Chapter Text
When Kusuke was still young, before his competitive nature really set in, he would ask me where I would go when my telepathy hurt so bad I was curled in my bed in pain. I once told him to get away from the voices I float above the clouds. It’s far enough away from people that I don’t hear them telepathically, and low enough away from planes. He would ask what it was like, up there in the clouds.
I would say, it’s quiet, it’s empty, and it’s beautiful.
Kusuke laughed and thought about what an introverted loner I was.
It’s thoughts like his that drove me up to the clouds so often. Kusuke was always judging, always watching me, always asking why I doesn’t smile more, talk more, play during recess with the other kids, and why I was the one with powers when I didn’t use them for good.
Kusuke laughed when he heard about my accident at school.
Bullies picked on Akechi, kicking him so hard bruises bloom on his arms and blood spurts from his mouth. Akechi’s cried and I couldn’t just stand there and do nothing.
The classroom explodes with his anger, my powers springing from me, too powerful to hold back any longer.
And when we moved my mom and dad were worried when I didn’t make friends. They told me to relax and ‘just be myself.’
You can’t be yourself when yourself nearly gets everyone killed.
Saiki lay in a hospital bed, the shadowy faces of doctors roaming in and out of view, faces he thinks he should know but doesn’t. Then he’s on the beach, riding a too-high wave, then crashing and swallowing a mouthful of saltwater.
When he turns desperately to the shore, Kusuke’s cat tank awaits him, with its brilliant laser and a soft meow. It hits Kusuo right between his ribs, sending him flying.
A kaleidoscope of images awakens Saiki, and the dreams still linger like a clinging scent, even when thoughts pour into his skull. It’s cotton balls of dyed pink and peach that Kusuo longs to teleport to this morning. He sits up and closes his eyes, rubbing his sore temples.
The dreams weren't his own, but rather the fragmented dreams of others, mixed with his. This power didn’t surface often, something the limiters pretty much buffered out, but given his defenses were recently weakened and his stressful weekend, it makes sense this power re-emerged, no matter how much of a pain it is.
Peering into others' dreams makes Saiki feel even pricklier than normal. Dreams are the subconscious mind in its unfiltered state. Meaning Saiki sees horrible nightmares followed by disgusting wet dreams. Either way, Saiki can barely stand his own dreams when they come, not to mention having to deal with others.
Saiki drops his hands into his lap and blinks the morning sun out of his eyes.
He fiddles with his limiters, ensuring that both are screwed on tightly, then watches the clouds out the window drift lazily over the morning sun, longing to teleport there with a morning tea and drown out the growing thoughts of his neighbors.
Saiki slept nearly 10 hours but he is feeling off. He’s still so bone-tired that the world is distorted, fuzzy around the edges. He supposes that’s what happens when your brother tried to kill you two days ago.
His clock chimes 7 am and Saiki decides then that he has no intention of going to school. It’s risky because people will ask where he is tomorrow, and draw unwanted attention, but his control of his powers are okay at the very best and he can’t risk an accident. Plus, he’s so shaky he’s not sure he could even make it a whole day.
Goodbye, perfect attendance.
He listens for his parents downstairs, focusing in on the two voices of his mother and father in the kitchen.
‘I’m too drained to go to school.’ Saiki tells them.
His mother responds with her thoughts at once, ‘Oh Ku, that’s fine. Do you need anything? Are you feeling sick?’
I need not to be bothered he thinks, sighing as he rolls onto his stomach to avoid bumping his limiters. ‘I’ll be fine.’ He telepathically replies.
‘Kusuo, I could always take a day off work if you’re feeling sick.’ His father’s voice cuts in.
‘You just want a day off and you’re the one who said I was feeling sick.’ He retorts.
Oh, what if Ku is getting bullied?! His mother frets in her thoughts.
He ignores this and reaches for the germanium ring on his desk. The moment the blessed object touches his finger, the voices shut off and silence reigns.
Saiki closes his eyes, pulls his blankets over his head, and lets sleep take him.
The next time he wakes, it’s mid-afternoon and he’s slept nearly 6 hours. He’s overheated and sticky from sweat as the blanket is still over his head. He levitates it off himself and sits up, rubbing his tired eyes. His mouth feels tacky in its dryness and he scoops some water from a nearby glass and floats it into his mouth. With that done, Saiki stretches, a yawn cracking his jaw. His stomach rumbles and he huffs, slipping off the ring. After hours of total silence, the rush of voices nearly makes him wince, but he needs to check if his parents are gone and no one is coming to call before he can leave the sanctity of his room to retrieve food.
His eyes cross as he implements clairvoyance, checking on nuisance #1 first.
His father is at the office, licking shoes as usual.
His mother is at the grocery store, wondering how much food she should buy ‘ if Ku’s friends are coming over again!’
Not a chance. He scoffs to himself. He doesn’t want his classmates to keep coming over, they always cause some havoc.
He checks on Kaido next, and the boy is zoning out in class, his thoughts on Saiki, ‘ He’s never absent. This must be the work of Dark Reunion!’
Kuboyasu is thinking, ‘What if some punks got to Saiki and he’s in a ditch somewhere? He’s pretty weak so he couldn’t take anyone in a fight.’
‘Where’s Saiki today? Oh no! I hope he’s not sick or worse! I should bring him some soup later and he can feel better just by me gracing his presence.’ That’s Teruhashi.
Good grief. Miss one day and everyone thinks I’m dead. At least, Saiki thinks, they’re all not going to get in his way, until Teruhashi comes by after school. He teleports downstairs and notes the voices aren’t as all-consuming as they were before his nap, however, there’s still a weakness in his legs, and his whole body still feels sore. It’s what he likes to call a power hangover. He opens the fridge door with his mind and starts levitating the soba ingredients into a bowl, igniting the water with pyrokeneslysis and watching it come to a swift boil. This isn’t just because he’s lazy, he’s also testing his powers to be sure there are no issues. He wouldn’t put it past Kusuke to manipulate his limiters or something before their fight.
With the food made, he floats it beside him as he walks back upstairs and places it carefully on his desk. He flicks on the TV with his mind and uses that to drown out the ever-constant telepathic chatter.
There’s a new anime on, a slice of life that Saiki lets himself settle into, and not many of his classmates talk about slice of lives, so hopefully he won’t get spoiled. He likes slice of lives. They’re the most normal an anime can get and the sheer averageness of it reminds him of Satou, of the life he envies. He sips on some noodles and smiles to himself.
I should check on Satou, and make sure no one is disturbing his peace. Clarvoicence!
He’s doodling on the edge of his paper, half-listening to the teacher. So beautifully average!
Saiki tunes back into the anime, smiling. It’s relaxing to take a day off of school, and if he wasn’t feeling so awful, he’d consider ditching more often. But that causes unwanted attention so it’s not really worth it. He finishes his lunch by the time the anime just introduces a new character, who is totally doting on the main lead and it’s clear this is about to turn into a romance anime. Good grief, why does everyone have to fall in love? Can’t there be one anime about platonic friendships? (Besides the anime about me, that is.)
He blinks and the TV shuts off, closing his eyes, he lets all the soreness in his bones he’s been ignoring all day be known. He hates feeling drained like this; like he never quite woke up fully. Saiki transports his empty bowl to the kitchen sink and collapses onto his bed, making the springs groan. He flings his glasses onto the bedside table and closes his eyes. With nothing to focus on, the thoughts around him get louder.
/I don’t want him to remodel the kitchen, I like the way it is now.
/What’s the point of inviting her over if she's not gonna suck my dick? Like what’s even the point of her?
/I can’t believe how good that new movie was, it was insane how the killer was the main character’s twin all along!
/I’m so hungry. I haven’t eaten at all today and can’t afford to buy groceries tomorrow, what am I going to do?
/God I hate her, I wish she was dead.
/How much longer can I keep going?
Despite the ever-present, often depressing thoughts of those around him, his powers have pretty much trained him to sleep in any condition. But today he feels like an exposed nerve, the prodding of each thought sending him closer to that edge of sadness he’s been tightrope walking all day long. He’s about two more awful thoughts away from slipping on the germanium ring and his noise-canceling headphones and tuning out the world for the rest of the evening. It’s times like these he wishes he had a secret bunker. He considers going to the bottom of the ocean or up in the clouds but even that sounds like too much effort, since he’s so depleted from the fight, plushis limiter was off for so long.
He opens his eyes and stares at the germanium ring glittering innocently on his bedside table. He can’t let himself become reliant on the ring. It causes more harm than good in the long run, and too much of a good thing is where Saiki always runs into problems.
It’s only for really bad days, like this morning, he justifies half-heartedly.
So he turns on a playlist on his nearby computer, soft music cutting through some of the incessant thoughts he’s hearing. Screwing his eyes shut, Saiki tries to settle enough to sleep.
/I gotta take the dog out soon.
/Where’s the keys?
/When will I learn to stand up to those bullies?
/No one would care if I wasn’t here tomorrow.
/Saiki is going to love my present! I’m so thoughtful and considerate, he’s bound to say “oh wow” when I open the door. Ohhh he’s probably all flushed from fever and has a sore throat, poor Saiki! I’ll nurse him back to health with my looks alone!
And he was just about to drift off again too, good grief.
Saiki sits up and puts on his glasses. He could either open the door and tell her he's too sick for company, ignore her until she goes away, or teleport to a deserted island.
He can’t wait for her to just go away, since he’s not at school, she knows he’s here. She’s persistent like that. And he’s too tired to go to an island.
He’ll just go to tell her he’s too sick for company. He puts on his best sick face and teleports to the front door, opening it slowly.
“Hi Saiki, I- Oh my god Saiki you look terrible! I knew you were sick when you weren’t at school but I didn’t know it was this bad!” Teruhashi shrieks, making Saiki wince.
Whoops , he may have overdone it by making his skin a sickly greyish color, he doesn’t want to make her think he’s dying.
‘Just sick.’ He feigns a weak cough into his elbow for emphasis.
Oh Saiki, poor thing! I would love to take care of him! Teruhashi thinks, beaming even though she really should be looking pitying at Saiki’s act of sickness. It’s exhausting and Saiki frankly wants to go back to bed.
He hears his mother’s thoughts come hurrying into proximity, meaning she’s coming home with the groceries. This could be his out!
He sends a telepathic message to his mother, ‘Teruhashi is here. Please tell her I’m too sick to see anyone. I really can’t do this today.’ He’s not even exaggerating. And his mother seems to pick up on that and promises she will.
“Saiki, I got you this.” Teruhashi holds out a wrapped gift, I hope he says “oh wow” when he opens it!
Yeah, not happening Saiki thinks to himself, but takes the gift, using his X-ray vision to see a week's worth of packaged coffee jellies! Saiki may actually give Teruhashi an “oh wow” just for that. He opens it and lets his face show his excitement, though it compels Teruhashi to push her way inside, her thoughts exploding with how cute Saiki looks when excited, which makes his smile vanish. Terushiashi pushes past Saik and their bare arms brush, Saiki getting a nauseating flash of places Teruhashi has been in the last day with his psychometry. It nearly makes him stumble but he merely pulls back into the hall, with no choice but to let her in just so he doesn’t have to touch her again.
Touching without his gloves is never pleasant but it’s far worse on days when his powers are particularly loud and demanding his attention like today. The place where her arm brushed his feels like fire ants writhing under his skin. He rubs the place on his skin, then scratches hard with his nails, his breath hitching imperceptibly quiet.
Saiki looks bad, maybe I should let him rest. No, you came all this way, surely I can do something to help him feel better while I’m here!
