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"Mission…complete."
As soon as the Wing pilot announced his victory, cheers and congratulations erupted over the comms-link.
For once Duo was silent, blinking away the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. Heero is alive. Against all odds, even when presented with the perfect sacrificial suicide plan, that crazy bastard decided to live.
He leaned back into the darkness of his own gundam's cockpit and watched as the scattered remains of Libra disintegrated into the Earth's atmosphere. The image of Wing struggling to lock on to its target was seared into his mind. As Heero's gundam splayed out in a fiery shroud of incandescent plasma, Duo had been convinced he was witnessing the burning, desperate last moments of a dead man. It was a chilling thought even for the likes of Shinigami.
Minutes passed until there was a familiar beep of a direct comms channel link.
"Duo?"
Quatre appeared on the vid-screen looking pale, his bangs plastered to his forehead with sweat. A weak smile played at the corners of his mouth.
"Jesus, Q, you alright?"
"I'll be fine," he said, expelling a small huff of air. "There are survivors on MO-II. We've been instructed to rendezvous there. It's not far."
"Say no more. Hey–get straight to whatever medical get-up they have when we get there, yeah? You look like hell."
"I will."
Duo felt his heart still pounding and focused on his breathing as he changed course for MO-II and placed Deathscythe on autopilot. Slowly the adrenaline gave way to the residual aches and pains of battle. He rubbed his shoulder idly as he studied the damage to the other four gundams flanked on either side. Mentally inventorying in an attempt to quiet his mind after the events of the past 24 hours.
He sighed, grimacing against the memories that flooded in–nothing could truly distract him from what replayed in his head. The shit he said. The shit he did. It was all meant for a man he assumed wouldn’t make it out the other side of the war. His feelings, his actions laid bare would just as soon evaporate into the soulless blackness of space. Another loved one taken from him too soon. His heart would ache, but he would move forward. He always did.
But now…
He found his fingers subconsciously hovering over Heero's direct comms channel. There was so much he wanted to say. But the short journey to the resource satellite was not the time or the place.
“The war is really over…” He heard Trowa say to everyone quietly. More quietly than usual.
There was no further chatter on the comms-link among the pilots. They all made their way to MO-II in stunned, exhausted silence.
–
Wing managed to coast gracefully into the satellite's hangar despite its damage–a testament to its pilot’s skills. The remaining four gundams lined up unceremoniously, their marred alloy gleaming dully under the hangar lights. As his cockpit depressurized, Duo stretched his limbs and yawned to unpop his ears. Deathscythe’s hatch opened with a hiss, echoing along with the other gundams as their pilots exited to stand on their unlatched doors.
Wufei surveyed the damage to Altron, his back to the others. In the low gravity of the hangar, Trowa made his way to Sandrock. Duo watched as he emerged shouldering Quatre, who grimaced and clutched at his side. The hangar door leading to MO-II’s interior opened, and Sally rushed toward them with a medkit.
“Quatre! Trowa briefed me on what happened with Dorothy. We have a med bay set up for the wounded. Come with me.”
As Trowa helped guide Quatre down, Sally looked to the three remaining pilots with a watery smile.
“The White Fang and the Earth Sphere are signing a peace treaty as we speak. Great job, everyone. Please make your way to the med bay so we can get you checked out. We have it set up right through this door.”
“Thanks, Sal!” Duo managed to shout, his voice sounding foreign and strained to his own ears.
“No,” Sally countered, “I should be thanking you.”
Her voice shook as she thanked them, placing a hand over her heart before turning to Trowa and Quatre and leading them away. Duo watched the three of them leave, unzipping his flight suit and stretching his neck from side to side. The buzzing of the hangar lights was suddenly deafening in the silence left behind.
Great, Duo thought, closing his eyes, I’m stuck with these two.
When he opened them again, he was surprised to see that Heero had made his way down to the ground and was now staring up at him. A shiver coursed down Duo’s spine as those cold blue eyes locked on to him, his expression unreadable as always. The impenetrable gaze of a should-be ghost.
Duo gave him a small smile and a thumbs-up, and Heero quickly looked away. Even from his high vantage point, Duo noticed a fine tremor in Heero’s hands. Heero turned and slowly made his way toward the interior door. Wufei and Duo followed behind him.
–
The med bay was a hushed chaos of surviving Peacemillion crewmembers and White Fang soldiers. Those with minor injuries sat shoulder to shoulder along the corridors. Makeshift curtains and partitions hid the more severely wounded. Several people bustled from patient to patient, armbands with a red cross denoting their status as medical team members.
Some of the surviving members recognized the pilots and nodded in acknowledgement with wan smiles. There would be time later to properly communicate their thanks.
Trowa poked his head out from behind one of the curtains and walked to meet the other pilots as they entered the area.
"How's Quatre?" Duo asked.
"He's in worse shape than we thought. Hemothorax from the stab wound to his chest. But Sally says he'll be ok. I'm giving her some space to work." Trowa rubbed his eyes with a worried frown.
"And you?" Duo tilted his head toward Trowa.
"I'm fine. Nothing more than a few bruises."
The two pilots regarded each other as the med bay came alive with activity around them. Duo didn't dare look at Heero. Not here, not now. At least not directly. While he made a concentrated effort to keep his eyes forward, something caught his attention in his peripheral vision–had the tremor he noticed earlier gotten worse?
"Yuy–" Wufei started to call his name, seeming to notice something was amiss, but was interrupted by a woman from the medical team. A medic.
"Gentlemen, Dr. Po advised I look you over while she works on your colleague," she said. "Please come with me." She directed them to a corner with a few chairs. Triage. Another medic met them with vital signs equipment. She pulled a curtain suspended from the ceiling, blocking them from the view of the corridor.
The three pilots took a seat, and Trowa leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. He had already been examined and cleared.
"Do what you gotta do," Duo said as they began checking his pupils with a pen light and fastening a blood pressure and heart rate monitor around his wrist. He kept his eyes cast down as the two medics performed the rest of their exams, trying to offer some shred of privacy to his fellow pilots as the medics worked their way down the line. Duo, Wufei, then Heero.
Eventually Duo and Wufei were cleared. The medics quickened their pace as they moved to Heero.
"Christ–" one of them whispered as she worked to fasten the equipment and assess Heero's status, "Kiser, get Dr. Po. Tell her she needs to see this." The other woman muttered an affirmative and quickly left the makeshift room. The air seemed to thicken with tension.
The medic stepped directly in front of Heero and addressed him loudly, "Sir? Sir, can you hear me?" She turned to Wufei at Heero's lack of response. "What's his name?"
"Heero." Wufei said quickly, his dark eyes darting between him and the medic. "Heero Yuy."
The irony of his name was not lost on her as she repeated his name, shaking his shoulders. Still no response.
Trowa craned his neck from his position against the wall. Duo lifted his gaze from where it had been focused on the floor. He leaned forward to peer around Wufei and look at Heero–really look at him–for the first time since they left the crumbling Peacemillion.
How the fuck had he not noticed before?
Heero was trembling. His chai skin was pale, emphasizing angry red burns that bloomed across his nose and cheeks. The wrist cuff struggled to read his blood pressure, recycling over and over with an angry mechanical whirr. Heero groaned softly as the medic held his drooping eyelids open, flashing the pen light from pupil to pupil. Sally strode into the triage area, Kiser in tow.
"What's going on?" Her voice was calm yet authoritative.
"He's only responding to noxious stimuli, ma'am. Pupils are minimally responsive. Heart rate is in the 150s, and his blood pressure–" the wrist cuff finally finished its measurement, "shit, 60s on 40s. He has burns to his face and neck…"
Sally's eyes and hands roamed Heero's body as she followed along with the medic's assessment. She too was unable to get anything beyond a groan out of Heero.
"I think parts of his flight suit are fused to his skin," the medic added with a grimace. Duo felt his stomach lurch.
"He's in shock," Sally confirmed. "Cannon,” she said, addressing the medic in front of Heero, “let's get him to exam room 4. Quickly. Kiser, with me." Kiser fell in step with Sally as she made her way toward the exam room, jotting down orders as Sally called them out.
Cannon straightened from her hunched position over Heero, steadying his shoulder with one arm. She looked at the three reeling pilots. “You’re all medically cleared. We’re running a skeleton crew, so I’m gonna need a little help here,” she said, “if you don’t mind.”
