Work Text:
With the war of the fire
My heart moves to its feet
Like the ashes of ash
I saw eyes in the heat
Feel it soft and as pure as snow
Fell in love with the fire long ago
—
Lan Wangji sat on his bed, staring numbly at the same crack in the wall as he did every day for he wasn’t sure how long. His wrist chafed from the tightness of the metal cuff wrapped around it, but he tried his best to ignore it. He was chained to the wall anyway. There wasn’t much he could do to alleviate the pain.
His stomach grumbled and he sighed. He tried to ignore that as well. He would not be given food until the evening after everyone else had eaten. Or, perhaps he would be brought to the feast and made to sit at Wen Ruohan’s feet like usual. Worst case, they forgot to feed him at all, and then he would be left to guess when the pain in his stomach would ease.
Lan Wangji’s life hadn’t always been like this. He had been a well respected cultivator once, the best of his generation. That was until the Wen’s attacked his home, and he was taken as a war prize for their sect leader. Since then, he had been made to wear sheer robes and an excess of jewels to be paraded around at banquets and subjected to humiliation by the soldiers.
He had been defiant at first, lashing out at anyone who touched him, spitting in the face of the guards that watched over his cell. That would get him beat, yellow and purple bruises blooming everywhere but his face as, according to Wen Ruohan, it was his best asset. His body ached but his spirit stayed strong, believing that someone would come for him. He’d be subjected to threats of deplorable acts by the Wens, made to feel like nothing more than a whore for their pleasure. He’d watch as they’d dangle his cultivation tools in front of him, just within reach but never in his grasp. He tried to hold out, to not give in, but a man could only take so much. Eventually, the fire within him died, and there was nothing left but an empty shell of the man he once was. He felt numb lifeless, no longer hopeful that he would one day be rescued. He couldn’t keep waiting for something that was never coming.
He wished they had killed him when they attacked the Cloud Recesses. At least then he could die with dignity. But what dignity did he have left after his time being kept prisoner by the Wens? They touched him without his permission, called him all kinds of demeaning names, laughed in his face like he wasn’t still capable of cutting them all down if they just let him rest and actually fed him.
His dark thoughts began to consume him, as they did every day. He had nothing else to distract himself with afterall. He used to meditate, but that peace was often interrupted by flashes of his home burning, or by the terrible ache in his body after days of abuse. So he gave up and allowed the thoughts to swallow him whole, welcoming them like an old friend. What more did he have to live for anyways?
That was until he heard a commotion outside. That wasn’t anything new. There was usually a commotion outside. Sometimes it was the guards joking or rough housing, sometimes it was Wen Ruohan disciplining someone, and sometimes it was the screams of another prisoner being subjected to much worse than Lan Wangji was granted.
But this commotion seemed different the more he listened. There was shouting, but there was also the sound of swords clashing, and he swore he could hear a flute. Why was there a flute? He pushed that thought to the side in the meantime and listened to the sounds coming from outside his room. Could it be? Had the sects united to defeat the Wens? Would he be freed?
There was grunting outside his door, startling Lan Wangji and causing him to stand. His legs wobbled from a lack of strength and use. He looked around the room, attempting to find something to defend himself with just in case whoever walked through his door wasn’t friendly. He grabbed a pin meant for his hair. Sure, it wasn’t much, and it certainly wouldn’t kill someone, but if he hit someone in the right spot, it would definitely hurt. The door creaked open, and he prepared himself for a fight, but he paused when two cultivators in white robes rushed into his room.
“Hanguang-Jun!” they exclaimed in disbelief, probably at the prospect that he was still alive.
Lan Wangji practically collapsed in relief. He dropped the pin in his hand. They were rescuing him. He could leave his room and taste freedom again. He could go home. Finally, this nightmare is over, he thought.
How wrong he was.
—
Lan Wangji bitterly sipped his tea as he listened to the sects argue over what to do with him. According to the sects, he had been with the Wens for far too long, and there was fear over his loyalties. As if he could ever be loyal to the Wens.
He had barely gotten any rest since his rescue. He had been taken to a Lan doctor, who helped him regain some of his strength and get him in better health. When he was finally able to be released, he was reunited with his brother. His brother wept for the first time since they were children. He clutched onto Lan Wangji so tightly that his fingers left bruises. Lan Wangji didn’t care though. He was just happy to see his brother alive and well. He hadn’t been certain of his fate after being taken as prisoner.
However, whatever joy they felt was short-lived. He was ordered to stay in quarters separate from his brother and clan and was guarded at all times. Even when his brother did come to see him, he was monitored. He wasn’t sure why until today.
His brother tried his hardest to advocate for him to the rest of the sects, but no one would listen. Lan Wangji couldn’t believe how much the people he considered his peers had changed, and how little they trusted one another. But he supposed war did that to people. It seemed that his days of being a warprize were far from over.
“We can send him to the labor camps along with the Wen cultivators,” one of the leaders suggested.
“Absolutely not,” Lan Xichen hissed, his usual cheery demeanor disappearing entirely. It was a side of his brother that he often didn’t see. Usually, Lan Wangji was the serious, angry sibling, where Lan Xichen was jovial and all smiles. Perhaps that was the wars doing as well.
“He was a part of the Lan Clan,” Jin Gungyao reminded the other cultivators. “We cannot throw him into a labor camp without proof of treachery, as was conditioned by the Nie clan.”
“Marriage?”
A disapproving murmur arose from the crowd. No one wanted to marry used goods. Except, Lan Wangji was never forced to pleasure anyone. Wen Ruohan had ordered that no one touch him, perhaps thinking to use his virginity as a bargaining tactic for the future. That didn’t stop the occasional soldier from groping him now and then, but he never laid with anyone from the Wen sect. Lan Wangji was still as pure as freshly fallen snow. He didn’t object to everyone’s assumptions though, as he didn’t wish to marry.
“He is already a warprize, why not keep him as such?” Jin Guangshan suggested. “That way, his fate is not left up to the clans, but to whoever claims him.”
The crowd all agreed with their new Chief Cultivator. Lan Wangji looked at the man, absolutely furious, and saw a glimmer of lust in his stare. He shivered. He knew that look. He had seen it in Wen Ruohan’s eyes on several occasions. It felt like deja vu, like an endless nightmare he was cursed to live through over and over again even as the characters changed. He couldn’t believe it. How stupid he had been to hope for freedom when Jin Guangshan was now in charge.
“This is ridiculous!” Lan Xichen exclaimed, which caused everyone to startle. “He’s a part of the Lan Clan, and you have no right to decide what happens to him!”
“He was Lan Xichen. But not anymore.”
An argument broke out amongst the crowd. Lan Wangji felt his chest tighten with every second that passed. He began to lament ever leaving that room. It seemed that he had traded one gilded cage for another. The darkness attempted to swallow him again, but this time, he refused to be helpless. He may not be able to change the clan's minds, but he can sure as hell make it difficult for them.
“I accept your terms,” Lan Wangji said in a raised voice, silencing the room, “but I have one of my own.”
“I’m listening,” Jin Guangshan replied, intrigued.
“Whoever claims me must defeat me in a duel first. Only then will I go with them.”
After much more debate, everyone agreed.
So, on the last day of the post-war celebrations, Lan Wangji was brought to the courtyard dressed in his finest silks and the purest of jade (courtesy of the Jins). Jin Guangshan wanted him to look appealing and presentable in order to get people to participate in the competition. He had reluctantly agreed to his request.
Lan Xichen met him as he made his way to the center of the courtyard and handed him Bichen. Lan Wangji nearly wept at the feeling of having his sword in his hands once more.
“We managed to find it in the armory,” Lan Xichen said with a smile, understanding how important it was for his brother to be carrying his sword again. “I tried to get them to return all of your belongings to you, but they only allowed the sword. I wasn’t able to give you your headband back.”
It didn’t matter to him. He hadn’t worn it in so long. The Wen’s had taken it away the second he had gotten to the prison, no matter how hard he kicked and screamed. It became normal for him to go about his business without the feeling of the soft cloth. “With or without my headband, I will always be a Lan.”
Lan Xichen gave him a watery smile. “Fight well, brother. Don’t let them win so easily.”
“I won’t,” he reassured.
He took his place in the center of the courtyard and waited for the first contestant. Lan Xichen had given him a rundown on who had planned to participate. According to his brother, there were several reasons as to why people were entering the competition. Some wanted him for his beauty. Some wanted him as a punching bag on which to take out their frustrations over the war. Some wanted him for more…sinister things.
Whatever their reason was though, Lan Wangji did not care. He didn’t plan on letting anyone win. Jin Guangshan gave a long winded speech about the reasoning behind the competition, despite most being present during the meeting the competition was proposed during. Lan Wangji wondered if Jin Guangshan ever got tired of hearing himself talk. He also wondered where someone like him had gotten such an inflated ego. His feet began to ache from standing still, and he worried that this was all just a tactic to wear Lan Wangji out before the competition even began.
However, the speech came to an end, and the first man stepped out into the courtyard across from Lan Wangji, starting the competition. Lan Wangji was a bit rusty. The sword felt much heavier in his hand now, and he wasn’t as quit on his feet as he used to be, but his skills were far superior to anyone there. He finished off the first man in a matter of seconds. The man was dressed as a soldier, but was far from it physically. Lan Wangji wondered how he had survived the war.
As the man scurried away, he surveyed the courtyard. A look of nervousness crossed the attendees' faces. Clearly they had been expecting this to be an easy fight.
Lan Wangji couldn’t help it as his lips turned up slightly. For the first time in a long time, he felt powerful, despite his situation, and he wanted everyone to know it. “Did you forget who I am?” he addressed the crowd.
That struck a chord with several cultivators. The next competitor barged towards him, letting his wounded ego fuel his attacks. He too was easy to take down. The next was a bit harder. He was agile, more skilled, but he was slower than Lan Wangji, so he was also defeated. Another took his place, and then another and another. One by one, he struck them down, pushing through his fatigue and fighting with all his might. He wouldn’t lose. He couldn’t lose. It was his life, and he wanted to be in control of it again. This could be his last chance at freedom. There was no telling what would happen should he lose, and he wasn’t sure he’d make it out alive this time.
As he finished off a Nie cultivator, he looked around the crowd, his gaze intense, as if to say who’s next. He tried his hardest to hide how his chest heaved from the exertion of fighting. His body felt heavy and his arms burned, but he refused to give in. There was a heavy pause as no one stepped forward, and for a second, Lan Wangji thought there wouldn’t be a victor and he’d be allowed to go home.
But then, a man in dark robes approached him. Lan Wangji’s heart leapt to his throat and his eyes widened. Despite being kept chained in a room for years, he knew who this man was. He had heard stories from terrified Wen soldiers about a man that carried nothing but a flute and was accompanied by misery and death. He had thought he’d one day like to meet the man that made his captors tremble with fear. He never expected that man to be an old friend and his childhood crush: Wei Wuxian.
Lan Wangji looked at the man’s waist. He carried no sword, yet the man stood there, waiting for him to make the first move.
“Where is Subian?” he asked. That was not the first thing he wanted to say once he was able to reunite with Wei Wuxian. He wanted to apologize for how he treated him and possibly express how he truly felt. But seeing what the man had become, his heart quivered and his mind went blank.
Wei Wuxian let out a harsh laugh, more mocking and less humorous. “Don’t worry about it. Now, come on.”
Lan Wangji hesitated for a second. He didn’t want to hurt Wei Ying. As much as he had annoyed him during his time in the Cloud Recesses, that was the last thing he wanted. But his freedom was on the line, so he lunged forward. Wei Wuxian dodged him easily, perhaps the only one who could match his skill. He used to thrive on the challenge of dueling with Wei Wuxian, but now he wished they weren’t so evenly matched. He wanted to be done with this nonsense.
They continued on like that, with Lan Wangji on the offensive, and Wei Wuxian on the defensive. He felt himself grow more annoyed with each dodge. He was hit by a sudden wave of nostalgia, remembering the first time he had fought with the boy on the roof. He hadn’t carried a sword then either, just a bottle of Emperor’s Smile. The ease in which he had dodged Lan Wangji’s attacks frustrated him back then as well. The memory was bittersweet now. They were no longer boys disagreeing about the rules of his home. They were men who had very clearly been affected by a war that had changed their lives in different ways.
The longer they fought, the more Lan Wangji’s muscles ached. His body was screaming at him to stop and rest. Afterall, he hadn’t carried his sword for so long. He was definitely overexerting himself.
Perhaps, he thought, it wouldn’t be so bad to be Wei Wuxian’s prize. Afterall, they already knew each other. Despite how he had changed, perhaps Wei Wuxian would be kind, as it was in his nature.
Lan Wangji pushed the thought away. No, he couldn’t give up now. This was his freedom he was gambling with. He lunged again, but this time, Wei Wuxian caught his wrist and maneuvered them so his chest was to Lan Wangji’s back. He stood frozen for a second, trying to move his arm, but it was no use. He was exhausted, and Wei Wuxian’s grip was tight enough to bruise.
“Let go,” Wei Wuxian whispered into his ear.
Lan Wangji shivered and dropped his sword.
Murmurs rose through the crowd. Jin Guangshan announced Wei Wuxian as the winner of the warprize Lan Wangji, perhaps somewhat bitterly. Lan Wangji saw his brother’s face fall at the announcement. He felt bad for letting his brother down, for not fighting hard enough, but it was too late now.
Lan Wangji looked at Wei Wuxian. The man’s face was carefully blank. Lan Wangji was reminded again that while he recognized Wei Wuxian, he didn’t know this version of him. He looked at his dark, loose clothes, and his loose hair. He looked at the flute he clutched in his hand instead of his ridiculously named sword. He thought of the rumors the Wen cultivators would discuss outside his prison door. They had called him a monster, a demon, and Lan Wangji had to admit, he certainly fit the description.
But if he was truly so heartless and evil now, why would he enter the competition? Why would he fight for Lan Wangji to become his?
Wei Wuxian nodded at him before strutting away lazily without another word. Lan Wangji couldn’t help feeling regret. Perhaps this was a mistake.
–
When the celebrations were completed, Lan Wangji hugged his brother one last time.
“To hell with the cultivation world,” Lan Xichen said lowly into his ear as they hugged. “If he does something to you, if you’re not safe, send for me. I will come get you.”
“That would cause more trouble than it’s worth,” Lan Wangji replied just as quietly.
Lan Xichen pulled them apart and placed his hands on Lan Wangji’s shoulders. “You're my brother. You're worth all the trouble in the world.”
Lan Wangji felt tears well in his eyes, but he refused to let himself cry. He had to be strong right now for his brother’s sake. They parted and Lan Wangji followed the Jiang disciples back to Lotus Pier.
Wei Wuxian didn’t have his sword, which Jiang Cheng scolded him for, so he rode with Lan Wangji on Bichen. Lan Wangji stood tensely on his sword as hands loosely grasped his waist. The pair said nothing the entire journey, which only caused Lan Wangji’s anxiety to spiral further. He had no idea what to expect when they landed.
As the wind whipped past him, he couldn’t help but let his mind wander. What would his life be like at Lotus Pier? How would he be treated by the Jiang’s? Would he be seen as a friend or a foe? Would he be welcomed or shunned?
He wanted to believe that Wei Wuxian would treat him well and not subject him to the same treatment he received under the Wens, but how could he be sure? He knew so little about the effects the war had on everyone, especially Wei Wuxian. A younger him would probably be climbing all over Lan Wangji right now, and teasing him incessantly. But the man standing behind him was eerily silent and could barely stand to touch him when not in combat. As they saw their destination in the distance, Lan Wangji felt dread settle over him.
Lotus Pier was as silent as the grave when they landed. There were voices in the distance, but nothing could be heard within the walls. Lan Wangji looked to Wei Wuxian to gauge his reaction, but the man didn’t seem surprised by what was in front of him. He followed behind Wei Wuxian as they made their way to the great hall. As he looked around, he realized how little of it still stood. The only buildings left intact were the residences the Wens resided in during their occupation. The rest of it was burned to a crisp. What had once been a happy place was now dark and depressing. Lan Wangji couldn’t help but shiver. He wasn’t afraid of facing spirits or demons, but this place felt haunted in a different way. What had happened to make it look this way?
“A-Cheng, A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli called from the doorway of the great hall. The brothers rushed to their sister's side, pulling her into a hug.
“Shijie, what are you doing here?” Wei Wuxian asked.
“I received word that you were returning home, so I had someone escort me from Lanling.” Her eyes then landed on Lan Wangji. They widened in surprise for a moment, before she smiled kindly and greeted him. “Lan-gongzi,” she said with a slight bow.
Lan Wangji paused at that. It had been such a long time since anyone had addressed him in such a respectful way. “Mistress Jiang,” he responded with a bow of his own.
“I hadn’t realized you’d be joining us. But not to worry! I’ve made enough food for everyone. A-Xian has quite a big appetite after all.”
“Shijie!” Wei Wuxian hissed, his cheeks flushing red. She giggled and went inside, Jiang Cheng following closely behind, but not before giving Lan Wangji a skeptical look. Wei Wuxian held out a hand for Lan Wangji. “Come on.”
He looked at it, unsure of what to do. Lan Wangji felt a headache coming on. He was an analytical man by nature, but he hated how much he was analyzing every little thing Wei Wuxian did. He sighed, took the calloused hand in his and strode into the great hall. For now, it would be best to play along with what Wei Wuxian wanted until he could get a better understanding of the situation he was in now.
The group sat at a series of tables on the floor. The large, wooden lotus chair sat empty and was slightly charred, an ominous reminder of the cost of war. He couldn’t help but stare at it, but he seemed to be the only one haunted by its presence. The siblings ignored its existence, whether out of grief or denial he was unsure. Lan Wangji couldn’t help but feel that he had been lucky to not have experienced the war and its cost first hand.