Teruhashi’s thoughts sweep aside the discomfort under his skin and he nearly groans with his barely-used throat.
The backdoor to the garage opens and in comes his mother with a handful of tote bags, bursting with groceries.
“Oh hello Teruhashi! Hi, Ku! Can you help me with these groceries?”
Kusuo nods and hurries from the room, helping scoop up a few bags and making eye contact with his mother. She nods and he picks up her thoughts, loud in their direction at him. ‘I’ll tell her you need to rest. You do actually look pretty peaky Ku.’ She adds, that it’s only because his mother is helping him that he refrains from making a remark about how he can change his body chemistry to look any way he likes.
He comes back in with an armful of groceries and meets Terushashi’s inquisitive gaze in the kitchen.
“Is there anything I can help with?” Teruhashi directs her question behind Saiki where his mother drops the last tote on the counter.
“No, thank you very much! It was so sweet of you to come over. I see you brought Ku his favorite!” She nods to the coffee jelly Kusuo left on the dining table.
“It was no problem, really, when I noticed Saiki wasn’t in class today I got worried about him and guessed he was sick, he’s always on time and he’s never missed a day so…”
As Teruhashi prattles on, Saiki telepathically groans to his mother, ‘Please get her out of here.’
‘Be patient, Ku. We have to at least be polite.’ His mother thinks back.
Screw polite, he keeps to himself.
“…So here I am!” Teruhashi finishes with a blinding beam.
“That’s very sweet of you to drop by. But yes, Kusuo is sick today, and since he doesn’t get sick because of-“
‘Mom’ Kusuo warns, his mother seconds away from revealing his powers.
She panics and pivots, “Because of his immune system! Yes, that’s it! He’s a very healthy kid and never got sick ‘cause he’s super resistant to germs!”
Good grief . Saiki mentally face-palms.
“Anyway, since he hardly gets sick, when he does it really affects him, so I’m gonna have to send him back up to bed to rest some more.” His mother simpers in her kindest tone.
A vision of Teruhashi mopping his sweating brow as he mumbles her name in his sleep pops into her head and makes Saiki’s head hurt.
“Oh, okay! That makes sense. Well… I hope you feel better soon Saiki!” She waves and sweeps from the house, disappointment coloring her thoughts as she closes the door with a soft click.
Saiki puffs out a breath and nods to his mother, ‘Thanks. I owe you.’ He mumbles in her head before speed putting away all the groceries, as a thank you. She beams at him but her full smile isn’t there, and Saiki can hear the worry in her head.
‘I’m fine. Just gonna sleep some more.’ He tells her before she can ask.
“Will you tell me what’s wrong?” She asks anyway.
I wish I knew he sighs, ‘Nothing, I’m just tired and overused my powers.’ he won’t tell her how Kusuke almost killed him and kidnapped his friend and he really did overuse his powers so it’s not that far out of the realm.
“Ku, there’s more you’re not telling me.” She replies, oddly direct. She only gets this way when she knows she’s facing someone being stubborn (ie her two sons, her husband, and her dad)
‘There’s a kid in class who knew me from before we moved.. I told him about my powers because he figured me out. I think he’s going to out me.’ Half-lies are also half-truths, so Kusuo doesn’t think too much about lying to his mom. He is stressed about this, but being stressed about people finding out about his powers is literally his full-time occupation so that part at least feels normal.
His mother’s thoughts explode with concern for Kusuo, anger at this boy, and worry about having to move again. Her thoughts tangle with his for a moment and he blinks to clear his mind enough to reply before she can, ‘but it’s fine. I’ve handled it before, and I will again.’
This, however, far from reassures his mother. Kurumi looks stricken, and her thoughts repeat his words ‘I’ve handled it before’ and her eyes fill with tears. She’s always been compassionate about how he has to deal with his powers, ‘always thinking you’re all alone in this, Ku. I know you and I can try to help what you’re going through .’ his mother told him twice already, both on occasions where Kusuke had pushed Saiki to his limits or when his limilters broke.
Kusuo shakes his head, ‘this isn’t anything. I’ll sleep it off.’ he tells her, trying to telepathically sound compassionate.
“Alright, but reach out if you need to, please Ku.” She begs.
He knows he won’t.
He nods and teleports upstairs and sleeps without even taking off his glasses.
Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ
Saiki sleeps for another three hours and when he wakes again his mouth is dry and his stomach grumbles. He hears his mother's and father's thoughts, his father is just wondering if he’s awake as his mother sets the table, the smell of warm food seeps under his door, making him wonder if the smell woke him.
He stretches, adjusting his glasses where they skewed, and climbs out of bed. He’s feeling almost normal now, the thoughts of the neighborhood, now more active as families sit down for dinner, are more like their usual background noise.
He forgoes his ring and comes downstairs before his parents can call him for dinner. All he wants to do right now is bring his food to his room and read this week's Jump, but no way would he get out of dinner so easily.
The thing about his parents is that they’re talkative, happy-go-lucky, and slow eaters. This makes for a bad dinner combination saying as Saiki is the exact opposite.
When he sits at the table and is handed a plate, his father is already there, going on about his day at work. He greets Kusuo with a wave.
He’s more hungry than he realized and is soon going for seconds, floating the extra spring rolls onto his plate. This is the best part about being at home with his parents, he can use his powers as much as he likes (within the limits of morality and all) even if it comes with the cost of his father.
“Kusuo, Amp broke my Darth Vader model.” His father whines, and Kusuo ignores him in favor of diving into his tiramisu.
“Kusuo, help me fix it please, even if you have to revert it back to its pieces!”
‘No.’ He replies, ignoring his father and mother’s back and forth after that.
Saiki decides going up to sleep some more is a good idea, though he’s tired of sleeping, it's the only thing he can think of to recharge himself. The casual psychic ability shouldn’t be draining him this much, maybe he should not use his powers much until he’s feeling better.
Vowing to act like a normal human tomorrow at school, he takes what his mom calls a painkiller and he hopes it's enough to lessen the whole body ache that creeps deeper into his bones as night falls.
He crawls into bed and wills the pain away, wills his mind to relax, for his worries to not surface, no more rearing of their ugly heads, for one night, please.
Things since his ultimate fight with Kusuke have been jarring, and Saiki knows he must acknowledge these unresolved feelings he has toward his brother, but he spent so long hating him that now trying to think of him makes his stomach hurt. He misses having a brother who cared, and it stings that his tried to kill him.
Huh, some comedy anime.
Saiki laughs coldly at the ceiling, wanting to not think about anything for a solid 8 hours. So he waits for sleep to come, chasing away stray thoughts from neighbors and his parents with the germanium ring. The silence is enough to usher sleep to him.
Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ
He didn't really ever try to understand my powers, or what they did to me. Yes, Kusuke made my limiters, but he also made me jump through literal hoops to get them. All in the name of “research to make sure these limiters will help out my baby brother.” Ugh. All Kusuke ever did was put me through test after test, he’d laugh when I’d get overstimulated in public places, taking frantic notes on his phone. He’d treat me like his rival, his experiment, his enemy.
In the end, I guess that’s all he was to me too.
Somehow, waking up today feels worse than yesterday. His dreams were mostly blurred memories of his fight with Kusuke, but he’d hurt Kusuke terribly, blood splattered that annoying cat tank.
The moment he sits up and slips off his ring, the room closes in, and voices both out loud and thoughts bombard his senses. The furniture starts to float and he accidentally apports his copy of Life Lessons with Uramichi Oniisan with one of his fathers downstairs books, as Saiki tries not to shake apart and also not alert his parents.
What a pain.
The fractures of panic from his dream tear his control apart, and suddenly his bones are literally on fire due to his pyrokinesis. He breathes ice to cool his body temperature down, but his pyrokinesis jumps to his chair. It’s chrispy in seconds.
When he was younger, Saiki couldn’t predict when the voices would become too much. One minute they’re manageable, the next, he’s on the floor, hands uselessly covering his ears. It’s always useless and the voices only recede when he’s asleep and not around to enjoy the silence.
The unique agony of telepathy follows him, and only his recent germanium discovery has given him real release.
He gets so jumpy when he has to use the ring that it’s not worth it on a day like today though. He slips it into his pocket just in case.
He gets up and resets time on his chair, eager to get this day started and subsequently over with. Being this tired after waking is a pain but also he can’t miss school twice. He already missed a half day from the Polen Incident and this flair-up is tarnishing his impeccable attendance. He’ll just have to go on as he has done in the past. It’s just the annoyance of having powers and also hating people and socialization and school. And he’s done this year 4 times already so he’s bored and has more time to overthink like he’s doing now. Like how he’s still not prepared to fight a volcano or be a step ahead of his brother.
He shakes his head to shake the thoughts away and gets dressed with an uncomfortable knot that feels like dread or nausea or both in his stomach.
He skips breakfast in order to teleport right by school so he can avoid walking with anyone in his already bad mood. He’s not really hungry due to the knots eating his gut.
The moment he’s in the radius of PK Academy, he knows it’s going to be a long day. The voices seem to be shouting today. He wants to teleport home but as he’s rounding the corner Nendo pops out and Kusuo has to hold his powers back from flinging Nendo into the lower atmosphere. He curses himself for his near slip-up. He needs to control himself.
It’s hard to do this when he’s so antsy, hyper-aware of everyone around him, feeling their eyes on him are like fire, and having to deal with Nendo on top of it.
“Hey, buddy! What’s up? You’re jumpy today!”
Saiki shrugs and walks on, as Nendo blunders on after him, unaware of just how much he’s grating on Saiki’s already frayed nerves.
“Saiki, pal, what are you doing for spring break?”
‘Busy doing nothing’ he replies to Nendo, though he’s never been sure if Nendo can hear him since he can’t hear Nendo’s thoughts.
“I’m going on a cruise with my ma and that magician guy, wanna come?”
‘After the last time you got stranded on a desert island, you want to go back out on a cruise?’ Saiki muses, in total shock at Nendo's idiocy as usual.
Saiki can hear Kaido coming but it’s not any more annoying than if he’d snuck up on him too.
“Hey Saiki, Nendo! I learned a new card trick, I HAVE to show you. It will beat back the forces of Dark Reunion for sure!”
Saiki can’t hold back a flinch at the volume of Kaido’s voices, both out loud and in his head. The first few drops of rain have started to pelt them and the sky grumbles along with Saiki’s darkening mood.
Girls shriek as the rain pours from the sky in earnest now, so cliché, it only happens in stories for convenient timing, Saiki sighs, his hair already sopping as the others sprint inside. He has no need for running since he can dry off in an instant, so he walks peacefully behind his sprinting classmates, glad for the momentary reprieve from his noisy companions. Their thoughts are still overly loud and when he gets inside the building, sliding off his shoes and opening his locker, his clothes stick uncomfortably to his skin, and he has the sudden and desperate urge to rip them off. Instead, he thrusts his locker open, slips on his inside shoes, and makes a beeline to the bathroom, his hands shaky. Inside the stall, he locks it with his mind and dries himself off with pyrokinesis so quickly he’s steaming, nearly starting to overheat.
He tears at his tie just enough to fling it off but nearly rips it with the force of his tug. The voices are screaming into his head, the 200-meter radius sounding like the whole world. He even checks that his limiter is still in.
His stomach twists as he hears Teruhashi’s thoughts, followed quickly by the quite literal stampede of her followers. He stands and lifts the toilet lid, blanching and retching as his stomach attempts to expel what little is left in him. The voices and the nausea build together and Saiki pulls in rapid gasps as he reins his knee-jerk reaction (to teleport to a remote ice tundra and collapse until he’s cooled off) and instead focuses on breathing and lowering his body temperature.
