Chapter Text
MoM growled as he scrubbed the grass and syrup off of the leather trench coat. At least the water in the stream around him offered a bit of relaxation in this mess of a week he had had. Not only was he trapped in this horrible place but he had also been humiliated online (by his own son no less) and thrown into… various horrid pits.
“Oh come onnnnnn.” He snarled under his breath, “this stuff is really stuck on there- what the hell did they even use for this?”
“Syrup!” a capricious voice called out from… his left. “Agave, to be precise. I think. Or, that’s at least a component!”
A man in a black suit strode forward, his eyes widening at the Master’s form. His hands seemed to be stained with… blood? Fresh, too. And his feet… uncovered, and also fully soaked with reddened viscera.
At once, the many eyes that covered the Master widened. Normally he would have instantly covered himself, but by that point the damage would have already been done, mind broke beyond recognition. However, this didn’t seem to be the case with this bloodsoaked man before him. Sure, he was covered in carnage but him brain seemed to be Relatively intact. Well, best move was to play it off as normal.
“Look at you over there, mister helpful.” He smirked, leaning back on the bank of the stream and letting the coat rest at his feet in the cool water. “Unfortunately that doesn’t do me much good at the moment.”
The man blinked at the Master and then his face broke out into a grin.
“No, I suppose it doesn’t! Not at all. But that’s the question you asked– that’s the answer you get!”
He strode closer, seemingly unbothered by all of the eyes and general… unfathomableness of his form. If anything, the man seemed to be… eyeing it up?
“Now, if you were to ask a better question, well, then I might be able to do something worthwhile.”
A look of amusement flashed across the Master's face as his mouth pulled back into a wide smile of large sharp teeth. “Really? Is that so?” The tone of his voice was playful now, “what sort of something would that be?”
The man grinned, and sat down near the edge of the stream.
“Lemme think. Some soap? New coat? Now, of course, I think you look much nicer with it off– but it’s obviously not appropriate to be showing all this off every second. Or, of course, you could keep trying to clean it off with… stream water.”
“Dawwww you flatter me” the Master giggled, a soft iridescent blue rising to his cheeks, “butttt sadly I can’t go around showing myself off like this- don’t want to cause any unnecessary brain damage to people.” He sighed, drumming his fingers against the bank. “That could cause some issues for me in the long run, you know. Not everyone is resistant as you seem to be.”
He was quiet for a few seconds before clicking his fingers together, remembering the offer, “but yes- some soap could be very handy. I don’t think stream water is really an option for me at the moment.”
The man snapped his fingers, and with a stormy crackle, a bottle of saddle soap appeared in his hand. He handed it over to the Master with a little flourish of the wrist.
“OooOOoooo~ impressive!” The Master’s grin widened, catlike eyes dilating at the gift. “Maybe you are Mr. Helpful after all.” He left out another laugh as he took the bottle. It was only a few seconds before he went back to work on his coat, humming to himself. At last, the syrup had started to dissolve and the coat's sleek appearance was on the verge of renewal. “Perhaps I should keep you around.”
“Kayne.” the man said smoothly. “Mr. Kayne, if you would. And you?”
“Ahhh well..” The Master of Masters sighed, setting his coat to the side before getting to work on his pants, “that’s a bit of a tricky one. I’m not really one to hand it out for personal reasons. However..” the angel glanced back up at Kayne, “those who know me typically refer to me as the Master of Masters… or just The Master for short if that’s too much of a mouthful.”
“The Master?” Kayne said with a bit of chuckle. “Alright, Maestro. How’d ya end up in this… spot of trouble, anyway?”
“Maestro huh?” The Master asked fondly. “Can’t say that I’m opposed to it.” Setting his pants aside to dry, he next went on to his boots as he continued, “butttt to answer your question, I came to this place to visit my son that I hadn’t seen in quite some time. And well… wasn’t aware of the showrunner’s whole deal.” He waved his hand vaguely. “Turns out that my son wasn’t even around when I get here and she decided to use me as her little torture toy.”
