Actions

Work Header

Oops! Baby Hua Cheng!

Summary:

There is a part of Hua Cheng that he would like to get rid of in order to be stronger for Xie Lian.

He finds an old artifact that supposedly will take this vulnerable side of him out. However, what happens is Xie Lian and Hua Cheng are now accompanied by a mini San Lang clone—a very clingy Hong-er.

And no Hua Cheng is not jealous of all the attention his younger self is receiving from his gege thank you very much.

Notes:

Hello! I been reading lots of emotional hurt/comfort lately (don’t psycho-analyze me lol) so here you go. Also I thought this concept was funny.

Hua Cheng might seem out of character at points but it’s because he’s literally missing part of himself.

Longer notes at the end explaining my thought process with this.

I hope you enjoy ❤️

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

This is not what Hua Cheng had intended. 

The merchant he had purchased the hand-mirror from had said something else entirely would happen. They explained that it was useful for anyone who wanted to grow stronger. That it would get rid of any undesired weaknesses. More specifically; he had said that any piece of you that was unwanted could be cast out.

The ghost king had thought this would be a good idea. If he could get rid of the annoying parts of himself, it would make it much easier for him to focus on protecting Xie Lian. There was a part of him in particular which inhibited his abilities…

The incident had occurred just a week before he bought the mirror. 

Xie Lian had volunteered for a somewhat dangerous task. There was a menace-level ghost (previously unknown to Hua Cheng) that was causing trouble in a village. It had seemed minor at first. Livestock and the like would disappear overnight, which the villagers had initially believed to be due to wolves. However, hunts would repeatedly prove unsuccessful. They could find no traces of the livestock—no remains were left behind in any of the surrounding areas. 

The issue only came to the attention of the heavens when some people had gone missing—two farmers and a young woman. 

Xie Lian informed Hua Cheng where he was going to begin his investigation. Of course. he was far from powerless but Hua Cheng decided he’d be accompanying the god anyway. 

The couple started by disguising themselves as young travelers then spoke to the members of the village. It wasn’t long until they learned the history of the ghost. The menace had turned out to have been a young man from the village who had died some decades ago. However, he had taken the form of a child. Whether it was in order to deceive anyone who may see him, or the result of malnourishment was anyone’s guess. They found out that the young man had lost his mother and father at a young age and had no one to look out for him for years. Apparently, the rest of the village had not been kind to him in his formative years and he eventually became quite resentful before his passing. 

It all hit too close to home for Hua Cheng. He shrugged it off, initially. It wasn’t exactly that rare of a scenario. They tracked down the ghost and found him in an empty barn house. As they fought to catch the ghost, Hua Cheng had been about to deliver a blow that would pacify the boy. 

However, he faltered. 

Instead of capturing the menace, Hua Cheng was knocked back—overall he was unharmed but it had surprised him. 

Xie Lian had then stepped in to take care of the ghost and the fight was over. Hua Cheng was dazed and it took a moment for his mind to truly recover. He apologized to the god profusely afterward. Xie Lian told him to not worry about it—that it happened to everyone. 

But Hua Cheng couldn’t let it go. 

He needed to find a way to not let this happen again. 

While Xie Lian wrapped up the matter with the menace in the heavenly realm, Hua Cheng roamed the marketplaces of Ghost City in disguise. He was searching for a solution to his problem. 

So a week after his misstep on the mission with the menace, he came across a stand he had never seen before on the outskirts of Ghost City. 

The merchant showed him a variety of goods when he first approached. Hua Cheng interrupted him partway through an explanation of an enchanted belt to state he was looking for something to help him get rid of a weakness. 

That’s when he was shown the small, hand-held mirror. 

~

“San Lang?” Xie Lian had awoken the ghost king one morning. 

The two were tangled in one another’s arms in their bedroom in Paradise Manor. It was when Xie Lian peeled himself off and moved to the edge of the bed that the ghost king stirred. 

“Hm? What’s wrong gege?” Hua Cheng sat up, rubbing his eye. 

Xie Lian wore a confused expression on his face. He looked at Hua Cheng then at the door and back. 

“Yin Yu just spoke to me in the communication array,” he explained, getting up and putting on his robe. “He seemed to think you had been cursed.”

