Work Text:
1. Sunny's mad at you. Really mad at you. She won't talk to you because she had to scrap a week's worth of artist negotiations, but that's fine. It's fine because he's coming in today. At 11. He'll be here at 11. Your heart is beating double time as you tie your shoelaces and force yourself to calmly walk to your car. Don't speed. Just cruise. You force yourself to breathe normally when he stumbles into the elevator. Your palms sweat as you see his dim reflection in the elevator door. Your peripheral view of him is limited as he wedges himself into the corner of the small metal box. You hide in the bathroom for a few minutes before going to the conference room. He looks the same and completely different. You touch his hand for the first time in seven years and have to stretch your hand under the table. He's here and you're rude and abrasive to him. You're not religious but you pray the rest of the day to whoever might be listening that he accepts the job offer.
2. He does accept the job, but he's jittery. Like a baby deer. Like Bambi. Like he's unsure of the space he's occupying. You startle him and he nearly drops the tiny cactus Sunny dropped on your desk without a word. He edges away from you quickly, tucking his shoulders in as if it'll make him even smaller. You drop down behind your own desk and will your breathing to slow down because this is the longest he's been around in seven years and you don't want to fuck this up. When Tae Ho offers his ugly brown vest in jest, the green monster in you rears its head and you drop your favorite white hoodie on his desk. He wears it, nearly drowns in the amount of fabric, but you smile to yourself, because he's wrapped up in a part of you, covered in the scent of you, and that's all you've really wanted for years now.
3. You're rude to him. You can't help it. You want to shake him and ask why he ran away and broke your heart even before you could realise what was happening. So instead, you're rude. You give him an impossible list of things to do, but he surprises you, tells you honestly that the dialogue options are boring and you chance it. You lay your hand over his and he pulls away. You knew he would. You try not to be upset, but it still stings. Seven years ago he was fine with you slinging an arm around his shoulders, or resting your head on any part of him that was closest, but time changes people and maybe he changed more than you want to think about.
4. He's enthusiastic in the meeting. You keep your eyes on the report in your hands and try not to comment on how Jamie jokes that Wan is an expert in unrequited love. He stutters for a moment. Maybe he is an expert. You seethe. Was there someone after you? Was there someone he didn't run away from? You snark that you're making a game and this isn't reality. You see his eyes shutter. It was uncalled for, but your mind flashes with images of him with someone else and your blood boils. You decide to plan instead of going to lunch because fuck being sociable right now. You ignore him until he knocks on your desk, asks to speak to you. You follow him to the roof and nothing good has ever happened between the two of you on a roof. You talk, you bicker, and you feel alive. Your heart is pounding and you tell him about Gameboy, how you've been with him and seen his art for years now. You walk away from him this time and you feel like maybe it's a turning point between the two of you. You think that maybe you'll ask him out tomorrow, properly, instead of playing cat and mouse.
5. It's a turning point. In the wrong direction. You try to help him with the coffee machine and he darts away like you're hot oil and he's about to be scalded. He tells you to stop snooping on other people's blogs, but it's hardly snooping if it's on the internet. You're about to follow him to tell him just that, when Tae Ho stops you. Tells you you're being a bully and you see that Wan's blocked you from viewing any posts on his blog. You're seething. Your blood is boiling at the challenge. You'll play if Wan wants to.
6. You flirt with him. Shamelessly. He hates it, but huffs a laugh. You feel like you've got a foot in the door. A toe in the door, maybe.
7. You find him at a small restaurant around the corner from the office. You haven't been following him around with the specific purpose of annoying him. Not at all. You tease him. Pick the grain of rice off his face and your fingers brush his lips. You desperately want to kiss him. You feel flustered, armpits prickling with sweat and you dart off with his bill. You speed walk home, barely closing the door behind you before you shove your hand down your pants. You come in record time.
8. Sunny's a beast at this game and you're on edge when Wan bets on her instead of you. You win, thanks to him, and that's all that matters. The fact that you asked Sunny to go easy on you is something no one needs to know. You decide to go work outside with him, to make sure he's working - you say. Sunny quirks an eyebrow at you and asks if you're going to bully him some more. You say no, with a grin, but the fact of the matter is that you just want to be around him. It's like every part of your being craves closeness.
9. You walk around your old high school and you're reminded of every single interaction you've had in these hallways and classrooms. He makes you stand in front of a shelf in the library while you pretend to read. In between sniping at one another, you can't help but think that Wan is beautiful with the light from the window caressing him. You want to touch him the way the sunlight does. You want to run your fingers through his hair the way the soft breeze does. He snaps his iPad shut and you scamper to keep up with him.
10. You remember this football pitch fondly some days. He would quietly sit here, some days, reading a comic while you practiced football or goofed around with your friends. Now he just tells you to go away. You don't want to go away. You sit next to him and ask him about his old film camera instead. The look he gives you is panicked, mumbles that he doesn't take photos and you press. You press and press and press. You want him to stop being distant, like you've never meant anything to him. You hold the old camera out of his reach and mockingly say no each time he asks you to give it to him, until he snaps, and you snap, shoulder checking him and he stumbles away, putting distance between you, like he always does. You feel yourself breaking because he's done this before. You've been on this field calling his name before and you press, again. You tell him that he misunderstood and ran away. You tell him that you tried to find him for a very long time. You tell him that you tried everything to find him and couldn't. You ask him how he managed without you - a slight dig, you know, but you've been miserable without him. You tell him that he has been bullying you, not the other way around. You feel tears building and your voice trembles. "I'll never let you go." Then, "I like you."
11. It's a stalemate of sorts. You tell yourself you won't be an asshole to him. You won't let him be an asshole to you either. You have a meeting, then another, and another, and Wan finally shows all of you the sketches he made and the character profile he'd completed. Jamie comments that it looks like you, but you don't want to think that it does because that would mean that Wan thinks about you when he draws and he draws you because- no. You won't let yourself think that. Not until Wan says something himself.
12. You drag him to your house under the guise of working overtime. You can't help but tease him about washing up, hoping that he thinks of you naked like you think of him. Between a shower and a beer and talking about nothing, you fall asleep on the couch. When you wake up, Wan is asleep and your own face looks up at you from his iPad. You breathe him in and he smells like your shampoo and body wash and your gut churns. You want to press your face into his neck but drape your blanket over him instead.
13. It's 40 hours of hell until the beta test link goes up and the only time you see him past your computer screen is when either one of you gets up to go to the bathroom or fetch more coffee. You find him in the kitchen, somewhere between sun-up and sun-down. He's half asleep, leaning against the counter and you rest your head against his shoulder. You can't remember if it's real or not and Wan doesn't say anything.
14. You go out to the company dinner. Celebrating with food and drink. Wan asks you to go to the park with him and you don't want to be hopeful, but your stomach is in flutters and you pretend to be drunk to hide your nerves. You tease him and flirt, desperately. This is it, you think. This is what you've been waiting for, for seven years.
15. You kiss him. He kisses you back. You say, "Neither of us dodged this time," and you kiss him again. "Shall we start over," you say as you slide your hand up his neck and press your fingers to his jaw. Just hold him, hold him, keep him there, stay there Wan-ah, please. You take the train with him, drop him off at the dorm and you want to kiss him again, so you do, right there, pressed against the front door of the dorm. You float home and you think now it's different.
16. The next day he can barely look you in the eye and you get angry. You accuse him of still not accepting that you like him, but he interrupts you. Asks you to do more as he slips out of the conference room and you grin, feeling like this might just be a different cat and mouse game.
17. You're on a date. In the park. It's very Lee Wan. He asks you if you've ever dated anyone and you decide to be honest. You tell him about Joohyun, the guy you dated in freshman year of college. You skip the part where you only went out with him because you were trying to get over Wan. He suggests you date him instead and your heart soars. You feel giddy and you tease him. You hold hands for the rest of the day and well into the night. He stays over and you watch a movie and hold hands and you feel like this is what you should have had seven years ago, but you have it now. You have it now and you'll never let it go.
18. Tae Ho accosts you, drags you away from interrupting an apparent blind date your boyfriend is going on. You're seething, even two hours later as you send Jamie for coffee and glare at Tae Ho until he leaves you and Wan alone. Absurdity of a fan meeting aside, that night you twine your fingers through his as you walk to your car in the dark. You hold his hand on the way to your apartment, all the way inside. You press him against the wall and kiss him breathless. You tell him how no one is allowed to look at him because he's beautiful and only meant for your eyes. You kiss and kiss and kiss until you both collapse on your couch and you pull him onto you, over you, wanting to be covered in him. You pull him out of his pants, spit in your hand, and show him how no one can satisfy him the way you can. You lick his spend off your fingers when he's come and gone and he turns bright red.
19. Wan is acting strangely. He went out with someone you don't know, didn't answer his phone and came back to your place drunk. You fight the next morning and Wan doesn't say anything. You feel like your heart is going to shatter because this feels worse than the last time he ran away, because now you know what you'll be missing. Your anxiety is beyond 11 and in your panic, you run to the dorm where he's staying, calling his name. You feel breathless because this is so much worse than seven years ago when you were calling his name on the football field. Your hands are shaking and you know that if he's taken off, you really never will find him again, because he's still got you blocked on his blog. You run, hyperventilating, crying, yelling out for him until you spot him, rounding the corner and tapping on his phone. You breathe his name and collapse onto him like your strings have been cut. You swing between relief and panic. He holds you as your breathing stutters and takes you into the dorm. He pulls the curtain around his bed and sinks into bed next to you. You clutch his shirt between your sweat-slick fingers and you talk about your anxiety, that you're scared he's going to disappear again. He won't let you fall asleep, peppers your face with kisses and apologies and while it's not okay, at least he realises that he's fucked up.
20. Your relationship isn't perfect. It's far from it. You don't tell anyone in the office, but you think they know anyway. You think about your birthday present, the post on Wan's blog and the dirty things he said he wants to do to you. You have cake with your colleagues and spend the rest of the day feeling light and genuinely happy.
21. Wan takes you back to your old high school. The last two times you've been here with him have not ended well, so when he pulls you onto the roof and says he likes you, your first thought is, "I know the ending to this on this exact rooftop." He asks for your answer and you kiss him instead. You kiss him and kiss him and kiss him. You dip your tongue between his lips and taste him. You back him into the railing and kiss him again. You kiss him until you're breathless. Until he's breathless. Then you take him home.
22. You take him home and you make love to him like you would have seven years ago. Then you fuck him again and he fucks you. It's all very messy and sweaty and you wouldn't have it any other way.