Chapter Text
Jess didn’t quite know how he ended up here; at this familiar door just outside of the hive. Or he did but he didn’t want to admit why. Too much weight and guilt in those thoughts. The others would probably tell him there was nothing to feel guilty about and that was why they wouldn’t understand any of it.
He reached out and knocked on the worn wood, his hand sluggish and trembling. There was a sound from within. Like someone had just kicked something over. They didn’t come to the door, though and they seemed bent on ignoring Jess. Two full minutes passed before Jess knocked again against his better judgment. Showing up this late at night wasn’t welcome for most people but he couldn’t shake the desperation welling in his chest.
The wood was rough under his dry knuckles but he kept rapping until he felt the skin crack. The door slammed open, crashing against the opposite wall, and a biting voice started to berate him. “Do you have nothing better to do than bother me in the middle of the ni-”
Wolfe’s voice died out at the tail end of his sentence. Their eyes locked together for a long tense moment. The anger quickly simmered out in Wolfe’s face, replaced by annoyance and…something akin to concern. It was strange but not entirely unwelcome. He could use concern rather than panic right now.
A firm hand grasped his shoulder and tugged him inside the small cozy home Wolfe shared with Santi. Jess went with it. He didn’t have the energy to protest and insist that he was fine anymore. Wolfe would always know better.
“What’s wrong, Jess?”
His voice was soft. Almost too soft for Jess’s liking. Maybe he had passed out somewhere between Wolfe’s home and his new residence. His name was called and he realized he hadn’t even spoken once. He tried to talk, but his tongue felt heavy and the taste of salt clogged his throat. Oh. he had been crying. That’s why Wolfe was looking at him like that. Like a soldier checking in with their injured comrade.
Jess sucked in a hard breath, “The house. It’s too close to all the wreckage. The-there’s too much smoke. It reminded me of M-” He choked up, unable to continue. Christ, he couldn’t even say her name. Couldn’t even put the respect on it that it deserved. Pathetic.
“I told them not to move you so soon…” Wolfe had spoken to himself. Good, Jess’s words had failed him entirely. And the idea of Wolfe worrying about his well-being before tonight almost broke something fragile in him that he had barely been holding onto. If he had tried to speak, surely a sob would have just come out.
Wolfe’s hand returned to his shoulder and steered him towards the couch. It felt like heaven just to sit down on something soft and comfortable. Santi had to have been the one who had decorated. Everything was far too homely to be Wolfe’s prickly touch.
His eyes darted over when Wolfe sat down and spotted a book sitting on the armrest. So he hadn’t disturbed Wolfe’s slumber, just his reading. From the looks of it, it was a newly printed one. If he didn’t feel so broken he might’ve smiled at seeing Thomas’s (and once Wolfe’s) work already being put to use.
That sob he had been holding back finally broke free. You’re acting like a child. He was waiting for Wolfe to point it out or say something about the weakness he was displaying. Of course, he knew deep down Wolfe would never say that to him. That was a cruelness reserved for Callum Brightwell.
“Sorry for interrupting your night.” There was nothing else he could give except for an apology. This was the last thing Wolfe must want to deal with. Considering the knocked-over stack of blanks he had probably kicked in anger before Jess knocked again.
“Where else would you have gone if not me? Khalila and Thomas are both far too busy and would end up being overbearing. Glain and Dario are more likely to convince you to drink away your problems. And we both know Nic would simply drag you right back here. You’re grown enough to not need coddling but far too young to be drowning your sorrows in a bottle. Correct?”
The phrase ‘like father like son’ came to mind. He had always dismissed it because he was nothing like his father, but Wolfe reminded him so painfully of it. Far too analytical and pessimistic for their own good. It made him grimace, “Yeah. Something like that.”
“We have an extra room. It is a bit of a mess at the moment but Niccolo can help me clear it in the morning. You can stay there until the smoke and the wreckage are gone if you’d like?” Wolfe reached for his book and leaned back, face frozen as he waited for Jess’s response. His offer wasn’t of kindness but of the understanding he had craved.
Affection blossomed in his chest; the odd type he felt for Wolfe. The affection he had once tried to feel for Callum. He wiped at his face to rid himself of the remaining tears lingering there. “Thank you.” He wanted to say ‘for everything’, but he didn’t have the energy to try and put his emotions into words. Not right now.
“Don’t start with all the gratitude, boy. It doesn’t suit you.” Despite his words, there was a faint smile on Wolfe’s face. For the first time in a very long time, he felt safe.
Jess breathed out, a breath clear of the weight that had settled there so long ago. Wolfe didn’t push him to talk anymore. This night had taken the turn he needed. No one was trying to get him to open up or do something stupid. Deep down he had just wanted someone there that he loved even if he couldn’t say the words out loud. That someone was Wolfe. He used to hate that man with every fiber of his being. The irony of it all.
Heat settled securely around his shoulders in the form of a throw blanket that had been behind him. There was also a hand in his hair; completely still. He was giving Jess the incentive. And so he fell into it, tipping sideways into Wolfe’s lap. Jess’s aching eyes followed the flicker of flames in the fireplace in an attempt to focus on his surroundings.
His mother had once done this for him. A very long time ago. The memory was muddled and hard to grasp, but the steady fingers brushing his hair back brought him to that night. It was different, though. His mother had given him overwhelming affection in odd bursts before stripping it away from him just as quickly. Wolfe, despite all his dourness, would be there as he always had to offer support where it was needed. He didn’t always know what to give but at least he tried.
Jess wasn’t going to expect this often. Wolfe probably didn’t have it in him and Jess wouldn’t even know how to accept it. But he would have it tonight and any other time he might truly deserve it.
A comfortable haze had overtaken him and the exhaustion was finally starting to settle in. Along with a headache from the crying and the smoke. Wolfe’s hand didn’t ever still and he only ever pulled it away to absently flick a page in his book. It didn’t seem like either of them was going to be moving anytime soon. “I’m tired.”
“Then sleep, Jess.”
If he had been any form of lucid, things would have been awkward. But in this state between consciousness and the sleep he desired, everything felt right. His tongue slipped, forming words it hadn’t in a relatively long time.
“Goodnight, Da.”