He wretches on nothing but bile and spits into the toilet. He flushes, the voices in his head chatting over one another.
Good grief. He sighs, sitting on the closed toilet lid and putting his head in his hands. He slips on the germanium ring and gulps a few grateful sighs as he gets his breathing back under control, the silence blanketing him like a warm sun. He waits for his shaking to recede and thinks how that could have been way worse.
“Breathe Ku. In through the nose, out through the mouth.” His mother instructs, her hands placed feather-light against his shoulders as his eyes flick rapidly around the atrium. The swirling colors of the gowns and clipping of heals against the tile, the clinking of glasses, the thoughts of each and every patron at the theatre swirling until Kusuo can’t hear himself, doesn’t know who he is or what mom is thinking. He screws his eyes shut and clamps his hands over his ears, yanking his ears down, folding them over themselves as if that will do anything against the onslaught of thoughts, sounds, thoughts, laughter, and murmured voices about ‘how irresponsible it was to bring a poorly behaved child to the theater.’
Kusuo doesn’t let his tears fall, he’ll be damned if he lets a simple outing with his mother turn into a fiasco. He’ll just have to get himself together and get used to the voices and noises and lights and heat, constricting shoes. and uncomfortable tie (that’s seriously choking him). He can do that for his mom.
He forces his eyes to open and sees that his mother has been trying to speak to him this whole time. He reads her lips until he can latch on to her thoughts amidst the horrid fog of so many voices in his head.
“Ku, breathe. You’re okay, we’re gonna get you out of here, just gotta get you to calm down a bit. So just take some deep breaths. Can you hear me, Ku?”
His head is light, dizzy from hyperventilating but he nods, unable to hear his own telepathic voice enough to speak with the mess in his head. She smiles regardless and says both out loud and in her head, “In through the nose, out through the mouth. Focus on my voice now”
Kusuo goes through the breaths with her, the hazy edges of his vision lessoning a fraction, though he still longs to rip off his tie and throw it into the sun. “Shoulders relaxed, baby. Keep taking those breaths and relax the parts of your body that feel so tense.”
He listens to her, he has no idea what else to do in this wholly panic that’s consuming his brain and fingertips and vision. He’s afraid he’ll break the building in half, or cause an earthquake or something if he doesn’t control this panic soon, he’ll demolish this place like he did in the classroom, with blood, and broken glass on the floor.
So he listens to his mom because she’s usually right.
She is. He’s starting to feel himself un-tense, shoulders relaxing from their stiff position as his breaths calm down his racing heart. Others thoughts are still pouring into his head at a rapid pace, but Kusuo can filter them out a bit better now, letting them flow right back out of his brain like he normally can.
“Good baby. Now let's go home and get you some coffee jelly in bed.” His mom cooes, and Kusuo would normally scoff at her. He is 6 after all, not a baby. But he does admit, that sounds nice.
‘But the show? I can still try to-’ Kussuo starts not even sure where he’s trying to go with this except don’t disappoint mom , but his mother shakes her head, “No baby. I’m not gonna make you do anything. Let’s go, okay?”
Kusuo nods and takes some more deep breaths as she ushers him out of the din.
Saiki takes a few steady breaths in and out, his mother's voice still lingering in his ear encouragingly. His hands stop shaking and he starts to loosen his shoulders that had come up to his ears. His tense muscles lose some of their coil. He closes the toilet lid, flushes its contents, and sits atop it.
“Yo, Saiki?” Someone bangs on the stall and Saiki starts so hard he drops his germanium ring he was fiddling with. The voices fill back in as the ring rolls out from under the stall and to the feet of Kobyasu waiting for him outside the stall.
“You okay? Class starts in a minute or so.” He warns, his thoughts a mess of I hope what I heard wasn’t puke, I hate cleaning up puke. I hope he’s okay though, Saiki is never sick, except he was gone yesterday so maybe he’s still under the weather. Either way, somethings up with him.
Saiki sighs, What a pain.
He projects to Kobyasu, ‘I’m just using the bathroom. See you in class.’
Kobyaasu sighs, knowing that Saiki is lying. Saiki sees him scoop up his ring by his feet, “Okay, I’ll hold on to this for you then. See ya soon.” And he’s out the door, his worried thoughts trailing behind him. .
And it’s not even 9 am yet. Saiki bangs his head on the bathroom stall. Good grief.
Waiting for lunch is exhausting, and classes are anything but peaceful, with the pop quiz in math and reading aloud passages for literature. He does his best to use his powers to avoid reading aloud, even if he could just project his voice into their heads, he wants to avoid using his powers until he’s charged again, or back to normal or whatever. And there’s no way he’ll talk out loud, he hasn't since he was 3.
“Hey, Saiki! Want to sit with us?” Yumehara asks.
Usually, you all just sit around me anyway. But this time he shakes his head. He’s going to the roof of a nearby building and he’s getting some peace.
He excuses himself to the bathroom and then vanishes to a building he prefers, two blocks away, where he usually comes. He sealed off the exit so now no one comes up here.
He sits and puts on the germanium ring, takes off his glasses, and just breathes for a moment. He wrestles his beating heart under control and tells himself he’s halfway there. Just 4 more hours…
The thought makes his already nauseous stomach churn.
He doesn’t eat, but sits and feels the breeze on his skin, getting acquainted with his body again, since it tends to feel not real on days when his powers are barely within his control. It’s not so scary to not feel, though. He’s too stuffed with cotton to feel anything but numb.
He relishes the silence until it’s dyed turquoise, drifting into worry. He has no idea what time it is or how long he’s been up here. Which is weird, ‘cause his memory is impeccable. He taps his fingers along his arm to come back to himself and his body, finding a stronger grip on his power control.
He puts his glasses back on, removes the ring begrudgingly, and crosses his eyes, listening for familiar voices.
“Wonder where Saiki is, it’s nearly the bell.” Kaido’s voice.
Crap, Saiki’s eyes uncross and he teleports back into the bathroom stall.
Moments later, Kaido arrives and Saiki walks out, pretending to put his lunch back in his bag.
I swore I checked in here earlier. Kaido thinks.
“Saiki! I didn't know this is where you come to eat lunch when you’re not with us.”
‘So what, I like the quiet.’ Saiki replies.
“Oh!” Kaido squeaks, backpedaling and waving his bandaged hands, “it’s fine, I just didn’t know!”
Saiki shrugs and glares at the hallway past Kaido blocking the doorway, with some annoyance. The last thing he wants is anyone touching him. He glares until Kaido winces an apology and steps aside.
He returns to class.
By history, his second to last period of the day, his other friend's thoughts are filled with worry about him, which means Kaido must have told the others that he eats in the bathroom.
He doesn’t care if his peers think it’s weird that he eats in the bathroom sometimes, but his friends are annoyingly concerned about it. It’s distracting, them all pointing their attention and thoughts toward him, like a too-hot spotlight. He hates attention on a good day, and today is decidedly not that.
Changing tactics, Saiki lets Kaido, Hairo, Nendo, Umehera, and Teruhashi corner him after the final bell rings and he’s rounding the corner leading to the lockers.
“Saiki!” Teruhashi simpers, “We wanted to ask you something.”
“Are you doing okay? It’s just you seem like you’re pulling away from us and during lunch you ate in the bathroom and Kobyasu said you were in the bathroom a long time today before the first bell, sounded like you were sick.” Kaido rambles, “We hope no one is bullying you cause I’ll unleash all my power onto them if they are!” Kaido adds, his bandaged fist held aloft, clenched in his readiness to fight these imaginary bullies.
I already could unleash my powers Saiki thinks dryly, good grief they’re really trying to make this day harder.
Saiki shakes his head and projects a fraction of the exhaustion he feels as an explanation and they all sag under its weight.
It’s not that Saiki doesn’t get sleep each night, as a matter of fact, sleep is essential for managing his powers during the day. It’s just that said powers are exhausting to constantly rein in. He’s working so hard every day not to stand out, with his bright pink hair and green glasses, limiters sticking out of his head like antennae. If he is spotted teleporting, restoring an object, flying, or any of his extraordinary powers, he’ll be gawked at, be discovered to be as different as he already knows he is. This is why Satou is his idol. He is the very ordinary person Saiki poses as.
And some days, his many powers weigh heavier than others. His bother tried to kill him recently, and he’s exhausted from the effort of saving himself and Toritsuka, still reeling from the fact that Kusuke really tried to kill him. He’d forced Saiki to deplete his powers to the point of exhaustion. It’s an exhaustion he hasn’t been able to shake in these past few days, even though his powers are seemingly recharged.
“Saiki, I’d be happy to walk to you home!” Hairo begins, face breaking into a desperate smile but Saiki is too tired to catch his running thoughts, and he shakes his head. A few others offer but he shrugs them off, ‘ I’m fine, just gonna go home alone and rest. See you tomorrow.’ he projects to them and they grumble their disappointment at not making sure he got home okay, but he assures them one more that he would be fine and leaves, sighing heavily.
He walks home, to give himself time to think. He has to try and be less conspicuous tomorrow if his powers are still overwhelming him. Easier said than done of course, when you can hear the thoughts of everyone within a 200-meter radius (not to mention animals), see the meat and bones of every living thing, curbing his super-strength during gym class, using hypnosis on everyone to make him think he’s wearing hairpins, not to mention any precognition headaches, fear of petrification, or overall Nendo/Teruhashi mishaps.
What a pain. Saiki wants nothing more than to sleep for a week and not interact with any of the annoyances in his life. He wants peace and above all, he wants these powers gone. He’s sick of them. They’re convenient sure, but as his powers grow and every time he fails to stop the volcano, and redoes his 2nd year, Kusuo’s shoulders become a bit heavier each redo, his thoughts turning a bit darker.
Frankly, Saiki is tired of being in high school, tired of having to leash his powers each breathing moment of the day, tired of dreaming of a life with no powers. He’s so tired a little part of him kinda wants to die.
He comes to a halt, mind registering that passing thought.
Does he want to actually die, or is that just a passive intrusive thought? He stands perfectly still, fists clenched and digging into his skin and thinks hard. He pokes experimentally at the puckered flesh of his bruised, shut-off emotions. For a moment, he doesn’t hide from himself and just asks plainly; do I really want to die or do I just want my powers gone?
He wants them gone. That’s always been the case. They were fun for the first few years of his life when he could do anything whenever he wanted, when he could ride motorcycles at age 2 without dying, he could fly and teleport and turn invisible. He could threaten Kusuke with apporting his favorite toy into the bottom of the ocean if he was annoying him, and everything felt like a game.
But then his powers grew. And people’s thoughts started to hurt so much he’d sometimes throw up. And then he’d actually killed two joggers when his petrification came in one random Thursday evening when they were out on a walk. Since they’d been mid-run, their stone bodies shattered on impact and their bodies came back as corpses. He’d worn his father’s glasses as he’d erased them from existence, refusing to cry because it was his fault.
That’s when his powers really started to suck, when being a normal, everyday kid became an ever-unattainable goal. He’d blown up classrooms and apported whole hotels, he’s had so many accidents, and everything piled on itself after his petrification appeared and before he got his limiters. Those were times Saiki didn’t think of fondly, nor thought of at all if he could help it.