Duo had sprung to his feet before she even completed her sentence and moved to work his good shoulder under Heero’s other arm. Trowa and Wufei positioned themselves by his legs. They knew better than to delay anything by asking questions. As they lifted Heero from the chair, a low moan escaped his lips and his head lolled to the side, pressing against Duo’s cheek. Heat radiated from his exposed head and neck, feeling like a brand in the cold air of the satellite’s corridor.
Fuck.
The smell of sweat and charred flesh filled Duo's nostrils, overwhelming him with nausea. He steeled himself and hefted his shoulder more squarely under Heero's arm. Cannon provided directions, and together they guided Heero to exam room 4.
Don’t do this to me, buddy, Duo thought, not when you just beat the odds. Not when I have so much left to say to you.
–
They had left Heero in the capable hands of Dr. Sally Po and the medics and posted up outside of the room. Completely drained, they all leaned heavily against the opposite wall. Duo crossed his arms, feeling itchy and uncomfortable in his flight suit.
“And then there were three,” he chuckled to the others, earning wry, humoring smirks.
Laugh to keep from crying, right?
“I suppose the gundams were only designed to withstand one entry into the Earth’s atmosphere,” Wufei said, leaning his head back against the wall. He closed his eyes, suddenly looking very tired. They were now bordering on 36 hours without sleep.
Duo saw a Wing Gundam fireball flash in his mind’s eye. Saw the explosion spread across the edges of the Earth like a cancer. Imagined Heero’s screams as he was being burned alive. He shook his head, feeling a cold wave of dread wash over him.
“So were we, ‘Fei,” Duo said miserably.
Trowa gently placed a hand on Duo’s shoulder.
“Quatre and Heero are tough. They’ll be fine,” Trowa said. “I think the best thing we can do right now is get some sleep. I trust that Sally will keep us updated.”
“You’re right,” Duo conceded with a sigh. Despite the low gravity on the resource satellite, his limbs were starting to feel heavy.
“Sally had them make up a space for us to sleep undisturbed. Let’s go.” Trowa led them away from the med bay, all of them casting one last glance towards the two rooms that housed Quatre and Heero.
–
Duo quickly fell into a deep and thankfully dreamless sleep. He awoke a few hours later as Trowa came in with an armful of rations. Wufei was sitting up, retying his hair into a low ponytail. Both of them looked slightly less worse for wear.
Duo sat up, blinking the sleep out of his eyes and stifling a yawn as Trowa handed him a ration bar. Wufei grabbed one as well.
“Thanks. Any news?”
“They’re both doing better,” Trowa said as he took a bite. “Sally says both of them will probably be good to go tomorrow.” Duo and Wufei looked at Trowa in surprise.
“Tomorrow, huh?” Duo asked around a mouthful of food, feeling relief flood his aching chest. “That Sal is some gal.”
“Quatre had blood drained from his lung. She wants to watch him overnight and make sure his pain is under control before sending him out. Heero perked up after getting some IV fluids and antibiotics. It took them hours to peel his flight suit from his skin, but the burns aren’t as bad as they had anticipated.”
“Jesus fuck–” Duo sputtered, nearly choking on his ration bar. Even Wufei stiffened at the nonchalant delivery of their fellow pilots’ conditions. “Warn a guy, would you?” Duo wasn’t sure he would’ve been able to stomach the rest of the disgusting ration bar anyway. Trowa shrugged and balled up his own empty wrapper.
“There are showers and clean sets of scrubs set aside for us. Sally said by the time we got cleaned up that Quatre and Heero would be ready for visitors,” he said. “We should plan to meet back up in an hour.”
–
The water pressure in the showers was shockingly good. Duo reveled in the access to hot water it as it sluiced over his aching body. Bruises in the shape of his five-point harness were starting to appear on his chest. He stood with his arms braced against the tile wall, his long hair drinking in the much-needed conditioner he had applied. He watched the water through his bangs as it snaked its way to the drain in the middle of the floor.
What the hell was he even going to say to Heero? Where could he possibly start?
Those undercover assignments at the boarding schools, furtive glances across shared dorm rooms. How the moonlight played off the planes of Heero's face as he slept. The way Duo had become accustomed to the sound of Heero’s breathing–how watching the rise and fall of his chest had helped lull him to sleep and quiet his nightmares.
Duo remembered the abject horror he felt watching Heero self-detonate, how he shook with rage watching Heero's lifeless body plummet to the ground. He relived the moment Heero broke down the door of his prison cell after he had been captured and aimed a gun at his head. How could he tell him that the most comforting thing he had ever felt in his life was knowing that the man he loved and presumed dead was in fact alive and had come to kill him?
Heero ultimately decided to turn an assassination attempt into a rescue mission. Delirious from hours of torture at the hands of Oz soldiers, Duo found himself craving a gentler touch. He reached for Heero's hand while crouched on the floor of a descending elevator during their escape.
“Mission.” Heero had growled through his teeth while pushing Duo's hand away. His eyes practically glowed with aggravation in the emergency lighting of the elevator car as he gripped his stolen rifle. “Push the detonator on my mark.”
Cold, calculating, dazzling. It was all heartbreakingly Heero.
After that day, they tumbled through mission after maddening mission, each one bringing countless similar missed opportunities. Constant brushes of affection repelled the two of them just as quickly as they had brought them together. After a year, Duo had finally reached his breaking point and decided to detach from the situation completely.
As if he could scald the memories away, Duo increased the temperature of the water.
–
Peacemillion shifted to another night cycle, and a handful of its dayshift crewmembers and occupants made their way to their bunks to attempt some semblance of sleep.
Duo wasn't one of them. No way he would even try to sleep with the battleship Libra looming in the distance. Tensions were boiling over. It was only a matter of time before they would make their next move known. He wanted eyes on the situation, and the darkness of the bunks felt too vulnerable, too claustrophobic.
Instead Duo had taken to wandering and admiring the Peacemillion. Beyond its impressive mechanical and tactical abilities, Howard had truly outdone himself in its design. Large windows looked out into the stars and vast emptiness of space. The light blues of Earth glowed and hauntingly illuminated the corridors. It reminded Duo of the stained glass windows of the ill-fated Maxwell Church.
It was a welcome nightly distraction with just the right mixture of nostalgia and melancholy. The only safe and vaguely peaceful place he had in what would come to be the final few days of the war.
He hopped onto the ledge of his favorite window and sat, hugging his knees to his chest. He closed his eyes and rested his temple against the reinforced glass. Duo imagined Father Maxwell swinging the thurible and could practically smell the incense, its smoke tickling his nostrils. He almost didn't hear the approaching footsteps.
"Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm supposed to be in my bunk, but there's just no way I can–" he turned toward the sound, stopping mid-sentence. "Heero," he said simply, feeling a tight knot of dread in his gut. He swallowed loudly, his throat suddenly dry.
Heero seemed just as surprised to see him, rooted to the spot as they stared each other down. After a moment, he turned to walk away.
"Heero, wait!" Duo hissed after Heero's retreating figure. When he showed no signs of stopping, Duo hastily dismounted from his window perch and ran after him. He grabbed Heero's arm in an attempt to pull him back.
"Don't walk away from me. Heero!"
Heero wrenched his arm free as he continued doggedly on his path. Duo grabbed his arm more forcefully and spun him around to face him. Seething white hot anger overtook him.
"What the fuck?"
Now suffused with Earth's light, Heero's face was in full view. Dark circles appeared underneath his eyes, the look in them like that of a cornered wild animal.
"What's your deal, huh?" Duo half-whispered. His heart ached and burned in equal measure. He tightened his grip on Heero's arm.
The intensity of Heero's stare bored into Duo's very existence. The eerie glow amplified the same fiery gaze he had seen time and time again throughout the course of the past year. But Duo wouldn't look away. Not this time. Thoughts of Heero had intruded in his every waking moment. He'd be damned if he was going to let Heero ruin his last shred of peace here on his favorite part of the ship.
Discomforted by the lull, Duo took a step closer. His grip on Heero’s arm was now tight enough to bruise.
"Well?"
“You weren’t in your bunk again,” Heero finally said. He spared a quick glance over Duo’s shoulder.
“Again? You keeping tabs on me, Heero?” he scoffed. “I’m off-duty. I can go where I damn well please.” Duo released Heero’s arm and countered with an icy glare of his own.
"I–"
"Save it, bud. You don't need to monitor me. I'm fine. I'll be fit for duty come day cycle, don't you worry. Just get out of here," Duo sneered, perhaps more viciously than he intended. He turned and began to walk back towards the window. "Goodnight," he added, waving him off.
"I can't sleep…" Heero continued.
"Yeah? Join the club."
