Chapter Text
Sara tripped. The blankets and sheets she had slipped from her hands. This is what she got for walking with all her things piled in her arms. She braced to hit the ground. She bet when she hit it, she was going to break something. It'd be fitting for how her day was going.
Someone caught her with a low grunt. They stood her back up with a low grunt. It was better than eating shit, but the embarrassment of someone having to save her from it burned bright. The first time she'd been touched in a long time and it'd been because someone had to save her.
"Thank you!" Sara called out. She sounded slightly frantic.
"Need some help?" the stranger asked. Her voice was low and husky. Sara could hear the amusement in it.
"No! My room is right here, 414," Sara said.
"Aha! So you're my suitemate then! I was wondering if you were going to show up. Here, let me go around, I'll open your door. Hang tight."
Of course, the person who caught her had to be her suitemate. It'd be too easy if it was a stranger. Sara had to make the worst first impression possible.
Sara heard the door open.
"Walk forward. You won't hit anything," her suitemate said.
Sara wobbled into the room and dropped her things to the floor. She pulled her hair out of her face, then looked up at her suitemate. She was tall. Easily six foot. She had broad shoulders and muscles that could've put a lot of men to shame. Her brown hair was messy and short, showing off her sharp, angular face. She wore a white tank top and a pair of jean shorts. It all made for a strongly androgynous presentation. She looked like one of those models that you saw on queer people lusting over online.
Sara wondered if she was trans too. Her state ID still had that goddamned M on it. It'd be just like the school to stick her with another trans person, even though she hadn't requested to live in the dorm where all the other queer people were.
Her suitemate blinked slowly. It reminded Sara of a big cat trying to show it wasn't a threat. She extended her hand.
"I'm Ash, by the way. Ash Hale. It's nice to meet you," she said and extended her hand. Sara took it and shook it. Ash's grip was strong.
"Sara Pierce," Sara said.
The familiar, nasty feeling of jealousy crept over Sara. She resented women who looked like Ash, just a bit. They could look however they wanted and still hold onto their womanhood at the end of the day. No one could strip it away as easily as they could hers.
"I'm meeting up with my sibling in a bit, but I can help you get set up for now if you want," Ash offered. She glanced at the pile of Sara's stuff. Though…it looks like you might have that handled?"
Sara waved her hand dismissively. "Yeah, don't worry about it. It's fine. I didn't have that much stuff to bring, anyway." It'd been a very intentional choice. She wanted to think about home as little as possible.
"Where are you from, by the way? You've got a cute accent," Ash said.
Was that — was Ash flirting with her? She looked like a lesbian. It felt a bit judgmental, but she was butch as hell. It wasn't that much of a leap.
"I — we're in Georiga. I'm from here," Sara said.
"Yeah, but most people don't have the accent, you know? Like — I don't think there was anyone in my high school that did. But I was in Atlanta. But you've definitely got it."
The damn accent. If Sara didn't have it, she would've lied and said was from Atalanta too.
"Laurel. It's a town in Echols County," Sara said. Ash looked confused. "It's in South Georgia. Near Florida," she amended. She didn't why she bothered telling people about the county and town. No one gave a shit about it.
"Ah got it, got it. Long drive here then?"
"Yup."
"Who took you?" Ash asked.
"I drove myself," Sara said. She'd really rather not be having this conversation. She was too tired to present the image she wanted.
"Oh, no one came to help you unpack or get set up?"
"No."
"Aww, that kinda sucks. But…I don't know, at least you don't have to deal with your parents being all over your shit, you know? Mine would not leave. I had to basically kick them out once we were done with everything."
Sara realized that Ash was going to keep going until her sibling arrived. She was like one of the Grandmas that sat out porch in Summer — able to turn a simple wave into a 3-hour conversation. There was no escape from it without coming off as rude. You could only endure.
"Mhm," Sara hummed.
"They were helpful though. I definitely brought more stuff than you. Not too much more, but once you unpack it all you realize how much it is, right? I'm sure your room is going to be covered by the time you're done."
"Yeah," Sara said. She checked her phone. It was already 7:00. Ash's sibling had to be arriving soon. What event started later than that."
"If you don't care about what I'm saying, just say so," Ash said, her voice turning sharp.
Sara's head snapped up. Ash's eyes had gone hard and she'd stopped smiling. It made Sara feel like she had gotten into trouble. Her chest grew tight. Heat rushed to her cheeks.