“Huh?” Hua Cheng looked at his hands. “I don’t think so…”

“Right. I told him you were right next to me,” Xie Lian nodded. 

He hurried out of the room and Hua Cheng realized, belatedly, that he should follow. Why would Yin Yu contact Xie Lian first? He tugged on a robe and his eye patch before chasing after his husband. 

~

Hua Cheng immediately knew that the mirror had caused it. 

However, he could not admit that to Xie Lian. Period. 

“And this is our room, Hong-er!” Xie Lian said to the boy he carried. 

It was true. Apparently, in Hua Cheng’s attempt to rid himself of any weakness, the mirror had instead given his weakness physical form. So while Hua Cheng felt a little less burdened, he now had a miniature version of himself to deal with. 

“Oh! Oh! San Lang!” Xie Lian turned to Hua Cheng. “Do you still have those robes we bought you right before we went to Mount Tonglu? You looked so cute in them! I think they’d fit just right on Hong-er. 

Hong-er had buried his face into Xie Lian’s chest. The robes he wore were just as terrible as Hua Cheng remembered—too small, rough fabric, holes and stains all over. 

Hua Cheng didn’t speak, he just nodded before retrieving the robes. 

He watched as Xie Lian set down Hong-er on the bed, chatting excitedly. The boy’s face was bandaged and his hair was tangled. 

“Can I take these off?” Xie Lian asked tenderly. “There’s dirt on your face.”

Hong-er tensed. 

“I’ve seen what you look like without them.” Xie Lian added. 

He glanced at Hua Cheng as he said it. The ghost king just leaned against the wall of the room, arms folded. 

Hong-er leaned toward Xie Lian and whispered something in his ear. 

Xie Lian chuckled and turned to Hua Cheng again. “You’re right, he is a little scary. But I love him very much—so you can trust him.”

Hua Cheng smirked. 

“I’m sure San Lang would take off his eyepatch, too, if we asked,” Xie Lian said. 

His smirk fell. “Gege, why is that necessary?”

“Oh, you don’t have to, San Lang. I just thought it might help Hong-er feel better,” Xie Lian shrugged. 

“It’s okay, Your Highness,” Hong-er whispered. “I will if you’ve seen… and really, really think I should.”

At that, Hua Cheng snapped his attention to the boy and god, ripping off his own eye patch and throwing it on the floor. 

“There,” the ghost king said in a triumphant tone. 

Xie Lian laughed. “San Lang can be a little competitive at times.”

Xie Lian dressed Hong-er in the nice red robes before removing the bandages. That bright red eye was revealed—making both Hua Cheng and Hong-er nervous. 

“Ah!” Xie Lian continued to grin. “There’s that handsome face!”

The god then placed a kiss on Hong-er’s forehead. He blushed an intense pink as Xie Lian began to comb his hair.

An odd feeling stirred in Hua Cheng’s chest. 

“Well, Hong-er,” Hua Cheng said, standing up straight. “I do believe that His Highness has some important business to tend to in the heavens.”

The boy frowned and looked up at Xie Lian. “You have to go?”

“Hmm,” Xie Lian scratched his chin. “I think I can take a day off. After all, I’d love to spend some time with my sweet Hong-er.”

Hong-er beamed. 

“Well, I’ll obviously have to stay nearby until we figure out exactly where he came from,” Hua Cheng said matter-of-factly. 

“Of course,” Xie Lian agreed. “Are you hungry?”

Hua Cheng opened his mouth to reply before realizing the god had been talking to the boy. 

He must have nodded because Xie Lian picked him up and headed to the kitchen with Hua Cheng in tow.

As Xie Lian heated up some leftover soup for all three of them, Hua Cheng sat down and pondered whether he should track down the ghost who sold him the mirror. 

Then he realized Hong-er was sitting across from him, staring with wide eyes. 

“What are you looking at?” Hua Cheng asked, ignoring how weird it was that he was talking to a young version of himself. 

“What happened to your eye?” Hong-er asked. 

“What do you think happened?” He countered. 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Hit with an arrow?”

“Nope. I plucked it out myself,” Hua Cheng grinned. 

“San Lang stop that,” Xie Lian said, bringing over their food. “You’re gonna scare him.”

Hua Cheng folded his arms and pouted. 

