himself with much nicer hair than when he had tried to do it himself. Rui really knew what he was doing!
"It looks good!"
"I'm glad you're happy with it! Let me just make sure it stays in place. Close your eyes."
Rui sprayed Tsukasa's hair with the hair spray and now it was complete. Tsukasa didn't want it to be over. He enjoyed Rui pampering him for once.
"Um, Rui?" Tsukasa started.
"Hm? What is it?"
"Uh, do you think… maybe you could do my make-up too?"
Rui smiled at him and Tsukasa's heart started thumping again.
"Of course I can, Tsukasa-kun."
Rui pulled up a chair for himself and Tsukasa got all the make-up Rui would need out on the table. Rui stared at Tsukasa for a second.
“You have such nice skin, Tsukasa-kun.”
Tsukasa’s face heated up a bit at the comment.
Rui started covering Tsukasa’s face in primer followed by foundation. Next, he dusted Tsukasa’s face with setting powder. Rui uncapped a contour stick and dragged it across his cheeks and nose, then he blended it out. He grabbed a fluffy brush and brushed blush over Tsukasa’s cheeks.
Rui looked so concentrated. Tsukasa thought it was kind of cute.
Next, he told Tsukasa to close his eyes and applied a thin eyeshadow. He added glitter to Tsukasa’s eyelids. He knew it was one of Tsukasa’s favorites. He used brown eyeliner to give Tsukasa a small doe eye and then he filled in Tsukasa’s eyebrows with a light brown pencil. Rui applied a lip gloss to his lips and finished with a setting spray.
“There. It’s all done!”
Rui turned Tsukasa to the mirror once again so he could see.
“Do you like it?”
Honestly, It didn’t look much different from how Tsukasa would typically do his own make-up, but something about the fact that it’d been done by Rui made it feel special. He turned back to Rui.
“I love it. Thanks, Rui!”
“No problem! I’m always happy to help.”
Rui stared at Tsukasa for a while. Tsukasa figured he must be admiring his work. He did do a good job after all.
“Maybe someday I’ll have to let you do my make-up. There’s no way you could do better than me.”
“Is that a challenge?” Everyone knew Tsukasa Tenma did not turn down challenges.
“Maybe. You’ll have to find out. Fufufu” Rui laughed.
Rui grabbed Tsukasa’s tie that he had yet to put on, and flawlessly tied it around Tsukasa’s neck.
“Now, go get them, my star.”
Tsukasa’s face felt warm and he felt butterflies in his stomach. He must just be nervous to go on stage, he reasoned. But if he really is…
Then, why is there a dull aching in his heart?
Tsukasa knew there was something wrong with him, but he didn't know what. Well, there were many things wrong with him, but this one had popped up recently and was affecting him greatly.
Everytime he was near one of his troupe mates, he was always flustered and his heart ached. Why was being near then making him so sad? They used to always make him happy. It wasn't because Emu was his soulmate, was it? He thought he had gotten past that. He’d accepted the fact that she was his soulmate and they talked regularly now. Besides, that wouldn't explain why he felt like that with Rui and Nene as well.
Tsukasa stared at the ceiling, racking his brain for an answer. The last time he was upset like this, Saki had been the one to help him.
“Please, Tsukasa… I never want you to feel like you can’t tell me what’s wrong! Never…”
She'd told him that he could always tell her what was wrong. Maybe she'd be able to help him.
Tsukasa sat up. He'd made up his mind. He needed to know what was wrong with him and Saki could help him with that. She always helped.
He crept as quietly as he could into the hallway. It was getting late, and though no one was asleep yet, he still felt the need to stay silent. When he reached his sister's room, he knocked on the door.
"Saki? It's Tsukasa."
He heard shuffling and then the click of the door, followed by light streaming into the hallway where Tsukasa stood.
"Tsukasa? What's up?"
Tsukasa suddenly felt nervous. What if she couldn't help him after all? What if she found an answer he didn't like?
"Er, well. Somethings been bothering me lately, I guess."
"Come in! Tell me about it!"
Tsukasa entered Saki's room and was greeted with the bright colors that decorated her room. She sat down on her pink bedspread and patted the spot next to her, signaling Tsukasa to sit with her.
"So, what's wrong?"
Tsukasa took a deep breath. He could do this.
"Well… I've been… feeling weird lately."
Saki tilted her head, it was a silent encouragement to keep going.
"Around my troupe mates, specifically. When I'm with them, just… I don't know, it hurts. Everything is fine. We're getting along better than ever! But, the more I get to know them, the more it hurts. My heart starts pounding too. I can't explain why."
Saki stared at him, wide eyed.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Okay, okay. Do you ever, like, I don't know, flush when they touch you, or feel warm when spending time together, or something like that?"
This time, it was Tsukasa's turn to be wide-eyed.
"Yeah, how'd you know?"
"Tsukasa, you might have a crush on one of them."
Tsukasa froze.
