Chapter Text
Losing Lauren felt like a punch in the stomach. This had an awful lot to do with the fact that she actually did punch him in the stomach.
“You jerk!” she screeched, her fist still clenched around the three gaudy rings she was wearing. “How could you do this to me?!”
Jack couldn’t answer just yet. It felt like his liver was in his throat. He was doubled over against the bedroom wall, his gut throbbing in pain.
“Answer me, dammit!” Lauren insisted shrilly. She drew back her fist again.
“No, don’t!” Jack choked, struggling to stand up straight. “I—I dunno what you want me to say—”
“I want you to apologize for fucking me up!”
“I’m not fuckin’ you up! I told you what was wrong!” Jack flinched back when she took a threatening step forward.
“I’ve done everything for you!” she said menacingly. “I’ve done nothing but love you and make sure you’re okay! I don’t deserve this!”
“You slept with your roommate’s fuckin’ brother!” Jack shot back indignantly. “I have every right to break—”
Lauren’s knuckles connected with his stomach again, and Jack hunched over in pain. Damn, for such a tiny girl, she packed a mean punch.
“It’s not my fault!” she screamed. “I hate you! Get the hell out of my room!”
Jack shuddered, trying not to vomit, and mumbled something similar to “fine.” Clutching his midsection, he stumbled out the door and into the hall.
He leaned against the door, staring at the other dormitories and wondering if the tenants had heard their fight. It was more than likely they had; the walls weren’t exactly soundproof. Oh, well. Lauren did so much yelling all the goddamn time they were probably used to it by now.
Jack had known that Lauren was bad news when they first started dating, but he had a bad habit of falling really hard really fast. His friends always advised him against it, especially when he developed feelings for women that were obviously bad news. Lauren definitely fell into that category. For Christ’s sake, her roommate told him that she’d cheated on him, and yet she had the nerve to act like the victim?!
Feeling both heartsick and physically sick, Jack shuffled slowly down the hall. Sure, Lauren was a total bitch, but he had been in love with her…just like he’d been in love with all the rest. Why for the love of God couldn’t he just make one relationship work?! Or if he couldn’t do that, why didn’t he just quit already? It was exhausting going through the motions: meet a girl, fall in love within forty-eight hours, stay with her for a month or two, somehow fuck up, hit rock bottom, rinse and repeat. Jack shook his head, his stomach still lurching.
He walked out of the dormitory and out of Lauren’s college campus. He hoped he wouldn’t have to come back anytime soon. Seeing his exes was never a very pretty experience. Jack looked up at the full moon shining overhead. Jack liked the moon. It was big, bright, and beautiful, and normally being outside in the unearthly quiet of late night would make him feel calm. But right now his heart was beating out an anxious samba in his chest, and his eyes were itchy with the unmistakable wrath of tears.
He didn’t want to go home and cry himself to sleep again, because that got old very fast. Instead, he called the only person that he knew would still be awake at this time of night.
Mark picked up on the second ring. “Hey man, what’s up?” he asked cheerfully.
The first thing Jack did was sniffle like a baby. “I-I need someone to talk to,” he whimpered. “Do you have a sec?”
Mark’s tone changed instantly. “Yeah, sure. Wanna stop by my place? I’ve got beer.”
“Yeah, yeah, a beer sounds great.” Jack began walking more quickly now that he had a destination. “I’ll be there in ten, okay?”
“You got it. The door’s open.”
Jack hung up and made it to his car. He drove quickly down the highway, squeezing his eyes shut until they throbbed every time he suspected he might start to cry.
* * *
Jack knew the door would be unlocked, so he walked right into the apartment. He could hear the telltale revving engines and profuse swearing and knew his friend was playing Rocket League.
Mark glanced up as Jack appeared in the doorway and paused the game immediately. He stood up, wiping his hands on his pajama pants.
“Hey,” he said unsurely. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”
Jack shook his head, the corners of his lips twitching. He dropped his keys unceremoniously onto the cluttered coffee table and flopped onto the couch that he’d sat on countless times.
“Lauren cheated on me, so I dumped her,” he deadpanned.
Mark sighed with a frown. “Jack…,” he murmured, lowering himself next to him. “I’m really sorry, dude, that sucks…but you had to have seen this coming. I mean, c’mon.”
“I guess I didn’t,” Jack whispered hopelessly. “I mean yeah, I see it now, but I was…I guess I was just—”
“In love with her?” Mark finished disapprovingly.
“Yeah….”
“Jack, you’re always in love with them.”
“I know….”
“You’re just gonna keep getting hurt every time if you keep this up.”
“I know….”
“So what’re you gonna do?”