Jiang Yanli began to pass around the food. Many of the dishes contained meat, but Lan Wangji didn’t mention anything. He no longer had the luxury of following a specific diet. When he was captured by the Wen’s, his options were to disobey his sect’s rules and eat what was given to him, or starve. It was another cruel tactic on their part to humiliate him, but when it became clear he wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon, he gave in.
It seemed this time though that Lan Wangji didn’t need to say anything, as Wei Wuxian picked the meat out of his dishes and passed it onto his plate. In return, he gave Lan Zhan all the vegetables he didn’t like.
“A-Xian, you need to eat your vegetables!” Jiang Yanli scolded, pulling him out of his thoughts.
“But jiejie, you know I don’t like them! Besides, Lan Zhan likes them. Right, Lan Zhan?”
The smile Wei Wuxian gave him was familiar. It was the first glimpse of the Wei Wuxian he once knew since they had reunited. He was once again the kind boy who was looking out for others without them needing to ask. Lan Wangji felt his ears heat. “Mn,” he replied.
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes at his brother’s antics. “What will you do with him then?” he asked.
Lan Wangji flinched at the man’s words. He felt the familiar sting of humiliation he had felt nearly every day he spent under the Wens. He had to remind himself of his new place in the world. He was not the same as the Jiang siblings. They were cultivators, he was merely a warprize. No matter how much power and control he felt while fighting, it was merely an illusion. He had neither. He looked down at the plate of food in front of him, trying not to let his shame and disappointment show.
Wei Wuxian somehow knew how he was feeling though without him saying anything. “Lan Zhan will be staying in my room,” Wei Wuxian responded in a serious tone.
That got him a glare from his brother in response. "He was with the Wens for years, Wei Wuxian. What makes you think he won't turn on us?"
"Lan Zhan would never do that," Wei Wuxian said with conviction. "He's more righteous than all of us.”
Lan Wangji looked up at him. He had thought that Wei Wuxian would be panicking too just as he was. Afterall, it didn’t seem like the man had a plan for him unlike the other cultivators that joined the competition. Yet here he was, having no doubt in who Lan Wangji was, warprize or not. Lan Wangji felt himself swooning like a maiden.
“Enough boys,” Jiang Yanli interrupted, letting out a weary sigh. It seemed this arguing wasn’t out of the ordinary. “It’s been a tiring day. Let’s get some sleep.”
They excused themselves from the table and Lan Wangji followed Wei Wuxian through Lotus Pier. They passed a few disciples and servants on their way, who looked at Lan Wangji with awe and suspicion. He was sure he stood out, in his elegant robes and jewels amongst the charred remains of Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian had joked that the conservative way the Lan Clan dressed was as if they were reminding mere mortals that they were gods amongst men and didn’t need flashy things to still be beautiful. But that was not how he presented now. Now, he was a trophy, and trophies were shiny and pretty, just as he had to be.
Murmurs rose through the air as the sect members looked between the pair, and Lan Wangji could only guess what they were discussing. He turned his gaze towards the ground and slowed his pace, trying to keep as much distance from Wei Wuxian as possible, not wanting to taint his reputation anymore than he already had. Despite having spent so long as a war prize, he was having a hard time reminding himself of how to act like one.
Wei Wuxian took notice of the noise surrounding them. He sent glares at his fellow sect members, causing them to scurry away. He looked back and saw Lan Wangji trailing behind him. He slowed his pace until he was walking next to Lan Wangji. “You don’t have to walk behind me, you know.”
Lan Wangji looked up in shock, fumbling for what to say. “I apologize. It’s become a habit.”
Wei Wuxian gave him a soft, sympathetic look. Lan Wangji both felt frustrated and comforted by said look. “I’m sorry you went through that, Lan Zhan. I promise you won’t be treated like that again.”
Lan Wangji wanted to scream and ask how Wei Wuxian would be treating him then. While he hoped Wei Wuxian would be true to his word and treat him kindly, one could never be too sure anymore. Afterall, it was only days ago that the cultivation world, men and women he considered his peers and allies, had sought to send him off with the highest bidder. He wasn’t sure who to trust anymore, not even Wei Wuxian, who he once thought the most noble of them all. But what was noble in the wake of a war?
They continued walking, this time side by side before arriving at a room towards the end of the pier. Lan Wangji took note of that. He knew Madam Yu was not happy that Wei Wuxian was her ward, and she clearly reminded him of it in any way she could, including giving him a room far away from the rest of the family. While it pained him to know what Wei Wuxian went through, Madam Yu was dead now, and it did not do him well to speak ill of the dead.
The room was nothing extravagant, and it was a bit small, yet it felt homey, the perfect room for someone like Wei Wuxian. It had clearly been cleared out, with no traces of any personal items, but there was a familiar energy about it that left Lan Wangji feeling a bit more at ease, as if he were somewhere comfortable.
“This was my room growing up,” Wei Wuxian explained. “There’s only one bed though, so we’re going to have to share. I hope that’s alright.”
Lan Wangji hesitated. A younger version of himself would be too proud and scandalized to share a bed with another man, especially Wei Wuxian. Yet a part of him wanted nothing more than to share a space with the man and chase that childish dream, if only to feel young and naive again. But the cards he’d been dealt in life had taught him something else entirely, to not trust and hope. He felt another headache coming at all the conflicting scenarios bouncing around in his head.
He must have hesitated for too long, as Wei Wuxian suggested, “Or I can sleep on the floor. Whatever makes you most comfortable.”
“It’s your room, Wei Ying. I can take the floor.”
“No, I won’t allow it! You’re my guest.”
Is that what he was? Lan Wangji sighed. This was stupid. His headache was getting worse, and his dignity had been chipped away too much over the years for him to be this indecisive. At this point, he was grateful for a comfortable bed and a simple room without any shackles.
“We can sleep in the bed,” he said finally.
He didn’t wait for an answer and instead moved behind the privacy screen to get ready for bed. He began working at taking off the decorative jewelry and robes, stripping until he was in his inner robe. He heard rustling on the other side and assumed Wei Wuxian was doing the same. After he was done, he moved to sit on the bed, waiting for his companion.
He noticed a carving in the wood of the headboard. It appeared to be two people kissing. He traced the carving gently with his fingers. It seemed so sweet and innocent, nothing like the young, brash kid he once knew. Was this what Wei Wuxian wanted? While it’s true that Wei Wuxian had changed, and he was no longer the bright, smiling boy that caused mischief wherever he went, his actions still seemed kind and just. Maybe he just wanted a companion. Maybe he too was trying to find a piece of himself from before the war.
He felt the bed shift as Wei Wuxian crawled into bed next to him before flicking out the candles. Lan Wangji laid down. Silence filled the room. He could hear the water gently crashing against the pier outside. It was soothing, probably the most at peace Lan Wangji felt in a long time, yet he could not sleep.
“Wei Ying?” he said softly.
“Yeah?” he replied. Clearly he wasn’t able to sleep either.
“Why did you fight for me?”
Wei Wuxian was silent for a minute. Lan Wangji began to fear he had overstepped. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked. Maybe Wei Wuxian didn’t know. His thoughts were interrupted when the man said, “They wouldn’t be kind to you, Lan Zhan. They all had an ulterior motive.”
“And you don’t?” Lan Wangji did not easily trust, even as a child, but since his time in captivity, he trusted practically no one. Everyone had an agenda. The Wens wanted him as a pawn and a toy to feed their ego. The sects wanted him to be a reminder. His brother wanted him to be the same man that was taken from the Cloud Recesses so long ago. And Wei Wuxian…
His companion chuckled, but there was no humor behind it. “I guess you could say I do.”
Lan Wangji felt his body tense and his heart race. “What is it then?”
He could hear the man smile as he said, “Now where’s the fun in you knowing?”
“The ‘fun’ is knowing if I’m going to be beaten or my body used against my will,” Lan Wangji retorted, somewhat bitterly.
Wei Wuxian sat up and looked at him. “Lan Zhan, did they-”
“No,” he cut in. He didn’t want to talk about his time with the Wens. Not now. Silence fell over the pair and Wei Wuxian laid down once again. “You didn’t answer my question.”
He prepared himself for the worst. Would he be asked to offer his body? Would he be forced to do hard labor? Would he be used as a symbol for the atrocities the Wen’s inflicted on Lotus Pier and be beaten for their crimes? His mind raced with all the different sadistic ways one could use a person for.
No matter what his mind conjured up though, nothing prepared for what was said next. “I want company, so I don’t feel…lonely.”
Lan Wangji was confused. Lonely? Why would the most sociable man he had ever met be lonely? “You aren’t alone, Wei Ying. You have your siblings.” That was more than others had thanks to the war.
“Yes, but they’ll expect me to be the same, but I’m not the same,” Wei Wuxian replied, exasperated. “The war…changed me, Lan Zhan, in ways I can’t say.” Lan Wangji tried to cut in, but Wei Wuxian raised a hand to stop him. “You have your secrets and I have mine. Besides, you never liked the old me, so maybe you’ll be happy with who I am now.”
Lan Wangji felt Wei Wuxian was being petty because he had refused to share his story, but he dropped it. How had Wei Wuxian changed, and why could he not say? Was it because of the fall of Lotus Pier? Did it have something to do with why he didn’t carry his sword?
Or, did he take every rebuttal Lan Wangji had thrown at him during their youth to heart? The thought made his heart ache. He had been cruel to the boy, and for no real reason other than his shyness and attachment to his sect's rules. While he stands by some of it, he could have treated the boy more kindly. He was, after all, just trying to be his friend.
Despite all the unanswered questions, he felt himself settle some at knowing Wei Wuxian’s intentions with him. He could be there for Wei Wuxian, a pillar for him to lean on and seek support. After all, he had gotten good at being submissive and being at one's beck and call during his imprisonment with the Wen’s. Only this time, he had a desire to do so. He wanted to help this man in any way he could, and make up for the mistakes of his past.
“Anyways, let’s get some sleep,” Wei Wuxian said with a yawn. “We’ll talk more tomorrow.”
Lan Wangji said nothing more, allowing the other to drift off. He laid in bed for a long while, contemplating Wei Wuxian’s words.
“Never disliked you, Wei Ying,” he whispered to his sleeping companion.
He closed his eyes and tried to rest.
–
Lan Wangji settled into Lotus Pier quicker than he expected to. Jiang Cheng refused to let him sit idle, putting him to work with the rest of the sect rebuilding Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian had protested, but Lan Wangji didn’t mind. It felt good to wear simple robes, get dirt under his nails, sweat under the blistering sun, feel calluses build on his hands again.
After a night of talking to a restless Wei Wuxian, he began to reacquaint himself with cultivation. He had lamented how far behind he had fallen in his skills, and how weak his core had become. He thought himself a shadow of the cultivator he once was, but Wei Wuxian disagreed.
“You’re still in there, Lan Zhan. You just need practice.”
So he joined lessons with the juniors, working on simple sword forms and building his strength. Perhaps his younger self’s pride would be hurt by this fact, but he was just happy to hold Bichen in his hands once more, to feel his arms burn from exertion and his core grow stronger with each passing day.
When he wasn’t helping to rebuild his new home or practicing cultivation, he spent his time with Wei Wuxian, doing whatever the man wanted. He would allow himself to be dressed in beautiful jewels and the finest of silks and lace before walking arm and arm through town. Lan Wangji didn’t care much for the clothes, and Wei Wuxian never pushed him to wear them, but once he saw Wei Wuxian’s beaming smile after putting on the robes, all the fuss felt worth it. Wei Wuxian would proudly show him off to anyone and everyone, gloating about his beauty and intelligence, causing him to blush. He wasn’t sure if the man was teasing or if he genuinely meant what he was saying. If he was anything like the old Wei Wuxian, he was definitely teasing. Still, it felt nice to be treated like someone to be treasured instead of a treasure to be hoarded.
When they returned home, Wei Wuxian would always present him with a small gift he had picked up at the market while Lan Wangji wasn’t looking, a “token of his affection” as he called it. When Lan Wangji would glare at his words, Wei Wuxian would laugh and tell him that he had so little possessions, and he wanted Lan Wangji to feel at home and as normal as possible. Lan Wangji would begrudgingly take them from Wei Wuxian, but secretly, he kept all of them safely stored in a box, appreciating each gift he was given. His favorites were the wooden bunny and the rattle drum. Lan Wangji had no idea why Wei Wuxian had bought him a rattle drum, but he looked so innocent and youthful while he played with it, and for that memory alone, Lan Wangji treasured it.
When Wei Wuxian didn’t feel like going out, they would lounge around the pier. Sometimes Lan Wangji would sit on the shore, some citrus laying next to him and a fan in one hand to combat the heat he had yet to get used to, and watch as Wei Wuxian played in the water with his juniors. Sometimes, they would sit and have tea, watching the sunset as Wei Wuxian would feed him morsels of delicacies they had picked up from the market. It was Wei Wuxian’s sole mission to have Lan Wangji try every food Yungmeng had to offer and give him a review on each.
It was on one such evening that Lan Wangji finally divulged what he had gone through while being kept prisoner with the Wens. Wei Wuxian had let the subject drop, but Jiang Yanli had encouraged him to talk about what happened.
“It’s like a wound,” she explained while they prepared a meal together, “if you ignore it and do not treat it, it will fester and hurt worse than it did before. But, if you acknowledge its presence and try to treat it, you’ll feel better for it, and over time, it will heal.”
He appreciated her advice and wisdom. Despite all she had been through, she was still kind, and brought out the best in people. She never once referred to Lan Wangji as a warprize, only as a cultivator and friend of Wei Wuxian. He now understood why Wei Wuxian referred to her as the best girl in the world.
“You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Wei Wuxian said kindly, interrupting his thoughts.
“No, it’s better if I do.” He took a sip of tea before steadying his breathing. Then, he spoke. “The battle at the Cloud Recesses had been chaotic. We had no warning of the Wens attack, and we were caught off guard. I lost Xichen-ge and Shufu in the scuffle. I don’t remember much of the fight. I just remember being the last line of defense for the library.”
“Of course you’d protect the library,” Wei Wuxian commented with a small smile. Lan Wangji could tell that the man wasn’t teasing him but reminiscing on all the time they spent there together. Lan Wangji didn’t have the courage to tell him that those moments spent together was the reason why he tried so hard to protect it.
“I didn’t want it to burn down with the rest of the Cloud Recesses. There were too many important texts that I didn’t want us to lose. But it didn’t matter in the end. Wen Chao broke my leg and they burned it down right in front of me.”
“I’m sorry,” Wei Wuxian said sadly.
Lan Wangji shrugged and continued. “I was sure they were going to kill me after that, but they ended up taking me back to their sect. They threw me into a room and chained my leg to the wall and left me there. I’m not sure how long they left me there. It could have been days or weeks. A doctor came to heal my leg, but besides that, I didn’t see or speak to anyone. I tried meditating and focused on healing my leg. I was hopeful that the Lan sect would come rescue me, but I had not idea if any of them were still alive.”
“That must have been scary.”
Lan Wangji was still too embarrassed to admit how terrified he actually was. “Eventually, they opened the door and made me put on revealing clothes. The next thing I knew, I was being brought to a dinner in celebration of the fall of the Lan sect, and I was the main event. Wen Ruohan made me sit at his feet as they ate and drank and cheered over the death of my clan. And that’s pretty much how I spent my time at the Wens. They’d leave me locked in a room until they felt like humiliating me, then they’d fetch me and parade me around.”
Wei Wuxian placed a comforting hand on his and Lan Wangji stared at it for a long while. Eventually, he threaded their fingers together, seeking comfort and strength from the warm, calloused hand for what he was about to admit to next.
“I was defiant at first. I refused to react to their jeers and wouldn’t obey their commands. I thought my sect would come for me. I believed in them. But the longer I sat in that room, the quicker that hope faded. I was tired and beaten, and I just gave up.”
“There’s no need to be ashamed of that Lan Zhan. The war was long, and a lot of us felt hopeless. I’m sure others would feel just as you did if they were in your situation. But many of them are not as strong as you are to be able to survive.”
Lan Wangji gave Wei Wuxian a small smile. He tried to remind himself of his triumph and not his failures, but when the ghosts of what happened haunted him in the quiet moments, it was hard to remember that.
Wei Wuxian made a face before asking his next question. “They didn’t touch you, did they?”
Lan Wangji hesitated. “If you mean they forced me to sleep with them, no, they didn’t. However, many of the soldiers were handsy, and they often led me around like a dog during celebrations so people could ogle and touch to their heart's desire. They were also allowed to come into my room and beat me from time to time, especially if I acted out. They were never allowed to touch my face though. Wen Ruohan forbade it, along with sleeping with me.”
“How come?”
“I never knew for certain, but I believe he intended to use my purity as a bargaining chip should they need it.”
“Those bastards,” Wei Wuxian growled. His hand squeezed Lan Wangi’s almost painfully, but he said nothing. “Wen Chao’s lucky I didn't raise him from the dead just to kill him again.”
“You killed him?”
Wei Wuxian hesitated before nodding. “Yes.”
“How did he die?”
Wei Wuxian stared at him, possibly debating on if he should tell Lan Wangji the truth and shield him from it. In the end, he looked at Lan Wangji and gave him a self satisfying smirk. “Horribly.”
“Good,” Lan Wangji replied.
Despite the heaviness of the conversation, Lan Wangji felt at peace as he sat holding Wei Wuxian’s hand, looking out over the lake that reflected the golden hues of the sunset. And even though Wei Wuxian still refused to share his secret, that place became theirs to say all the things that haunted them and heal their wounds bit by bit.
That discussion also opened the door for affectionate touches along with affectionate words. Wei Wuxian didn’t hesitate to take his hand as they walked through the markets. He didn’t jump away from him if he woke up with an arm around Lan Wangji’s waist. He would poke and pull and tease without hesitation, and Lan Wangji liked it. They were far more affectionate than the touches he was used too, and he had no plan of telling Wei Wuxian to stop.