Kayne made a pained sound, and shook his head. “Honestly, that is so rude! I’m here because I asked one of my followers to send me through– unfortunately, this place is rather closed off, and I didn’t exactly realize that when I sent Arthur through, and– oh, enough about me. Did you know that her revival is flawed? Tested it out, even! All it took was one little human sacrifice offered up to her, and she took the bait. Poor fellow ended up without a mouth. It’s honestly funny how incompetent she is.”
“Ooooo yikes-“ The Master gave a dramatic wince. “You know, she should really test those things out beforehand. Dealing with unexpected anomalies can be a real pain, as I’m sure you know.” Sighing, he stretched up and looked over to his companion. He had finished up with his cleaning and all that there was left to do was relax. “Anyhowww- not like I can die anyway so there’s no need for me to worry. Though- I am curious about you. You seem to be kinda a popular guy.”
“Oh, the– well, I haven’t got any inside this place.” Kayne said with a huff, gesturing to the general entirety of the forcefield. “But yes, quite a number of cults in my name! Or, well– not Kayne. That’s an alias. But dedicated to me, yeah.”
“Now that explains a lot! Seems like you have an impressive resumé there, hmmm??” The Master leaned towards him, elbows resting on his bare legs. “Color me intrigued.”
Kayne grinned sharply. “Now, I’m not gonna just tell you all of my everything because you’ve got a pretty face, Maestro. That’d just be irresponsible!”
He leaned in a bit closer, and dropped his voice to a lower tone.
“But then again… I’ve never been the most responsible entity around.”
Laughter escaped the Master's mouth. Surprisingly it seemed rather genuine. “Oh do I know that feeling. Unfortunately, my life doesn’t always allow for much wiggle room. You know how it is playing the long game and what not. It can be annoyingly restrictive at times, but hey, what has to be done has to be done.”
Kayne nods easily. “Fair enough. Well, then– not all of my everything– don’t want to do too much, y’know– but I’m a bit of a… malevolent entity. Considered a god, by many. Which is why I can look upon your lovely, maddening form!”
“Should have known.” The master closed his eyes, nodding softly. “This damn forcefield is messing up with all my powers and senses. Usually I would have been able to tell if someone like you was around from miles away. Oh well…” opening his eyes once more, he locked them into contact with Kanye’s, “malevolent though? That’s a rather human way of looking at it, don’t you think? For instance-“ he stood up with a flourish and took a step next to him and paced around him much like a hawk circling its prey, “many would call my motives unforgivable- heinous even- an affront against the gods itself- although in the end it’s all work and sacrifice to achieve the greatest end!” Suddenly he came to a stop beside him once more, looking down to him with eyes half lidded, “all that matters is if you believe in the means to the end that you want.”
Kayne blinked, looking up at the Master. He straightened up his posture, though he still remained seated, and squinted at the Master’s facial eyes. The– the main eyes. The ones that go in the eye sockets.
“Means to an end.” he muttered smoothly. “Now, I– I agree with you on that one, Maestro, but I’m talking about the… y’know. Killing.”
He held his hands, palms up, and made a little jazzy motion as he showed off the blood.
“I know I’m malevolent. It’s half of my point. But I don’t let that keep me down! I don’t need to be some sort of protagonist, or villain, or mentor. I’m just here for the fun! Or, well. Normally am.”
“It’s not like my hands are clean either.” The master let a gentle hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “After all- countless are dead because of my actions- children to be more precise. But I’m not here to air my baggage. All it comes down to is that sometimes there are actions that need taken.” He gave another squeeze and let his hand drop to a sigh. He then took a seat next to him. “It’s good to know that you’re having fun with it though. Only you get to dictate your life,,, well.., fate plays a bit in it but it’s really us that cause our own fates.”
Kayne touches his hand to the spot where he was touched almost with… surprise. He looks over at the Master.
“You’re not like me, dear.” he mumbles, though it is a smooth, intentional sort of speaking still. “You have a reason, a goal, a purpose. You’re not just fucking about. I cause my own fate, I am my own fate. I–”
He sighs.