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Hong-er said as Xie Lian gave him a bowl. 

“Ah please, Hong Hong-er,” the god smiled as he sat. “Call me gege.”

“Okay, gege!”

If Hua Cheng bent his silverware, no one noticed. 

Xie Lian chatted on and on about Paradise Manor, Ghost City, and the heavenly realm. Hong-er listened with such focus, as if every word the god said was going to appear on an exam later. 

Hua Cheng, knowing all this already, let his mind drift. 

What was he going to do about this young doppelgänger of his? He wasn’t like the clones whom he could will in and out of existence. Killing him (dissipating?) was out of the question as Xie Lian would undoubtedly never forgive Hua Cheng for doing. Same goes for abandoning the kid. 

That left two options: reversing the spell or having Hong-er live with them from here on out. 

Hua Cheng could stand living with a child. If he and Xie Lian decided to start a family of their own not only would Xie Lian spoil the child but Hua Cheng would as well. He often envisioned it; a small being bearing traits of himself and Xie Lian. The idea of a family was a pleasant thought.

The difference with this ? With Honghong-er? It was that Hua Cheng had intended to rid himself of a nuisance. Hong-er was clingy and annoying and emotional and would get in the way! It was as if his problem had not gone at all. 

And it wasn’t fair that Honghong-er was getting so much attention from his god while Hua Cheng was right here. 

Hua Cheng changed his appearance into a subtle disguise as his meal was finished. Xie Lian noticed and gave an inquisitive look. 

“I have to run an errand,” Hua Cheng stated. 

“Okay, be safe!” Xie Lian smiled then returned his attention to the boy. 

~

Hua Cheng all but stomped through the marketplace where he had purchased the mirror. Though no one recognized him per se, the ghosts either saw or sensed his rage as he moved through Ghost City. When he came upon the place where the merchant had been, he was stunned to find the stall was gone. 

“What happened to the merchant who used to be here?” Hua Cheng barked at a nearby ghost with antlers and heavy makeup.  

“Dunno,” she shrugged, clicking her tongue as she sprayed perfume on herself. “Said he didn’t get any business here or somethin’ I s’pose.” 

“Did he say where he was going?”

I don’t know! Guy was a creep, I didn’t like talkin’ to him anywho,” the woman said. 

Hua Cheng dug his sharp nails into a fist. He turned to the empty stall and smashed it to pieces in one hit. Whatever. It didn’t matter if the useless merchant was gone. Hua Cheng could figure this out on his own. 

~

He was in his study, poring over texts from his library, searching for any scrap of information that could give him a clue as to how to fix what must be a curse rather than a spell. 

An incense time passed and the ghost king became increasingly frustrated as no information he skimmed had any relevance to his problem. He could task Yin Yu with the issue but he was already trying to solve an issue of his own—dealing with that wild shidi of his. Plus, the ghost king really would prefer to fix this without anyone learning anything at all. 

Besides, admitting he had attempted to rid himself of his weakness was admitting that he had weaknesses in the first place. 

A knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts. Xie Lian stepped into the room with Honghong-er in tow. 

“San Lang?” He said. “Mind if we join you?”

“Gege may do as he pleases,” Hua Cheng sighed. 

“Is there something I can help you out with?” Xie Lian asked, closing the door. “You seem frustrated.”

“It’s nothing gege should worry about,” Hua Cheng said. He eyed his younger self, who was holding onto Xie Lian’s robes with one hand. The boy squeaked when he met his gaze and stepped behind Xie Lian. 

Xie Lian frowned at Hua Cheng. “San Lang, you of all people should be nice to him.”

“I only looked at him,” Hua Cheng shrugged, turning back to his book. It wasn’t his fault he was so intimidating. 

Xie Lian picked out a book to read to Hong-er while Hua Cheng continued skimming various texts. 

It was well into the afternoon when Hua Cheng realized he wasn’t going to find his answer within his own library. He sighed and put his current book away then turned around to find Hong-er sitting across from Xie Lian at the low table by the window. Hong-er was listening intently. 

Hua Cheng made his way to the low table and sat down next to Xie Lian. The god kept reading but smiled to acknowledge the ghost. Hua Cheng listened in for a while. Then, while making eye contact with Hong-er, he scooted a little closer. 

And closer. 