A particularly fond memory Lan Wangji had during his time at Lotus Pier was the both of them out on a boat on a particularly beautiful day. Wei Wuxian had been dying to show Lan Wangji the lotuses in bloom up close and personal, but the weather had yet to permit it. Finally, they were able to go out. They reached the middle of the lake before stopping and enjoying the gentle breeze and warm sun. Lan Wangji had brought a book of poetry with him and began reading. Wei Wuxian, feeling lazy, had laid his head on Lan Wangji’s lap and asked him to read aloud. Lan Wangji did so, running his fingers through a sea of inky hair in the process. When he had finished, Wei Wuxian sat up, reached over the side of the boat, and plucked a plump lotus flower out of the water. He reached over and placed it behind Lan Wangji’s ear, a soft smile gracing his face.
“Beautiful,” Wei Wuxian whispered, almost reverently.
Lan Wangji felt his heart skip a beat and a blush dust his cheeks. When was the last time he had been treated so delicately? When was the last time he had felt so relaxed and cared for? When had he stopped feeling like he merely had to survive and could instead enjoy his life?
That evening, Lan Wangji had placed the flower into his book of poetry, vowing to never lose it. Of all the gifts Wei Wuxian had given him, he considered this the most precious.
Not everything was perfect though. There were glimpses where Lan Wangji noticed the change Wei Wuxian had alluded to that first night, cracks in his facade. He still smiled and laughed, but it was not as bright nor carefree as it once was. He avoided demonstrating drills with the juniors, and made excuses for why he wouldn’t lead nighthunts. He also avoided touch from others, as if he was afraid of it. It was one thing for Wei Wuxian to initiate touch, it was another for someone to initiate it with him. He saw how the man would flinch when his brother clasped his shoulder, or when the juniors would jump all over him. Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli seemed to be the only exception to that rule. Lan Wangji worried. The boy he knew never once strayed from the hand of another. In fact, one would say he was almost a bit too touchy. But now, he seemed to shy away from it. The only time he seemed truly settled was when he was with Lan Wangji.
His siblings also seemed to pick up on the shift in Wei Wuxian’s personality. Jiang Cheng was often on his brother’s case, asking why he was slacking in his duties, why he wasn’t using Suibian, why he was spending so much time with Lan Wangji instead of them. This would lead to several arguments that he and Jiang Yanli had to break up before someone got hurt, at least physically. The emotional hurt was a bit harder to put a stop to. Jiang Cheng would be his usual angry, yelling self, but Wei Wuxian would turn cold. It was as if he shut himself off completely, any sort of empathy or compassion washed away in an instant. It caused a chill to run down Lan Wangji’s spine every time, and it left his siblings reeling.
Jiang Cheng had cornered Lan Wangji one time and demanded answers. “This isn’t like him and you seem to be the only person he will talk to. What’s going on with him?”
But Lan Wangji didn’t have an answer. He was just as lost as the siblings and just as worried. Everyday Lan Wangji wondered if he would recognize Wei Wuxian or if he would act completely out of character. Everyday was different, no rhyme or reason to Wei Wuxian’s outbursts. But Lan Wangji had seen Wei Wuxian in the quiet moments, and he had faith that at his core, Wei Wuxian was still the same. Even if he hadn’t been so sure when arriving to Lotus Pier, time had reassured him of that.
Lan Wangji looked at the brother sadly and Jiang Cheng sighed. He didn’t need to say anything. Jiang Cheng knew he didn’t have the answers he was seeking. Lan Wangji squeezed the man’s shoulder, attempting to comfort him, before walking away. He didn’t notice how Jiang Cheng stared after him in surprise.
Whenever a fight was put to rest, Lan Wangji would follow Wei Wuxian as he stormed out. He’d listen to his angry ranting, nodding his head in acknowledgement until the man tired himself out. He’d then lead them back to their room (theirs as Wei Wuxian had not attempted to find him another) and would have Wei Wuxian rest his head on his lap. He’d comb his fingers through the man’s hair and hum a tune he’d created for him during some of his darkest days during his captivity with the Wens. During those days, he found his memories of his time with Wei Ying to be his only comfort. He hoped to be the same for Wei Wuxian now.
Wei Wuxian would slowly relax, sometimes falling asleep, and Lan Wangji would feel content knowing that he made the man he cared for feel safe. After a while, even if he and Jiang Cheng were not fighting, Wei Wuxian began to request this. Lan Wangji was more than happy to oblige.
Wei Wuxian never forced him to do anything, always giving him a choice. He used whatever money he had to treat Lan Wangji with all the finest that Yunmeng had to offer. He’d compliment Lan Wangji, calling him beautiful, cute and perfect. Over time, Lan Wangji began to feel less and less unsure of his role and place. He began to feel like the old Lan Wangji again, the one before the war. He was less submissive, more direct, and he noticed how others responded positively to that, especially Wei Wuxian.
And with each kind word and gesture from Wei Wuxian, the emotions he felt for him in his youth came flooding back. Still, he hesitated to say anything. It would have been easier, maybe, had they not come together under such circumstances. Maybe he’d be able to confess his feelings. Maybe he’d be able to make Wei Wuxian understand that his feelings are genuine, and that they weren’t because of some stupid contest with him as the prize. But life had not afforded him that luxury.
One night, after a particularly bad fight with his brother, Wei Wuxian would not allow himself to be taken to their room. Instead, he went into town and stayed out for a long time. Lan Wangji tried to fall asleep, sure that the man would return by the morning, but he was unable to do so. Apparently he had gotten used to sleeping with Wei Wuxian by his side. When that had happened, he was unsure. He sighed and sat up, grabbing a book said elusive man had bought for him and resigning himself to reading until his return.
He didn’t have to wait long. The door slammed open, startling Lan Wangji, and a dark figure stumbled in, a jar of alcohol hanging loosely in his hands.
Lan Wangji stared in shock. He had never seen Wei Wuxian so drunk. In fact, he had been certain it was impossible for Wei Wuxian to get drunk if what he witnessed in their youth was anything to go by. He threw back the covers and rushed to Wei Wuxian’s side, grabbing the man by the arm as he stumbled forward.
“Wei Ying, what happened?”
“I drank,” he hiccuped before falling into the bed with the grace of a newly born animal.
“Obviously,” Lan Wangji retorted. He wasn’t well adept at handling drunks. He had only had to do it for his brother once, and that had been a complete nightmare. It wasn’t easy trying to deal with a grown, stumbling man who wanted nothing more than to play his flute in the early hours of the morning right outside their Uncle’s quarters. Still, he put whatever skills he learned during the experience to good use as he sat next to Wei Wuxian and tried to get him in a more comfortable position. “How did you become drunk? Are you sick? Is your core not helping you to expel it?”
“Noooooope.”
“Why?”
“Because I don’t have a core.”
Lan Wangji stilled, all previous annoyance with the man disappearing in an instant. His eyes went wide and his heart sank to his stomach. He had no words. How was someone supposed to respond to such a revelation? Was this the big secret that Wei Wuxian had been hiding? Wei Wuxian said nothing for a while, staring blankly at the ceiling, hiccups interrupting the quiet every now and then. Lan Wangji wasn’t sure if he wanted to press the man for answers or let it be and pretend he never heard such a life-altering revelation.
Eventually, Wei Wuxian began to tell Lan Wangji his story. It was difficult to understand, as the man was quite drunk and his speech slurred, but Lan Wangji managed to piece it together.
“Ya’know Wen Qing?”
Lan Wangji didn’t like how this story began. “Yes. She attended to me a few times while I was imprisoned, mostly in the beginning when my leg was broken.”
“Really? No way! Heh, small world.” Lan Wangji wasn’t quite sure it was small. It made sense that he came across the doctor while imprisoned there for years. However, Wei Wuxian was far past logical thinking, and he didn’t have the patience to attempt to explain that to the inebriated man.
“Aaaaanyways,” Wei Wuxian continued, “the Wens attacked Lotus Pier and Jiang Cheng was an idiot who tried to take them on by himself and then poof, no more core for Jiang Cheng.”
Lan Wangji couldn’t say he was surprised. Jiang Cheng did have quite a temper, and a need to outshine his adoptive brother. Still, as stupid as his choices were, no one deserved to have their core taken away from them.
“Ok, so Jiang Cheng also lost his core. How does this relate to you losing your core? And Jiang Cheng is able to cultivate. Why was Wen Qing-” He stopped his bombardment of questions as the pieces of what happened started to fall into place. Jiang Cheng lost his core. He now has one. Wei Wuxian no longer has a core, and somehow this involved Wen Qing as well. There was only one thing that could mean…
“A transplant?” he whispered, horrified.
“Lan Zhan, ah Lan Zhan, you are so smart! The smartest! How did you get so smart? And pretty?”
He ignored the rambling man. He couldn’t believe it. A core transplant was thought to be impossible, only discussed in theory in some of the ancient books they had in the Cloud Recesses library. It shouldn’t have worked. Wei Wuxian shouldn’t have survived the procedure at all. Yet here he was.
Lan Wangji batted away the hands that were attempting to squish his cheeks. “Focus, Wei Ying. Tell me you didn’t give your core to Jiang Cheng.”
“Sorry, no can do,” Wei Wuxian shrugged. “Wen Qing took out my core and gave it to Jiang Cheng. Then Wen Chao found me and stabbed me and threw me in the Burial Mounds as punishment. But screw him because I survived! Haha!”
This was far too much for Lan Wangji to process. How could someone go through all of that and live? How could Wei Wuxian be so giving without a thought towards himself? How could someone be so depraved as to throw someone into the Burial Mounds? And how could Wei Wuxian tell him the most heart wrenching story with a stupid smile on his face?
“Aaaaand that’s my story!” Wei Wuxian finished with a flourish. “It’s a good one, isn’t it Lan Zhan.” A few moments passed without a response. “Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji was still stunned into silence, his anguish for the other only deepening further. He felt a myriad of emotions. He was angry at the way Jiang Cheng was treating the brother that gave him a second chance at life. He was enraged at Wen Chao, and wished desperately he could raise him from the dead just so he could kill him over and over again. He was heartbroken at the thought of what horrors Wei Wuxian was exposed to as he lay injured and dying in the Burial Mounds.
And yet, despite all that had happened to him and how much he changed because of it, Wei Wuxian was still the same selfless, kind boy he fell in love with all those years ago on a rooftop, and Lan Wangji both loved and hated him for that.
“Lan Zhan, don’t be sad,” Wei Wuxian said, wiping away a tear from his cheek before laying down and burying his head into Lan Wangji’s lap. Lan Wangji hadn’t even noticed he was crying. “I’m okay. I’ll be okay...” He trailed off as they stared into one another’s eyes.
The next thing Lan Wangji knew, Wei Wuxian was surging up and they were kissing. It wasn't the sweet kiss he had dreamed about in his youth. No, it was hot and passionate and more teeth than actual lip. Wei Wuxian moaned and crawled into Lan Wangji’s lap, grabbing his face and pulling them impossibly closer so he could better explore the inside of Lan Wangji’s mouth. Unsure of what to do, Lan Wangji grasped onto Wei Wuxian’s waist and held on for dear life.
He wasn’t entirely clueless. He had read books. But there was a difference between reading something and putting it into practice, and now that the opportunity presented itself, he felt way out of his depth.
Wei Wuxian seemed to notice his uncertainty, as he chuckled and pulled back from the kiss. “Just relax, Lan Zhan. I’ll take care of you.”
The timber of his voice caused Lan Wangji to shiver. He allowed himself to be pushed back against the bed as Wei Wuxian slithered his way down his body, leaving a hot train of kisses and nips and licks in his place. Had he not seen how drunk Wei Wuxian were before, he would think-
“Wait!” Lan Wangji yelped, pushing Wei Wuxian off of him. The man looked at him with wide, lustful eyes, his chest heaving.
“What’s wrong, Lan Zhan?”
What was wrong? He couldn’t remember. It suddenly didn’t seem important with the way Wei Wuxian was staring at him as his hand squeezed the meat of Lan Wangji’s thighs. But he knew it was important, if only he could remember…
“You’re drunk,” he replied, suddenly remembering why he put a stop to what they were doing.
“So?”
“So I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
A wicked smile appeared on Wei Wuxian’s face that caused Lan Wangji’s cock to stir. “Oh, Lan Zhan, you should be much more afraid of me taking advantage of you.”
Putting an end to their discussion, Wei Wuxian ripped Lan Wangji’s robes open and dove for his cock, taking it into his mouth in one go. Lan Wangji yelped at the sudden sensation. He should really protest more. This wasn’t right. Wei Wuxian was drunk, and probably wouldn’t remember this in the morning. And what did this even mean? Did this mean Wei Wuxian liked him, or was he just looking for a distraction? But then Wei Wuxian put a finger into his hole, and all thoughts came to a screeching halt.
Lan Wangji put his hands over his mouth, trying to stifle the embarrassing noises he was making as Wei Wuxian continued to suck his cock while putting more and more fingers into his hole. It was so much and yet not enough.
“No, no, don't cover your mouth,” Wei Wuxian said, popping his mouth off his now leaking cock and moving so he could pull Lan Wangji’s hands away. “I want to hear every sinful noise that comes out of that pretty little mouth of yours.”
Lan Wangji was certain his face was on fire, but he didn’t have much time to think on that as Wei Wuxian lined himself up with Lan Wangji’s hole and sheathed himself in one, swift motion. Lan Wangji threw his head back, biting his lip until it bled so he wouldn’t let out a piercing scream that would wake the entire sect.
“Shhh,” Wei Wuxian cooed in his ear as began to slowly move in and out of him. “You’re doing great, sweetheart. So beautiful. So perfect.”
His partner gently wiped away his tears as he set a brutal pace, the irony of which was not lost on Lan Wangji. He moaned and whined and cried as Wei Wuxian pushed them towards their climax. With one more feral thrust, Lan Wangji was pushed over the edge, Wei Wuxian following a few seconds behind.
They lay next to one another, panting and covered in sweat. Lan Wangji was shaking from the mix of adrenaline and ecstasy. Despite this, he managed to roll onto his side and pulled Wei Wuxian close. The fear and anxiety slowly made home in his heart once again, but he ignored them in favor of comforting Wei Wuxian. The man held him tightly, his nails digging into Lan Wangji’s back. He swore he felt tears fall against his chest, but with how sweaty their bodies were, he couldn’t be certain. As their breathing evened out, Lan Wangji felt himself beginning to slip into slumber, but not before resolving himself to something. No matter what, with every fiber of his being, he would not let this man get hurt, not again. He’d protect his body and heart, always.
—
Wei Wuxian woke the next morning with an excruciating headache and little memory of what happened the night before. By the way he was staring at Lan Wangji’s bare chest, he was sure the man had caught on.
“Lan Zhan, I didn’t- I mean, you weren’t-”
Lan Wangji sighed and felt his heart sink. This tryst seemed more like a momentary need for comfort rather than a sign of affection. But if that’s what Wei Wuxian needed, Lan Wangji would provide, even if it broke his heart a little. He did so willingly though. He wanted to be something to Wei Wuxian, even if it came in the form of carnal pleasure.
Lan Wangji didn’t answer him, instead slipping on an inner robe and moving through the room to make them some tea. Wei Wuxian said nothing further, perhaps taking the hint that Lan Wangji didn’t want to discuss it, and laid in bed a while longer.
When he joined him at the table, Lan Wangji answered his question, “Everything I did, I did freely. You have nothing to worry about.”
Wei Wuxian nodded, but he looked conflicted at Lan Wangji’s words. They sipped their tea in silence, allowing themselves time to fully wake before discussing anything further.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said after he finished his tea, “you can’t tell shijie or Jiang Cheng.”
“They don’t know?” he asked in surprise.
“No, and I don’t want them too. Jiejie will be so sad, and I don’t even want to think about how Jiang Cheng would react. Please, don’t tell them.”
Lan Wangji agreed, but only because it was not his story to tell. They made their way to breakfast with the siblings and endured Jiang Cheng’s rant about Wei Wuxian disappearing act the previous day. Lan Wangji glared daggers at the man, and Wei Wuxian had to squeeze his hand to remind him of their promise.
“The Jin’s are hosting a sect conference,” Jiang Yanli interrupted in an attempt to change the subject. “They want us all to be there.”
She looked at Lan Wangji and smiled. He truthfully didn’t want to go and mingle with the people that tried to sell him off as quickly as possible, but he worried for Wei Wuxian wellbeing and the burden of his secret, so he agreed.
–
They made the journey to the sect conference a week later. Wei Wuxian had insisted on him dressing up. He had hesitated at first. He was raised to never be too prideful of his looks, and when he was imprisoned by the Wens, he was often dressed up and flaunted during dinners, “motivation for the soldiers” as Wen Chao put it. But he believed Wei Wuxian had no such intentions. After all, he had made several comments about his beauty during their days as students without any malicious intent. Why would that change now?
Lan Wangji was adorned in the finest of robes: a mix of white, lace and silk outer robes and red, silk inner robes. He wore the palest of jade jewelry around his wrists and dangling from his ears. His headpiece was intricate and jingled as he walked. He tried to tell Wei Wuxian it was all too much, but Wei Wuxian disagreed.
Lan Wangji felt like a doll. Usually dressing took a few minutes, but there were so many ties and random layers that he became confused. Is this what his female compatriots went through to make themselves look appealing to the masses? He would have to ask Jiang Yanli later. If so, he owed her a massive apology on behalf of his sex.
As he walked out from behind the privacy screen, Wei Wuxian’s jaw dropped. His eyes went wide in awe. There was something else there too, something primal and hot. Lan Wangji felt the faintest shiver run down his spine. He quite liked being looked at like that by Wei Wuxian.
“Well?” he questioned testily after the silence stretched on too long.
“Lan Zhan, you look beautiful.”
It was his turn to look surprised. His reaction caused Wei Wuxian to stutter.
“Ah, what I mean is, you look good. More than good! I mean you know you’re beautiful but this is different. Not different bad! Different good. Ya, definitely good.”