"Sorry. I'm — I'm just tired. The ride was long and today has sort of sucked. I don't want to be rude, but I want to just lay in bed and think about nothing," Sara said.
And just like that, Ash lost her edge and smiled again. It gave Sara whiplash. Who could do something like that?
Sara heard a muffled knock on the door followed by a cry of Ash's name. Ash slipped through their shared bathroom and said, "Be there in a sec! I'm talking to my suitemate!"
"Oh let me in! I want to see them!" Ash's sibling shouted.
Ash looked back at Sara. Sara took a deep breath and forced a smile. Ash's weirdness only made Sara want to get on her good side more, if only for self-preservation. Agreeing to meet her friend was a nice step towards that. It wasn't like they'd be there for long.
"Yeah, let them in. It's cool."
Ash vanished into their room and opened their door. A moment later, a person skipped into Sara's room. It was hard not to stare. They had a mullet, scraggly facial hair, and were dressed in a crop top that did nothing to hide their breasts. They didn't look a thing like Ash. Was one of them adopted?
"Hey! I'm Sun! They/them, please. What about you?" They asked.
"She/her," Sara answered automatically. Sara didn't think people who looked like Sun existed outside of the internet. She wondered how much confidence Sun had to have to walk around like that and not care.
"It's nice to meet you! Ash and I are going to a drag show later tonight. They're letting under-21s in. Do you want to come?" they asked.
"I — no. No, I'm — that's fine," Sara said.
"She just got in. She's tired. You'll catch her another time," Ash said.
Sara relaxed and flashed Ash a smile as thanks.
"True! You'll be seeing more of me! I'll catch you later. You good to go, Ash?" Sun asked.
"Yeah, see you later, Sara!" Ash said.
They walked out Sara's door. The door clicked shut behind them. Sara walked over to the bare bed, sat, and put her head in her hands.
Here we go, she thought.
_
Sara didn't think she would ever get used to how big campus was. By foot, it would take at least 20 minutes to get from her dorm on the South side of campus to the Main Library on the North side. She could've taken the bus, but it was nice to get a feel for her new home. She'd be spending the next four years there.
On her brief walk through campus, she'd seen more unique people than she had in a month in Laurel. It put into perspective why the University of the South needed its own bus system. How the hell else was the 40,000 students of one of the biggest and best universities going to get around?
Sara was glad she had a few days before classes formally started to explore. The University had a bunch of 1st-year events that they were putting on too. She was going to go to at least one of them. She was going to make friends. She wasn't going to be the loner she was in high school. She didn't have to be.
Here, she could just be Sara. No one had to know that she'd been a boy. No one could give her any shit for it. They would only ever know her as she was. She couldn't be like Sun, who clearly didn't care at all what people thought of them. She didn't have it in her.
Sara took a seat on a bench just outside of campus North Campus. In front of her, downtown stretched out into a busy mess of tight streets and closely packed buildings. She could spot a bar from where she sat. From what she read, there was almost a hundred downtown. A lot of them you could get into with a bad fake.
She had no plans to test it, but she was curious what it'd be like to go to a party that wasn't for stuffy rich people. She'd never had more than the smallest taste of alcohol in her life or been invited to any of the small parties her classmates through in Laurel. She wanted to make up for lost time.
A bus pulled up. It was one of the city's. Sara watched the people get out. She perked up when saw Ash was one of them. She spotted Sara and jogged over. Sara stood and smiled. This was her chance at redemption.
"Hey!" she called out.
"Hey! What's up? Didn't think I'd see you here, are you waiting for a bus?" Ash asked.
Sara shook her head. "I was just walking around campus. Getting used to it before classes start."
"Have you eaten lunch yet?"
"No."
"Hungry?"
She wasn't, but Sara could tell where this was going. "I could eat, yeah."
"Hell yeah! Here — come with me. I'm meeting up with Sun and one of their friends for lunch. We're going to this Thai place everyone says is good."
Sun. Right. They seemed nice during the ten-second conversation Sara had with them. It'd be good to get to know them. It'd make them seem like less of a stereotype to her.
"Sure, that sounds great," Sara said.
"Follow me, it's close," Sara said.
They crossed the street and after a block, went up a narrow flight of indoor stairs into a surprisingly spacious restaurant. It was busy, but Sara saw Sun and their friend sitting towards the back of the restaurant. Big open windows there let in light. Ash led her over.