The boy’s eyes widened, like he was worried Hua Cheng was going to get in trouble for infringing on Xie Lian’s personal space. Hua Cheng leaned his head onto Xie Lian’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around the god’s arm. Xie Lian paused and planted a kiss on his head, Hua Cheng lifted his face and pouted his lips for a peck from Xie Lian before he continued reading. He looked back to Hong-er, who looked absolutely astonished to see how the god let the ghost be so close, let alone kiss him. 

Hua Cheng flashed a possessive smile at Hong-er. The boy gasped and jumped to his feet. 

Xie Lian looked up from the book. “What’s wrong? I didn’t think this story would be scary at all…”

Hong-er, however, did not look scared. He curled his hands into fists and made a determined expression. 

“Gege!” Hong-er said, bowing his head slightly. “Can I… sit with you too?”

Hua Cheng frowned and tightened his hold on Xie Lian. Was he really like that as a child? So bold? 

“He’s my husband,” Hua Cheng growled. 

“San Lang, hush,” Xie Lian scolded. “Of course you can also sit with me, Honghong-er.”

The god patted the empty spot next to him. Hong-er looked delighted as he sat down on Xie Lian’s other side, curling up against the god as Xie Lian started reading again. 

When the story ended, Xie Lian found Honghong-er had fallen asleep. 

“I’m going to put him to bed,” Xie Lian said to Hua Cheng. 

Xie Lian carried the boy out and Hua Cheng slumped over onto the low table. The entire day had passed and he was no closer to figuring out how to get rid of Hong-er. 

He went to the shelf he left the mirror on and inspected it. Maybe if he shattered it? No, that would be too risky. It could make the spell irreversible instead. 

Hua Cheng set it back down and rubbed his temples. Also he cursed a few times. 

Maybe he should go to Gamblers Den. It would distract him a bit and he could take out his frustration on some idiotic ghosts. Or a Heavens official if he was lucky. 

He opened the door to exit his study and was surprised to find Xie Lian standing in the hallway, arms folded across his chest. 

“Gege!” He sighed. “You surprised me.”

“Can I come in?”

“Is gege not tired? Does he not think we should go to bed?”

“It’s not that late,” Xie Lian said, entering the room. He sat down cross-legged on the divan in the back of the room and patted the empty spot beside him. 

He knows. 

Hua Cheng sulked over. 

They sat in silence for a long moment. Hua Cheng felt warm—that was unusual. Ghosts didn’t get warm like that. The air felt so thick and tense suddenly that Hua Cheng thought he’d collapse if he had to withstand this feeling for any longer. 

Until Xie Lian spoke. 

“I know that Hong-er came from a spell you performed,” Xie Lian said. 

Hua Cheng, cool as a cucumber, feigned confusion. “Hm?”

“San Lang, you’ve been angry all day long and you’ve been taking it out on poor little Honghong-er. I suspected it this morning but this evening confirmed it for me.”

“I…!” Hua Cheng was surprised, and he didn’t want to lie to Xie Lian for another second. He exhaled. “Gege is too clever. This one apologizes for trying to hide it.”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“Your Highness won’t like the answer…”

“I’ll love you anyway,” Xie Lian reassured him. That was something they had started to say to each other now and then. No matter what, I’ll love you anyway. 

Hua Cheng let out a shaky breath at that. “Gege remembers the menace from last week? And how this one… faltered.”

“San Lang, I already told you to not worry about that,” Xie Lian took Hua Cheng’s hand in his. 

“This San Lang remembers.” He swallowed. “But it can’t be allowed to happen again. So this one had to find a solution.”

He stood up and retrieved the mirror from the shelf and passed it to the god. “I was told this would cast out any part of me I wished to get rid of.”

Xie Lian’s eyes widened as he inspected it. Of course, it was an item that he once would also have liked to use himself. That is, if it really provided what it claimed to do. Now, however, as much as he regretted and hated it, he knew his past made him what he was today. 

“I didn’t know we’d end up with a street rat,” Hua Cheng spat as he sat down again. 

“San Lang,” Xie Lian sighed. “Don’t speak of yourself that way.”

“He’s not me.” Hua Cheng shook his head. “Not anymore. He is useless, annoying trash.”