He tried his hardest not to laugh and tease Wei Wuxian for his way with words. “You’re sure this isn’t too much?”
“Of course not! Besides, I want to show those fools what they lost out on!” he said proudly, his former embarrassment having melted into bravado. He took Lan Wangji’s hand and had him spin. “And wouldn’t it feel nice to make them eat their words by showing them how you’re thriving and being taken care of?”
Lan Wangji had to admit, it was nice. He looked around the room as he strode in with the Jiang delegation arm and arm with Wei Wuxian. There was a mixture of fury and jealousy radiating off the crowd directed towards them as they looked the pair up and down, and Lan Wangji preened. It was unbecoming for a Lan to act in such a way, but he couldn’t help it. These men attempted to rid him of any dignity. It was only fitting that he showed them how dignified he was. He looked over at his companion. Wei Wuxian looked quite smug himself.
Jin Guangshan entered last, along with his wife and son. Somehow, Jin Guangshan caught sight of him in the sea of people, and the look he gave Lan Wangji could only be described as disturbing. He thought his taste was in women, but he could clearly be persuaded to bed the other sex with the right motivation. Wei Wuxian took note of the looks Lan Wangji was getting, and he gripped his arm possessively, practically growling at the man walking towards his seat. His glare was ignored.
They were forced to sit through another long winded, arrogant, boring speech courtesy of Jin Guangshan before finally being served food and wine. Like always, Wei Wuxian picked the vegetables out of his dish, placing them on Lan Wangji’s, and taking the scraps of meat in his meal. If anyone noticed this, they didn’t say anything. Lan Wangji thought it was sweet that Wei Wuxian tried to abide by his clan's rules despite him not having been back for quite some time.
Once the formalities were out of the way and people were allowed to mingle, Lan Xichen rushed over to him. The pair embraced. He hadn't seen his brother since the competition for him. His eyes stung. He missed him dearly. Lan Xichen had always been Lan Wangji’s voice of reason. Whenever he was lost in a battle of logic versus emotion, Lan Xichen would be there to find common ground and point him towards the right path. How he had missed his advice over these past several months. Perhaps he would be able to help him figure out his situation and conflicting feelings towards Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian smiled at the pair. Lan Wangji didn’t want to tell the man to leave, but he also wanted to be able to speak openly with his brother. Wei Wuxian didn’t make him decide though as he said, “Take your time, Lan Zhan. I’ll be right over there.” With that, he left, giving the brother’s some space to reconnect.
“How have you been A-Zhan?” Lan Xichen asked the second they were alone.
“I have been well, brother. The Jiang’s take good care of me. They have given me duties and helped me towards improving my cultivation skills and strengthening my core.”
“And Wei Wuxian?”
Lan Wangji could see anxiety in his brother’s eyes. He supposed he had every right to be anxious. Afterall, the Wei Wuxian the cultivation world now knew was the founder of demonic cultivation. But Lan Wangji believed he knew the real Wei Wuxian, and that Wei Wuxian was nothing but good.
“He’s treated me very well,” he replied with a small smile he failed to suppress.
Lan Xichen’s eyes widened. “Does that mean…”
Lan Wangji sighed. Leave it to his brother to infer what was unsaid. “No, we are not a couple. But…”
“But?”
“But we have…laid together.”
Lan Xichen gasped in feigned shock. “A-Zhan! How scandalous!”
Lan Wangji punched his brother in the shoulder as the man nearly keeled over laughing. He hadn’t punched his brother since they were children, but it felt justified given the situation. Once his brother had finally stopped laughing, he smiled.
“Why are you smiling?”
“Nothing. It’s just so nice to see my baby brother happy and in love.” Lan Wangji’s ears turned red at his words. He refused to respond, causing his brother to chuckle. “I haven’t seen you act like this since before mother…” He trailed off. Despite all that had happened in their lives, with the war and his imprisonment and the destruction of their home, they still struggled to talk about their mother. “Anyways, I am glad you are being treated well.”
“As am I.”
They spent the rest of the evening chatting. Lan Xichen updated him on the Cloud Recesses’ recovery and how their uncle was doing. Lan Wangji talked about the restoration of Lotus Pier and all the foods Wei Wuxian had introduced him to. As the evening wound down, Wei Wuxian came to collect him and take them back to their room.
He hugged his brother one more time before taking Wei Wuxian’s arm and following him through the courtyard. Wei Wuxian was quiet during their stroll, staring off into the distance as if lost in thought. Lan Wangji thought better than to interrupt his musings, so he stayed quiet, looking around the gardens as they passed by. When they reached their room, the silence became more tense. Eventually, Wei Wuxian finally asked, “Lan Zhan, am I keeping you caged in Lotus Pier?”
Lan Wangji was taken aback. Where did he even get such an idea? Had he done anything to make him feel that way? “Why do you ask?”
“It’s just, seeing you with your brother, you seemed so happy, and I began to wonder if you’d be happier with the Lan Clan than with me. I’m worried that I’m trapping you in Lotus Pier because of some stupid competition. I don’t want to be your keeper. You’re free to do as you want. I hope you know that.”
Lan Wangji scoffed. This was ridiculous. “Wei Ying, do not forget my abilities as a cultivator just because I am a war prize. If I wanted to leave, I would have. Besides, I haven’t been to the Cloud Recesses in years. It doesn’t exactly feel like home anymore.”
“Where do you feel home is?” Wei Wuxian asked.
He was quiet for a moment, thinking. He stopped believing in the concept of home after so long with the Wens. He assumed that his home was with the highest bidder. He had resigned himself to that. Apparently, he hadn’t stopped feeling that way despite regaining some of his freedom.
“I don’t know,” Lan Wangji replied honestly.
Wei Wuxian eyed him for a moment longer, looking for any sign of doubt, before smiling smugly and attempting to lighten the mood. “Our generation's best cultivator, and yet I won against you.”
He returned his smile with a coy one of his own. “Did you ever think that I let you win?”
Wei Wuxian’s jaw dropped in surprise. Lan Wangji turned so as to not burst out laughing at the man’s gobsmacked face, and crawled into bed. He flicked his hand and the candles went out. “Goodnight, Wei Ying.”
It took a few minutes for Wei Wuxian to regain his composure and finally join him in bed.
—
The following day was the hunting competition. Were he still a part of his sect, Lan Wangji would be able to participate alongside the other cultivators. However, the sects wouldn’t allow it due to his status as Wei Wuxian’s prize and not as an individual cultivator, so he sat next to Jiang Yanli in the stands somewhat bitterly.
Wei Wuxian had attempted to spend the morning cheering him up, but he proved unsuccessful. Lan Wangji knew he shouldn’t be surprised at this verdict. Afterall, the cultivation world had made their opinion of him clear. But it was still a bitter pill to swallow. So he spent the day brooding (not pouting, as Wei Wuxian had argued) and tried his hardest to appear unbothered by the decision in front of others.
The cultivators rode out on their horses to cheers and whistles from the gathered crowd. Lan Wangji clapped politely and watched as each rode out. His eyes scanned for Wei Wuxian, and when he found him, he was wearing his signature cocky grin, smiling and laughing at the commotion coming from the stands. A group of pretty girls called Wei Wuxian over and he went willingly. They showered him with flowers and compliments. Wei Wuxian seemed to preen under their praise.
Great. His day was getting better and better. He tried his best not to feel jealous at the way Wei Wuxian smiled and laughed at the girls. Wei Wuxian had always been like this. He shouldn’t expect him to change just because of their circumstances. Afterall, they still hadn’t talked about that night, and they weren’t formally courting, despite what others thought. He held no claim over Wei Wuxian.
Just as he was about to excuse himself to cool his head, Wei Wuxian picked up a delicate, red flower that was thrown his way and scanned for Lan Wangji in the crowd. He smiled and raised the flower towards him as an offering. Lan Wangji felt himself blush as Jiang Yanli giggled next to him. He couldn’t stop his heart from skipping a beat. Despite all his flirting with others, Wei Wuxian still sought him out in the end. But he wouldn’t give in so easily. He huffed and looked away, causing Wei Wuxian to falter. The man tucked the flower into his robes and made his way to the competition.
Once everyone was settled, they began making preparations for the archery competition. After a few rounds of simple shooting, an announcement was made offering a challenge for the young cultivators brave enough to participate. The crowd murmured as a group of Wen prisoners were brought out onto the field, chained together and blindfolded. They were positioned in front of the targets. Lan Wangji felt his blood run cold. He couldn’t help but think that this would be his fate had Wei Wuxian not won. Would he have been used as target practice? Or would he even have even gotten the chance to live this long?
The Wens had not been kind to him when he was a prisoner, but they did not deserve to be tortured like this. His fellow cultivators clearly did not share the same sentiment though. His hands trembled with a mixture of fear and fury. He tried to hide this as best he could. Afterall, it would not do well for him to be accused of being sympathetic towards the Wens. He had just secured his freedom and safety. He couldn’t lose that.
Jin Zixuan was the first to take aim at the targets, both human and non-human. He grabbed an arrow out of its sheath, knocked, and released it. The arrow pierced perfectly into the target above a prisoner's head. Lan Wangji noticed how the Wen prisoner shook with fear at the thunk of the arrow hitting its target. He could sympathize with that fear. He felt it every time he was led to a dinner, everytime a guard entered his cell to take out their frustrations on him. As time went on, he too struggled to hide it. The crowd didn’t seem to care though, as they applauded and cheered.
An ugly man in yellow robes began goading the other cultivators, before setting his sights on Wei Wuxian. He was too far away to hear what exactly was said, but whatever it was caused Wei Wuxian to laugh. He unraveled his wrist guard and wrapped it around his eyes before taking a stance in front of the targets. Instead of grabbing one arrow, he grabbed five. He knocked all of them at once and held his bow sideways. He took a deep breath and then released his grip on the string. A loud thud rang throughout the quiet field. Each arrow had hit its target dead center. The crowd roared.
Wei Wuxian took off his blindfold, found Lan Wangji in the crowd, and smiled smugly. Lan Wangji felt an array of emotions at that moment. The smile reminded him so much of the confident, mischievous boy he met on the roof one night. Once upon a time, he found Wei Wuxian’s cockiness infuriating. Now, it was more intoxicating. Wei Wuxian had always been a talented cultivator, but in their time apart, he had become something else. He was powerful, more powerful than most, and he had sworn to protect Lan Wangji. He sought Lan Wangji out. He fought for Lan Wangji. The idea that he, a once great cultivator now reduced to a mere warprize, could capture the attention of the most powerful, arguably dangerous cultivator of their generation was a heady thought.
The feeling of longing soon turned to that of hunger. Heat pooled in his stomach and he felt something stir between his legs. He was so lost in unholy thoughts that he barely registered the start of the night hunt. Jiang Yanli roused him to follow the participating cultivators and he snapped out of his thoughts.
The pair walked around for some time, no real destination in mind.
“Have you been well, Lan-gongzi?” Jiang Yanli asked with a kind smile.
Lan Wangji gave her a puzzled look. They lived together. She should know that he was healthy. “I am well,” he responded.
“I’m glad. I know the circumstances of your arrival at Lotus Pier are less than ideal, but I hope you know that my brothers and I would never do anything to harm you.”
He gave her a small reassuring smile. “I know, Mistress Jiang. I am grateful to you all for allowing me into your home and family. Not many would be so courteous.”
She scoffed. Lan Wangji was sure that was the first time he had heard that sound coming from her mouth. “It’s the least we could do. I only wish we could do more. You’ve done so much to help us.”
“I’m happy to help with the restoration of your home.”
“We are grateful for your help. But I didn’t mean physically, I meant emotionally.”
Lan Wangji was confused again. “I’m not sure I follow.”
Jiang Yanli chuckled at his furrowed brows. “I’m sure you’ve noticed a change in A-Xian.” Lan Wangji remained silent. He knew the cause of said change, but he made a promise, and he intended to keep it. Jiang Yanli continued, “When we reunited after the war, A-Xian was practically unrecognizable. He was angry, quiet, and seemed to constantly be lost in thought. A-Cheng and I tried to bring him some form of normality, but nothing seemed to work until you came.”
Lan Wangji ducked his head. It was burdensome, to be the reason behind someone's change, but it was a burden he took on happily and willingly. “I am indebted to him as well. I do not wish to imagine what would have happened should someone else have won.”
“Oh A-Xian wouldn’t have allowed it,” she responded, her voice full of mirth. “He was fuming when he heard of what the sects planned to do with you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he kidnapped you in the middle of the night and refused to return you.”
That was certainly unexpected. Lan Wangji had hoped that Wei Wuxian would return his feelings, but to hear he had such a strong reaction made his heart flutter. Perhaps it wasn’t as hopeless as he feared.
“But you haven’t just been good for A-Xian,” Jiang Yanli continued. “You’ve been good for A-Cheng and myself as well. While he’s a bit prickly, I can tell that he’s enjoyed working and training with you. He’s not used to dealing with someone so level headed, as I’m sure you’re aware.” Lan Wangji chuckled. No, Wei Wuxian was more of spitfire than anything. “And I’m happy to have someone to cook with and suffer through my brother’s ridiculous arguments with.”
Lan Wangji couldn’t help but chuckle. They had had more than a few venting sessions over tea after a particularly intense fight between the brothers. “I enjoy my time with you all as well.”
Jiang Yanli stopped walking and grabbed both of his hands, her expression serious. “Lan-gongzi, I hope you know that no matter what happens, we consider you family, and you will always have a home with us.”
There it was again, that word: home. Home had looked different to him over the years, a hidden cabin, the Jingshi, a prison, and now, perhaps Lotus Pier. He let himself settle some knowing that he always had a place to return to.
“Thank you Mistress Jiang,” he responded.
“Please, call me shijie.”
Lan Wangji and Jiang Yanli continued walking after that, discussing this and that. He was hoping to run into Wei Wuxian at some point. Afterall, he had a lot he wanted to talk to him about after his conversation with Jiang Yanli, but he ran into Jiang Cheng first.
“Who knows where he’s at,” Jiang Cheng responded to Lan Wangji’s question regarding Wei Wuxian’s whereabouts. “He fucked off right as we entered. He’s not even trying to help us win! He said something about betting he could kill more beasts blindfolded, the idiot. How he expects to do that without seeing anything in front of him is beyond me!”
Jiang Yanli tried to calm her brother down as Lan Wangji sighed. He didn’t have the energy to be a part of this argument once again, so he left the siblings to go search for the third. He wandered the woods for a while, Bichen by his side in case he ran into trouble, until he found the man in question resting in a tree, his wrist guard wrapped securely around his eyes once more in what he assumed was an attempt to block out the sun.
Lan Wangji stood and watched him for a moment, pondering what to do next. He could call for him and the pair could walk together. But he felt a sort of courage knowing that Wei Wuxian couldn’t see him and what he was thinking of doing. He was certain that Wei Wuxian had some sort of romantic feelings towards him, despite his actions the morning after he got drunk, but he wasn’t completely sure. That fear kept him from sharing his feelings with the other man. But with his sight impaired at the moment, perhaps he could show him without the other knowing it was him.
He carefully and quietly made his way up the tree. Wei Wuxian looked more relaxed than he had in weeks. The sunlight streaming through the trees kissed his tanned skin and made Lan Wangji want to run his hands and touch every inch of it. His lips were pink and plush and looked soft. The man was humming some sort of tune softly as he tapped his foot against the branch in rhythm. He was perfect and beautiful and Lan Wangji felt unworthy of his attention.
But if there was one thing he learned over the years, it was how quickly things could change, and no one knows how much time they are allotted on this earth. His mother hadn't been given enough. He had been ripped from the only home he knew and wasn’t allowed to go back. And considering what he knew of what Wei Wuxian had been through, the man had cheated death more than anyone else, and he couldn’t help but fear that he wouldn’t be given another chance. So what was the point in waiting and wondering? Time was short.
He wasted no more time in carrying out his plan lest he back out. He grabbed Wei Wuxian’s face and crashed his lips onto the other man’s. He put years of passion into one single kiss. Wei Wuxian struggled at first out of shock before relaxing and returning the kiss wholeheartedly. It was sloppy and wet and oh so hot. Wei Wuxian attempted to reach for the cloth over his eyes, but Lan Wangji wouldn’t let him, grabbing his wrists and pinning them against the tree's trunk. Wei Wuxian let out a moan at being handled so roughly, and Lan Wangji couldn’t help but whine against his lips. Hearing the noises coming from Wei Wuxian made him hot and his pants began to feel too tight.
Eventually, Lan Wangji had to pull back to do this annoying thing called breathing. He gasped as they pulled apart. His body felt heavy and his head light. One was tethered to the earth while the other was floating. Once he regained his senses, he remembered that he was meant to escape after kissing Wei Wuxian. He turned, ready to jump off of the branch, when his wrist was grabbed.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said breathlessly.
Lan Wangji froze. How did he know it was him? He was positive that the man couldn’t see anything through the cloth, and he made sure not to say anything and give himself away. He waved his hand in front of Wei Wuxian’s face just to be sure, and the man didn’t react. So how?
While he was left in his state of shock, Wei Wuxian took the opportunity to rip the blind off off of his face. His eyes were blown wide, his pupils enlarged.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji replied stupidly. He didn’t know what else to say in this situation, feeling like a rabbit trapped by its prey.
“Lan Zhan, what was that for?”
He kept silent, his face turning hotter and redder by the second.
“Lan Zhan, tell me why you kissed me. Tell me that it wasn’t as thanks for saving you.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you, Wei Ying,” he replied vehemently. This was it, the moment of truth. Lan Wangji felt anxiety grip his heart. He still had half a mind to run, but he reminded himself of all they’d been through. He had been given a golden opportunity, and he planned on taking it. “Even if you do not feel the same, I have only ever acted upon my feelings. I told you before that I let you win. Did you never question why?”
“Of course I did, but I couldn’t figure it out.”
