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I pride myself to be pretty observant, really, nothing goes past me. Therefore it was only normal for me to worry when both Remus and Sirius were single for a long time and didn't even have a date on Valentine's Day. So I decided to take matters into my own hands. I told Peter about my suspicions that both Remus and Sirius have secret girlfriends (I KNOW SICK RIGHT), of course, he got just as hurt when I told him, as I got when I figured it out. Why didn't they tell us about them? We wouldn't tease them THAT much. But after a while of them still not telling us about their dating life, I came up with a plan. It was pretty simple, Peter and I would both pretend to be busy on valentines so that when we leave them alone, they are both gonna think 'AHA now I can go to my girlfriend, and bring her back to our dorm because our awesome friends aren’t there right now’, but we (the awesome friends) aren't actually busy, not at all, because after an hour or so, we will sneak back to our dorm and catch them with their partners.
Peter thought it was an awesome idea.
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Tuesday:
"Hey moony, pads, me and Peter are busy on Saturday, so you will have our whole dorm for YOURSELVES, cool huh?"
Both Remus and Sirius gave me an odd, and slightly concerned, look, especially at my little outburst at the word 'yourselves', I might have said that word so loud that the whole hall heard me, but it doesn't matter, I needed them to understand what I was suggesting.
"Ehh, okay prongs, err can I ask what you two are gonna do?", Sirius looked confused, especially when I and Peter fist-bumped.
"Oh nothing important, we just don't want to be with you guys, you're pretty boring!"
Remus was so shocked that the arm he had around Sirius fell from his shoulders.
Wednesday:
Both Remus and Sirius have avoided us nearly the whole day, but that wasn't something I, nor Peter wasn't used to. They sneak off pretty often actually, and they have done it for the last year…
"OMG PETER, REMUS AND SIRIUS HAVE BEEN DATING THEIR SECRET GIRLFRIENDS FOR MORE THAN A YEAR"
I shook Peter's shoulders, he needed to understand how horrible this is, they have hidden their relationships from us for a long time, not just a couple of weeks, and we were supposed to be their best friends!
"Yes I see the problem James, but we will get our revenge, WE WILL GET OUR ANSWERS"
The whole great hall was staring at us now, but that didn't matter, it was only good that they realised our urgency.
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Thursday:
Lily was weird, I don't mean that as an insult, she was perfectly perfect, but she was acting weird. Ever since she found out about mine and Peter's quest, she has been unable to look at us without laughing, I even think she muttered something similar to 'men, so oblivious, girlfriends? Poor Remus and Sirius', but I probably heard it wrong. She probably talked about how hot I was... Or maybe, she already KNEW about moonys and pads secret girlfriends, OMG THAT TRAITOR!
"REMUS, SIRIUS, YOU TOLD LILY BUT NOT US?", They jumped apart at my little outburst and stared at me.
"YEAH, HOW DARE YOU GUYS",
Now they were staring at wormtail instead. But that didn't matter, how did Wormy know what I was talking about?
"OMG WORMY CAN YOU READ MY THOUGHTS?"
"NO, I JUST THOUGHT THAT YOU PROBABLY WERE TALKING ABOUT YOU KNOW WHOS PARTNERS"
"OMG YOU’RE SO FUCKING SMART, I LOVE YOU PETE- WAIT LILY, I LOVE YOU MORE DON’T WORRY!", Lily started beating herself with her book.
"CAN YOU GUYS STOP SCREAMING AND TELL US WTF YOU GUYS ARE ON ABOUT, WHAT DID WE TELL LILY AND NOT YOU!!!"
"Omg Remus no need to shout, no need to yell, and why would we tell you guys, when you won’t even tell us about YOUR OWN secret! That's right, we know" I was pretty proud of my little speech, but Remus and Sirius looked more scared than surprised.
"You know about our secret?" Sirius ' hesitant voice made me angry, OF COURSE, WE KNEW, DOES HE THINK WE’RE STUPID OR SOMETHING?
"Of course, we know you fuckers, why do you think we’re leaving you guys alone on Saturday?".
I stormed off. Peter followed me.
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Friday:
"Hey prongs, we’re sorry for not telling you guys, but we were a little worried that you guys wouldn't understand,'' Sirius' hand was on Remus’s leg when he spoke, did I worry Remus? What was there to not understand?
"Hey guys, it's chill, why would you guys be worried? It's not like we would get jealous or anything?" Peter voiced my question before I got to it.
"Exactly, we would never care about that stuff"
Both Remus and Sirius relaxed at my words (though Sirius' hand never left Remus' lap).
"But we will still leave you guys alone tomorrow, so you can have a little fun", Remus started blushing at my words. Sirius looked both coy and horrified.
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Saturday (Valentine’s Day):
I and Peter had just left them alone, and we decided to head to the library, so we won't risk hearing them meet their girlfriends, and then see them sneaking away. Hopefully one of them will stay in our dorm, so that we can catch them.
"James, Peter, wait!", we both turned around to see an out-of-breath Lily running towards us.
"I just wanted to tell you guys how proud I am of you for taking it so well, and not treating them any differently or hating them", I smiled at Lily and felt my heart go warm. She was proud of me! Or us, but I was half of it, and it was my plan!
"Of course Lily, we understand, I would have never hated Moony and Padfoot for such a trivial thing, I wonder why they thought that", Lily's smile only grew at my words, and I felt even prouder.
"Yeah but you know, it is the seventies, people aren’t so good against gay people, not good at all actually, and I mean they are your best friends, they didn't want you guys to hate them for dating", Lily’s voice faltered in the end when she saw my surprised and confused face, and Peter's horrified.
"GAY, DATING, what are you talking about?!", now it was Lily's time to look confused at my words.
"Yeah..? That's their secret, that they’re dating, what, did you guys think they had secret girlfriends or something", she probably said the last thing as a joke, but when she saw our dumbstruck faces, she understood it wasn’t, "OMG YOU GUYS THOUGHT THEY HAD SECRET GIRLFRIENDS?!"
"They don't?", Peter's small voice made Lily look even more shocked.
"You guys must be the stupidest people I know, of course they’re dating! Why do you think they’re always touching? Honestly, I pity the girls who will fall in love with you guys", she promptly left us alone in the corridor.
Omg, that's why they were touching all the time, they were in love! Or is she only saying that to ruin our plan to confront them?
"Come on Peter, let's go back to our dorm"
We started running down the corridors and swiftly made our way up to our room. Of course, she was only playing with us, maybe Remus and Sirius figured out our plan, and were too ashamed of their girlfriends, so they sent Lily to confuse us and take up our time so we will be too late to expose them! Ha losers, little do they know that tricking James Potter is impossible.
I made a weird gesture in Peter's direction, to show that he should open the door. I felt proud when the door started to go up, they thought they tricked us, but instead, we tricked them, and now we're finally going to meet their girlfriends.
Inside the dorm wasn't Remus or Sirius and a girl, no it was only Remus and Sirius, or more precisely, a very naked Remus kissing a very naked Sirius.
I screamed, and Peter promptly passed out.