"No, I mean I can't–"
"Howard has a whole stockpile of sleep aids, so just–"
"I can't sleep without you there!" Heero half-shouted, his stilted baritone reverberating off the walls. The unusual display of emotion stopped Duo dead in his tracks.
"You haven't been in your bunk for days. I haven't slept since we got here." Out of the corner of his eye, Duo saw Heero run a hand through his hair, pausing to grip it at the crown of his head. "I finally realized that those two things were related."
Duo looked at him over his shoulder.
"Please…" Heero said with an air of desperation that caused the hair on the back of Duo's neck to stand up, "I'm so tired. I'm so tired of all of this."
Heero took a few staggering steps towards Duo, who moved just in time to brace him as he slumped to the ground, utterly exhausted.
"Heero, Jesus, what–get a hold of yourself!"
"Please help me sleep," Heero pleaded desperately, his bloodshot eyes fixed sadly on the ground. "Please."
Duo felt like his heart had shot into his throat. Here was the defender of the Colonies, the indomitable Heero Yuy, in a crumpled heap on the floor begging for the mercy of sleep. Duo supposed even The Perfect Soldier had his limits, but felt vaguely sorry and embarrassed for him all the same.
Duo repositioned Heero against him to splint his boneless neck and shoulders. He felt a thrill despite himself–this was the closest Heero had ever allowed him since supporting his weight during the rescue mission. His skin was surprisingly soft and warm. He seemed human.
"In sleep deprivation testing, my physiological and cognitive function declined severely after 120 hours," Heero said.
Ok, maybe not totally human, Duo thought smugly.
"How can I help, pal?"
"Just be with me. I don't care where. Just be here with me so I can sleep. They’re all…counting on me. I won’t be of any use without sleep."
“Why me? Why seek me out?”
“Because I realized,” Heero paused, and after a brief exhale, continued, “you make me feel safe.”
A whirlwind of emotions overtook Duo as he watched Heero move restlessly with delirium. Heero spoke more words to him now than he had over the past few months. The sincerity of them was blistering, humbling them both. They sat in silence for a time, Duo still awkwardly propping Heero up. The two men stared in opposite directions. Duo was glad that Heero didn’t see the blush spreading from his neck to his cheeks and ears.
Duo shook his head and cleared his throat. This was all too much to unpack. “Well, bud, I’ll let you in on a little secret: I’ve been sleeping right here at this window. It ain’t the comfiest, but the views can’t be beat.” He looked wistfully towards it, willing it to imbue him with the peace he had before he was interrupted. Duo shifted his weight to stand, and Heero followed suit.
Duo moved to a locked compartment just below the large ledge of the window. He reached into the base of his braid and pulled out a key, wordlessly thanked Howard for indulging him when he had asked for it days earlier. He unlocked the compartment and pulled out the pillow and blanket from his bunk that he had stowed away. Duo felt Heero’s eyes on him the whole time.
“Uh, so here–” he handed the items to Heero. “The ledge is just wide enough. And the temperature right against the window is perfect. It's a pretty prime spot, all things considered.”
Heero accepted the pillow and blanket, hesitating. “What about you?”
“Ha, I’ve slept in plenty of places without these luxuries, ‘Ro. I’ll be fine.” Duo was sure that Heero had too, but wanted to extend the comfort to the more sleep deprived of the two of them. “It still beats being confined to those damn bunks.”
“Thank you, Duo.” The way Heero sleepily pronounced his name, clipping it into one syllable with his Japanese accent–”Dy’o”–made his blush deepen.
“Yeah, man. Sure.”
Each man took up his post at opposite corners of the window. Heero placed the pillow between the frame and his back and leaned against it. He drew his legs closer to his body, mirroring the position he had found Duo in earlier. He spread the blanket over himself and canted his head toward the window.
Duo hugged his legs to his chest and did the same, suddenly feeling cold without Heero’s body heat. He curled in on himself. Silence settled in between them again, and Duo assumed Heero had fallen asleep.
“Quatre thinks tomorrow will be the final battle.” Heero said suddenly, “He senses something.”
“We’re dead men. Always have been. We’re way past our expiration dates,” Duo replied, thinking of the original intentions of Operation Meteor: a glorified suicide mission meant to demonstrate the power and intentions of the Colonies that had failed one year ago. “It’s just a matter of time.”
“Hn.”
~~
Duo wasn’t sure how much time had passed or how long he had dozed. It was impossible to tell. He had shifted positions while he slept, his right leg now dangling over the window’s ledge. His left leg was still drawn up with his knee relaxed outward, resting against the window. He became aware of movement opposite him, but sleep dragged him back down before he could fully open his eyes.
Suddenly he felt a warm weight on his chest, light at first but becoming progressively heavier. He opened his eyes to find himself practically nose to nose with Heero, the blanket wrapped around the other man’s shoulders.
“‘Ro?” he blinked owlishly, his voice groggy. “What are you–”
“You were shivering and talking in your sleep. I thought about stealing another blanket from the bunks, but I didn’t want to wake anyone.”
“I’m fine.”
“Your dreams seem to suggest otherwise.”
“I’m as fine as I’ve ever been.”
“Hn.”
Heero continued moving towards him, shrugged the blanket further up his shoulders, and encircled his arms around Duo’s torso. He sank into Duo’s chest, his legs splayed out behind himself.
"Body heat is more effective than a blanket anyway," Heero said, his voice muffled against Duo's grey tank top. Already his words were slurred, his accent thicker. His breathing slowed. He had fallen back asleep.
Duo's heart hammered in his chest. The man who had remained firmly out of his reach and avoided him at every turn was now sleeping on top of him. He could feel Heero's sinewy build and his warm breath against his arm. He could even smell him–a mixture of sweat and flight suit neoprene–probably from that goddamn green tank top he was always wearing, even now. It was comforting. It was fucking weird.
It was real.
After some consideration, Duo slowly brought his arms up and around Heero, burying them underneath the blanket that was wrapped around Heero's shoulders. After all, he thought to himself as he sunk into the embrace, why not? We'll probably both be dead this time tomorrow anyway.
~~
Duo was startled awake by lights, sirens, and shouting.
"Libra is not backing down this time!"
"Shit!"
"Sir, we've evacuated the rest of the crew."
"Where are they? Where the fuck are they?"
His consciousness shifted into sharp focus. Howard. Peacemillion. A deep rumble sounded from somewhere on the opposite side of the ship. They were under attack. Libra had broken yet another one of their promises.
Oh fuck!
Heero was awake, sitting at arms length away from him and looking out the window. Trying to make sense of it all.
Howard floated into view, dressed in a flight suit with a helmet tucked under his arm.
"Jesus Christ–I found them!" He shouted back to the remaining crew before addressing the confused pilots. "It's those fucking Libra bastards. You boys need to suit up and go. Now."
Heero and Duo pushed off down the corridor, sprung into action by the low gravity of the ship. They rounded the corner via a grab bar into the ship's hangar where their flight suits and helmets hung. Duo could see Heavyarms, Sandrock, and Altron hovering just outside of Peacemillion, warding off enemy fire. Wing and Deathscythe stood ready.
They scrambled into their flight suits, bodies humming with adrenaline. Fingers shaking with it. They shoved their legs and arms into the sleeves of the suits and pulled them up over their bodies, turned and helped each other with the zippers. The last steps involved locking the gloves and boots on each other's wrists and ankles.
Quatre thinks tomorrow will be the final battle, Heero's words echoed in Duo's mind. Echoed and echoed, feeding the bottomless pit in Duo's stomach.
Heero assisted Duo first, helping him encase his hands and feet in the final pieces and locking them in place. Duo helped Heero do the same. Their eyes never left each other's. Chaos swirled around them as an errant mobile suit beam hit the hangar, causing a scorching heat around them. Duo heard the airlock system of the hangar groan and start to lose pressure. His braid flapped wildly behind him as the air was sucked out.
Duo sealed the last glove on Heero's wrist, locking it in with a hiss and click. They picked up their helmets and positioned them under their arms. Heero took a step toward his gundam, but Duo held him in place with his free hand. Heero looked back, his eyes questioning.
Fuck it, Duo thought.
He cupped Heero's face and kissed him–fiercely, clumsy at first. A gnashing of teeth. Then Duo felt Heero open his mouth, softening and melting into him. Duo pulled back and a sparkle of tears flew through the air as he flashed a wide kiss-bruised smile. Heero's face was swollen as well. He was half-lidded and breathing hard.