He walks on, following a path to the river and thinks hard. So yes, he wants his powers gone. The limiters and germanium ring only do so much, and still the weight of all of this becomes heavier each day. He doesn’t want his powers, and he kinda doesn’t want to keep living with them either. But he’s not suicidal, right?
A sneaky voice in his head reminds him again of the fight with Kusuke a few days ago. How the ridiculous Cat Tank's Beam sounded each time it nearly fried him, the smell of burnt hair as he teleported out of range just in time, and how, by the 100th teleport, Kusuo contemplated letting the energy beam hit him and be done with it. Each interaction with his brother pealed a bit away at his sanity. It was more than an irritant at this point. He had tried to kill him and had been laughing . He’d kidnapped Toritsuka, and made him parade around in Saiki’s naked body, humiliating him. He knew of Saiki’s discomfort with showing his body and weaponized it. And did I mention he tried to vaporize me?
Was he actually trying to kill me or did he know I wouldn’t die?
Every time he asks himself this, he can’t really fathom it. His bother wanted him dead and if Saiki were a little slower or a little more suicidal he would have succeeded. Saiki walks as this thought settles into his bones, sinking deeply into his very marrow. It aches more than having to leave his life after his stupid slip-up, it hurts more than insults thought about him by class bullies because this is Kusuke.
Saiki walks for a long while and tries to outrun the ache in him, and after an indiscernible stretch of time, the coiling pain in his chest turns numb instead. His brain feels stuffed with the same cotton of the pinkish clouds floating above him again and he’s grateful for the break in these extremely bleak thoughts, though the angry orange of these overwhelming feelings still press into this cotton, trying to shine through.
The sun begins dipping below the horizon and his feet have carried him not home but to the river bisecting Hidari Wakibara. Clusters of little rooftops are dyed a light peach across the river, while the clouds take on dusty pinks and vivid oranges, reflecting the distorted sky into the water. Saiki watches the river flow, how it’s careless to the suffering of the nearby teenage boy.
His chest aches some more and he can’t stand it.
The thoughts of passersby still murmur in his head but he doesn’t dare put on his ring. He’s already anxious and jumpy so that’s a no-go. His skin itches, his head hurts, and his body is somehow still sore from the fight with Kusuke.
Every time he thinks about that fight, thorny vines constrict his lungs and he has to take hitching breaths. He hates this, these stupid emotions clouding his usually practical outlook. He hates that Kusuke is still getting to him, after vowing to not let him ever again, and he hates that he cares what his friends peers think of him. He hasn’t in the past, but maybe spending an extra 4 years with these people is a side-effect of that.
Saiki takes a long breath and holds it, only puffing it out when his lungs start to burn. The sun dips below the houses and the clouds make one last dazzling stretch of colors before darkness takes hold, and Saiki tries to control this out-of-control feeling inside, but it’s slipping from him just as the evening slips to night…
Night…
And like that, Saiki comes back to himself, the cool night air slapping some sense back into him.
He should have been home hours ago.
He now notes his feet hurt and he’s starving. He checks his watch and sees he’s been wandering around for 2 and a half hours, so deeply lost in his head and that floating, paralyzing feeling.
The reality of that grips him and suddenly he’s cold down to his very core. He wants to go home, and he doesn’t really care if anyone sees him teleport away.
There’s a rushing feeling and his feet land on his bedroom floor. His parent’s thoughts flood his mind the moment he orients himself.
We gotta start looking for him now, it’s getting so late- what if he’s hurt!
If he’s fine then this is pretty disrespectful of him worrying us like this.
‘I’m back’ he projects to them, and their relief is near-palpable, tasting like tangy regret in his mouth. It’s a pain worrying his parents because they always overreact. On queue, the door flies open ( ‘um, knock’) and both his parents cross the threshold. His mother approaches him but his skin still feels vaguely cold and also on fire so he takes a single step back and raises a hand. His mother respects his space and takes an equal step back.
“Ku, it’s nearly 8 pm! You missed dinner and when we called Café Mami to see if you had gone there and the ramen shop, but neither of them said you were there! We were just about to start looking for you!”
Saiki held back a sigh and replies, ‘Sorry, I lost track of time.’
His parents, if anything, look more startled by this, which is fair. He is not usually one to lose track of anything, time especially.
“But Saiki Kusuo covets his alone time at home, so what were you doing if you weren’t getting food?” His father replies, irritated now that he sees his son isn’t hurt, could’ve contacted us or anything, so we didn’t spend a whole evening worrying.
‘I have a lot on my mind.’ He settles for, hoping to move this conversation on so he can put on his ring and pass out.
“Honey, is something going on? This isn’t like you.” His mother has unshed tears in her eyes and Saiki feels a stab in his chest at the sight. Good grief I hate this.
“Are you an imposter?” His father’s voice cracks at the mere idea.
Saiki shakes his head, ‘I’m not an imposter. My powers are just acting up more than usual.’ There. Not a lie, and not the whole truth, right where Saiki likes to reside.
They only look half-convinced, still scrutinizing him like they’re the telepaths. He hears the cogs in their heads turning and it’s only solidifying the awful feeling building in his chest.
“Kusuo, it’s not responsible to just take off after school, not tell anyone where you’re going, and then not tell your parents what’s going on after. It’s not the responsible adult thing to do and you need to be taking our feelings more seriously, I mean your mother and I were worried sick. It’s important to honor times when you’re supposed to be home. We don’t impose a curfew because you’ve never given us a reason to, so don’t let us have to change that now. Psychic powers or no, you are still our son you know, and there are still rules in the family you have to follow.” His father replies.
Saiki’s gut twists again and the coldness on his skin has only increased since this awful conversation began. He wants to tell his father that Kusuke tried to kill him a few days ago, and that is certainly breaking family rules, but he’s sure that wouldn’t go over well. He hasn’t told them anything about the incident a few days ago, saying as his parents conveniently overlooked the tormenting from Kusuke over the years, riding it off as brotherly roughhousing only cause Saiki can easily defend himself. His parents still have a seemingly fine relationship with their eldest son and Saiki isn’t going to be the one to go whining about a brother he can (supposedly) easily stand up to
This conversation is making a pain build at the back of his eyes and a lump lodge in his throat. He’s so aware of his body, the uncomfortability of still wearing his uniform, his parent’s worried thoughts, and his slightly too-hot room. With the incessant clicking of his fan overhead, plus the ever-present cacophony of thoughts of those he now knows so well in his 200-meter radius, he’s about ready to blow something up.
“Ku?” His mother asks, and Saiki realizes he hasn’t replied to his father's self-righteous lecture, instead, he’s been glaring a literal hole in his desk chair, (which has been going through a lot since he set it on fire just yesterday) and they all blink at the smoking hole burned into the chair. Huh, that’s new.
His powers, as they usually do when he’s overwhelmed and nearing meltdown territory, rear their many fiery heads. Now his pen cup and notebook have started levitating and Saiki takes a few staggering breaths to rein himself back in for the whateverth time today before he tips over the edge and loses any semblance of control.
Don’t wanna go blowing up a street block, again.
His parents are watching him nervously, though his mother does look understanding, having seen a great deal of his emotional overloads over the years and can tell the signs now. Without having to make excuses about fatigue, his mother murmurs something about letting Kusuo get some rest and leaving it be, before she drags her husband out of the room and closes the door with a soft click.
Saiki apports his pajamas for his uniform right onto his body so he doesn’t even have to strip and shrugs his shoes off. He slips on the ring, and throws off his glasses onto his nightstand, he hears them clatter as he collapses into bed, his little energy leaving him. The levitating objects by his desk fall to the ground as his energy is drained. Saiki tries to hold back the tears rushing to his eyes and clogging his throat. He hasn’t cried in so so long and he really does not want to start now. So instead, he squeezes his eyes shut and lets the silence soothe the aching under his skin a bit.
He’s not even hungry after his hazy not-walk home and subsequent Parent Lecture.
The only times Saiki can seem to sleep soundly are if he reads manga for an hour or so before bed, busying his head in another world, into the mundane existence of a high school kid. He needs it to block out the world so he can actually sleep .
He usually reads slice of lives for the same reason he watches them. Tonight, after an unsuccessful hour of no sleep, he sits up and tries reading about a high school girl whose only worry is how she’s gonna fit hanging out with her new friends with her busy schedule. But it just makes acidic envy pool in his gut so he sets the manga down once more.
The weekend can’t come fast enough, is the final thought on Saiki’s mind as he closes his eyes and wills sleep before he can actually let tears fall.
Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ
Saiki Kusuo wakes up feeling groggy, a bit off-kilter, and still with too-strong, too-loud powers. But he was determined to draw no attention today, even if his powers did feel like he was restraining a fiery whip with his bare hands, painful to hold back but extremely necessary to not let go.
In order to not draw too much attention to him, he stays away from his friends during homeroom. Aiura Mikoto goes looking for him at the start of lunch so Saiki barely avoids her by teleporting to a deserted island he preferred for days like this. He lays on the sand, letting his powers run loose for a while, like letting a vicious dragon off-leash. Palm trees are ripped from their roots as his telekinesis causes havoc, and he turns a few crabs into stone while he tries to relax with his glasses off. He is starting to get mildly worried.
A power flair-up like this, where his powers were so haphazard even with his limiter, was more uncommon the older he got, but never had one lasted this long. Usually, he suffered for a day at most, 2 or 3 hours at best, where he felt like it was taking all of his energy just to restrain his powers, to come back down to his line of what was normal for him. But this is going on to day three and Saiki feels like he’s starting to lose it a bit. His heart jumps around at the mere thought of this being a long-lasting flare-up, where he could feel like this for weeks, even months.
He might actually off himself if that happened, he jokes privately. Sure dark humor wasn’t the greatest coping method, but when you’re a telepath at a high school hearing every single thought (dark or otherwise), you gotta cope somehow.
He teleports back to school and tries to ignore the way his pyrokonesis is making him feel like he’s boiling just under his skin though all of 2A physics. Luckily none of the usual suspects are in his advanced class except Hairo, but the boy is too busy trying to be the best student he can to be bothered that Saiki is a bit more withdrawn than usual.
Nendo and Kaido on the other hand, are the exact opposite. All throughout their second to last class of the day, which of course is their art elective, the two throw him fervent looks.
Lumps of gray clay sit between each pair and they are tasked to create a model using combined efforts with their partner to make a recognizable Japanese landmark.
Saiki wishes his brain worked today, it would make dealing with his partner, Kaido, so much easier. As he is though, he can barely hold the clay without clenching too hard and turning it to a liquid state. He briefly considers starting a small fire just to get out of the assignment, but Kaido is squeaking worridly about his grade in art and he supposes he can’t just keep postponing things just because he feels a little off ( okay, a lot off but let me be in denial in peace ) so he lets Kaido take the lead.
Kaido suggests they build The Golden Temple, ( why? we only have gray clay) though Saiki tries to convince him to do Mount Fuji for it’s ease and color match, but Kaido is already wiggling in his chair at the thought of making The Golden Temple so Saiki projects a good grief to Kaido to show his displeasure.
Working with Kaido on any project is tedious, but on a timed art design, it’s making Saiki wish for a life-altering disaster that he can stop just to get out of this. Saiki and art do not get along. Everything Saiki makes is virtually perfect and (like with sketching Teruhashi) it is easy to tell right away that a student couldn’t have made that. Usually he would just copy the hand movements of the most average person nearest him and hope it only turns out “really good” instead of “worthy of hanging in the Louvre.” He can’t do that here. The challenge alone is head-ache inducing, but add a partner like Kaido into the mix, who has virtually no artistic talent and plenty of unearned confidence, becomes practically a disaster scenario for the psychic.