Jack shrugged one shoulder, staring unseeingly at the TV. “I dunno…maybe become a monk or something?”
Mark couldn’t help laughing. “You? A monk?”
Jack blushed a little and looked away, a small smile creeping onto his face despite everything. “Sure, why not? I’d look good bald.”
“Oh yeah, you’d be so Vogue. I bet those shit-brown robes they wear would look fabulous on you.”
“Totally.” Jack turned a little and struck an exaggerated model pose that made Mark burst into a fit of giggles.
“You’re so weird,” he said amusedly, and Jack grinned. “Hey, look at that! You’re smiling!”
“Am not,” Jack fake-pouted, smiling wider.
“Are too. I see it, it’s right there.” Mark jabbed his finger forward and accidentally grazed Jack’s lips. He jerked back and laughed.
“Take it easy, there! So where’s this beer you promised me? You can’t invite an Irishman over and not have beer.”
“Calm down, Connor McLuckycharms, I’ll get your beer.” Mark stood up just as Jack took a playful swipe at him.
“Don’t be so fuckin’ racist!” the latter chortled while he walked into the kitchen. Jack leaned forward and grabbed Mark’s player two controller, quitting the A.I. game and opening up multiplayer. Mark returned with a Miller Lite in each hand.
“Yeah, sure, you can play. Thanks for asking,” he cracked. Jack laughed a little.
“Like you would’ve said no,” he responded flippantly, starting the game. He and Mark faced off on opposite teams online. A bottle of beer and many stupid jokes later, Mark won thanks to a particularly gifted twelve-year-old on his team, which sparked a debate on whether or not Mark had “skillz”.
“It was fuckin’ beginner’s luck!” Jack asserted over and over while Mark laughed in his face.
“Who you callin’ a beginner, boy?! I kicked your ass!”
“Whatever, you’re a cheater,” Jack laughed. The word cheater reminded him of why he was over in the first place, and his smile was instantly gone.
Mark sighed, noticing the change. “Jack, come on. She wasn’t worth it.”
“So what? She still meant something to me.”
“This happens every time you get feelings for someone.”
“Don’t you think I know that?” Jack snapped. “If I could stop myself from doing this, don’t you think I would?”
Mark sighed and shrugged. “What do I know, Jack? I just don’t know how to help you without telling you that this needs to stop.”
Jack nodded and looked away, staring into his mostly-empty bottle. He tipped back and sucked the dregs of alcohol out of the bottom, letting them burn his throat with ease. “But I already know that. I’m not lookin’ for advice. I just….”
Mark stared at him intensely. “You just what?”
Jack swallowed, his eyes still downcast. “I just…I dunno. I wanna just forget for a while. I hate always goin’ through these motions. Nothin’ ever changes. I can’t win. I dunno…I’m not makin’ any sense, am I?”
“You sort of are. You wanna get out of here for a while or something?”
“I guess so.”
“Where’s ‘here’, exactly?”
“Pfft, I dunno dude. This general area or somethin’? Just away from all the dumb shit that I’ve done would be enough for me.”
“So go on vacation or something. Go back to Ireland for a week.”
Jack shook his head. “That wouldn’t help. I’d just take all my stupidity with me.” Lord knew he’d probably fall in love with some redheaded Irish girl that was fucking her cable guy or something. “Not to mention I’m broke like always.”
Mark half-smiled. “Hey,” he said softly, “why not stay the night tonight? You can sleep on my couch.”
Jack smiled at him gratefully. “You don’t mind?” he assured himself, even though he’d done it countless times before and knew it would be okay.
“Nope, not a bit. I don’t have any plans tomorrow anyway.”
Jack yawned, setting his bottle aside. “Thanks, Mark. You’re a good friend.”
“I know. I’m the best, aren’t I?”
“I dunno if I’d go that far.” Jack smiled cheekily as he settled more comfortably into the couch. “Wanna play one more game before bed?”
Mark agreed, and his team won again because the same twelve-year-old returned for another round. Jack became fed up with Rocket League’s “unfair system of choosing superhuman players to fight alongside total fuckin’ idiots” and decided to turn in. Mark got him a cover and turned out the lights, going to his room to prepare for bed.
But he didn’t go to bed right away, or even within the next hour. Instead, he dragged his dusty old suitcases out from under the bed and began to scheme.
* * *
When Jack awoke that morning, he expected to have to rustle up some breakfast for himself. Mark had always been a later sleeper than him. So when he walked into the kitchen looking for something to eat, he practically jumped out of his skin when a chipper voice called, “Mornin’!”