Lan Wangji huffed out what could be described as a laugh, but was more of an accumulation of frustrations. “For a genius, you can be quite dense.” Wei Wuxian sputtered in protest but Lan Wangji ignored him. “Wei Ying, I chose you. I’ve always chosen you. I will always choose you. It can’t be anyone but you. I love you.”
Wei Wuxian's face flushed. His eyes almost began to water. “You...you love me?”
Lan Wangji couldn’t help but smile. This silly man… “Since we were fifteen.”
Wei Wuxian let out a disbelieving laugh. “But you hated me!”
“Never hated Wei Ying. Just didn’t know how to express what I was feeling.”
“So you fought me instead?!”
“Did you not fight to gain my affections as well?” he shot back.
“Touché.” Wei Wuxian finally relaxed, taking his face gently between his hands and peppering kisses all over it. “Lan Zhan, my sweet Lan Zhan, I love you too.”
Lan Wangji felt himself fully relax and he melted into his embrace, burying his face into the other man’s chest. He couldn’t believe this was real. His feelings were returned. He had never been happier. They stayed like that for a long while.
“Wei Ying, how did you know it was me?”
“I’ve slept next to you for months now, Lan Zhan. I know what you smell like. Sandalwood. I’ve always liked it.”
Lan Wangji was glad his face was still buried so Wei Wuxian couldn’t see his blush.
After some more time passed, they reluctantly pulled away from each other and climbed down the tree. They then made their way out of the hunting grounds and towards the Jin residence. On the way, they came across a tense moment between Jiang Yanli, Madam Jin and Jin Zixuan. They were too far away to understand what was being said, but look in Jin Zixuan’s eyes, he was desperate for some sort of reaction from his former fiance. Yet, as per usual for the man, he wasn’t able to explain that in a tone that wasn’t angry yelling. Lan Wangji felt sympathy for the Jin heir. He knew what it was like to love someone and not be able to express it well. But at least he hadn’t broken off an engagement only to backtrack a few years later.
Wei Wuxian rushed to his sister's side, ready to defend her from her ex-fiance. Lan Wangji followed his beloved, unsure of what else he should do. Wei Wuxian spat some angry words the man’s way before turning to leave, but Jin Zixuan shot back. That was a mistake. Lan Wangji could see Wei Wuxian beginning to seethe, and could feel the dark tendrils of demonic energy curl around him. Lan Wangji moved to stop the situation from escalating further, but Jiang Yanli beat him to it. She admonished Jin Zixuan for his childishness before turning back to her brother and offering comfort. When Wei Wuxian had finally calmed down, they decided to go back to the Jin Sect and forget about the rest of the hunt. Just as they were about to leave, Jin Zixuan proclaimed a cheesy confession. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian both cringed, but it seemed to strike something within Jiang Yanli as she giggled.
“Gross. I didn’t need to hear that,” Wei Wuxian said quietly to Lan Wangji. He nodded in agreement and received a kiss on the cheek. “Why don’t you go back with shijie. I’ll meet you later.”
“Where are you going?”
“Into town.”
“What for?”
“It’s a surprise,” he sing-songed.
Lan Wangji had to force himself not to roll his eyes as he watched his love walk off. He had no doubt that this surprise was another expensive gift with which to spoil Lan Wangji. He didn’t have the heart to stop him though, so he did as he was told. He would never say it out loud, but he secretly liked being spoiled by the man.
Back at the hall, Lan Wangji was sipping tea and having a conversation with both Jiang Yanli and his brother. He couldn’t help but notice the similarities between the two older siblings. They were both too kind for their own good and cared deeply about their family. Seeing this made Lan Wangji feel like Jiang Yanli meant what she had said about him being family.
Their conversation was stopped short when a drunk Jin Zixun stood in front of Lan Wangji, swaying slightly.
“Care for a drink, Lan Wangji?” he crooned in his grating voice.
Lan Wangji looked into the man’s eyes and had to suppress a shiver. He had seen that look one too many times when he was paraded around by the Wens. It was as if Jin Zixun intended to eat him whole. His eyes flitted around the room, and he noticed how everyone was silently staring at them, waiting to see what he would do.
Stubbornly, he stayed silent and made no move to touch the cup that was being held out to him. Jin Zixun began to grow frustrated at his refusal.
“Come on, Lan Wangji, I’m sure Wei Wuxian wouldn’t mind sharing. Have a drink and relax with me -”
Before Lan Wangji could verbally refuse him, the cup was snatched out of his hand. Wei Wuxian threw it back and drank it in one go. “I’ll drink for him. And I very much do mind.” He looked like he was ready to rip the other man’s head off. It was unbelievably hot.
Without saying anything to Lan Wangji, he then turned to confront Jin Guangshan.
“Where are you holding the Qishan Wen,” he said in a low, terrifying voice.
There was a crack in Jin Guangshan’s facade at Wei Wuxian’s question, but he just as suddenly corrected himself and gave a diplomatic response.
“Wei-gongzi, as was discussed after the war, all Wens-”
“I’m not asking about your pathetic excuse at making peace, I’m asking where you’re holding the Qishan Wens.”
Jin Guangshan glared. “As I was attempting to say, they were sent to displacement camps.”
Wei Wuxian stepped forward. “Don’t lie to me, Jin Guangshan. I know your ‘displacement camps’ are just a cover for something sadistic.” The sect leader was fuming, but stayed silent. Wei Wuxian smirked and addressed the audience. “Should I remind you all that the Qishan Wens were comprised of innocents, children and non-cultivators, not soldiers? Or did you all conveniently forget?”
The room erupted into murmurs. Lan Wangji caught some of them. Some of them were accusing Wei Wuxian of fabricating lies in an attempt to make the Jin sect look bad. Others agreed with Wei Wuxian, and backed his claim regarding the Qishan Wens. Yet no one spoke on his behalf, content to whisper amongst themselves instead. Cowards, Lan Wangji thought.
Wei Wuxian’s glare turned deadly at the lack of response from Jin Guangshan. “Don’t make me repeat myself, Sect Leader Jin,” he spat. Lan Wangji noticed as his hand slowly crept towards the wooden flute he kept at his side.
The man was not deterred though, staying stubbornly silent.
“Three!” Wei Wuxian yelled. The crowd stirred and began to look nervously towards one another.
“Two!” Several people started reaching towards their swords, ready to strike at a moment's notice. Lan Wangji looked anxiously towards Wei Wuxian. As powerful as he was, a whole room full of cultivators was a lot for one person to take on.
Wei Wuxian held out his flute and pointed it towards Jin Zixun. “One!”
“Enough!” Jin Guangshan was purple in rage. Lan Wangji could only imagine how many ways the man was planning Wei Wuxian’s demise for embarrassing him in his own sect. “Enough. They are located at the labor camp due north.”
“They better be,” Wei Wuxian grumbled, lowering his flute. “If not, I’m coming back for you.”
Wei Wuxian turned on his heel and stormed out of the hall like a man on a mission. Lan Wangji ran after him, ignoring his brother’s protests and every rule instilled in him since he was a child. He knew what Wei Wuxian was about to do and he wasn’t going to let him do it alone.
“Wei Ying!” he called once he finally caught up.
Wei Wuxian stopped and turned, his anger tempering at the sight of him. “Lan Zhan, go back. I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Will you?” He wasn’t an idiot. He knew when Wei Wuxian was lying, which was often, especially when it came to his well being. Lan Wangji crossed his arms, waiting patiently for Wei Wuxian’s response. He didn’t reply. Typical. Lan Wangji knew he couldn’t promise him that. “I don’t believe you.”
“Lan Zhan-”
“I’m coming with you.”
“No you’re not. You-”
He had had enough. He made an oath to himself, and he intended to see it through. He was not going to let anyone stand in his way, not even the man he was attempting to protect. “Wei Ying, if you think I will let you order me around just because I was given to you as a prize, you are sorely mistaken.”
The man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You know that’s not why.”
“I know,” Lan Wangji said softly, losing the previous bite in his voice. He rested his hand against Wei Wuxian’s cheek, forcing the man to look at him. “But I need to know you’re safe too.”
Wei Wuxian groaned and muttered what Lan Wangji was sure were curse words under his breath. “Gods you’re stubborn.”
“You knew this. If you didn’t like it, you shouldn’t have fought for me.”
“Who said I didn’t like it?”
Lan Wangji had to remind himself that now was not the time to flirt and tease, no matter how badly he wanted to. Wei Wuuxian grabbed his hand and pulled him through the courtyard and out the gates. Wen Qing waited for them down a dark alley. She retreated into the shadows slightly at the site of Lan Wangji, clearly afraid, but she stopped when she saw their connected hands.
“I know where they are,” Wei Wuxian said, pulling her attention to him. The woman nearly cried in relief. “We’ll have to get a few horses-”
“I’ll carry you,” Lan Wangji said, pulling out Bichen.
“Isn’t there some kind of rule about not interrupting? Lan Zhan, you’ve just started using your core again.”
Lan Wangji glared at him, choosing not to respond to his comment. Just because he was out of practice didn’t mean he was useless, and it hurt that his love thought of him as such. He told himself that Wei Wuxian was stressed and possibly saying anything to get him to leave. Despite that reminder, he wasn’t able to school his facial expressions as Wei Wuxian winced.
“That’s not what I meant,” Wei Wuxian corrected, having been able to read Lan Wangji’s silence. He was one of the few that could. “I just meant I don’t want you to get hurt.”
Lan Wangji sighed and softened. “I’ll be fine. We need to get there quickly though, and flying is the best way.”
Wei Wuxian hesitated a second longer before agreeing. While it used a great deal of strength, he was able to carry them to the location Jin Guangshan had specified. After what they saw though, he wished they hadn’t been given the location at all.
Before them stood a group of elderly and sick people chained to one another. They had a look of bone weary exhaustion, and their clothes were in tatters. The worst of it all, though, was the child at the end of the line. Lan Wangji gasped at the sight of him. He couldn’t be more than a few years old, yet he looked much younger. He was scrawny and his eyes held a deep sadness at what he had endured and seen. Lan Wangji wanted to weep for him.
Wen Qing screamed and ran over to her brother, who was lying on the earth. There was something poking out of his side and he looked deathly pale. The sky began crying for the atrocities that had played out here. The lightning that flashed across the sky was the only source of light in this dark, decrepit place, and the thunder drowned out the sounds of the Wen’s wailing. He felt himself begin to shake, but he wasn’t sure if it was due to the rain and the chilly night air, or at the scene unfolding before him.
He had heard stories of the war. He had watched his home fall. But unlike Wei Wuxian and other cultivators, he had been sheltered from most of the atrocities that played out. He liked to think that he was strong enough to not be affected by them, but as he found himself rooted where he stood, his body unable to move, he realized that he wasn’t. The war was supposed to be over. Why were such horrible things continuing to take place?
Wen Qing checked the man’s pulse and let out a shaky sigh of relief. “He’s injured, but alive. We have to get him out of here so I can treat him properly,” she said.
“You’re not going anywhere!” yelled a Jin cultivator.
Suddenly, dozens of cultivators surrounded them. The Wen’s began screaming and crying. Lan Wangji pulled himself together and grabbed Bichen, ready to protect them, but Wei Wuxian stood in front of him, Chenqing already in one hand as black tendrils crawled up the other.
“Go free the Wens,” he commanded. Lan Wangji nodded and raced over to them. Their soaked bodies shook, from the cold rain or from fear he was uncertain. He couldn’t help but notice how they flinched the closer he got to them.
“It’s okay,” Lan Wangji reassured as gently as he could. “I’m not going to hurt you. We are here to help you.”
The group looked at one another, uncertain if they could trust the cultivator before them. Lan Wangji didn’t blame them. From what he had seen so far, these people had been put through a lot, far worse than what Lan Wangji had experienced at the hands of their former leader. He didn’t want to rush them, but he also knew that time was of the essence. He wasn’t sure how long Wei Wuxian could hold off the other cultivators, and from Wen Qing’s reaction, Wen Ning was near the cusp of death at the moment.
Finally, an older woman stepped forward and held out her wrists. Lan Wangji gave her a small, grateful smile, feeling honored that she had placed her trust in him. He pulled out some talisman paper and placed it on the bindings. Soon, the entire chain dissolved into dust, freeing all of the prisoners.
He looked down at the old woman’s wrists. They had been rubbed raw by the iron and were bright red despite the darkness of the night. He followed his gaze up her arms and noticed yellow and purple bruises all along it. He knew those bruises all too well. He too once sported them, only her people were his attackers and now, his people were hers. It was ironic, in a sad sort of way. When he finally met her eyes, he noticed how wretched they were. They were sunken, as were her cheeks, probably from hunger and weariness.
Lan Wangji opened his mouth before closing it again. He wanted to comfort her, to tell her that everything would be alright now, but he wasn’t so sure of that himself. He had no idea where they would go, or what they would do next. So, he stared back at her helplessly, holding her hands and trying his best to remain calm. The woman gave him a small smile, seeming to understand his intention.
“Go,” the old woman said, in a small, raspy voice. “Go help him.”
Lan Wangji nodded, dropping her hands and reaching for Bichen in preparation to help Wei Wuxian. Only, when he turned around, he found that Wei Wuxian didn’t need his help at all.
Wei Wuxian stood in front of them. His dark, wet hair whipped in the wind, and he was practically hidden by a black, thick smoke of some sort. Around him, pale, ghastly figures growled and punched and scratched the cultivators attempting to attack them. Lan Wangji realized in horror that they were the dead Wens he had seen at the bottom of a pit when he arrived at the site.
‘So this is what demonic cultivation looks like,’ Lan Wangji thought to himself. It was far from pretty. Some of the dead were fresh, still covered in flesh and muscle. Some were killed some time ago, their bones peeking out from under their tattered robes. They seemed to have no sense of what they were doing, only following the commands that sounded from Wei Wuxian’s flute.
What was happening before him went against everything he was taught in his upbringing as a cultivator. But he knew why Wei Wuxian had resorted to this method. And, while it wasn’t pretty and one could debate immoral, it was effective, and exactly what they needed to distract the guards in order to escape.
“Wei Ying!” Lan Wangji yelled, trying to get his attention over the pounding rain and fighting. Wei Wuxian looked back at him. His eyes were blood red, but Lan Wangji knew he recognized him. “They’re free! We have to go!”
Wei Wuxian nodded and ran towards a stable of sorts, grabbing as many horses as they could find. The pair helped the group of prisoners onto them. Once everyone was secure, Wei Wuxian grabbed Lan Wangji’s face in his hands.
“Listen to me, Lan Zhan,” he said seriously. It was the most serious Lan Wangji had ever seen him. “Go back. I can’t let you follow me down this path. They’ll never forgive you if you come with me. Go back home to the Cloud Recesses, be free and-”
Lan Wangji interrupted his stream of nonsense by pulling him in a passionate, desperate kiss. When they pulled apart, he said, “Wei Ying, where you go, I go.”
He couldn’t tell if Wei Wuxian was crying or if it was the rain streaming down his face, but from the raggedness of his breathing, he was almost positive he was.
“You said you wanted me to keep you company,” Lan Wangji continued, “so let me.”
“Okay, Lan Zhan, okay. You win.”
“I always win,” he replied with a smile.
“We have to move!” Wen Qing yelled.
Lan Wangji lifted himself onto the horse, with Wei Wuxian following soon after, sitting behind him, his arms around his waist. He kicked their horse and the group rode off into the black of the night.
–
Between the stress of rescuing the Wens and the strenuous flight that any doctor would admonish him for even attempting to try with his weakened core, Lan Wangji was exhausted. He was so exhausted in fact, that he was unable to stay conscious for most of the journey. The first time he had slipped into unconsciousness, Wei Wuxian had stopped the group and had Wen Qing check on him. Lan Wangji remembered waking up to a stern looking Wen Qing and an anxious looking Wei Wuxian.
“Are we there yet?” Lan Wangji asked quietly, his voice hoarse. He wasn’t sure where ‘there’ was exactly. Wei Wuxian wouldn’t tell him. But he trusted that the man was taking them somewhere safe.
“Not even close,” Wen Qing retorted. “Your lover here made everyone stop because you fainted. Luckily though, there’s nothing seriously wrong with you, other than pushing your core beyond its limits. You may be in and out for a while longer as your body tries to rest.” She directed her attention towards Wei Wuxian. “Unless he starts bleeding from his orifices, I don’t want another delay, you hear? I need to attend to my brother and we aren’t nearly far enough away from the Jins for me to relax yet.”
Wei Wuxian glared at her but nodded nonetheless. They all loaded back onto the horses and continued on their journey. Lan Wangji was able to stay awake for a while, before his eyes began to droop against his will, and his body became heavy. Wei Wuxian wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled his back tightly against his chest.
“Rest, Lan Zhan. I’ve got you,” he reassured.
For the first time in a while, Lan Wangji felt that he was truly able to rest.
He remembered flashes of the journey here and there when he was pulled from his unconscious state, but he truthfully wasn’t sure if it was real or merely a dream. Despite being asleep for most of it, the journey felt endless.
“Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian whispered into his ear, “wake up. We’re here.”
Lan Wangji lazily opened his eyes and looked around him. It took him a while to register where they were. Afterall, he had only heard about this place in legends and stories. He hadn’t actually ventured to seek it out. “The Burial Mounds?” he questioned. Wei Wuxian nodded. “Why here?”
The man shrugged. “It was the only place I could think of where no one would bother us and we’d all be safe.”
Lan Wangji looked out over the barren wasteland and couldn’t help but cringe. This was hardly the place to live, let alone raise a child here. All he knew of this place were the horror stories he heard from before the war. If there was anyone that knew this place intimately though, it was Wei Wuxian. The man had an almost haunted, far away look as he turned towards the Burial Mounds. He wanted to ask him more of his time here, to hear more about what he thought as he stared straight ahead, to try and understand the demons that wouldn’t leave him alone, but Wei Wuxian was already getting off the horse, helping him to do so as well.
“We’ll set up camp here for the night. It’s not safe for us to enter yet.”