"Find me in the afterlife, yeah?" Duo shouted right as an explosion of gunfire hit the hangar.
He tucked his braid and donned his helmet, then jumped off the platform to round into Deathscythe's cockpit. Duo made sure Heero made it to Wing before he sealed the door and fired up his gundam’s vernier thrusters.
–
Duo shut off the water with a groan, immediately missing the warmth. He grabbed the two towels hanging outside the shower cubicle and dried off, wrapping one around his waist and using the other to tend to his hair. He exited and made his way to the set of mirrors in the adjoining locker room. It was mercifully empty.
Once he recovered from the initial shock of seeing his haggard reflection, he got to work managing his hair. Sally's people had thought of everything, leaving him a hair dryer and a brush along with basic toiletries and a set of grey scrubs.
A few minutes later Duo was dressed with his hair mostly dry and braided. Ten minutes until he was to meet up with Trowa and Wufei. Ten minutes until he'd have to face Heero. He felt his face grow warm at the thought. Risking one last glance at the mirror in front of him, he was mortified to see a bright blush spreading under the smattering of freckles on his cheeks. He leaned over the sink and splashed cold water on his face.
You have time, he thought as large droplets cascaded from his nose. You have time to figure this out. We're alive.
Duo straightened, patted his face dry with a towel, and left. He turned the lights off on his way out with a decisive click.
–
The med bay was much calmer today. Those with minor injuries had already been treated and sent on their way. Only a handful of more severely injured remained, located behind the series of curtains and partitions. Sally had of course expected the pilots and slipped out of one of the rooms to greet them at the entrance to the corridor.
"You guys are a sight for sore eyes," she said cheerfully, rubbing her hands with hand sanitizer as she regarded each of them. "How are you feeling?"
"Much better after a hot shower and the fresh duds you gave us," Duo replied, tugging at the fabric of the front of his scrub shirt. Trowa and Wufei nodded in agreement. "Thank you, Sal."
"Not at all. It's the least I could do." Sally smiled warmly at the three of them before turning and motioning for them to follow. "I'll take you back to see them now."
Sally's booted footsteps echoed against the metal floor of the corridor as she led them. "We wound up resectioning the partitions and placing them in a larger area together. I figured it would be the best thing to do, for morale's sake. There are some things that are stronger than even our strongest medicine."
"Aw, Sally, are you talking about the power of friendship?" Duo asked in a saccharinely sweet tone, rallying against uncomfortable or serious feelings with lame jokes as usual.
"Something like that," she said with a wink. She stopped them in front of a larger set of partitions. "Quatre has agreed to fill you guys in, but I'm happy to answer any questions later. I need to check on a few people and catch up on some paperwork, so you go ahead." Sally started her journey back toward the other side of the med bay, calling over her shoulder for them to let her know if they needed anything.
Duo's steps faltered and he found himself falling behind the other two pilots as they pulled back the curtain and entered. He swallowed, his own saliva suddenly thick and choking. A pathetic sickness came over him as he heard the pilots exchange excited greetings. He sighed and forced himself forward. Even though Duo's beliefs in a higher power were questionable at best, he decided to make the sign of the cross before stepping over the threshold.
Seems as good a time as any for a potential celestial assist, he thought.
"Duo!" Quatre cried out, his voice enthusiastic despite its weakened state. Duo couldn't help but smile at hearing the joy and relief in Quatre's voice. Their whip smart tactical leader had gotten everyone back safely, all his little chickens coming home to roost.
"Yo, Quatre! How are you feeling?"
Three chairs had been set aside for the visiting pilots. Trowa and Wufei had taken their seats. Duo decided to forgo the remaining chair and take his place at the foot of Quatre's bed, sitting gingerly so as not to jostle the other man as he sunk into the crude mattress.
Quatre was shirtless and wearing a pair of the same grey scrub pants that seemed to be standard issue in this place. A large occlusive dressing spanned the left side of his petite torso where Sally had performed the previous day's thoracostomy.
"I'm fine. A little sore, but much better," he said, looking a bit sheepishly over at the other side of the room where Heero was lying. "I don't think it compares to what poor Heero has gone through though," he added quietly. Quatre's blue-green eyes shimmered a bit as he took in the sight of the man across from him. Duo followed his gaze.
Heero was asleep. Their conversation hadn't woken him.
"He was up all night and finally fell asleep about an hour ago," Quatre explained. Duo immediately felt a familiar pang of heartache and something akin to guilt. It felt like years had passed since they left Peacemillion.
I can't sleep without you there!
Clasping his hands in front of him, Duo dug his nails into his palms as Quatre continued.
"I have to admit, whatever modifications J performed on Heero during his pilot training have proved impressive. Not that I condone it, but he is healing at a rapid pace." He paused to catch his breath, lightly touching the dressing.
"Some kind of nanotech, if I had to guess. Based on what she's seen so far, Sally thinks the majority of the burns will be healed by tomorrow." Quatre turned back to face the others and fiddled with the drawstring of his scrub pants as he spoke.
"The rapid rate of regeneration has been really uncomfortable for Heero. He's had a pretty rough go of it," Quatre said, furrowing his eyebrows and focusing his eyes sadly on the tattered ends of string. "My abilities provide me with a glimpse of the pain he's going through. I only wish they allowed me to transfer some of it to myself and reduce his burden. Heero's been through enough."
Quatre's sad expression emphasized the dark circles that had formed underneath his eyes. The whites of his eyes were bloodshot. It was clear that he hadn't slept.
"You should've sent for us," Trowa said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms tightly over his chest. Beside him, Wufei nodded his silent agreement. "You had your own injuries to worry about. The rest of us made it out relatively unscathed. We could've helped, Quatre."
"Sally wanted to send for you guys, but I insisted against it," Quatre explained.
Duo watched as Trowa shifted in his seat. He was clearly agitated with the situation.
"It wouldn't have made a difference," Quatre said, raising his eyes and looking at Trowa. Duo saw Trowa relax minutely under the other man's gentle gaze. "He's incredibly resistant to pain medication and only got relief after they administered near-lethal doses. The medical team said they'd never seen anything like it." Quatre moved to grab a cup from his bedside table and took a thoughtful sip of water before placing it back.
"That's Heero for you," Quatre said, a bit breathless from the brief exertion. "Full of surprises."
You don't know the half of it, Duo thought as he studied Heero's sleeping form. Lying on his back, Heero was naked except for a towel that was draped modestly over his groin. His body was a patchwork quilt of burns in various healing stages, the worst of which were covered in hydrogel dressings. They mimicked the lines of his flight suit, and Duo shuddered as he imagined Sally and her team soaking and peeling it off a piece at a time. The burns on his nose and cheeks had almost fully healed and were barely visible.
A large bore IV had been started in his neck–the only area untouched by burns. Fluids and antibiotics hung from a metal pole and slowly dripped through a pump into the connecting tubing. A telemetry monitor displayed Heero's vital signs which were much improved.
The ongoing conversation among the three pilots soon faded into background noise for Duo. Instead he found himself staring at the live read out of Heero's heart rhythm. He leaned forward, hugging his knees to his chest, and sunk his chin heavily on top of them. He watched QRS complexes drift by, transfixed by how they leapt across the screen.
He's alive.
Duo took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, repeating to himself what had become his mantra:
We're alive.
–
Quatre tired out quickly and started dozing after an hour of visiting with the other pilots. Heero remained asleep.
"We should let them rest," Wufei suggested, stretching his arms above his head.
"Probably a good idea," Trowa agreed, his eyes lingering on Quatre's face. "We should get something more substantial to eat for lunch anyway." He and Wufei stood up in unison and started to gently move their chairs to the edges of the makeshift room. Duo remained seated at Quatre's feet, his eyes never leaving Heero. Duo cleared his throat softly.
"I'm gonna stay behind for a bit, yeah? I'm not hungry anyway," he said to the others, his voice feeling strange and far away. He couldn't bring himself to look at the two pilots as he addressed them.
"Maxwell, you should really–" He heard Wufei start to say, but was quickly cut off by Trowa.
"That's fine, Duo. We'll try to find you something decent in case you get hungry later."
"Thanks."
Duo heard them leave, a sweep of the curtain on its rings and receding footsteps. He hopped down from his position at the end of Quatre's bed in one smooth motion and grabbed a chair. He spun it and positioned it perpendicular to Heero, straddling the chair backwards.
Duo crossed his arms over the back of the chair and buried his face into them. He let out a long, shaky sigh as he listened to the soft beeping of the monitor, the humming of the IV pump. It was sterile and soothing all at once.