A crush? On who? Emu? She was his soulmate after all, he guessed it made sense. She was always so cheery and warm and made him feel happy. What about Nene? She made him feel so comfortable. What about that time he had spent with her after practice where she'd rested her head on his shoulder? He had to admit he felt very strange that time. Was that a crush? Then, what about Rui? He loved watching Rui come up with new ideas. He was always so passionate. He also loved the feeling of Rui's fingers in his hair. Did that count as a crush? But, Rui was a guy. He wasn't supposed to have a crush on a guy, was he? Well, he guessed it was okay, but others might think differently.
No, a crush wouldn't explain why he felt that way around all three of them. Saki’s reasoning must be wrong. A crush is supposed to be on one person. There was no way he could be in love with 3 people.
…
Wait.
He was in love with 3 people…
His soulmate marks…
It couldn't be… could it?
"Tsukasa? Are you okay? There's nothing wrong with having a crush on someone!"
"I HAVE TO GO!"
Tsukasa ran out of the room. He heard Saki call after him, but he ignored her. He rushed to the bathroom once again. It felt all too similar to that time with Emu, that time he had first found out Emu was his soulmate. Though, this wasn't all that different, was it?
Once again, he furiously scrubbed away the foundation on his arm. The foundation he had been applying for years to hide the truth. He pulled back the years of pain, of wondering why he had to be like this, in search of answers. And he found them.
"R i mis i
N e us n i,
Em o or"
He ran to his room and uncapped a marker. He frantically scribbled in the missing letters, just to make sure they fit. Just to make sure he was right about this. He would find that he was.
"Rui Kamishiro,
Nene Kusanagi,
Emu Ootori"
The letters he messily wrote in would fit perfectly, like they were meant to be there. They WERE meant to be there. Tsukasa let tears fall out of his eyes. Whether it was from happiness or fear, he didn't know. Maybe it was both. But, what he did know now, was that Tsukasa Tenma had found his soulmates.
"Emu, do you want to go get something to eat together after practice?"
"Hm? Yeah! Should we bring Rui and Nene too?"
"I'd rather it be just us."
It’d been over a week since Tsukasa found out who his soulmates were. He finally decided he would talk to Emu first. He wasn't sure if he could handle confessing his feelings to all 3 at once. Nene and Rui were pretty much a package deal, considering they were already dating, so he decided starting with Emu was the best choice.
After practice, Emu met up with him and he took her to her favorite Cafe. He bought her all the pastries she could eat and her favorite sugary drink. Tsukasa was getting a headache just watching her consume all of that sugar.
He decided not to say anything while they were in the store. It felt too busy. What if someone overheard them? He wanted such an important moment to be more private. He decided to take her to the park, despite the fact that the sun was beginning to set. He had come this far and he wasn't giving up.
Settled together on a bench, watching the setting sun, was when Tsukasa finally decided to say something. He reached to hold her hand and she didn't pull away.
"Emu?"
"Hm?"
"I know it sounds kind of weird but… could I see your soulmate marks?"
Emu's smile faltered a little. She looked worried, but Tsukasa could also see excitement on her face.
"I'll show you mine too," Tsukasa promised her.
She looked him in the eyes and nodded.
"You first," She answered.
Tsukasa nodded and took a deep breath. This morning, he left the house for the first time since he was 15 without his marks covered in make-up. Today, he simply wore his school uniform over it. He glanced at Emu, who was staring intently, waiting for him to roll up his sleeve. He had to remind himself that Emu was in the same situation as him. She wouldn't judge him. Honestly, there was a chance she would run away, just as he did, but he knew even if she did, she would always come back.
Tsukasa rolled up his sleeve and he heard Emu gasp. He looked up at her and her eyes weren't fearful like his had been, in fact, they were sparkling.
"You're just like me…"
Tsukasa laughed at her reaction. It was so Emu-like.
She rolled her sleeve up as well and Tsukasa could finally properly see her marks.
"Ru a i ro,
N ne K sa
T u a a a"
He reached to touch Emu's arm where his name was and laughed.
"Why does it look like this name is screaming?"
Emu laughed as well.
"This one's the hardest to try to figure out. I figure they must be loud and difficult."
Tsukasa wonders for a second if Emu knows already.
"Emu… do you notice anything strange about this name?"
He points to Emu's half written out name on his arm. Her cheeks flush a little red.
"Does my name fit in there?"
The quickness of her response tells Tsukasa the answer to his previous question.
"You knew?"
"Not exactly," Emu starts. Tsukasa gives her a look that says to go on. "After spending so much time with you guys, I started realizing that you guys made my heart go thump-thump! It wasn't in a way that I would get from hanging out with my other friends, it was special. I secretly hoped that your guys' names would fit into the letters on my arm, and they actually did. It made me so happy! I still wasn't completely sure, though. I thought maybe it was just a coincidence. I also didn't want to scare you off."
He felt an urge to assure Emu he wouldn't get scared off, but he knew he would. He did get scared off at some points. He appreciated that Emu thought more carefully about this and let them go at their own pace. Now, Tsukasa was ready to face this.
"How do you feel now that you know we really are soulmates?"
Emu smiled at him. "Really happy!"
Practice that next day was hell.
Emu and Tsukasa had decided to tell Rui and Nene after practice. They knew that if they said something before practice, nothing would get done, and they valued the time spent practicing for their plays.
All throughout practice, Tsukasa couldn't stop thinking about how it would go. There was a great chance they already knew, just like Emu had. Rui was a genius, after all, he should be able to figure it out, and he'd definitely tell Nene if he did. On top of that, they had more letters to work with combined then just one person. They ought to be able to figure it out by now. So, why hadn't they said anything? Did they want them to figure it out on their own? Were they worried about scaring them away like Emu had been?
…
What if they didn't want Emu and Tsukasa as soulmates?
What if they had the same mindset Tsukasa had first had? What if they wanted to live as a normal couple and wanted to cast their other 2 soulmates aside? That's what Tsukasa had wanted, wasn't it? If he was them, he might not want him either. If a younger version of Tsukasa had heard that, he would've been ecstatic, but the thought made current Tsukasa sick.
He was pretty sure Rui noticed that he was acting off. He wasn't able to put all his effort into performing when his mind was elsewhere.
By the time the end of practice came, Tsukasa wasn't sure he could do this anymore. He'd thought about it too much and his anxiety was starting to get the best of him. While Tsukasa was putting away the last of the props, Emu came over and put a hand on his back. She gave him an encouraging look. He could do this.
Rui had put away the last prop, grabbed his bag, and had joined Nene by the front of the stage. Tsukasa put a hand on Rui's shoulder and Rui turned around to face him.
"Uhm, Rui, Nene. There's something Emu and I wanted to talk to you guys about."
Rui gave Tsukasa a concerned look.
"Don't worry, it's not anything bad! It's just…"
Tsukasa gave Emu a nervous glance. She looked excited, but he could see a hint of uncertainty behind her eyes.
"Well…"
How should Tsukasa start this? There were so many ways. He could confess he's in love with them. He could point out their soulmate marks. He could ask how they feel about him and Emu. Which way is right?
An uncomfortable silence hung in the air. Tsukasa knew he had to say something.
He took a deep breath and rolled up his sleeve.
"NENE, RUI!" He shouted, "I HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT YOU TWO ARE ME AND EMU'S MISSING SOULMATES!!!"
Emu looked like she was about to burst. She yanked off her glove as well and joined in.
"YEAH! YOU HAVE TO BE!"
Nene and Rui looked stunned.
"So loud…" was all Nene said.
Rui started laughing. It was Tsukasa and Emu's turn to be shocked.
"You guys figured it out too, huh?" Rui asked, a huge smile on his face.
"You knew?!"
Rui laughed again. "We did."
Nene tsked. "We'd be idiots not to."
"Hey!"
"So why didn't you say anything?" Emu asked. "The second Tsukasa helped me confirm it, I knew I couldn't go long before telling you guys or my heart would explode!"
Rui's smile dropped a little bit. "Honestly, we were scared."
Tsukasa stared at him, wide-eyed, waiting for Rui to explain further. Rui was scared?
"Well, you know that people won't treat us properly, right? I'm already a weirdo, but I never wanted Nene or any of you to be seen as different because of me. I care about you. All of you."
Tsukasa felt some sort of weight he didn't know was there lift. He felt lighter. He wasn't the only one who was anxious about the consequences and it made him feel safe. Heard. It made him feel like maybe things would be okay after all.
"I was worried about the same things. I don't want to be treated like an outsider or a freak, but, well, I guess I kind of am. We all are. And, if you guys want to as well. I want to try and make it work."
Emu shook her head violently in agreement. "We're different, but I want us to be different together!"
A small smile made its way onto Nene's face. "You're all idiots… but you're my idiots. It won't be easy, but I wouldn't mind trying…"
"Me as well, if you guys are okay with it. Fufufu."
"UWAAAAA! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!!!"
Emu tackle-hugged Rui in Nene in one big group hug. "YOU TOO TSUKASA-KUN! GET IN HERE!"
So he did, and it was the most relieving hug of his life.
Smushed in between his 3 recently discovered soulmates, Tsukasa felt like he finally belonged. For once in his life, everything felt right. He now knew that he wasn't a freak. Yes, he was different, but he preferred the term weirdo. Him and his troupe were weirdos, and he was okay with it.
Safe in the arms of Rui, Emu, and Nene, Tsukasa could finally realize that every wrong thing that had ever happened to him was leading up to this moment. Sure, the road ahead of them wouldn’t be easy either, but he wouldn’t be facing it alone anymore. He had 3 wonderful partners who would always love him.
Tsukasa finally felt like he had a home.