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Penny Lamb now the sole survivor of the Cyclone Disaster, formerly the lesbian who bit star JK-47, had a hard time readjusting to her life. The tragedy made her popular in a completely different way (she was an innocent angel now apparently). Despite the drastic change in her school life and reputation, she found that certain aspects still remained the same.
She was still stared at, pitied at and isolated. At least, her and her brother were no longer bullied.
Recovery was hard, but she tried. She wasn't injured too badly, no broken bones (they even called it a miracle, that she was saved by an angel, she wanted to scream at them). Her only severe injury is a scar at her neck and the temporary loss of her voice. Still the mental scars were still there, the only thing she remembered as Jane Doe was her death and her scream. It still echoes in her mind when everything is quiet.
She tried though, she had to be present for all their funerals, wanted to help planning them too. Noel's hatred of his funeral was something she didn't want to repeat again. So scratch pad in hand, she was determined to do her best, it was the least she could do.
Ocean's was the first because her family wanted to be done with it (or at least that's what she heard while they thought she wasn't there). Her family was planning on not inviting anyone to the funeral. Ocean wasn't well liked by any of people her age but her drive in her studies has made her a favorite of the teachers, so Penny expected that some of the teachers would at least visit (she was proven right when Ms. Kelly asked if she could do anything for the funeral) The hardest part was getting Ocean's family to understand her, they were often too high to fully understand what she wrote. She wondered if them being high to this extent was just grief or if this was just how they usually were.
Still the funeral was gonna happen and there was gonna be some kind of decor whether they were with her or not. Thankfully she's had experience in getting high people to agree to something (she and Ocean had a lot more in common than she thought). She wanted something to represent the Ocean that changed in her last moments.
But what...?
She bought some cardboard and made small little butterflies and their cocoons, afterall both the old and the new Ocean was dead. She wrote a speech and Tammy Edwards read it, it was nerve wracking even though there weren't a lot of people. It was a speech about her change and how Ocean lost her life too soon. Many teachers came to her funeral, all talking about how she was a shining star ripped away too soon, she just agreed, numb. She hoped Ocean liked it.
Penny saw that Noel's mom was like a stone with barely visible cracks in them. They both shopped for roses, both just quietly looking at the rows of flowers. During it, Noel's mom just broke down, crying. Penny didn't know what to do. She wondered what would Noel say if he was here, he always seemed repressed in some way when she compared him to what she saw in the afterlife. He was truly in his element during his number, a different kind of confidence, the kind that screams utter freedom. So she wrote down his song in the afterlife. Noel's mom quietly told her if they could just do this for another day. Penny agreed.
Penny wondered if her being revived was the right thing to do.
A few days later, Noel's mom called her to ask about Noel's song. Penny told her about as much as she could have.
While they hadn't been able to take away the Taco Bell bar, she had been able to at least change the music in Noel's funeral. She didn't know a lot about Noel's interest besides what he showed in the afterlife so she decided to go with what she knows. She suggested that the music be from The Blue Angel's soundtrack. They picked the iconic song Ich bin von Kopf bis Fuß auf Liebe eingestellt, the husky voice played through the halls of the venue. There was a surprising amount of people who attended the funeral, most of which were Noel's coworkers.
She hoped Noel liked it.
Mischa's was the hardest from all of them, coupled with the fact that his adoptive family did not know him enough to plan a funeral and also that they were stingy in spending money when it came to him. She had been able to at least shame them into using Ukrainian funeral traditions. Some furious googling later, she was able to list some that she found. They only allowed the bowl of water. It was a hard fight and she couldn't really squeeze anymore effort than that.
Tammy, Ezra and her were the only ones at the funeral.
She brought a couple of sunflowers. She hoped Mischa liked it.
Thankfully Ricky's was so much more easier. His parents were so bittersweetly enthusiastic when they heard that they were friends, which technicalities aside, he was the first friend she made in the afterlife (did the rest count as friends or was it soon for that? She hoped it wasn't). They went shopping for cat and space designs (she was thankful to have picked up sign back in Elysium). Inspired by their cats, she pasted cat facts, all of which were based on all the diffetent cats Ricky's family had, on some fancy framed cardboard (courtesy of Ricky's parents) to hang up.
She told his parents about her talk with Ricky (mostly the part about Savannah). She wanted to have the name as a sort of nickname, and while Ricky already gave his blessing, she wanted his parents to know of it too. She would always remember their teary eyes as they signed "Yes" to her, they cried that noon as was regaled with stories of Ricky's childhood. She was surrounded by all 14 cats during the funeral, Ezra was holding her hand.
She hoped that Ricky liked it.
Lastly but certainly not the least, Constance. Her parents were... devastated, her little brother meanwhile was just waiting for Constance to go home. At least Ricky's parents were cheered up by the prospect that Ricky made a friend before he passed but Constance was already well liked, even if that like was shallow. She was completely out of her element, just like with Noel's mom. So she decided to tell them about Constance's growth, she told them about the sugar clouds and Ocean's apology. Both parents excused themselves, Constance's mom going upstairs, tears falling down her face while Constance's father went to their backyard and let out a guttural scream. Penny flinched and she wondered if she should leave. Looks like she may have said the wrong thing this time.
As she was tried to leave, she caught something in the corner of her eye. It was Constance's little brother was listening from the kitchen. When he was caught, he tearfully asked when Constance was gonna come home.
She just hugged him.
Soon after Constance's parents came home, they were all crying as they settled on the plan. The funeral had little silver clouds, like storm clouds. They were vanilla and strawberry cupcakes, Constance's favorite. This was the most crowded funeral out of all her choir mates, she couldn't stay for long because of how overwhelming it is.
She hoped Constance liked it.
While she feels that her effort was somewhat shallow, she hoped with all her heart that they liked it. It was all she could do.
Or was it...?
So there she was on their graves, nervously holding a cupcake and some party hats. They would never get older ever again so they deserved a birthday party. She wasn't sure if she could visit again, there was just so many bad memories... Still she wanted to give them one last gift before the next step. (She still had no idea what step that would be) But still this was a step, whether fowards or backwards she didn't know. She takes a deep breath. Her voice had already recovered a couple weeks before, thankfully. Though she still mostly used the pad, she didn't want to strain her throat too much, and yet here she is doing just that.
One two three four
She starts, her voice was still somewhat harsh from the injuries.
This is the new song we sing for brithdays
She feels tears trickle her eyes, her throat was like on fire.
Bouncy and merry
It was so unfair, it was just so unfair
And not quite as scary
"I'd gladly take my 17 years over nothing."
The new birthday song
Her choir mates are dead now, so are other people, and so will everyone eventually. And maybe, Penny thought, maybe that was okay. She clung to their last choir song like honey. She sang their last song until it was well into the afternoon.
I know this dream is never ending it goes around, around and round again