Duo tilted his head just enough to peek one eye out from where his head rested on his arms. Heero was still lying on his back with his arms at his sides, his position unchanged. He looked about as small and helpless as Duo felt.
It had been so long since Duo had really allowed himself to look at Heero. Over the past year he had purposefully avoided him in an attempt to detach from the whole situation. As if keeping him out of sight could truly keep Heero out of Duo's mind. Now, even under the desolate lights of the makeshift hospital, covered in burns and medical equipment, Heero was as beautiful as ever. It felt almost wrong to Duo to be drinking in the sight of him under these circumstances. But his eyes roamed his impressive musculature all the same, lingering on the curve of his lips, the faint bullet wound scars on his right arm and right leg.
Heero let out a small whimper and moved his head to the side. His eyes were squeezed shut in a grimace and his hands began to clutch at the sheet beneath him. Duo felt a small flare of panic in his gut as he saw the other man writhe in discomfort, sweat beading on his brow.
There are some things that are stronger than even our strongest medicine, he heard Sally say. Her cheesy words emboldened him. He reached out and placed his hand on top of Heero's.
His eyes shot open at the touch, wild and unfocusing. The blue of them was a shock of color in the pallor of the room.
"Hey, pal, it's ok," Duo murmured, stroking the other man's knuckles. Heero turned his head towards Duo's voice. His eyes slowly refocused and softened.
"Dy'o," he rasped. Duo felt like he might throw up what little he ate of the morning's ration bar.
"Yeah. Yeah, buddy. It's me," Duo said. He moved his other hand and slid it under Heero's, sandwiching Heero's hand between both of his. Duo gave a small squeeze of encouragement, wrapping his hands around Heero's hand protectively.
"I heard they gave you the good stuff," he half-whispered, choking off the emotion that suddenly tried to swell within him, "so just go back to sleep, yeah?" Duo forced himself to hold Heero's gaze, then added, "I'll be right here."
That seemed to satisfy Heero. His eyes closed slowly beneath his long lashes and his body relaxed as he drifted off to sleep again. Duo heard him whisper, barely audible, "Arigatou gozaimasu."
Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was the emotions of the past year catching up with him. Maybe it was how heartachingly vulnerable and scared Heero had looked just then, how it mirrored his own feelings. Duo felt something in him break. Tears welled up in his eyes and began to fall unbidden down his cheeks. He leaned his forehead against the back of the chair and tried his best to weep silently. His mind felt so loud in the quiet room.
"He cares about you a lot, you know." A familiar alto voice seemed to slice through the silence.
Quatre.
"Ah shit–" Duo sniffled as tears and snot ran down his face, unable to wipe them for fear of waking Heero by removing his hands. "I'm sorry, Q. I didn't mean to wake you up. I don't know what's gotten into me," he said, trying to add in a self-deprecating laugh but having it choked off by a sob. His shoulders shook with the effort of holding it all together.
"God–fuck–I can't–" Duo was nearly hyperventilating at this point. His attempts to calm himself down only accelerated his emotions further. An undignified hiccup escaped from his lips.
"It's alright, Duo," Quatre said soothingly. Duo heard Quatre let out a small grunt as he got out of bed and walked over to him. He felt the smaller man wrap his arms around his shoulders.
"So much has happened," Quatre said, "but you are right where you need to be."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Duo whispered fiercely as he tried to slow his breathing.
"I…I don't make it a habit of getting into people's heads," Quatre offered, sounding a bit sheepish. "But I wanted to help the medical team when Heero was in distress." Duo felt Quatre rest his head on his shoulder and strain to tighten his hug around him. "You were at the forefront of Heero's mind the whole time.
"You're the reason he decided to live."
"What?" Duo lifted his head to face Quatre but was met with emptiness. The warm embrace that Quatre had held him in was suddenly gone. The room came into focus with alarming clarity. Duo's arms were still folded on the back of the chair. His face was dry. Looking ahead, he saw that Heero was peacefully asleep, all of his burns now faded to a light pink.
He looked back towards Quatre's bed. Quatre was also asleep, unmoved, a small smile on his cherubic face.
Shaken, Duo resigned himself to finding something to eat and turning in for the night. He quietly slunk out of the room.
–
Night-time wandering was a past-time of Duo’s even before the war. He wandered the streets of L2 as an orphan until his shoes were full of holes. He wandered the sanctuary of the Maxwell Church, refilling the fonts with blessed holy water and sweeping the cobwebs out of the corners. He wandered into the vesting sacristy after picking the lock and ensured the altar linens and Father Maxwell’s chasuble were pressed and ready for the morning Mass. He wandered the ruins of the church after the fire. He wandered into the cargo hold of Howard’s ship and hid from the Sweepers, scurrying among their scrap and mobile suit parts like a wayward rat.
He wandered away from the various Earth safe houses they were stationed in during the war, slipping out under the cover of night to get a better look at the moon. He wandered Peacemillion night after night, and now his restless ways had him wandering MO-II.
Quatre and Heero had been medically cleared by Sally earlier that day, as anticipated. She had taken the opportunity to gather all of the pilots together and brief them on recent events following the conclusion of the war. The peace treaty between the Colonies and the Earth Sphere had been signed, and both parties had agreed to dismantling all weapons.
Duo had seen Heero shift uncomfortably as he listened, his unreadable eyes locked on Sally as she spoke.
"I'm sure you boys are curious as to what will happen to your gundams," Sally had said, lacing her fingers together under her chin and leaning forward on the table between herself and the pilots. "Howard is currently en route to Earth to negotiate a solution on behalf of yourselves as well as the Sweepers."
The tension Duo had felt in his shoulders had relaxed somewhat hearing this. He trusted Howard and was sure the man would serve as a worthy advocate for all of them. The negotiations would happen over the next few days. Sally had answered their burning questions to the best of her abilities and ensured them that she would keep them updated. She had instructed the pilots to stay put on MO-II until Howard and his team had determined a way forward.
In the meantime, Sally had shown them to their new living quarters in light of the extension of their stay and had gone over a general schedule for the next few days. By the time Sally had finished speaking with them, it was late. The pilots had gone their separate ways afterwards to decompress.
So much for "briefing", Duo had thought.
And so the holding pattern began. Sure, Duo would do as he was told and stay on MO-II, but "staying put" had never really been his style.
His wandering brought him to the hangar, the whoosh of the interior door echoing obnoxiously in the large space as it opened and then closed behind him. The overhead lights were off, and Duo was glad to not hear their incessant buzzing. Instead the night cycle path lights on the ground illuminated his way.
In the low gravity of the hangar, he pushed off from the ground and floated toward Deathscythe, opening its hatch. He nestled into the seat, running his fingers over the controls, and couldn't help but smile.
"Hey, buddy," he said softly into the darkness of the cockpit. "Long time."
As he started the boot-up sequence, he felt the need to explain himself. "Listen, buddy. Times are changing, and I can't risk giving you up to just anybody, you know?" He flipped a few switches and Deathscythe's screens flickered as they came to life. "We gotta let 'em know you answer only to Shinigami." Duo entered a few keystrokes and moved across the main screen. The cockpit was silent except for the light clacking of the keyboard and sporadic confirmatory beeps.
A few minutes later, Duo grinned upon examining his handiwork. "I'm encrypting everything–something I should've done a long time ago," he continued, "but better late than never, right?" He scanned the last few lines of code he entered with a critical eye, humming as he made some changes. "You're not going anywhere without me, you hear? Whatever happens next only happens with my blessing." He paused, then added, "and an intricate series of authenticators."
He put his hands behind his head and leaned back, propping his feet up while he waited for his program to finish running. He scanned the cockpit's interior, and a strange wash of feelings came over him. How many times had he sat in this seat thinking it would be his grave?
The familiarity of the worn leather seat soon had Duo nodding off. Deathscythe seemed to cradle him while he dozed.
A few minutes later, a loud beep signified completion and woke Duo up. He leaned forward, scanning the screen to make sure everything was in order. He ran one last system check and then moved to power everything down. "I'll see you soon, buddy," he said before flipping the last series of switches. The cockpit was dark again.
Duo turned to leave Deathscythe, but stopped as he became aware of a loud noise coming from outside. It was erratic and intermittent, startling in the otherwise silent hangar.
"Who the fuck?" Duo whispered to himself. He leaned back into the cockpit, feeling into the dark for the compartment that contained his handgun. He grabbed it and stepped back out, melting into the shadows as he dismounted noiselessly from the hatch.