There’s nothing for it. He agrees to make the roof while Kaido works on the stabilizing square structure. Saiki grabs a lump of clay and frows down at it. The feel of the near-dry old clay between his fingers just adds a sense of wrongness to this whole awful day, no week.
He slowly starts to shape the roof, trying to take his time so as not to suspiciously be done in 3 seconds.
His first attempt is merely a flat slab of clay, and Kaido gives it a dubious glance while he reminds himself that Saiki doesn’t do much arts and crafts.
Saiki checks to see Kaido’s progress and is annoyed to find he’s not doing too terribly. If he turns out worse than Kaido at this then his likeability will go down to the point where people may actually pay attention to him more.
He scrunches the clay, annoyed by both his inability to be normal and the texture of the clay already getting under his fingernails. He next sculpts a pristine clay replica of the Golden Temple’s roof and hurriedly destroys it before Kaido can see.
He tries again, and on the third try, he’s getting frustrated. Kaido has already made the entire support bottom and is finishing the touches on the walls.
Saiki makes a near-perfect roof once more and decides to pinch the clay down in places, purposefully destroying the perfect edges and neat indents into finger smudges. It’s too good-looking still when Kaido sneaks another glance his way and nearly flinches at Kaido’s internal voice go woah!
“Saiki, I didn’t know you were so detailed!” He says out loud.
I shouldn’t have added the phoenix on the top in such detail, now he’s got literal stars in his eyes.
Indeed Kaido is thrilled to have Saiki as his partner since he had a “secret art talent!”
‘It took me the entire time it took you to make the bottom structurues.’ Saiki reminds him, but Kaido waves him off and is already bragging to Nendo a table over how theirs is gonna be the best.
Good grief. For once, Saiki would like to pull off something normal and mundane. With the din of others' thoughts stuffing his already full head, Saiki can’t stop Nendo and Mera’s curious glances and ohhs of interest. Saiki ignores them in favor of attaching his roof to Kaido’s structures and beginning to stack them, the three distinct pieces becoming heavy, Kaido having not built the bottom structure large and stable enough. Kaido lets out a little shriek and holds the top two pieces together while Saiki maintains a grip on the bottom portion. His right eye twitches with the effort to not simply destroy the whole thing in frustration. Instead, he apports toothpicks in place of the clay from the front table to apply support without looking like they were cheating.
They tentatively let go and the structure thankfully stays. It doesn’t look half bad (nearing on the side of too good with Saiki’s roof.)
Kaido offers a high-five but Saiki is certain with his frayed concentration, he will blast Kaido through the wall so he merely gives him a thumbs-up instead.
Saiki gets up to turn it in for today’s grade. He stands and places it by their designated paper name place at the front table and the buzz of others turning their thoughts to their work fills his head, mostly irritation that Saiki and Kaido finished first. But to Saiki, it’s a relief. He can sit in silence now and wait out the rest of class.
However, Kaido has other plans, such as striking up a conversation with Nendo and Mera, who are working on Tokyo Tower together. Saiki sits as far as possible from them and closes his eyes, trying to lull everything to background noise. It’s difficult when his powers are draining what feels like his very life force from him, but he manages to lean back, close his eyes, and slow his breathing. Until of course, Teruhashi’s thoughts point toward him and when she spots him, her internal voice dips in concern. Saiki hates it, frankly. His mother pities him for his powers and how they cause his meltdowns, and she pities him when he has accidents. His father pities how he never makes friends and how awkward he thinks Saiki is. Even his grandparents worry about him since they learned about his powers. And Kusuke… well he never pitied Saiki at least, but he still used to use Saiki’s power flair-up days like this to his advantage to try and win his stupid games. So he opens his eyes when he sees Teruhashi approaching, already strategizing ways to get out of this.
“Saiki-” Teruhashi simpers.
“Hey, Teruhashi! How is it going over there with Yumehara? You finished already?” Kaido interrupts and Saiki hears his hurried thought to pass his mind, Looks like he’s overwhelmed. Saiki doesn’t need Teruhashi fawning over him right now since he looks so worn out, I know how that feels, so I’ll just invite her into our conversation.
A warmth spreads through his chest; unbidden, and Saiki blames his powers for wearing out his emotional control, but it is appreciated all the same, Kaido.
Teruhashi is reluctantly pulled into the conversation, giving Saiki the time to pack up his backpack, tune everything out, and wait for the bell, which mercifully arrives 5 minutes later.
Kaido packs up his things and Saiki sends him a small smile before he leaves, and Kaido’s excited thoughts whirl, ‘ Oh my god I made Saiki smile! This is the power of the Jet Black Wings!’ And Saiki almost regrets it. Almost.
Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ
Aurora Mikoto is a lot of things. Funny, pretty, sarcastic, a powerful oracle, with great tits, and no interest in men.
But she’s no therapist. She’s seen her platonic soulmate, Saiki Kusuo, struggling this week and is frankly at a loss of what to do. He’s been really out of it. He’s clearly not listening to them chat before homeroom, and he was even ‘sick’ on Monday. She’s tried to corner him multiple times this week with no success. He must be avoiding them, and from what she’s overhead Nendo, Kaido, and Teruhashi, he’s been leaving alone every day after school and his mother kicked Terushashi out when she tried to visit him on Monday.
It’s fishy. Saiki’s behavior isn’t exactly out of the norm, but he’s usually at least a bit amiable to go get ramen with the boys.
He’s been avoiding everyone and flinching at normal conversation. Him missing school is basically out of the question, and yet, here he is.
The bell rings for lunch and Mikoto hurries off to find Saiki. However, she only catches a glimpse of his pink hair before he disappears into the crowd. So, during lunch, she sits away from the others milling around in homeroom, and digs out her crystal ball. She rips a blank page from her notebook and shreds it, thinking of Saiki. She peers into the paper reads the word volcano . Frowning, she consults the crystal ball and sees Saiki sometime in the future kneeling beside a steaming heap of rock and blacked grass, looking absolutely wrecked; windswept and sunburnt.
‘Saiki?’ She checks his location in her crystal ball, finding it to be all the way in Oshimai. Idiot, what is he going to do?
Mikoto tries to find Saiki all day, but even when she calls in his head he avoids her. She tracks down Toritsuka, though she’s loathe to talk to the perv, he’s got some idea what’s going on with Saiki sometimes. And whatever was on that hill looks like Saiki just had a fierce battle with.
“Oi, scumbag.” She calls to Toritsuka when she spots his purple hair and stupid headband in the crowd of a group heading out after school.
“Don’t call me that.” Retorts Toritsuka, turning to face her, while grumbling classmates scuttle around them. She grips his arm and drags him into the nearest empty classroom.
“What, gaaa! Let go of me, crazy!”
She does, crossing her arms, “What’s going on with Saiki? Why does he look awful in my vision of the future?”
“How should I know?” Toritsuka replies, his eyes darting around the classroom.
“Because for some reason you’re involved in his bullshit a lot. And you’re clearly lying about something, so spill.” She pokes him hard in the chest and he whimpers.
“Whaaatt? No, nothing’s happened recently.”
“I’ll give you 5 seconds to tell me.” She threatens, “Or I’ll tell the whole school that I see a future of you going to jail for being a disgusting pervert.”
“No! You wouldn’t! That’s not in my future right?”
“No, but the girls at this school don’t know that.”
Toritsuka puts his hands up in defeat, “Fine, I’ll tell you what I know, but you better not tell Saiki I told you!”
“And if he’s listening to our conversation now?”
“Nah, he went home right after school with Nendo and that blue-haired weirdo, couldn’t get out of here fast enough.”
Mikoto taps her chin, then nods to him, “Go on then, what happened?”
“Well, last Thursday I was kidnapped by Saiki’s crazy older brother and held for two days, he tried to make me hate Saiki as much as he does, then when Saiki came to rescue me, his brother used me as a hostage to try and beat Saiki. They had a huge fight and his bro had a gigantic cat cannon that he shot at Saiki a bunch, I think he was actually trying to kill him, or beat him or something. Saiki won, but he had to completely deplete his powers to do it. It was crazy and he told me to pretend it never happened but he hasn’t been acting normal since.”
Mikoto is more confused than when she came into this conversation. “What does this have to do with a volcano?” She asks.
“What? A volcano?” Toritsuka asks blankly.
Mikoto shrugs it off, she’d track Saiki down and make him tell her what the hell was going on.
“Good thing you told me, now text me if Saiki shows up or you find him, otherwise you can’t text or call me, got it?” She stressed the latter part. No way is she letting this perv send her anything but an update on their psychic fiend. “I need to talk some sense into my platonic soulmate.” With that, she marches off, worry bubbling in her chest. Saiki is not one to share his feelings sure, but Mikoto didn’t even know that Saiki had a brother, let alone a murderous, kidnapping brother.
This must have been extremely stressful for Saiki, and the idiot was probably handling it all alone.
Idiot. She’s gonna just have to track him down.
Deciding to check on him again, Mikoto sits down by the shoe lockers and pulls out her backpack. Unclasping her bedazzled pencil case, she removes a mechanical pencil and screws off the eraser with a little pop. She dumps out the two tiny sticks of led and smashes them into shards, ignoring how it dyes her hand in ledden lines.
She peers down at the shards and sees Ramen spelled out, so he must be with the boys. Good, they have him for now. She’ll just catch him after he’s back home.
“What are you doing Mikoto-chan?” Comes a voice from behind her shoulder. Aurora turns to see Rifuta Imu there, her blond hair sparkling in the afternoon sun streaming from the windows.
“Hi, cutie.” Aurora winks and Imu bends down for a swift kiss, blushing furiously after. Mikoto cackles gleefully at her blush and squeezes her hand.
“Ew, you’re going to get led on me!” Imu protests.
“It’s for the greater good. For Saiki.”
Imu rolls her eyes, “it’s always something with him.”
“Don’t tell me your jealous? Just cause I thought he was my soulmate doesn’t mean he is. I like you Imu, that’s why I’m dating you. ” Mikoto replies, standing and brushing the led shards off the bench.
Imu giggles and Mikoto admires the pink dusting on her cheeks.
“I’ll walk you home,” Mikoto offers, after switching her shoes, and she takes Imu’s hand, setting her worries about the psychic aside for now.
Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ
Saiki walks home with Nendo, Kaido, and Kobyasu after school partly to keep them off his back about shrugging them off for two days in a row and partly because he doesn’t want to have a repeat of last night.
Halfway there, his stomach grumbles so loudly that the three turn to look at him. Nendo instantly declares they need to get Saiki some ramen, Kaido agreeing at once, while Kuboyasu smiles along bemusedly. The thought of ramen is actually very enticing at the moment and now that he’s thought about it, he hasn’t eaten since lunch yesterday. That thought seems to make his stomach twice as indigent and it grumbles again, which his friends laugh and take as a yes. They drag him off to a ramen shop pretty close to his house, Nendo already declaring he’ll pay for Saiki.
It’s… nice. Being with his friends, eating decent ramen, and finally feeling properly hungry for the first time since his fight with Kusuke. He’s still restraining his powers with a bigger effort than usual, but at least the pitched whine from the overwhelming telepathy has quieted.
Saiki slurps on his noodles and lets out a little pleased sigh, a smile crossing his lips. Kaido’s thoughts go haywi about how he got Saiki to smile ( again!) but none of them point it out, which he’s grateful for.