“Actions that need taken.” he mutters. “That’s… I know exactly what you mean, there. Have to set up the right pins for the end to fall how you want it to.”
He smiles sharply.
“You know, it’s honestly a nice bit of fresh air, talking to you. Having someone else who gets the kind of work we do. Better than most other company I’ve had– I haven’t found anyone else who’s powerful enough to do anything significant who also takes the same sort of interest in humans as you. It’s… they’re cool, right? Little suckers.”
“They do fall into place pretty easily if you adjust their emotions just right I’ll give you that.” The master hummed softly in thought before speaking up again. “Definitely an interesting species. So much can be accomplished in such a short lifetime… though sometimes it isn’t always enough to get through with our goals. Sometimes there are adjustments that need to be made.”
“Oh, of course!” Kayne says, lighting up eagerly. “It’s amazing how much trouble one of my little guys has managed to get into. Nearly died so much! They’re so fragile, poor things. Had to help him out a bit to make sure he stayed up.”
“Awhhh poor things indeed” the master laughed,all sense of pity missing. “And they’re so self important too. The lengths they’ll go to do something that means so little in the universe. Poor misguided souls. They’re like a spiral of ants that chase each other in a circle desperate to reach a destination that they’ll never get to until they inevitably expire.” He cocked his head, looking over to him, “it’s a wonder how their species has even made it this far.”
Kayne nodded, smiling at the Master easily. He reached his hand over and rested it on the small of the Master’s back, as he continued in a softer voice.
“You get it. You get it, you understand them the way that I do! So many of the other gods I know they– they just don’t care, they don’t get the appeal! But you– you see that there’s something remarkable about all of them, that they’re fun, that they’re something you can change and shape. They’re– they can be interesting! And it’s so easy to make em interesting, you just have to throw in a few interesting pieces and they’re like fish on a hook!”
“And they’re an easy catch to reel in…” the master paused. “Usually. They can, of course, be finicky. Those are the ones you have to watch out for.” Leaning into the tough, the eyes on his face closed as a rumble escaped from his chest. “There’s always someone out there that thinks they can change their own fate and mess you up. They’re real pests.”
Kayne smiled and began rubbing a small circle into the Master’s back gently.
“Annoying. Endearing, sometimes– mostly annoying.”
Kayne let out a content sort of sigh and let his eyes close.
The purr emitting from the master only intensified. Geez, when was the last time he had done that? Embarrassing. Ugh. Oh well. This felt nice. “Endearing… yes I suppose they can be at times. Though it's a rarity… I only have a spot for one of them in my life at a time.”
“Oh, understandable.” Kayne said, leaning into the Master’s feathery body. He made a small sort of delighted noise as he felt the soft down of the Master’s chest.
The blue on the Master’s face only darkened. This wouldn’t have been an issue with his coat. The feeling of vulnerability was surreal to him but he tried to push it aside. Gradually, he left himself melt into it and rested a hand against his back. “So-“ he cocked his head, “do you normally take things so fast with gorgeous entities you meet in the woods?”
“Don’t normally meet anything as gorgeous as you.” Kayne murmured, smiling sleepily as he nuzzled into the Master a bit. “But I don’t typically take things slow in general.”
“I should consider myself lucky then.” The Master yawned, letting himself relax into the touch. His extra eyes remained locked onto the man nuzzled into him. “It’s not every day when I land myself in these situations either.”
“Then I suppose,” Kayne said, looking up at the Master’s face and smiling. “We should count this as a lovely stroke of fate.”
He chuckled a little at the word ‘fate’, as if it was a punchline all on its own.
“Sometimes it has pleasant little surprises alone the way.” Absentmindedly, the Master cupped his face and ran a thumb across it. “Who knows- maybe this could be fun for us.”
Kayne grinned, a brought a hand up to touch the Master’s chin, staining it with a bit of blood as he gripped it lightly.
“Oh, very fun indeed.”