Duo held his gun in front of him and scanned the dimly-lit hangar, peeking around the expanse of Deathscythe's foot. The sound came again, this time accompanied by large sparks of light to his right, and Duo immediately recognized the source. A welding torch, coming from the foot of Wing. He shielded his eyes with one hand and squinted into the darkness that was left behind as the torch stopped again.
He lowered his gun as he saw the welder more clearly: the unruly hair, the lack of protective equipment. He should have known.
Heero.
Duo stalked closer towards Heero's crouching form and stopped behind him.
"So you didn't get burned enough in the Earth's atmosphere and decided to try again with a welding torch, huh?" Duo said, chuckling. He clicked the safety back on and tucked the gun into the waistband of his pants.
Heero stilled. He lowered the torch carefully and turned to face him, looking up through his thick bangs.
"Duo," Heero said simply. Duo shuffled over and crouched beside him.
"Whatcha doin' here?" He asked, trying to peer ahead at Heero's workspace. Duo's relief and burning curiosity seemed to override any nervousness he might have felt in the moment.
"I could ask you the same thing," Heero replied, shrugging.
"Encrypting Deathscythe. Locking him down so he doesn't end up in the wrong hands. Seemed like the thing to do in the face of all this uncertainty." Duo laid his plans bare, not seeing any reason to hide them from Heero.
"Hn," was the reply, as usual.
"Alright, so out with it–what were you up to?"
"Wing needs repairs." Heero said, looking up at the mangled alloy. Duo followed his gaze up the charred height of Wing Gundam. It was in rough shape–far beyond what could be done without a major overhaul. Some of its parts hung at odd angles, torn along mechanical seams. Duo looked back at Heero with a grim smirk.
"Wing needs Jesus, pal," Duo sighed. He turned around and sat on the floor against the foot of Heero's gundam. "Ain't no fixing that without Howard's guys, and you know they're off fighting the good fight for us down on Earth."
Duo saw the embers of some kind of emotion flash briefly across Heero's eyes as he looked away from Wing. He too turned around and sat next to Duo against Wing's foot, wiping the sweat from his brow with his forearm.
"Besides," Duo said, staring out into the hangar across the other four gundams, "the war is over. Maybe there will be peace after all. Maybe we really won't need the gundams any more."
Duo's words seemed to dissolve into the quiet of the hangar. He leaned his head back to rest on the cool alloy. After a moment, Heero did the same. The two men sat, their gundams looming over them as if keeping watch. Duo stared out into the darkness until its edges began to swirl in his vision. Eventually Heero spoke.
"I don't know what to do with peace," he said, and Duo's heart ached from the implication. What would the world do with The Perfect Soldier when he was no longer needed? He began to fiddle thoughtfully with a loose bolt that was on the floor by his knee, picking it up and rolling it between his fingers.
"Me neither," Duo said, trying not to betray the fear that was threatening to spill over, "but we've been making it up as we go since we touched down on Earth, yeah?" He turned to face Heero and was surprised to find the other man already looking at him, those blue eyes searching his face.
"We'll figure it out," Duo added.
He smiled, suddenly feeling shy as he held eye contact with Heero. His curious bravado from earlier had worn off, leaving him feeling self-conscious and exposed. Duo looked away, focusing his attention on the bolt in his hand.
He felt his face being gently pulled to the side, calloused fingers guiding his chin as Heero slowly brought Duo's lips to his. There was no urgency, no explosions, no impending death, just the sweet desperation of a thousand missed opportunities.
Heero leaned into the kiss and Duo complied, canting his head and moving his lips against Heero's. Duo opened his mouth and flicked his tongue forward, licking at the plush line of Heero's lips. Heero sighed as he parted them, and Duo thrilled at the warmth while he pushed his tongue inside.
Duo brought his hand up to bury his fingers in the thick hair at the base of Heero's skull, the bolt skittering forgotten across the floor. He crushed Heero's lips into his, licking into his mouth, wanting to taste all of him. Heero followed suit, rolling his tongue over Duo's, matching him with ardency.
They pulled away slightly to catch their breath, their foreheads pressed together.
"I've been wanting to do this for so long," Duo whispered, his voice thick and hoarse with emotion. In the low light, Duo could barely make out the irises of Heero's eyes.
"Me too," Heero said. He reached out to tuck a piece of hair behind Duo's ear. Duo closed his eyes, tilting into the touch, letting out a soft moan. Heero seized the opportunity to claim Duo's open mouth again, biting Duo's lower lip as he pushed against him. Duo brought both of his hands up to cup Heero's cheeks as he surged forward, pinning Heero underneath him and savoring the hum of surprise Heero made into his mouth.
Duo took a minute to reposition himself, placing his knee in between Heero's thighs. His lips left Heero's, and he began to kiss his way down Heero's jaw and neck. Duo breathed in the scent of him, relishing the heady mix of sweat and soap and metal that was uniquely Heero.
He laved his tongue over Heero's quickening pulse point and pushed his knee into Heero's groin, feeling the hardness there. Heero let out a small appreciative groan at the sensation, and Duo became dizzy with the sound.
Heero brought his arms up, forcing his hands under Duo's shirt and running his fingers along Duo's sides. Duo jumped a bit at the touch, causing Heero to stop and lock eyes with him questioningly.
"Tickles," Duo said, nipping playfully at Heero's jawline. Heero moved his hands toward the middle of Duo's back, sliding them down the sleek lines of muscle until he reached the gun that was tucked into his pants. Heero paused and shot him another inquisitive look, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"The war just ended, 'Ro. Gimme a break," Duo purred against Heero's neck, languidly pumping his knee in between the other man's thighs. He watched as goosebumps appeared on his chai skin. Duo felt Heero reach beneath his waistband and remove the gun, checking the safety before placing it carefully out of the way.
In one swift motion, Heero rolled them both away from his gundam and pushed Duo to the ground. Duo yelped despite himself but was cut off as Heero kissed him hard, rolling his hips into the leg that Duo still had pressed against him. The material of their issued scrubs was thin, and Duo gasped as he felt the ridge of Heero's hard cock through the fabric, a small wet spot of precum slowly spreading at its tip. Duo's own cock throbbed with the awareness of it.
He carded his hands through Heero's hair as he kissed him, delighting in how the soft strands slid between his fingers. An unbelievable warmth spread throughout his body, pooling in his groin as he noticed the small sounds of pleasure Heero made, the way his breath hitched, the understated need.
Duo dropped his knee suddenly to the ground, and Heero made a noise of complaint, snapping his eyes open and pulling back to look at him. Duo kept his eyes trained on Heero's and gripped him by his hips, watching his blissful reaction as he pulled Heero on top of him. Heero's blown pupils disappeared under his long eyelashes as he began to grind his cock against Duo's. Duo hissed from the delicious, overwhelming feeling of it.
He couldn't help but grin as he arched into Heero in response. Here they were, the two of them dry humping and exploring each other's bodies like a couple of schoolboys that they never got to be.
Duo moved his hands underneath Heero's shirt and began to hike it up his torso. Heero rocked back onto his knees and sat up, yanking the shirt up off of his shoulders. As Heero tossed his shirt to the side, Duo became transfixed by the sight of him and stopped, feeling something akin to reverence.
Heero seemed to notice the intensity of Duo's stare and smiled faintly down at him, a tiny glimmer of teeth showing through his swollen lips. Instead of returning to his previous position, Heero leaned slightly back and braced his hands on Duo's thighs. A sheen of sweat covered Heero's heaving chest, his muscles on full display as he began to slowly resume the sinful roll of his hips.
This fucking guy! Duo thought as he watched Heero's inhibitions melt away in real time.
Duo licked his lips and swallowed loudly. The weight of Heero on the base of his dick, the undulating pressure on his balls was almost too much. He steeled himself against the mounting sensation, resolute, and moved to hook his leg around Heero's waist, twisting both of them firmly to the side. Evening the playing field.
They laid on their sides facing each other. Duo lightly traced Heero's chest, his fingertips ghosting over each nipple in their path. Heero's eyes closed, his mouth falling slightly open as he welcomed the touch. Duo closed the distance between them and kissed him roughly, dipping his hand below the waistband of Heero's pants.
Heero shuddered and bucked into Duo's hand as his fingers teased and closed around his cock. Duo thumbed the slit and swirled precum around the tip of Heero's engorged head. Heero broke the kiss with a startled moan, panting a quiet "yes" as Duo started to move his hand up and down the length of Heero's cock.