Xie Lian grabbed his chin to make Hua Cheng look him in the eye. “How dare you say such things about my most devoted believer? That child is the reason I am still here today. He believed in me when no one else did. How can you call that useless?”

Hua Cheng said nothing. Only gazed at those fierce gold-brown eyes that held the power of a god behind them.

“This one made a mistake because of him. How can I not hate that which causes me to fail at protecting Your Highness?” Hua Cheng said. 

“You don’t hate him,” Xie Lian released his chin. 

“I do.”

“If that’s true, then why haven’t you killed him?”

“Because it would upset gege.”

“That’s not the whole reason.”

“Yes, it is.”

“No. It’s not,” Xie Lian spoke firmly. “I know it for a fact because when we fought that menace, San Lang saw a piece of himself in him. A scared little boy who did nothing wrong that was taught his very existence was a nuisance. A boy who deserved to be loved and cared for. San Lang saw Hong-er in the ghost. And he faltered because he loves Hong-er.”

“No…” Hua Cheng whispered, closing his eye. 

“San Lang wanted a different fate for the boy. He wanted a different fate for himself. Because he knows—deep down—he deserves it. He deserves to be loved.”

Hua Cheng frowned. He wanted to cry. But he couldn’t. Why couldn’t he cry? Ever since he reformed Xie Lian had taught him it’s okay to feel sad. He’d cried a few times in front of the god. 

He rested his head on Xie Lian’s shoulder, trembling, instead. Xie Lian was right but Hua Cheng couldn’t accept it. His emotions were too tied up for him to think rationally about any of this. His head hurt. His heart hurt. He just wanted to live in peace with Xie Lian! His husband. 

“It’s okay to cry,” Xie Lian whispered as he stroked the ghost’s hair. It was another phrase that they had told one another over and over again since Hua Cheng’s return. 

“I can’t seem to,” Hua Cheng said, voice strained. 

A long silence. 

Realization dawned on Xie Lian’s face and he froze. “Because you’re missing a piece of yourself.”

Hua Cheng only frowned, understanding but not fully. “I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s okay,” Xie Lian relaxed and stroked his hair. “I do.”

~

A week passed before Hua Cheng could follow through with Xie Lian’s plan. 

In the meantime, Hua Cheng tried his best to not resent Hong-er. In fact, he found it easier than he expected once he stopped being so jealous. The boy treated Xie Lian with the utmost respect. At some point, he even went into Hua Cheng’s garden and picked a white flower for Xie Lian—which made the god smile wide. 

Hua Cheng loved his husband’s smile.

The three of them were outside Puqi shrine meditating when Xie Lian had to go. 

“There’s an emergency in the heavens I have to take care of,” Xie Lian stood up. 

“Can I come?” Hua Cheng and Hong-er said simultaneously. 

Xie Lian smiled. “Ah Hong-er it’s too dangerous for you, I’m afraid.”

“Should I drop him off at Paradise Manor?” Hua Cheng asked. 

“Actually, San Lang,” Xie Lian ran a hand through his hair. “I need you to stay here. The… ah… less people the better.”

“They asked you not to bring me,” Hua Cheng raised an eyebrow. 

“Wha…?” Xie Lian looked away and put his hand to his temples. “Oh no! They need me right this second!” He backed away toward the shrine so he could draw a teleportation array. “Anyway, I have to go now. Love you both, bye!”

The god ran off and disappeared in a flash. 

“Gege, said he loves me,” Hong-er’s eyes widened and he clutched his robes. 

“Of course he does,” Hua Cheng said, absentmindedly. It took a moment for him to realize what he was saying. 

Hong-er looked up at him, mouth agape. 

“I wish I was married to gege,” Hong-er said. “You’re very lucky, sir.”

Hua Cheng couldn’t help but laugh a little at the whole scenario. 

“How have you liked Puqi shrine?” He asked. 

Hong-er smiled. “It’s nice. I just think gege deserves a bigger temple.” He used his hands to gesture. “It should be so big and have lots of nice decorations!”

“There is a bigger one in Ghost City,” Hua Cheng leaned back onto the grass, hands under his head. “I built it myself.”

“Can we go? I wanna see!”

Hua Cheng smiled before standing up and rolling his dice. “Follow me,” he said to the boy. 