Jack whirled around with a scream halfway up his throat and saw Mark sitting serenely at the kitchen table with a mug of coffee in his hands. He breathed out heavily.
“Jesus! You gave me a fuckin’ heart attack!” He laughed a little, trying to calm down. “What’re you doin’ up so early?”
Mark stood up slowly with a smug smile. “I’ve been thinking….”
“Thinkin’? You? I don’t buy it.”
“Yeah, I know, it’s so crazy.” Mark reached into the cabinet and pulled out some Cinnamon Toast Crunch. He poured bowls for the both of them. “But listen, I know how beat up you get about these relationships, yeah?”
Jack gulped, his smile lessening. “Uh…yeah, I guess.”
“I mean we both know you beat yourself up over it and always think it’s your fault or something,” Mark said bluntly as he served breakfast. He beckoned for Jack to join him.
“Yeah, so? What of it?” Jack said defensively as he sat down and dug in. “I can’t help how I feel.”
“I know that, and I wanna help. I think I might have the cure for your little cycle.” Mark grinned at him conspiratorially.
“And…what is it?” Jack asked warily.
“Two words, my friend.” He paused for dramatic effect, and Jack wanted to kick him in the kneecap. “Road trip.”
Jack continued to stare at him for a minute or two and waited for him to say he was joking, but Mark just kept smiling like he was a huge genius. Jack spluttered into laughter.
“A road trip?! Are you crazy?”
“C’mon, it’ll be fun! Just the two of us, gas station food, the world’s largest ball of twine….”
“That sounds so lame!”
“Lamer than laying around your apartment all day wondering why you always end up alone?”
“Hey now, that’s a little harsh,” Jack countered, mostly because it was right on the money. He stirred his cereal restlessly. “I dunno, Mark, I don’t think it’ll really help….”
“Why not? You said you wanted to get away from here for a while. What better way than a road trip?”
“I didn’t say I wanna get away from here. I just said I wanted to get away from it all.”
“How is that any less arbitrary?”
Jack laughed a little. “I have no idea, man.” He looked up at Mark and tried to gauge his thoughts. He continued to smile like a maniac. “Are you really serious about this?”
“Totally! We could just drive for a while, see some sights, drink cheap beer, and come back whenever we’re ready.”
“What about work?”
“I work from home. It won’t be an issue if I bring my laptop.”
“What about me?”
“Aren’t you between jobs right now?”
Jack had to admit he was. His last position had been seasonal and ended a few days ago. He hated his useless major more with each passing day.
“It means I can’t pay for anythin’, though.”
“You can help out here and there. It’s not a problem. This isn’t gonna be an expensive adventure anyway.”
Jack sighed and drummed his fingers thoughtfully. The more he thought about the offer, the more tempting it became. It would be getting out of the rut for a while, which could only be good, because he was tired of being stuck in the same emotionally draining cycle day after day. Plus he’d be with Mark, who he’d always trusted, even when his ideas turned out to be fruitless or dumb.
“So when do you wanna leave?” Jack asked, resigning himself to his fate.
Mark’s face lit up. “You really wanna do it?! Great, I was afraid you’d say no!” Mark shoveled down the rest of his food. “Today, if you want. I’ve got all my shit packed. We can swing by your place to get some clothes and stuff and then we can head out.”
“Head out to where?” Jack demanded, both amused and concerned.
“Anywhere! I have a sort of rough plan laid out. We’ll talk about it on the way, okay?”
“‘Rough plan?!’” Jack hurried after Mark, who had basically sprinted into his room to get his suitcases out. “Mark, wait! Where the hell are we going?! We can’t just leave!”
“Sure we can! It’s called adventure!” Mark spun and grinned at Jack in a way that made him fear for his safety. “No more plans, no more ruts! It’ll be fun!”
“Is this even a survivable plan?!”
Mark laughed. He walked forward and grabbed Jack’s shoulders, shaking him lightly in a way that was kind of endearing and kind of annoying.
“C’mon, dude, don’t you trust me?” he insisted good-naturedly. “You know I wouldn’t steer you wrong.”
“Maybe not on purpose,” Jack defied, but he rolled his eyes with a smile. “Fine, let’s just go. But if I die I’m totally gonna come back and haunt your ass.”
“Good, I’ll need the company.” Mark winked and turned around to grab his bags. “I’m parked out back. Follow me.”
Jack trailed after him as they walked out into the hall and rode the elevator to the parking lot. His heart began to beat out a nervous rhythm in his chest. Was he really just going to hoof it out into the middle of nowhere with no reason or destination? What kind of person did he think he was?!
He glanced at Mark, who was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement, and shrugged inwardly.
Ah, well, he thought. Not like I can let him down.