Wei Wuxian helped the others unload the roll out their bed mats as Lan Wangji gathered firewood, which wasn’t too difficult, as everything that resided here was dead, minus them. Wen Qing had the more difficult task of attempting to find herbs and fresh water to treat her brother, or at the very least keep his wound from getting infected.
“I’ll need more,” she said as they sat around the fire. Her eyes never once left her brothers still, sleeping form, clearly too afraid to look away for even a second.
“What do you need?” Wei Wuxian asked.
The pair listened as Wen Qing listed off the medical supplies she’d need. They also discussed shelter and food to help them survive in the long term if they were to make this their home.
“I have some money on me, but it won’t be enough,” Wei Wuxian said, tapping his nose in thought.
“We will sell what I have,” Lan Wangji offered without hesitation.
The pair stared at him wide eyed. “Lan-gongzi-” Wen Qing began.
“The silks and jewels will get us triple what we have, and I have more in my qiankun pouch.” He turned to Wei Wuxian. “I know they were gifts, but these people need it more than I. Please allow me to do this.”
Wei Wuxian smiled softly at him. “Aiya, Lan Zhan, how can I say no to you?”
As the tired Wens fell into a deep slumber, Lan Wangji looked at his partner and asked, “How do you feel?”
Wei Wuxian raised an eyebrow at his question. “I feel fine. You’re the one I’m worried about. You were out of it for a lot of the trip.”
Lan Wangji shook his head. “I’m doing much better, and that’s not what I was talking about. How do you feel about being back here?”
A haunted look crossed Wei Wuxian’s face at his question. Lan Wangji cringed. Perhaps he should not have asked. Despite his curiosity and growing need for Wei Wuxian to open up to him, he didn’t want to send his lover spiraling.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” Lan Wangji reassured, grabbing Wei Wuxian’s hand and squeezing it, “but I will listen if you wish to share.”
“To be honest, Lan Zhan, I don’t remember much of it,” Wei Wuxian replied. He didn’t look him directly in the eyes, instead looking over his shoulder with a far off stare. Lan Wangji didn’t attempt to direct his gaze. He wanted to give Wei Wuxian space. He continued to hold onto his hand though.
“The first thing I remember is falling,” Wei Wuxian said after a while. “I thought for sure I was going to die the instant I touched the ground. After all, it was a pretty high cliff. But I never hit the ground. It was like something had caught me. After that I remember trying not to bleed out. I attempted to come to terms with the fact that I would die there. But I kept hearing voices.”
“What kind of voices?” Lan Wangji asked.
“The voices of people I loved. I heard Jiang Cheng, Shijie and Nie Huaisang. I’m pretty sure I heard my parents too.” Wei Wuxian finally looked into Lan Wangji’s eyes. They looked sad and wan, but there was also love shining through. “I heard your voice too.”
Lan Wangji was shocked. “You heard my voice?”
“Ya. Just as I was about to give up, you called out to me, and for some reason, that made me want to live.”
Lan Wangji remained silent and stared. He wasn’t sure why Wei Wuxian was hearing voices or who was speaking them, but he was grateful for it. He should probably be concerned that Wei Wuxian was hearing voices, and ask if he was still hearing them, but he let it slide. He didn’t want to think of a future without Wei Wuxian, a future where Wei Wuxian had given up and died in that wretched place.
Wei Wuxian continued with his story. “I started crawling through the Burial Mounds. Wen Chao had messed up my leg pretty bad, so walking wasn’t really an option. I think I was falling in and out of consciousness as I don’t remember much of what happened during that time. I know I was eating. I was hungry, but not as hungry as I was when I was living in the streets as a child. I’m…not sure what I ate.”
Lan Wangji didn’t comment on that, and he could tell Wei Wuxian didn’t want to think about it any further either. They both knew that the Burial Grounds consisted of dead plants, dirt, and bodies. Perhaps it’s a good thing that Wei Wuxian couldn’t remember. Some things were better left forgotten.
“I kept thinking of the Wens and the war while I was there. I kept thinking about how much I hated them for what they did to you, and to Lotus Pier, and to so many other innocent people. I kept thinking about how they crushed my brother’s core. I kept thinking about how much they took from all of us. My anger and rage began to consume me. That’s when I heard another voice.”
“Another voice?” Lan Wangji parroted.
“Yes. Only, I didn’t recognize this voice. It was deep and terrifying.”
“What did it say?”
“It asked me if I wanted to get revenge on those that wronged me. It asked if I wanted to end the war. It asked if I would be its vessel.”
“What did you say?” Lan Wangji whispered. He already knew the answer, but he feared it all the same.
Wei Wuxian looked at him, his eyes harsh and cold. “I said yes. The next thing I knew, my leg was fixed and I was walking out of the Burial Grounds with a bamboo flute and the ability to use demonic cultivation. After that, well…you know the rest.”
Lan Wangji laid there quietly, trying to take in all that he had heard. He couldn’t quite wrap his head around it all. No matter how hard he tried to imagine it, he couldn’t. No one but Wei Wuxian himself could truly understand what he had been through. Many wouldn’t dare try to understand it.
“Are you scared of me?” Wei Wuxian asked, his voice filled with worry.
Lan Wangji gave him a hard look and shook his head. “No. Of course not. I could never fear you, Wei Ying.”
“But you did once.”
“Once, when I was getting to know you still. But now that I know you, I could never be afraid of you.”
Wei Wuxian nodded silently. Then, he asked, “Are you disappointed in me?”
Lan Wangji was quiet for a moment before shaking his head again. “No. I understand.”
Wei Wuxian gave him a small smile and allowed his body to relax.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said hesitantly, “why my voice?”
Wei Wuxian sighed and pulled him against his chest. He hadn’t finished his question, but Wei Wuxian knew the answer he was looking for. “I’m not sure. I just kept thinking that Jiang Cheng had a core now, and Shijie had plenty of people looking after her, and Nie Huaisang had Nie Mingjue who would rather die than let anything happen to his baby brother. And my parents are already dead. But you, I had no idea where you were and if you were still alive. I had heard about what happened at the Cloud Recesses. I was trying to find you, but no matter how hard I tried, no one seemed to know where you had gone. All I knew was that they didn’t find your body.
“When I was lying there dying in the Burial Mounds, and you called out to me, all I could think about was how you were still out there somewhere. I didn’t know where and I didn’t know what was happening to you, but I knew that if I died without knowing, without seeing you one more time, I would never forgive myself. So, I made the decision to live. And I’m so glad I did. Now I have you and I don’t ever plan on letting you go.”
Wei Wuxian placed a kiss on the top of his head. Lan Wangji laid still as he felt tears slip down his cheeks. His mother told him once when he was a child that someone would come into his life and love him beyond his imagination. Lan Wangji never believed her. After her death, he was certain that he would never be loved unconditionally again. But now, as he lay wrapped in Wei Wuxian’s arms listening to his heartbreaking story about how he fought through hell just to find out where he was, Lan Wangji couldn’t help but think his mother had sent Wei Wuxian to him just to prove him wrong.
Lan Wangji smiled at the thought and nuzzled into Wei Wuxian’s chest. He said a quick prayer thanking his mother and whatever gods above for sending his Wei Wuxian back to him.
–
The next day, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian changed into their simplest of clothes. They went through each of Lan Wangji’s items and decided which would sell and which might be better used for the Wens. The more ostentatious silks were put into a pile to be sold off, where the simpler ones were given out to some of the Wens, providing a respite from their worn, blood stained clothes. He planned to give away nearly all of his jewels minus the hairpin Wei Wuxian had bought for him the night he ran into Wen Qing at the market.
It was a simple pin, with beautifully crafted flowers in both red and blue; their colors. It was the last gift Wei Wuxian bought for him before they fled, and Lan Wangji selfishly wanted to hold onto it.
Wei Wuxian watched him as he hesitated to put the floral pins with the jewels they intended to sell. He smiled and wound the pin into his hair before kissing him on the forehead. “This is only temporary. I’ll spoil you just as much again someday.”
Lan Wangji smiled in response. He had no doubt that Wei Wuxian would live up to his promise.
Once everything was settled, Lan Wangji and Wen Qing headed down the mountain while Wei Wuxian stayed with the others just outside the Burial Mounds.
“Are you sure you won’t come with us?” Wen Qing asked once more.
Wei Wuxian shook his head. “The Burial Mounds aren’t safe as they are now. Someone needs to cleanse it. Besides, I need to be here in case we run into any trouble.”
“I have no doubt that there will be trouble,” Wen Qing said sarcastically.
Wei Wuxian pressed a hand to his chest in mock offense. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means that despite your valiant efforts to stay out of trouble, trouble always seems to find its way to you,” Lan Wangji clarified, causing Wen Qing to laugh and Wei Wuxian to huff.
“It’s not my fault!” Wei Wuxian protested.
“No of course not,” Wen Qing replied with an eye roll. “We’re leaving. Don’t come back wounded, otherwise I’ll kill you myself.”
Without another word, they headed to the markets. They started by trading their horses for a simple donkey and some money. They wouldn’t need them now that they planned on staying. The donkey would come in handy though when they needed to carry large loads of supplies to the Burial Mounds. They then went and bought Wen Qing all the medicine and tools she required for her brother and for any future accidents or illness. Lan Wangji watched Wen Qing in her element. She was like a child at a toy stall, fascinated by all that was around her. He wondered when was the last time she had access to such a medical supply. It was probably during the war. Despite her years on the run hiding from the Jins and not practicing medicine, her knowledge of her craft had not diminished. She was just as insightful on what herbs to use for what illnesses, and what common illnesses may affect the group over the years. He understood why Wei Wuxian thought so highly of her.
They went from stall to stall, buying food and tea and seeds. Wen Qing was a natural at getting vendors to lower their prices. It may have also helped that everyone assumed they were a newly wedded couple starting their life together. Lan Wangji tried to refute it, but Wen Qing stopped him.
“I know how much you adore your Wei Ying, but just go along with it,” she told him. “We only have so much money after all.”
By the time they got the last of their supplies, the sun was beginning to set. They loaded as much as they could onto the donkey's back and made the trek back to the Burial Mounds.
The Wens cheerfully greeted them upon their arrival and helped them to unload the supplies. They quickly went about organizing things, delegating who would work on what. There was an obvious lack of someone though.
“Where’s Wei Ying?” Lan Wangji asked one of the older women of the group, someone Wei Wuxian affectionately referred to as granny.
“Ah, Wei-furen, he has gone to calm the resentful spirits so that we will not be disturbed.”
Lan Wangji choked on air at her words. “Wei-furen?” he repeated, his voice hoarse from his coughing fit.
“Yes. Wei-gongzi told us to call you that.”
Lan Wangji sighed and rubbed his temples. Of course Wei Wuxian would ask them to do that without talking to him first. He felt a warm, fuzzy feeling course through him. Lan Wangji was never destined to run a sect. He was never destined to be head of a house, and, if you surveyed cultivators from his clan, many believed he would never be destined to marry at all due to his nature. Certainly after he was imprisoned and humiliated, Lan Wangji was certain that would be the end of any prospect for marriage.
But now, here he was with his first love and a gaggle of lost souls trying to create a new home. He wasn’t married, but he was respected as Wei Wuxian’s partner. He wasn’t the leader of a sect, but he protected a small group of good people. He wasn’t the head of a house, as there were no houses, but he would use his hands to build homes for others. Wei-furen wasn’t destined to be his title, but he found himself embracing it all the same.
He wondered if Wei Wuxian felt the same. He pushed those thoughts aside. It didn’t matter now though. He would talk to the man when he returned from the mountain. He went about helping the others organize the supplies.
The sun was beginning to set, and Lan Wangji began to worry where Wei Wuxian was and if he was okay. Just then, Wei Wuxian appeared from behind the dead trees, looking pale and exhausted. “Everything’s good now. You can head on up.”
The Wen refugees let out a relieved sigh and began taking their supplies, excitedly chattering about the new life ahead of them. Wen Qing glared at Wei Wuxian as she passed them. Lan Wangji was the last to move, quickly rushing to Wei Wuxian’s side, sensing something was wrong.
“Wei Ying, are you alright?”
“Just tired, Lan Zhan.” Lan Wangji doubted that with the way Wei Wuxian was heavily leaning against him, but he knew how stubborn the man could be, so he didn’t question him further. In time, Wei Wuxian would tell him the truth, and Lan Wangji would support him through it when that time came. “Come on. I found a place for us to stay.”
They headed up the mountain, Wei Wuxian directing him to the mouth of a cave. “You want us to live in a cave?” he retorted incredulously.
“Hey! What’s wrong with a cave?”
Many things, Lan Wangji thought. But he couldn’t exactly be picky at the moment. Afterall, there were worse places they could end up, like back in the room the Wens imprisoned him in, or at the labor camp they rescued Wen Ning and the others from. He sat Wei Wuxian down and rolled out their bedding before helping him lay down.
“What are you giving me that look for?” Wei Wuxian asked, staring up at him from his place on the ground.
“What happened while you were in the Burial Mounds by yourself? Why are you so weak?” Lan Wangji said, sitting down next to his lover.
“Don’t worry about it,” Wei Wuxian replied, attempting to coax him to lie next to him. When Lan Wangji stubbornly refused his request, Wei Wuxian sighed. “It’s a common side effect from using demonic cultivation. It takes a toll on the body. And before you say anything-” Wei Wuxian lifted a hand, cutting off what Lan Wangji was about to say. “-no I’m not going to stop using it. It’s all I have.”
Lan Wangji sighed. He wanted to protest, to debate Wei Wuxian on that point, but in all honesty, he didn’t have a better answer to Wei Wuxian’s dilemma. He had no idea what one was supposed to do without a golden core. He had never experienced it before. And given their recent circumstances of defying the cultivation world and running away with war prisoners, most of which were non-cultivators, Lan Wangji needed as much help as he could get protecting the Wens.
“I still don’t like it,” Lan Wangji mumbled sourly after some time.
Wei Wuxian chuckled and finally coaxed him to lie down next to him. “I’m not asking you to like it. But if it makes you feel better, I will be sure not to push myself beyond my limits, alright?”
“The line of your limits is notoriously blurred.”
Wei Wuxian threw his head back and laughed. “I can’t get anything past you, can I?”
“Not a chance,” Lan Wangji replied with a small smile. He decided to let the topic of Wei Wuxian’s choice of cultivation go, not wanting to spoil the playful mood they had fallen into. He made a promise to himself though to keep a closer watch on his lover when they needed him to use demonic cultivation to ensure he wasn’t hurting himself.
When they finally settled, Wen Qing and A-Yuan arrived. Wen Ning was laying across Wen Qing’s back.
“Is it alright if he stays here? There’s more room for me to treat him, and he’s a bit more stable. Plus, until shelter is built, he really shouldn’t be staying out in the elements.”
“Of course,” Lan Wangji replied.
“Rich-gege!” A-Yuan exclaimed, running to Lan Wangji who sat up, his arms automatically opening to catch the boy. Wei Wuxian fell into a fit of giggles at the nickname, and Lan Wangji opted to ignore him. He adored the boy already, with his endless energy and silly nicknames that reminded him entirely too much of Wei Wuxian. Which reminded him, he had something he needed to talk to Wei Wuxian about.
“Hello, A-Yuan. I have something for you.”
“You do?”
“Mn.” He grabbed his pouch and pulled out a collection of animals carved from wood. A-Yuan squealed in delight at the sight of them.
“Thank you Rich-gege!” he exclaimed before claiming a corner to play with them.
“Lan Zhan, those weren’t on the list,” Wei Wuxian joked, resting his chin on Lan Wangji’s shoulder.
“He’s a child. He deserves to play.”
Wei Wuxian melted, burying his face into Lan Wangji’s back and wrapping his arms around his waist. “Aiya, Lan Zhan, who told you to be so cute?”
“Can you two not?” Wen Qing pleaded.
“Hey! If you don’t like it, you can leave! We claimed this cave,” Wei Wuxian replied indignantly.
“Fine. I’m done anyways. I’ll take A-Yuan with me. Please don’t do anything to scar my brother.”
“We won’t,” Lan Wangji assured. “Wei Ying,” he said once she had left.
“Yes, dear?”
“Why did you tell everyone to call me Wei-furen?”
“…do you not like it?”
“It’s not that I don’t like it,” Lan Wangji replied, ears red. “I’m simply wondering why.”
“Ah, it’s just a silly little fantasy,” Wei Wuxian said, suddenly embarrassed. Lan Wangji noticed how the man’s face turned beet red and he was unable to look him in the eyes. He gave him a pointed stare, unwilling to let this topic go. Wei Wuxian flopped back onto the mat and covered his face with his hands.
Lan Wangji undid his hair and laid onto the mat next to Wei Wuxian, facing him. “Tell me.”
Wei Wuxian sighed. “It would be nice, wouldn't it? To build our own sect. To oversee it together. To have a place to protect the Wens and train A-Yuan to be a strong cultivator. Maybe we can find other younglings like him, give them a place to belong. I’ve never wanted to start my own sect before, but with you and the Wens, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, especially if it meant keeping you all safe. But ah, who am I kidding? It’s a silly daydream. It’ll never happen.”
“It’s not silly,” Lan Wangji corrected quickly. “I would like that too, Wei Ying.”
“You would?”
He nodded. “Everyone saw me as an object after the war. You were the only one to see me as I truly am - a human, a cultivator. I would like the chance to be able to return to that life. I could teach the next generation as I would have had I not been taken away from my sect in the first place. And I want that with you. So much.”
Wei Wuxian stared at him silently, not sure how to respond, so he kissed him instead. Lan Wangji melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Wei Wuxian’s neck as he rolled them over, pinning him to the bed mat with his weight. Lan Wangji became lost in the sensation of lust. His lips tingled from their brutal kisses, and he felt heat pool in his belly, causing him to get excited.
That’s when he remembered a promise he had made to Wen Qing.
“Wei Ying, wait!” Lan Wangji hissed, pushing the man away slightly.