"Look who I found," Ash said as she sat. Sara took a seat next to her.
"Told you you'd be seeing more of me," Sun said. They gestured at their friend. "Sara, this is Emily. She/her. Emily, this is Sara, also she/her. Sara is Ash's new suitemate.
Emily was trans. She had broader shoulders and a jaw that was unfortunately pretty square. A smattering of freckles called attention away from the more masculine parts of her face though, and she had beautiful auburn hair. Her flowy white dress suited her too and made it clear what she was going for. Sara guessed she hadn't been on HRT for long. With a bit more time, she'd be much harder to clock.
"It's nice to meet you," Sara said.
"You too," Emily said. Her voice was quiet. She looked tense. Sara was glad she hid her anxiety better.
Sara spotted their waiter coming out of the kitchen towards their table. He paused as they met one of his coworkers in the middle of the restaurant and whispered something in her ear. His coworker glanced at their table. Sara caught her eyes as he did. She looked away quickly and said something to their waiter. They both laughed. Sara's chest got tight. They were obviously laughing about them.
If Sara had been alone, that wouldn't have happened. The three people she was with being so visibly queer made her stick out more. Hell, they probably assumed she was gay or something too. She hated it. She wanted people to think she was another cishet college student.
"Hey! I'm Daniel, I'll be your server," their waiter said. He smiled at them. Sara couldn't tell if it was mocking or not. She fidgeted in her chair. "Are y'all ready to order?" he asked.
"I think so, you know what y'all want?" Ash asked. Sun and Emily nodded. Ash looked at Sara. "You good?"
"Order for me. I don't care," Sara said. She felt too sick to look at any of the food. She wanted to leave more than anything, but that would cement her as rude in Ash and her friends' minds. She looked around the restaurant and caught an older-looking guy and his wife a few tables over giving their group looks. It was almost enough to make her change her mind about staying.
"No allergies?" Ash asked.
"None. I'm good."
Ash nodded and ordered for her. Emily and Sun went after her. Sara took out her phone. If she was looking at it, she could pretend to be somewhere else.
Ash nudged her. Sara jumped a little. Her heart was beating way too fast. Sun and Emily looked worried.
"You good?" Ash asked.
"I'm fine. Sorry, just — people are looking at us," Sara said. "It's weirding me out."
"That happens a lot. It's not a big deal. Just ignore it," Emily said.
"Yeah, it's awkward, but hey, maybe they're just jealous of how cool we are," Sun said. She looked around the table. "Or maybe just me. Y'all dress boring as hell. We've got the butch straight out of the 90s and two women who look like they'd die if they weren't wearing something trendy."
Emily rolled her eyes and Ash defended herself. The three of them laughed. Sara had no idea how they could be so casual about all of it. People staring at you was bad. In theory, Sara understood provocative people and outfits, but it made her skin crawl to think about being one of those people. To be noticed like that was dangerous. It meant people being mean to you and another lecture from your family about how you need to 'stop being improper.'
"What are you majoring in, by the way?" Emily asked, pulling Sara out of her thoughts. She had her hands neatly folded and was giving all her attention to Sara. She somehow seemed less anxious.
"Uh, business stuff. I'm going to apply to the Berry College of Business as soon as I can. What about you?"
"Computer Science," Emily said.
"I am too! Our schedules sort of align, so she's going to help me study. She's way better at computer stuff than I am. She could've gone to MIT," Sun said.
Emily blushed. "C'mon, that's not—"
"It so is! You're smart. Accept your smart. I demand it," Sun said. They wrapped their arm around Emily's shoulder, then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. Emily smiled and playfully battered her away. Sara wondered if they were dating.
"I'm going into Criminal Justice," Ash said.
"That's 'cause she's a fed," Sun said.
"Someone has to go try and fix it. May as well be me," she replied. "You're going to end up working for some tech giant that violates every privacy law on the books, so I don't think you've got the moral high ground."
"Least I won't be a cop," Sun said.
"Oh fuck off," Ash laughed.
They bickered back and forth. Sara chanced another look around the restaurant. Her eyes caught with the older woman again. Her heart leapt into her throat. She stood up.
"I'm going to go pee," she said.
"Bathrooms are straight back," Sun said.
Sara hurried towards them and locked herself into a stall. She needed to calm down. This wasn't a big deal. She was overreacting. People had stared at her in a place way less tolerant than this and nothing had happened. If they wanted to look at their group like they were the carnival freakshow, she couldn't do anything about it. She just had to get over it.