Heero began to thrust slowly, needily into Duo's loose grip, and Duo felt his own resolve start to waver. He pumped his hand in time with the rocking of Heero's hips, admiring the generous size of him, shivering as he felt the ridge of Heero's head pop in and out against the webbing of his thumb. Duo imagined being filled by him. He imagined the feeling of that ridge against his rim as Heero entered him. He swallowed hard as he imagined taking Heero to the hilt, feeling Heero's balls against his ass.
"Heero," Duo pleaded, surprising himself with the huskiness of his voice.
Heero's eyes opened at the sound of Duo's voice, half-lidded and far away with pleasure. Duo slid his hand out from under Heero's waistband to cup Heero's cheek. Before Heero could fully react to the abrupt loss of contact, Duo made his intentions clear.
"I want you to fuck me."
A breathy and desperate "hn" escaped Heero's bruised lips. He surged forward to kiss Duo, his hand fumbling towards Duo's waist, but Duo stopped him with a gentle hand splayed across Heero's chest.
"Not here though," Duo whispered, his mind scrambling, "I gotta think–"
This juvenile romp on the hangar floor had been fun, but it was getting riskier by the minute. Security would soon be making their rounds. MO-II was a modest operation, a small resource satellite with cramped living quarters and communal spaces offering next to no privacy–
Duo felt Heero's chest rumble beneath his palm as Heero let out a low growl. He had redoubled his efforts and craned his neck toward Duo's chest, setting his teeth against Duo's exposed collarbone.
Duo's breath caught as Heero sunk his teeth into taut skin.
–the shower cubicles were a no-go, as plenty of people used them throughout both day and night cycles–
Heero continued biting and lapping at Duo's clavicle. He dragged his hand down the middle of Duo's still-clothed chest, his abdomen, slowing slightly as it made its way along the fabric-clad length of his achingly-hard cock.
Heero cupped Duo's balls and pushed his fingers underneath them, applying pressure through the fabric of Duo's pants. Duo's hips jerked forward involuntarily. Heero pulsed pressure with his fingers while he licked up the side of Duo's neck, stopping at his ear.
"Hurry," Heero whispered before returning his attention to the muscles of Duo's neck, dragging his teeth over them.
"Aw fuck," Duo managed to gasp before biting back a shout and closing his eyes tightly. He felt Heero move his hand away and guide Duo's shoulder to lie on his back.
Duo willed his mind to resume thinking and closed his eyes even tighter in an attempt to concentrate. Heero was taking his sweet time, which was just as well, as Duo struggled to envision the satellite's layout. The locations of dark corners, storage closets–anything–completely escaped him.
–Where the fuck–
Suddenly Duo became aware of Heero's hand dipping beneath the waistband of his pants. The darkness behind Duo's eyelids turned to stars as he felt Heero's fingers, slick with a liberal amount of Heero's own precum, begin to lightly probe at his entrance.
Duo shuddered, driving toward the sensation, moving his shaking hands toward the front of his pants to rub desperately at his painful, neglected erection. Heero took advantage of the looseness of Duo's v-neck scrub top, pulling it to the side to swirl his tongue around one of Duo's nipples.
Heero continued to lick and bite at Duo's chest as he pushed with his fingers. Duo threw his head back as he felt Heero eventually advance a finger past the tight ring of muscle. The sudden feeling of it made Duo stall his movements as he was briefly overwhelmed. Heero began gently pumping his finger, inching it deeper until Duo felt Heero’s palm press firmly against his balls, his knuckle at his rim. Duo felt every cell in his body scream for more. He became vaguely aware of a keening sound, realizing that it was his own as Heero clapped his other hand over his mouth. He heard the echo of it bounce and disappear across the hangar.
"Duo!" Heero grunted. Duo could hear a smile in Heero's voice. Duo's eyes flew open and saw Heero hovering above him, his lips twisted into a breathless, proud grin. He was so fucking beautiful.
"Duo, what's the plan? Someone's gonna hear you!" Heero hissed. Duo refocused, then looked up and past him as Heero removed his hand from his mouth. He found his answer looming above Heero, and a mischievous smile spread across Duo's face.
"Wing,” Duo said between ragged breaths. He studied Heero's face as he processed the request. “I want you to fuck me in Wing.” The fog of lust lifted slightly from Heero's eyes as he regarded Duo in earnest, his eyes glittering in the pathway lights. "You good with that?"
"Yeah," Heero breathed, licking his lips. He carefully removed his other hand, and Duo felt a pang of sadness at the sudden empty feeling.
"You still got your med kit in there?" Duo stood up shakily and offered Heero a hand.
"Yeah," Heero said, taking it and swaying to his feet.
–
Wing's battered hatch opened, revealing the darkness of the cockpit. The design of it wasn't much different from Deathscythe's, albeit slightly roomier. Heero naturally sat in the tattered pilot chair while Duo half-crouched under the large screens to Heero's right. Heero powered on the interior and shut the hatch behind them.
There was a vague but not unpleasant scent of burnt metal and leather that became more prominent once the hatch was shut. Duo felt anxiety start to creep in as he remembered Libra. How close he had come to losing all of this. Duo pushed the thoughts away, admiring Heero as he finished sealing the cockpit and locking the appropriate controls. The muscles of his chest and arms were exaggerated by the light of the screens.
"Med kit's in the compartment by your left foot," Heero said. Duo grabbed it and placed it in the small space beside him, popping open the latches. He dug through the various first aid supplies until he found the packets of lube normally used for antipyretic suppositories. He stashed the med kit back in its compartment and looked up to see Heero watching him expectantly.
Duo grinned and quickly shucked off his shirt. His pants soon followed. Heero wriggled out of the last of his clothing and reached for Duo's hand, helping to guide him up and over the series of cockpit controls. Heero leaned forward to kiss him as Duo crawled over the center console. The chill Duo had felt after removing his clothes gave way to heat as his lips met Heero’s in the space between them.
God, this was…
Duo felt his foot catch on one of the joysticks and fell forward, crashing into Heero's lap and clicking their teeth together. "Shit!" Duo exclaimed as he righted himself onto his knees to straddle Heero, absolutely mortified. A surprised laugh bubbled up from Heero's lips–a sweet, rare sound that immediately soothed the hot embarrassment that Duo felt.
A genuine smile graced Heero's handsome face, his eyes glittering with a mirth and warmth that Duo had never seen before. "Are you ok?" Heero asked, and Duo heard an honest-to-god giggle in Heero’s voice. Duo’s heart soared at seeing the usually taciturn mask fall away, realizing that Heero was letting his guard down with him. He felt drunk on the sight of Heero's smile, the light blush on his cheeks, the sound of his laughter. Happiness looked good on him.
"I'm gonna kiss that laugh out of your fuckin' mouth, Yuy!" Duo said, pulling himself up on his knees and flinging his arms around Heero's neck with a wicked smile and laugh of his own. He kissed Heero fiercely, thrilling at the feeling of Heero's bare chest against his, the contractions of his muscles as he breathed hard. Heero wrapped his arms around Duo's torso and squeezed him tightly, drawing out a wheezy moan from Duo's lips as he melted into Heero's strength.
Duo lowered himself slowly back onto his haunches, still lapping hungrily at Heero's mouth. He never broke the kiss as he loosened his arms from Heero's neck and reached for the packets he had placed on the chair's armrest. He lined them up by feel in his hand and ripped them all open at once, their contents oozing out under the release of pressure and coating his palm. Duo reached between his legs with his other hand and gripped Heero's cock underneath his, slicking them both from tip to base. Heero let out a sharp exhale through his nose at the contact and his hips rose to meet Duo's touch.
Duo pulled back from Heero's mouth and eyed him greedily as he pumped Heero's dick and slowly lifted himself up. When Duo lowered himself down, Heero's length was positioned firmly against the line of his ass, and Duo arched into it. He began to push back languidly to slide Heero's cock up and down the crevice of his ass, thrilling at how hard and slick Heero was. Duo locked eyes with Heero as he teased him.
Heero's hair was a mess, his mouth reddened and slack-jawed, panting. His eyes seemed to burn in their sockets as they regarded Duo, his pupils swallowing all traces of blue. In one smooth motion, Heero reached to grip the thick braid at Duo's nape, eliciting a hiss from Duo as the movements dazed him. He felt Heero tighten his grip on his hair and yank backwards, felt the heat of Heero's breath as he whispered against Duo's exposed neck.
"I want you."
The words sent a shiver of desire through Duo's body. His hands shook as he squeezed the remainder of the packets onto his palm and tossed them to the side. Duo straightened to apply the last of the lube to his rim and the tip of Heero's cock, then to his own.