The two approached Qiandeng temple and Hong-er marveled at the sight. It practically glowed due to how much it stood out against the wild darks and reds in the city. 

“Wow!” Hong-er said. “You know, gege said you were very strong!”

“He did?”

“The strongest!”

Hua Cheng smiled. “Not as strong as gege.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Hong-er shrugged. 

They went inside and Hua Cheng let Hong-er poke around as he went and sat down at the table where he and his husband practiced calligraphy. Eventually, Hong-er sat beside him, still looking around with wide eyes. 

“Gege said San Lang saved him. I hope I can be as strong as you someday. I wanna protect him too.”

Hua Cheng’s heart clenched momentarily. “Want to hear a secret?”

“A secret?”

He nodded. “You know how gege said you came to the future?”

Hong-er gave a sound of assent. 

“Well… that’s just half the truth,” Hua Cheng sighed. “I’m you. Grown up.”

Hong-er shot up. “You’re me!?”

“Yes,” Hua Cheng sat up and looked him in the eye. “You do become strong and… protect gege. Even before you grow up.”

He found himself rambling. Hua Cheng suddenly wanted to tell Hong-er everything that he’s done for Xie Lian. All his achievements over the centuries. As much as he viewed them as necessary tasks for his god rather than successes for himself, he realized now that he had come a long way from that kid he used to be. Looking at Hong-er he recalled how much he had just… wanted to die in his youth. How he wanted to disappear. He wanted to fix it. He wanted to tell Hong-er—he wanted to tell himself— he deserved better. 

But first…

“To be honest—I wanted to get rid of you. That’s why you’re here, in the ‘future.’ I thought that by getting rid of you I’d be stronger for His Highness,” he sighed. “It’s hard to not remember all the nasty things people called me when I was you.”

“Yeah,” Hong-er frowned, looking down. “I’d wanna get rid of me too.”

“But I realize now you don’t deserve that,” Hua Cheng said. He found himself echoing Xie Lian’s words. “You are strong, too. You’re the reason gege is still here. You saved him as much as he saved you.”

Hong-er began to shed tears. “R-really?”

Hua Cheng nodded. There were many parts of himself he didn’t like. Parts of himself he would never like or ever be able to forgive. But Hong-er? His younger self? Whose only sin was just being born? Possibly dirtying some robes worth a thousand times more than anything he possessed—but otherwise innocent?

Xie Lian was right. 

Hua Cheng didn’t hate him. 

“You deserved better,” Hua Cheng stated. His throat felt dry. “I’m sorry for not treating you right.”

“S’okay,” Hong-er hiccuped. “I really get to marry gege?”

“Yup,” Hua Cheng smiled. He waved a hand and showed the red string on his finger to prove it. “The other end is tied to him.”

Hong-er held out his own hand—initially to touch Hua Cheng’s. Until they both realized there was a red string on Hong-er’s finger too. The boy gasped. 

“As long as it’s there we can tell that gege is okay,” Hua Cheng explained. 

“I can’t believe I get to marry gege.”

“I can hardly believe it myself,” the ghost king admitted. “Someone as divine as him? With me?”

“I can tell he really loves you,” Hong-er said.

“You can?”

“The way he talks about you and the way he looks at you.” Hong-er blushed. “I got really jealous when he kissed you.”

“I was jealous of you! He’s given you so much attention,” Hua Cheng found himself smiling. He was surprised at how much he was enjoying chatting with Hong-er. 

Hong-er beamed. It was incredible how much the boy had come out of his shell in just the last week. Hua Cheng didn’t recall ever talking this much at this age. Is this how he would have behaved if he had always been properly cared for? 

“Come here, didi,” Hua Cheng held out his arms. 

Honghong-er tentatively stepped closer before entering the embrace. The ghost held him tight. 

~

By the time Xie Lian finished his work in the heavenly realm, Hua Cheng had informed him he’d gone back to Paradise manor. 

Xie Lian walked into their bedroom to find Hua Cheng laying on his back in his inner robe on the bed. 

“Hi, San Lang,” Xie Lian looked around the room. “Where’s Honghong-er?”

Hua Cheng sat up, a somber look on his face. “Hi gege. Honghong-er went home.”

Xie Lian sat down next to Hua Cheng. “Home?” He asked. 

Hua Cheng put a hand over his chest and nodded. 