Fuck, it really was high school all over again.
"Sara?" Ash called out.
God, why the hell was Ash looking for her? Couldn't she sit and talk?
Sara unlocked the stall and came out. Ash was standing by the sinks. Her face was serious.
"You said you were fine, but you don't look like you are. If you're not, please just tell me. I don't like being lied to.
That sharp tone from the first time Sara had met her was back. It demanded attention and obedience. If Ash became a cop, she would be the best interrogator her department had ever seen.
"Okay."
"Okay?" Ash asked.
A burst of bright anger exploded in Sara's chest, drowning out her anxiety. Ash was intimidating, but Sara wasn't going to be bullied like this. She refused to let that part of high school repeat itself.
"What do you want from me? A fucking apology?" Sara snapped.
"Are you going to keep lying to me?"
"First of all, I don't owe you an answer for anything. Second of all, don't try to mind read me. If I tell you something, believe me. Finally, you're not going to get me to tell you what you want me to hear just because you're doing your best mafia enforcer impression, okay? Are we good?"
Ash stared back. Her stony gray eyes looked right through Sara. With every second that passed, Sara felt more and more like she'd made a mistake. She'd never seen that kind of look on someone's face before. It made her feel like Ash was seriously considering strangling her. She barely held back from apologizing.
"I don't like to be lied to," Ash repeated, then walked out of the bathroom.
The break in tension left Sara reeling. She walked over to the sink and leaned on it. That was fucking weird. What the fuck was Ash's deal? How could she look so intense? Sara should stay away, but the more time passed, the more curious she became.
She'd met nasty, manipulative people. Those were the sorts her parents kept company, with after all. The sort of rich people that laughed when one of their tenants got evicted and had nowhere else to go. Ash reminded her of them. She had the same callousness to her, but where they would've pushed until Sara gave in, Ash walked away. She was different somehow.
Sara gathered herself and marched out the door. She was going to be Ash's suitemate. They had to share space. They didn't have to be friends, but Sara needed to understand the sort of person she was dealing with. Who cared if it was a little reckless>
As Sara walked back to her table, she took a careful look around the restaurant. The older couple had left and no one else seemed to care about their group anymore. It helped her relax.
Their food was already on their table. Sun made a joke and Ash laughed. There wasn't a trace of the intensity from before. Ash may as well have been a different person. Sara couldn't help but be fascinated. She took her seat again. Ash gestured at the food she'd ordered her.
"I hope you like curry," she said.
"I've never had it," Sara admitted. If the curry tasted as good as it smelled, it'd be worth staying for itself. "I eat it with the rice?" she asked.
"Oh, you really haven't had any before, huh?" Sun asked.
"Yeah, the cook never made anything like this," Sara said.
"Cook? You had a cook?"
Shit. She hadn't meant to say that. All three of them were curious now. She tried to think of a lie. No good ones came to mind.
"I…yeah. I did."
"So were you fucking rich or —"
"What did they usually make?" Emily asked, cutting Sun off.
Sara smiled appreciatively at Emily. "A lot of cajun stuff and French stuff. Sometimes soul food if my parents weren't around.
"Cool! But to answer the question, yeah, you eat it with the rice. It's good like that."
Sara decided Emily had a nice voice. It was obvious she had put in the effort to voice training. It was still husky, but there was something almost musical about it.
Sara did as she instructed. The food was even better than it smelled. Everyone went back to eating. As they did, Sara kept stealing glances at Ash, trying to find a trace of the steel from before. There was nothing at all.
"For as much as y'all call me a cop, I have something that I know none of y'all do," Ash said.
"And that is?" Emily asked.
"Booze and weed. If y'all want to come over tonight—"
"Wait, you have some? Where the hell did you get it?" Sun asked.
"I don't tell you everything. I have to have some secrets," Ash said.
"If you have a plug here and you don't tell me —"
"I don't. I got it back at home." Ash replied.
"Damn. You better tell me if you find one."
"I will. So are you in?"
"Of course, I'm in," Sun said. They nudged Emily. "Do you want to? I don't know how you feel about that stuff."
"I'll hang out, but I don't really want any," Emily said.
"I'm in," Sara said. This was exactly what she wanted. A chance to unwind. She wondered if being under the influence would reveal something about Ash too.
She hoped it did.