"You have me," Duo said, feeling his heart hammering in his chest. Heero released him to grip the swell of Duo's ass, kneading his hands into it. Heero's fingertips pressed up and into him, massaging around his entrance. Duo pushed his hips back, stroking himself and feeling Heero start to guide himself against him.
Slowly, Duo lowered. He inhaled sharply as the thick head of Heero's cock pushed through the muscle. Brief discomfort gave way to unbelievable pleasure as he felt the prominent ridge of Heero's head catch before being stretched by the rest of him.
"Holy shit!" Duo shouted, throwing his head back. His hands left his own overstimulated dick and scrambled for purchase, settling on the armrests on either side. Heero's breaths came in ragged loud gasps as he slowly rocked into him. He gripped Duo's hips, steadying him as he pressed deeper. Duo moaned loudly as Heero filled him, desperate to have all of him. Desperate to feel everything that had been denied him during this whole fucking war.
Duo pushed forward and kissed Heero sloppily as he sunk down fully onto him. Heero let out a low groan into Duo's mouth and dug his nails into Duo's hips. To his credit, Heero was patient and kissed him earnestly while Duo adjusted.
Duo moved first, clenching his thigh muscles as he worked himself slowly along Heero's length. He tilted his pelvis experimentally, using his arms for leverage, gasping at the different angles. Gradually, he began to roll his hips and set a rhythm.
"Ha–" Heero grunted and dug his nails more firmly into Duo's hips, thrusting upward in an involuntary move that seemed to catch both of them off guard. The searing pain of Heero's grip mixed with an intense sensation as the head of his cock rubbed into Duo's prostate. His body shuddered, craving more. Heero seemed more than happy to oblige, rocking up into him to match his pace.
Heero's movements applied pressure to Duo's prostate randomly, and Duo became dizzy with the anticipation of it. He felt intoxicated by the pressure and tightness building in his abdomen, stretched and filled by Heero. But it wasn't enough. A heated greed overtook Duo, and he wanted more. He wanted Heero harder and deeper. He wanted to ache for days after. Duo pushed his ass down desperately as he rutted against Heero, but quickly realized he needed to change positions.
Heero's eyes met his as Duo shifted on the cramped space of the chair, and the fire and lust that Duo saw in them sent a chill down his spine. Duo leaned carefully back into the grip Heero still had on his hips and brought his legs out from under him, bracing his feet on either side of Heero's pilot chair. Heero shifted his position in the seat to accommodate, peering up at Duo with a sly grin. Duo anchored his hold on the armrests.
"Fuck me like you mean it, 'Ro," he purred, and Heero surged obediently forward. His vice-like grip on Duo's hips became impossibly tighter as he jerked up and into him. Heero was deeper than before, and Duo delighted in the feeling of it, his mouth falling open. But it still wasn't enough.
"Harder," Duo whispered. Heero paused briefly to look at him, questioning. This was a man who bent steel bars with his bare hands, whose body was genetically modified to heal from extensive burns within a matter of hours. Of course Heero had some reservations, even in the heat of the moment. "Are you sure?" Heero asked softly. But Duo was adamant.
"Yes," Duo breathed, his body begging for release. Heero kissed him forcefully, then started again. Duo's repeated cries of encouragement had Heero setting a brutal pace, his quiet moans mixing with Duo's. Duo became vaguely aware of Heero's strong grip adjusting to his lower back, Heero's hips rising off the seat underneath him as he repositioned his feet for leverage.
Duo keened as Heero pulled all the way out of him before slamming back to the hilt. He felt all of his nerve endings catch fire as Heero repeated the motion, burying himself in Duo, brushing past his prostate. Heero used his strength to pound roughly into him, and Duo cried out as he felt Heero's balls slapping against his ass. Duo started desperately pumping his own throbbing cock, feeling the tightness and pressure mounting in his abdomen, his skin prickling at the overwhelming gathering of sensations. His vision blurred as everything around him seemed to dissolve.
"'Ro, I'm gonna–" Duo managed to grind out before he came hard, slicking both of their chests. Aftershocks of pleasure coursed through him, and he felt Heero's pace stutter as he worked to bury himself into the tight convulsions of Duo's ass. Heero's breathing became erratic as he resumed his earlier pace until he tensed, shouting Duo's name as he came. Duo felt Heero pulse into him, the heat of him making him lightheaded. They collapsed on each other in a sweaty heap, their heavy breathing ringing in Duo's ears.
–
The first thing Duo felt was Heero's fingers twisting and stroking his hair. The same fingers that had cut into and bruised his hips now lovingly tucked pieces of his hair back into place, smoothing his sweaty bangs up and off of his forehead. Muscular arms and legs that had lifted him in a punishing pace now cradled him. Duo opened his eyes and was face to face with Heero. Heero suddenly looked sheepish, his lips turning up in a small, shy smile.
"Hey, 'Ro," Duo said, reaching out to cup his cheek.
"Hey, Dy'o," he said, leaning into Duo's hand in an uncharacteristic display of affection, and Duo thought he might burst with adoration. He sat up and kissed Heero's swollen lips gently. The realization of what they had done pushed to the forefront of Duo's mind. He blushed as he became aware of the stickiness on his chest, the mixture of cum and lube dribbling out of his ass.
"God," Duo laughed as he pulled away from the kiss, feeling self-conscious, "I'm a mess." But Heero pulled him in closer.
"I don't mind," Heero said softly. He paused to swallow and lick his lips. "It reminds me that we're alive."
We're alive.
Duo smiled and nestled his cheek into Heero's shoulder, settling into their sticky tangle of limbs. Heero rested his head against his. If someone had told Duo that this is what peace would look like, he would've fought all the harder for it. He wouldn't have run from it, wandering all those restless nights afraid of the quiet between battles.
He remembered Quatre's words–or the words that he thought Quatre said–while he was at Heero's bedside and wondered if they were true. Whether it was a dream or truly an intervention of Quatre's abilities, Duo wasn't sure, but the words stuck with him all the same.
You're the reason he decided to live.
Now in the cockpit of Heero's gundam, Duo realized the smell of burnt materials had mingled with the smell of sex. He was enfolded in Heero's arms, the both of them curled in the seat where Heero could have just as easily given up and sacrificed himself in a blaze of glory. After countless suicide attempts and throwing himself into ridiculous missions without regard for his well-being, Heero had passed up the perfect opportunity to end it all. Instead he had fired the shot.
Duo had to know why.
"Heero," he said into the quiet of Wing's cockpit. He felt Heero shift beneath him as he acknowledged the address.
"Hm?"
"Why did you do it? Why did you decide to survive?" Duo asked, beginning to trace the line of Heero's collarbones with his fingers. Heero seemed to tense up at the question and didn't answer right away. Duo decided to wait patiently in companionable silence, willing the tension away by tracing the lines of his muscles.
"It was because I wanted more," Heero finally said, sounding thoughtful.
"More, huh?"
"My whole life, the cockpit of a mobile suit has been my safe place. I figured I'd live and die here, and I was ok with that," Heero said quietly. "My life outside of a mobile suit was expendable. It was cheap. I didn't give a second thought to anything beyond my training because I didn't think there was anything beyond my training."
Heero had never spoken this much to him at once before. He had never communicated his thoughts or any aspect of his life outside of the mission. Lying against Heero's neck, Duo found himself in awe of the timbre of Heero's voice. The lilt of it, the barely detectable Japanese accent–it was beautiful.
"So what changed your thinking, 'Ro?" Duo asked, wanting to hear more of it.
"You," Heero answered simply. Duo felt his stomach lurch in surprise. Sure, he had asked on account of the weird encounter with Quatre, but he never truly expected…
"Me?"
"The morning of the attack on Peacemillion," Heero paused, then smiled shyly, "when you kissed me." Duo felt a heat spread in his chest, suffusing his cheeks with a bright blush. A grin spread across his face.
Who'd have thought Shinigami would impart a Kiss of Life?
"Guess I'm a hell of a kisser, huh?" Duo teased, and quickly tilted his head to demonstrate. Heero reciprocated with a gentleness that made Duo breathless.
"Thank you, Dy'o," Heero said as he parted from the kiss just far enough to speak. "Thank you for saving my life."
For the second time in 72 hours, Duo was speechless. There was still so much he had to say, but a pleasant glow had settled into his bones. It lived there now, imbuing him with steadfast affection and warmth.
Peace. Love.
It whispered,
We're alive. We have time.