“What is it?” Wei Wuxian replied. His lips were swollen and red, his face flushed with heat. His hair was a disaster, compliments of Lan Wangji’s wandering hands, and he was clearly out of breath, panting again Lan Wangji’s parted lips. He was so caught up in how beautiful his lover looked that he almost forgot why he had pushed him away in the first place.
“We promised Wen Qing we wouldn’t do anything with her brother in the cave.”
Wei Wuxian’s smile turned devilish. “Then you best keep quiet.”
Before Lan Wangji could respond, Wei Wuxian latched onto a sensitive part of his neck, biting and sucking and licking it. Lan Wangji had to slap a hand over his mouth to keep himself from moaning loudly. Oh, Wei Wuxian was going to pay for that later.
The man smirked up at him before shimmying his way down his body, leaving hot, wet kisses in his wake. Lan Wangji couldn’t help but reminisce on the last time they had done this. Only this time, they knew of each other’s affections, and there was a certainty in this sort of thing happening many more times.
So, Lan Wangji laid back and allowed himself to enjoy it this time around and not be plagued by anxiety. Wei Wuxian grabbed his cock and wrapped his lips around it, slowly taking him in until he couldn’t fit anymore. He bobbed his head up and down, slowly at first, before picking up the pace.
Lan Wangji couldn’t help himself from bucking up into Wei Wuxian’s wet, hot mouth. It felt so good and he was slowly losing the battle for control over his body. His fist was practically in his mouth by this point in an attempt to muffle the embarrassing sounds that were crawling their way up his throat. Lan Wangji never would have expected that he’d be this noisy in bed considering he was quite quiet during the day.
While he was distracted, Wei Wuxian began pushing his fingers into his hole, starting with one, and then adding more. Lan Wangji’s eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head at the feeling of both his cock and hole being stimulated.
“Wei Ying,” he practically begged.
Wei Wuxian smiled around his cock and continued his assault.
“Wei Ying, I’m close,” he said desperately.
He could feel his climax building throughout his body. He was so close, so ready to fall into its welcoming arms, until Wei Wuxian pulled away. He nearly let out an embarrassing whine before remembering himself and the situation they were in.
“Why did you stop?” he growled. He didn’t particularly enjoy being teased. It’s probably why Wei Wuxian thought he hated him in their youth. He didn’t exactly keep his feelings on the matter under wraps.
“Don’t worry sweetheart,” Wei Wuxian cooed as he moved back up his body, placing a heated kiss against his lips. “We are just getting started.”
Before Lan Wangji could question what his plans were, the man seated himself fully inside Lan Wangji’s hole. Lan Wangji had to slap both of his hands over his mouth as he let out a cry, muffled thanks to his quick reflexes.
Wei Wuxian gave him a satisfied grin before pulling out and pushing in again, setting a rapid pace. Lan Wangji felt his climax return in full force, and he was soon spilling all over his stomach. He laid there, breathless, sweaty, and exhausted.
“Enjoy that, did we?” Wei Wuxian cooed, still plunged inside him and hard.
Lan Wangji glowered and wrapped his legs around Wei Wuxian’s waist, using all of his Lan strength to flip them over, switching positions. Wei Wuxian let out a grunt and looked up at him, silent and stunned.
Lan Wangji gave a satisfied smirk. “My turn,” he said and, without warning, began to lift himself off of Wei Wuxian’s cock before slamming down again.
Wei Wuxian let out a low moan that Lan Wangji quickly silenced by putting a hand over his mouth. “You best keep quiet,” Lan Wangji whispered, parroting Wei Wuxian’s words back to him. Wei Wuxian glared, but Lan Wangji paid him no mind, continuing to bounce on Wei Wuxian’s cock.
The moans Wei Wuxian released vibrated against Lan Wangji’s hand, giving him another sensation to Lan Wangji’s overstimulated body. Wei Wuxian began licking his palm, perhaps in an attempt to get him to remove it, but Lan Wangji refused. Instead, he stuck his pointer and middle finger into Wei Wuxian’s mouth, pushing it against the man’s tongue. Wei Wuxian began sucking on them hungrily and Lan Wangji let out a sigh of pleasure.
Lan Wangji’s legs began to ache as Wei Wuxian lapped and sucked on his fingers. He could feel his second climax coming, but he refused to spill over before Wei Wuxian did. He began clenching his hole around Wei Wuxian’s cock, causing his lover to throw his head back and let out an absolutely filthy moan around his fingers.
Lan Wangji didn’t have to wait much longer after that. With a few more thrusts, Wei Wuxian spilled inside of him with a soundless cry. The feeling caused Lan Wangji to climax also, spilling white tendrils all across the man’s stomach and chest. His arms and legs gave out then, and he fell heavily across Wei Wuxian’s front.
They laid there for a while, attempting to regain their breath and get their limbs in working order. Wei Wuxian was the first to move, placing a kiss on his forehead before ripping a cloth from some piece of fabric near him and cleaning the both of them up. When he had finished, he managed to wrestle an inner robe onto a limp Lan Wangji before putting one on himself and curling up next to him.
Lan Wangji sighed contently as he laid against Wei Wuxian’s chest, feeling for the first time in a long time that he was home.
—
Weeks turned into months at the Burial Mounds. Not a day went by where they weren't doing something. The couple helped the Wens build cottages and furniture. They planted seeds and watched them, miraculously, grow into crops, something that should have been impossible given where they lived. He listened as Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing argued over which crops to grow the following year now that they knew the soil wasn’t useless. Wei Wuxian was begging to grow potatoes, but Wen Qing was firm on growing radishes. They often attempted to bring Lan Wangji into the conversation to get his opinion, but he always had a sudden emergency when the conversation turned to him.
When he wasn’t fighting with Wen Qing, Wei Wuxian spent most of his time holed up in their cave.
“Home,” Wei Wuxian corrected him.
“Calling it a home doesn’t mean it is suddenly not a cave,” Lan Wangji shot back, unimpressed, causing Wei Wuxian to pout.
His love spent time working on creative protective talismans for their home (cave). Lan Wangji wrote books of helpful information that he had memorized from the Cloud Recesses library in his spare time to begin making one of their own.
From what he had learned from his brother, the Cloud Recesses library was burned down with the rest of his sect the night he was taken by the Wens, so these books may be the only remnants left of the information that was once so readily available. Perhaps he could share these books with his brother someday and begin to restore the Lan Clan library as well.
It took Wen Ning some time to heal, but he made a full recovery. Wen Qing had spent countless days and nights feeding him a concoction of herbs and sewing up his injuries. He woke a few weeks after they had settled in the Burial Mounds and, luckily for Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s sake, did not remember anything while he was unconscious. He had yet to stop thanking Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji every chance he got for coming to rescue him. Wei Wuxian started running away the minute he said ‘thank.’ They appreciated his gratitude, but they did what any good man would do. Plus neither Wei Wuxian or Lan Wangji were good at taking compliments from others.
Once her brother was fully healed, Wen Qing created a small doctor's office in case of emergency, and Wen Ning served as her assistant on occasion. Thankfully, it wasn’t often utilized, except in the case of Wei Wuxian. He became her most frequent patient on account that he often forgot to eat and sleep when he was on the verge of a discovery. He finally got the point once Wen Qing had scolded Lan Wangji as well for not being able to get the man to do the bare minimum when it came to his health. Wei Wuxian stopped needing to go after that. Leave it to Wei Wuxian to not care about himself until Lan Wangji was brought into his messes.
Building a sect was long and hard work, but Lan Wangji loved every second of it. He basked in being called Wei-furen, though he would never admit it outloud. Wei Wuxian saw right through him though, giving him a knowing smirk everytime he responded after being addressed as such.
He loved walking through the markets side by side with Wei Wuxian, catching the eyes of several people as they walked past. Despite their simple clothes and calloused hands, they were still a sight to behold, beautiful in every sense of the word. With the success of their crops, they were able to make a steady enough income to survive and then some. Wei Wuxian made true to his word, spoiling him with little trinkets here and there. Slowly but surely, his collection of jewels and hair pins began to grow. The members of their sect wouldn’t let it go unnoticed either, always making some kind of comment when Wei-furen appeared wearing a new gift from his lover. Lan Wangji blamed the redness of his cheeks on the long exposure to the sun.
He delighted in teaching A-Yuan. With his being so young, there wasn’t much he could learn. But Lan Wangji didn’t let that deter him. He taught him how to meditate and regulate. He told him stories about his sect and the history of the Lan Clan. He made sure the boy still had fun though, often taking the time to play with the wooden animals he had purchased for him or flying a kite on a blustery day. Lan Wangji’s favorite thing though was waking up next to A-Yuan and Wei Wuxian. They boy began spending the night with them suddenly. Wen Qing tried to get him to sleep somewhere else, but the boy refused, turning big, wet tears towards Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian and asking them why they didn’t love him. How were they supposed to send him away after that?
“He’s a little manipulator he is,” Wei Wuxian said one night after the boy had fallen asleep. “He’s got you wrapped around his little finger.”
“I’m sorry, who was the one that brought back a bag full of candy when he was only supposed to get medicine for Wen Qing?”
“…Rude. Fine, okay, he’s got us both wrapped around his finger.”
“Agreed.” He rubbed a thumb against the sleeping boy’s chubby cheek. The boy wiggled a bit before pushing his cheek against the warmth of Lan Wangji’s palm and falling back into a deep sleep. “But I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Wei Wuxian looked at the pair of them with such love and adoration, Lan Wangji’s heart almost burst. “Me too, Lan Zhan.”
From that point on, they brought A-Yuan to their bed every night, unless planned otherwise.
Things were good. They were happy. They were safe.
Then came a disturbance at their border. It had been the first disturbance since they had settled here. Lan Wangji was helping tend to the crops when they were alerted of the disturbance. The group all froze in shock and fear. He did his best to reassure them all before calling Bichen and running to Wei Wuxian’s side. The man had a dark, dangerous look on his face. Who had dared to come and hurt their sect? While he didn’t believe it, Lan Wangji thought his love was an amazing sect leader.
He grabbed Wei Wuxian’s hand as they approached, reminding him that he wasn’t alone. Wei Wuxian's previous facade fell away as he smiled softly at his partner. They then made their way through the last of the trees only to stand in shock upon seeing what was on the other side.
“Brother,” Lan Wangji whispered in surprise before running to him and giving him a hug. He didn’t care how many rules he was breaking. It had been far too long since he’d seen his brother, and longer still since he’d set foot in the Cloud Recesses. He’d changed so much during that time, especially with Wei Wuxian making him more comfortable with openly displaying affection. Lan Xichen seemed surprised, but hugged him tightly nonetheless.
“What are you doing here?” Wei Wuxian asked, still in defense mode despite it being their brothers.
“We’re here to check on you, idiot,” Jiang Cheng said, looking ticked. “You disappeared without a trace. We’ve been looking for you for months.”
“How did you find us?” Lan Wangji asked, pulling out of the hug.
Lan Xichen gave him a confused look. “You wrote to us.”
Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian looked at one another. “I can assure you we didn’t,” Wei Wuxian replied.
“Then who did?”
“I did,” Wen Qing said from behind them. They all looked at her in shock. “Well, are you going to invite them in? We’ve got a lot to talk about.”
They went to Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian’s home (cave) as it was the most private. He prepared tea and watched as his brother struggled to hold his tongue at the state of their home (cave). Jiang Cheng had no such qualms.
“Are you telling me you ran away from a perfectly good sect just to live in a cave?”
“Hey! It’s not a cave,” Wei Wuxian said defensively. “It’s our home, right Lan Zhan?”
Lan Wangji looked at his brother and Jiang Cheng, before returning his gaze to Wei Wuxian. His lover had only himself to blame for putting him on the spot. “You know how I feel about the cave.”
Wei Wuxian gasped dramatically as Jiang Cheng laughed. Even Lan Xichen smiled.
“Lan Zhan, how you wound me so with your words!” He collapsed dramatically against Lan Wangji’s side. Lan Wangji let out a huff at his antics.
“Can we get back to the matter at hand?” Wen Qing interrupted.
“Which is-”
“We can’t keep hiding forever,” she explained. Wei Wuxian tried to protest, but she raised a hand to stop him. “The longer we hide, the more they are going to think we are up to something. They already distrust us for who we are. The best course of action would be to show them that we mean no harm.”
“Showing us may not be enough,” Lan Xichen replied as Lan Wangji poured them all tea. It was nothing fancy, and certainly not the standard the sect leaders were used to, but it was something and that was enough.
“How come?” Wei Wuxian asked.
“Jin Guangshan is going on about the weapon you used to win the war, Wei-gongzi. He’s saying that you’re building an army and as long as you have it, you’re a threat.”
Lan Wangji looked at Wei Wuxian questioningly. He had no idea what weapon they were referring to. Was it Chenqing? Surely the great Jin sect weren’t afraid of a mere bamboo flute.
Wei Wuxian sighed, avoiding Lan Wangji’s questioning glance. “The Yin Tiger Seal. I created it and used it during the war. It allows the holder to control any fierce corpse nearby. But, unlike other spiritual tools, the seal belongs to no one, so anyone can yield it,” Wei Wuxian explained to Lan Wangji, finally meeting his gaze.
Lan Wangji was floored. He knew Wei Wuxian was a genius, but he never knew he was capable of creating such a weapon. That wasn’t at all within his character. But then again, the war had changed many people. He had to keep reminding himself of that. Desperate times called for desperate measures, and if it weren’t for Wei Wuxian creating and using the Yin Tiger Seal to win the war, he may still be trapped at the Wens, or worse, dead. He supposed he should be grateful, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.
Wei Wuxian turned to address Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen. “I kept it because I don’t trust Jin Guangshan, not because I want it. If anything, I’d rather it be destroyed, but I don’t know how. So, I’m holding onto it until I can figure that out.”
The group went silent as a feeling of unease fell over them. There seemed to be no one way out of this mess. No matter how hard they tried to convince Jin Guangshan that Wei Wuxian had no intention of using the seal, he would never believe him. And given his history, Lan Wangji had no doubt that the man wouldn’t stop harassing them until he got his hands on said seal. It seemed like a never ending distrust among the cultivation clans. Once one had more power than the others, they became the target of scrutiny, even if their intentions are just and pure.
“So, what do we do now?” Jiang Cheng asked eventually.
Lan Wangji looked around their home (cave), the one they had painstakingly made together. He didn’t want to lose this. He didn’t want to lose the only place that truly felt like home since he was taken from the Cloud Recesses. He didn’t want to lose his family, both his blood and the one he chose. He didn’t want to lose Wei Ying, the one he loved above all else, the one he’d pined for since he was fifteen. He didn’t want to let go of their shared dream of building a sect and living out the rest of their days together, of training A-Yuan into becoming the best cultivator of his generation, of providing a safe space for anyone seeking out a different and better life.
Wei Wuxian must have noticed his shift in mood. He took his hand in his and gave him what was meant to be a comforting smile, but it mostly came across as sad. Lan Wangji looked at their joined hands. It wasn’t fair. Why did the gods keep bringing good things into his life only to take them away. Why did they tempt him with a promising future only for it to crumble around him. Had he not paid his dues? What had he done in a past life to make the gods so angry that they were punishing him like this in his current life? He began to feel hopeless, the same kind of hopelessness he felt when he was imprisoned at the Wens. Just as he was about to give up, a flicker of hope sparked in his heart and an idea hit him.
“Have the sects come,” Lan Wangji said suddenly.
Lan Xichen sighed sadly. “Wangji, I told you-”
“Have the sects come for a wedding,” Lan Wangji interrupted, looking at Wei Wuxian who sat stunned. “Wei Ying can hand over the tiger seal to the Lan clan after the wedding and work with them on finding a way to destroy it. The Cloud Recesses had one of the most extensive libraries in the world, surely there must be something or someone within the sect to help us destroy it.”
“Lan Zhan, I don’t think the library had much on demonic cultivation, other than ‘don’t practice it,’” Wei Wuxian said.
“You’re smart, Wei Ying. I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” he crooned in response.
Wei Wuxian flushed at his words. He bashfully avoided making eye contact with Lan Wangji. Lan Wangji couldn’t help but smirk at his lover's reaction. He loved being able to cause the shameless man to lose face over a couple of sweet words.
“Handing over the seal may not be enough,” Jiang Cheng said, ignoring his brother’s crisis of love.
“You’re right. So, after the wedding, we’ll also announce the establishment of the Wei sect.”
Everyone froze in surprise, with the exception of Wei Wuxian, who looked hopeful.
“Why?” Wen Qing asked.
“Establishing ourselves as a sect would open the door for alliances and collaboration. With sects being allowed to openly come visit and stay at our sect, they will see that we have nothing to hide. Besides, it’s better to back a sect than a group of runaways and disgraced cultivators. This is the best way to keep everyone safe and to show them who we really are, which is far from a threat.”
“Do you think that’ll be enough to stop them?” Lan Xichen asked.
“Of course. With the first disciple of Yunmeng Jiang and the second heir to the Gusu Lan as its leaders, we already have the backing of two great sects. And without the tiger seal, we pose no real threat to the cultivation world, as less than a handful of us are cultivators. Attacking us would only put a target on the sect’s back and lead to distrust among their peers and the people, if not another war, and considering how the last one fared, I doubt anyone wants that.”
The group sat in silence for several beats, considering Lan Wangji’s proposal. Lan Wangji felt slightly shaky with anxiety. Perhaps there was a better idea, but Lan Wangji sure as hell couldn’t think of one, and he doubted anyone else could either. But the longer they sat in silence, the more anxious he became.
“Lan Zhan, sweetheart, have I ever told you that you’re a genius?” Wei Wuxian said with a beaming smile that radiated pride and love.
Lan Wangji felt his anxiety melt away in the presence of Wei Wuxian’s beauty. “This is the first I’m hearing of it,” Lan Wangji joked. Wei Wuxian squawked in protest as Lan Wangji smiled.