Once he’s finished off his entire bowl, fatigue hits him hard and he leans back in his chair to watch his friends talk, letting his body digest. Kuboyasu is telling a story from his gang days that is actually interesting and the other two are chuckling along as well. Their cheery voices, the delicious aroma of the shop, and the warm ramen settling in his stomach mean his eyes start drooping by the time Nendo pays for him. They nudge him out of his chair, and the sun hits him when they get outside; his face cracks into a wide yawn.
“C’mon buddy, let’s get you home.” Nendo murmurs, quieter than normal, and Saiki can’t tell if he’s trying to be quiet for Saiki or he’s just tired too.
The three drop them off and Saiki gives a little wave and a ‘thanks’ to Nendo for the ramen, which makes his friend beam brightly. Shaking his head fondly despite himself, he enters the house, calling a soft ‘I’m home’ in his mother’s mind.
“Hi, Ku!” His mother calls from the kitchen, where a heavenly chocolatey aroma is wafting.
He rounds the corner and see’s two bowls of coffee jelly sitting ready on the table.
“Ku, I wanted to catch up with you! Want a coffee jelly?”
He sits, smiling at his mother in thanks. Despite having just had ramen and feeling exhausted, he still always had room for coffee jelly.
“Kusuo.” His mother begins and a little crease appears between her eyes. Saiki braces himself, having heard her plan this in her head.
“I’m worried about you. Did something happen? You never just disappear on us like that for so long, and you looked so troubled when we came to talk to you. And I know your father can be a lot sometimes but this seemed like more than just that… and you’ve been teleporting to and from school which you normally walk with your friends…” she trails off and worries her lip between her teeth.
How do you explain to your mother that you’re not suicidal but you don’t want to keep living with the burden of your powers?
“It’s going to drive your friends away when they find out how you spy into their personal thoughts.” Kusuke’s teasing fills his head and he wants to shed the memory of that day from him, he wants to forget and move on but he can’t.
He wants to tell his mother what happened. But he can’t. It’ll affect her deeply and she’ll overcorrect just trying to figure out what to do.
‘ My powers are flaring up like before. It makes it hard to focus in class and harder to hide my powers.’ He tells her.
There. That was all true. He just had to leave some key parts out.
“Oh Kusuo, you could have told me! Has this been happening since Monday?”
Saiki nods and takes a few bites of his coffee jelly to ignore the look on her face, though he can hear his mother’s thoughts swirling with more questions, and worries of why it’s lasted so long.
When he finally looks up at her, her face is pinched and Saiki looks back down at his half-eaten desert.
“Normal people would be grateful for your powers. Look what it takes out of mother and father just by you existing. You could at least act grateful instead of throwing tantrums all the time.” Kusuke’s words from when they were children circle his cerebellum on a loop, in tandem with his mother’s concerned thoughts for him. The cacophony of thoughts makes him stand up so quickly his chair falls to the floor with a crash, making him flinch.
“Ku!” His mother gasps, standing too, the scraping of her chair too loud.
It’s blinding in the kitchen, the din of voices, powers humming under his skin, the muscles flesh of his mothers face, it's too much of everything and Saiki wants to crumble on the floor and cry. He wants to scream and hit his head until the frenzy inside quiets until the broken china that is his brain mends itself once more.
But fuck… nothing can be fixed by itself. He has to do it, has to pick up each shard, and try not to bleed everywhere in his painful attempt to be normal.
Why is it so hard just to be normal? To go to sleep without fear of tearing your house and family apart in your dreams. To go to school and laugh with your friends, to look them right in the eye sans barrier and not turn them to stone. Normal kids can enjoy sports and art, normal kids have bad drawings hung on fridges (Saiki’s first art piece was a hyper-realistic portrait of his mother that people asked where she got it done) and sports medals.
Saiki’s knees hit the floor before he realizes it and a bubble of laughter comes from his lips. Horrified, his mother and him both freeze at the sound. Because Saiki can’t seem to stop the tiny chuckles hitching between breaths, like bubbles breaking on a hot lake. All of this is so stupid and Saiki can’t help but laugh at all of it. Soon he’s hiccuping past a sob and the overwhelming sense of futility closes in.
“Ku…” his mother’s thoughts are deliberate, trying to reach her hurting child without touching him. ‘Good job, Kusuo. No one is in danger, everything is alright, you’re doing great and I’m proud of you’ and though he doesn’t want his mother’s comfort, her litany of soft thoughts does help calm some of the frantic little hitches of breath puffing from his mouth.
‘I’m so proud of Kusuo, he’s doing such a good job. He puts too much pressure on himself when he gets like this… it was only a matter of time till a flair-up happened again, though it usually only happens after big events like when we moved, or when things were tense with Kusuke before he left. The last time I think he had one was after we came back from London but it only lasted 2 days I think.’ His mother’s thoughts are starting to ramble away from comforting into speculation.
She’s right, his power flair-ups are almost always directly coordinated with his stress levels. Rarely do they come out of nowhere.
It happened every year he couldn’t stop the volcano, and just the thought of it sends his skin alight and flushing; he’s sure he’ll set something on fire soon if he doesn’t rein it in. He wants to just be knocked unconscious because he’s heading towards a panic attack, meltdown, or a fun combo of both.
What a pain.
Kusuo is a second away from teleporting to his bedroom when there’s a knock on the door, followed by the call of, “I know you’re in there Saiki!”
Great. Just what he needs, an oracle.
Kusuo’s mother gets up, letting her son do the same as she looks him over.
“A friend of yours?” She asks, voice achingly soft.
Saiki nods, taking steadying breaths.
Mikoto knocks harder.
“I can-“ his mom begins but Saiki replies, ‘I’ll send her off-‘
He heard his mother’s internal protest that he shouldn’t turn away friends because she knows it’s the last thing he needs right now so she doesn’t remark on it.
Taking some more breaths Saiki feels in control just enough to answer the door but not enough to curb his face.
“Saiki- woah, you look rough.”
‘I can’t do this right now-‘
“Saiki you’ve been acting odd all week and I saw some concerning things in my crystal ball today.” She cuts in, her thoughts going to the images she saw. Saiki feels the blood drain from his face.
“What’s this about a volcano?” She asks.
Saiki stares at her, silent and still. She saw him and the volcano in her vision. She knows he’s going to have to stop one. She knows and the thought of it curles molten lava in his gut.
“Saiki?”
Mikoto. Right.
‘We’ll talk about this tomorrow-‘
“Saiki, Toritsuka told me about your brother.”
Saiki steps out of the door and slams it shut behind him, the frame rattling threateningly.
Saiki and Mikoto are nose-to-nose on his porch and Saiki glares her down, his fists clenched, ‘ That’s none of your business. He shouldn’t have told you.’ He growls, checking his mother’s thoughts to see if she heard. Nothing from her, except concern and curiosity.
Mikoto puts her hands on her hips, not backing down, “Listen, when a somewhat friend of mine gets kidnapped by my friend’s brother, I need to know about it. Is that why you asked me what was in Toritsuka’s future?” She jabs his chest and he takes a step back, bumping into the door behind him.
He does not have the energy for this conversation right now.
‘Everything is fine now. Leave me alone.’ He grumbles.
“Clearly everything is not fine, you’re literally looking terrible and you missed a day of school and even Nendo knows something is up. I saw you battling a fucking volcano, Saiki! That’s not ‘fine’ behavior!” She’s yelling a bit and it’s far too loud.
He rubs his temples and lets his shoulders slump, changing tactics.
‘Yeah, things are not completely fine. But I’m working on it and I need rest. I need to have this conversation another day.’ If there’s anything Mikoto understands, it’s respecting boundaries. That is ever since he told her he’s aromantic and asexual, she’s backed off and understood him a lot more. She already deduced that he’s autistic, so he didn’t have to tell her that at least.
She runs a hand through her hair, “Fine, Saiki. But we’re talking about this tomorrow.” She urges, fierce once more in her determination, “And don’t do anything stupid until then.” She warns.
He’d be a little touched she cared this much if his head wasn’t on fire and she wasn’t threatening him.
She looks like she wants to say more but Saiki is already opening the door and stepping back inside, closing the door with a soft click.
His mother’s thoughts buzz around the corner and she comes into view, starting, “Ku-“
‘Leave me alone.’ He nearly growls to her, teleporting to his room, vowing to make it up to his mother later and he quickly sheds his clothes and slips on pajamas. He snatches up his ring and slides it mercifully onto his finger. He climbs into bed and throws the covers over himself, blocking out the late afternoon light. His fingers shake as he takes in shaky breaths, the lack of thoughts in a 200-meter radius, combined with the cool darkness of his impromptu blanket fort, cool his itching skin. Once his shaking has subsided, Kusuo steadies his breathing and puffs out a few shaky exhales.
Mikoto saw him fighting the volcano, and losing. He clenches his fists and his bones creak in warning. He flattens out his fingers and tries to think of anything but the irony of being the most powerful being on the planet and still unable to defeat a measly volcano.
Desperate to turn off his brain, he closes his eyes and his tired body escorts him to sleep nearly at once.
Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ
A knock on his door wakes him. Saiki opens his eyes to the muted darkness of the blanket still over his head. He’s overheated, under the covers like this. He swallows around the dryness in his throat and throws the blanket off his head, so it pools on his lap. He sits up and notices his head is pounding,
The knock comes again and Saiki jumps. His head still feels cottony so he doesn’t take the ring off quite yet, so he’s not sure who’s at the door. The sky has grown dark beyond the windows and Saiki must have slept an hour or so.
Kusuo flicks the door open to reveal his mother, hand raised to knock again.
“Hi, Ku.” She comes into his room, pulling up his desk chair so it’s facing him.
“I want to help you, sweetheart.” She says, eyes brimming with tears. The term of endearment sticks in his side and digs in. He loves his mother's endearments, but he hates them too; making him feel too small and vulnerable.
Velnurabale wasn’t something he could afford around Kusuke, not with the hidden cameras and the constant scrutiny, waiting for him to slip up. Oh, if Kusuke could see him now, falling apart nearly every day, he’d seize the moment to try again and scrape by with a victory. Thankfully, Saiki already destroyed all Kusuke’s hidden cameras, though he wouldn’t put it past him to have other surveillance devices. And somehow, his parents don’t find this disturbing at all. They’re weird.
“Ku?” His mother sounds like she’s been calling his name, her tone on the edge of frantic.
‘Sorry.’ He uses sign language, his brain too static-filled for telepathy. He's wrenching his gaze from the middle distance and meeting her worried look.
“Kusuo, what’s going on? Please talk to me. I know your flair-up is bad, honey, but this seems like more than that, or piled on with something else, maybe?” She asks, worrying her hands.
His mother is perceptive, she always has been when it came to Kusuo. They have a more kindred spirit, the two of them. Saiki’s father and Kusuke are more alike than his brother would ever be caught admitting since he is always picking on their dad. They’re both stubborn, take advantage of situations, and tell stupid jokes.
Saiki sighs and thinks through what to say to his mother, the blessed silence making everything easier to deal with. His head feels less like it was dipped in hot lava at least.
The truth is, he never really opens up to anyone, because how could anyone ever understand? His powers are usually the envy of his father and brother, and he knows others would just think about how cool it is to have psychic powers. There are so many drawbacks that others don’t contemplate and could never understand what a pain they really are. Plus, his friends would be so weirded out if they found out he could hear their thoughts.
‘It’s fine. It won’t last forever.”
“You don’t need to brush it off, Kusuo. What else is bothering you?”
Saiki fishes around for an excuse, anything to help get his mother to stop prying.
He could tell her about the volcano. That’s been a major stressor for 4 years now. But then he’d have to explain how he’s failed, had to retry for 4 years and hindered not only his life but the lives of his parents and peers, hasn’t allowed anyone to progress, let alone how he’s failed himself.
What a pain.
Saiki puts his head in his hands and takes a shaky breath.
“Kusuo.” It’s not often his mother uses his full name, going for terms of endearment or his full name when she’s angry.
Saiki meets her eyes and sees tears pouring down her cheeks.
Something inside Saiki curls upon itself like a roly-poly, too scared to expose his vulnerable underbelly.
‘Mom. I can’t talk about it. I can’t.’ He telepathically responds, his head starting to ache with the effort of it all.
“What honey? Wherever it is, we can work it out together!”
Saiki shakes his head more aggressively this time, trying to will her to understand. He’s locked his feelings about his brother away since he was old enough to understand why he needed to. Kusuke brings something ugly out in Saiki, and he has to shut down or he may just crumble the world with it.
“Kusuo. Nothing is going to be solved if you don’t talk about this. If you don’t face your feelings they’ll find other ways to come out.” His mom is right, of course. But she’s so sad and ‘ she’ll only be worse off if she hears about what Kusuke-‘
“Kusuke? Is this about him?” His mother squeaks.
Shit. She heard me. It’s been a long time since I’ve lost control of my telepathy like that.
“Kusuo. What happened?” Her voice turns serious, none of her previous softness in sight, now she’s scowling and her eyes are lighting with fire. Her thoughts are whirring past him so fast he can barely make them out, but they’re all painted a dark purple and red, dangerous and sorrowful all in one.
‘I don’t wanna talk about it.’ His tone in her head is final. He will not tell her what happened. He will not. He’s shaking, so close to confessing everything; the volcano, Kusuke’s multiple attempts on his life, his ever-creeping depression, his anxiety, the meltdowns she doesn’t know about, everything. But if he doesn’t get out of here right this minute he will collapse in her arms and ruin everything. He’ll put this ten-ton burden on her shoulders and she’ll internalize it, she’ll take it on and want to talk to Kusuke, always so desperate to make her sons get along.
So he teleports, with no destination in mind, just the solid fact that he needs to get the hell out of here right now or he’s going to do something he’ll regret.
Saiki blinks sun (and water?) out of his eyes, laying on the back of a fluffy cloud, hovering right above the puffy object. He sits up, looking around the meager skyline he can make out through the afternoon light and cluster of fluffy clouds. So he’s still Hidari Wakibara region, or rather above the Hadari Wakibara region.
He’s floating about 500 meters above the city, flying among the peach-dyed clouds. Silence reigns here, and Saiki instantly relaxes.
I suppose my mind thought this place was safe.
He lays back down, pretending the clouds are holding him up like he used to when he was little. A breeze plays through his hair and he lets the sun beam on him for a moment, leaching its warmth like he’s starved for it. It soothes over the cold feeling in his gut. There’s something about seeing his world reduced to tiny pinpricks that settles his jitteriness. Everything is so much simpler from this high up, and he seems to have left his problems on the ground.
It brings a peaceful smile to his face, and though this whiplash of emotions is unpleasant, the relief and happiness is not. He feels like he did when he was 7, overwhelmed by Kusuke’s constant games and teleporting up here with a coffee jelly. Or when his father asked him for one too many favors in a row, he’d grab a manga and read in his bed of clouds for hours. His only friends are the startled birds who think he’s one of them.
Saiki scans his surroundings and traces the curves of the river, the wind-swept moors of the nearby hills, and the clusters of buildings making up his town. He breathes deeply and soon finds his mind wandering back to the ground below.
A few days ago his powers barely felt functional. Now he feels like every power is cloying to be used, begging to be let out. He needs to go to his desert spot and practice, blowing rocks up, and testing his speed. Maybe he’ll feel better after he does.
If I am stronger, then I can defeat the volcano, then I can use Kusuke’s power sealer. Then I can finally be rid of these cursed powers!
He teleports again, so quickly that he falls over when he arrives on the rocky plains. He puffs out some breaths and tosses some pebbles into the lower atmosphere to get some of that restless energy out of his system. It’s about mid-morning here by the look of the sun and Saiki takes in a few deep breaths, letting the total silence of no one around soothe him. But it doesn’t last and the itch to do something regains strength, wiggling into his brain.
So he gets up and starts. Massive boulders are reduced to halves, then thirds, and sixths until they’re ground into dust that clings to Saiki’s clothes. His power is strong, no sign of fatigue behind any of his hits. He’s faster than he’s been in ages and a wave of excitement surges through him. Genuine happiness blooms in his gut at the thought that maybe, just maybe he’s strong enough to defeat this volcano.
Near-giddy is not an emotion that Saiki feels often, but he has to take advantage of this moment, of this rare burst of confidence (or is it desperation) that is pushing him to get this done, to shed his powers. With the disastrous week he’s had, he needs wants a win.
He doesn’t think, he can’t think about this too much, so he teleports to Oshimai, to the slope that he has arrived on each year, that familiar dread pooling in his gut. Am I really going to try to fight this volcano after Mikoto’s warning?
But he’s stronger now, he’s just beaten all his record times. He’s on a roll and then he can tell his mom that it was the volcano he was worried about. Nothing about Kusuke… she doesn’t ever have to know how much it hurt him when Kusuke pulled up, strapped in that stupid cat tank. Stupid… it’s all so useless to be worrying about something that’s already happened.
A hot wind blows past him and he blinks back to himself.
Volcano. Right.
His eyes scan the area, taking stock of the literal blubbing mass of lava just under the mantle surface. It pops and gurgles threateningly but Saiki merely blinks down at it, no emotions clouding his scrutiny; he’s turned them off the moment he left his mother crying in his bedroom.
Saiki pulls out his left limiter and pockets it. Then he finds the best position to settle on the dirt and grass, then gets on his knees with his palms pressing into the hot earth.
He closes his eyes, takes a breath, and pushes with all his combined strength, apporting as much lava as he can into space. The rush of his psychic powers fills him with a burst of adrenaline, and he does in fact feel the burst of lava at the top of the volcano siphon off, but it’s not enough and the volcano feels like it’s fighting back, hot lava bursting from the gap, and spreading to other cracks in the earth. Lava cracks from the surface and sears Saiki’s hands. He grits his teeth and sends a giant scoop of lava into space, but it’s still coming, bubbling and oozing off the sides, coming close to where he’s still crouched. The heat from the steam is 10x as bad as his pyrokinesis and he feels his face burning like a rapid sunburn.
Saiki, now desperate and in full awareness that he can’t win today, apports lava with about 100 tons of ocean water, which cools the boiling lava building to the brim and releases a hiss of steam. He wrenches a chunk of rock and levitates it over the opening, then seals it with his burned hands.
Fuck. Saiki thinks, falling onto his back on the dark grass and letting tears burn and itch down his face.
I failed.
Again.
Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ
‘Toritsuka, are you hurt?’
“Saiki, your psycho brother made me do it, I swear!”
‘I know. Are you hurt?’ Saiki asks, tone urgent even in Toritsuka’s head.
“No, I’m just pretty wiped and have some bruises.” His hand is wrapped around his chest protectively. “You look way-“
Saiki places a hand on his shoulder and instantly his face becomes less pinched, his stiff posture easing.
Saiki’s knees nearly buckle but he keeps himself upright out of sheer stubbornness.
“Woah, Saiki! Don't waste your strength healing me! I’m fine, you look way worse off, you’re barely standing.”
He teleports them out of there before Kusuke can regain his composure and do some other idiotic thing.
They appear in Toritsuka’s room and Saiki falls to his knees, painting little breaths. Toritsuka follows suit, puffing out breaths with his hands on his knees.
“That. Was. Insane.” Toritsuka pants.
‘I know.’ Saiki replies, sitting on the floor with a thud, his legs shaking too much to stop it.
Toritsuka sits beside him, trying to catch his gaze, but Saiki stares resolutely at the floor, waiting for his brain to come back online. He’s too tired to do more than sit on the floor and breathe. His ribs ache, his head is pounding, and his heart squeezes painfully in his chest. All the while, his head is fuzzy, picking up thoughts in a 200-meter radius, but their thoughts sound staticy, like Saiki’s a badly-tuned radio.
He closes his eyes and sees his brother, attached to that stupid cat tank, looming closer. He can hear the sound of the energy beam, see the holes it creates behind him, crumbling rock and concrete. He can hear his brother’s laughter as the beam grazes his left shoulder. He opens his eyes and glances down at his shoulder, to see the wound caked with dried blood, no longer oozing. He doesn’t really feel it hurting, though his whole body aches in a way that feels half-remembered from childhood. A way he never wanted to feel again since his limiters were made.
“Saiki, hey, snap out of it!” Toritsuka snaps in front of his face and Saiki reels back from it, his heart kicking into high gear again.
“Woah, you’re freaking me out, dude,” Toritsuka replies, annoying as ever now that the danger has passed.
‘Back off, Toritsuka.’ Saiki warns, crossing his legs and blinking a few times to clear his spotty vision.
“Is he gonna try again?” Toritsuka asks, despite Saiki’s clear don’t fuck with me energy.
‘Not for a while probably.’ Saiki mumbles in his head to the purple-haired medium.
“Wait, you’re saying he will do this again? Try to kill you or kidnap one of your friends?!”
Saiki glares at him, ‘Quiet down, your mom thinks you’re studying. And probably. He already tried to get my grandparents and their whole town to take me out a few months ago.’
And he had thought that was crazy, but kinda funny. Just another reason Kusuke was insane and too obsessed with winning. But now… now he’d shown Kusuo just how far he’d go. His heart squeezed painfully and he took a shaky breath. His teeth began to chatter as his adrenaline wore out. His body feels like lead and if he didn’t leave soon he’d fall asleep on Toritsuka’s floor. He didn’t need another reason to make Toritsuka hate him more.
Sure he can read Toritsuka’s thoughts and he only hates Kusuke, and he doesn't even care what he thinks. But still, the guy got kidnapped for two days. He ought to want Saiki out of his life after this. It gives Saiki the perfect reason to distance himself from the weirdo perv anyway.
No harm done is what he can convince himself.
It works.
He turns to make eye contact with Toritsuka, just to emphasize how important his next words are.
‘Toritsuka. You can’t tell anyone what happened. Not your parents, my parents, and definitely not anyone at school. No adults, no students, no ghosts. I’m serious. It’ll only fire Kuskue up more to hear that he thinks he got to me. Understand?’
Toritsuka puffs out a huge breath, “What about-” Saiki cuts him off with a vigorous shake of his head.
‘No parents.’ he replies, knowing what Toritsuka was going to say. Tell your mom you were studying at my house. She won’t check, I’ll make sure of it.’
“You’re going to mind-control my mom?”
‘You’ve done worse.’ Saiki deadpans, already past done with this conversation, ‘Now promise you won’t tell anyone.’ He gets up in his face, trying to look as imitating as possible.
It works, Toritsuka scrambles back and puts his hands up in surrender, “I promise I won’t tell anyone! Just… take care of yourself, okay Saiki?”
Is that genuine concern swirling around the medium’s head? Saiki shakes it off and stands weakly, using the last of his strength to teleport out of there and to his room.
He sends some lie to his parents about being at a friend's all day studying and being exhausted. His parents don’t suspect a thing and Saiki collapses into bed, not even letting his mind go where it wants to, but for once, focusing on the inner thoughts of his family and neighbors.
Toritsuka wouldn’t tell anyone and soon today would be far behind him.
Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ
“Toritsuka told me everything so you can stop pretending-” Are the first words out of Mikoto’s mouth the moment Saiki teleports back to his room. Because of course she’s here waiting for him. She breaks off when she actually takes a moment to look at Saiki, then lets out of soft gasp and rushes over to the psychic.
‘I’m gonna heal, just calm down’ Saiki tries to mitigate some of Mikoto’s panic, but she shakes her head frantically, “Saiki, that looks really bad.” She points to his burned hands, and his seared cheek where lava splashed back at him.
“And don’t tell me to calm down, Saiki. You look like hell and I’m pretty sure you just fought a volcano, and you’ve been acting weird all week because apparently, your brother is a huge asshole!” She yells, throwing her hands in the air.
Saiki sits on his bed with a heavy sigh and focuses on healing himself. It takes longer than normal since he’s so drained again.
“Do you have a death wish or are you just stupid?” Mikoto asks and honestly, Saiki doesn’t know. He shakes his head and hides from her gaze by undoing his laces. His hand is already healed and the pain dissipating clears some of the fog in his head. He can think more clearly about how stupid he is for pulling a stunt like that.
‘It wasn’t my best moment,’ Saiki agrees.
Mikoto pulls up Saiki’s desk chair and looks him in the eyes.
“Saiki. Have you talked to anyone about this? Come to think of it, do you have anyone to talk to about this, since I assume your parents are out of the question.”
Leave it to Aiura to read people better than he does. And as much as she’s a nuisance, she’s direct with him and he appreciates that.
It’s probably going to come across as pathetic but he shakes his head, ‘Toritsuka was the only one who knew. And there’s no way I’m talking to him.’
Mikoto huffs out a dry laugh, “yeah good call on that one. Okay then, I know. Talk to me about it.”
‘Good grie-’
“Don’t ‘good grief’ me Kusuo.” She snaps, her thoughts turning to irritation at his stubbornness.
‘I don’t know what you want me to say.’ Saiki admits, deflating against his pillows and leaning against the wall, this way he doesn’t have to make direct eye contact with her.
“Mmmm,” Mikoto pretends to think, “maybe start by telling me why you thought taking on a volcano after the shit week you had was a good idea.”
‘The only other person I could ask for help with the volcano is my brother, but… well.’ He tried to kill me last time I saw him is left unsaid.
“Yeah, but are the Sai-Kickers chopped liver?”
‘Yes.’ Saiki deadpans, mostly to see Mikoto snort and roll her eyes.
“What I mean is, reach out to the people who do know about your powers. Tell us or better yet, me, about this volcano that you need to stop. How long have you known about this?”
Saiki sighs and launches into the story about 4 years ago when he first discovered the volcano. As he talks about his failures, Mikoto’s expression and thoughts remain open, and mainly amazed by Saiki’s attempts.
“4 years…” She muses, shaking her head.
Saiki leans his head against the wall behind him and puffs out a breath. He’s shaking again, bone-tired, and with nowhere else to put this exhaustion except face it.
“I’m sorry that this is on you. That must suck.” Mikoto says, making Saiki blink, bewildered, at her.
‘What?’ Saiki must have misheard. No one besides his mother has ever shown anything but admiration and jealousy at discovering his powers. Let alone sympathy.
“I said I’m sorry that you have to save Japan. That you have these powers. It seems like a lot.”
Saiki’s eyes well and he keeps them firmly shut. Not that Mikoto would judge, she’s right, he’s had a shit week. But he’s not ready to be this open to his mother, let alone Mikoto.
‘Kusuke offered me a way to take away my powers. After I beat him. He said it would take them away forever.’
Mikoto freezes and Saiki opens his eyes, hoping they’re dry enough for her not to notice.
“He did? That seems… too good to be true.”
‘His main goal was always to beat me. We’d be on an even playing field if I took my powers away.’
She whistles and leans back in his chair, looking at the ceiling. Saiki can hear how uncomfortable she is with his honesty about his brother. He supposes other sibling rivalries don’t usually go this far.
“So are you gonna use it, after the volcano?”
Saiki nods, meeting her gaze. ‘In an instant. That’s when I plan to tell the others about my powers.’
“You plan on telling them about your superpowers when they’re gone. I see, you think they won’t like you with your powers? Or what?”
Saiki huffs, ‘they’ll know I’ve been reading their minds, and causing havoc in their life.’
“Toritsuka and I are just fine with it. They will be too.”
Kusuke’s words keep snapping back to him, “It’s going to drive your friends away when they find out how you spy into their personal thoughts.”
Saiki lays down, ‘I’m tired. Time for you to leave.’
Mikoto sighs, thinking well, it’s more than he’s ever opened up before, it’s a start.
“Alright Kusuo. But talk to your mom soon, she looks worried. Just let her in a bit, kay?”
‘My mom let you into my room?’
“Yep!” She salutes him, smirking, “ Talk to her.”
Saiki nods, knowing of course that she is right again.
“Also,” Aiura turns before opening the door, “you don’t have to go spilling all the tea to your friends. But you can still let them in, tell them when you’re having a hard time. Know that they’ll be there for you like you’ve been there for them.”
‘I’m not there for-’
“Don’t bullshit me, Kusuo. I’m an oracle. I’ve seen you do some pretty nice and rather heroic things for your friends.” And with that, she turns on her school demeanor, with stars practically twinkling around her as she calls, “I’ll see ya around!”
She throws him a peace sign and Saiki’s lips turn in a small smile. The best peace offering he can give her now.
She leaves and Saiki hears her say goodnight to his parents, who are watching TV in the living room.
Saiki thinks over Mikoto’s words and finally telepathically talks to his mother, ‘We can talk tomorrow if you want. I’m going to bed now.’
‘Okay, Ku!’ His mother’s thoughts turn delighted and relieved that her son is finally opening up a bit. But she’s thinking he is going to tell her he’s dating Mikoto.
What a pain, I’ll have to clear it up tomorrow.
Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ Ψ
Seriously? Since when does Nendo come to Cafe Mami on a weekend? He usually ropes Kaido and me to go with him to get ramen, but he’s not that interested in coffee. I either leave now or he’ll definitely see me.
At least the coffee in front of Saiki is delicious. He’s already devoured his coffee jelly and is considering ordering a second just to treat himself. If Nendo doesn’t see him, the rest, he can block out and then go home.
Or so he thinks…
Until Teruhashi arrives, fan club in tow. Once she spots Saiki, she politely shooes off her fanclub and they leave looking equal parts deflated and angry at Saiki.
“Saiki!” Oh, he’s here, I knew he would be! Since Mikoto tipped me off that he would be here around this time, I can finally hang out with him one-on-one!
Saiki groans at the thought of Teruhashi disrupting his peaceful start to the morning. He’s already dreading his talk with his mother along with fatigue from his volcano duel last night.
He either invites Nendo over and detours Teruhashi, or gets roped into a “date with Teruhashi” that Nendo will misconstrue.
Nendo it is.
Saiki waves his friend over, seeing Nendo turn and catch his eye, calling “Oh, hey pal!” and hurrying over, nearly knocking into Teruhashi on his way over. “Oh Teruhashi! Want to come and sit with my buddy and me? He already has a table!”
Who said I invited her? Saiki thinks, God really does love her.
“Oh! Sure! Hi Saiki, It’s great to see you!” She pretends to spot him for the first time.
Didn’t say the same to Nendo, I see. Saiki thinks sagely, scooting his chair away from Teruhashi who slides into the chair beside him. Nendo orders 3 pastries for himself and another coffee jelly for Saiki (“On me!”)
Okay, it may have been worth inviting Nendo over.
Mera comes out of the kitchen with their orders and Saiki is just waiting for the rest of the cast to show up at this point. Because his luck is so terrible.
“Coffe jelly for Saiki, a tea for Teruhashi, and three pastries for Nendo. You guys gonna let me have a bite, I’m on my break now!”
“Sure, come sit here,” Nendo pats the seat next to him, and Teruhashi groans internally, thinking about how her foiled date idea is getting further and further away from her. For once, Saiki agrees. There is no controlling his friends, no matter what his powers are.
And sure enough, Mikoto and Imu are the next to arrive, hand-in-hand. Imu’s mind goes crazy when she sees Teruhashi (who she still harbors a small crush) but she physically shakes her head and reminds herself that Teruhashi is “painfully straight.”
Saiki nearly chuckles out-loud at that one.
They pull up more chairs and Mikoto meets his gaze, her eyes searching his. She looks around at his friends and his coffee jelly and thinks to him, ‘Not too bad, right? Friends who want to be with you, and would still if you told them the truth. You may not like it, but they’re here to stay.’
‘Sounds like a pain for sure.’ Saiki replies, only really half-honest, ‘but I guess I can give this trust thing a try.’
She winks at him and turns back to her girlfriend, who is ordering them both coffees.
Hairo comes running in next, stopping here after his morning 5k. He greets everyone with a broad smile and an offer to pull up a few more chairs for the rapidly filling table.
He sits and orders an orange juice, asking everyone how they’ve been. A few launch into stories about their week, Imu telling them about class 1 shenanigans. Mikoto and Saiki join in to rib on Toritsuka with her, even though Hairo disapproves of talking about a classmate behind his back. Others offer up stories and his classmates are enraptured by a story Teruhashi is telling.
“Hey buddy! What’s been going on this week? I’ve barley seen you.” Nendo asks after a lull in the conversation.
Everyone falls silent to listen to Saiki’s response. He is tempted to shrink back from all the attention but pushes through, thinking about Mikoto’s words, he doesn’t have to tell them everything. Just something.
‘I’ve.. had a rough week honestly.’
The group frowns in near-unison, most shocked to hear him speaking so candidly, others thinking how they knew something was up with him.
Kaido and Kuboyasu enter the cafe before any can respond, the two hand in hand and blushing furiously.
The group’s attention is diverted by the fact that two in their group finally got together.
Good grief, they’ve been pining for about a year now, it’s about time.
They pull up more chairs for them and the group reaches a small uproar. Saiki braces for the noise to rattle him, but it doesn’t. Annoy, sure. But the sounds aren’t overly loud like they’ve been all week. They’re just regular annoying.
Saiki notices Nendo slide his extra chocolate croissant toward Saiki silently as the others are asking how Kaido and Kuboyasu got together.
Saiki, who has already finished his second coffee jelly, smiles openly at Nendo and takes a happy bite of the croissant. Nothing I can do will change this dummy kind-hearted guy’s feelings of friendship toward me, he thinks. He looks around the table full of near 3rd years and takes another contented bite.
Maybe Kusuke is wrong. Maybe his friends wouldn’t hate him if he tells them the truth, but just accept something he can’t change about himself (unless of course he uses that power sealer, but that’s for another fanfic.)
“Saiki, anything we can do?” Kaido asks, clearly filled in by Mikoto who is sitting beside him.
Saiki shakes his head, ‘I just… need time, I guess. Sorry if I’m aloof.’ He feels the need to add, perhaps as another olive branch for all the times he’s literally turned invisible to avoid them.
“Saiki, you don’t need to be sorry about that. We know how you are and we are your friends however you are. We just want you to be okay.” Kuboyasu replies, all sincerity and loyalty behind his words. They all chatter in agreement.
It’s touching, really and Saiki’s lips turn in a smile.
Saiki thinks that maybe, one day he’ll tell them everything. But for today, he’ll order another coffee jelly and let his friend’s laughter lighten his dark corners.