Chapter Text
09:47pm - I have nowhere else to go and for once, I cannot sleep. I suppose I have you to thank for that, my indomitable dragon, and while I try to ease my mind, I've decided to take up your bloody habit of writing everything down. Everything important, that is.
Em, are you aware that you talk in your sleep?
After spending so many nights together in Krystjan's abode I thought I would have made this discovery before today. But I suppose there had often been a wall between us and, when not, you were either over exhausted by your efforts with Fae magic or with physical exertion - especially when Lilja taught you how to chop those bloody logs.
For now you sleep soundly, deeply, snoring loudly on the bed, interrupted only by such phrases as "Grisha's theory... ridiculous' and 'no more snow please' and I must tell you that I agree with both statements entirely.
Twice you have said my name. So breathless and airy, not at all how you say anything else - or, indeed anything I've ever heard from you before. If you read this, you will surely kill me and I am certain you will make it slow. If your eyes do happen to skim these words, at least say my name once more, just as you have been doing tonight. Say my name while you skewer me. I wouldn't mind at all.
If you say it a third time I fear I will be up all night, waiting for the fourth, the fifth. It is a spell when you say my name just like that.
Like a fool, I just tried whispering your name into the darkness. I should have known that it would only work to put this feeling of bewitchment on me tenfold. For further investigation on this effect I will try again when you are awake. Yes, for you will be most refreshed after the deep sleep you are currently having. You'll be partaking in all manner of activities on the morrow and I am excited to share them with you. We could see the gardens, I know you have no special interest in flowers but perhaps you would be willing to indulge me. Maybe we could bring baskets of petals to the hotel, scatter them on the bed and
11:03pm: Forgive me, my thoughts ran ahead of me.
Once more you said my name and I confess, I span back time twice to hear it again and again. Say it enough and I will be dizzier than if I'd had a barrel of the finest faerie wine.
You awoke not long ago, you reached for my side of the bed and, finding it empty, bolted upright. Your hair a wild mess, your hideous nightgown all tucked around you in a most unflattering way. And then I put my journal and pen down and your eyes found me. You relaxed instantly, every part of you, watching me walk to your side and pull the blankets over. You probably won't recall or - more likely - have chosen to scrub it from your mind entirely, but you held my hand, tucking it between your face and the pillow. I was completely immobile. As close to you as I was, I wondered if you would say my name again and - if you did - what you would think of me tomorrow, if I committed to all the things that run through my mind when you say my name like that.
You would have me hanged. Perhaps dissected for your exhibition. Feed me to Shadow afterwards.
It was only when you started drooling and turned over that I returned to the chair in the corner. I'm coming to bed, Em, I promise but every time I try to calm down, I seem to be getting myself all worked up again. There's nothing to be done about it I suppose.
I must simply slip into bed beside you as if you were any other conquest, as if the thought of it didn't make my skin burn hot, as if you were not the sole reason for my happiness in this world and the next.
Of course, I should have known from the beginning that it would be like this, for you are a dragon after all, and what is a dragon without her fire.