“This might actually work,” Lan Xichen said, hope bleeding into his voice. Lan Wangji can’t remember the last time he’d seen his brother so hopeful. It was constantly one blow after another since the attack on the Cloud Recesses. Eventually, that weighed on a person, and he could tell that his brother was simply going through the motions, waiting for the next hit. But now, there was a light at the end of the tunnel.
They spent the rest of the evening planning. It was decided that Jiang Cheng would send the wedding invites as Lan Xichen was to make it clear to everyone that they considered Lan Wangji an heir to the Lan sect. After all was said and done for the time being, Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian walked their brothers to the border, saying heartfelt goodbyes.
“This is going to work,” Lan Xichen whispered in his ear as the pair hugged.
“I know,” Lan Wangji replied. For the first time in a long time, he actually believed the words he was saying.
“A-Zhan, I’m happy for you and Wei-gongzi. You make us proud everyday. Don’t ever forget that.”
Lan Wangji tried to subtly wipe the tears from his eyes as he watched the sect leaders disappear into the night. If Wei Wuxian noticed him crying, he didn’t mention it, instead taking his hand and leading them back home (cave).
They announced their intention to marry the following morning. The Wens were ecstatic, their happiness only dampened slightly by the news that the other sects would be invited as well. Still, they trusted their leaders to keep them safe, so they got to work making things look presentable and to hold enough space for the incoming influx of people. Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian, Wen Qing, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen discussed how they could get the sects to come to the wedding without a fear of being ambushed. It took some time, but they eventually came up with a solution.
Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji tried to help prepare for the wedding, but they were often shooed away, told to spend time together and not stress about the finer details of the wedding.
Despite their words, Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji hardly got a moment alone together. Between coordinating with their respective sects regarding the politics of this whole ordeal, and being whisked off for robe fittings and supply gathering, they really only got to see each other in the evening where they usually immediately fell asleep, exhausted from a long day of wedding planning.
On one rare night where they weren’t so exhausted as to immediately pass out once their head hit the pillow, Lan Wangji said, “I’m sorry.”
Wei Wuxian paused and gave him a confused look. “What for Lan Zhan?”
“For springing marriage on you. I never asked if that was something you wanted.”
Wei Wuxian took his face in his hands. “Sweetheart, don’t apologize. I’m thrilled you proposed!”
“…really?”
“Yeah. Truthfully I’m more upset that you beat me to it. I had a pretty romantic proposal planned. You would’ve cried and everything.”
“…you can still do it if you wish.”
Wei Wuxian did not, in fact, have a proposal planned, he later found out. While he had considered the idea several times, it apparently never managed to go any further, as his anxieties inevitably won with a mantra of ‘Lan Wangji would never agree to marry you.’ So when he did finally propose, it was spur of the moment, but just as romantic as he had promised.
The pair were laying in the grass on a beautiful day near a stream after having escaped Wen Qing and her one thousand questions regarding the wedding. They two were silent, looking up at the sky and enjoying the cool breeze and sounds of nature. Lan Wangji closed his eyes and felt himself drift off into a peaceful, much needed name when suddenly Wei Wuxian moved next to him. He opened his eyes to find Wei Wuxian looming over him, a soft, loving smile gracing his face.
“What?” Lan Wangji asked after the man had stared at him silently for several minutes.
Wei Wuxian chuckled. “Nothing, it’s just… Never in all my years did I ever think I could have this, have you. And now here we are, building our lives together, building a sect together, and sometimes I wonder if it’s all just a dream. Maybe I actually died in the Burial Mounds and everything since then has just been in my head, a projection of what I really want.”
Lan Wangji scoffed, pushing a finger against Wei Wuxian’s forehead. “I think all those sleepless nights are finally catching up to you and your brain is fried. I’m real, this is real, it’s all real.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because I don’t have half the imagination that you do to dream up something as wonderful as this.”
Wei Wuxian laughed, grabbing Lan Wangji’s hand and placing a kiss on the back of it. “Still, whether this is a really good dream or real life, I promise not to waste a single second. I promise to love you even when you wake up grumpy. I promise to protect you until my last breath. I promise to make you happy, really happy, like so happy you forget what being sad even feels like.”
Lan Wangji’s heart beat fast as his breathing stopped. “Wei Ying?”
Wei Wuxian beamed. “Lan Zhan, marry me.”
Lan Wangji of course said yes, and he did, in fact, cry, so it was a win for everyone involved.
The wedding was held a few months later on a day that everyone agreed was auspicious. Together, the pair took their bows on the dirt of the sect they built together. Lan Wangji had secretly dreamed of his wedding when he was young, and never had he thought it would look like this. But it was perfect, more perfect than any childhood dream.
When the ceremony finished, the festivities began. Usually, one of them would be forced to wait in their home (cave) for the other, but as they were both men and had some important news to share, they disregarded that tradition.
About halfway through the revelries, Wei Wuxian got everyone's attention and announced that he would be working with the Lans to destroy the seal and their intention to create a sect.
“What are you doing?” Wei Wuxian asked one evening while they were preparing for bed.
“Brother brought some books that managed to escape the fire of the Lan Clan library. He thought there might be something in one of them that might help us destroy the seal. I offered to help him look.”
“I see,” Wei Wuxian replied, coming up behind him and placing a kiss on his cheek. “Well, don’t spend too long wrapped up in your reading. You have a very needy lover that would like to cuddle with you as soon as possible.”
Lan Wangji chuckled and shook his head, but he promised Wei Wuxian he would join him once he completed looking through the book he was holding.
The candles were dim by the time he managed to finish it. Just as he was about to throw it on the stack of books that weren’t helpful, he came across a musical score that he had never seen before. As he looked over the notes, his heart seized. He couldn’t believe it.
“Wei Ying!” Lan Wangji exclaimed.
“What?! What is it?!” Wei Wuxian jumped to his feet in a flash, grabbing Chenqing in the process and holding it out in front of him, ready for a fight.
“I found it! I found a way to destroy the seal!”
Wei Wuxian deflated in relief at his words, grumbling about Lan Wangji trying to kill him before they’re even married, and shuffled his way over. He grabbed the book from Lan Wangji, his eyebrows furrowing as he read. Lan Wangji watched anxiously. He was certain this score could work, but it had been some time since he had practiced musical cultivation, and he could have read it wrong.
“It’s complicated,” Wei Wuxian said finally.
“Yes,” Lan Wangji replied, hopeful. That wasn’t a dismissal.
“And it will take a lot of energy to pull off.”
“Naturally.”
“And I’ll have to use demonic cultivation to pull this off, which will take a toll on my body.”
“I suspected as much. But Wei Ying, will it work?”
Wei Wuxian smiled, wrapping an arm around his waist and placing a kiss against his temple. “I think so. Good job, sweetheart.”
Lan Wangji could cry, he was so happy. Soon, the seal would be destroyed, their sect would be built, and they could be free.
As expected,there was some protest, mainly from Jin Guangshan. However, they were prepared and managed to retort every “concern” that was brought up, causing Jin Guangshan to turn purple in rage. Lan Wangji couldn’t have asked for a better wedding present from the Jins, he thought smugly.
Overall, most were in favor of the establishment of the Wei Sect, especially when Nie Mingjue threatened to burn any sect to the ground who dared harm them. He gave Lan Wangji a knowing look after his threat and winked. It warmed his heart to know that Nie Mingjue still believed and looked out for him. It made Wei Wuxian stupidly jealous.
After the ceremony and pleasantries were out of the way, the couple retired to their home (cave). Lan Wangji felt his heart flutter, adrenaline coursing through his veins as they made their way back. They were practically running, something his Uncle would have scolded him for were he to see them. But his Uncle was back with the other sects, and right now, it was just him and his husband.
When they returned to their home (cave), Wei Wuxian pushed Lan Wangji against the wall. Lan Wangji moaned into the kiss, wrapping his arms and legs around Wei Wuxian. Wei Wuxian groped his ass, trailing kisses down his neck. Lan Wangji threw his head back against the wall as Wei Wuxian sucked on that particularly sensitive spot on his neck that Wei Wuxian loved to latch onto whenever he got the chance. His body tingled, liquid fire flowing through his body. No matter how many times they did this, it was no less extraordinary.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji gasped.
“You’re so beautiful, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian said between kisses. “You sound so beautiful. Want to hear more of you.”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said again, unable to say anything else.
Wei Ying moved him from the cave wall to deposit him onto their bed, taking a step back so he could rid himself of his wedding robes. Lan Wangji’s mouth watered as he took in the sight of the red cloth against tanned skin. Before he knew it, Wei Wuxian had dropped his trousers, revealing his hard cock. His hole clenched at the memories of being stretched out by said cock. He could almost feel it, like a phantom pain. He wanted it so badly.
Wei Wuxian crawled onto the bed, pulling back each layer of Lan Wangji’s clothes slowly. Eventually, he was in nothing but his trousers.Wei Wuxian united them and pulled them down before spreading his legs. Lan Wangji flushed as his cock bounced against his stomach, hard and leaking.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying praised, kissing his way up Lan Wangji’s leg. “I want to hurt anyone else that’s seen you this way.”
Lan Wangji held back from rolling his eyes. Wei Wuxian knew well enough now that there was no one else before him. They were each other’s first. Still, for some strange reason, Wei Wuxian liked to role-play that they weren’t. Were Lan Wangji not in the haze of passion, he would comment on it, but right now, he wasn’t sure he could speak.
“Fuck.” Wei Wuxian dipped between Lan Wangji’s legs, grabbing the back of his thigh to push them towards his chest, and jammed his tongue into Lan Wangji’s hole.
Lan Wangji threw his head back in a silent cry. He squirmed against the bed, moaning and panting as Wei Wuxian lapped at his hole greedily. His vision went white as he added a finger next to his tongue. Lan Wangji had never felt so wanton. He slid his hand towards his cock, but Wei Wuxian slapped it away.
“Not yet, sweetheart,” he said with a smirk. He kneeled on the bed and dragged Lan Wangji closer to align his hole with his cock. He keened as the tip pushed against his clenching hole. Wei Wuxian reached for a clay jar on the floor and opened it, pouring oil over his cock and Lan Wangji’s entrance. Once he was adequately lathered up, he pushed himself in slowly.
Lan Wangji cried out at the mix of pleasure and pain. No matter how often they did it, the first penetration always took him by surprise.
“Shh, relax, sweetheart. You’re doing great. So good for me. So perfect.”
Lan Wangji felt his muscles loosen at the praise, feeling safe and cared for. He felt tears roll down his cheeks as Wei Wuxian pushed in further. Wei Wuxian cooed, kissing each teardrop away.
Finally, he was seated fully in Lan Wangji. He felt himself relax before Wei Wuxian pulled out and slammed back in. His back arched off the bed as he let out a loud moan. He gripped Wei Wuxian’s shoulders as he pounded into him. He met Wei Wuxian’s thrusts each time, pushing down onto his cock. Electricity sparked up and down his arms as Wei Wuxian hit his prostate. He begged, moaned, cried for more, egging Wei Wuxian on even further until he was cumming all over his stomach untouched. Wei Wuxian grunted and followed soon after, spilling into him. The sensation made Lan Wangji moan in pleasure.
Wei Wuxian collapsed on top of him, trying to catch his breath. Lan Wangji wrapped his arms around him, burying his face into his neck and kissing it lightly. Wei Wuxian chuckled, rolling them over so they were both lying on their side. He peppered kisses all over Lan Wangji’s face.
“You were so good, husband, the best.” He kissed Lan Wangji sweetly on the lips. “Can't believe I get to keep you forever.”
Lan Wangji could hardly believe it either.
They spent several more nights doing much of the same, and didn’t make an appearance until days later. No one came to check on them, and they didn’t bother checking on anyone else. They deserved this after all they had been through. Besides, Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen were there if there was trouble, and no one messed with Wen Qing, so the sect was more than likely safe and sound.
When they did finally leave their den, they found Jiang and Lan disciples scattered around the grounds, bringing everything from timber to furniture to silks. They stared, baffled at the scene before them. There were no longer huts but actual homes and wings of a sect. How long had they stayed in the home (cave)?
“Your dowry,” Lan Xichen said, startling the both of them. He placed a hand on his younger brother’s shoulder. “If you’re going to make a sect, you need it to look good.”
So, after many more months and many helping hands, the Wei Sect was built.
—
So in awe there I stood as you
Licked off the grain
Though I've handled the wood
I still worship the flame
Long as amber of ember glows
All the wood that I'd loved is long ago
—
(Epilogue - Several Years Later)
The bell sounded, and Lan Wangji dismissed his class for the day, waving in response to the tiny exclamations of “Goodbye Wei-furen!” He watched the small children waddle their way out of the door, running and shouting. In the Cloud Recesses, they’d be scolded, but the Wei Sect had no such rules against running and loud noises. In fact, Wei Wuxian had forbidden such a rule from being created, not that Lan Wangji was protesting. Afterall, it had been many years since he had lived in the Cloud Recesses, and the longer he stayed away, the more disillusioned he became with his clan's rules.
He gathered the supplies and short stack of paper on his desk. The classes he taught were small, as there weren’t many young members, but the sect was growing, slowly but surely. He was sure, given a few more years, they would need to find more teachers as he’d be too overwhelmed. He stepped out of the classroom where A-Yuan was waiting for him.
“Are you finished, a-die?” A-Yuan asked.
“Yes, let’s go.”
The two walked through the sect to his private rooms, which still happened to be in the cave. Over time, it had grown on him, mainly due to the fact that Wei Wuxian desperately wanted it to be their home and kept referring to it as such. The outside and inside had been renovated to look more like the room of a sect leader than a cave. It was nice, and looked nothing like the place Wei Wuxian had claimed as theirs when they first stumbled into the Burial Mounds. He still referred to it as a cave though, mostly just to annoy his husband.
At some point, A-Yuan reached for his hand, pulling him out of his thoughts, and Lan Wangji allowed him to hold it. A-Yuan was well into his training now, with his red and black robes that were just a tad big, and his hair pulled back with a white ribbon, a staple of the Wei Sect. Lan Wangji couldn’t believe how quickly time had flown by. A-Yuan was no longer the small toddler that he would buy toys for at the market or who his husband would bury in the dirt. He was no longer the boy that wiggled his way in between Lan Wangji and his husband every night. He was nearly a young man, just as independent as Wei Wuxian and every bit as stubborn as Lan Wangji. Sometimes, he forgot that A-Yuan was not related to them by blood. Wen Qing argued they might as well be, from how eerily the boy was like them.
They walked into Lan Wangji’s home (cave) to find Wei Wuxian bent over his desk, a frustrated expression on his face. His husband looked as beautiful as ever in his black and red silk robes adorned with intricate gold embroidery, his hair loose, partly held back by a white ribbon, keeping the strands that got in the way of his work out of his face. He looked up as they walked into the room and beamed.
“Ah, is it dinner time already?”
Lan Wangji nodded, leaning over the desk to kiss his husband hello. A-Yuan groaned in disgust behind them, but they ignored it. The boy had seen them do far worse things (i.e. cringy). He should be used to it by now. Afterall, he was the one that wanted to spend all his spare time in their room as a child.
The trio opted to eat in their room tonight to celebrate Wei Wuxian’s birthday. Tomorrow there would be a large celebration with cultivators coming from all over to celebrate Wei Ying’s birthday. But for today, it was just the three of them.
When they finished, they sent A-Yuan to his room next door and got ready for bed. Lan Wangji took off his robes, white silk with gold embroidery that matched his husband’s robes, and a red robe underneath. He pulled the white ribbon out of his hair, and brushed through it with his fingers. He gently placed the flower hair pin Wei Wuxian had gifted him years ago into a wooden box. It still shined as brightly as the day he’d received it, and was just as beautiful and meaningful. They had enough money now for Wei Wuxian to buy him a hundred expensive hair pins, and his husband had tried, but Lan Wangji only needed this one.
He crossed the room and crawled into bed next to Wei Wuxian.
“Hello ai ren,” Wei Wuxian said with a large smile.
Lan Wangji smiled in return. “Hello husband. Happy birthday.”
Wei Wuxian pulled him close. “Happy indeed. I have my Wei-furen, my son, my family, my sect…what could be better than this?”
“Still think it’s a dream?”
Wei Wuxian groaned. “You’re never going to let me forget that, are you.” Lan Wangji smiled and shook his head. “Not even on my birthday? What gives, Lan Zhan? I thought you said it was romantic?”
“I can think something is both romantic and stupid,” Lan Wangji replied.
“Why you-” He grasped at Lan Wangji’s side, tickling him in retaliation until he was a laughing, crying mess. After pleading mercy, Wei Wuxian stopped, pulling him against his chest instead and kissing the crown on his head.
Lan Wangji nuzzled into the crook of his husband’s neck. If this was a dream, he hoped they never woke up (though he’ll never admit to thinking such).
–
Home had looked different to Lan Wangji throughout the years. Home looked like a lonely cottage separated from the rest of his clan that he visited once a month. Home looked like a solitary room that he retreated to when he needed to think. Home looked like a dark, cold cell where he both held onto and lost hope. Home looked like a cozy room at the end of a pier with figures carved into the wood. Home looked like a large, damp cave with hundreds of candles and a figure slumped over a rock mumbling to himself and throwing paper around the room. Home looked like the skeleton of a great sect being built by hundreds of loving hands.
Now, home looked like a tall man with raven hair and a beautiful smile, with a growing boy standing next to him, re-telling a truly horrendous joke that had them both in stitches.
When Wei Wuxian asked him one night as they laid together, a tangle of limbs and bruised skin, what home looked like to Lan Wangji, his answer was simple.
“You.”
And nothing in heaven nor earth could ever take him away from his home again.
—
That's not tonight
I'm set alight
And I blink inside
Your blinding light
Oh, that's not tonight
You hold me tight
All the fire bright
Oh, let it blaze alright, honey
Oh, hope that you're good to me
Oh, you're good to me
Hope that you're good to me, baby