“Are you okay?” Xie Lian wrapped his arms around him. Hua Cheng leaned into his embrace, tucking his face into the crook of Xie Lian’s neck. 

“Gege was right,” Hua Cheng said.

They both knew what he meant. 

“I’m glad,” Xie Lian rubbed circles onto his back. 

“He… he deserved better. He was just a kid. I just wanted to treat him right. Just for a while.”

“Did you not?”

“This one did, but didi was gone soon after,” he took a shaky breath. “I have his memories from the last few days, though. You made me—him— so happy. I just wanted him to be happy growing up.”

“San Lang,” Xie Lian said softly, understanding it was more about Hua Cheng longing for a better childhood for himself than treating himself with compassion. “We can’t change the past. You did deserve better. You still do.”

“No, no,” he disagreed. “I'm not him anymore. This one has messed up so much. It’s different.”

Xie Lian lifted his chin, wiping his thumb across Hua Cheng’s cheek. He hadn’t realized he was crying. 

“I’ve messed up, too,” Xie Lian sighed. “A lot. I still do.”

“Gege did what he thought was best,” Hua Cheng countered, quickly cutting in. 

“I still did a lot of terrible things,” Xie Lian shook his head, careful to not get lost in any memories. “Do I not deserve you? All that you’ve done for me?”

“Gege deserves it all and more!” Hua Cheng frowned. “Better even!”

“So does San Lang,” Xie Lian smiled. “It’s hard for me to believe I deserve you, too. I feel like I haven’t done enough to appreciate you. But if I can mess up and still have you next to me? Same goes for you.”

Hua Cheng was silent. 

“Even if you don’t believe it, I’m going to treat you with all the love you deserve. Then and now. And if San Lang is able, I think he should allow himself what Hong-er couldn’t have.”

Hua Cheng buried his face in Xie Lian’s chest. The god simply held him in place. His heart felt both full and empty. Happy and sad. A complex web of thoughts and feelings was woven in his chest. Eventually they laid down, holding each other tightly under the covers. Eventually, his mind seemed to settle. 

“Gege,” Hua Cheng said after a long time. 

“Hm?”

“Would you like to have any kids?”

“Oh,” Xie Lian was a little surprised. “Maybe. Maybe when things have settled down in the Heavens a little more.”

“I think I’d want to raise a child with gege. Children aren’t quite as annoying as I initially thought.”

“Awe did my sweet Honghong-er give San Lang baby fever? Because he loves him so much?” Xie Lian teased. 

“Ah, actually I’d love a little Lianlian around.”

“Oh, I’m not sure you do. I may have been a prince but I was not the angel Honghong-er was.”

“This San Lang doesn’t believe you.”

“It’s true!” Xie Lian said. “For one, I was a very picky eater. Just ask Feng Xin or Mu Qing!”

Hua Cheng shook his head and squeezed Xie Lian a little. “I don’t trust that trash.”

“Then San Lang will just have to take my word for it.”

“Mm. Maybe we’ll get lucky and our child will have a more mild temperament than either of us did,” Hua Cheng hummed. 

“I hope they’re as cute as San Lang,” Xie Lian said. 

“They should have gege’s eyes.”

“We may just have to leave it up to fate,” Xie Lian ran his hand through the ghost’s dark hair. 

“That child will be spoiled either way,” Hua Cheng leaned into his husband’s touch. 

“Will San Lang allow his husband to spoil him, tonight?” Xie Lian kissed his cheek before speaking in his ear. 

“If gege promises to make up for the lack of attention this one received this week.”

“Was San Lang jealous?” Xie Lian teased. 

“When has this San Lang ever been jealous?” The ghost king lied. 

Xie Lian laughed at that before showering Hua Cheng with all the love and attention he’s always deserved. 

And more. 

Notes:

Sometime last year I drew a picture of myself speaking to my younger self. I often look back at younger me and think of them as a bit of a screw-up. However, I think little me would be proud of where I am even though I often think I could be doing more.

Basically, I think Hua Cheng just deserves to heal his inner child a little bit.

Thank you for reading. I have more fics in the work, hopefully I can get one of them posted in June.

Let me know your thoughts and ideas in the comments! Kudos always make my day. ❤️

Series this work belongs to: