Fear Tongue

by its_elvish_for_two

Summary:

"But what is today's lesson, sire? What's the danger that would kill us without it? We've all survived this long, haven't we?"

"That's because none of you have yet come across the Dashini."

Notes:

Set pre-canon, based on bits and bobs mentioned throughout all the books.

I looked at when I last posted anything and I was ashamed, so have this even if it's not quite polished as I'd like. It originally came about as part of a Whumptober prompt, but that's a bit passed-it now.

I haven't got this whole thing completely written up yet, but I wanted to write this idea, and I thought if I posted the first chapter, it would hold me accountable to actually try and finish it.

Let's see how that works out...

Chapter 1: Tomorrow's Fight

When the king called twelve of his Greatcoats into the Training Hall on that stormy, horrible morning, Talia expected it to be another of his training sessions. She expected Paelis' smug smile as he gave his fancy speech and mocked them when they couldn't answer his questions correctly, not even Falcio. She wouldn't even have been surprised to find a stranger waiting in the hall beside the king, ready to teach them more songs, or fighting techniques, or obscure regional laws.

 

She was not expecting Paelis to be standing alone in the middle of the empty hall, with a solemn, almost sorrowful expression on his face.

 

"Come in, sit," he gestured, as the twelve of them gathered in the doorway. Falcio led the way in, and they sat at the king's feet like school children, not even cushions to provide comfort from the cold, hard stone. Talia shared a confused look with Harden, but he could only offer a shrug.

 

"I'm afraid today's lesson won't be quite so amusing as usual," said Paelis.

 

Brasti, because he never knew how to read the room, scoffed. "You think any of your lessons are actually fun, Your Majesty? You only start them, you don't actually have to sit through them."

 

Kest nudged Brasti and raised an eyebrow, but Paelis looked less annoyed than Talia would have expected.

 

"For once, Brasti, you do have a point. I don't have to sit through your lessons, and I won't be participating in this one, either. However, I will be staying to observe the whole thing. I owe you that much."

 

Talia didn't like the sound of that, and said so. "What's that supposed to mean, Majesty?"

 

Paelis sighed, and the regretful look was back. It was almost like he was putting them through this lesson against his will. "Today's is a necessary lesson, and while it can't guarantee your safety, not putting you through it would surely guarantee your death. As such, you can imagine it's not going to be a pleasant few hours."

 

At this, everyone stayed silent, even Brasti. When the king didn't continue, finally Falcio spoke up.

 

"But what is today's lesson, sire? What's the danger that would kill us without it? We've all survived this long, haven't we?"

 

"That's because none of you have yet come across the Dashini."

 

There was a ripple through the little group, despite no one speaking a word. Dashini. The king expected them to be able to fight Dashini?

 

While the theory was sound, the reality was ridiculous. Dashini were trained assassins. Hardly anyone knew anything about them because anyone who actually came across them was killed for the trouble. Only vague stories, with no legitimacy, existed to even account for the existence of the group, and the legends were spoken in whispers.

 

They can control your thoughts. They hypnotise their victims into taking their own lives. They move like water, floating above the ground with no corporeal form. They have venom that paralyses their prey and no one knows how it's administered.

 

Those were only the repeated stories, every tavern had its own versions and the mystery made the Dashini even more dangerous. No one knew what was true, and how could anyone fight a myth?

 

"I have contacts," said Paelis, pulling Talia's attention back to the room and away from the horror stories once whispered in her ear. "I have managed to collect much information on the Dashini, historical and recent, and I feel it is important you should all know as much as possible about these people."

 

"Are they even people?" asked Old Tobb. He was usually quiet in their lessons, but there was an uneasiness in him now that couldn't seem to stay silent. "Spectres, wouldn't that be more accurate? A man was killed in my home city a few years ago. Of course no one could be sure, but the Keeper suspected Dashini. The man was the best fighter I knew, and yet there wasn't a drop of blood on his swords."

 

"I know about that murder, Tobb," said the king, softly. "I know about Kennick. And you're right, it was Dashini. But they are people, not spectres. This is why this lesson is important, this is why you need to be told. Fear of the unknown is worse than the fear of the thing itself. The more you know about an opponent, the better chance you have of beating them. Some fights you cannot win today, so you have to win them the day before. That's what you're going to do. You're going to win tomorrow's fights today."

 

This sounded like something Falcio or Kest would say. Talia preferred to win all of her fights as quickly as possible, it was true, but she didn't see how they could win against creatures - people - no one had ever seen.

 

Paelis continued, smoothing a hand over his robes uncomfortably. "The research I've collected will be useful to you, but today's lesson will be more of a practical demonstration. I have people waiting outside to assist, but I thought it best to introduce the premise myself first, and answer any objections. But first - Falcio?"

 

Falcio looked confused, but stood up at the king's request.

 

"Falcio, please collect everyone's weapons - all of them, mind, not just your principle ones - and lock them in the ante chamber over there."

 

"What?"

 

This brought on the first of the afore mentioned objections.

 

"But Your Majesty, I thought you just said this was going to be a practical demonstration on how to fight Dashini?" said Falcio, speaking for the rest of them. "You expect us to do so unarmed?"

 

"Of course not," the king said calmly, clearly having expected the protest. "But this is a lesson on how to survive the Dashini. For the first lesson, your weapons will be less than useless, and I don't want anyone getting hurt by mistake. In future lessons, we will introduce weapons back in. Now, if you please, Falcio."

 

Falcio took a deep breath but nodded, drawing both his rapiers and pulling out his bracer of knives. He tucked them under one arm and then turned to Kest. Smart choice. If anyone was going to obey Falcio, it was Kest. And if anyone was going to decide not to give up their weapon, the person best placed to make them change their mind by force also happened to be Kest.

 

Kest stood and drew his warsword, handing it to Falcio without a word and then turning to Brasti.

 

"This is ridiculous," grumbled Brasti, unhooking his quiver and pushing it into Kest's waiting hand. "If I was fighting a Dashini, he wouldn't get close enough to stab me because I'd have hit him with an arrow a hundred yards away."

 

"And then his partner would creep up on you from behind and slit your throat," said Paelis, as Kest and Falcio continued collecting weapons. "The first rule of the Dashini is that they always fight in pairs. This puts you at an immediate disadvantage from the start."

 

Once Alister's staff, Quillata's slingshot, Murielle's knives, Talia's spear, and everyone else's weapons had been collected and locked away, Paelis took the key from Falcio and slipped it into his pocket.

 

"You're all well practiced in fighting multiple opponents, however, so that lesson can wait. The second rule of the Dashini is that they never, ever fight fair. That is what today's lesson is about."

 

Paelis sighed deeply. "As you know, I have in my employ some quite exceptional apothecaries." Here there was the briefest glance at Falcio, as there had been the day the Greatcoats had been supplied their soft candy. "We have been able to acquire a very rare and very dangerous substance. It is a powder the Dashini use to sway fights in their favour. Its effects are intense and debilitating, and would mean certain death, were they to expose you to it without this lesson. However, it is possible to become... immune is perhaps a strong word, maybe desensitised would be more accurate."

 

"The effects are lessened with repeated exposure," said Kest.

 

"Exactly."

 

"So you want to expose us to it for the first time so that we will be immune if we come across it a second?" asked Quillata.

 

"I intend to expose you to it more than once before you come across it in the field, but yes, that is the general idea."

 

"The people waiting outside, they're physicians, aren't they?" said Tobb, not accusingly, but with the same dread in his voice as before. "You want to poison us so that we build up a resistance to the stuff."

 

"I do. At least, I don't wish to poison you, but I prefer it to killing you."

 

"What does this poison do?" piped up Talia. "What effects are we to expect?"

 

The pained look returned once more to Paelis' face. "It is less a poison and more a toxin. Fear-tongue works in an almost opposite capacity to the hard candy, with psychological effects as well as physical ones. It is part hallucinogen, part paralytic."

 

None of those things sounded good, but something else in Paelis' words had caught Talia's attention more.

 

"Fear-tongue?" she repeated.

 

"That is the common name for the extract. I won't show you the stuff until we are ready to proceed as it is a very potent substance that I would hate to expose you to until you are ready, but it is a fine purple powder made from extracts of a rare plant and several added ingredients to increase its potency, only most of which we have been able to identify. There is also magic involved."

 

"How did you get hold of any if you don't know what it's made of, Majesty?" asked Kest.

 

"Traces of the dust were found on the body of a victim in Rijou. Jillard informed me and I had the best herbalists analyse it. It comes in a fine powder, and we believe the Dashini spit the poison from beneath their tongues, like snakes. This is the most absorbent part of the body, so the Dashini experience high exposure, yet they are not affected by the substance. They train to become immune, and you will do the same."

 

"But fear-tongue," repeated Talia. "Why is it called that?"

 

"Because it induces a debilitating and paralysing terror," the king said simply.

 

The Greatcoats all looked around at each other uneasily. Talia could already feel her pulse rising at even the idea of such a substance, and beside her, she could feel Harden's leg bouncing obsessively.

 

"Please believe me when I say that I'm sorry to put you through this," said Paelis, dropping his regal manner and displaying his full sincerity to them. His eyes glistened as he looked around at each and every one of them. He knew all of their stories, knew why every one of them was there, and he knew how some of them in particular were going to suffer. "If I knew any other way to keep you safe, believe me when I say I would offer it, but exposure is the only way to become resistant to the full effects. I arranged for the twelve of you to remain at the castle because I thought you would handle it the best at this stage. Please take this as a compliment and not a punishment.

 

"This is one of the few lessons which, as much as I feel I should, I will not make mandatory. However, I do think it's important that there is complete honesty between you all, for your own safety. If anyone does not wish to participate in this lesson, they may leave now, but they must make it known to their fellow Greatcoats so that no one is left exposed in the event of facing Dashini. Make your decision now."

 

As much as the twelve Greatcoats fidgeted and tensed, they all knew that no one was going to stand. Whatever it took, they would all withstand the fear-tongue. None of them wanted to be a weak link if it came to a real fight.

 

"Very well. I had feared you were all too stupid to take the chance and leave," sighed Paelis. "If you won't ride fast, then you'll have to fight hard, and I fear it will be a very hard fight indeed.

 

"Divide yourselves into pairs. Half of you will be exposed to the dust today, the other half will endeavour to make the experience as bearable as possible. Tomorrow, we will swap. It's up to you who wishes to go first and who wishes to go tomorrow. While you decide, I will bring in the apothacaries."

 

Paelis turned and walked to the far end of the hall, the click of his shoes the only sound for several moments.

 

"This is madness," muttered Quillata. "No one had ever survived having the stuff used on them. How do they know it isn't actually a poison and that's what kills people?"

 

"Yes, because the king would take that risk on his new Greatcoats," said Dara, sarcastically.

 

"I don't like it either, but I prefer to lose my mind in this hall and not when facing one of the deadliest assassins ever known," said Cunien.

 

"But we don't know them," argued Brasti. "That's the problem. All we have is some dust on the face of a dead guy. For all we know, he could just have been caught on the middle of indulging in some recreational habits.. Seems a bit early to be testing new torture drugs on ourselves."

 

"You're unusually quiet," Talia said, nudging Falcio. He started from his reverie, eyes floating up from the spot on the floor that had been fascinating him. "What do you think about all this, First Cantor?"

 

"I think it's a terrible idea, but I think that not doing it is a worse one," he said in a strangely flat voice. "I think it's going to be hell, but if it saves our lives, and the lives of others in our care, it's worth an hour of hell. And I think everyone else here knows that, simply from the fact that you are all still here."

 

This seemed to sooth the prickliness in the group, and several of them nodded. The only spot of tension still remaining came from Talia's right, though she was the only one who seemed to notice.

 

"Harden?" she whispered, as the conversation around them grew slightly in anticipation. Harden's dark eyes flickered towards her for a second before darting away.

 

"I'm fine," he hissed, before she could even ask. His crossed legs were still bouncing, and he pressed down on his knees to keep them still, his clenched fists shaking.

 

"You don't have to do this," Talia reminded him. She wasn't sure exactly what made him so nervous, but she knew him well enough to recognise it was unusual for him. "No one would think any less of you if you walked away. There's still time."

 

"I know. That's not why I can't leave." Harden took a deep, steadying breath. "I know what this is going to feel like. I know what it's like to freeze up completely in fear, to be so absolutely terrified that you have no control over your body. The others, they know it will be bad, but they haven't experienced it yet. I have, and I know this time isn't going to be better. You can't become immune to that feeling, at least not the real thing."

 

"No, you can't," agreed Talia. "Knowing you're in danger, that you need to fight, and being completely stuck inside your own head is one of the worst feelings in the world. Trust me, I know how that feels."

 

"I know you do," said Harden, tremulously. "That's why I know you understand why I can't walk away. It's not about what the others will think of me, it's that I'd be letting them down. What if it's me one of you gets stuck with when facing a Dashini? What if, somehow, the king is right and previous exposure can help resist the effects of the toxin? What if I couldn't stick the lesson, and the Dashini win because I was completely useless from fear? I can't let people die because I froze. I've come too close to that before. It's the whole reason I became a Greatcoat, to try and avoid that."

 

"Don't worry. I'll keep us safe. I'll be your partner," said Talia firmly. "I'll help you through this."

 

"I don't think I can wait until tomorrow," Harden admitted. "If I have chance to sleep on it, I don't think I'll be able to come back into this hall. I just want it over with."

 

"Then you go first," said Talia. "I'll keep us safe, I promise."

 

Harden's hand twitched, and Talia finished the action he was too hesitant to initiate. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it firmly.

 

Around them, people were pairing up too. To no one's surprise, Falcio and Kest were together, but they seemed to be having a whispered argument. Talia caught half of conversation.

 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" asked Kest's deep voice.

 

"Of course I don't want to, it's going to be shit. None of us want to, Kest, but we're going to, so let's not try and pretend otherwise."

 

"At least let me go first."

 

"Absolutely not. I'm the First Cantor."

 

"Exactly, they can't afford to lose you. Let me go first."

 

" They? What about you?" Falcio said it lightly, a teasing tone, but Talia glanced over and saw the flash of pain cross Kest's face.

 

"Don't," he said simply, the warning evident even in his quiet voice. "Don't do that."

 

Falcio sobered as Kest turned away. "I'm sorry, Kest. I didn't mean that. Look, this fear-tongue, it's not going to kill me."

 

"But there is more than one way to lose someone. I lost you a year ago, and if it weren't for the Greatcoats, I don't think I ever would have found you again. You think it's anger that fuels it, but its not, it's fear." Kest took a deep breath. "I can't lose you to that again."

 

Falcio's face had softened, and whatever Kest was refering to seemed to bring him back. Falcio reached out and squeezed Kest's arm.

 

"I know. But you know why I have to do this. Whatever happens is going to happen to me whether I go first or second. But for myself - yes, completely selfishly - I need to go first. I owe you all that much."

 

The click of shoes announced Paelis' return, and all the Greatcoats looked up as he approached with six herbalists and the castle physician.

 

"Those of you going first, please stand," said the King. Harden stood up determinedly, along with Alister, Murielle, Quillata and Bellow. Kest moved to stand, but Falcio put a hand on his shoulder and stood instead.

 

"Very well. You should know that we believe the dosage is the same for all the Dashini's victims, no matter their size. Therefore, those of you who are larger-" he glanced at Alister and Bellow "-may feel the effects a little less intensely. But none of you will have a pleasant time of it.

 

"You will likely be standing when you meet the Dashini, therefore you will be standing for the first dose. You'll be spread out in this hall, but you'll all be together to allow the herbalists to help those who might need it. I will remain here because I believe I owe you that courtesy. I'm not here to judge you, and know that whatever happens today is to keep you alive. This wing of the castle is empty except for those you see here. Nothing from these sessions will leave this hall."

 

Everyone nodded silently, a heavy anticipation hanging over the room. The six Greatcoats positioned themselves around the hall, and Talia noticed that each of them had subconsciously stepped into a different duelling circle. Though they entered alone, all of them would be fighting one of the worst battles of their lives.

 

Each herbalist stood outside of the circles. The remaining Greatcoats each stood by their partners, behind the apothecaries and out of range of the dust.

 

"Any last questions?" asked the king.

 

There was silence, not even Brasti cracking a joke. Talia glanced him standing by Quillata, ready to help her, looking equal parts determined and terrified.

 

"Then on my mark," said Paelis, from the middle of the ring of Greatcoats. The apothecaries raised small tools, like miniature bellows, up to eye level.

 

"Ready? Begin."

 

Notes:

Well, I hoped you liked this first chapter, I promise to try and update it, I do have more in drafts but I won't make promises I can't keep.

Comments always make my day, let me know what you thought :)

(For anyone interested/confused, here's the pairings:

•Talia and Harden

•Falcio and Kest

•Cunien and Alister

•Dara and Murielle

Quillata and Brasti

•Old Tobb and Bellow)

Chapter 2: The First Trial

Summary:

"I'm sorry," said Paelis, horrified by what his lesson had cost.

Notes:

As I was writing this, I realised six people standing in a room paralysed and unable to talk doesn't exactly make for the most exciting chapter, so that bit is quite short, but I hope you like it anyway. It will get more interesting on the other trials, I promise.

Enjoy!

The six herbalists squeezed the bellows on the king's mark, and it was like a whisper radiating around the room. A little cloud of purple mist puffed into Harden's face and he met Talia's eye as he took a deep breath as though smelling a beautiful flower, his lashes fluttering on his cheeks.

 

For a moment, he froze entirely, his eyes half lidded, his chin up proudly. Then there was the slightest exhale, the slightest shuddering breath, and his eyes snapped open, distant and unseeing. His face contorted slowly into painful horror, his mouth moving soundlessly as he tried to speak. His hand reached out weakly, but stopped half way, racked with tremors, and Harden began to sway.

 

There was a gasp from behind Talia, and a curse and a desperate "No" from Kest. But Talia couldn't look around. She ran forwards to catch Harden, not caring whether all the fear-tongue had dispersed yet. She grabbed his arm to steady him, and his hand closed around hers in an iron grip. She flinched but didn't pull away.

 

"Harden?" she called, trying to catch his attention, but his eyes were locked somewhere in the middle distance over her shoulder. "Harden, can you hear me?"

 

Harden mouthed wordlessly, oblivious to Talia's cajoling. He was frozen in place, tears streaming down his cheeks, whole body vibrating with tremors. It lasted several terrifying minutes, during which he barely seemed to breathe, and then all of a sudden, his legs seemed to give way. Talia caught him before he fell, and he tried to get his feet beneath him again, but they seemed leaden and slow.

 

"Harden, can you hear me? It's me, it's Talia. Look at me, can you look at me?"

 

Around her, all Talia could hear was the other Greatcoats shouting names, trying as desperately as she was to get through to their partners.

 

"Murielle? Murielle, please, answer me!"

 

"Quil? Quillata, talk to me, for the love of Saints."

 

"Bellow, stay with me. I'm here."

 

"Easy, Allister, easy. It's alright."

 

"Damn it, Falcio. Why did you do this?"

 

The sounds of so many of her friends in trouble pressed in on Talia like she was drowning, but she forced all of her attention on one person.

 

"It's alright, Harden, I've got you. Stay with me."

 

~

 

It was almost an hour before any of the affected Greatcoats began to come around. The room had grown quiet, the desperate cries and calls dulling to whispers and hushes long ago. That was why everyone heard the strained, rasping voice.

 

"Tobb?"

 

Everyone turned as Bellow stirred, bundled up against Tobb's chest.

 

"Hey, big guy," Tobb said in a shaky voice with an even shakier smile. "You back with us?"

 

"Mostly," he croaked, and Tobb helped him sip some water. Bellow managed to raise his head, but collapsed against Tobb's side again once he had drunk.

 

The rest of the Greatcoats began to come back to themselves within ten minutes of each other. The whispers changed from assurances to questions and shaky replies.

 

Some took longer than others to break out of the terrified stupor but they all seemed to have trouble speaking, rasping like they had been strangled. Talia listened for a response from each of them, desperate to know everyone had survived whatever this had been but refusing to take her eyes off Harden.

 

Bellow had come around, and Allister's was the next broken voice she heard. Quillata's was merely a murmur, the same as Talia was receiving from Harden, but it was an acknowledgement, at least. Falcio and Murielle seemed to be taking it the worst. All Talia could hear from Murielle was shuddering breaths to begin with, eventually morphing into shaking hums of reply. From Falcio, she could hear nothing, judging only from Kest's whispered words that he seemed to be getting some sort of silent affirmation from the First Cantor.

 

To whatever degree, the fear-tongue had broken every one of them.

 

"I'm sorry," said Paelis, horrified by what his lesson had cost. He was leaning against one of the pillars, even more ashen than usual, and staring around the hall in anguish. He pushed shaking hands through his hair and then into the pockets of his robes as he pulled himself upright. Talia had forgotten he was still there in the chaos and panic, and he looked as frightened as any of the poisoned Greatcoats. "Baths are being drawn in your rooms as we speak, and if you require, I have attendants on hand to help, but I think you probably-"

 

"We'll take care of them," said Brasti, speaking for the other five. "We don't need anyone else."

 

"I understand," nodded Paelis. "The dormitory wing will be kept clear. The bell at the end of the corridor will fetch a physician should you require it."

 

Talia tucked a blanket more firmly around Harden's shivering frame and put an arm around his waist. The apothecary moved to help on the other side.

 

"No!" Talia snapped, then added more gently, "Thank you. I can manage him. Please get the door."

 

The man did as requested without argument, and Talia hoisted Harden to his feet, half leading, half carrying him across the room. Around her, the other Greatcoats were doing similar. Dara was tenderly sweeping hair out of Murielle's face as the woman lay shivering on the stone floor, while Tobb heaved Bellow to his feet with difficulty. Brasti was cradling Quillata gently in his arms, while Kest crouched in front of Falcio, who was slouched on the floor behind a pillar out of sight.

 

Cunien was in front of Talia, Allister's tall frame stooped over him as they staggered slowly towards the door. Talia came up beside them and pulled Allister's other arm over her shoulder, helping to guide him as he dragged his feet like a drunk. Cunien said nothing, just nodded, as the four of them moved through the wide, deserted corridors to the dormitories.

 

Talia helped Cunien to Allister's room and then continued to Harden's a few doors down. She kicked open the door and guided Harden through to the adjoining room, placing him gently on the chair beside the bath tub.

 

"It's alright, brother, it's over now," she soothed, as she slowly began to strip him of his shirt, soaked with sweat and worse. "It's wearing off now, and you're back in your quarters. A hot bath and you'll feel better, I promise."

 

Harden made to speak again, but Talia calmed him. "You don't need to say anything, I've got you. Just relax, it's over."

 

Helping him into the bath, Talia made sure he was settled safely against the sides and then began to gather his soiled clothes. But she heard the rasping sounds again, and turned to find him reaching out to her with a weak hand.

 

"It's alright, I'm here," she said. "What do you need?"

 

"Thank you," he wheezed, his eyes boring into hers, desperate for her to understand. "Thank you."

 

Talia reached down and punched him lightly on the arm. "You're welcome, idiot."

 

Patiently, and with infinite care, Talia bathed Harden and cleaned him up, bundling him into a towel and tucking him into bed. By the time he was out of the bath, he had regained some of his strength and his awareness.

 

"Are you in pain?" asked Talia, touching his shoulder gently and feeling the muscle tremors zipping through him.

 

Harden shook his head. "Not pain, it's..." He thought for a moment, eyes narrowed and brow furrowed. "It's like my limbs are waking up again, like when you sleep funny and then go all numb. They're slow, heavy. Every movement is exhausting."

 

"Do you want to ta-" Talia stopped herself as Harden's eyes began to fall closed. The last thing he needed now was to be interrogated, however well-meaningly, and as desperate as Talia was to learn what she was about to put herself through, she would always put Harden's needs before her own.

 

"If you need anything, just call," she told him, stroking a hand through his hair. "You know I'll hear you."

 

"Thank you," he said again, and Talia nodded, closing the door behind her.

 

As she turned, Brasti was also coming out into the corridor, shutting Quillata's door quietly.

 

"How's Harden?" he asked solemnly.

 

"In bed, getting some rest," Talia said vaguely. "Quil?"

 

"The same. She seemed better after the bath, but still distant. It was disturbing seeing her so... helpless."

 

Talia nodded. "I'll check on her later. Have you seen Cunien?"

 

"I heard him pass just a minute ago. Allister seemed a little better than the others, maybe because he's bigger so the dose was slightly weaker, but I heard the two of them talking briefly, which must be good. I think Allister is asleep now, though."

 

The two of them were walking slowly down the corridor, but Brasti stopped outside Falcio's room.

 

"This stuff, this fear-tongue," he said, his expression open and unsettled. "It's... It's fucking insane."

 

Talia huffed. "Yes. Yes, it is, Brasti. And it's our turn tomorrow."

 

"If it was just my own neck on the line, I think I'd risk it," Brasti admitted. "Take the chance that I'll never meet a Dashini. I haven't in twenty-five years. Even after all this immunity training, what's to say I'll actually be able to beat a pair of Dashini in a fair fight, anyway? I would save myself the trouble of these lessons if it weren't that I'd be putting you lot in danger too."

 

"I think everyone feels exactly the same."

 

"Then maybe we should all just agree to be selfish and useless, and then no one will have to go through all this."

 

"It's a little late for that. We can't go back now."

 

"I suppose you're right." Brasti sighed and shook his head. "In which case, I hope this is worth it."

 

Talia nodded to the door behind Brasti. "Is he going to be alright?"

 

Brasti glanced over his shoulder. "Starting to care for him, are you? I thought you said he was an arse?"

 

"Oh, he is. But as much as I hate to admit it, he's a brilliant one, and we need him. I overheard him talking to Kest. Kest was afraid of losing him again. Do you know what he meant?"

 

Brasti shrugged as he began to undo the braids in his hair. "Falcio spent almost a year lost to himself, not just to Kest. But we won't let it happen again. I should go and help, I'll see you in the morning."

 

Brasti slipped inside the room, and before he closed the door, Talia saw Falcio bundled in Kest's arms on the bed, wrapped in a blanket but still staring blankly into space. Talia turned away, unease tingling across her shoulders. She made sure to detour to the now-unlocked antechamber in the Hall and collect her spear before she retired to her own room.

Notes:

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Short essay (probably longer than the chapter) below by request, explaining some character choices for anyone interested-

On characters--
So I chose the twelve characters I did because I wanted a mix of familiar characters (obviously the main three, Allister, Talia, Murielle and Quil to some extent) but also some of the original twelve. Dara and Bellow probably get three mentions between them, naming Dara as the King's Fury (amazing name) and Morn mentioning that Bellow lost both his legs at some point.

This story is set fairly early on in the five years, so that ruled out some characters like Mateo and Antrim who we know joined much later, but I wanted some familiarity in the characters so it's not comepletely guideless.

On pairings-
Ok so Falcio and Kest is an obvious one, as I guess is Talia and Harden.

Bellow and Tobb, I've just got in my head that they were besties, I don't know whether there's even the slightest canonical mention of them interacting but that's just what I've got.

Dara and Murielle - I feel like they were quite similar, both fairly slight, fairly feminine, maybe underestimated a bit. I know Murielle says no one would train with her, but I think these two have a bit of a competetive acquaintanceship going on, a bit of mutual understanding and respect.

Cunien and Allister - Again, I don't think they were particularly close, just kind of similar. There's something quite debonair about them both, I think. More so Cunien, like swashbuckling, suave, a bit of a dandy. Part of it is Cunien's moustache I guess, though I know that's a later addition. Whereas Alister is a bit more stoic and controlled. I'm thinking sort of Henry Cavill as Napoleon Solo, a bit cool, a bit sophisticated, a bit flirty. Not too much though, they're all big nerds really ;)

And that leaves Brasti and Quil. Don't get me wrong, Brasti annoys Quil just as much as he does everyone else. But in a big-sisterly sort of way. She's strong, confident, takes the job very seriously, while everything is a bit of a joke to Brasti, who always seems to get by. But actually, out of the mai three, Brasti gets on best with Quil, makes her lighten up a little, and she's quite protective of him.

Anyway, that's my babble over, let me know your own thought in the comments :)

Chapter 3: Troubled Nights

Summary:

How had a bit of dried plant stricken six of the king's strongest Greatcoats with such crippling fear that they couldn't even speak of it, even after the effects had supposedly worn off?

Notes:

Chapter 3. Progress!

Hope you enjoy :)

Talia had excellent hearing. Within the walls of Castle Aramor, she could pin down a single shout to within five feet just by the distortion and the echoes.

 

So the sound of crying wasn't difficult to locate in the dormitory wing.

 

Talia crept out of her quarters and down several doors. She lifted the catch, pushing it open gently and slipping inside with a candle.

 

"Allister?" she spoke softly, and the crying hitched for a moment, a shapeless form on the bed twisting slightly as Allister raised his head.

 

"Talia?" he asked, confused.

 

"Yes, it's just me. I heard you from my room."

 

Even in the faint candlelight, Talia could see Allister squirm in embarrassment, and she quickly added, "I was already awake, I've just checked on Quil and Harden. Besides, I have much better hearing than most of the others, except perhaps Brasti, and I would guess he's already comforting someone else tonight." Allister's quarters weren't the only ones from which Talia had heard crying.

 

Allister sniffed and cleared his throat, shuffling to sit up. He gave a resigned tilt of the head which Talia took as invitation to perch at the foot of the bed.

 

"Are you alright?" she asked. It was a ridiculous question, but she wasn't sure how else to get Allister to start talking to her. He had a habit of speaking a lot without actually saying anything.

 

"I'm alright," he lied, though he did it well. But he didn't meet her eye, which was his one easy tell. Usually, he wasn't so reserved and it was a side of him she hadn't seen before. "I just couldn't sleep, that's all."

 

"Couldn't, or didn't want to?"

 

Allister shrugged. "Both."

 

"Do you want to talk about it?"

 

"No."

 

"Do you think maybe you should?"

 

"Probably."

 

"Are you going to?"

 

Allister sighed. "Not tonight."

 

"I understand. I can't relate - yet - but I won't push. What do you need?"

 

Talia tried to catch his eye, giving him an imploring look which he finally met, but only with a helpless shake of the head. "I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. It's so late and I'm just so tired, but I can't sleep, and I feel like I'm running on fumes and at this rate I'm going to need the hard candy just to get through tomorrow with enough wherewithal to help Cunien when he takes the poison."

 

"You need some rest, even if it's not sleep. Lie back and close your eyes. Everything will be alright. Worst comes to worst, Harden can help you look after Cunien tomorrow, I'll manage."

 

"No," said Allister, suddenly alert. He grasped her arm. "No, I'll be there tomorrow. You all need someone there, someone who can give you their full, undivided attention. It's the only way to survive it."

 

"Survive it? What do you mean? What-?"

 

But Allister clammed up again, closing his eyes and shaking his head. He sucked in a steadying breath, his grip on her arm tightening as he fought some internal battle.

 

"What's it like?"

 

The question escaped her before she could catch it. As though some of the purple powder lingered on them even after bathing, tingling anxiety brushed Talia's skin and crept into her chest. How had a bit of dried plant stricken six of the king's strongest Greatcoats with such crippling fear that they couldn't even speak of it, even after the effects had supposedly worn off?

 

Talia dropped her head and looked away from Allister, ashamed at her selfish outburst. But to her surprise, there was a brief squeeze of her arm and Allister cleared his throat.

 

"First, you'll feel the powder in your nose and mouth. It's strange, it's so fine that you hardly notice it, it's just like breathing in when you've had mint, that coldness. I thought-" Allister cut himself off and forced his words away from first person.

 

"It spreads though your chest like the hard candy, but rather than lending your limbs strength and life, it seems to kill them. Poisoning them so that at first, they just freeze up and go stiff. That must be when the Dashini would..." He trailed off.

 

"And then?" Talia asked tentatively.

 

"I... I can't explain, not really. Nothing made any sense after that, although I know I was aware the whole time, and I somehow knew Cunien was there, always, the only bit of sanity. But the rest of it is confusing. The next thing I could understand was Cunien above me, telling me I was safe. I'm sorry, but I can't explain more than that, it..." Allister ran his fingers into his hair, pulling at it. "I can't -"

 

"It's fine," Talia assured him, pulling his hands away and replacing them with her own gentler ones. "I understand, I shouldn't have asked, it was stupid."

 

"No, of course you would want to know. I just wish I could help, but every time I try to think of it, I can't describe it. It's like when you wake from a dream sometimes, and everything made sense in it, but the moment you try to explain, it's too abstract. But it's not good, Talia. It's really not good."

 

"Not good? It's shit. This whole thing is absolutely shitty, and the shittiest part is that it will probably save our lives one day, but either way we'll be going through this shit at least twice each, and I can't see how it's going to get any less shitty."

 

"Finished shitting?" asked Allister, with a weak smile.

 

"Almost, except to say that you look like shit. There, I'm done."

 

"Well, thank you for that addition," he said wearily, though she knew he didn't mind. "I feel it, too."

 

"Do you think you can rest now?" Talia asked, as she eased Allister backwards into the pillow and pulled the covers over him.

 

"Rest, not sleep?"

 

"Rest, not sleep."

 

"I can probably manage a little."

 

"Good. At least give it a try, though you know where to find me," she said as she reached the door.

 

"Thank you, Talia."

 

"I'm sorry, I don't think I gave very good advice."

 

"No, but the company was nice."

 

"In that case, you're welcome. Goodnight, Allister."

 

"Night, Talia."

 

Crossing back to her own room with her candle, Talia heard breathing on the other side of the door. She pushed it open quietly and gave a sad smile before climbing under the covers of the half of her bed which was not already claimed by Harden, his brow furrowed even in sleep. He lay with his head at the foot of the bed as he used to when they were children and he would climb into Talia's bunk when he was too afraid to sleep alone. Seeing the outline of him under the blankets top-and-tailing with her was the thing that made her finally realise how horrendous the fear-tongue must be. The last time Harden has done this, he had been nine and she eleven, and it had been the night the new Baron had arrived in their town.

 

"I'll get us out of this," she whispered, her determination burning even as she blew out the candle. "I swear, I will."

Notes:

Hope you liked it, let me know in the comments!

 

Character notes for those interested - Murielle:

The mechanics of the fear tongue will be delved into more next chapter but in my mind, fear tongue doesn't make you relive your worst memories, it doesn't even make you face the thing you fear most. It just makes you feel such intense fear, that you might only associate it with your worst imaginings or your worst memory.

That said, the reason it affected Murielle so much is partly because she's smaller, so the dosage is more potent, but also because one of her biggest fears is that people think she's not worthy of being a Greatcoat, that she doesn't think she's good enough. So she's afraid of showing weakness, and the poison makes her weak in front of everyone, and then she's trapped in a vicious circle.

Chapter 4: Something Wicked

Summary:

Her stomach churned and clenched in disorientation and terror, convinced she was teetering on the edge of cliff she couldn't see.

Notes:

Next chapter, woohoo! Enjoy!

Breakfast the next morning was a sombre affair. Most of them rose late, knowing that training would not be until the afternoon, so the kitchens had laid out a cold spread in the banquet hall for them to pick at throughout the morning.

 

Talia, Harden and Quillata entered the hall mid morning to find only Bellow and Tobb at the table, though the disturbed food showed others had been and gone. Talia knew Allister and Cunien had been among them, having heard them pass her room, but she had not seen the others.

 

"Brasti was up early," said Quillata as the three of them sat down. Her eyes were dull and shadowed, her dark hair mussed up from her nervous fidgeting, but she sat determinedly tall. "He came to check on me. I think he and Kest were up most of the night."

 

"I'd be surprised if many of us weren't," said Talia, taking some fruit and setting it on Harden's plate when he made no move himself. "Eat something," she told him. "If I have to guilt you into it for my own sake, I will."

 

Harden had woken regularly throughout the night, startling awake with a stifled yelp followed by muffled sobs, until Talia sat with him and hummed him back to sleep. She was just glad her old tricks still worked.

 

His poor sleep showed in his drawn face, eyes blinking too fast, darting too nervously. He was a ghost of his usual cheerful self, like the fear-tongue had taken more than his movement away the day before.

 

Talia nudged him, and he reached slightly shaking hands forward to take some of the berries.

 

"Did you manage any sleep?" Talia asked Quillata, who was picking at a bread roll with as much enthusiasm as Harden. "You were quiet when I checked on you."

 

"A little. Not really sleep, just dozed. Kept hearing... things."

 

Talia left it at that.

 

Dara and Murielle appeared just before noon. Talia couldn't help but be curious that even they seemed to have stuck together; true, they had a certain amount in common, but Talia had never seen them getting along before. But then, falling apart in paralysing and gut-wrenching terror in the other person's lap probably had a way of breaking down some of those barriers.

 

They had both recovered their weapons from the closet - at least, Dara had her two swords and though Talia couldn't see them, she imagined Murielle had her thorns on her. Talia made a note to make sure she collected them up again.

 

Dara struck up conversation with Talia and Old Tobb, and Bellow managed to join in, if a little slowly. Murielle seemed to be trying to make herself as inconspicuous as possible, bundled deep in her coat and keeping her head down. When she noticed Talia watching her, she put on a scathing look which failed to hide her embarrassment.

 

"Piss off," she snapped, only loud enough for Talia to hear. Talia turned her gaze back to her food, but was interested to notice Murielle didn't leave the table, as much as she wanted to be left alone. It only added to Talia's anxiety over how bad the fear-tongue really was.

 

~

 

The rest of the Greatcoats didn't appear until they were gathering in the corridor outside the training hall just before the second bell of the afternoon. Talia caught Allister's eye and gave an inquiring nod, which he returned determinedly. She was glad to see he was looking a little better than he had the previous night.

 

Brasti split off from Falcio and Kest to join Quillata, a collection of small braids swinging in his hair - not his usual elegant style, but anxious, fidgety plaits undone and redone by subconscious fingers which didn't have a bow or arrow to fiddle with.

 

Beside Talia, Harden was taking forced breaths, deliberately calm and deep. But the rustle of cloth gave him away as he pulled out his small packet of hard candy. To Talia's surprise, he didn't take any at first, but weaved unobtrusively through the crowd, offered a small crumb to each of the Greatcoats who had already undergone the trial.

 

Murielle and Tobb took it. Allister and Quillata declined. Falcio hesitated, his hand reaching out before stopping himself and shaking his head, turning away. He looked dreadful, possibly the worst of the lot of them. The effort it took to even be there showed clearly in the lines on his face, and it didn't look like he had slept at all. Kest placed a hand briefly on Falcio's shoulder and he looked up, startled for a moment. Some silent communication passed between them, a hint of emotion flashing across Kest's face for the briefest moment. Whatever it said, Falcio nodded and pulled himself up a little taller, though not without significant effort.

 

Harden returned to Talia's side, finally taking a bit of hard candy for himself before slipping the packet back into his pocket.

 

"You good?" Talia asked quietly.

 

"Not exactly a long term solution but it does the job for now," conceded Harden, sucking in a deep breath as the candy buzzed through him. "Whatever happens, just know that I've got you, Short Arse. I swear."

 

"I know," she smiled. "Just this once, I'll let you be the responsible one. Don't fuck it up."

 

"I'll try my best."

 

The clock bell tolled and the whole group tensed simultaneously, and then Falcio pushed open the doors.

 

The anxiety could be heard in the hesitancy of the steps on the stone floor as the twelve Greatcoats entered the hall for the second time, this time with no curiosity about what they might face.

 

Paelis stood grimly in the middle of the room, surrounded by the same apothecaries as before. The king looked grim, hands clasped behind his back as he watched them enter. They didn't sit. The few other Greatcoats who had retrieved their weapons handed them to Talia and she locked them away with her spear, handing over the key reluctantly.

 

"I'm glad to see you all here," said Paelis, eyes scanning particularly across the Greatcoats who had taken the first trial. He seemed to linger on those who had taken the crumb of hard candy that Harden had offered, as though Paelis could smell it was the only thing keeping them there.

 

"I apologise for what you are about to go through," he continued. "And I applaud your bravery in returning. If you are ready, I see no sense in delaying further. Please take your positions."

 

Talia and Harden moved to their dueling circle from before, and Talia recognised the same apothecary. She tried to smile but it came across as more of a loathsome grimace if the apothecary's flinch was anything to go by.

 

"Keep your eyes fixed on me, and try to listen for my voice," whispered Harden. There were dark shadows under his eyes but he was alert and determined. "I've got you."

 

"Ready?" called Paelis.

 

No, I'm not, and never bloody will be, scowled Talia.

 

"Begin."

 

Talia's breath stuttered as she tried to force herself to breathe in the sparkling dust all at once while common sense told her to hold her breath. She ended up choking, and a large inhale caught all the dust and set her nose and mouth burning with cold, just like Allister had described. The cold crept down her throat like a strange whiskey, and she could feel its progress down into her chest, stretching out icy fingers through her limbs.

 

On her second breath, she forgot all of that.

 

With a blink, she was no longer in the training hall, or even in Aramor. She was nowhere and everywhere, physical space didn't matter, only that something was coming.

 

"-alia? Tal- you hear- listen t- m-"

 

A voice, calling her name, flickered in and out of range. She tried to chase it, but the cold burn had spread to her legs, and she couldn't move them. She was frozen in place, cloud swirling around her, offering her glimpses of pale marble then pale flesh, concerned eyes then demonic ones.

 

She took a breath to scream, but clammy hands clenched around her throat. She tried to reach up to pull the fingers off her neck, but her own hands wouldn't respond, cold and motionless.

 

The damp fog around her blocked everything else from view now, and deadened all sound. Talia could hear nothing, the silence pressing in around her, even her own breathing disappearing in the mist. Never had she experienced such absolute quiet, not a single reference or bearing to orientate her. Her stomach churned and clenched in disorientation and terror, convinced she was teetering on the edge of cliff she couldn't see.

 

Hands groped at her, grabbing and pulling, tugging at her hair and shirt as she stood helpless. Only one pair of hands remained gentle and still, holding her upper arms as though to stop a swaying she couldn't feel. They were the only point of consistency in the broiling storm clouds around her.

 

Something's coming.

 

Talia jumped, though her body never moved. She didn't hear the voice, and it wasn't her own, but it reverberated inside her in the dark. Anger and defiance, her weapons long before she had ever picked up a spear, tried to ignite but were smothered by the fog of fear.

 

There was a flash of lightning in the swirling storm, but instead of the low boom and rumble of thunder, there was only a sucking silence. As if the ground beneath her feet had just split open, Talia felt her stomach lurch sickeningly as she fell. Again, she tried to scream, again hands choked her into silence.

 

Something's wrong.

 

Wrong where? Wrong here? Where was here? Talia was deaf, blind, frozen. She couldn't feel anything beneath her fingertips, just hands pulling and dragging her.

 

~

 

Something's here.

 

Talia gasped at the words which were so clear, someone had to have whispered them right in her ear. She tried to grab at the source, but her hand was weak and held in someone else's grasp. Panicked, she searched for her captor, but found it was only Harden, who immediately let go of her hand with a gentle pat.

 

Beside him was Quillata, looking over her with concern. Brasti was nowhere to be seen, Kest and Falcio also missing, but the weapons cupboard had been opened.

 

"Are you back?" Quillata asked gently.

 

Talia tried to speak, but her throat was tight, like someone had tried to strangle her. For a second, she panicked, imagining hands closing around her neck, but then she blinked and remembered where she was and what she had just done. She nodded weakly, only then realising she was trembling.

 

"It's alright, you're safe now, the worst is over," said Harden. He looked like he was barely holding himself together, but he gave her a soft smile when she glanced at him.

 

Between them, Quillata and Harden helped Talia to her feet. She saw Tobb, Cunien and Dara all being helped up too, in varying states of lucidity.

 

Talia wavered in and out of awareness, losing time between moments of clarity. She found herself back in her room, Harden unbuttoning her coat. The next thing she knew, she was already in the bath, Quillata gently sponging the sweat and tears from her face. Then she was wrapped in blankets, cradled in Harden's arms as Quillata combed out her damp hair.

 

Talia was so used to feeling anger; a burning, fizzing energy inside her that ignited at any hint of a threat. A cocky smirk and a tap of her spear, and she was ready to face it. She knew fear, but she countered it with a strong emotion, a powerful, almost manic excitement.

 

But now, there was no bubbling, pushing feeling inside her. Instead there was a sucking, gasping hunger, a desperation to be shielded, protected, held. She hated it, she loathed it with a passion, but instead of anger, all she felt was more fear.

 

She clutched at Harden's coat with weak fingers, pressing against his chest. His arms tightened around her, and Quillata's rhythmic motions changed from practical to comforting, her fingers slowly running through Talia's hair with a tenderness Talia rarely saw from her.

 

"The others?" Talia asked, her throat feeling less tender now.

 

"They're fine. They're being looked after," Quillata promised.

 

"Brasti? You should be with him."

 

"He's with Falcio and Kest, Falcio will take good care of him. Kest was... well, it's hard to say with Kest. His expression barely changed, but there was a look in his eyes, like he was seeing the end of the world. He was a bit more aware than the others, though silent, and the three of them went back to Brasti's room. I'll check on them later, once I know you're Ok."

 

Talia wanted to smile, make some light joke about being fine, letting Quillata and Harden go. But the one thing that still brought her fear despite knowing the powder was out of her system was the thought of being alone.

 

"Someone stay," she whispered, holding Harden's coat tighter. "Please stay."

 

"You're not alone, Tal," Harden whispered, leaning down to hug her. "I've got you, Short Arse."

 

Quillata stroked her hair once more before leaving them, making sure a candle was lit on the side board to chase away the worst of the shadows.

 

"Are you alright?" Talia asked. She could hear Harden's forcibly steady breathing.

 

"Me?" he asked, a little too surprised. "I'm the one looking after you."

 

"Harden, don't. You know I can hear when you are trying too hard to stay calm. What's wrong?"

 

Harden rolled Talia up into the blankets, keeping a hand on her arm as he sat back against the headboard. "Nothing, I am just worried about you."

 

"I'm fine, Idiot, I promise. Just tired. I'm alright."

 

"I know you are now, but you weren't before. I already went through it, I know what it was like so don't try and lie to me. And I could see it in your eyes. You couldn't move but there was no hiding that fear. And it was frightening, seeing you looking so scared and yet not doing anything. I kept waiting for you to fight back, I kept thinking, I couldn't do it, but Talia will manage it. She's crazy, she'll fight anything. But you just stood there gripping my arm and shaking."

 

"I'm sorry," whispered Talia, not meeting Harden's eye. "I should have tried harder, you know I would have if you'd been in danger. But I couldn't seem to move and I was so confused. Nothing made sense, I couldn't hear you, or see you. I should have focussed more, I should have-"

 

"No, you shouldn't," interrupted Harden. "Stop it, that's not what I was trying to say. I wasn't scared because you weren't trying hard enough, I was scared because I knew exactly how hard you were trying, and yet this stuff was still winning. This poison was still beating you."

 

"When do we have to take it again?" Talia ventured to ask. The king has not mentioned the time expected between doses.

 

"A few days, I think. For the love of Saint Birgid, I'm dreading it. I don't know if I can go through that again, Talia. Now I know what it feels like, I'm not sure I could go back in there and face it a second time, no matter how much Paelis insists it will be better. Is that a terrible thing to say? I'm not brave enough to do it again."

 

"It's a perfectly reasonable thing to say, and I will do everything I can to make sure you don't have to."

 

"But what can you do?"

 

"I don't know, but I'll find a way."

Notes:

Hope you liked it. As usual, this is probably going to be more chapters than I planned, but hey, we'll see.

Comments always welcome